1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,921
♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:08,174
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,928
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,847
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,142
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,604
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,024
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,155
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy. ♪
10
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,909
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
11
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:37,245
We now return to A Quiet Place,
12
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,997
starring a Jewish family.
13
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,171
I'm finally all caught up on New Girl,
14
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,007
if you guys want to talk about that.
15
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,475
I don't think they're going for it.
16
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,727
Wait.
17
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,065
I kind of like that Schmidt.
18
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,317
You kind of like that Schmidt.
19
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,403
All right, fellas, I got to get going.
20
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,571
Aw, come on.
I want to get one more beer.
21
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,407
Again! Again, again!
22
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,492
Sorry, Peter, I got
to work early in the morning.
23
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,202
Yeah, I'm out, too.
24
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,495
Aw, crap, I don't have any cash.
25
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,582
Hey, can one of you guys spot me?
26
00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:23,499
- Just put it on your card.
- I can't.
27
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,918
Lois'll see the charge.
She thinks I'm still at work.
28
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:26,919
Wa-peesh.
29
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,337
Wha-What is that? What do you mean?
30
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,922
What do you mean, like "Wha-pshh"?
31
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,425
- Like that? Like a whip sound?
- Yeah. How did I do it?
32
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,884
Very incorrectly.
33
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,428
You don't have your own card,
34
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,013
one that Lois doesn't know about?
35
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,514
No. Lois would kill me.
36
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,933
Ooh, what?-what?-what?-peesh.
37
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,060
Indiana James?
38
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,521
Anyone?
39
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:52,385
456 Maple Drive, Suite 305.
40
00:01:52,386 --> 00:01:54,231
The "suite" is just a mailbox.
41
00:01:54,232 --> 00:01:56,532
This is where I get
all my credit card bills sent to
42
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,160
and any other mail
Donna would be mad about.
43
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,203
- Like what?
- Knives with gemstones,
44
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,955
fat-butt magazines,
45
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,786
whatever you think Ice-T
would keep in a nightstand.
46
00:02:05,787 --> 00:02:07,962
But really it's
for the credit card bills.
47
00:02:07,963 --> 00:02:09,711
I get some of my stuff here, too.
48
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:12,251
Bills, catheters, residual checks.
49
00:02:12,252 --> 00:02:14,385
- What are the checks for?
- Mostly Seinfeld.
50
00:02:14,386 --> 00:02:16,802
- You were on Seinfeld?
- Yeah, that's right.
51
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,555
Peter, I'm telling you, get
yourself a secret credit card.
52
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,640
- You'll save yourself a lot of stress.
- Thanks, Cleveland.
53
00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:24,831
Ah, this is gonna make my life
so much better.
54
00:02:24,832 --> 00:02:27,146
Like when I used to make
fart balloon animals.
55
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,898
All right. Who's next?
56
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:32,234
- Can you make me a giraffe?
- Comin' right up.
57
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,576
There you go.
58
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,453
Don't pop that. You'll throw up.
59
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,747
Oh, where did you find him?
60
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,249
He found me.
61
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,307
Hey, look who it is.
62
00:02:52,308 --> 00:02:53,923
You need us to pay
for your drinks again?
63
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,133
No way. Guys, you are looking
64
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,552
at the owner of his own credit card.
65
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,262
All right. Good for you, Peter.
66
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,597
You gonna pay us back?
67
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,015
Come on, Joe, I don't interrupt you.
68
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,851
Anyway, they even want me to do
one of Tina Fey's
69
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,729
"look how quirky and busy
I am" credit card commercials.
70
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,314
- Wow, really?
- Yeah.
71
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,274
Oh, wait. I think it's starting.
72
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,944
I hear a piano shuffle
and a clarinet. Taxi!
73
00:03:16,489 --> 00:03:19,365
- Where to?
- Any pet shop that sells snakes.
74
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,325
Somebody puke in here?
75
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,119
Yeah. Last night some guy...
76
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,620
Hey! It's you!
77
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,038
Gotta go.
78
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,890
Hi. Can I help you?
79
00:03:28,891 --> 00:03:30,793
Can I press the button
that moves the clothes?
80
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,255
Sir, that's reserved
for dry cleaners only.
81
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,343
It's like a roller coaster ride
for pants.
82
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,178
- Any calls?
- Your mistress called.
83
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,097
She said she's waiting
at the hotel for you.
84
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,557
Tell her I'll be there as soon as I can.
85
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,560
She said she's pregnant.
86
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,311
Do you know if that Mexican
doctor takes credit cards?
87
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,021
He does.
88
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,900
If you're scummy and on the go,
89
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,528
try the new Visa Gold Card.
90
00:03:57,529 --> 00:04:00,823
It's everywhere you want to be.
91
00:04:05,577 --> 00:04:07,705
Hey, Dad, what do you got there?
92
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,832
Chris, I got us lobsters for dinner.
93
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,083
Cool.
94
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,002
Can... can I kill 'em?
95
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,670
Hmm, let me think.
96
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,839
Of course you can kill 'em, sport.
97
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,342
- Yay!
- Let's boil up some water.
98
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,186
Package for Peter Griffin.
99
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,770
Ah. I didn't order anything.
100
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,106
I-I mean, I could have if I wanted to.
101
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,066
I have a credit card.
102
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,321
All right. Lot of cool people
on this route.
103
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,450
Aah!
104
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,744
Stop! You're hurting him.
105
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,640
No, that's just air escaping.
They can't feel anything.
106
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,878
- Hi. Can I help you?
- Yes. I'd like one of those flashlights
107
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,337
with a vagina in it, please?
108
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,174
Oh, no.
109
00:05:03,175 --> 00:05:04,637
O-Okay, okay, don't panic, everyone.
110
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,389
Oh, he got you, Mom.
111
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:12,144
I'm surprised this thing
still works after the day we had.
112
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,227
- Meaning I had sex with...
- I know.
113
00:05:14,228 --> 00:05:15,351
- We get it.
- Ew.
114
00:05:15,352 --> 00:05:16,565
Five minutes ago,
115
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,028
I had that flashlight
under my chin to look scary.
116
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,908
Peter, are you wearing a costume
117
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,787
from Star Trek VI: The
Undiscovered Country?
118
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,053
Peter, give me the credit card.
119
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,472
How'd you find out?
120
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,433
The UPS guy from earlier?
121
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,144
Sorry, Peter. New rule:
I... I have to report
122
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,314
any adults bragging
about having a credit card.
123
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,567
But... but you said I was cool.
124
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,069
Did you even mean it?
125
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:04,781
Did you even mean it?!
126
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,702
You know what bothers me even more
127
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,704
than all the money
you put on that credit card?
128
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,622
- Bonnie's new car?
- Oh, I know. What, does she think
129
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,124
she's a (BLEEP) teenager?
130
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,543
Wait, no, no.
What's worse is finding out
131
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,295
how much you lie to me.
132
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,796
I found your account online.
133
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,840
Monday night you said
you were working late,
134
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,467
but there's a $62 charge at The Clam.
135
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,846
So whoever stole my card
is still in town.
136
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,993
You just gave me the card, dummy.
137
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:32,349
You said you had to work last weekend,
138
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,018
then you bought a T-shirt that says
139
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,853
"Working weekends... Does not compute"
140
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,521
with Johnny 5 on it.
141
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,064
I wanted to wait, but...
142
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,609
Happy Mother's Day.
143
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,694
You're not gonna weasel
your way out of this.
144
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,662
You want to act like a child, Peter?
145
00:06:45,663 --> 00:06:47,740
Then I'm gonna treat you like a child.
146
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,824
You're grounded.
147
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,159
On whose authority?
148
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,453
General Chang.
149
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,380
Hey, Peter. Lois still mad at you?
150
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,841
Yeah, but she's acting like
everything's fine on Facebook
151
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,594
so she can post pictures of food.
152
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,562
I mean, I've done some stupid stuff,
153
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,272
but she's never grounded me before.
154
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,395
Well, you could just leave
the house if you want.
155
00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:24,536
You are an adult.
156
00:07:24,537 --> 00:07:26,195
Brian, husbands are not adults.
157
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,155
They are people who pay for things
158
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,615
but are still somehow burdens.
159
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,201
Worst part about it,
I'm gonna miss my Sunday shift
160
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,161
at Clappy's Birthday Restaurant.
161
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,122
We heard someone has a birthday.
162
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,624
H.
163
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,380
A.
164
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,385
P.
165
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,306
P.
166
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,061
T.
167
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:02,898
E.
168
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,734
Happy birthday, Charlotte.
169
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,237
Excuse me. My table
is celebrating the birthday
170
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:11,300
of deceased Hawaiian pop singer
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.
171
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,743
Well, that's why we
call it Clappy's. Let's go.
172
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,079
H.
173
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,962
- Hello?
- Peter.
174
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,964
Peter, you're not gonna believe
whose car just broke down
175
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,171
on Spooner Street. Tom Brady!
176
00:08:29,172 --> 00:08:30,926
- What?!
- Yeah. He's throwing passes
177
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,262
to anyone who's able to leave his house.
178
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,310
Ah, he's throwing one to Joe.
179
00:08:35,311 --> 00:08:37,266
Oh, my God,
Joe just stood up for a second.
180
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,600
He put that pass
181
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,602
where only a walking person
could catch it.
182
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,689
That's how good he is...
His pass made me walk!
183
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,190
And here comes Gisele.
184
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,866
She's giving out Tag Heuer watches.
185
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:51,426
Aw. Lois? Can I please go out
and play with Tom Brady?
186
00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:52,448
She's out here.
187
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,659
Tom Brady's taking us all
to see an Anne Hathaway movie.
188
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,494
Oh. Uh...
189
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,539
Oh, no, I'm grounded.
190
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,517
Hey, it's my old wedding Tucks...
191
00:09:08,518 --> 00:09:10,077
Medicated Pads.
192
00:09:10,078 --> 00:09:11,967
Boy, my butt sure was like a match
193
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,136
that needed to be extinguished that day.
194
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,013
Oh, what a day that was.
195
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,930
All the Preparation... H
I used on my fiery ring.
196
00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:21,344
I got to escape.
197
00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:22,541
But how?
198
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,878
Wait a minute, you saw
Shawshank Redemption, Peter.
199
00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:26,564
How did Brooks get out of there?
200
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,487
Aah!
201
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,156
- Hey, possum.
- It's actually o-possum.
202
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,617
O, is it?
203
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,709
What the hell?
204
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,543
Aah. Peter, what are you doing?
205
00:09:47,544 --> 00:09:48,879
I got to get out of here, Brian.
206
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,422
I'm going crazy
sitting around the house.
207
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,982
So you're tunneling out?
208
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:54,218
Lois is gonna be furious
if she finds out.
209
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,887
That's why Lois isn't going to find out.
210
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,347
Right, boy?
211
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,225
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about you...
212
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,727
not being... a bad boy.
213
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,271
I'm-I'm not... I'm not a bad boy.
214
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,524
Then do not say anything to Lois.
215
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,858
You hear me? Bad.
216
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,360
Bad dog.
217
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,187
So, we understand each other?
218
00:10:13,188 --> 00:10:14,780
Yeah, I'll be good. Trust me.
219
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,741
I saw what you did to that black belt.
220
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,869
I don't care what color your belt is,
221
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,038
you're a child
and I am stronger than you.
222
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,374
Oh, boo yourself.
223
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,709
Boo yourself. She was the one
strutting around Pizza Hut
224
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,378
with that trophy.
225
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,756
Yeah, who's the Girls' Regional
Youth Karate Champ now, Kelsey?
226
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,966
Huh?
227
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,302
Kelsey?
228
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,575
All right, down in the tunnel.
229
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,745
Time to way-too-easily make a torch.
230
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,625
Look, our Internet connection.
231
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,085
Mom!
232
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,253
Never mind.
233
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,963
Mom!
234
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,423
Never mind.
235
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,258
Donna!
236
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,427
Bonnie!
237
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,762
I'm not on the Internet.
238
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,182
Some people in this neighborhood read.
239
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,479
Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony.
240
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,149
We laid my Uncle Reggie to rest
with the respect
241
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,942
that he deserved.
242
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,193
Aah! Uncle Reggie!
243
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,446
I'm sorry we stuffed you
in that Hefty Cinch Sak
244
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,864
and pushed you in the pond.
245
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,616
Relax, guys. It's just me.
246
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,701
You dug a hole all the way
from your house?
247
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,119
Pretty cool, huh?
248
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,538
Yeah, but what if Lois
notices you're gone?
249
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,874
Trust me, I got it covered.
250
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:52,170
Peter, there's some salmon
on the stove if you're hungry.
251
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,964
Well, it's what I made.
252
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,633
So, you guys want to see the tunnel?
253
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,155
- Frick yeah.
- Let's go!
254
00:11:59,156 --> 00:12:01,429
- Right behind you.
- How 'bout you, Jerome? You in?
255
00:12:03,454 --> 00:12:05,474
Okay, well, he's busy.
256
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,565
Peter Griffin...
257
00:12:07,566 --> 00:12:09,853
You've been a busy boy.
258
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,147
- What was that?
- Just a cool way to say something.
259
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,815
It wasn't that cool.
260
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,317
All right, it's pretty neat, Peter,
261
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,652
but we should probably get out of here.
262
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,986
Yeah, sure.
263
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,030
Unless anyone wants to see a salamander.
264
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,239
Oh, look at it.
265
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,491
I named him Sally.
266
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,158
Slippy-ass little bug right there.
267
00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:25,661
Okay, this is pretty cool.
268
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,789
Come on, I'll show you the rest.
269
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,583
Look at these handprints.
270
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,710
Somebody did the perfect cartwheel.
271
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,671
Actually, Peter, there's elbow prints
272
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,547
and knee prints all around this thing.
273
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,466
The perfect cartwheel.
274
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,843
And there's scuffled dirt and
a little bit of blood over here.
275
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,513
Perhaps the ancients
cartwheeled everywhere.
276
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,932
Peter, did you trip on a root
and eat it big-time?
277
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,350
No, I did not.
278
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,686
Uh, hang on. There's a guy
tunneling the other way.
279
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,570
Pretty cramped, huh?
280
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,032
You said it.
281
00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,857
Next time, I pay for business class.
282
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,526
Right?
283
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,695
That guy was in the paper
for hitting his wife.
284
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,701
Peter, are you sure this tunnel
is structurally sound?
285
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,495
Don't worry, guys.
I'll cartwheel back for help.
286
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,913
Aah!
287
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,956
A root.
288
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,749
I ate it big-time.
289
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,752
Look out!
290
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,804
Oh, my God.
291
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,056
The tunnel's completely
collapsed on both sides.
292
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,975
Oh, no. We're stuck down here.
293
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,601
Hey, guys.
294
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,515
Hey, look, it's the dumb beaver.
295
00:13:33,516 --> 00:13:35,731
- You live down here?
- Sure do.
296
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,817
Welcome to my running-out-of-Airbnb.
297
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,238
No, but this is very serious.
298
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,246
Great. Peter, this is just great.
299
00:13:53,247 --> 00:13:56,189
Because you can't stand up
to your wife, I'm gonna die.
300
00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,335
Relax, Quagmire. Nobody's gonna die.
301
00:13:58,336 --> 00:14:00,929
What do you think happens
when we run out of air, genius?
302
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:02,584
Air. Right.
303
00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:04,092
You know, I'd only taken
the other three elements
304
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,177
into account.
305
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:08,904
Earth, wind, fire, water.
306
00:14:08,905 --> 00:14:11,433
- Where's air?
- Wind is air.
307
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,145
Who's that, Joey Swanson
or Bill Nye the Science Guy?
308
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,646
Peter, can't you dig us out of here?
309
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,315
No, I left my tools at The Clam.
310
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,983
Uh, what's standard protocol
311
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,443
for when the cops start looking for us?
312
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,944
Uh, I'm not sure.
313
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,447
I just give out stickers
if kids come to the station.
314
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,990
I guess the only chance we have
315
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,100
is if Brian sells me out to Lois.
316
00:14:29,101 --> 00:14:32,287
What I wouldn't give to be
with a woman just one more time.
317
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,998
You can go over to that wall,
make yourself a dirt-gina.
318
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,875
- This wall here?
- No, silly.
319
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,376
That wall's a guy.
320
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,343
We now return to Planet Earth,
321
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,887
with its original narrator,
who was let go.
322
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,290
The Earth's oceans are very,
323
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,266
uh... vast?
324
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,852
And, uh, a lot of fish. Yeah.
325
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,145
Couple of whales.
326
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,647
Some flora and fauna.
327
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:02,234
Both down there in the,
uh, uncharted depths?
328
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,071
Wow, what are those? Sharks?
329
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,659
We've, uh, probably got
a commercial break coming up.
330
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,744
Uh... Oh. Oh, really?
331
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,621
Four hours, no commercials?
332
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,249
Wow, is that right?
333
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,626
Some penguins over there.
334
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,628
Brian, have you seen Peter?
335
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,595
N-No. Why?
336
00:15:23,596 --> 00:15:25,570
Well, I haven't seen him all morning.
337
00:15:25,571 --> 00:15:28,260
I'm worried he left the house
and got into some kind of trouble.
338
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,846
He'll turn up. I'm sure he's fine.
339
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,347
Phew.
340
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,189
Somethin' on your mind there, bud?
341
00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:37,007
- I'm not a bad boy.
- Uh, nobody said you were.
342
00:15:37,008 --> 00:15:39,437
Good. Because I'm not a bad boy.
I'm a good boy.
343
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,107
How would you like to be
a very good boy?
344
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,169
- Tell me how. Tell me how.
- Where's the fat man?
345
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:46,714
- Aw, damn it.
- But I promised Peter.
346
00:15:46,715 --> 00:15:48,196
What is it? What is it, boy?
347
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,201
The fat man dug a tunnel to go hang out
348
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,703
with Cleveland, Joe and Quagmire?
349
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,204
We've got to tell someone.
350
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,372
What is it, Stewie?
351
00:15:59,978 --> 00:16:01,710
Daddy went to a Peter Cetera concert
352
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,171
in Cleveland with Robin Tunney?
353
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,922
Robin Tunney from The Mentalist slept
354
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,259
with the entire Cleveland Browns team?
355
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:12,637
Bad Moms 1 and 2 are available
on most streaming platforms?
356
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,222
Don't-don't do that, Mila.
357
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,225
Not-not on this show.
358
00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:20,812
Good afternoon. I'm Tom Tucker,
here with a story
359
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,507
that's "anchor out
of the studio" important.
360
00:16:23,508 --> 00:16:25,817
Rescue attempts are underway
to free four men
361
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,498
who have been trapped
in an underground tunnel.
362
00:16:28,499 --> 00:16:31,181
One of the men
is Quahog's own Peter Griffin.
363
00:16:31,182 --> 00:16:33,857
Channel 5 reached out
to his family for comment.
364
00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:35,243
Here's what they had to say.
365
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,240
I'm about to take my laptop
into the bathroom.
366
00:16:38,241 --> 00:16:40,457
I ask that you please respect my privacy
367
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,974
in this difficult time.
368
00:16:41,975 --> 00:16:43,085
Thank you.
369
00:16:44,227 --> 00:16:46,213
Anyone else having trouble breathing?
370
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,505
Could just be allergies.
371
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,238
Yeah. Yeah, you think it's allergies?
372
00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:51,009
You don't think it's because
we're running out of air?
373
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,260
It's hard to say.
374
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,179
I don't know
how severe your allergies are.
375
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,680
- Different people are allergic...
- You are such a moron.
376
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,682
- You know, I hope we do die down here.
- Oh, that's nice.
377
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,351
- So I never have to listen...
- That's a nice thing
378
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,518
to say to a lifelong friend.
379
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,020
Ah. Ah.
380
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,271
I'm gonna kill you, Peter!
381
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,940
All right, calm down.
382
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,526
Let's not use the rest of
our oxygen to kill each other.
383
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,677
So if we're all gonna die anyway,
384
00:17:10,678 --> 00:17:13,057
what's the worst thing
you guys have ever done?
385
00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:15,659
Okay, I'll go first.
386
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,952
Lois...
387
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,636
once killed a woman.
388
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,163
Seems like a secret about Lois.
389
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,624
Yeah. But I picked out the woman.
390
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:26,127
Well, I, uh... I, uh, went
to a Coldplay concert by myself.
391
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,712
What? That's terrible.
392
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,937
- Why would you do that?
- I like Coldplay!
393
00:17:29,938 --> 00:17:31,800
They were playing in Boston,
so I made the trip.
394
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,177
Great show, I got to say. Very visual.
395
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,471
It was visual. I was at that show, too.
396
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,348
What? You were there?
397
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,724
No, I'm just kidding.
398
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,019
Uh, I like Lil Yachty, man.
399
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,813
I don't know nothin' about that mess.
400
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,398
But I did go to that show.
401
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,732
Didn't mean to.
402
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,484
I said "Kid 'n Play" on the phone,
403
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,237
but they didn't understand me,
so I got Coldplay.
404
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,698
One other time I said "Kid 'n Play"
405
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,160
and I got Cirque du Soleil.
406
00:17:57,161 --> 00:18:01,038
I'm thinking maybe Kid 'n Play
doesn't perform anymore.
407
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,250
What's that sound?
408
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,085
Probably just the movie
in the next theater.
409
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,755
I hope the rest of the tunnel
isn't about to collapse.
410
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,408
Hello? This is the Quahog
Emergency Rescue Team.
411
00:18:16,409 --> 00:18:17,993
We're gonna get you out of there.
412
00:18:17,994 --> 00:18:19,222
- Oh, fresh air!
- Oh, my God!
413
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,557
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, we're saved!
414
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,965
So, uh, full disclosure,
415
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:25,353
the last time I did this,
the guy got torn in half.
416
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,239
Probably won't happen again,
but they want me to say it.
417
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,434
We're saved.
418
00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:31,798
- Probably saved.
- I told them.
419
00:18:31,799 --> 00:18:32,906
All right, whatever we do,
420
00:18:32,907 --> 00:18:34,779
we're not gonna talk
about kissing practice.
421
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,946
- Totally. - No way.
- Oh, no, I wouldn't.
422
00:18:36,947 --> 00:18:38,487
You guys ready to come up?
423
00:18:38,488 --> 00:18:41,286
We've been doing kissing
practice and I'm the best at it.
424
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,150
Yay. The cop.
425
00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:56,426
Okay.
426
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,058
Stop. Stop. I'm stuck.
427
00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:02,199
You're slightly too big for the hole.
428
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,976
Can you take off your shirt
and come up in just pants?
429
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,274
Is Rebecca the cashier
from Rite Aid there?
430
00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:09,499
She is.
431
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,316
Can you have her turn around?
432
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,056
Gross.
433
00:19:16,057 --> 00:19:17,489
Oh, that's not Rebecca. That's Gretchen.
434
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,573
That's fine.
435
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,241
Peter?
436
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,494
- Oh, Lois.
- ♪ I just want ♪
437
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,121
♪ To be the one you run to ♪
438
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,791
♪ I just want to be the one
you come to ♪
439
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,459
♪ I just want... ♪
440
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,003
What the hell were you thinking?!
441
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,005
Peter, the whole reason
you were grounded
442
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,924
was because you were lying to me.
443
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,635
And then you lied to me
about the tunnel.
444
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,429
Look, I-I'm sorry I lied to you.
445
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,848
I'm sorry I lied about the credit card.
446
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,494
And I'm sorry I lied about the tunnel.
447
00:19:46,495 --> 00:19:48,242
I know I was acting stupid,
448
00:19:48,243 --> 00:19:49,896
and I deserved to be grounded.
449
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,837
Peter, I don't want
to have to ground you.
450
00:19:52,838 --> 00:19:53,842
You're my husband.
451
00:19:53,843 --> 00:19:56,319
I just don't want you to lie to me.
452
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,756
I lie to you
'cause you treat me like a kid.
453
00:19:58,757 --> 00:20:01,324
Act like a man and I'll
stop treating you like a kid.
454
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,538
Look like a kid,
I'll start acting like a man.
455
00:20:03,539 --> 00:20:04,661
- What?
- I'm sorry, Lois.
456
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,329
That's just the tunnel talkin'.
457
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,415
So, Chris, you happy
to have your dad back?
458
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,625
Yeah, you know what, Tom,
I think we're all gonna go home
459
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,539
and charge our laptops
a little longer tonight.
460
00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,296
You just never know when
you're gonna run out of juice
461
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,186
and have to use your phone.
462
00:20:17,187 --> 00:20:19,384
You know, just because we're reporters
463
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,066
doesn't mean we're devoid of emotion.
464
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:24,187
Go on and head home with your family.
465
00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:25,306
Thanks, Tom.
466
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,475
That's a...
467
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,729
that's a very horny kid right there.
468
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,862
Oh, it's so beautiful here.
469
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,156
Nothing but the best
for my beautiful bride
470
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,407
on her honeymoon.
471
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,325
I'm sorry, sir, the chef said
472
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,923
he can't make
a chocolate chip gumball pizza.
473
00:20:46,924 --> 00:20:49,007
Oh, that's okay. It's not your fault.
474
00:20:49,008 --> 00:20:51,332
I'll just need another minute then.
475
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,835
Her.
476
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,503
I'm on it.
477
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,505
I love you so much.
478
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,592
Mwah.