1
00:00:04,121 --> 00:00:06,165
Oh, Steven, there you are.
2
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:07,708
I almost didn't
recognize you without
3
00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:09,470
a disgusting stripper
attached to your lips.
4
00:00:11,295 --> 00:00:13,714
Huh? Well,
I recognized you right away.
5
00:00:13,756 --> 00:00:17,094
Since you walked in here alone,
with no job and no boyfriend.
6
00:00:18,553 --> 00:00:20,221
Oh, this sounds like fun.
7
00:00:22,265 --> 00:00:24,268
Someone say
something mean about me.
8
00:00:25,603 --> 00:00:27,271
I don't think so, Fez.
9
00:00:27,313 --> 00:00:29,273
Oh, come on,
you never let me play.
10
00:00:30,733 --> 00:00:32,820
Fine. You're stupid
and you're fat.
11
00:00:37,324 --> 00:00:39,409
That was
completely uncalled for.
12
00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,247
What is Donna
doing out with Randy?
13
00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:44,958
When I called her earlier today
14
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,184
to see if she
wanted to do something,
15
00:00:46,208 --> 00:00:48,170
she said she was
staying in all day.
16
00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:51,799
I mean, I was gonna blow her
off at the last minute, but still.
17
00:00:51,841 --> 00:00:54,153
Yeah. And yesterday when I
went to spy on her from her closet,
18
00:00:54,177 --> 00:00:56,220
she was already out with Randy.
19
00:00:59,182 --> 00:01:01,226
That guy is really
cutting into my peep-time.
20
00:01:04,521 --> 00:01:07,149
Do you think something is going
on between Donna and Randy?
21
00:01:07,191 --> 00:01:08,525
Steven, what do you think?
22
00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,319
I have a definite
opinion on this.
23
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,238
I don't care.
24
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,241
You just don't like to gossip.
25
00:01:15,282 --> 00:01:16,910
Which is good,
because you should
26
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,494
hear what people say about you.
27
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,224
Well, if you guys
are gonna act like
28
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,559
a bunch of immature
babies, go ahead.
29
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,501
Now, if you'll excuse me,
30
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:25,937
I'm gonna drive my car
through some really big puddles
31
00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,755
and splash some old people.
32
00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:29,966
Hey.
Hi.
33
00:01:30,884 --> 00:01:32,385
Where have you two been?
34
00:01:32,427 --> 00:01:34,679
We went and saw Rocky II.
It was awesome.
35
00:01:34,721 --> 00:01:37,100
This chubby guy in the
audience got all inspired
36
00:01:37,141 --> 00:01:40,061
and then punched out an usher.
37
00:01:40,103 --> 00:01:42,688
Donna, does Eric know you took
another man to the movies?
38
00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:46,401
Actually, I invited her. I won
tickets from a radio station.
39
00:01:46,443 --> 00:01:47,861
My cousin's a DJ.
40
00:01:47,903 --> 00:01:50,321
So I just called him up and
told him the phrase that pays.
41
00:01:50,363 --> 00:01:52,699
My mom has a picture of you
and your sister in the bathtub.
42
00:01:54,618 --> 00:01:58,623
But, why I wonder, did you
invite Donna instead of any of us?
43
00:01:58,664 --> 00:02:01,584
Is it because she is
beautiful, blonde and curvy?
44
00:02:01,626 --> 00:02:04,295
Actually, you know what,
that's a good choice.
45
00:02:05,214 --> 00:02:07,133
Fries up for Donna and Randy.
46
00:02:07,174 --> 00:02:08,300
That's us.
47
00:02:10,636 --> 00:02:12,679
Look at them!
They're sharing fries!
48
00:02:14,808 --> 00:02:17,978
I know. And did you see how
fast Randy changed the subject
49
00:02:18,019 --> 00:02:19,229
when you mentioned Eric?
50
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:21,564
Yeah, something
is definitely up.
51
00:02:21,606 --> 00:02:25,402
The needle on the Hanky-Panky
meter is all the way up to Panky!
52
00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:28,114
You know what? I think
Donna is cheating on Eric.
53
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,325
Oh, my God,
I think you're right.
54
00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:33,662
That is awful.
55
00:02:33,703 --> 00:02:35,503
I can just picture that
hot-blooded seductress
56
00:02:35,538 --> 00:02:37,916
giving it away in
a sweaty moment of lust.
57
00:02:40,002 --> 00:02:41,754
Oh, why do I do that to myself?
58
00:02:46,509 --> 00:02:48,343
♪ Hanging out
59
00:02:50,096 --> 00:02:52,057
♪ Down the street
60
00:02:53,684 --> 00:02:55,560
♪ The same old thing
61
00:02:57,271 --> 00:02:59,355
♪ We did last week
62
00:03:00,692 --> 00:03:04,070
♪ Not a thing to do
63
00:03:04,863 --> 00:03:07,406
♪ But talk to you
64
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:10,286
♪ We're all all right
65
00:03:10,328 --> 00:03:12,788
♪ We're all all right
66
00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:14,748
♪ Hello, Wisconsin! ♪
67
00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:25,677
Kitty! I just got
a letter from the
68
00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:27,930
Point Place
Veterans Association.
69
00:03:27,972 --> 00:03:29,724
Our reunion is coming up.
70
00:03:29,765 --> 00:03:32,560
It is so nice to have a place
where everyone applauds
71
00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:34,395
after you say how
many people you shot.
72
00:03:37,358 --> 00:03:39,902
And this year is
gonna be special.
73
00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:41,278
You remember Larry Simmens?
74
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,240
The fellow who
won the Bronze Star on D-Day?
75
00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:46,534
Yep. The bastard
finally died.
76
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,247
Struck by lightning.
77
00:03:50,288 --> 00:03:51,581
The sucker could dodge a bullet
78
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:54,667
but Mother Nature got
him right in the ass.
79
00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:57,088
Well, I hope someone shouted,
"Fire in the hole."
80
00:03:58,422 --> 00:04:00,049
And now that he's gone,
81
00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:02,676
I'll be the most
decorated soldier there.
82
00:04:02,718 --> 00:04:06,932
Which means the added respect
of my peers plus enough free booze
83
00:04:06,973 --> 00:04:09,017
to fill Mike Kaleigh's fake leg.
84
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,437
You know,
whenever you soldier buddies
85
00:04:12,478 --> 00:04:14,357
get together you have cocktails.
86
00:04:14,399 --> 00:04:16,276
I should have been in the army.
87
00:04:18,319 --> 00:04:20,529
Hey, look!
I finally got invited to
88
00:04:20,571 --> 00:04:23,700
the Point Place
veterans' reunion. What?
89
00:04:23,742 --> 00:04:26,120
They don't invite
National Guardsmen.
90
00:04:26,161 --> 00:04:28,538
They didn't.
But I wrote a bunch of
91
00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:30,380
angry letters until they
changed their policy.
92
00:04:32,501 --> 00:04:34,921
Well, that's just great, Bob.
93
00:04:34,963 --> 00:04:37,548
Maybe if you'd written a
bunch of angry letters to Hitler
94
00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:40,009
we could've avoided
a war in the first place.
95
00:04:41,261 --> 00:04:43,639
I don't think that
would have worked.
96
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,475
That Hitler seemed
like a real cranky bear.
97
00:04:48,852 --> 00:04:52,023
Oh, Red, the vets needed
someone to hire a photographer.
98
00:04:52,065 --> 00:04:54,109
So I signed you up to find one.
99
00:04:54,151 --> 00:04:57,028
Why would you do that?
100
00:04:57,070 --> 00:05:00,699
Because I felt like I
wasn't contributing.
101
00:05:00,741 --> 00:05:02,493
You should hire Leo
to be your photographer.
102
00:05:02,534 --> 00:05:04,829
He's like a pro.
Shot all my fake IDs.
103
00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:08,666
I'm not taking a hippie
down to the Veterans Hall.
104
00:05:08,707 --> 00:05:10,210
They wouldn't put up with it.
105
00:05:10,252 --> 00:05:12,545
The bathrooms have
Jane Fonda urinal targets.
106
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,761
You know, Leo took some pretty
great pictures of Bob and Midge
107
00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:20,888
when they renewed their vows.
108
00:05:20,930 --> 00:05:23,516
He even got a rare
one of Red smiling.
109
00:05:26,269 --> 00:05:28,063
I sent it to the museum.
110
00:05:30,107 --> 00:05:33,027
Well, if you wanna ask him,
he's down in the basement.
111
00:05:33,068 --> 00:05:35,404
What's Leo doing in my basement?
112
00:05:36,155 --> 00:05:37,449
I don't know.
113
00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:41,953
But, just to be safe,
why don't you give it
114
00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:44,080
about 15 minutes
before you come down?
115
00:05:48,919 --> 00:05:51,964
So, Leo, Steven tells me
that you're a photographer.
116
00:05:52,798 --> 00:05:54,050
How much do you charge?
117
00:05:54,091 --> 00:05:57,553
Not much, man. I try to
pay for everything with cash.
118
00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:01,808
Okay, never mind.
119
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,453
Come on, Red, he's really
good and he works cheap.
120
00:06:03,477 --> 00:06:04,896
Leo, tell him what your fee is.
121
00:06:04,937 --> 00:06:06,272
A hundred bucks.
122
00:06:06,314 --> 00:06:07,524
How about $75?
123
00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:09,859
$50 and that's my final offer.
124
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,866
And if you bargain with him
when you get there,
125
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,468
you'll probably wind
up making 10 bucks.
126
00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:20,496
$15.
127
00:06:25,293 --> 00:06:27,337
Okay, fine, you're hired.
128
00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:29,548
But this is a big night for me.
129
00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:32,217
So I want you to
clean up and look nice.
130
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:35,513
These men are veterans.
They deserve your respect.
131
00:06:35,555 --> 00:06:38,099
Hey, I'm cool
with veterans, man.
132
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:41,602
Anybody that can put
a cast on a dog is okay by me.
133
00:06:48,693 --> 00:06:51,364
Hey, if you guys see Donna, can
you tell her I'm down at The Hub?
134
00:06:51,406 --> 00:06:53,783
Okay, did you guys have plans?
135
00:06:53,824 --> 00:06:56,494
Yeah, we were gonna
hang out at her house,
136
00:06:56,536 --> 00:06:58,871
but I get a little
uncomfortable with Bob there.
137
00:06:58,913 --> 00:07:01,234
You know, most people wear
underwear when they wear a robe.
138
00:07:09,216 --> 00:07:11,636
Did you hear that?
"Hang out."
139
00:07:12,762 --> 00:07:14,556
They are going to have sex.
140
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,767
How does hang out mean have sex?
141
00:07:17,809 --> 00:07:19,853
I can make a sexual innuendo
out of anything.
142
00:07:19,895 --> 00:07:21,397
Try me.
143
00:07:23,357 --> 00:07:25,276
Stove.
144
00:07:25,318 --> 00:07:28,155
Well, I'd like to cook
something on her stove.
145
00:07:28,196 --> 00:07:29,781
See? Anything!
146
00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:34,995
Oh, my God, Fez,
I feel really bad for Eric.
147
00:07:35,036 --> 00:07:37,790
When Michael was cheating
on me, I was devastated.
148
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,251
But eventually I learned
that the saying is true.
149
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,629
It's better to have loved
and lost than to be butt-ugly.
150
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,048
Oh, hey, Miss Kitty.
151
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,426
Hi.
Okay.
152
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:50,095
We need some advice.
153
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:55,225
There is this guy whose
girlfriend is cheating on him.
154
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,646
What do you think we should do?
155
00:07:57,687 --> 00:08:01,149
Well, Red and I once had
a friend named Bill Anderson
156
00:08:01,191 --> 00:08:03,610
and everyone thought his
wife was cheating on him.
157
00:08:03,652 --> 00:08:06,113
So one night, we were over there
158
00:08:06,155 --> 00:08:08,699
and I happened to see her purse
159
00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:12,662
and it happened to be open
and I happened to riffle through it
160
00:08:13,663 --> 00:08:15,290
and I found out it was true.
161
00:08:16,249 --> 00:08:17,250
So you told Bill?
162
00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:18,793
No, no, no, no.
163
00:08:18,835 --> 00:08:21,713
I do not like to get involved
in other people's business.
164
00:08:22,631 --> 00:08:24,592
But I wish I had.
165
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,153
Because it might have
saved their marriage
166
00:08:26,177 --> 00:08:28,054
and I'd still be getting
their Christmas cards.
167
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:33,644
Antlers on a dog,
that is so precious.
168
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,399
Fez, I know what we need to do.
169
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,108
Yeah, me, too.
But where are we
170
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:41,777
going to find
a dog with antlers?
171
00:08:43,613 --> 00:08:45,132
No, Fez. We need
to write Eric a letter
172
00:08:45,156 --> 00:08:47,283
telling him what is going on
between Donna and Randy.
173
00:08:47,325 --> 00:08:49,244
Yeah, then Eric
is gonna come home,
174
00:08:49,285 --> 00:08:52,206
kick Randy's ass and then whisk
Donna off to someplace sexy.
175
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,043
Like the garage.
176
00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,878
What?
177
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,591
How is the garage sexy?
178
00:09:00,632 --> 00:09:02,926
Well, I'd like to park
my car in her garage.
179
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:12,729
Leo? This is
an important event.
180
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:14,522
I thought I told
you to clean up.
181
00:09:14,564 --> 00:09:18,694
I did, man.
My apartment is spotless.
182
00:09:20,446 --> 00:09:24,032
You're supposed to wear a
military uniform to these things.
183
00:09:24,074 --> 00:09:25,784
That's why I rented this baby.
184
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:29,497
Just be ready with
that camera, Leo.
185
00:09:29,539 --> 00:09:31,499
And keep it
pointed nice and low.
186
00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:35,629
I want a lot of close-ups of all
those patriotic men kissing my ass.
187
00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:41,885
Hey there, soldiers.
188
00:09:41,927 --> 00:09:44,388
Holy cow!
Look who it is!
189
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:45,889
As you were, men.
190
00:09:45,931 --> 00:09:47,016
It's Leonard.
191
00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:50,853
Leonard?
Who the hell is Leonard?
192
00:09:50,895 --> 00:09:52,355
Hey, I'm Leonard.
193
00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,233
Hey!
194
00:09:55,275 --> 00:09:56,527
Hi there!
195
00:09:57,695 --> 00:10:01,073
Hey, how do you guys know him?
196
00:10:01,115 --> 00:10:03,701
We drove a supply truck
together during World War II.
197
00:10:03,743 --> 00:10:06,538
Leo? You're a veteran?
198
00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:08,749
How come you never told me?
199
00:10:08,791 --> 00:10:12,377
Well, there is a lot of things
you don't know about me, man.
200
00:10:12,419 --> 00:10:14,922
For instance, I'm a veteran.
201
00:10:20,637 --> 00:10:23,390
It's been two weeks since
we send Eric our letter.
202
00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:25,685
Shouldn't he be home by now?
203
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,894
Well, it takes about a week
to get a letter to Africa,
204
00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:31,273
then there is three days of
Eric twitching and fidgeting.
205
00:10:31,315 --> 00:10:33,610
Oh, then there is a two day
hippo-ride to the airport.
206
00:10:33,652 --> 00:10:37,238
So, yeah,
he should be home by now.
207
00:10:38,865 --> 00:10:40,992
When is Samantha
coming back anyway?
208
00:10:41,034 --> 00:10:42,596
Oh, she's gotta stay
in Vegas for another
209
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,014
week 'cause there's
a doctors convention.
210
00:10:44,038 --> 00:10:46,081
Which proves my
theory that no one
211
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,875
gets tired of
seeing naked ladies.
212
00:10:49,627 --> 00:10:52,088
Hey, Donna,
I'm glad you're here.
213
00:10:52,130 --> 00:10:55,509
Have you heard from Eric? You
know, your supposed boyfriend?
214
00:10:58,011 --> 00:11:00,181
Actually I haven't
heard from Eric in a while.
215
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,684
Really?
216
00:11:05,019 --> 00:11:06,479
Hey, look, Fez,
it says right here
217
00:11:06,521 --> 00:11:07,856
some moron got
punched in the arm
218
00:11:07,897 --> 00:11:09,658
for sticking his nose
where it didn't belong.
219
00:11:12,403 --> 00:11:13,696
When?
220
00:11:14,446 --> 00:11:16,031
Now.
221
00:11:18,283 --> 00:11:20,704
So, Donna.
222
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:24,833
I don't know, is there any relationship
news you'd like to share with us?
223
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,793
Look, I really don't
want to talk about it.
224
00:11:26,835 --> 00:11:30,922
Oh! So that means, there
is something to talk about?
225
00:11:30,964 --> 00:11:33,551
Yeah. Spill it, girl!
226
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,554
Will you just drop it?
227
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,849
No. Not until you tell us
when Eric is coming home.
228
00:11:38,891 --> 00:11:41,142
What? He is not coming home.
229
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,394
Eric broke up with me.
230
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:43,729
Yes!
231
00:11:47,108 --> 00:11:50,944
Is not what you say
when you hear that news.
232
00:11:59,954 --> 00:12:01,015
Did you two have something to do
233
00:12:01,039 --> 00:12:02,708
with Forman and
Donna breaking up?
234
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:04,669
Are you suggesting...
235
00:12:04,711 --> 00:12:06,379
Yeah, yes, we did.
236
00:12:08,590 --> 00:12:10,675
But we never...
237
00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:12,093
Actually we did that, too.
238
00:12:13,595 --> 00:12:15,180
But you can also blame...
239
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:21,437
Actually there is
no one else to blame.
240
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:24,650
Look, Steven, all we did
was write a letter to Eric
241
00:12:24,691 --> 00:12:26,811
telling him that Donna was
cheating on him with Randy.
242
00:12:27,611 --> 00:12:29,905
What, my magic 8-ball
said it was a good idea
243
00:12:29,947 --> 00:12:31,364
and that thing is
right like, what,
244
00:12:31,406 --> 00:12:35,536
one out of six times which
is pretty good for a ball.
245
00:12:35,578 --> 00:12:38,997
If you two were puppies, I'd smack
you in the nose with a magazine.
246
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:41,877
In fact...
247
00:12:44,003 --> 00:12:46,757
You two idiots need
to tell Donna what you did.
248
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,467
Are you kidding?
249
00:12:48,509 --> 00:12:51,346
No, no, no, no. She'll stomp
on us with her giant feet.
250
00:12:53,431 --> 00:12:57,393
I do not want the last words
I hear to be Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum!
251
00:12:57,435 --> 00:12:59,789
Yeah. It's gonna get ugly. That's
why I'm gonna come with you.
252
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,023
To protect us?
No, to watch.
253
00:13:05,653 --> 00:13:09,030
I can't believe
that Leo is a veteran.
254
00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:10,951
I don't know whether
to like him a little more
255
00:13:10,993 --> 00:13:13,035
or like myself a little less.
256
00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:16,707
Red, this was supposed
to be your special night.
257
00:13:16,748 --> 00:13:19,210
We should be the ones
over there getting free drinks.
258
00:13:19,251 --> 00:13:20,419
We?
259
00:13:21,546 --> 00:13:23,715
I spent all my
money on this costume.
260
00:13:28,136 --> 00:13:30,931
So, Leo, what exactly
did you do in the war?
261
00:13:30,973 --> 00:13:34,267
I mean, besides just
drive a supply truck.
262
00:13:34,309 --> 00:13:38,648
Just drive a supply truck? Leo,
did you tell them what you did?
263
00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:41,234
No. It's embarrassing.
264
00:13:42,276 --> 00:13:44,320
You gotta tell them.
265
00:13:44,362 --> 00:13:47,658
All right.
I peed on Jane Fonda.
266
00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:53,664
Leo here drove his truck right
into a German tank formation
267
00:13:53,706 --> 00:13:55,625
and rescued an entire platoon.
268
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,753
Really?
269
00:13:57,794 --> 00:13:59,254
Didn't you get a medal for that?
270
00:13:59,295 --> 00:14:01,631
Yeah.
I forget what it was called,
271
00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:03,550
but it was shaped
like a purple heart.
272
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,303
Damn, Leo.
273
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,557
I'm impressed.
274
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:13,352
From one veteran to another,
I'd like to buy you a drink.
275
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,689
Actually I'd like
to buy you a drink.
276
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:17,106
I'll take a drink.
277
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:23,865
Sorry. This round is for men
who fought for Uncle Sam.
278
00:14:23,907 --> 00:14:28,327
Not spent the war hiding
in their Uncle Sam's house.
279
00:14:28,369 --> 00:14:32,499
Hey, man, even if he didn't see
action, he still deserves a drink.
280
00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:33,960
All right, fine.
281
00:14:34,001 --> 00:14:37,129
Bartender, one Shirley Temple!
282
00:14:46,264 --> 00:14:48,892
Hey, Donna, sorry to interrupt,
283
00:14:48,934 --> 00:14:51,562
but Nancy Drew
and Nancy-boy here
284
00:14:51,604 --> 00:14:54,690
have something
they'd like to tell you.
285
00:14:54,732 --> 00:14:57,192
That's where Fez comes in.
Take it away, Fez.
286
00:14:58,611 --> 00:15:00,322
You sneaky little midget.
287
00:15:04,159 --> 00:15:07,162
Okay. Donna...
288
00:15:08,413 --> 00:15:10,059
We are the reason why
Eric broke up with you.
289
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,310
We wrote him
a letter saying that
290
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:13,044
you were cheating
with Mr. Fancy Hair.
291
00:15:14,462 --> 00:15:17,214
What? Oh, come on,
how does he even do that?
292
00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:20,427
Let me clear
a couple of things up.
293
00:15:20,469 --> 00:15:21,929
Donna and I are just friends
294
00:15:21,971 --> 00:15:24,098
and I blow dry this
hair upside down.
295
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,770
Why would you even think
that I was cheating with Randy?
296
00:15:28,812 --> 00:15:31,356
Oh, they have it on
the strongest authority.
297
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:34,192
A fluid-filled plastic novelty
ball from Parker Brothers.
298
00:15:36,028 --> 00:15:37,571
Look, the reason that we've been
299
00:15:37,613 --> 00:15:40,116
hanging out so
much lately is because
300
00:15:40,158 --> 00:15:41,176
Randy was the only
one I could talk to
301
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,743
about how Eric broke up with me.
302
00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:46,414
Three weeks ago.
303
00:15:46,456 --> 00:15:48,500
Three weeks ago?
That means...
304
00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:50,836
That he broke up with you
before we sent the letter.
305
00:15:50,878 --> 00:15:52,462
Fez, it's not our fault!
306
00:15:52,504 --> 00:15:55,256
Oh, Eric just doesn't like
Donna anymore. Oh, happy day!
307
00:15:58,053 --> 00:15:59,804
Why didn't you tell us?
308
00:15:59,846 --> 00:16:02,515
Because I knew that if I told you
guys, Fez would only hit on me,
309
00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,245
Jackie would hurt my
feelings trying to be nice
310
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:07,897
and you would
just shrug and go...
311
00:16:10,024 --> 00:16:12,234
How can you say that?
Tell me I'm wrong.
312
00:16:12,609 --> 00:16:13,777
Nah.
313
00:16:15,363 --> 00:16:18,116
And it's not like I went
looking for Randy. I mean...
314
00:16:18,158 --> 00:16:19,701
I was taking
the garbage out one day.
315
00:16:19,743 --> 00:16:22,871
He was playing hoops and
he said, "Hey, how is it going?"
316
00:16:22,913 --> 00:16:24,415
So I took the basketball,
317
00:16:24,456 --> 00:16:26,376
I threw it through a window
and burst into tears.
318
00:16:28,627 --> 00:16:30,707
I think that's when he knew
that something was wrong.
319
00:16:31,714 --> 00:16:33,675
I'm very astute.
320
00:16:35,301 --> 00:16:39,139
And he's been really great.
He listened, he brought me stuff.
321
00:16:39,181 --> 00:16:41,601
Ice cream,
Kleenex and bubble bath.
322
00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:43,019
It's the universal break-up kit.
323
00:16:43,061 --> 00:16:44,812
I read about it in Vogue.
324
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,151
I have five sisters.
325
00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:53,822
Fine, I don't have any
sisters. I read Vogue!
326
00:16:53,864 --> 00:16:56,242
Donna, this must have
been really hard on you.
327
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,536
Yeah. I can't believe
Eric and Donna are through.
328
00:16:59,578 --> 00:17:01,099
I always thought they'd
live happily ever after,
329
00:17:01,123 --> 00:17:02,999
like Romeo and Juliet.
330
00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:06,711
Have you ever read
Romeo and Juliet?
331
00:17:06,753 --> 00:17:09,047
I didn't have to finish it.
It is so obvious what happens.
332
00:17:11,217 --> 00:17:13,695
I'm sorry. I should have never
accused you for cheating on Eric.
333
00:17:13,719 --> 00:17:17,681
Yeah. And Randy,
I owe you an apology.
334
00:17:17,723 --> 00:17:20,144
Not just for the letter,
335
00:17:20,185 --> 00:17:22,187
but for letting the air
out of your tires.
336
00:17:23,814 --> 00:17:26,150
That's okay, man.
We're even.
337
00:17:26,191 --> 00:17:27,525
We are?
What did you do to me?
338
00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:28,736
This!
339
00:17:30,863 --> 00:17:32,657
I heard that makes
you pee yourself.
340
00:17:32,698 --> 00:17:34,284
That's ridiculous!
341
00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:44,377
This isn't over!
342
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:50,468
I'm so surprised
you were in the army, Leo.
343
00:17:50,510 --> 00:17:54,347
I just can't picture
you shining your shoes.
344
00:17:54,388 --> 00:17:56,725
Can't really picture
you finding your shoes.
345
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,354
Yeah, well,
I fought for my country
346
00:18:00,395 --> 00:18:02,064
and I have
the scars to prove it.
347
00:18:02,106 --> 00:18:05,861
Hey, me, too. Look at that.
348
00:18:05,902 --> 00:18:08,446
Guadalcanal, 1942.
349
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,574
I took some shrapnel,
spent a month in the hospital.
350
00:18:11,616 --> 00:18:14,370
That's how I met Bob Hope.
351
00:18:14,411 --> 00:18:17,373
Bastard made me laugh even
though I had two busted ribs.
352
00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:21,211
Dumb ass comedian.
353
00:18:23,047 --> 00:18:24,381
Check this out.
354
00:18:27,134 --> 00:18:29,261
I don't see anything.
355
00:18:29,303 --> 00:18:31,388
Yeah, it's more of
an emotional scar.
356
00:18:33,266 --> 00:18:35,227
Leo, I don't understand how you
357
00:18:35,268 --> 00:18:36,978
could go from decorated war hero
358
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:39,397
to hippie degenerate.
359
00:18:39,438 --> 00:18:42,401
Well, it all started the day
I got back to the States.
360
00:18:44,528 --> 00:18:47,698
My buddy and I
were saying goodbye.
361
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:50,034
What are you gonna do now
that the war is over, Leonard?
362
00:18:50,076 --> 00:18:52,429
First I'm going back home to
work in my dad's pharmacy for a bit
363
00:18:52,453 --> 00:18:54,789
and then it's off
to medical school.
364
00:18:55,623 --> 00:18:57,084
See you, pal.
365
00:19:00,338 --> 00:19:03,883
And then these jazz
musicians pulled up in a car.
366
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:12,351
Hey, soldier.
Do you need a ride?
367
00:19:12,393 --> 00:19:14,395
No, it smells kind
of funny in there.
368
00:19:16,479 --> 00:19:18,775
Don't worry, kid.
You'll get used to it.
369
00:19:26,449 --> 00:19:28,244
And that's
the last thing I remember
370
00:19:28,286 --> 00:19:30,162
until you poured me
this cup of coffee.
371
00:19:38,255 --> 00:19:39,464
Yep.
372
00:19:40,006 --> 00:19:41,800
Hey, man.
Hi.
373
00:19:41,841 --> 00:19:44,303
Brought you
something to cheer you up.
374
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,473
A picture of Eric.
375
00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:49,683
And a lighter.
376
00:19:53,313 --> 00:19:56,150
Thanks.
I'll burn it later.
377
00:20:02,072 --> 00:20:03,365
I don't really know what to say.
378
00:20:03,407 --> 00:20:05,160
You wanna tell me what happened?
379
00:20:05,201 --> 00:20:08,830
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't
really that big of a surprise.
380
00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:13,042
Eric said that ever
since he left for Africa,
381
00:20:13,084 --> 00:20:15,879
he felt like our
lives were drifting apart.
382
00:20:15,921 --> 00:20:20,884
So he decided, for the both
of us, that we should move on.
383
00:20:20,926 --> 00:20:23,347
So, I guess we moved on.
384
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,850
You all right?
Yeah. I will be.
385
00:20:29,936 --> 00:20:31,480
Eventually.
386
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:38,863
Well, if you need anything,
you know where I'll be.
387
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:39,905
Thanks, Hyde.
388
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:53,921
And if you need anything
from me, you know where I'll be.
389
00:20:56,383 --> 00:20:57,550
Thanks, Fez.
390
00:21:06,519 --> 00:21:08,645
Dear Eric.
It turns out Donna
391
00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:11,316
was not doing it
with Randy after all.
392
00:21:11,358 --> 00:21:13,735
I jumped to
the wrong conclusion.
393
00:21:13,776 --> 00:21:16,571
But I learned my lesson.
And it won't happen again.
394
00:21:18,198 --> 00:21:22,578
It was so nice having you over,
Leo. You have a safe trip home.
395
00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:26,999
And don't worry.
I remember where I live.
396
00:21:31,296 --> 00:21:35,300
Eric, I have horrible news. Your
mom and Leo are having an affair!
397
00:21:35,324 --> 00:21:37,325
http://hiqve.com/