1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,805 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,042 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:11,712 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,482 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,985 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,522 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,057 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,492 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:30,030 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,505 Ugh! This sucks, Mom. 11 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,373 We really have to spend the whole day 12 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,574 cleaning out the garage? 13 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,042 Yeah, come on, Lois. 14 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,845 You know I have plans today to go see Pervert Hamlet. 15 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:45,879 To be... 16 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:48,015 with this skull sexually, 17 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,017 or not to be... 18 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,052 with this skull sexually. 19 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,355 That is the question... 20 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:58,025 I answered when I was with this skull sexually 21 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,394 a little while ago. 22 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,598 Huh. All these spray paint cans are empty. 23 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,867 What? Really? 24 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,902 (laughing): H-How could such a thing 25 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,938 have come to pass? 26 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,908 Screw this. Quick, before your mother gets back, 27 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,210 everything in the garbage. 28 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,745 We're throwing all this stuff out. 29 00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:25,253 Wait. You're throwing away Stewie's Big Wheel? 30 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,920 Relax. It's not even his. 31 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:29,457 I took it from a front lawn after a rain storm. 32 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,227 (can rattling) 33 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:36,964 I thought they'd never leave, Factory Red. 34 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,270 So, I guess Thanos got the Mind Stone. 35 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,138 Wow. So now he's got all of 'em. 36 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,240 -I guess so. -What does that mean for us? 37 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,276 I have no idea. 38 00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,444 I knew it was gonna be us. 39 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,483 Oh, my God. There's a hot woman over at the bar. 40 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,118 You know, I never forget the back of a head. 41 00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:00,821 I don't think we've met. I'm Glenn Quagmire. 42 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,756 I'm sure that kind of thing works great 43 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,293 for the younger crowd, but I'm 44. 44 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,761 44? Oh-ho, why am I trying so hard? 45 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,430 Come on, let's get out of here. 46 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,700 Look, I'm not some bimbo who falls for tired pickup lines. 47 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:15,936 Wow. That was painful. 48 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,939 Like that time I passed a kidney Stone Phillips. 49 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,441 (groaning): Oh! 50 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,109 Aah! Aah! 51 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,311 (splashing) 52 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,979 KIDNEY STONE PHILLIPS: Or was it... murder? 53 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,285 -Hey, Doug. -Hey, Stewie. 54 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,187 Taking the Big Wheel out for a spin? 55 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,455 Yep. Where are you headed? 56 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,624 Oh, I was just gonna drive through some puddles 57 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,326 and see how long my tracks stay wet. 58 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:41,295 The record is seven sidewalk squares, by yours truly. 59 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,963 (laughing): Allegedly. 60 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,998 (laughing): Okay, get out of here, you nut. 61 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,404 What the deuce? Where is it? 62 00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:01,215 (sighs) Boy, I tell ya, no better way to start your day 63 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,217 than a morning dump in a neighbor's yard. 64 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:04,718 QUAGMIRE: Come on, Brian! 65 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,888 It was a soft steamer, almost impossible to pick up. 66 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,823 Brian, have you seen my Big Wheel? 67 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,225 I can't find it anywhere! 68 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,526 What? No. Did you look...? 69 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,894 Oh, wait a minute. 70 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,996 Peter threw out a bunch of stuff from the garage yesterday. 71 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,498 Maybe it was in there. 72 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:21,201 Threw it out? But today is our trash pick up day! 73 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,204 (gasps) We're too late! 74 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,073 I've got to get that Big Wheel back. 75 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,908 Will you drive me to the town dump? 76 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,578 Really? Can't we just maybe buy you a new one? 77 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,413 No, Brian. It has to be that Big Wheel. 78 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,415 It's very special to me. 79 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,216 I lost my V-card on that thing. 80 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,718 You what? 81 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,588 Yep, went over a speed bump really fast and broke my hymen. 82 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,055 Stewie, you don't have a hymen. 83 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,091 -Yeah, not anymore. -No, you're a boy. 84 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,694 I have to correct you there, Brian. I'm a man. 85 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,362 'Cause, you know... broken hymen. 86 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,197 Boys don't have hymens! 87 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,866 Okay, then I may have just ripped my taint. 88 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,135 Either way, I love that bike! 89 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,375 Hi. Can you help us? 90 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,210 We're trying to locate a lost Big Wh... 91 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,745 -(insects buzzing) -My God, 92 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,747 there's just so... 93 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,949 much... garbage. 94 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:12,286 (moaning) 95 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,422 Yes, we are in search of a Big Wheel 96 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:17,057 that was erroneously discarded and collected today. 97 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,728 Oh, then it probably came in with the morning load. 98 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,096 Sorry. That term always makes me blush. 99 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,300 But if it just came in, that's bad news. 100 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,736 Usually the newest, top layer of trash 101 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,838 just blows right into the ocean. 102 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,978 Yeah, I'm afraid your Big Wheel may be gones for good. 103 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,314 Dear God, this is horrible! 104 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,450 I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! 105 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,987 Phew. Ooh, something smells good in this box. 106 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,657 I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! 107 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:57,164 Damn it. Monica's not responding to any of my texts. 108 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,667 You're still tryin' to bang that 44-year-old? 109 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,168 -What are you sending her? -Mostly porn. 110 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,503 Just shots of rods. 111 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,772 All angles. Up, down, left, right. 112 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,775 Lois, maybe you could help me ask out this woman I met. 113 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,109 She's close to your age. 114 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,178 But she won't respond to any of my texts. 115 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,513 Oh, well, that's easy. 116 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,383 Just ask her if she's all caught up on This Is Us. 117 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,018 (phone vibrates) 118 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,021 She says, "I'm one behind, so no spoilers. 119 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:24,658 Hysterical laughing face, hysterical laughing face." 120 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,193 How-how is that funny? 121 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,628 It's not, but you're in. 122 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,030 Great. This is exactly the stuff I need to know. 123 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,200 Lois, will you teach me the ways of the middle-aged woman? 124 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,503 All right. I'm a sucker for romance. 125 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:38,338 Thanks, Lois. This could open up a whole new world for me. 126 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,474 Like one of those kids who gets a device 127 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:43,010 that allows them to hear for the first time. 128 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,879 Billy, can you hear? 129 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,314 Yes! 130 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,550 Amazing! This is amazing. 131 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,052 Your mom and I are going to get a divorce. 132 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,521 I'm in love with someone else, 133 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:56,356 and I didn't want to say it with the silly hands. 134 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:03,030 Brian, I've been doing research on my Big Wheel. 135 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,732 If it ended up in the ocean, 136 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,200 it most likely has traveled to Garbage Island. 137 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,902 What's Garbage Island? 138 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:11,739 The other name for the North Atlantic Garbage Patch, 139 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,407 an enormous cluster of man-made debris 140 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,375 floating in the middle of the ocean. 141 00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,344 This is terrible. We got to raise awareness, 142 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,212 -let people know about it. -I agree. 143 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,615 It's like a giant garbage whirlpool. 144 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,519 Brian? 145 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,521 You heard me. 146 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,890 Anyway, I'm heading there to find my Big Wheel. 147 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,191 Perhaps you'll come with me. 148 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,760 Boating to an island of garbage? 149 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:35,062 I'm in. Maybe Peter will come, too. 150 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,197 Hey, Peter, want to go on a boat ride? 151 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,734 Oh, uh, I can't be in stories for a couple of episodes. 152 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,103 (whispering): I'm real-life pregnant. 153 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,106 Oh, my God. I had no idea. 154 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,374 (high-pitched): I know! 155 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,977 Anyway, Mama's got to get off her feet. 156 00:06:57,317 --> 00:07:00,621 All right, time to retrieve my Big Wheel from Garbage Island. 157 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,790 Let's do it. 158 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,058 Hey, how'd you get the money to rent this boat anyway? 159 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,427 Oh, I got a part-time job at Target. 160 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:15,135 Okay, technically, I work at the weird, in-store Pizza Hut. 161 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,070 ANNOUNCER: The Target In-Store Pizza Hut. 162 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,974 Feed it to your fat kid while you buy off-brand tennis shoes. 163 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,980 Now, Glenn, I'm gonna help you get into the mind 164 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,415 of a middle-aged woman. 165 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,418 Step one: we all go friggin' nuts over Yankee Candles, 166 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,588 so to help you learn all the flavors, I made a little quiz. 167 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,990 I'm gonna give you a name, and you tell me 168 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,760 if it's the name of a Yankee Candle or a porn star. 169 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,995 -Okay. -Black Coconut. 170 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,263 Porn star? 171 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,099 No, that's a candle. Amber Gold. 172 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,602 -Candle? -That is a candle. 173 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,604 April Showers. 174 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,606 Um... both? 175 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:56,777 Very good. I tried to trick you there, but you got it. Both. 176 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,445 Okay, okay, I'm writing this all down. 177 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,515 But, Lois, Monica agreed to have dinner with me tomorrow. 178 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:02,683 That's great! 179 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:03,951 I suppose. 180 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,319 But I don't think I can pull it off by myself. 181 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,855 Will you come and just be nearby 182 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,857 to give me tips and help me get through it? 183 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,125 Fine, but I'll have to rearrange my schedule. 184 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,361 Friday nights are when Peter and I do edibles 185 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,063 and go to the aquarium. 186 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,468 This is awesome. 187 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,871 Peter, I'm freaking out. 188 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:26,707 Yeah, don't-don't... don't ruin it for me. 189 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,987 Okay, I spy something blue. 190 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,690 Uh... the ocean? 191 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,157 Nope. 192 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,492 The sky? 193 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,160 Hey, you got it in two, bud. 194 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,328 That ties the record. 195 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,529 Stewie, I'm starting to wonder 196 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,665 if we didn't think this all the way through. 197 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:53,000 No, it's fine. 198 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,236 It'll all be worth it once we get to Garbage Island. 199 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,171 Not a lot of wind today. 200 00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,740 No. 201 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,508 Hey, what causes wind? 202 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,744 Well, if my reading material has taught me anything, 203 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,213 it's just a cloud with lips. 204 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,250 Blustery... 205 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,052 is a good word. 206 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,520 Uh-huh. 207 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,956 Mm... Moana. 208 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,526 Mm. 209 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,895 I never saw Moana. 210 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,799 You never saw Moana? 211 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,480 (phone vibrates) 212 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,293 Your blowout looks nice. 213 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,728 Oh, thanks. 214 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:58,231 So, um, I noticed a yoga mat in the back of your car. 215 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,834 -How often do you do yoga? -(phone vibrates) 216 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,415 -Is everything all right? -Hmm? 217 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,750 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. 218 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,586 My, um... my-my dad locked himself out of his car. 219 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,588 Oh, sorry. Do you need to help him? 220 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,456 Um, no, uh, no. He, um, he broke, uh... 221 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,825 broke the window with his foot. 222 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,094 High heel. My dad's a woman now. 223 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,663 -Oh. -(phone vibrates) 224 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,271 (chuckles) You're lucky we came here. 225 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,007 I almost suggested Mickey D's. 226 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,642 (laughing): Oh, my God. 227 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,011 That's so informal. 228 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,679 Are you talking about McDonald's? 229 00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,314 -(chuckles): Yeah, yeah! -(phone vibrates) 230 00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,516 Another thing I was just thinking about is... 231 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,451 "AMBER Alert, white Honda Accord, 232 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,286 license plate..." Uh, uh, I mean, 233 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,123 Pinterest sure has some neat pictures of sinks. 234 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,691 Doesn't it? 235 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,860 Listen, what if we just bail on dinner 236 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,661 and head back to my place? 237 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:02,896 Great! I'm in. 238 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,370 Wait! You have to pay for the bread. 239 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,039 Hey! 240 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,375 You have to pay for the bread! 241 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:18,879 You have to pay for the bread! 242 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,214 You have to pay for the bread! 243 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,482 The bread! 244 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,018 (crying): You have to pay 245 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,686 for the bread! 246 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,757 (crying) 247 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,062 (creaking) 248 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,396 (grunting) 249 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,365 Moana? 250 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,703 Oh, my God. Brian. 251 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,105 Look! 252 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,878 We made it! 253 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,013 We made it to Garbage Island! 254 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,248 My God, I don't believe it. 255 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,717 Whoa, look at all the packaging from Mickey D's. 256 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,719 What? Oh, my God, I've never heard that. 257 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:02,189 "Mickey D's." That is just great. 258 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,391 Anyway, let's start looking for my Big Wheel. 259 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:07,027 Hey, check it out, a VCR just sitting here. 260 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,062 I'm taking this sucker home. 261 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:10,097 (grunts) 262 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:11,899 (gasps) 263 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,403 Oh, crap. 264 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,737 Brian, you idiot. 265 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,739 Now how the hell are we supposed to get back to land? 266 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,374 We're both going to die. 267 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,444 Oh, look, a message in a bottle is washing up. 268 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,814 Maybe this'll help. 269 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,783 PETER: Dear England: Enclosed, 270 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:33,453 please find one bottle fart in exchange for Russell Brand. 271 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,889 We feel this is appropriate compensation. 272 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,125 Yours, et cetera, America. 273 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,827 -(flatulence) -(groaning) 274 00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,903 Damn it, Brian! How could you sink our boat? 275 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,238 We're going to die! 276 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,639 MAN: You guys need any help? 277 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,808 -Aah! -Aah! Who the hell are you? 278 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,309 Name's Taylor. 'Sup? 279 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,644 How the hell did you get here? 280 00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:58,645 Oh, I, uh... 281 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,580 I-I fell off a booze cruise. 282 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,950 -You what? -Yep, washed up here. 283 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,118 Matter of fact, we all did. 284 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,457 How are you all planning to get back home? 285 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,826 Get back home? Why would we want to do that? 286 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:15,495 Yeah, we've got everything we need here. 287 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:18,665 There's tons of free, half-eaten food that washes up. 288 00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,301 And we just bang each other all day. 289 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,936 That, uh... 290 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,138 that doesn't sound terrible. 291 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,807 Hey, so, we've been stuck out here for over 20 years. 292 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,676 Can you catch us up on all the important things 293 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:30,878 that we've missed? 294 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,684 So, no way! 295 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:40,020 Kylie Jenner and Tyga are no longer together? 296 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,521 Splitsville, my friend. 297 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,790 How did Robert Kardashian die? 298 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,791 Guilt cancer. 299 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:45,959 From what? 300 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,494 Oh, boy. 301 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:55,302 So people thought the dancing Judge Itos were funny? 302 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,303 For a while, yes. 303 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,871 Is Leno still doing it? 304 00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,472 No, he's not hosting anymore. 305 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,541 Oh, so Conan got The Tonight Show? 306 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,243 -(sighs) -Oh, come o... 307 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,817 A-And so what about Craig Kilborn? Is he still on? 308 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,152 I'm actually right here. 309 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,587 Oh, right. Hey, Craig. 310 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,062 Oh, hi, Glenn. 311 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,663 I haven't seen you in a while. 312 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,232 H-How are things with Monica? 313 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,399 Who? 314 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,069 Monica, y-your hot date from the other night. 315 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,737 Oh, yeah. I plowed her. Thanks again. 316 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,906 But-but I thought she was the one. 317 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,174 Yeah, no, what I realized is 318 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,742 that all those texts you sent me, 319 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,077 they're like my bible now. 320 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,679 I just keep using these same tips on different women. 321 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,081 I owe you, Lois. 322 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:44,251 You've opened up a whole world of middle-aged legs to me. 323 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,919 (humming) 324 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:49,389 Oh, my God. Quagmire's terrorizing middle-aged women, 325 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,358 and I'm responsible for it. 326 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,760 I've created a monster. 327 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,767 Oh, no! My Luna Bar for women. 328 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,936 (haunting music playing) 329 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,575 ♪ 330 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,382 Please call the DWP. 331 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,950 I'm stuck in here. 332 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,986 ♪ 333 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:24,291 (seabird squawks in distance) 334 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,293 Hey, what day is it? 335 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,760 Trash day. 336 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,297 (both laughing) 337 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,432 Brian, look, I found my Big Wheel. 338 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,634 -Cool. -It's more than cool, Brian. 339 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,137 I believe the Big Wheel may actually be our ticket 340 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,305 off the island. 341 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,639 You see, I've calculated that, 342 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,074 even with both of our weights, 343 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,909 it will still be capable of flotation. 344 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,411 My plan is to attach 345 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,746 six Jimmy Buffett margarita machines to it, 346 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,982 which should be able to propel us home. 347 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,484 Home? I don't think I want to go home. 348 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,486 What? What are you talking about? 349 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,822 I'm saying I like it here on Garbage Island. 350 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,657 O-Okay, I-I don't think I can talk to you, 351 00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,159 because, right now, you're making less sense 352 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,494 than an M.C. Escher floor plan. 353 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,963 So, how's it coming? 354 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,832 Are we gonna finish on schedule? 355 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,100 I don't know, Mr. Escher. 356 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,436 I've never put six stairways all in one spot. 357 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,338 And I've lost, like, ten of my guys in here. 358 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,640 Hey, I need a hammer! 359 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,443 I hate this place! 360 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,011 I quit! 361 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,048 (grunts) 362 00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:28,021 Uh, 'scuse me, I'm-I'm looking for anything by... 363 00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:29,356 Mike "Bubble"? 364 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,358 LOIS: It's "Bublé," you idiot! 365 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,992 Oh, hey, Lo... Ow! 366 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,494 That feels great! 367 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,164 Glenn Quagmire, I tried to help you meet a nice woman, 368 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,366 but you just couldn't help yourself, could you? 369 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:40,700 What are you talking about? 370 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,635 I thought I was helping you find love, 371 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,471 and, instead, you used me as a tool 372 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,374 to get down every middle-aged woman's pants in town. 373 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,209 Slacks, Lois. They call them slacks. 374 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,844 You wouldn't know that if it wasn't for me! 375 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,380 (sighs) You're right. 376 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:56,149 You were kind to me, and I took advantage of it. 377 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,318 I owe you an apology. 378 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,353 Well, thank you. 379 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,688 Here, let me make it up to you. 380 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,823 I'll buy you a coffee, and... 381 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,892 do you like the music of Ray... 382 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,227 "LaMountain"? 383 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,561 "LaMontagne." 384 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,397 Thank you. Hey, beautiful, 385 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,565 you want to take a pointless girl-stride walk 386 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,667 and listen to Ray LaMontagne? 387 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,069 -Sure. -Great. 388 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,205 See ya, Lois. 389 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,509 Last chance, Brian. 390 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,677 You're really not coming with me? 391 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,179 I'm sorry, Stewie. I'm not. 392 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,847 I know it's weird to say, but... 393 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,350 it's kind of just too perfect for me here. 394 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,551 I see. 395 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,052 Well, I should go. 396 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,522 Fort Lauderdale Tanya found a four-piece puzzle 397 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,689 she's been struggling with. 398 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,525 TANYA: Where does the cow go? 399 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,260 It's all corners, babe. 400 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,728 (sighs) I have to say, 401 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,931 I never imagined saying goodbye to you, Brian. 402 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,066 So long take very good care 403 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,869 dear friend of mine farewell. 404 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,037 That's odd phrasing. 405 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,905 Sorry, it's been hard to think straight. 406 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,207 From the moment we arrived, 407 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,875 I've either been drunk or ejaculating. 408 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,445 These are things you don't say to a baby. 409 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,413 Goodbye, Brian. 410 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,415 Goodbye, Stewie. 411 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,451 ♪ 412 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,497 (whirring) 413 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:29,309 ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my lady ♪ 414 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,979 ♪ In the sun with your hair undone ♪ 415 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,647 ♪ Can you hear me now ♪ 416 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:39,186 ♪ Callin' your name from across the bay? ♪ 417 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:44,457 ♪ A summer's day laughin' and a-hidin' ♪ 418 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:49,629 ♪ Chasin' love out on Thunder Island ♪ 419 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,964 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 420 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,966 ♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪ 421 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,435 (people exclaiming) 422 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,004 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 423 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,940 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 424 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,009 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 425 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,977 -♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ -(screaming) 426 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:09,482 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 427 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,024 Stewie, what the hell's going on? 428 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,492 We're back in Quahog? 429 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,661 -We are, Brian. -Why? What happened? 430 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,130 You're an enormously important part of my life, Brian, 431 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,299 and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. 432 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,468 I assumed it unlikely you'd change your mind, 433 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,538 so I added the fans from many, many Dell laptops 434 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:32,872 to the back of my Big Wheel 435 00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,375 so I could simply tow everyone back to land. 436 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:36,376 Wow. 437 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,644 Thank you. 438 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,512 That means a lot to me. 439 00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,648 Well, our journey taught me something, Brian. 440 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,517 You can throw away just about anything in this world, 441 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:47,153 but you can't throw away a friendship. 442 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,222 No, you can't, Stewie. 443 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:51,324 Cool if I say goodbye to the garbage? 444 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:54,561 You do what you got to do, you gross dog. 445 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,996 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 446 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,166 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 447 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,034 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 448 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,337 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 449 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:08,375 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do. ♪ 450 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,415 ♪ Sweet sunshine ♪ 451 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,718 ♪ So, sha-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 452 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,186 ♪ My lady ♪ 453 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,690 ♪ In the sun with your dress undone ♪ 454 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,558 ♪ Now every mile aw... ♪ 455 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,594 (Muzak version of "Thunder Island" playing) 456 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,712 Sausage and pepperoni for Alan? 457 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,879 Alan? 458 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,882 (sniffs) God, that smells good, doesn't it? 459 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,284 -Alan? -Yeah. 460 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,753 But, actually, I ordered just pepperoni. 461 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,923 (sighs) Can I see your receipt?