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Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
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Excedrin headache number one: puppy mill.
2
00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:50,439
Damn!
3
00:00:50,516 --> 00:00:53,952
Does anyone here have thumbs?
Anyone? No?
4
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Agh! Sorry, I don't play.
5
00:00:56,989 --> 00:00:59,116
Hey, come on! Knock it off!
6
00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:01,583
Hey, how's the flow today?
7
00:01:01,618 --> 00:01:02,846
Hey, hey! Whoa!
8
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:06,622
Mom! Do something. Mom! Help!
9
00:01:06,922 --> 00:01:08,004
Mom!
10
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:12,599
And that was the last time I ever saw her.
11
00:01:12,671 --> 00:01:15,606
Brian, I think we've stumbled
on the root of your problems.
12
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You have abandonment issues.
Confront your mother and deal with this.
13
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Are you crazy? My eyes were barely open
and she just gave me away.
14
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Well, it's her loss, right?
15
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,218
I turned out great, huh? Am I right?
16
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Right? Yeah! You bet your ass I'm right.
17
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You wanna arm wrestle? Come on, right now!
18
00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:35,952
Brian, have you been drinking?
19
00:01:36,228 --> 00:01:37,652
No.
20
00:01:40,132 --> 00:01:43,101
Brian, you really seem to be
enjoying your wine lately.
21
00:01:43,168 --> 00:01:45,193
It's only my second glass.
22
00:01:46,405 --> 00:01:48,611
Dad, if bad men broke into the house,
23
00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:52,246
and they had guns,
and they put a gun up to your head
24
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,406
and made you choose who you wanted
to live, me or Meg, who would you choose?
25
00:01:56,949 --> 00:01:59,609
Ask your mom. I'm not very good
with tough decisions.
26
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:08,124
We'll be closing in two minutes.
27
00:02:09,228 --> 00:02:12,561
I could never choose.
I love all my children equally.
28
00:02:12,631 --> 00:02:16,904
It's hard enough having Stewie all the way in
Palm Springs visiting Grammy and Grandpa.
29
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,705
Give Nana a big hug, sweetheart.
30
00:02:27,212 --> 00:02:29,976
That should guarantee
some after-dinner entertainment.
31
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:34,776
Lois, uh... I was thinking. Why don't I fly out
to Palm Springs and pick up Stewie?
32
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:38,185
- Really?
- Yeah. It's just what I need to clear my head.
33
00:02:38,257 --> 00:02:42,619
That would be wonderful.
It'll give me time to catch up on my reading.
34
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Usually there are so many distractions.
35
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Come into my home, will ya?
36
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I'll show you, you bastard.
37
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:06,247
Stewie, gather your things. Time to go.
38
00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:08,377
It's about bloody time! You...
39
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,588
That idiot slattern sent the dog?
40
00:03:11,898 --> 00:03:13,801
Oh, oh, oh! This is... this is...
41
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:17,485
Oh, don't even get me started.
I... I... I... I mean, really!
42
00:03:17,759 --> 00:03:21,383
When I think of... of... of...
of the times that that woman has...
43
00:03:21,988 --> 00:03:23,635
Oh, I won't even begin to... to... to...
44
00:03:23,769 --> 00:03:24,861
- Can we go?
- Fine.
45
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:30,439
Peter, guess what I just got.
A relationship video.
46
00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:34,411
The infomercial said this tape
will help us communicate better as a couple.
47
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,812
Lois, when have we ever had
trouble communicating?
48
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:41,180
- Oh, Peter. I love you.
- About a quarter past five.
49
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:46,558
OK, Lois. I'll make you a deal. We'll watch
the tape, but you gotta do something for me.
50
00:03:46,691 --> 00:03:49,750
- OK. What?
- Do that Katharine Hepburn impression.
51
00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:54,329
And Philadelphia Story Hepburn. None of
that head-on-a-slinky Golden Pond stuff.
52
00:03:57,502 --> 00:04:00,096
Wait here at the gate.
I gotta run a quick errand.
53
00:04:02,774 --> 00:04:07,004
- Aren't you too young to be travelling alone?
- Aren't you too old to be wearing braces?
54
00:04:10,348 --> 00:04:14,015
- I think you've had about enough.
- Well, I... I think you're wrong,
55
00:04:14,641 --> 00:04:16,812
you increasingly attractive-Looking woman.
56
00:04:16,888 --> 00:04:19,618
- You know, you're really pretty.
- Oh, stop.
57
00:04:19,691 --> 00:04:23,525
No, I'm serious. You could...
you could be in magazines. You could!
58
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:27,763
And not just like Jugs or Creamsicle.
59
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,003
Call me!
60
00:04:30,115 --> 00:04:31,597
She won't call.
61
00:04:32,236 --> 00:04:35,205
Here's a pleasant sight.
Cirrhosis the Wonder Dog.
62
00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:38,970
I'm... I'm not drunk.
I just have a speech impediment.
63
00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:41,773
And a stomach virus.
64
00:04:43,481 --> 00:04:45,282
And an inner-ear infection.
65
00:04:45,649 --> 00:04:48,209
Flight 85 to Providence. Final boarding.
66
00:04:48,318 --> 00:04:49,515
Oh, at last!
67
00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:51,856
Yes, yes. Come now. Chase the stick.
68
00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:56,450
- Where are the bags?
- What do you mean, they're right here...
69
00:04:56,526 --> 00:04:59,359
Rupert! I told you to watch the bags!
70
00:04:59,929 --> 00:05:04,938
You were watching the boys again. It's that
steward, the one who looks like Tab Hunter.
71
00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,776
Forget it! Let's just get
on the bloody plane and go home.
72
00:05:08,104 --> 00:05:12,668
- Our tickets were in the bags.
- Flight 85 to Providence is now departing.
73
00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:14,073
That's not going to stop me.
74
00:05:18,296 --> 00:05:19,581
Hey!
75
00:05:24,521 --> 00:05:26,580
That was my plan. Where's yours?
76
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,332
Oh, my God! All right, let's not dilly-dally.
77
00:05:38,401 --> 00:05:41,814
Call Lois, have her wire us some money
and let's get out of here.
78
00:05:41,931 --> 00:05:43,342
I... I got... I'm s...
79
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,378
I'm feeling... Oh!
80
00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:48,407
Oh, that's pretty.
81
00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:54,850
Hello? Operator? Hello?
82
00:05:55,051 --> 00:05:58,280
Oh, that's right.
You have to punch in the numbers nowadays.
83
00:05:58,488 --> 00:05:59,926
I should know this.
84
00:06:00,168 --> 00:06:02,879
Oh, yes. 8675309, that's it.
85
00:06:03,683 --> 00:06:06,492
No, wait. That's not it.
Damn you, Tommy Two-Tone.
86
00:06:06,771 --> 00:06:08,961
Only one thing to do.
87
00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:12,158
Lois? Damn.
88
00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:13,834
1111112.
89
00:06:14,239 --> 00:06:15,465
Lois? Damn.
90
00:06:15,705 --> 00:06:16,933
1111113.
91
00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:20,841
"A way with words in marriage
92
00:06:21,094 --> 00:06:23,478
for couples who communicate not good."
93
00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:26,515
Oh, come on, Lois. This is gonna be worse
94
00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:29,074
than when we had to watch
your Uncle's Jerry's snuff film.
95
00:06:32,088 --> 00:06:34,147
Are they really gonna kill that girl?
96
00:06:34,224 --> 00:06:37,057
Peter, please! People are trying to watch.
97
00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:38,992
Just give it a chance.
98
00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:41,461
Hello. I'm Doctor Amanda Rebecca.
99
00:06:41,698 --> 00:06:44,826
By purchasing this video,
you've taken the first step
100
00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:47,893
towards strengthening your relationship.
101
00:06:47,971 --> 00:06:51,065
I'd like to start by asking
the women to leave the room,
102
00:06:51,141 --> 00:06:54,907
because this part of the tape is for men only.
We'll see you in a little while.
103
00:06:54,978 --> 00:06:57,218
I can see this is gonna be very intense.
104
00:06:57,706 --> 00:06:58,345
Have fun!
105
00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:02,212
Make sure your wife is out of the room.
106
00:07:06,122 --> 00:07:09,922
So, you wanna talk
or you want me to take my top off?
107
00:07:11,394 --> 00:07:14,088
That's what I thought. Oh, man!
108
00:07:14,408 --> 00:07:16,221
You're making me so hot.
109
00:07:16,966 --> 00:07:19,123
I hope you like big breasts
110
00:07:19,326 --> 00:07:23,297
because mine are so big,
this itty bra can barely contain them.
111
00:07:24,207 --> 00:07:26,903
- Do you wanna see more?
- Yes, please.
112
00:07:26,976 --> 00:07:29,342
Then you'll have to order my next tape.
113
00:07:33,049 --> 00:07:36,014
- You got the stuff?
- I got it. Where's the money?
114
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,250
- I wanna see the money.
- You don't see the money till I see the stuff.
115
00:07:40,323 --> 00:07:42,757
There's only one way
to put an end to this nuisance.
116
00:07:42,826 --> 00:07:46,529
- He's wearing a wire!
- What? You son of a...
117
00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:58,738
That's it, Mr Giraffe, get all the marmalade...
118
00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:04,099
Hello! Agh! Agh!
119
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:06,246
Damn it to pus-spewing blood-gutted hell!
120
00:08:07,283 --> 00:08:08,341
What?
121
00:08:09,152 --> 00:08:11,552
What do you mean,
our credit card was declined?
122
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:14,283
No, no. There's no need to come up. We'II...
123
00:08:14,357 --> 00:08:15,551
Oh, blast!
124
00:08:17,093 --> 00:08:18,287
Dammit!
125
00:08:18,795 --> 00:08:22,287
Oh, come on, you. Get up.
Come on! Go for a ride in the car.
126
00:08:26,469 --> 00:08:28,232
Blast! Ooh, a penny.
127
00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:34,687
- Wake up.
- What? Ah!
128
00:08:35,238 --> 00:08:37,886
Oh, my head. Oh, God.
What are we doing here?
129
00:08:37,981 --> 00:08:40,347
We needed a weekend away from the kids.
130
00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:43,762
- We have to get the hell out of here!
- Motel manager.
131
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,216
Open up, or I'll hit you
with this blunt instrument
132
00:08:46,289 --> 00:08:49,053
I use to hit deadbeats with bad credit cards.
133
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:52,064
Well, it's not an instrument.
It's more of an object.
134
00:08:52,858 --> 00:08:53,828
But it's blunt. Hard and blunt.
135
00:08:53,863 --> 00:09:00,034
And, well, it's kinda like a bat. I found it
out back one day when I was raking.
136
00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:01,365
Let's go.
137
00:09:02,138 --> 00:09:03,799
All right, we need some wheels.
138
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,556
- This one's unlocked.
- An SUV?
139
00:09:06,986 --> 00:09:11,089
We're trying to elude someone, not drive
to soccer practice. Let's take this one.
140
00:09:11,147 --> 00:09:13,274
- You like that colour?
- What's wrong with it?
141
00:09:13,349 --> 00:09:16,807
- I dunno. It's so dark.
- Yes, but it doesn't show dirt.
142
00:09:16,886 --> 00:09:18,717
- What?
- It doesn't show dirt.
143
00:09:18,788 --> 00:09:20,153
I guess.
144
00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:24,883
This is the first place we've gone to.
We should try another lot.
145
00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:27,087
Sold.
146
00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:31,724
- Go on, hot-wire it.
- Hot-wire? I don't even pump my own gas.
147
00:09:31,801 --> 00:09:35,081
- Oh, for God's sake.
- Hurry up.
148
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:39,005
- You did it.
- Put it back. I like that song.
149
00:09:46,115 --> 00:09:49,778
If Montgomery Clift, who was
in From Here to Eternity with Burt Lancaster,
150
00:09:49,852 --> 00:09:52,343
who was in Atlantic City
with Susan Sarandon,
151
00:09:52,422 --> 00:09:55,687
who was in White Palace
with Kevin Bacon. There.
152
00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:59,524
Nice, nice. Except that was
James Spader in White Palace.
153
00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:00,620
- Moron.
- Ooh, Mr Snippy.
154
00:10:00,697 --> 00:10:05,097
- I just need some time to think, all right.
- Yes, you've got lots to think about.
155
00:10:05,168 --> 00:10:08,513
- Public drunkenness, grand theft auto.
- You left out the part where
156
00:10:08,831 --> 00:10:11,872
- You smash your head on the windshield.
- I don't recall...
157
00:10:12,709 --> 00:10:15,872
Yes. Well.
I suppose I walked right into that one.
158
00:10:17,714 --> 00:10:18,738
Hello.
159
00:10:18,815 --> 00:10:21,306
- Lois. Hi, it's Brian.
- Let me talk to her.
160
00:10:21,384 --> 00:10:25,584
Brian! We were just on our way
to the airport. Is everything OK?
161
00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,782
Yeah. Everything's fine.
162
00:10:27,857 --> 00:10:30,985
Stewie and I traded in
our plane tickets for train tickets.
163
00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:33,554
Yeah. Apparently you can do that.
164
00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:36,462
- Give me the damn phone!
- Little fella's asleep,
165
00:10:36,599 --> 00:10:38,351
- But I'll give him that kiss.
- You suck!
166
00:10:38,386 --> 00:10:39,296
See you in three days.
167
00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,232
Let's go.
168
00:10:43,439 --> 00:10:45,907
Oh, crap. We gotta disappear, and quick.
169
00:10:49,946 --> 00:10:51,937
Maybe we shoulda jumped on that truck.
170
00:10:52,015 --> 00:10:56,978
- Stewie and Brian are taking a train home.
- Can we not discuss curtains for a second?
171
00:10:57,053 --> 00:10:59,351
I got another relationship tape.
172
00:10:59,555 --> 00:11:03,548
$49.95? That's three times
as much as the first one.
173
00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:07,118
Lois, our relationship
cannot be measured in nipples and dimes.
174
00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:09,494
I mean nickels and boobs.
175
00:11:09,699 --> 00:11:12,634
Money. I'll be upstairs.
176
00:11:14,937 --> 00:11:19,000
- Peter, why are you so...
- Get out! This is a part just for the men.
177
00:11:20,043 --> 00:11:24,344
- I say, there's a plane.
- If there's a plane, there's probably a pilot.
178
00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:27,850
And if there's a pilot, there must be a bar.
I can get a drink.
179
00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:32,483
I don't trust you. You put your seed
in my daughter's belly. You're fired.
180
00:11:32,622 --> 00:11:34,988
But, Pa, you can't fire me.
181
00:11:35,058 --> 00:11:38,357
You're lucky you're my brother too,
or I'd kill you.
182
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:44,993
Excuse me, sir.
I'm an experienced crop-dusting pilot.
183
00:11:45,068 --> 00:11:49,467
You can trust us completely. My friend is too
young to put a seed in your daughter's belly
184
00:11:49,539 --> 00:11:51,990
- And I'm of a different species.
- You're hired.
185
00:12:02,783 --> 00:12:06,082
Boy, will your face be red
when they find the black box on this one.
186
00:12:07,855 --> 00:12:13,085
So saturate the soil twice a day. That's
why my tomatoes haven't been coming in.
187
00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:17,888
Ah, let's see.
188
00:12:19,263 --> 00:12:21,783
Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.
189
00:12:21,969 --> 00:12:26,570
That was pretty good. But when you said
"Me llamo es Brian", you don't need the "es".
190
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,233
- Just "Me llamo Brian".
- Oh, you speak English.
191
00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:34,847
- No, just that first speech and this one.
- You're kidding, right?
192
00:12:42,923 --> 00:12:45,923
- Why did we get off here?
- My mother lives in Austin.
193
00:12:45,993 --> 00:12:48,655
Fate's brought me back here for a reason.
194
00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:50,754
I have to find my mother
and make peace with her.
195
00:12:50,831 --> 00:12:52,737
Oh, so she's in Austin, hm?
196
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,934
- Eight miles that way?
- Yes.
197
00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:59,671
All right. So instead of driving down this
sun-parched highway, we've now got to walk.
198
00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:02,940
- Uh... pretty much, yeah.
- You know what this means.
199
00:13:03,344 --> 00:13:04,244
Yeah.
200
00:13:05,713 --> 00:13:10,445
I say, walk slower, dog. My Huggies
are already holed up in Box Canyon.
201
00:13:25,766 --> 00:13:27,927
- Hello, Luke.
- Uh, have we met?
202
00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:32,276
- My name's Brian. I was born here.
- Sorry, son. Lots of dogs been born here.
203
00:13:32,487 --> 00:13:34,788
Refresh my memory.
Which one were you again?
204
00:13:35,159 --> 00:13:38,006
- I was the one who could talk.
- Brian! Come on in!
205
00:13:38,813 --> 00:13:41,462
- Betty, look who it is.
- Is that Brian?
206
00:13:42,007 --> 00:13:44,678
Oh, and you brought a little friend!
207
00:13:44,919 --> 00:13:47,387
Well, I bet you're a hungry little fella.
208
00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:51,584
Yes, and I bet you lost your virginity
to a mechanical bull. Now change me!
209
00:13:51,659 --> 00:13:54,958
Look, I've been thinking a lot
about my mother lately, and...
210
00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:57,463
She was a good dog.
211
00:13:57,531 --> 00:14:01,590
- "Was"? You mean...
- Last year. She went real peaceful.
212
00:14:03,537 --> 00:14:06,165
Well, she probably wouldn't have
wanted to see me anyway.
213
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,403
That's not true. Biscuit loved all her puppies.
214
00:14:10,211 --> 00:14:11,200
Biscuit
215
00:14:11,278 --> 00:14:13,838
Brian, your momma gave you up
because she thought
216
00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:16,314
you'd have a better life if she let you go.
217
00:14:16,383 --> 00:14:19,284
Was she right, son?
Do you have a good life?
218
00:14:19,954 --> 00:14:22,855
Yeah. I really do. I have a great life.
219
00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:27,017
- Would you like to see her?
- "See her"? I don't understand.
220
00:14:27,094 --> 00:14:30,723
We loved Biscuit so much,
we wanted to keep her with us always.
221
00:14:30,965 --> 00:14:32,956
So we had her stuffed!
222
00:14:34,635 --> 00:14:35,863
Mom!
223
00:14:36,337 --> 00:14:40,933
I say, someone must have said a funny,
because your mother's in stitches!
224
00:14:41,742 --> 00:14:43,334
I'll leave you to grieve.
225
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:49,349
Come on, Betty, why don't we get
these fellas some sandwiches?
226
00:14:50,784 --> 00:14:53,685
Look at Jesus standing over there
all by himself.
227
00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:56,880
You'd think those bulldogs would invite
him to their card game.
228
00:14:58,726 --> 00:15:01,160
You deserve better than this, Mom.
229
00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:06,458
This is actually a rather elegant solution
for my problem of what to do with Lois.
230
00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:09,024
Shut up and help me.
I'm not leaving her here.
231
00:15:15,576 --> 00:15:19,672
Oh, relax. Old girl doesn't have
too much to wag about these days, anyway.
232
00:15:21,815 --> 00:15:24,978
Hey, Meg. Try to guess the word
I'm thinking of right now.
233
00:15:25,052 --> 00:15:26,542
And it's not "kitty".
234
00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:28,847
- "Car".
- No.
235
00:15:28,923 --> 00:15:31,585
- I dunno. "Apple".
- No. Give up?
236
00:15:31,659 --> 00:15:33,659
- Yeah.
- It was "kitty"!
237
00:15:36,730 --> 00:15:40,359
- Peter...
- Oh, my God! The new video! Life is sweet!
238
00:15:41,502 --> 00:15:43,470
How about some whipped cream?
239
00:15:43,537 --> 00:15:45,732
Oh, that's always good.
240
00:15:45,806 --> 00:15:49,403
- And some cinnamon.
- Oh! That's good too.
241
00:15:49,476 --> 00:15:52,036
And then guess what? I'm going to add...
242
00:15:52,112 --> 00:15:54,842
Oh, jeez, if she says "Mrs Dash",
I'm gonna lose it.
243
00:15:54,915 --> 00:15:56,143
We're going to add...
244
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,683
- Peter!
- Agh!
245
00:15:57,918 --> 00:16:01,012
I know what you've been doing,
and I'm very upset with you.
246
00:16:01,088 --> 00:16:05,457
Wow. Usually beautiful women don't turn
back into you until after I'm finished.
247
00:16:05,526 --> 00:16:10,796
These tapes are about communication.
If you wanted to see a woman acting nasty...
248
00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:13,226
you shoulda told me.
249
00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:16,034
- This is hot.
- Turn around.
250
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:20,572
Lois! Ah, this is not what it looks like.
She means nothing to me.
251
00:16:20,741 --> 00:16:22,572
- Peter, it's OK.
- Yeah?
252
00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:25,009
I was trying to be sexy for ya.
253
00:16:26,814 --> 00:16:28,441
Ahh! Come here, you!
254
00:16:29,984 --> 00:16:32,111
You shoulda told me...
255
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,011
You shoulda told me...
256
00:16:38,359 --> 00:16:42,084
I'm gonna get directions to the nearest park
so we can give my mother a proper burial.
257
00:16:45,232 --> 00:16:47,723
Come on, darling. Stiff upper lip
258
00:16:49,003 --> 00:16:50,834
I'm writing that one down.
259
00:16:57,444 --> 00:16:59,036
- Say something.
- What?
260
00:16:59,113 --> 00:17:02,276
- Just say something, please!
- Oh, for God's sake.
261
00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:03,665
Um... Uh...
262
00:17:03,751 --> 00:17:08,552
Yea, and God said to Abraham
you will kill your son Isaac.
263
00:17:08,956 --> 00:17:10,423
And Abraham said "I can't hear you."
264
00:17:10,491 --> 00:17:14,484
"You'll have to speak into the microphone."
265
00:17:15,062 --> 00:17:19,965
And God said "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better?"
266
00:17:20,034 --> 00:17:23,128
"Jerry, pull the high end out.
I'm still getting some hiss back."
267
00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:25,761
- Say something about my mother!
- Oh, yes. I'm sorry.
268
00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:30,539
I never knew Biscuit as a dog,
269
00:17:30,811 --> 00:17:33,541
but I did know her as a table.
270
00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:36,709
She was sturdy,
all four legs the same length...
271
00:17:36,784 --> 00:17:38,274
Thanks. That's enough.
272
00:17:38,352 --> 00:17:41,446
Yes, yes. Requiem and terra pax,
and so forth. Amen.
273
00:17:51,532 --> 00:17:53,397
Wow, look at all those stars.
274
00:17:55,736 --> 00:18:00,173
I've read that starlight gives you cancer.
Then again, what doesn't these days?
275
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,373
Listen, there's something I've been meaning
to tell you. It's not easy for me to say.
276
00:18:04,478 --> 00:18:07,276
Oh, God. You're not coming
out of the closet, are you?
277
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,907
Why does everyone always come out to me?
278
00:18:09,983 --> 00:18:13,009
I just wanted to thank you
for everything you did today.
279
00:18:13,087 --> 00:18:16,785
- I know this whole trip has been a mess.
- Well, it hasn't been all bad.
280
00:18:16,857 --> 00:18:21,055
I must admit there have been some moments
that were, dare I say, fun.
281
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:25,229
We're off on the road to Rhode Island
282
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:29,766
We're having the time of our lives
283
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:33,875
- Take it, dog!
- We're quite a pair of partners
284
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:35,875
Just like Thelma and Louise
285
00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:38,335
'Cept you're not six feet tall
286
00:18:38,412 --> 00:18:41,870
- And your breasts don't reach your knees.
- Give it time.
287
00:18:41,949 --> 00:18:45,715
We're off on the road to Rhode Island
288
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:50,386
We're certainly going in style
289
00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:54,163
I'm with an intellectual
290
00:18:54,505 --> 00:18:57,126
- Who craps inside his pants
- How dare you?
291
00:18:57,161 --> 00:19:00,858
At least I don't leave urine stains
on all the household plants
292
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,058
Oh, pee jokes.
293
00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:05,261
We've travelled a bit and we've found
294
00:19:06,504 --> 00:19:11,407
Like a masochist in Newport,
we're Rhode-Island bound
295
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,639
- Crazy travel conditions.
- First class and no class.
296
00:19:14,712 --> 00:19:16,942
Careful with that joke-it's an antique.
297
00:19:17,014 --> 00:19:20,916
We're off on the road to Rhode Island
298
00:19:22,122 --> 00:19:25,590
We're not gonna stop till we're there
299
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:26,700
Maybe for a beer.
300
00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:29,390
Whatever dangers we may face
301
00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:32,160
- We'll never fear or cry
- That's right!
302
00:19:32,246 --> 00:19:36,302
Until we're syndicated,
Fox will never let us die
303
00:19:36,389 --> 00:19:41,703
- Please?
- We're off on the road to Rhode Island
304
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:45,924
The home of that old campus swing
305
00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:49,048
We may pick up some college girls
306
00:19:49,132 --> 00:19:51,388
And picnic on the grass
307
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:56,086
We'd tell you more
but we would have the censors on our ass
308
00:19:57,376 --> 00:20:00,967
We certainly do get around
309
00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:03,555
Like renegade Pilgrims
thrown out of Plymouth Colony.
310
00:20:04,759 --> 00:20:06,909
We're Rhode Island-bound
311
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:11,089
Like two college freshmen who were rejected
by Harvard and forced to go to Brown.
312
00:20:11,806 --> 00:20:17,147
We're Rhode Island-bound
313
00:20:28,786 --> 00:20:31,550
Look who I found at the train station!
314
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:35,284
My baby! Mommy missed you so much.
315
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,687
God forbid you should have
put a little eyeliner on for my homecoming.
316
00:20:39,764 --> 00:20:42,198
Did you have a nice trip with Brian?
317
00:20:42,266 --> 00:20:45,064
Yes, smooth sailing through calm seas.
318
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:50,306
Hey, kid! Thanks for not ratting me out.
Is there anything I can do to pay you back?
319
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:55,028
Oh, yes. You remember that episode of The
Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life,
320
00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:56,500
- And Greg became his slave?
- Yep.
321
00:20:57,148 --> 00:21:00,944
It's on this afternoon. You can tape it for me.
And put a nice label on it.
322
00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:06,019
OK, Meg. I'm thinking of another word.
323
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,820
This time it's definitely not "kitty".
324
00:21:09,026 --> 00:21:11,221
- Can you guess what it is?
- Is it "kitty"?
325
00:21:11,295 --> 00:21:13,763
Uh! Get out of my head!
326
00:21:14,095 --> 00:21:15,240
Get out of my head!