1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,921 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:08,174 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,928 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,847 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,142 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,604 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,024 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,155 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy. ♪ 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,909 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 11 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:37,245 We now return to A Quiet Place, 12 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,997 starring a Jewish family. 13 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,171 I'm finally all caught up on New Girl, 14 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,007 if you guys want to talk about that. 15 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,475 I don't think they're going for it. 16 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,727 Wait. 17 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,065 I kind of like that Schmidt. 18 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,317 You kind of like that Schmidt. 19 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,403 All right, fellas, I got to get going. 20 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,571 Aw, come on. I want to get one more beer. 21 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,407 Again! Again, again! 22 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,492 Sorry, Peter, I got to work early in the morning. 23 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,202 Yeah, I'm out, too. 24 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,495 Aw, crap, I don't have any cash. 25 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,582 Hey, can one of you guys spot me? 26 00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:23,499 - Just put it on your card. - I can't. 27 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,918 Lois'll see the charge. She thinks I'm still at work. 28 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:26,919 Wa-peesh. 29 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,337 Wha-What is that? What do you mean? 30 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,922 What do you mean, like "Wha-pshh"? 31 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,425 - Like that? Like a whip sound? - Yeah. How did I do it? 32 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,884 Very incorrectly. 33 00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,428 You don't have your own card, 34 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,013 one that Lois doesn't know about? 35 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,514 No. Lois would kill me. 36 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,933 Ooh, what?-what?-what?-peesh. 37 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,060 Indiana James? 38 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,521 Anyone? 39 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:52,385 456 Maple Drive, Suite 305. 40 00:01:52,386 --> 00:01:54,231 The "suite" is just a mailbox. 41 00:01:54,232 --> 00:01:56,532 This is where I get all my credit card bills sent to 42 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,160 and any other mail Donna would be mad about. 43 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,203 - Like what? - Knives with gemstones, 44 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,955 fat-butt magazines, 45 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,786 whatever you think Ice-T would keep in a nightstand. 46 00:02:05,787 --> 00:02:07,962 But really it's for the credit card bills. 47 00:02:07,963 --> 00:02:09,711 I get some of my stuff here, too. 48 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:12,251 Bills, catheters, residual checks. 49 00:02:12,252 --> 00:02:14,385 - What are the checks for? - Mostly Seinfeld. 50 00:02:14,386 --> 00:02:16,802 - You were on Seinfeld? - Yeah, that's right. 51 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,555 Peter, I'm telling you, get yourself a secret credit card. 52 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,640 - You'll save yourself a lot of stress. - Thanks, Cleveland. 53 00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:24,831 Ah, this is gonna make my life so much better. 54 00:02:24,832 --> 00:02:27,146 Like when I used to make fart balloon animals. 55 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,898 All right. Who's next? 56 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:32,234 - Can you make me a giraffe? - Comin' right up. 57 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,576 There you go. 58 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,453 Don't pop that. You'll throw up. 59 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,747 Oh, where did you find him? 60 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,249 He found me. 61 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,307 Hey, look who it is. 62 00:02:52,308 --> 00:02:53,923 You need us to pay for your drinks again? 63 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,133 No way. Guys, you are looking 64 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,552 at the owner of his own credit card. 65 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,262 All right. Good for you, Peter. 66 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,597 You gonna pay us back? 67 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,015 Come on, Joe, I don't interrupt you. 68 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,851 Anyway, they even want me to do one of Tina Fey's 69 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,729 "look how quirky and busy I am" credit card commercials. 70 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,314 - Wow, really? - Yeah. 71 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,274 Oh, wait. I think it's starting. 72 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,944 I hear a piano shuffle and a clarinet. Taxi! 73 00:03:16,489 --> 00:03:19,365 - Where to? - Any pet shop that sells snakes. 74 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,325 Somebody puke in here? 75 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,119 Yeah. Last night some guy... 76 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,620 Hey! It's you! 77 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,038 Gotta go. 78 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,890 Hi. Can I help you? 79 00:03:28,891 --> 00:03:30,793 Can I press the button that moves the clothes? 80 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,255 Sir, that's reserved for dry cleaners only. 81 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,343 It's like a roller coaster ride for pants. 82 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,178 - Any calls? - Your mistress called. 83 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,097 She said she's waiting at the hotel for you. 84 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,557 Tell her I'll be there as soon as I can. 85 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,560 She said she's pregnant. 86 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,311 Do you know if that Mexican doctor takes credit cards? 87 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,021 He does. 88 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,900 If you're scummy and on the go, 89 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,528 try the new Visa Gold Card. 90 00:03:57,529 --> 00:04:00,823 It's everywhere you want to be. 91 00:04:05,577 --> 00:04:07,705 Hey, Dad, what do you got there? 92 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,832 Chris, I got us lobsters for dinner. 93 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,083 Cool. 94 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,002 Can... can I kill 'em? 95 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,670 Hmm, let me think. 96 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,839 Of course you can kill 'em, sport. 97 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,342 - Yay! - Let's boil up some water. 98 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,186 Package for Peter Griffin. 99 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,770 Ah. I didn't order anything. 100 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,106 I-I mean, I could have if I wanted to. 101 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,066 I have a credit card. 102 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,321 All right. Lot of cool people on this route. 103 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,450 Aah! 104 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,744 Stop! You're hurting him. 105 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,640 No, that's just air escaping. They can't feel anything. 106 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,878 - Hi. Can I help you? - Yes. I'd like one of those flashlights 107 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,337 with a vagina in it, please? 108 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,174 Oh, no. 109 00:05:03,175 --> 00:05:04,637 O-Okay, okay, don't panic, everyone. 110 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,389 Oh, he got you, Mom. 111 00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:12,144 I'm surprised this thing still works after the day we had. 112 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,227 - Meaning I had sex with... - I know. 113 00:05:14,228 --> 00:05:15,351 - We get it. - Ew. 114 00:05:15,352 --> 00:05:16,565 Five minutes ago, 115 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,028 I had that flashlight under my chin to look scary. 116 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,908 Peter, are you wearing a costume 117 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,787 from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country? 118 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,053 Peter, give me the credit card. 119 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,472 How'd you find out? 120 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,433 The UPS guy from earlier? 121 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,144 Sorry, Peter. New rule: I... I have to report 122 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,314 any adults bragging about having a credit card. 123 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,567 But... but you said I was cool. 124 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,069 Did you even mean it? 125 00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:04,781 Did you even mean it?! 126 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,702 You know what bothers me even more 127 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,704 than all the money you put on that credit card? 128 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,622 - Bonnie's new car? - Oh, I know. What, does she think 129 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,124 she's a (BLEEP) teenager? 130 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,543 Wait, no, no. What's worse is finding out 131 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,295 how much you lie to me. 132 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,796 I found your account online. 133 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,840 Monday night you said you were working late, 134 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,467 but there's a $62 charge at The Clam. 135 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,846 So whoever stole my card is still in town. 136 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,993 You just gave me the card, dummy. 137 00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:32,349 You said you had to work last weekend, 138 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,018 then you bought a T-shirt that says 139 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,853 "Working weekends... Does not compute" 140 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,521 with Johnny 5 on it. 141 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,064 I wanted to wait, but... 142 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,609 Happy Mother's Day. 143 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,694 You're not gonna weasel your way out of this. 144 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,662 You want to act like a child, Peter? 145 00:06:45,663 --> 00:06:47,740 Then I'm gonna treat you like a child. 146 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,824 You're grounded. 147 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,159 On whose authority? 148 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,453 General Chang. 149 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,380 Hey, Peter. Lois still mad at you? 150 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,841 Yeah, but she's acting like everything's fine on Facebook 151 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,594 so she can post pictures of food. 152 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,562 I mean, I've done some stupid stuff, 153 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,272 but she's never grounded me before. 154 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,395 Well, you could just leave the house if you want. 155 00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:24,536 You are an adult. 156 00:07:24,537 --> 00:07:26,195 Brian, husbands are not adults. 157 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,155 They are people who pay for things 158 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,615 but are still somehow burdens. 159 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,201 Worst part about it, I'm gonna miss my Sunday shift 160 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,161 at Clappy's Birthday Restaurant. 161 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,122 We heard someone has a birthday. 162 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,624 H. 163 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,380 A. 164 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,385 P. 165 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,306 P. 166 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,061 T. 167 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:02,898 E. 168 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,734 Happy birthday, Charlotte. 169 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,237 Excuse me. My table is celebrating the birthday 170 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:11,300 of deceased Hawaiian pop singer Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. 171 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,743 Well, that's why we call it Clappy's. Let's go. 172 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,079 H. 173 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,962 - Hello? - Peter. 174 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,964 Peter, you're not gonna believe whose car just broke down 175 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,171 on Spooner Street. Tom Brady! 176 00:08:29,172 --> 00:08:30,926 - What?! - Yeah. He's throwing passes 177 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,262 to anyone who's able to leave his house. 178 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,310 Ah, he's throwing one to Joe. 179 00:08:35,311 --> 00:08:37,266 Oh, my God, Joe just stood up for a second. 180 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,600 He put that pass 181 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,602 where only a walking person could catch it. 182 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,689 That's how good he is... His pass made me walk! 183 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,190 And here comes Gisele. 184 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,866 She's giving out Tag Heuer watches. 185 00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:51,426 Aw. Lois? Can I please go out and play with Tom Brady? 186 00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:52,448 She's out here. 187 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,659 Tom Brady's taking us all to see an Anne Hathaway movie. 188 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,494 Oh. Uh... 189 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,539 Oh, no, I'm grounded. 190 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,517 Hey, it's my old wedding Tucks... 191 00:09:08,518 --> 00:09:10,077 Medicated Pads. 192 00:09:10,078 --> 00:09:11,967 Boy, my butt sure was like a match 193 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,136 that needed to be extinguished that day. 194 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,013 Oh, what a day that was. 195 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,930 All the Preparation... H I used on my fiery ring. 196 00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:21,344 I got to escape. 197 00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:22,541 But how? 198 00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,878 Wait a minute, you saw Shawshank Redemption, Peter. 199 00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:26,564 How did Brooks get out of there? 200 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,487 Aah! 201 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,156 - Hey, possum. - It's actually o-possum. 202 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,617 O, is it? 203 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,709 What the hell? 204 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,543 Aah. Peter, what are you doing? 205 00:09:47,544 --> 00:09:48,879 I got to get out of here, Brian. 206 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,422 I'm going crazy sitting around the house. 207 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,982 So you're tunneling out? 208 00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:54,218 Lois is gonna be furious if she finds out. 209 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,887 That's why Lois isn't going to find out. 210 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,347 Right, boy? 211 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,225 - What are you talking about? - I'm talking about you... 212 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,727 not being... a bad boy. 213 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,271 I'm-I'm not... I'm not a bad boy. 214 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,524 Then do not say anything to Lois. 215 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,858 You hear me? Bad. 216 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,360 Bad dog. 217 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,187 So, we understand each other? 218 00:10:13,188 --> 00:10:14,780 Yeah, I'll be good. Trust me. 219 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,741 I saw what you did to that black belt. 220 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,869 I don't care what color your belt is, 221 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,038 you're a child and I am stronger than you. 222 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,374 Oh, boo yourself. 223 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,709 Boo yourself. She was the one strutting around Pizza Hut 224 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,378 with that trophy. 225 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,756 Yeah, who's the Girls' Regional Youth Karate Champ now, Kelsey? 226 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,966 Huh? 227 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,302 Kelsey? 228 00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,575 All right, down in the tunnel. 229 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,745 Time to way-too-easily make a torch. 230 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,625 Look, our Internet connection. 231 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,085 Mom! 232 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,253 Never mind. 233 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,963 Mom! 234 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,423 Never mind. 235 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,258 Donna! 236 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,427 Bonnie! 237 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,762 I'm not on the Internet. 238 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,182 Some people in this neighborhood read. 239 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,479 Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony. 240 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,149 We laid my Uncle Reggie to rest with the respect 241 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,942 that he deserved. 242 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,193 Aah! Uncle Reggie! 243 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,446 I'm sorry we stuffed you in that Hefty Cinch Sak 244 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,864 and pushed you in the pond. 245 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,616 Relax, guys. It's just me. 246 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,701 You dug a hole all the way from your house? 247 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,119 Pretty cool, huh? 248 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,538 Yeah, but what if Lois notices you're gone? 249 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,874 Trust me, I got it covered. 250 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:52,170 Peter, there's some salmon on the stove if you're hungry. 251 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,964 Well, it's what I made. 252 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,633 So, you guys want to see the tunnel? 253 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,155 - Frick yeah. - Let's go! 254 00:11:59,156 --> 00:12:01,429 - Right behind you. - How 'bout you, Jerome? You in? 255 00:12:03,454 --> 00:12:05,474 Okay, well, he's busy. 256 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,565 Peter Griffin... 257 00:12:07,566 --> 00:12:09,853 You've been a busy boy. 258 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,147 - What was that? - Just a cool way to say something. 259 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,815 It wasn't that cool. 260 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,317 All right, it's pretty neat, Peter, 261 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,652 but we should probably get out of here. 262 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,986 Yeah, sure. 263 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,030 Unless anyone wants to see a salamander. 264 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,239 Oh, look at it. 265 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,491 I named him Sally. 266 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,158 Slippy-ass little bug right there. 267 00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:25,661 Okay, this is pretty cool. 268 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,789 Come on, I'll show you the rest. 269 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,583 Look at these handprints. 270 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,710 Somebody did the perfect cartwheel. 271 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,671 Actually, Peter, there's elbow prints 272 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,547 and knee prints all around this thing. 273 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,466 The perfect cartwheel. 274 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,843 And there's scuffled dirt and a little bit of blood over here. 275 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,513 Perhaps the ancients cartwheeled everywhere. 276 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,932 Peter, did you trip on a root and eat it big-time? 277 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,350 No, I did not. 278 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,686 Uh, hang on. There's a guy tunneling the other way. 279 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,570 Pretty cramped, huh? 280 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,032 You said it. 281 00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,857 Next time, I pay for business class. 282 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,526 Right? 283 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,695 That guy was in the paper for hitting his wife. 284 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,701 Peter, are you sure this tunnel is structurally sound? 285 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,495 Don't worry, guys. I'll cartwheel back for help. 286 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,913 Aah! 287 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,956 A root. 288 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,749 I ate it big-time. 289 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,752 Look out! 290 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,804 Oh, my God. 291 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,056 The tunnel's completely collapsed on both sides. 292 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,975 Oh, no. We're stuck down here. 293 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,601 Hey, guys. 294 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,515 Hey, look, it's the dumb beaver. 295 00:13:33,516 --> 00:13:35,731 - You live down here? - Sure do. 296 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,817 Welcome to my running-out-of-Airbnb. 297 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,238 No, but this is very serious. 298 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,246 Great. Peter, this is just great. 299 00:13:53,247 --> 00:13:56,189 Because you can't stand up to your wife, I'm gonna die. 300 00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,335 Relax, Quagmire. Nobody's gonna die. 301 00:13:58,336 --> 00:14:00,929 What do you think happens when we run out of air, genius? 302 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:02,584 Air. Right. 303 00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:04,092 You know, I'd only taken the other three elements 304 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,177 into account. 305 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:08,904 Earth, wind, fire, water. 306 00:14:08,905 --> 00:14:11,433 - Where's air? - Wind is air. 307 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,145 Who's that, Joey Swanson or Bill Nye the Science Guy? 308 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,646 Peter, can't you dig us out of here? 309 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,315 No, I left my tools at The Clam. 310 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,983 Uh, what's standard protocol 311 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,443 for when the cops start looking for us? 312 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,944 Uh, I'm not sure. 313 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,447 I just give out stickers if kids come to the station. 314 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,990 I guess the only chance we have 315 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,100 is if Brian sells me out to Lois. 316 00:14:29,101 --> 00:14:32,287 What I wouldn't give to be with a woman just one more time. 317 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,998 You can go over to that wall, make yourself a dirt-gina. 318 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,875 - This wall here? - No, silly. 319 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,376 That wall's a guy. 320 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,343 We now return to Planet Earth, 321 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,887 with its original narrator, who was let go. 322 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,290 The Earth's oceans are very, 323 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,266 uh... vast? 324 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,852 And, uh, a lot of fish. Yeah. 325 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,145 Couple of whales. 326 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,647 Some flora and fauna. 327 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:02,234 Both down there in the, uh, uncharted depths? 328 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,071 Wow, what are those? Sharks? 329 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,659 We've, uh, probably got a commercial break coming up. 330 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,744 Uh... Oh. Oh, really? 331 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,621 Four hours, no commercials? 332 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,249 Wow, is that right? 333 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,626 Some penguins over there. 334 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,628 Brian, have you seen Peter? 335 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,595 N-No. Why? 336 00:15:23,596 --> 00:15:25,570 Well, I haven't seen him all morning. 337 00:15:25,571 --> 00:15:28,260 I'm worried he left the house and got into some kind of trouble. 338 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,846 He'll turn up. I'm sure he's fine. 339 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,347 Phew. 340 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,189 Somethin' on your mind there, bud? 341 00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:37,007 - I'm not a bad boy. - Uh, nobody said you were. 342 00:15:37,008 --> 00:15:39,437 Good. Because I'm not a bad boy. I'm a good boy. 343 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,107 How would you like to be a very good boy? 344 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,169 - Tell me how. Tell me how. - Where's the fat man? 345 00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:46,714 - Aw, damn it. - But I promised Peter. 346 00:15:46,715 --> 00:15:48,196 What is it? What is it, boy? 347 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,201 The fat man dug a tunnel to go hang out 348 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,703 with Cleveland, Joe and Quagmire? 349 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,204 We've got to tell someone. 350 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,372 What is it, Stewie? 351 00:15:59,978 --> 00:16:01,710 Daddy went to a Peter Cetera concert 352 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,171 in Cleveland with Robin Tunney? 353 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,922 Robin Tunney from The Mentalist slept 354 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,259 with the entire Cleveland Browns team? 355 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:12,637 Bad Moms 1 and 2 are available on most streaming platforms? 356 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,222 Don't-don't do that, Mila. 357 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,225 Not-not on this show. 358 00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:20,812 Good afternoon. I'm Tom Tucker, here with a story 359 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,507 that's "anchor out of the studio" important. 360 00:16:23,508 --> 00:16:25,817 Rescue attempts are underway to free four men 361 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,498 who have been trapped in an underground tunnel. 362 00:16:28,499 --> 00:16:31,181 One of the men is Quahog's own Peter Griffin. 363 00:16:31,182 --> 00:16:33,857 Channel 5 reached out to his family for comment. 364 00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:35,243 Here's what they had to say. 365 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,240 I'm about to take my laptop into the bathroom. 366 00:16:38,241 --> 00:16:40,457 I ask that you please respect my privacy 367 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,974 in this difficult time. 368 00:16:41,975 --> 00:16:43,085 Thank you. 369 00:16:44,227 --> 00:16:46,213 Anyone else having trouble breathing? 370 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,505 Could just be allergies. 371 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,238 Yeah. Yeah, you think it's allergies? 372 00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:51,009 You don't think it's because we're running out of air? 373 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,260 It's hard to say. 374 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,179 I don't know how severe your allergies are. 375 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,680 - Different people are allergic... - You are such a moron. 376 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,682 - You know, I hope we do die down here. - Oh, that's nice. 377 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,351 - So I never have to listen... - That's a nice thing 378 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,518 to say to a lifelong friend. 379 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,020 Ah. Ah. 380 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,271 I'm gonna kill you, Peter! 381 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,940 All right, calm down. 382 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,526 Let's not use the rest of our oxygen to kill each other. 383 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,677 So if we're all gonna die anyway, 384 00:17:10,678 --> 00:17:13,057 what's the worst thing you guys have ever done? 385 00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:15,659 Okay, I'll go first. 386 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,952 Lois... 387 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,636 once killed a woman. 388 00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,163 Seems like a secret about Lois. 389 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,624 Yeah. But I picked out the woman. 390 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:26,127 Well, I, uh... I, uh, went to a Coldplay concert by myself. 391 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,712 What? That's terrible. 392 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,937 - Why would you do that? - I like Coldplay! 393 00:17:29,938 --> 00:17:31,800 They were playing in Boston, so I made the trip. 394 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,177 Great show, I got to say. Very visual. 395 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,471 It was visual. I was at that show, too. 396 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,348 What? You were there? 397 00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,724 No, I'm just kidding. 398 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,019 Uh, I like Lil Yachty, man. 399 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,813 I don't know nothin' about that mess. 400 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,398 But I did go to that show. 401 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,732 Didn't mean to. 402 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,484 I said "Kid 'n Play" on the phone, 403 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,237 but they didn't understand me, so I got Coldplay. 404 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,698 One other time I said "Kid 'n Play" 405 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,160 and I got Cirque du Soleil. 406 00:17:57,161 --> 00:18:01,038 I'm thinking maybe Kid 'n Play doesn't perform anymore. 407 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,250 What's that sound? 408 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,085 Probably just the movie in the next theater. 409 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,755 I hope the rest of the tunnel isn't about to collapse. 410 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,408 Hello? This is the Quahog Emergency Rescue Team. 411 00:18:16,409 --> 00:18:17,993 We're gonna get you out of there. 412 00:18:17,994 --> 00:18:19,222 - Oh, fresh air! - Oh, my God! 413 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,557 - Oh, my God! - Oh, we're saved! 414 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,965 So, uh, full disclosure, 415 00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:25,353 the last time I did this, the guy got torn in half. 416 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,239 Probably won't happen again, but they want me to say it. 417 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,434 We're saved. 418 00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:31,798 - Probably saved. - I told them. 419 00:18:31,799 --> 00:18:32,906 All right, whatever we do, 420 00:18:32,907 --> 00:18:34,779 we're not gonna talk about kissing practice. 421 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,946 - Totally. - No way. - Oh, no, I wouldn't. 422 00:18:36,947 --> 00:18:38,487 You guys ready to come up? 423 00:18:38,488 --> 00:18:41,286 We've been doing kissing practice and I'm the best at it. 424 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,150 Yay. The cop. 425 00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:56,426 Okay. 426 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,058 Stop. Stop. I'm stuck. 427 00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:02,199 You're slightly too big for the hole. 428 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,976 Can you take off your shirt and come up in just pants? 429 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,274 Is Rebecca the cashier from Rite Aid there? 430 00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:09,499 She is. 431 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,316 Can you have her turn around? 432 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,056 Gross. 433 00:19:16,057 --> 00:19:17,489 Oh, that's not Rebecca. That's Gretchen. 434 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,573 That's fine. 435 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,241 Peter? 436 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,494 - Oh, Lois. - ♪ I just want ♪ 437 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,121 ♪ To be the one you run to ♪ 438 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,791 ♪ I just want to be the one you come to ♪ 439 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,459 ♪ I just want... ♪ 440 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,003 What the hell were you thinking?! 441 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,005 Peter, the whole reason you were grounded 442 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,924 was because you were lying to me. 443 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,635 And then you lied to me about the tunnel. 444 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,429 Look, I-I'm sorry I lied to you. 445 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,848 I'm sorry I lied about the credit card. 446 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,494 And I'm sorry I lied about the tunnel. 447 00:19:46,495 --> 00:19:48,242 I know I was acting stupid, 448 00:19:48,243 --> 00:19:49,896 and I deserved to be grounded. 449 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,837 Peter, I don't want to have to ground you. 450 00:19:52,838 --> 00:19:53,842 You're my husband. 451 00:19:53,843 --> 00:19:56,319 I just don't want you to lie to me. 452 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,756 I lie to you 'cause you treat me like a kid. 453 00:19:58,757 --> 00:20:01,324 Act like a man and I'll stop treating you like a kid. 454 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,538 Look like a kid, I'll start acting like a man. 455 00:20:03,539 --> 00:20:04,661 - What? - I'm sorry, Lois. 456 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,329 That's just the tunnel talkin'. 457 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,415 So, Chris, you happy to have your dad back? 458 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,625 Yeah, you know what, Tom, I think we're all gonna go home 459 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,539 and charge our laptops a little longer tonight. 460 00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,296 You just never know when you're gonna run out of juice 461 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,186 and have to use your phone. 462 00:20:17,187 --> 00:20:19,384 You know, just because we're reporters 463 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,066 doesn't mean we're devoid of emotion. 464 00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:24,187 Go on and head home with your family. 465 00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:25,306 Thanks, Tom. 466 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,475 That's a... 467 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,729 that's a very horny kid right there. 468 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,862 Oh, it's so beautiful here. 469 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,156 Nothing but the best for my beautiful bride 470 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,407 on her honeymoon. 471 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,325 I'm sorry, sir, the chef said 472 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,923 he can't make a chocolate chip gumball pizza. 473 00:20:46,924 --> 00:20:49,007 Oh, that's okay. It's not your fault. 474 00:20:49,008 --> 00:20:51,332 I'll just need another minute then. 475 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,835 Her. 476 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,503 I'm on it. 477 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,505 I love you so much. 478 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,592 Mwah.