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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Eric.
20
00:00:06,975 --> 00:00:10,688
I found this in the garage
and I want an explanation.
21
00:00:10,730 --> 00:00:13,401
Okay, when people write stories
and glue the pages together,
22
00:00:13,443 --> 00:00:14,603
it forms what we call a book.
23
00:00:16,657 --> 00:00:20,244
I don't want The Joy of Sex
polluting my house.
24
00:00:23,249 --> 00:00:26,088
The Joy of Sex.
What a load of crap.
25
00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:30,177
That book's for perverts, Red.
26
00:00:31,972 --> 00:00:33,893
You should give it to me
so I can sell it to Fez.
27
00:00:35,811 --> 00:00:37,814
Red, the book is mine.
28
00:00:37,856 --> 00:00:39,577
I put it in the garage
so you would find it.
29
00:00:42,946 --> 00:00:44,197
Uh-oh. I'm late for work.
30
00:00:45,701 --> 00:00:47,495
No, no, no.
I am serious.
31
00:00:47,537 --> 00:00:49,874
It's high time you and I put
some zip back in the bedroom.
32
00:00:49,915 --> 00:00:51,001
Eww!
33
00:00:53,129 --> 00:00:55,382
I got a great idea.
34
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,343
We'll put a TV in the bedroom,
there's your zip.
35
00:01:03,561 --> 00:01:05,647
Okay, I want
the full Fez treatment.
36
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:08,731
A wash, cream rinse, and a lot of
that wiggly stuff you do with your fingers.
37
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:10,612
It's magical.
38
00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:12,408
Abracadabra, baby.
39
00:01:14,452 --> 00:01:15,973
So, Danielle,
what's on your schedule today?
40
00:01:15,997 --> 00:01:17,917
I mean,
besides looking beautiful.
41
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,341
Well, looking beautiful is from
10:00 to 12:00, then I have a date.
42
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,011
Ooh, hot date alert.
43
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:26,553
Tsss!
44
00:01:29,308 --> 00:01:30,351
It's not that hot.
45
00:01:30,393 --> 00:01:31,979
The guy's kind of a knucklehead.
46
00:01:32,021 --> 00:01:33,607
I mean, he's really cute,
47
00:01:33,648 --> 00:01:35,251
but it's like when I talk, he's
not paying attention to me.
48
00:01:35,275 --> 00:01:36,277
Ugh!
49
00:01:38,907 --> 00:01:40,576
I hear this complaint
20 times a day.
50
00:01:42,454 --> 00:01:43,580
You're a treasure.
51
00:01:43,622 --> 00:01:45,343
He should worship you
like a big stone head.
52
00:01:47,294 --> 00:01:49,799
You're so great. You
know, you really get women.
53
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,510
Well, if you mean "get" as in
"understand," then yes, I get them.
54
00:01:52,552 --> 00:01:54,055
But if you mean
"get" as in "get,"
55
00:01:55,599 --> 00:01:56,725
then, no, never.
56
00:01:58,728 --> 00:01:59,981
If I had a woman like you,
57
00:02:00,022 --> 00:02:01,743
I would give her anything
her heart desired.
58
00:02:04,905 --> 00:02:08,076
Maybe I should blow off my
date and go out with a guy like you.
59
00:02:08,118 --> 00:02:11,081
And when I say "a guy like
you," I mean you, specifically.
60
00:02:15,587 --> 00:02:16,673
Wow.
61
00:02:18,342 --> 00:02:20,503
But just to be clear, I still
have a tip coming, right?
62
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,356
♪ Hanging out
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00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,819
♪ Down the street
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00:02:32,738 --> 00:02:34,366
♪ The same old thing
65
00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:38,372
♪ We did last week
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00:02:39,749 --> 00:02:43,672
♪ Not a thing to do
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00:02:43,714 --> 00:02:47,385
♪ But talk to you
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00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:49,223
♪ We're all all right
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00:02:49,264 --> 00:02:50,766
♪ We're all all right ♪
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00:02:51,684 --> 00:02:53,938
Hello, Wisconsin!
71
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,414
Steven.
72
00:03:06,456 --> 00:03:07,768
Steven, would you
please stop doing that?
73
00:03:07,792 --> 00:03:09,045
You're gonna get all Eric-y.
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00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:11,882
Give.
75
00:03:13,385 --> 00:03:14,528
Jackie, boys have to play fight
76
00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:16,429
because they secretly
wanna touch each other.
77
00:03:20,312 --> 00:03:22,690
Yeah, you guys wish
you could play fight.
78
00:03:22,732 --> 00:03:25,111
But girls can't, 'cause it
always turns into a real fight.
79
00:03:26,071 --> 00:03:27,364
Are you seriously telling me
80
00:03:27,406 --> 00:03:29,425
that if Jackie and I wanted
to play fight, we couldn't?
81
00:03:29,449 --> 00:03:31,996
Um, let me listen for the echo
of what I just said.
82
00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:34,119
"Girls can't play fight..."
Yep, that's what I think.
83
00:03:36,836 --> 00:03:38,464
I agree. Girls are bitches.
84
00:03:40,759 --> 00:03:41,760
Really?
85
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,475
- Come on,
Jackie, put your dukes up.
- Okay.
86
00:03:45,516 --> 00:03:46,894
Watch and learn, boys.
87
00:03:51,234 --> 00:03:53,654
See? It's all fun and games.
88
00:03:53,695 --> 00:03:55,365
- Ow, you scratched me!
- Aah!
89
00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:58,787
Get off of me, Bigfoot!
90
00:03:58,829 --> 00:04:01,166
Let go of my hair
or I'll pound your tiny ass!
91
00:04:06,924 --> 00:04:08,302
Spoilsport.
92
00:04:08,344 --> 00:04:10,930
Hey, yours was gonna kill mine.
93
00:04:16,314 --> 00:04:18,859
Ladies, that was pathetic.
94
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:22,281
- What? That wasn't
even real. We're fine.
- Yeah.
95
00:04:22,323 --> 00:04:24,284
I don't know what you're
talking about. I had fun.
96
00:04:25,161 --> 00:04:26,538
Oh, you're so immature!
97
00:04:32,464 --> 00:04:33,944
You guys aren't
going to believe this!
98
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,431
Wait. Were two hot
girls just fighting in here?
99
00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:41,435
No.
100
00:04:42,145 --> 00:04:43,230
Someone is lying.
101
00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:46,527
Anyway.
102
00:04:46,568 --> 00:04:49,532
I was just shampooing this foxy girl,
Danielle, and the next thing I know,
103
00:04:49,573 --> 00:04:51,201
we're making out in
the shampoo closet.
104
00:04:52,118 --> 00:04:53,538
Wait a second.
105
00:04:53,579 --> 00:04:55,099
You're trying to tell me that
you were shampooing a girl
106
00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:56,208
and she got so horny,
107
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,251
she had to make out with you
in the shampoo closet?
108
00:04:59,213 --> 00:05:01,454
That doesn't sound real, man.
That sounds like a Mad Lib.
109
00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,517
Yeah, are you sure you
weren't just kissing a mop?
110
00:05:11,689 --> 00:05:13,050
'Cause, man, I've
seen you do that.
111
00:05:14,486 --> 00:05:16,155
No, no.
112
00:05:16,197 --> 00:05:17,532
Danielle kept going on and on
113
00:05:17,574 --> 00:05:19,660
about this adorable
knucklehead she was dating,
114
00:05:19,702 --> 00:05:21,302
and I just sympathized
with her problems.
115
00:05:22,582 --> 00:05:24,251
Well, that makes sense.
116
00:05:24,293 --> 00:05:26,414
I mean, all a woman really
wants is a man who listens.
117
00:05:27,046 --> 00:05:28,591
I listen.
118
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,051
And doesn't pat
himself on the back.
119
00:05:32,555 --> 00:05:34,141
I never pat myself on the back.
120
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,421
So, yeah,
I got that going for me.
121
00:05:38,482 --> 00:05:40,610
You guys,
something happened today
122
00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:42,362
that has never
happened to me before.
123
00:05:42,404 --> 00:05:43,489
Oh, you did long division?
124
00:05:46,243 --> 00:05:47,869
No, I got stood up.
125
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,348
I was supposed to
meet this girl, Danielle,
126
00:05:49,372 --> 00:05:51,501
after her haircut
and she never showed.
127
00:05:51,542 --> 00:05:55,549
- Danielle.
- Danielle?
128
00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:57,676
Okay, wait a second. First
a girl fight and now this?
129
00:05:58,303 --> 00:05:59,679
I vote, "Best Day Ever."
130
00:06:04,103 --> 00:06:06,273
Kelso was
the adorable knucklehead.
131
00:06:08,276 --> 00:06:10,397
Hey, thanks, Fez, but I'm
trying to tell a story here.
132
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,744
Okay, so I've been trying to
figure out why she didn't show,
133
00:06:14,786 --> 00:06:17,123
and I've come to the
only logical conclusion,
134
00:06:17,165 --> 00:06:18,376
she's dead.
135
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,277
Kelso, maybe Danielle met a
guy that she likes better than you.
136
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,803
Don't be crazy, Fez.
137
00:06:25,845 --> 00:06:27,766
Danielle is dead and
we can never bring her back.
138
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:35,235
Kitty, we don't need
The Joy of Sex.
139
00:06:36,152 --> 00:06:38,113
Well, why not?
It's not dirty.
140
00:06:38,155 --> 00:06:40,116
This book, it doesn't even
have photographs,
141
00:06:41,994 --> 00:06:42,995
just sketches.
142
00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:46,125
But they're so detailed.
143
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,337
They draw in every single part,
144
00:06:48,379 --> 00:06:49,590
and it's not to scale.
145
00:06:51,634 --> 00:06:53,345
Oh, here's a fun idea.
146
00:06:53,387 --> 00:06:55,014
Okay.
147
00:06:56,975 --> 00:07:00,314
Instead of throwing away
our old dish towels,
148
00:07:00,356 --> 00:07:02,693
we can use them as blindfolds
149
00:07:02,735 --> 00:07:06,031
and play a sexy bedroom
version of Marco Polo.
150
00:07:08,702 --> 00:07:12,666
Oh, come on. Don't you want to
be one of those fun, older couples?
151
00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:16,464
Kitty, I want us to grow old
and withdraw into ourselves.
152
00:07:19,427 --> 00:07:20,553
Hey, what's for lunch?
153
00:07:21,722 --> 00:07:23,391
Well, I was thinking
of making something,
154
00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:25,645
but that would mean I would
have to look at a cookbook,
155
00:07:25,686 --> 00:07:27,814
and I don't like to learn
new things from books.
156
00:07:31,445 --> 00:07:32,781
Yeah, so is lunch off, or...
157
00:07:34,659 --> 00:07:37,370
I mean, what's the lay
of the lunch land, here?
158
00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:41,001
I don't see why I have to
read a book on bodily functions.
159
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,548
I've never read
a book on eating,
160
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,925
yet I'm extremely well fed.
161
00:07:47,219 --> 00:07:48,638
But I'm not.
Could I get, like...
162
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:52,352
Seriously, like a sandwich or...
163
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,024
Well, you know what?
164
00:07:56,065 --> 00:07:58,945
Nobody is eating unless
you give this book a try.
165
00:07:58,987 --> 00:08:00,865
Until then, I quit cooking.
166
00:08:04,954 --> 00:08:06,624
Wow, I can't believe
I'm asking you this,
167
00:08:08,084 --> 00:08:09,753
but please have
kinky sex with my mother.
168
00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:19,394
No, Danielle,
I love your outfit,
169
00:08:19,435 --> 00:08:21,115
but I just think you
can always go tighter.
170
00:08:22,981 --> 00:08:24,901
Oh, my God,
Danielle, you're alive!
171
00:08:25,903 --> 00:08:26,946
Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
172
00:08:28,615 --> 00:08:30,660
Well, then if you're not dead,
173
00:08:30,703 --> 00:08:32,063
then why did you
blow off our date?
174
00:08:33,373 --> 00:08:34,774
Look at him try
and put it together.
175
00:08:37,128 --> 00:08:38,381
Oh, he's got it now.
176
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:40,926
No, wait, he doesn't.
177
00:08:42,345 --> 00:08:44,056
Yeah, now...
Wow, not yet. Wow.
178
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,813
This is, like,
the slowest burn ever.
179
00:08:48,855 --> 00:08:51,526
This is like how burns were in
the 1800s before we had electricity.
180
00:08:53,111 --> 00:08:54,715
Danielle stood you up
so she could make out
181
00:08:54,739 --> 00:08:56,220
with the adorable
new man in her life.
182
00:08:56,991 --> 00:08:57,992
Ah, me.
183
00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:00,623
That's right. Ah, him.
184
00:09:16,439 --> 00:09:17,439
Don't bump me.
185
00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:19,610
Don't get in my way.
186
00:09:20,695 --> 00:09:22,090
Well, maybe I wouldn't
be in your way
187
00:09:22,114 --> 00:09:23,383
if you could sit still
like a normal person
188
00:09:23,407 --> 00:09:24,993
instead of a vibrating spazoid.
189
00:09:27,748 --> 00:09:29,835
Really. Well, guess what?
190
00:09:29,876 --> 00:09:31,253
You fight like a poor girl.
191
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,969
Get off of me!
192
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,721
Let go of my hair
or I'll pound you.
193
00:09:37,763 --> 00:09:39,015
This ain't over, squatty!
194
00:09:40,517 --> 00:09:42,019
Get off. I'm going.
195
00:09:45,399 --> 00:09:46,586
Hey, if they're going
to keep this up,
196
00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:47,987
we should invest
in a video camera.
197
00:09:50,741 --> 00:09:53,244
All right, Fez. Stand up
so I can kick your ass.
198
00:09:53,286 --> 00:09:55,623
How dare you steal a girl
out from under me?
199
00:09:55,665 --> 00:09:57,186
First of all,
I can do whatever I want.
200
00:09:59,004 --> 00:10:00,983
Second of all, when I saw her,
she was not under you.
201
00:10:01,007 --> 00:10:02,050
She was under moi.
202
00:10:04,178 --> 00:10:07,600
- That's it.
- Whoa, whoa! Guys, listen!
203
00:10:07,642 --> 00:10:09,913
I just realized I am not strong
enough to hold you two apart.
204
00:10:09,937 --> 00:10:11,064
Hyde, come on!
205
00:10:16,112 --> 00:10:17,407
Kelso.
206
00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:18,844
Maybe you shouldn't be
asking what he did,
207
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,680
you should be asking
what you did to let it happen.
208
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,832
Or what you didn't do.
209
00:10:22,874 --> 00:10:24,960
You know, maybe you
just lost your mojo.
210
00:10:25,002 --> 00:10:28,006
Look, a guy can't
just lose his mojo, okay?
211
00:10:30,385 --> 00:10:31,385
Can he?
212
00:10:33,056 --> 00:10:35,493
Well, when was the last time you
made out with two girls at once?
213
00:10:35,517 --> 00:10:36,603
Well, that was...
214
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,106
Oh, no.
215
00:10:40,776 --> 00:10:43,029
I can't remember.
216
00:10:43,071 --> 00:10:44,865
Kissed four different
girls in the same day?
217
00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:46,575
I don't know!
218
00:10:48,245 --> 00:10:49,646
You guys,
I might have lost my mojo.
219
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:53,128
And I got it.
I got your mojo.
220
00:10:55,506 --> 00:10:57,551
Which reminds me,
I also have your yo-yo, so...
221
00:10:59,554 --> 00:11:01,975
You know what?
I want them both back.
222
00:11:02,016 --> 00:11:03,036
Now, how can I
lose a girl to you?
223
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:04,312
You don't even speak English.
224
00:11:06,398 --> 00:11:08,276
Well, Kelso,
look at the bright side.
225
00:11:08,318 --> 00:11:10,600
Danielle is a wonderful girl
who likes me better than you.
226
00:11:11,907 --> 00:11:13,408
Why is that the bright side?
227
00:11:15,036 --> 00:11:17,163
Because...
♪ Burn! ♪
228
00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:30,518
These are stale.
229
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,040
Well, eat slow.
We gotta make them last.
230
00:11:35,693 --> 00:11:37,612
Hey, Red.
231
00:11:37,654 --> 00:11:39,382
Eric told me you and Kitty
are having a little trouble
232
00:11:39,406 --> 00:11:40,826
in the old hee-hoo department.
233
00:11:42,871 --> 00:11:44,790
You told Bob?
234
00:11:44,832 --> 00:11:46,877
Are you out of your puny mind?
235
00:11:46,918 --> 00:11:50,298
Look, you have to work
this stuff out with Mom.
236
00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:51,843
She hasn't fed us in three days.
237
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,220
Dad, I can't afford not to eat.
238
00:11:56,141 --> 00:11:57,977
Yesterday, I ate
a raisin off the floor.
239
00:11:59,897 --> 00:12:01,618
I'm not even sure if
it was really a raisin.
240
00:12:03,318 --> 00:12:04,988
Look, Red.
241
00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:08,368
You should take Kitty's request
for a love life spice up seriously.
242
00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:10,621
When Midge wanted to
turbo-charge our love life,
243
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:14,001
it was really a symptom of a
much deeper marital problem.
244
00:12:14,044 --> 00:12:15,252
Yeah, that you were deviants.
245
00:12:16,214 --> 00:12:17,925
Deviants?
246
00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:20,367
Well, the couple we were
dating sure didn't seem to think so.
247
00:12:21,345 --> 00:12:23,725
I'm telling you, this
problem is not just about sex.
248
00:12:24,226 --> 00:12:25,811
It isn't?
249
00:12:25,853 --> 00:12:27,206
Well, maybe she's just
unhappy emotionally.
250
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:29,274
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
251
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,902
No, Red. It means
you have a problem,
252
00:12:30,944 --> 00:12:32,105
and you have to deal with it.
253
00:12:33,615 --> 00:12:34,615
Yeah, okay.
254
00:12:36,035 --> 00:12:38,098
Yeah, I guess it's important
that Kitty get listened to.
255
00:12:38,122 --> 00:12:39,457
Eric, go listen to your mother.
256
00:12:40,499 --> 00:12:41,585
Why me?
257
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:43,213
Because without food,
you'll die first.
258
00:12:48,512 --> 00:12:49,680
So, Danielle, tell me again
259
00:12:49,722 --> 00:12:51,307
how much more you
like me than Kelso.
260
00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:54,814
Well, you're sensitive
261
00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:56,858
and thoughtful and understanding
262
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,903
and very, very sexy.
263
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,281
Lady, don't ever stop talking.
264
00:13:01,825 --> 00:13:03,786
And you're funny and sweet.
265
00:13:03,828 --> 00:13:06,039
And did I mention?
Very, very sexy.
266
00:13:06,081 --> 00:13:07,332
Lady, you gotta shut up.
267
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,056
So, Mom, in the interest
of returning
268
00:13:17,098 --> 00:13:19,852
regular meal service
to my now shattered life,
269
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:23,649
I'm here to help.
270
00:13:23,691 --> 00:13:26,487
So just tell me the problem
beneath the dirty, gross problem.
271
00:13:28,324 --> 00:13:30,285
Honey, there is none.
272
00:13:30,327 --> 00:13:31,954
I just want your father
and me to have
273
00:13:31,996 --> 00:13:34,333
more adventurous
sexual intercourse.
274
00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:37,396
Well, this is one of those times
275
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:38,964
I'm kind of happy
my stomach's empty.
276
00:13:39,966 --> 00:13:41,927
Um, look, instead of calling it,
277
00:13:41,969 --> 00:13:43,263
uh, sexual inter...
278
00:13:46,684 --> 00:13:48,603
Instead of calling it that,
279
00:13:48,645 --> 00:13:50,486
why don't we call it, like,
a walk in the park?
280
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,822
Fine. I want your father and I
281
00:13:54,864 --> 00:13:57,826
to have more adventurous
walks in the park.
282
00:13:59,411 --> 00:14:01,052
I want to walk in
the park in the kitchen.
283
00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:04,419
Walk in the park on a Tuesday.
284
00:14:06,422 --> 00:14:08,593
I even want to walk in
the park in the park.
285
00:14:08,634 --> 00:14:11,055
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
286
00:14:13,393 --> 00:14:16,772
Okay, Mom. I think you're
playing this all wrong.
287
00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:19,193
Dad wants you to have
a deeper emotional issue.
288
00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:20,319
Invent one.
289
00:14:21,446 --> 00:14:22,631
He'll give you anything you want
290
00:14:22,655 --> 00:14:26,662
to avoid talking
about walks in the park.
291
00:14:26,704 --> 00:14:28,975
So think big. You know, I might
be able to get you diamonds here.
292
00:14:28,999 --> 00:14:29,999
Maybe even a new car.
293
00:14:31,628 --> 00:14:33,065
This is like emotional
Price is Right, baby.
294
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,342
You're in the Showcase.
295
00:14:35,384 --> 00:14:39,598
Oh, I also want to walk in the
park during The Price is Right.
296
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:40,641
Oh, God.
297
00:14:51,993 --> 00:14:53,162
Well, what's the news?
298
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:56,499
You better start studying.
299
00:14:58,753 --> 00:14:59,753
Ugh!
300
00:15:07,599 --> 00:15:09,769
All right.
301
00:15:09,811 --> 00:15:12,774
So I spent the whole day thinking
about what happened with Danielle.
302
00:15:12,816 --> 00:15:15,320
And I realized that I
shouldn't be mad at you.
303
00:15:16,447 --> 00:15:19,117
I should be asking you for help.
304
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:22,664
Holy crap, man. Now you're
asking Fez for girl advice?
305
00:15:22,706 --> 00:15:25,548
Next thing you know, Donna's gonna
be asking Forman how to throw a ball.
306
00:15:26,545 --> 00:15:28,507
Look, he's the one
with the girl.
307
00:15:28,548 --> 00:15:30,676
All right, Fez.
So where did I go wrong?
308
00:15:30,718 --> 00:15:32,429
Well, Danielle said
you were a bad listener
309
00:15:32,471 --> 00:15:34,640
and I'm a good listener.
I heard her.
310
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:37,896
But so what?
I hurt girls all the time.
311
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,316
No, not "hurt."
"Heard." I heard.
312
00:15:41,026 --> 00:15:42,404
You heard what?
313
00:15:42,445 --> 00:15:43,612
Danielle!
I heard Danielle!
314
00:15:43,654 --> 00:15:45,032
Well, why'd she
choose you over me?
315
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,955
Jeez, it's like talking
to a two-year-old, here.
316
00:15:49,121 --> 00:15:51,709
She chose Fez because he
listens when a woman talks
317
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,378
instead of staring at her chest.
318
00:15:57,342 --> 00:15:59,721
Stop staring at my chest!
319
00:15:59,763 --> 00:16:02,100
I'm sorry, look, I've been
screwed by Darwinism.
320
00:16:03,727 --> 00:16:05,646
I never needed to
evolve listening skills,
321
00:16:05,688 --> 00:16:07,400
'cause my looks are
so highly developed.
322
00:16:09,570 --> 00:16:11,281
Oh, that's not
how evolution works.
323
00:16:12,073 --> 00:16:13,367
Yeah, sure it is.
324
00:16:13,409 --> 00:16:15,245
Look, say I had to catch
my own food, right,
325
00:16:15,287 --> 00:16:17,290
but I only ate
really fast animals?
326
00:16:17,331 --> 00:16:19,376
My feet would eventually
evolve into rockets.
327
00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:26,720
Man, it's amazing your brain
doesn't evolve into pudding.
328
00:16:28,848 --> 00:16:31,102
All right, Fez.
Come on, I need your help.
329
00:16:31,144 --> 00:16:32,145
Why should I help you?
330
00:16:33,230 --> 00:16:34,774
Because you owe me.
331
00:16:34,816 --> 00:16:36,253
Think about all
the times that I set you up
332
00:16:36,277 --> 00:16:37,654
with my dates'
less-pretty friends.
333
00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:41,546
That's true. You have
thrown me some uggos.
334
00:16:43,704 --> 00:16:45,541
All right, so show
a little appreciation.
335
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,505
Fine.
336
00:16:48,546 --> 00:16:50,400
But you have to promise not to
use what I teach you on Danielle
337
00:16:50,424 --> 00:16:51,383
to get her back.
338
00:16:51,425 --> 00:16:52,677
- She's mine.
- Done.
339
00:16:53,886 --> 00:16:56,056
Okay, Donna.
I need your help.
340
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,060
Now sit here and
pretend to be a girl.
341
00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:01,357
Now tell a girly story.
342
00:17:01,398 --> 00:17:04,111
Kelso, you listen and repeat
back whatever she says.
343
00:17:06,072 --> 00:17:07,659
- Okay, ready?
- Yeah.
344
00:17:09,453 --> 00:17:11,414
Kelso, I had the worst day.
345
00:17:11,456 --> 00:17:14,502
I didn't know what shoes to
wear. With a heel, without a heel...
346
00:17:14,544 --> 00:17:16,105
I'm running
out of firecrackers.
347
00:17:18,257 --> 00:17:20,338
I bet I could have been
best friends with Spider-Man.
348
00:17:22,848 --> 00:17:23,974
Is that a new muscle?
349
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,189
Well, hello, new muscle.
Welcome to Kelso-town.
350
00:17:29,274 --> 00:17:30,318
Kelso.
351
00:17:31,027 --> 00:17:32,697
Kelso!
352
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:34,533
- What?
- You weren't even listening.
353
00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:37,328
How do you know?
354
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:40,333
'Cause you were staring at the
ceiling with your tongue hanging out.
355
00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:43,463
Kelso, when a woman talks,
you have to look her in the eyes
356
00:17:43,505 --> 00:17:44,857
and pretend her
words are like oxygen
357
00:17:44,881 --> 00:17:46,593
and without them,
you can't breathe.
358
00:17:49,723 --> 00:17:51,016
But I don't care what she says.
359
00:17:54,229 --> 00:17:56,190
How the heck did
you ever get a girl?
360
00:17:56,232 --> 00:17:57,693
I don't know.
I just stare at her
361
00:17:57,735 --> 00:17:59,456
until she stops talking
and then I kiss her.
362
00:18:01,156 --> 00:18:02,156
Unbelievable.
363
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,929
All right, Kitty.
364
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,683
I want you to be happy.
I really do.
365
00:18:18,725 --> 00:18:22,063
And to make that beautiful,
elusive dream come true,
366
00:18:23,691 --> 00:18:26,403
I'm willing to try page 46.
367
00:18:28,615 --> 00:18:29,825
Really?
368
00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:32,830
Oh, Red, thank you.
369
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:35,793
Oh.
370
00:18:37,712 --> 00:18:41,217
Page 46.
That is so fancy.
371
00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:43,971
What?
372
00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:47,560
Oh, dear God, no. Not...
373
00:18:47,602 --> 00:18:50,106
Not page 46.
I meant page 47.
374
00:18:50,148 --> 00:18:51,149
Page 47.
375
00:18:52,401 --> 00:18:53,987
And no funny stuff
after I fall asleep.
376
00:18:59,412 --> 00:19:01,558
And I didn't know what to do
because I had just polished my nails
377
00:19:01,582 --> 00:19:04,962
and I didn't want to
mess up my manicure.
378
00:19:06,589 --> 00:19:08,671
You're such a good listener.
I can't take it anymore.
379
00:19:09,886 --> 00:19:12,056
What are you doing?
Get off my lady!
380
00:19:12,097 --> 00:19:13,684
- Fez!
- You shut your
hot little mouth.
381
00:19:15,562 --> 00:19:17,666
You promised you wouldn't use
anything I taught you on Danielle.
382
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,917
Come on, you can't give me a gun
383
00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:20,611
and expect me not to
shoot people with it.
384
00:19:21,946 --> 00:19:23,657
Danielle, you have to choose.
Him or me?
385
00:19:23,699 --> 00:19:25,020
- But I...
- I said choose, woman.
386
00:19:26,537 --> 00:19:28,432
Well, Fez, if I have to choose
between the two of you,
387
00:19:28,456 --> 00:19:29,657
I mean, the choice is obvious.
388
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:32,838
I choose you, Fez.
389
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:34,674
What, are you stupid?
390
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:38,304
I mean, of course,
yes, good choice, yeah.
391
00:19:39,807 --> 00:19:41,810
What, him?
How can you choose him?
392
00:19:41,852 --> 00:19:46,191
I don't know. I guess I have this
thing for guys who boss me around.
393
00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:48,696
I'll meet you in the car, or
wherever you tell me to meet you.
394
00:19:50,824 --> 00:19:52,785
Oh, you'll meet me in the car,
and you'll like it.
395
00:19:53,661 --> 00:19:54,747
I will.
396
00:19:59,211 --> 00:20:01,883
Okay, here's the thing, Fez.
397
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,053
She's clearly a lunatic.
398
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:09,394
Which means that she's going
to be super hot in bed,
399
00:20:09,436 --> 00:20:12,273
so congratulations on that one.
400
00:20:12,315 --> 00:20:15,487
But you did snake her from me,
so I get a free punch.
401
00:20:18,324 --> 00:20:19,993
But you did
snake her back, so...
402
00:20:20,995 --> 00:20:21,996
Oh!
403
00:20:34,182 --> 00:20:36,435
How do guys play fight
without getting into a real fight?
404
00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:39,732
Well, maybe 'cause
when they fight,
405
00:20:39,774 --> 00:20:42,027
Michael doesn't elbow
everything like a blonde tard-o.
406
00:20:44,447 --> 00:20:46,909
See, now that is gonna get
your ass kicked.
407
00:20:48,286 --> 00:20:50,875
Oh, I'm gonna punch you
in your fat melon head.
408
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,045
Good luck reaching it,
tiny loser.
409
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:10,571
Thanks, Tommy!
410
00:21:14,952 --> 00:21:16,162
Is that bacon I smell?
411
00:21:17,707 --> 00:21:19,124
Oh, what a perfect morning.
412
00:21:21,796 --> 00:21:22,797
- Marco!
- Polo!
413
00:21:22,839 --> 00:21:23,883
Oh, my God!
414
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,908
http://hiqve.com/