00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:49,145 Excedrin headache number one: puppy mill. 2 00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:50,439 Damn! 3 00:00:50,516 --> 00:00:53,952 Does anyone here have thumbs? Anyone? No? 4 00:00:55,387 --> 00:00:56,911 Agh! Sorry, I don't play. 5 00:00:56,989 --> 00:00:59,116 Hey, come on! Knock it off! 6 00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:01,583 Hey, how's the flow today? 7 00:01:01,618 --> 00:01:02,846 Hey, hey! Whoa! 8 00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:06,622 Mom! Do something. Mom! Help! 9 00:01:06,922 --> 00:01:08,004 Mom! 10 00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:12,599 And that was the last time I ever saw her. 11 00:01:12,671 --> 00:01:15,606 Brian, I think we've stumbled on the root of your problems. 12 00:01:15,674 --> 00:01:19,334 You have abandonment issues. Confront your mother and deal with this. 13 00:01:19,411 --> 00:01:24,040 Are you crazy? My eyes were barely open and she just gave me away. 14 00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:26,016 Well, it's her loss, right? 15 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,218 I turned out great, huh? Am I right? 16 00:01:28,486 --> 00:01:31,007 Right? Yeah! You bet your ass I'm right. 17 00:01:31,303 --> 00:01:33,258 You wanna arm wrestle? Come on, right now! 18 00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:35,952 Brian, have you been drinking? 19 00:01:36,228 --> 00:01:37,652 No. 20 00:01:40,132 --> 00:01:43,101 Brian, you really seem to be enjoying your wine lately. 21 00:01:43,168 --> 00:01:45,193 It's only my second glass. 22 00:01:46,405 --> 00:01:48,611 Dad, if bad men broke into the house, 23 00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:52,246 and they had guns, and they put a gun up to your head 24 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,406 and made you choose who you wanted to live, me or Meg, who would you choose? 25 00:01:56,949 --> 00:01:59,609 Ask your mom. I'm not very good with tough decisions. 26 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:08,124 We'll be closing in two minutes. 27 00:02:09,228 --> 00:02:12,561 I could never choose. I love all my children equally. 28 00:02:12,631 --> 00:02:16,904 It's hard enough having Stewie all the way in Palm Springs visiting Grammy and Grandpa. 29 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,705 Give Nana a big hug, sweetheart. 30 00:02:27,212 --> 00:02:29,976 That should guarantee some after-dinner entertainment. 31 00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:34,776 Lois, uh... I was thinking. Why don't I fly out to Palm Springs and pick up Stewie? 32 00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:38,185 - Really? - Yeah. It's just what I need to clear my head. 33 00:02:38,257 --> 00:02:42,619 That would be wonderful. It'll give me time to catch up on my reading. 34 00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:44,993 Usually there are so many distractions. 35 00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:53,096 Come into my home, will ya? 36 00:02:55,574 --> 00:02:57,508 I'll show you, you bastard. 37 00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:06,247 Stewie, gather your things. Time to go. 38 00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:08,377 It's about bloody time! You... 39 00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,588 That idiot slattern sent the dog? 40 00:03:11,898 --> 00:03:13,801 Oh, oh, oh! This is... this is... 41 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:17,485 Oh, don't even get me started. I... I... I... I mean, really! 42 00:03:17,759 --> 00:03:21,383 When I think of... of... of... of the times that that woman has... 43 00:03:21,988 --> 00:03:23,635 Oh, I won't even begin to... to... to... 44 00:03:23,769 --> 00:03:24,861 - Can we go? - Fine. 45 00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:30,439 Peter, guess what I just got. A relationship video. 46 00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:34,411 The infomercial said this tape will help us communicate better as a couple. 47 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,812 Lois, when have we ever had trouble communicating? 48 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:41,180 - Oh, Peter. I love you. - About a quarter past five. 49 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:46,558 OK, Lois. I'll make you a deal. We'll watch the tape, but you gotta do something for me. 50 00:03:46,691 --> 00:03:49,750 - OK. What? - Do that Katharine Hepburn impression. 51 00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:54,329 And Philadelphia Story Hepburn. None of that head-on-a-slinky Golden Pond stuff. 52 00:03:57,502 --> 00:04:00,096 Wait here at the gate. I gotta run a quick errand. 53 00:04:02,774 --> 00:04:07,004 - Aren't you too young to be travelling alone? - Aren't you too old to be wearing braces? 54 00:04:10,348 --> 00:04:14,015 - I think you've had about enough. - Well, I... I think you're wrong, 55 00:04:14,641 --> 00:04:16,812 you increasingly attractive-Looking woman. 56 00:04:16,888 --> 00:04:19,618 - You know, you're really pretty. - Oh, stop. 57 00:04:19,691 --> 00:04:23,525 No, I'm serious. You could... you could be in magazines. You could! 58 00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:27,763 And not just like Jugs or Creamsicle. 59 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,003 Call me! 60 00:04:30,115 --> 00:04:31,597 She won't call. 61 00:04:32,236 --> 00:04:35,205 Here's a pleasant sight. Cirrhosis the Wonder Dog. 62 00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:38,970 I'm... I'm not drunk. I just have a speech impediment. 63 00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:41,773 And a stomach virus. 64 00:04:43,481 --> 00:04:45,282 And an inner-ear infection. 65 00:04:45,649 --> 00:04:48,209 Flight 85 to Providence. Final boarding. 66 00:04:48,318 --> 00:04:49,515 Oh, at last! 67 00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:51,856 Yes, yes. Come now. Chase the stick. 68 00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:56,450 - Where are the bags? - What do you mean, they're right here... 69 00:04:56,526 --> 00:04:59,359 Rupert! I told you to watch the bags! 70 00:04:59,929 --> 00:05:04,938 You were watching the boys again. It's that steward, the one who looks like Tab Hunter. 71 00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,776 Forget it! Let's just get on the bloody plane and go home. 72 00:05:08,104 --> 00:05:12,668 - Our tickets were in the bags. - Flight 85 to Providence is now departing. 73 00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:14,073 That's not going to stop me. 74 00:05:18,296 --> 00:05:19,581 Hey! 75 00:05:24,521 --> 00:05:26,580 That was my plan. Where's yours? 76 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,332 Oh, my God! All right, let's not dilly-dally. 77 00:05:38,401 --> 00:05:41,814 Call Lois, have her wire us some money and let's get out of here. 78 00:05:41,931 --> 00:05:43,342 I... I got... I'm s... 79 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,378 I'm feeling... Oh! 80 00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:48,407 Oh, that's pretty. 81 00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:54,850 Hello? Operator? Hello? 82 00:05:55,051 --> 00:05:58,280 Oh, that's right. You have to punch in the numbers nowadays. 83 00:05:58,488 --> 00:05:59,926 I should know this. 84 00:06:00,168 --> 00:06:02,879 Oh, yes. 8675309, that's it. 85 00:06:03,683 --> 00:06:06,492 No, wait. That's not it. Damn you, Tommy Two-Tone. 86 00:06:06,771 --> 00:06:08,961 Only one thing to do. 87 00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:12,158 Lois? Damn. 88 00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:13,834 1111112. 89 00:06:14,239 --> 00:06:15,465 Lois? Damn. 90 00:06:15,705 --> 00:06:16,933 1111113. 91 00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:20,841 "A way with words in marriage 92 00:06:21,094 --> 00:06:23,478 for couples who communicate not good." 93 00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:26,515 Oh, come on, Lois. This is gonna be worse 94 00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:29,074 than when we had to watch your Uncle's Jerry's snuff film. 95 00:06:32,088 --> 00:06:34,147 Are they really gonna kill that girl? 96 00:06:34,224 --> 00:06:37,057 Peter, please! People are trying to watch. 97 00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:38,992 Just give it a chance. 98 00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:41,461 Hello. I'm Doctor Amanda Rebecca. 99 00:06:41,698 --> 00:06:44,826 By purchasing this video, you've taken the first step 100 00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:47,893 towards strengthening your relationship. 101 00:06:47,971 --> 00:06:51,065 I'd like to start by asking the women to leave the room, 102 00:06:51,141 --> 00:06:54,907 because this part of the tape is for men only. We'll see you in a little while. 103 00:06:54,978 --> 00:06:57,218 I can see this is gonna be very intense. 104 00:06:57,706 --> 00:06:58,345 Have fun! 105 00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:02,212 Make sure your wife is out of the room. 106 00:07:06,122 --> 00:07:09,922 So, you wanna talk or you want me to take my top off? 107 00:07:11,394 --> 00:07:14,088 That's what I thought. Oh, man! 108 00:07:14,408 --> 00:07:16,221 You're making me so hot. 109 00:07:16,966 --> 00:07:19,123 I hope you like big breasts 110 00:07:19,326 --> 00:07:23,297 because mine are so big, this itty bra can barely contain them. 111 00:07:24,207 --> 00:07:26,903 - Do you wanna see more? - Yes, please. 112 00:07:26,976 --> 00:07:29,342 Then you'll have to order my next tape. 113 00:07:33,049 --> 00:07:36,014 - You got the stuff? - I got it. Where's the money? 114 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,250 - I wanna see the money. - You don't see the money till I see the stuff. 115 00:07:40,323 --> 00:07:42,757 There's only one way to put an end to this nuisance. 116 00:07:42,826 --> 00:07:46,529 - He's wearing a wire! - What? You son of a... 117 00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:58,738 That's it, Mr Giraffe, get all the marmalade... 118 00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:04,099 Hello! Agh! Agh! 119 00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:06,246 Damn it to pus-spewing blood-gutted hell! 120 00:08:07,283 --> 00:08:08,341 What? 121 00:08:09,152 --> 00:08:11,552 What do you mean, our credit card was declined? 122 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:14,283 No, no. There's no need to come up. We'II... 123 00:08:14,357 --> 00:08:15,551 Oh, blast! 124 00:08:17,093 --> 00:08:18,287 Dammit! 125 00:08:18,795 --> 00:08:22,287 Oh, come on, you. Get up. Come on! Go for a ride in the car. 126 00:08:26,469 --> 00:08:28,232 Blast! Ooh, a penny. 127 00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:34,687 - Wake up. - What? Ah! 128 00:08:35,238 --> 00:08:37,886 Oh, my head. Oh, God. What are we doing here? 129 00:08:37,981 --> 00:08:40,347 We needed a weekend away from the kids. 130 00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:43,762 - We have to get the hell out of here! - Motel manager. 131 00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,216 Open up, or I'll hit you with this blunt instrument 132 00:08:46,289 --> 00:08:49,053 I use to hit deadbeats with bad credit cards. 133 00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:52,064 Well, it's not an instrument. It's more of an object. 134 00:08:52,858 --> 00:08:53,828 But it's blunt. Hard and blunt. 135 00:08:53,863 --> 00:09:00,034 And, well, it's kinda like a bat. I found it out back one day when I was raking. 136 00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:01,365 Let's go. 137 00:09:02,138 --> 00:09:03,799 All right, we need some wheels. 138 00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,556 - This one's unlocked. - An SUV? 139 00:09:06,986 --> 00:09:11,089 We're trying to elude someone, not drive to soccer practice. Let's take this one. 140 00:09:11,147 --> 00:09:13,274 - You like that colour? - What's wrong with it? 141 00:09:13,349 --> 00:09:16,807 - I dunno. It's so dark. - Yes, but it doesn't show dirt. 142 00:09:16,886 --> 00:09:18,717 - What? - It doesn't show dirt. 143 00:09:18,788 --> 00:09:20,153 I guess. 144 00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:24,883 This is the first place we've gone to. We should try another lot. 145 00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:27,087 Sold. 146 00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:31,724 - Go on, hot-wire it. - Hot-wire? I don't even pump my own gas. 147 00:09:31,801 --> 00:09:35,081 - Oh, for God's sake. - Hurry up. 148 00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:39,005 - You did it. - Put it back. I like that song. 149 00:09:46,115 --> 00:09:49,778 If Montgomery Clift, who was in From Here to Eternity with Burt Lancaster, 150 00:09:49,852 --> 00:09:52,343 who was in Atlantic City with Susan Sarandon, 151 00:09:52,422 --> 00:09:55,687 who was in White Palace with Kevin Bacon. There. 152 00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:59,524 Nice, nice. Except that was James Spader in White Palace. 153 00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:00,620 - Moron. - Ooh, Mr Snippy. 154 00:10:00,697 --> 00:10:05,097 - I just need some time to think, all right. - Yes, you've got lots to think about. 155 00:10:05,168 --> 00:10:08,513 - Public drunkenness, grand theft auto. - You left out the part where 156 00:10:08,831 --> 00:10:11,872 - You smash your head on the windshield. - I don't recall... 157 00:10:12,709 --> 00:10:15,872 Yes. Well. I suppose I walked right into that one. 158 00:10:17,714 --> 00:10:18,738 Hello. 159 00:10:18,815 --> 00:10:21,306 - Lois. Hi, it's Brian. - Let me talk to her. 160 00:10:21,384 --> 00:10:25,584 Brian! We were just on our way to the airport. Is everything OK? 161 00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,782 Yeah. Everything's fine. 162 00:10:27,857 --> 00:10:30,985 Stewie and I traded in our plane tickets for train tickets. 163 00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:33,554 Yeah. Apparently you can do that. 164 00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:36,462 - Give me the damn phone! - Little fella's asleep, 165 00:10:36,599 --> 00:10:38,351 - But I'll give him that kiss. - You suck! 166 00:10:38,386 --> 00:10:39,296 See you in three days. 167 00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,232 Let's go. 168 00:10:43,439 --> 00:10:45,907 Oh, crap. We gotta disappear, and quick. 169 00:10:49,946 --> 00:10:51,937 Maybe we shoulda jumped on that truck. 170 00:10:52,015 --> 00:10:56,978 - Stewie and Brian are taking a train home. - Can we not discuss curtains for a second? 171 00:10:57,053 --> 00:10:59,351 I got another relationship tape. 172 00:10:59,555 --> 00:11:03,548 $49.95? That's three times as much as the first one. 173 00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:07,118 Lois, our relationship cannot be measured in nipples and dimes. 174 00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:09,494 I mean nickels and boobs. 175 00:11:09,699 --> 00:11:12,634 Money. I'll be upstairs. 176 00:11:14,937 --> 00:11:19,000 - Peter, why are you so... - Get out! This is a part just for the men. 177 00:11:20,043 --> 00:11:24,344 - I say, there's a plane. - If there's a plane, there's probably a pilot. 178 00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:27,850 And if there's a pilot, there must be a bar. I can get a drink. 179 00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:32,483 I don't trust you. You put your seed in my daughter's belly. You're fired. 180 00:11:32,622 --> 00:11:34,988 But, Pa, you can't fire me. 181 00:11:35,058 --> 00:11:38,357 You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you. 182 00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:44,993 Excuse me, sir. I'm an experienced crop-dusting pilot. 183 00:11:45,068 --> 00:11:49,467 You can trust us completely. My friend is too young to put a seed in your daughter's belly 184 00:11:49,539 --> 00:11:51,990 - And I'm of a different species. - You're hired. 185 00:12:02,783 --> 00:12:06,082 Boy, will your face be red when they find the black box on this one. 186 00:12:07,855 --> 00:12:13,085 So saturate the soil twice a day. That's why my tomatoes haven't been coming in. 187 00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:17,888 Ah, let's see. 188 00:12:19,263 --> 00:12:21,783 Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes. 189 00:12:21,969 --> 00:12:26,570 That was pretty good. But when you said "Me llamo es Brian", you don't need the "es". 190 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,233 - Just "Me llamo Brian". - Oh, you speak English. 191 00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:34,847 - No, just that first speech and this one. - You're kidding, right? 192 00:12:42,923 --> 00:12:45,923 - Why did we get off here? - My mother lives in Austin. 193 00:12:45,993 --> 00:12:48,655 Fate's brought me back here for a reason. 194 00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:50,754 I have to find my mother and make peace with her. 195 00:12:50,831 --> 00:12:52,737 Oh, so she's in Austin, hm? 196 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,934 - Eight miles that way? - Yes. 197 00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:59,671 All right. So instead of driving down this sun-parched highway, we've now got to walk. 198 00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:02,940 - Uh... pretty much, yeah. - You know what this means. 199 00:13:03,344 --> 00:13:04,244 Yeah. 200 00:13:05,713 --> 00:13:10,445 I say, walk slower, dog. My Huggies are already holed up in Box Canyon. 201 00:13:25,766 --> 00:13:27,927 - Hello, Luke. - Uh, have we met? 202 00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:32,276 - My name's Brian. I was born here. - Sorry, son. Lots of dogs been born here. 203 00:13:32,487 --> 00:13:34,788 Refresh my memory. Which one were you again? 204 00:13:35,159 --> 00:13:38,006 - I was the one who could talk. - Brian! Come on in! 205 00:13:38,813 --> 00:13:41,462 - Betty, look who it is. - Is that Brian? 206 00:13:42,007 --> 00:13:44,678 Oh, and you brought a little friend! 207 00:13:44,919 --> 00:13:47,387 Well, I bet you're a hungry little fella. 208 00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:51,584 Yes, and I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull. Now change me! 209 00:13:51,659 --> 00:13:54,958 Look, I've been thinking a lot about my mother lately, and... 210 00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:57,463 She was a good dog. 211 00:13:57,531 --> 00:14:01,590 - "Was"? You mean... - Last year. She went real peaceful. 212 00:14:03,537 --> 00:14:06,165 Well, she probably wouldn't have wanted to see me anyway. 213 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,403 That's not true. Biscuit loved all her puppies. 214 00:14:10,211 --> 00:14:11,200 Biscuit 215 00:14:11,278 --> 00:14:13,838 Brian, your momma gave you up because she thought 216 00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:16,314 you'd have a better life if she let you go. 217 00:14:16,383 --> 00:14:19,284 Was she right, son? Do you have a good life? 218 00:14:19,954 --> 00:14:22,855 Yeah. I really do. I have a great life. 219 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:27,017 - Would you like to see her? - "See her"? I don't understand. 220 00:14:27,094 --> 00:14:30,723 We loved Biscuit so much, we wanted to keep her with us always. 221 00:14:30,965 --> 00:14:32,956 So we had her stuffed! 222 00:14:34,635 --> 00:14:35,863 Mom! 223 00:14:36,337 --> 00:14:40,933 I say, someone must have said a funny, because your mother's in stitches! 224 00:14:41,742 --> 00:14:43,334 I'll leave you to grieve. 225 00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:49,349 Come on, Betty, why don't we get these fellas some sandwiches? 226 00:14:50,784 --> 00:14:53,685 Look at Jesus standing over there all by himself. 227 00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:56,880 You'd think those bulldogs would invite him to their card game. 228 00:14:58,726 --> 00:15:01,160 You deserve better than this, Mom. 229 00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:06,458 This is actually a rather elegant solution for my problem of what to do with Lois. 230 00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:09,024 Shut up and help me. I'm not leaving her here. 231 00:15:15,576 --> 00:15:19,672 Oh, relax. Old girl doesn't have too much to wag about these days, anyway. 232 00:15:21,815 --> 00:15:24,978 Hey, Meg. Try to guess the word I'm thinking of right now. 233 00:15:25,052 --> 00:15:26,542 And it's not "kitty". 234 00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:28,847 - "Car". - No. 235 00:15:28,923 --> 00:15:31,585 - I dunno. "Apple". - No. Give up? 236 00:15:31,659 --> 00:15:33,659 - Yeah. - It was "kitty"! 237 00:15:36,730 --> 00:15:40,359 - Peter... - Oh, my God! The new video! Life is sweet! 238 00:15:41,502 --> 00:15:43,470 How about some whipped cream? 239 00:15:43,537 --> 00:15:45,732 Oh, that's always good. 240 00:15:45,806 --> 00:15:49,403 - And some cinnamon. - Oh! That's good too. 241 00:15:49,476 --> 00:15:52,036 And then guess what? I'm going to add... 242 00:15:52,112 --> 00:15:54,842 Oh, jeez, if she says "Mrs Dash", I'm gonna lose it. 243 00:15:54,915 --> 00:15:56,143 We're going to add... 244 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,683 - Peter! - Agh! 245 00:15:57,918 --> 00:16:01,012 I know what you've been doing, and I'm very upset with you. 246 00:16:01,088 --> 00:16:05,457 Wow. Usually beautiful women don't turn back into you until after I'm finished. 247 00:16:05,526 --> 00:16:10,796 These tapes are about communication. If you wanted to see a woman acting nasty... 248 00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:13,226 you shoulda told me. 249 00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:16,034 - This is hot. - Turn around. 250 00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:20,572 Lois! Ah, this is not what it looks like. She means nothing to me. 251 00:16:20,741 --> 00:16:22,572 - Peter, it's OK. - Yeah? 252 00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:25,009 I was trying to be sexy for ya. 253 00:16:26,814 --> 00:16:28,441 Ahh! Come here, you! 254 00:16:29,984 --> 00:16:32,111 You shoulda told me... 255 00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,011 You shoulda told me... 256 00:16:38,359 --> 00:16:42,084 I'm gonna get directions to the nearest park so we can give my mother a proper burial. 257 00:16:45,232 --> 00:16:47,723 Come on, darling. Stiff upper lip 258 00:16:49,003 --> 00:16:50,834 I'm writing that one down. 259 00:16:57,444 --> 00:16:59,036 - Say something. - What? 260 00:16:59,113 --> 00:17:02,276 - Just say something, please! - Oh, for God's sake. 261 00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:03,665 Um... Uh... 262 00:17:03,751 --> 00:17:08,552 Yea, and God said to Abraham you will kill your son Isaac. 263 00:17:08,956 --> 00:17:10,423 And Abraham said "I can't hear you." 264 00:17:10,491 --> 00:17:14,484 "You'll have to speak into the microphone." 265 00:17:15,062 --> 00:17:19,965 And God said "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better?" 266 00:17:20,034 --> 00:17:23,128 "Jerry, pull the high end out. I'm still getting some hiss back." 267 00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:25,761 - Say something about my mother! - Oh, yes. I'm sorry. 268 00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:30,539 I never knew Biscuit as a dog, 269 00:17:30,811 --> 00:17:33,541 but I did know her as a table. 270 00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:36,709 She was sturdy, all four legs the same length... 271 00:17:36,784 --> 00:17:38,274 Thanks. That's enough. 272 00:17:38,352 --> 00:17:41,446 Yes, yes. Requiem and terra pax, and so forth. Amen. 273 00:17:51,532 --> 00:17:53,397 Wow, look at all those stars. 274 00:17:55,736 --> 00:18:00,173 I've read that starlight gives you cancer. Then again, what doesn't these days? 275 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,373 Listen, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. It's not easy for me to say. 276 00:18:04,478 --> 00:18:07,276 Oh, God. You're not coming out of the closet, are you? 277 00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,907 Why does everyone always come out to me? 278 00:18:09,983 --> 00:18:13,009 I just wanted to thank you for everything you did today. 279 00:18:13,087 --> 00:18:16,785 - I know this whole trip has been a mess. - Well, it hasn't been all bad. 280 00:18:16,857 --> 00:18:21,055 I must admit there have been some moments that were, dare I say, fun. 281 00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:25,229 We're off on the road to Rhode Island 282 00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:29,766 We're having the time of our lives 283 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:33,875 - Take it, dog! - We're quite a pair of partners 284 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:35,875 Just like Thelma and Louise 285 00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:38,335 'Cept you're not six feet tall 286 00:18:38,412 --> 00:18:41,870 - And your breasts don't reach your knees. - Give it time. 287 00:18:41,949 --> 00:18:45,715 We're off on the road to Rhode Island 288 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:50,386 We're certainly going in style 289 00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:54,163 I'm with an intellectual 290 00:18:54,505 --> 00:18:57,126 - Who craps inside his pants - How dare you? 291 00:18:57,161 --> 00:19:00,858 At least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants 292 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,058 Oh, pee jokes. 293 00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:05,261 We've travelled a bit and we've found 294 00:19:06,504 --> 00:19:11,407 Like a masochist in Newport, we're Rhode-Island bound 295 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,639 - Crazy travel conditions. - First class and no class. 296 00:19:14,712 --> 00:19:16,942 Careful with that joke-it's an antique. 297 00:19:17,014 --> 00:19:20,916 We're off on the road to Rhode Island 298 00:19:22,122 --> 00:19:25,590 We're not gonna stop till we're there 299 00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:26,700 Maybe for a beer. 300 00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:29,390 Whatever dangers we may face 301 00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:32,160 - We'll never fear or cry - That's right! 302 00:19:32,246 --> 00:19:36,302 Until we're syndicated, Fox will never let us die 303 00:19:36,389 --> 00:19:41,703 - Please? - We're off on the road to Rhode Island 304 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:45,924 The home of that old campus swing 305 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:49,048 We may pick up some college girls 306 00:19:49,132 --> 00:19:51,388 And picnic on the grass 307 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:56,086 We'd tell you more but we would have the censors on our ass 308 00:19:57,376 --> 00:20:00,967 We certainly do get around 309 00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:03,555 Like renegade Pilgrims thrown out of Plymouth Colony. 310 00:20:04,759 --> 00:20:06,909 We're Rhode Island-bound 311 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:11,089 Like two college freshmen who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown. 312 00:20:11,806 --> 00:20:17,147 We're Rhode Island-bound 313 00:20:28,786 --> 00:20:31,550 Look who I found at the train station! 314 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:35,284 My baby! Mommy missed you so much. 315 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,687 God forbid you should have put a little eyeliner on for my homecoming. 316 00:20:39,764 --> 00:20:42,198 Did you have a nice trip with Brian? 317 00:20:42,266 --> 00:20:45,064 Yes, smooth sailing through calm seas. 318 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:50,306 Hey, kid! Thanks for not ratting me out. Is there anything I can do to pay you back? 319 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:55,028 Oh, yes. You remember that episode of The Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life, 320 00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:56,500 - And Greg became his slave? - Yep. 321 00:20:57,148 --> 00:21:00,944 It's on this afternoon. You can tape it for me. And put a nice label on it. 322 00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:06,019 OK, Meg. I'm thinking of another word. 323 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,820 This time it's definitely not "kitty". 324 00:21:09,026 --> 00:21:11,221 - Can you guess what it is? - Is it "kitty"? 325 00:21:11,295 --> 00:21:13,763 Uh! Get out of my head! 326 00:21:14,095 --> 00:21:15,240 Get out of my head!