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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Hey, guys.
20
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:11,878
This is my co-cadet at the
Police Academy, Suzy Simpson.
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00:00:11,918 --> 00:00:13,587
Simpson, these are my friends.
22
00:00:13,628 --> 00:00:14,938
Take a good look, 'cause
you'll probably be arresting
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00:00:14,962 --> 00:00:16,041
some of them in the future.
24
00:00:18,172 --> 00:00:19,799
You're right!
25
00:00:19,841 --> 00:00:22,680
This one looks like the guy in the
"What Drugs Can Do to You" filmstrip.
26
00:00:27,554 --> 00:00:28,638
So you're a cop, huh?
27
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,472
You don't look like a cop.
28
00:00:30,514 --> 00:00:31,514
You look kind of giggly.
29
00:00:33,391 --> 00:00:35,284
All right, Simpson needed
to give me a ride home,
30
00:00:35,308 --> 00:00:37,707
'cause I sprayed myself with
mace to see what it'd feel like.
31
00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:42,856
Hey, so, Suzy, which
Charlie's Angel is your favorite?
32
00:00:42,898 --> 00:00:44,939
The brainy one?
The sporty one?
33
00:00:44,981 --> 00:00:46,460
Or the one that
just can't find a bra?
34
00:00:48,401 --> 00:00:50,040
Mine's the one that
just can't find a bra.
35
00:00:51,861 --> 00:00:54,738
Charlie's Angels are
an embarrassment to the badge.
36
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:57,406
No real cop would last a day
dressed like those sluts.
37
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,949
Hey!
Those sluts are my heroes!
38
00:01:02,701 --> 00:01:04,494
Hey, thanks for
giving me a ride, Simpson.
39
00:01:04,536 --> 00:01:05,953
We back up our own.
40
00:01:05,994 --> 00:01:08,747
Point Place Police
Corps Free Safe Streets!
41
00:01:11,998 --> 00:01:14,125
What's her problem
with Charlie's Angels?
42
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:15,835
Ugh, I bet she watches PBS.
43
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:21,046
So you and Simpson been friends
for almost two days now, huh?
44
00:01:21,088 --> 00:01:22,687
Isn't it about time
you got her pregnant?
45
00:01:26,592 --> 00:01:29,385
No! It's different
with me and Simpson.
46
00:01:29,427 --> 00:01:32,178
For the first time ever, I
have a girl that's just a friend.
47
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,221
Like, when Simpson talks,
I actually listen
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00:01:34,263 --> 00:01:36,022
instead of watching
her boobs go up and down.
49
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:40,016
Kelso. You've finally
gotten past the stage
50
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,453
where you have to look
at every woman's chest.
51
00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:42,894
Congratulations.
52
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,937
Not exactly. I'm looking
at yours right now.
53
00:01:47,313 --> 00:01:48,981
And may I say,
congratulations to you.
54
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,108
You're such a perv.
55
00:01:52,817 --> 00:01:53,859
And thank you.
56
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,403
Oh, hey.
57
00:01:57,445 --> 00:01:59,529
What took you guys so long
at the heart doctor's?
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00:01:59,571 --> 00:02:01,572
Oh, let me guess. You
had to call in a specialist
59
00:02:01,614 --> 00:02:03,282
just to find Dad's tiny heart.
60
00:02:05,742 --> 00:02:08,452
You know, we could call in a
specialist to find my foot in your ass.
61
00:02:11,746 --> 00:02:13,997
"We're going to need
an ass-foot-ologist, stat."
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00:02:16,958 --> 00:02:18,959
Your father's blood pressure
is still high,
63
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,084
and the doctor
can't figure out why.
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00:02:21,126 --> 00:02:22,962
So he wants to send
some moron over
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00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:24,879
to find the source of my stress.
66
00:02:24,921 --> 00:02:26,630
And I said,
"The source of my stress
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00:02:26,672 --> 00:02:29,590
"is when you quacks
try to pad my medical bill."
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00:02:29,632 --> 00:02:32,111
And then the machine went "Beep",
and the appointment was over.
69
00:02:33,343 --> 00:02:34,986
You know, I don't know
what you're so worried about.
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00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:36,512
They're just going to blame me.
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00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:38,012
Shrinks love to blame the wife.
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00:02:38,053 --> 00:02:40,013
What do they know?
They're barely doctors.
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00:02:40,054 --> 00:02:42,599
A stuffed animal and a box
of tissues could do their job.
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00:02:44,558 --> 00:02:46,351
Why is Red so stressed?
75
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,227
It's a mystery.
76
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,312
Just like when Nancy Drew
had to figure out
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00:02:51,354 --> 00:02:53,564
why the man in the clock tower
was so mean to his cat.
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00:02:55,273 --> 00:02:56,566
What did she find out?
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00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:58,047
Oh, I don't know,
books are too long.
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00:03:03,612 --> 00:03:05,613
♪ Hanging out
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00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:09,073
♪ Down the street
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00:03:10,741 --> 00:03:13,034
♪ The same old thing
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00:03:14,577 --> 00:03:16,370
♪ We did last week
84
00:03:17,872 --> 00:03:21,832
♪ Not a thing to do
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00:03:21,874 --> 00:03:25,668
♪ But talk to you
86
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:27,585
♪ We're all all right
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00:03:27,627 --> 00:03:29,128
♪ We're all all right
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00:03:29,921 --> 00:03:31,922
Hello, Wisconsin!
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00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,680
Hi! I'm the stress management
specialist, Stuart
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00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:46,015
- Sutcliffe.
- Sutcliffe!
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00:03:46,056 --> 00:03:48,098
You played tight
end for the Packers!
92
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,892
Yeah, till I bent
my knee sideways.
93
00:03:51,309 --> 00:03:53,348
Actually, that happened to me
in the school musical.
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00:03:54,812 --> 00:03:56,771
I was a dancing mushroom.
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00:03:56,813 --> 00:03:58,313
Anyway, long story short...
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00:04:01,232 --> 00:04:02,232
I finished the number.
97
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,694
This is my son, Eric.
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00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:08,571
Oh, oh,
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00:04:08,612 --> 00:04:12,031
and I am his loving,
relaxing wife, Kitty.
100
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:14,033
How about that.
101
00:04:14,074 --> 00:04:16,659
A real, live Packer
in the house.
102
00:04:20,536 --> 00:04:22,996
Well, I hope the fact
that you both love sports
103
00:04:23,038 --> 00:04:25,415
doesn't mean that anyone,
like, say, his wife
104
00:04:25,456 --> 00:04:28,624
would be judged unfairly.
I mean, I love sports, so...
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00:04:28,666 --> 00:04:31,877
So don't start me off
with four strikes
106
00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:34,086
in the last quarter
of the Super Series!
107
00:04:37,672 --> 00:04:40,173
No, no. Today I'm
just a neutral observer
108
00:04:40,215 --> 00:04:42,235
with a degree in Family
Therapy and Alcohol Awareness.
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00:04:42,259 --> 00:04:44,552
So, Dad, you can talk
to him about sports,
110
00:04:44,594 --> 00:04:46,353
and, Mom, you can
talk to him about drinking.
111
00:04:49,513 --> 00:04:51,305
Oh, pooh!
112
00:04:51,347 --> 00:04:54,307
I was instructed by the doctor to
have the occasional medicinal cocktail.
113
00:04:54,349 --> 00:04:55,349
I have a note.
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00:04:57,518 --> 00:04:59,728
Red, how do you feel
about Kitty's drinking?
115
00:05:00,687 --> 00:05:01,979
Makes things easier.
116
00:05:03,898 --> 00:05:06,608
But drinking often adds a
lot of stress to a household.
117
00:05:06,649 --> 00:05:09,860
If you will excuse me, I'd rather not
stay here and listen to you blame me.
118
00:05:12,236 --> 00:05:13,235
Mother hater!
119
00:05:16,739 --> 00:05:19,115
Well, I hope nobody minds
if I record today's session.
120
00:05:19,156 --> 00:05:21,658
Yay, this is your
lucky day, son.
121
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,452
They say
the camera adds 15 pounds.
122
00:05:25,494 --> 00:05:26,746
Really?
123
00:05:26,787 --> 00:05:28,387
I heard it also adds
a full head of hair.
124
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,126
Hey, Kitty. You busy?
125
00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:41,797
No. Red and I are just
having our marriage dissected
126
00:05:41,838 --> 00:05:43,381
by a teetotaling know-it-all!
127
00:05:45,841 --> 00:05:48,593
Oh. Then is now a good time
to tell Red I broke his chainsaw?
128
00:05:50,719 --> 00:05:52,511
No, he'll be furious with you.
129
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,388
Yes. He will be furious
with you!
130
00:05:57,598 --> 00:05:59,266
Come with me.
131
00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:02,142
So then,
all the mushrooms jitterbug.
132
00:06:07,313 --> 00:06:09,064
Stuart, Stuart.
133
00:06:09,106 --> 00:06:11,273
This is Bob, the stress causer.
134
00:06:11,315 --> 00:06:13,734
Bob broke Red's chainsaw.
135
00:06:13,776 --> 00:06:15,902
Bob, meet Stuart.
Stuart, blame Bob.
136
00:06:18,152 --> 00:06:19,862
Red, how do you feel about Bob?
137
00:06:19,904 --> 00:06:21,196
Does he cause you stress?
138
00:06:21,238 --> 00:06:23,949
Not really.
Bob's just kind of goofy.
139
00:06:23,991 --> 00:06:26,325
Like a cartoon. Like
living next to Elmer Fudd.
140
00:06:29,494 --> 00:06:31,653
That may be the nicest thing
you've ever said about me.
141
00:06:32,830 --> 00:06:34,162
You wascal.
142
00:06:37,248 --> 00:06:38,834
Oh, so, fine.
143
00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:41,585
Now you're best friends.
Now everyone's all happy,
144
00:06:41,627 --> 00:06:43,461
and I look like the crazy one,
145
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:46,755
just yelling and screaming in
the middle of the living room.
146
00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,714
Well, I am not the crazy one,
147
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:51,758
even though I am yelling and
screaming in the middle of the living room!
148
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,092
Is that a camera?
149
00:06:54,384 --> 00:06:56,302
Yes. I'm
recording today's session.
150
00:06:58,304 --> 00:07:00,179
Well, isn't that just
something I didn't know.
151
00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:09,020
Michael. We got issued
our cop sunglasses.
152
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:11,896
I've been using them to scare
the crap out of civilians all day.
153
00:07:13,438 --> 00:07:14,773
Drop the records, punk!
154
00:07:15,982 --> 00:07:17,232
I wasn't stealing them.
155
00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:20,443
Yes, I was.
156
00:07:22,528 --> 00:07:25,571
Fez, this is Suzy Simpson.
She and I are training to be cops.
157
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,465
Oh, if there's more like you
at the Police Academy,
158
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,074
that Academy deserves an award.
159
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,201
Academy Award, that's funny.
160
00:07:35,036 --> 00:07:37,537
Yeah, Simpson's wanted
to be a cop for, like, forever.
161
00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:40,040
Yeah, it's because of
the weapons, mostly.
162
00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:42,415
I love things that
make a lot of noise.
163
00:07:42,457 --> 00:07:43,708
Guns and boys.
164
00:07:45,584 --> 00:07:47,864
Well, then, load me up, baby,
'cause I'm ready to go bang.
165
00:07:51,047 --> 00:07:53,798
Well, I'd better go. I've
gotta stop at the candy store.
166
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,215
- All right.
- Wait.
167
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:57,967
You like candy?
168
00:07:58,009 --> 00:08:00,259
Yeah. I'm out of
Good & Plenty.
169
00:08:00,301 --> 00:08:02,345
It says on the box
that there's plenty,
170
00:08:02,387 --> 00:08:03,613
- but it's never enough.
- But it's never enough.
171
00:08:03,637 --> 00:08:06,472
Jinx! One, two, three, four,
five, you owe me a Coke!
172
00:08:11,726 --> 00:08:14,061
That is the woman I've been
searching for my whole life.
173
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,772
Hey, do you want me
to see if she likes you?
174
00:08:18,814 --> 00:08:20,148
Kelso, we've been
down that road.
175
00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:21,500
Just give me her address,
some binoculars,
176
00:08:21,524 --> 00:08:22,900
and I'll handle the rest myself.
177
00:08:27,195 --> 00:08:28,319
Now, while we're filming,
178
00:08:28,361 --> 00:08:31,363
let's just pretend the
camera's not even here.
179
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:39,284
Now, you're going to interact, I'm
going to write down my observations.
180
00:08:39,326 --> 00:08:41,370
While you're writing down stuff,
181
00:08:41,412 --> 00:08:43,580
would you mind
autographing this football?
182
00:08:43,621 --> 00:08:45,081
It's brand-new,
kid never touched it.
183
00:08:48,624 --> 00:08:49,709
Hey, what's going on?
184
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,376
Dude, we're on TV.
185
00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:53,961
Does this thing work?
186
00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:55,254
Hey, Steven, point it at me.
187
00:08:57,797 --> 00:08:59,673
Good morning, Dallas!
188
00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:03,593
I'm Jackie Sunshine
with your morning weather!
189
00:09:03,634 --> 00:09:05,677
It is going to be sunny today,
190
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:09,345
so you ladies who let yourselves
go this winter, stay inside
191
00:09:09,387 --> 00:09:10,987
and leave the fellows
to us pretty girls.
192
00:09:11,973 --> 00:09:13,224
Please stop touching my camera.
193
00:09:16,392 --> 00:09:18,977
Well, what a lovely day here
194
00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:21,311
in the household of the Formans.
195
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,730
I can't say there's
a place I'd rather be
196
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,941
than with these kinds of
people in this kind of place.
197
00:09:26,982 --> 00:09:28,025
What are you,
198
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,776
Scarlett O'Hara, now?
199
00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:32,097
I am being
soft and gracious. Now, clam it!
200
00:09:33,612 --> 00:09:36,655
Mom, you know,
they have talkies now.
201
00:09:37,906 --> 00:09:39,990
Oh, forget it.
202
00:09:40,032 --> 00:09:42,700
I give up. Where is the
off button on this thing?
203
00:09:42,742 --> 00:09:44,511
Mrs. Forman, I need
to see things as they happen!
204
00:09:44,535 --> 00:09:46,078
This silly... Oopsie!
205
00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:52,165
All right, you clock this lady
doing 38 in a 35 zone.
206
00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:53,666
Recite it and write it.
207
00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:57,293
License and registration, ma'am.
208
00:09:59,335 --> 00:10:01,296
Use the glasses,
they're powerful.
209
00:10:01,337 --> 00:10:03,297
It's like a gun you
wear on your face.
210
00:10:06,299 --> 00:10:08,175
Licence and registration, ma'am.
211
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:09,885
Oh, that felt good.
212
00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:12,637
Guess what?
213
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,513
I know someone who likes you
214
00:10:15,555 --> 00:10:17,640
and thinks that you're cute
and smart and funny.
215
00:10:19,182 --> 00:10:21,226
Well, I think I know
who you're talking about
216
00:10:21,268 --> 00:10:23,102
and I like him, too.
217
00:10:23,144 --> 00:10:25,103
Well, what do you
like about him?
218
00:10:25,145 --> 00:10:27,562
I like how hot he looks
sitting across from me
219
00:10:27,604 --> 00:10:29,606
in a blue t-shirt
eating a hot dog.
220
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,566
You just described me.
221
00:10:37,402 --> 00:10:38,401
Oh, crap.
222
00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:49,367
Man, I thought Simpson
was different.
223
00:10:49,409 --> 00:10:50,911
She's supposed to
just be my buddy.
224
00:10:52,162 --> 00:10:53,722
Now I'm going to
have to sleep with her.
225
00:10:54,831 --> 00:10:57,582
No, Michael, no.
Set her up with Fez.
226
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,125
He's the one who likes her.
227
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,875
Yeah, Fez needs something, man.
228
00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:02,210
The guy's so desperate,
229
00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:04,371
he's been rubbing himself
around the couch like a cat.
230
00:11:06,005 --> 00:11:09,464
What you need to do is put them
together in a romantic situation.
231
00:11:09,506 --> 00:11:11,340
Suzy may not like Fez at first,
232
00:11:11,382 --> 00:11:13,301
but he won't take
"No" for an answer.
233
00:11:13,341 --> 00:11:15,426
He's like one freaky,
horny little dude.
234
00:11:17,012 --> 00:11:18,220
Just ask the couch.
235
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,764
Hey, I was thinking
maybe tomorrow
236
00:11:22,806 --> 00:11:24,726
you could help me brush
up on my target practice.
237
00:11:24,766 --> 00:11:26,725
It's a date.
238
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,935
Yeah, I'd be there,
you'd be there...
239
00:11:28,977 --> 00:11:30,728
On a date.
240
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,395
So, I'll see you at
the shooting range.
241
00:11:32,437 --> 00:11:33,563
For our date.
242
00:11:35,815 --> 00:11:37,356
Your first date
with Suzy's all set up,
243
00:11:37,398 --> 00:11:40,193
and she told me
that she's crazy about you.
244
00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:42,111
Well, I'd like to say
I'm surprised,
245
00:11:42,153 --> 00:11:43,862
but I'm a little
crazy about me, too!
246
00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:47,572
Well, it's all set.
247
00:11:47,614 --> 00:11:49,532
Fez is going on
a date with Suzy,
248
00:11:49,573 --> 00:11:50,883
who's going on a date with me,
and doesn't know
249
00:11:50,907 --> 00:11:52,147
she's going on a date with Fez.
250
00:11:53,534 --> 00:11:56,119
I'm ready for our date, Michael.
251
00:11:56,161 --> 00:11:57,453
I'm ready for our date, Suzy.
252
00:11:58,912 --> 00:12:00,331
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
253
00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:06,626
Such a shame you won't
be able to film anymore.
254
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:12,463
Look, there's one last
exercise I want to try.
255
00:12:12,505 --> 00:12:14,380
Role-playing.
All right, go.
256
00:12:15,673 --> 00:12:18,466
All right. Now,
you're going to be Eric.
257
00:12:18,508 --> 00:12:20,593
Eric, you're going
to be your father.
258
00:12:20,635 --> 00:12:22,636
Mr. Forman,
you can start.
259
00:12:26,597 --> 00:12:28,224
Well...
260
00:12:28,265 --> 00:12:33,727
I'm just a skinny,
smart-mouthed kid
261
00:12:33,768 --> 00:12:36,937
who always has something
to say about everything.
262
00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:41,357
And I wish I was an octopus
263
00:12:43,192 --> 00:12:45,693
so I could put eight feet
in eight different asses!
264
00:12:50,196 --> 00:12:52,739
Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars!
265
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:55,366
Dead commies, dead commies,
dead commies!
266
00:12:55,406 --> 00:12:59,285
All right, time out, time out!
267
00:12:59,327 --> 00:13:01,245
I think I know
what the problem is.
268
00:13:01,286 --> 00:13:03,871
All right, fine.
I drink a little.
269
00:13:07,165 --> 00:13:08,916
What?
270
00:13:08,957 --> 00:13:13,920
I have a very difficult job, and I
come home at night, and, well...
271
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,160
Drinks are her nightly reward.
272
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,630
Mrs. Forman,
273
00:13:19,672 --> 00:13:22,507
I believe the source of
your husband's stress is...
274
00:13:22,549 --> 00:13:23,633
Oh, here it comes.
275
00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:26,135
...your son.
276
00:13:26,802 --> 00:13:27,969
- Him?
- Me?
277
00:13:28,011 --> 00:13:30,347
It's not me?
Oh, boy!
278
00:13:34,015 --> 00:13:36,516
You think my problem
is my own son?
279
00:13:38,102 --> 00:13:40,603
My son is a fine young man.
280
00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:44,064
- Wow, Dad, you don't have...
- Shut up, dumb ass.
281
00:13:47,899 --> 00:13:51,235
You know less about my family
than you do about football!
282
00:13:51,277 --> 00:13:53,361
Which isn't saying much,
283
00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:55,445
since you dropped every
pass that came near you!
284
00:13:57,155 --> 00:13:58,864
And let me tell
you something else.
285
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:01,200
When a real
Packer hurts his leg,
286
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,659
he stuffs his kneecap back in
and keeps on running!
287
00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:09,914
That's what this little
mushroom would have done.
288
00:14:19,002 --> 00:14:20,962
I love this place.
289
00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,713
The sweet smell of gunpowder,
290
00:14:23,755 --> 00:14:27,341
the deafening boom
of shotgun blasts...
291
00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:30,509
Oops. That kind of talk's more
appropriate for the bedroom. I apologize.
292
00:14:33,929 --> 00:14:35,305
Knock, knock?
293
00:14:36,513 --> 00:14:38,890
Who's there? Ivan! Ivan who?
294
00:14:38,932 --> 00:14:41,475
Ivan awful lot of
candy for the both of us!
295
00:14:43,059 --> 00:14:45,145
Fez?
296
00:14:45,186 --> 00:14:48,225
Well, if it's not me, then there's some
lucky bastard who looks just like me.
297
00:14:50,564 --> 00:14:54,483
Michael, I thought it was just going
to be you, me and a box of hot lead!
298
00:14:55,567 --> 00:14:56,859
Well, it's even better.
299
00:14:56,901 --> 00:14:59,237
It's you, me
and a box of hot Fez.
300
00:15:01,905 --> 00:15:04,573
Kelso, this wasn't
part of the deal.
301
00:15:04,615 --> 00:15:06,032
What wasn't part of the deal?
302
00:15:06,074 --> 00:15:07,659
You! So beat it.
303
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,743
I want her to smell
nothing but me.
304
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:13,787
Okay.
305
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,789
You know what,
I'm kind of in the way.
306
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:16,914
I'm going to go next door,
307
00:15:16,956 --> 00:15:19,082
and maybe you can
show Fez how to shoot.
308
00:15:19,124 --> 00:15:21,524
Try to close the deal before
she realizes you're a foreigner.
309
00:15:25,378 --> 00:15:27,921
So, where do we start?
310
00:15:27,963 --> 00:15:29,589
I could rifle
through the manual,
311
00:15:29,631 --> 00:15:31,550
but why don't you just
give me the bullet points?
312
00:15:34,009 --> 00:15:37,219
Fez, I never joke about guns.
313
00:15:37,845 --> 00:15:39,512
Oh. Shoot.
314
00:15:43,849 --> 00:15:45,183
I have no discipline.
315
00:15:46,642 --> 00:15:47,976
Okay.
316
00:15:48,018 --> 00:15:50,102
You're gonna just take aim
317
00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:53,062
and squeeze gently.
318
00:16:00,609 --> 00:16:03,528
Here, put these on
and take a few shots.
319
00:16:03,568 --> 00:16:06,737
I'm just going to go check
on Michael so he's not alone.
320
00:16:06,779 --> 00:16:07,905
Cologne?
321
00:16:09,698 --> 00:16:12,158
Oh, yeah, I mixed
a bunch of different ones
322
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,560
and, you know,
I make my own scent.
323
00:16:19,997 --> 00:16:21,456
Hey, Michael.
324
00:16:21,498 --> 00:16:24,041
Do you want me to hold your
shoulders while you shoot,
325
00:16:24,082 --> 00:16:25,583
or maybe square off your thighs?
326
00:16:29,127 --> 00:16:31,879
You know whose thighs
need squaring off?
327
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,339
Fez's.
328
00:16:33,381 --> 00:16:34,547
Yeah, bad.
329
00:16:35,507 --> 00:16:36,799
Oh, and by the way,
330
00:16:36,841 --> 00:16:39,259
he also told me that
he thinks you're really nice.
331
00:16:39,301 --> 00:16:41,677
Oh, well, he's nice, too.
332
00:16:41,719 --> 00:16:44,012
And now that I can understand
some of what he's saying,
333
00:16:44,054 --> 00:16:45,138
he's kind of charming.
334
00:16:47,264 --> 00:16:49,682
Oh, look, a rabbit.
335
00:16:49,724 --> 00:16:51,266
I love animals.
336
00:16:52,684 --> 00:16:54,477
You know who
really loves animals?
337
00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:56,145
Fez.
338
00:16:56,187 --> 00:16:57,270
- He does?
- Yeah.
339
00:16:57,312 --> 00:16:59,105
The bunny!
340
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,695
I got dinner!
341
00:17:14,698 --> 00:17:18,076
And then my dad actually
gave me a compliment.
342
00:17:18,117 --> 00:17:20,202
"My son's a
fine young man."
343
00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:29,210
That's, like, the most loving thing
he's said to me since he told me that
344
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:30,624
I could be worse.
345
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:37,213
Are you sure Red
was talking about you?
346
00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:39,589
I mean, I love you, but you
are a little high maintenance.
347
00:17:41,507 --> 00:17:42,966
And not in a good way like me.
348
00:17:46,302 --> 00:17:48,571
Remember when it took Red all
summer to teach you how to catch a ball
349
00:17:48,595 --> 00:17:49,874
'cause you were
too scared of it?
350
00:17:51,847 --> 00:17:53,686
First, Red had him
look at a picture of a ball.
351
00:17:54,806 --> 00:17:56,517
Then he put him in
a room with a ball.
352
00:17:57,435 --> 00:17:58,976
And then he moves him closer
353
00:17:59,018 --> 00:18:01,177
until he wasn't screaming
being right next to the ball.
354
00:18:02,938 --> 00:18:04,897
What is so scary about a ball?
355
00:18:04,939 --> 00:18:07,274
It's that... People throw
it right at you, okay?
356
00:18:10,984 --> 00:18:12,818
I'm sorry about what I did
to that poor bunny.
357
00:18:15,153 --> 00:18:17,696
I guess my gun really had
a "hare" trigger, huh?
358
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,450
Too soon?
Yes, too soon.
359
00:18:23,492 --> 00:18:25,659
Well, I apologize for
ruining our first date.
360
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,203
Our first date?
361
00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:30,539
No, I was there on
a date with Michael.
362
00:18:30,581 --> 00:18:32,623
What? No, no, he told me
we were on a date.
363
00:18:32,664 --> 00:18:35,250
He told me we were on a date.
364
00:18:35,292 --> 00:18:36,691
You and me "we,"
or he and you "we"?
365
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,962
I think one of us
has been lied to.
366
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:42,379
And the other one, too!
367
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:46,466
Well, then, you should be
very angry, which means
368
00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:47,799
I am, too!
369
00:18:50,093 --> 00:18:53,386
Hey, why don't you
two kiss and make up?
370
00:18:53,428 --> 00:18:55,472
Michael, what kind of game
are you playing,
371
00:18:55,513 --> 00:18:57,556
inviting me on a date
that wasn't with you?
372
00:18:57,598 --> 00:19:00,641
Yeah, I second that,
but about her,
373
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,935
and add,
"You son of a bitch!"
374
00:19:07,812 --> 00:19:10,647
Okay, look, I have a really
good explanation for this.
375
00:19:11,273 --> 00:19:12,483
But I left it at home.
376
00:19:16,859 --> 00:19:18,069
Oh, Dad.
377
00:19:18,111 --> 00:19:20,988
Uh, about what you said to
the stress management guy.
378
00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:22,196
I just wanted to say thanks.
379
00:19:22,238 --> 00:19:24,697
Okay, okay.
You said it.
380
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:26,283
We're both embarrassed,
now move along.
381
00:19:28,409 --> 00:19:31,911
No, I mean, look, I could be
a little less of a smart ass.
382
00:19:32,702 --> 00:19:34,246
And you're my father.
383
00:19:34,288 --> 00:19:35,663
Your life matters to me.
384
00:19:37,081 --> 00:19:38,999
- So, anyway, Dad, I...
- Eric,
385
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,251
If you say "I love you,"
my heart is going to explode.
386
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:48,130
Ah, kitty, uh,
what's for dinner?
387
00:19:48,172 --> 00:19:49,922
Well, the camera's off,
388
00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:51,673
so I'm having
a margarita with salt.
389
00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:55,717
You two are on your own.
390
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:03,973
Kelso.
391
00:20:05,932 --> 00:20:09,393
So, this is where you go after
a hard day of screwing me over!
392
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:14,104
All right, look,
Fez, I'm really sorry.
393
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,356
Zip it, fool!
394
00:20:17,064 --> 00:20:18,399
You stole my girl.
395
00:20:18,441 --> 00:20:20,025
And I really need a girl.
396
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:22,568
Here, Fez.
397
00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:25,129
You're probably going to want
some personal time with the couch.
398
00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:27,946
I even plumped up
the pillows for you.
399
00:20:30,491 --> 00:20:32,241
No, I cannot be
in the same room with him.
400
00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:34,784
You and I are through.
401
00:20:35,785 --> 00:20:36,827
Now good day.
402
00:20:38,496 --> 00:20:39,538
But, Fez...
403
00:20:46,959 --> 00:20:49,002
Fez? He said,
"But, Fez."
404
00:20:49,044 --> 00:20:50,085
Oh, I heard him.
405
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,381
Well, now you're
supposed to say...
406
00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:55,714
"I say good day."
407
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:01,486
Yeah, and then we all know
that you're really mad,
408
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:02,927
but eventually,
you'll get over it.
409
00:21:02,969 --> 00:21:04,094
Oh, you'd like that.
410
00:21:05,012 --> 00:21:06,347
"Dance, monkey, dance."
411
00:21:08,723 --> 00:21:10,807
Well, Kelso, this monkey
don't dance no more.
412
00:21:12,142 --> 00:21:13,393
But, Fez...
413
00:21:13,434 --> 00:21:14,810
I said, "Good day!"
Arrrh!
414
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,859
Wow, Fez, it was so nice
of you to make dinner for us.
415
00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:27,610
Yeah, this is amazing.
416
00:21:27,652 --> 00:21:29,531
Well, food always tastes
better when it's fresh.
417
00:21:34,531 --> 00:21:36,491
So, what is this, anyway?
418
00:21:36,533 --> 00:21:39,052
Well, let's just say that the
Easter Bunny came early this year,
419
00:21:41,869 --> 00:21:42,868
so I shot him.
420
00:21:42,892 --> 00:21:44,892
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