1 00:00:04,227 --> 00:00:09,813 ♪ When the shark bites with his teeth, dear ♪ 2 00:00:09,855 --> 00:00:11,773 Ah, you're awfully happy. 3 00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:14,172 We're having a cocktail party. What's not to be happy about? 4 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:16,482 Red, the last time we had a party, 5 00:00:16,524 --> 00:00:19,109 you called the cops and had them tow everyone's car. 6 00:00:21,443 --> 00:00:23,861 Drunk people looking for their cars, that was funny. 7 00:00:25,486 --> 00:00:27,112 Oh, you're just giddy because 8 00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:29,781 Bob's bringing his pretty new girlfriend over. 9 00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:31,656 Oh, Kitty, don't be ridiculous. 10 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,074 I'm just happy. Now why do you want to ruin my happiness? 11 00:00:34,115 --> 00:00:35,824 Because that's what a wife does. 12 00:00:38,451 --> 00:00:41,577 You know, my dad dating your mom goes against all the laws of nature. 13 00:00:41,619 --> 00:00:43,828 I mean, you don't see a giraffe with a panda bear. 14 00:00:46,245 --> 00:00:48,413 You know, my dad being the cute, fuzzy panda bear, 15 00:00:48,455 --> 00:00:52,122 and your mom being the evil, money-hungry, unnaturally tanned giraffe. 16 00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:55,583 Well, I've had it with them, too. 17 00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:58,043 Last night, your dad burped in front of my mom. 18 00:00:58,085 --> 00:00:59,794 And she laughed, Donna, laughed. 19 00:01:01,377 --> 00:01:02,836 We are Burkharts. 20 00:01:02,878 --> 00:01:05,212 We don't burp, and we don't tolerate people who do. 21 00:01:07,171 --> 00:01:09,381 Hey, everybody. I brought a date. 22 00:01:10,924 --> 00:01:12,591 Look how tall she is. 23 00:01:12,633 --> 00:01:14,312 It's like I'm dating the Statue of Liberty. 24 00:01:16,259 --> 00:01:18,760 Oh, Kitty, I just love coming over to your house. 25 00:01:18,802 --> 00:01:21,136 You have such unique tastes. 26 00:01:21,177 --> 00:01:24,136 It's like being in a giant flea market. 27 00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:26,847 And like at every flea market, 28 00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:28,728 Bob's gonna leave with the tackiest thing here. 29 00:01:31,474 --> 00:01:34,309 Pam, come on in. I made your favorite drink. 30 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:36,602 Tequila Sunrise. 31 00:01:36,644 --> 00:01:40,478 - Red, always the gentleman. - Yeah, well. 32 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:46,022 Red, Red... Honey, where's my favorite drink? 33 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,863 I didn't know you had a favorite drink, Kitty, 34 00:01:48,690 --> 00:01:50,209 seeing as how much you like all drinks. 35 00:01:52,692 --> 00:01:55,276 - I'll take a drink, Red. - Beer is in the garage, Bob. 36 00:01:57,152 --> 00:01:58,903 Mrs. Burkhart! 37 00:02:00,403 --> 00:02:02,154 That's weird. 38 00:02:02,195 --> 00:02:04,155 Golly, I didn't know you were dropping by. 39 00:02:06,364 --> 00:02:07,949 Yeah, you did. 40 00:02:07,991 --> 00:02:13,118 I told you she was and you said, "Oh, boy, I'm gonna wear my suit." 41 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:16,869 Well, I'm sorry, Donna, is there some kind of law against being handsome? 42 00:02:16,911 --> 00:02:18,870 Because if there is, then... 43 00:02:18,912 --> 00:02:20,621 Guilty as charged. 44 00:02:23,372 --> 00:02:26,791 Mrs. Burkhart, when did you get here? 45 00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:29,708 Is it too much for you people to let me know that we have company? 46 00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,335 One bronzed-up tart in the room 47 00:02:33,376 --> 00:02:37,462 and all the men turn into a bunch of oversexed fraternity boys. 48 00:02:37,504 --> 00:02:39,171 Kitty, you're just imagining things. 49 00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:41,255 What's she wearing? 50 00:02:46,549 --> 00:02:48,300 ♪ Hanging out 51 00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:52,635 ♪ Down the street 52 00:02:53,636 --> 00:02:55,804 ♪ The same old thing 53 00:02:57,513 --> 00:02:59,597 ♪ We did last week 54 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,515 ♪ Not a thing to do 55 00:03:04,808 --> 00:03:08,267 ♪ But talk to you 56 00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:10,352 ♪ We're all all right 57 00:03:10,393 --> 00:03:11,811 ♪ We're all all right ♪ 58 00:03:12,894 --> 00:03:15,270 Hello, Wisconsin! 59 00:03:22,398 --> 00:03:26,109 Oh, I cannot believe you kids trying to sneak off with my good gin. 60 00:03:27,526 --> 00:03:28,544 Yeah, I should have known. 61 00:03:28,568 --> 00:03:30,277 She can smell booze from a mile away. 62 00:03:31,987 --> 00:03:34,445 Excuse me? 63 00:03:34,487 --> 00:03:37,572 Oh, I said, you smell like booze from a mile away. 64 00:03:40,198 --> 00:03:41,991 That's worse, dumb ass. 65 00:03:45,575 --> 00:03:47,743 Oh, what a lovely evening. 66 00:03:47,785 --> 00:03:50,327 If I didn't know any better, I'd swear I was with rich people. 67 00:03:51,996 --> 00:03:54,412 Oh, she's got it all, looks and beauty. 68 00:03:56,164 --> 00:03:58,247 Pam, you want another drink? 69 00:03:58,289 --> 00:03:59,790 No, honey, you shouldn't be drinking. 70 00:03:59,832 --> 00:04:02,125 You have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. 71 00:04:02,167 --> 00:04:05,209 He has a heart condition. He's very old. 72 00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,459 I never thought I'd say this, but I wish I was Bob. 73 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:15,505 I wonder if she'd like to watch The Graduate with me some night. 74 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,756 You know, one time, back when I was dating Jackie, 75 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:20,550 Pam was trying to wash her car, right, 76 00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:24,177 and she leaned over and like squeezed out the sponge. 77 00:04:24,218 --> 00:04:25,444 That's all I remember, 'cause I rode my bike 78 00:04:25,468 --> 00:04:26,719 straight into a tree. 79 00:04:30,261 --> 00:04:32,429 Oh, look at her. 80 00:04:32,471 --> 00:04:35,015 Would you ever want me to show that much leg? 81 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,557 Absolutely not. 82 00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:39,016 And why not? 83 00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:41,934 You set me up. 84 00:04:45,227 --> 00:04:48,062 Jackie, I can't see your mom's hand, 85 00:04:48,103 --> 00:04:49,854 which means it's on my dad's butt. 86 00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:52,689 We have to break them up. 87 00:04:52,731 --> 00:04:56,440 I've been badmouthing Pinciottis for years. I can't be one. 88 00:04:56,482 --> 00:05:01,401 So that's when I realized that tapas sounds a lot like topless. 89 00:05:03,152 --> 00:05:04,736 But I already promised, so... 90 00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:08,696 Hey, Mrs. Burkhart. 91 00:05:08,738 --> 00:05:13,322 Why don't I throw on some music for us to shake our booties to? 92 00:05:13,364 --> 00:05:16,241 Hey, stop acting like an ass in front of the pretty lady. 93 00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:20,450 That's okay, Red. I think he's cute. 94 00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:22,785 Yeah, well. He is my son, you know? 95 00:05:28,163 --> 00:05:30,288 Well, good party. 96 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,998 Good party. When Pam and I were dancing, 97 00:05:33,415 --> 00:05:35,248 she accidentally brushed my butt. 98 00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:40,459 And tell them what happened after that. 99 00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:43,252 Well, then I said, "Hey, you can squeeze my butt anytime." 100 00:05:45,046 --> 00:05:46,629 And then it got really quiet. 101 00:05:48,422 --> 00:05:50,048 And then she walked over to Bob, 102 00:05:51,381 --> 00:05:52,980 and they were talking and pointing at me. 103 00:05:56,093 --> 00:05:58,885 Then you tried to laugh it off and you spit dip up on your shirt. 104 00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:03,012 Then you tried to do that joke 105 00:06:03,054 --> 00:06:05,613 where you scoop the dip off your shirt with the chip, and no one laughed. 106 00:06:05,637 --> 00:06:06,637 And here we are. 107 00:06:08,848 --> 00:06:10,766 You know, there's a lot of talk about Pam. 108 00:06:10,807 --> 00:06:12,891 But, Eric, I still have feelings for your mom. 109 00:06:14,142 --> 00:06:16,143 She comes off all pure, but she's dirty. 110 00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:21,811 Why can't my dad just see that Pam is a total gold digger? 111 00:06:21,853 --> 00:06:24,438 Oh, would you stop saying that? 112 00:06:24,479 --> 00:06:26,480 Hey, either she digs for gold or she doesn't. 113 00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,523 It's easy to check. 114 00:06:29,565 --> 00:06:31,273 Are her boots muddy? 115 00:06:32,234 --> 00:06:34,859 Does she carry a pickaxe? 116 00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:37,986 When she comes home does she say, "Tough day at the gold mine"? 117 00:06:40,445 --> 00:06:43,321 No, Fez, a gold digger is what these idiots call a woman 118 00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:46,280 who knows that love eventually wears off, but money is forever. 119 00:06:49,699 --> 00:06:53,618 You guys, all I know is, pretty-tanned lady touched my butt. 120 00:06:53,659 --> 00:06:55,869 And that is more action than I've gotten in weeks. 121 00:06:57,661 --> 00:06:59,787 Keep it up, you'll be having sex with yourself. 122 00:07:03,164 --> 00:07:06,624 I mean, how does Bob pull all these foxes like Midge and Pam? 123 00:07:06,665 --> 00:07:08,666 He's got to have something the ladies can't resist. 124 00:07:10,042 --> 00:07:12,876 Hey, Donna, you ever see your dad naked? 125 00:07:12,918 --> 00:07:17,212 Oh, my God! Can we please talk about anything besides that? 126 00:07:17,254 --> 00:07:21,005 You're way off, Hyde. Women love Bob for his sense of humor. 127 00:07:21,047 --> 00:07:22,839 That sucker is funnier than a Dixie cup. 128 00:07:25,132 --> 00:07:29,341 No. All right, how it works is relationships are based on a point system. 129 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,426 All right, see, Pam is good-looking. 130 00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:33,136 So that's 20 points. 131 00:07:33,177 --> 00:07:35,428 And Bob, he's like the nicest guy in the world. 132 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:37,263 So that's like, what? Like a point. 133 00:07:39,512 --> 00:07:43,640 But Bob's got money, and that's 19 points. 134 00:07:44,599 --> 00:07:45,975 And altogether that's 20. 135 00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:48,433 Now, you add the whole thing together, and that's 40, 136 00:07:48,475 --> 00:07:50,309 which is incidentally almost half my score. 137 00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:59,563 I don't care what that doctor says. 138 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,648 I'm not wearing this stupid heart monitor. 139 00:08:04,191 --> 00:08:05,691 Makes me look like a damn robot. 140 00:08:07,692 --> 00:08:09,819 Red, I'm sure you won't even know it's there. 141 00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:12,402 It'll only beep if your heart rate goes above normal, 142 00:08:12,444 --> 00:08:16,696 like when you get agitated, or excited, or extra angry, or extra happy. 143 00:08:18,781 --> 00:08:21,323 Putting my money on extra angry. 144 00:08:23,365 --> 00:08:25,742 I bet the damn thing doesn't even work. 145 00:08:25,784 --> 00:08:27,618 You know what, Red? Your attitude stinks. 146 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:30,619 You wouldn't be in this mess if you just listened to me in the first place. 147 00:08:30,661 --> 00:08:32,453 - Kitty... - I told you to eat 148 00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:35,247 more fiber in the mornings. I told you to exercise. 149 00:08:35,288 --> 00:08:37,872 I even told you to wear more comfortable shoes for circulation. 150 00:08:37,914 --> 00:08:39,873 Did you listen? No. 151 00:08:39,915 --> 00:08:43,083 So, I guess I'm just gonna keep telling you and telling you and telling you... 152 00:08:48,335 --> 00:08:50,295 What do you know? It does work. 153 00:08:56,798 --> 00:08:59,966 Man, I can't believe you guys aren't in Bob's hot tub. 154 00:09:00,008 --> 00:09:02,883 You know, I feel like Warren Beatty in a movie about a hot tub. 155 00:09:04,301 --> 00:09:07,094 He's like hot tubbing, then like... 156 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,762 ...other stuff happens. 157 00:09:11,804 --> 00:09:13,781 Kelso, just so you know, Bob was in there an hour ago. 158 00:09:13,805 --> 00:09:15,472 So you are like 159 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:17,348 covered in hot bubbly Bob. 160 00:09:21,142 --> 00:09:23,018 Dad, will you please listen to us? 161 00:09:23,059 --> 00:09:25,977 We talked about it and we really think you need to break up with Pam. 162 00:09:26,019 --> 00:09:28,103 - No way. - Open your eyes. 163 00:09:28,145 --> 00:09:30,604 Everyone can see what a big mistake this is. 164 00:09:30,646 --> 00:09:34,064 Oh, so everyone here thinks I should just break up with Pam? 165 00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:35,648 I say stick with her, Bob. 166 00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:37,858 My only advice is take pictures, 167 00:09:37,899 --> 00:09:39,358 otherwise no one's gonna believe you. 168 00:09:41,484 --> 00:09:44,527 Don't listen to him. He grew up poor. He's stupid. 169 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,362 What do you think, Eric? 170 00:09:48,696 --> 00:09:50,030 Yeah, Eric. 171 00:09:50,071 --> 00:09:51,363 What do you think? 172 00:09:52,698 --> 00:09:54,199 I hope it's the right answer. 173 00:09:56,657 --> 00:09:58,658 You love that woman for all she's worth, Bob. 174 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,159 Eric! 175 00:10:00,201 --> 00:10:02,440 What... What are you gonna do? Cut me off from sex again? 176 00:10:04,786 --> 00:10:07,871 I agree with Forman, Bob. I think you should keep her. 177 00:10:07,912 --> 00:10:10,372 I mean, you're you and you're getting me quality girls. 178 00:10:12,414 --> 00:10:16,083 You're living life Kelso style. Enjoy. 179 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:18,375 Oh. I'm so sorry I'm late. 180 00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:21,793 I locked my keys in the car and I had to use the coat hanger to jimmy the lock. 181 00:10:21,835 --> 00:10:26,338 I had to reach down in there and I had to shimmy and shimmy and shimmy 182 00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:28,130 until the darn thing finally popped open. 183 00:10:28,172 --> 00:10:29,672 Boy, I'm sorry I missed that. 184 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,757 Yeah, could you act it out for us one more time? 185 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,301 Look, Mom, 186 00:10:38,343 --> 00:10:41,220 Donna and I decided that you two can't see each other anymore. 187 00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:44,470 We're your children and we love you, 188 00:10:44,512 --> 00:10:47,096 but your happiness is much less important than ours. 189 00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:51,349 Jackie, when your dad went away to jail, 190 00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:53,725 I decided to do some work on myself. 191 00:10:53,766 --> 00:10:56,767 Not on the outside, obviously, because, well, come on, 192 00:10:58,685 --> 00:11:01,395 but on the inside, you know, the part that doesn't matter as much. 193 00:11:02,312 --> 00:11:03,729 And I realized that 194 00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:06,397 I need a man who makes me feel good about myself. 195 00:11:08,523 --> 00:11:09,523 I need you, Bob. 196 00:11:10,024 --> 00:11:11,858 Oh. 197 00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:14,578 You know, if an ugly woman said that, it just wouldn't mean as much. 198 00:11:18,319 --> 00:11:20,362 Man, if this was a movie, 199 00:11:20,402 --> 00:11:22,841 Pam would pick up Bob and just carry him off to a better life. 200 00:11:24,697 --> 00:11:27,295 If this were a good movie, Pam would have ended the scene topless. 201 00:11:28,698 --> 00:11:30,824 Yeah, if this were a great movie, 202 00:11:30,866 --> 00:11:33,408 they'd have a monkey friend that did all this crazy stuff. 203 00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:38,428 You know what? You guys were no help. You could have backed us up. 204 00:11:38,452 --> 00:11:39,410 And you could be sleeping with me. 205 00:11:39,452 --> 00:11:40,932 People could be doing a lot of things. 206 00:11:43,163 --> 00:11:44,914 All right, I'm done peeing. 207 00:11:46,374 --> 00:11:47,749 Hey, could you hand me my clothes? 208 00:11:49,666 --> 00:11:50,665 Kelso, are you naked? 209 00:11:52,542 --> 00:11:54,417 No. 210 00:11:54,459 --> 00:11:56,138 Eric, could you hand me my clothes, please? 211 00:11:56,169 --> 00:11:59,295 I'm sorry, buddy, I can't hear you over the hot tub. 212 00:11:59,337 --> 00:12:01,462 - Did you hear him, Hyde? - I think so. 213 00:12:01,504 --> 00:12:03,357 I think he said to take his clothes and run away. 214 00:12:03,381 --> 00:12:04,422 Oh. 215 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:10,259 Guys, guys, come back! 216 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:14,386 Well, looks like I'm gonna have to be nude in front of you guys, 217 00:12:14,426 --> 00:12:15,677 and that's kind of awkward, 218 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:19,428 so I think you ladies should nude up. 219 00:12:24,598 --> 00:12:25,598 Hey. 220 00:12:25,974 --> 00:12:27,683 Good news, Red. 221 00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:28,975 I made your favorite lunch. 222 00:12:29,351 --> 00:12:30,726 Lasagna. 223 00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:33,726 Thanks. 224 00:12:34,728 --> 00:12:36,062 Thanks? 225 00:12:36,104 --> 00:12:37,729 Aren't you excited? 226 00:12:37,771 --> 00:12:39,188 Let's hear that monitor. 227 00:12:41,398 --> 00:12:43,148 So, every time you do something nice for me, 228 00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:44,815 I'm supposed to have a heart attack? 229 00:12:46,149 --> 00:12:48,359 Well, no. 230 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,943 Not an attack, just a little episode. 231 00:12:52,778 --> 00:12:54,777 I mean, what does it take to get that beeper going? 232 00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:57,029 Hi, Red. 233 00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:05,075 Wow! 234 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,825 That must be the lasagna kicking in. 235 00:13:16,705 --> 00:13:18,123 Hey. 236 00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,706 What do you say we have some more of that lasagna? 237 00:13:20,748 --> 00:13:23,333 Boy, was that delicious. 238 00:13:27,085 --> 00:13:29,543 Oh, can it, Red. When Pam showed up, 239 00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:32,796 your heart monitor went off like a freaking slot machine. 240 00:13:32,837 --> 00:13:35,462 Pam had nothing to do with that thing going off, damn it! 241 00:13:35,504 --> 00:13:37,589 Oh, and look at us now, we're arguing. 242 00:13:37,631 --> 00:13:39,464 Can't even get a beep out of you. 243 00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:41,465 Your son is a jerk. 244 00:13:48,844 --> 00:13:52,845 Come on, I'm gonna prove to you that I'm not attracted to Pam. 245 00:13:52,887 --> 00:13:54,097 Hey, guys. 246 00:13:59,182 --> 00:14:00,933 I think I'm having a war flashback. 247 00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,435 I'm messed up, Kitty. 248 00:14:04,393 --> 00:14:05,517 I'm real messed up. 249 00:14:09,186 --> 00:14:11,187 I cannot believe you told my dad to stay with Pam. 250 00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:12,439 She doesn't even like you. 251 00:14:12,479 --> 00:14:14,198 She told my dad you groped her at the party. 252 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,733 Okay, look, Donna. You and Pam obviously have some serious issues. 253 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,609 I think you two should work them out 254 00:14:21,651 --> 00:14:23,485 with a good old-fashioned pillow fight. 255 00:14:25,693 --> 00:14:27,796 Come on, Jackie, I think maybe you should throw on a nightgown 256 00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:28,862 and defend your mom. 257 00:14:29,988 --> 00:14:31,488 You're sick! 258 00:14:31,529 --> 00:14:34,282 And you, you were no help, either. 259 00:14:34,323 --> 00:14:37,032 Hey, I was just agreeing with Forman so he didn't look so bad. 260 00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:39,741 You said it before he did. 261 00:14:42,701 --> 00:14:43,700 Oh, yeah. 262 00:14:45,078 --> 00:14:46,454 What's the big deal? 263 00:14:46,495 --> 00:14:48,663 Bob and Pam are those who want to do 264 00:14:48,704 --> 00:14:50,621 what comes naturally to everybody except me. 265 00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:55,416 So, I say, why can't they get any? 266 00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:00,584 You know, Pam wants to be with my dad now, 267 00:15:00,626 --> 00:15:02,836 but what happens when someone else comes along? 268 00:15:02,877 --> 00:15:05,795 I wouldn't care so much if I could just, you know, 269 00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:08,172 test her with a hotter guy and see if she falls for him. 270 00:15:08,879 --> 00:15:10,047 Because I love you... 271 00:15:12,631 --> 00:15:13,631 I'll do it. 272 00:15:16,508 --> 00:15:18,301 Why would you do it? This is a man's job. 273 00:15:18,343 --> 00:15:19,801 Don't wait up for me, baby. 274 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,636 No, it has to be someone her type. 275 00:15:23,678 --> 00:15:25,804 Well, I know from our time in Mexico 276 00:15:25,846 --> 00:15:27,925 that she has a weakness for young, dark-skinned guys. 277 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,683 I guess I can ask around. 278 00:15:41,144 --> 00:15:44,188 Mmm. That smells delicious. 279 00:15:44,229 --> 00:15:46,272 - What is it? - It's not for you. 280 00:15:47,856 --> 00:15:49,333 You can go look for scraps around the neighborhood 281 00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:50,523 like the rest of the dogs. 282 00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:58,402 Kitty, for the last time, I'm not attracted to Pam. 283 00:15:58,444 --> 00:16:01,111 Please, believe me, as the husband 284 00:16:01,153 --> 00:16:05,030 who has shared your laughter and tears for... 285 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,572 ...many happy years. 286 00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:11,533 How many years, Red? 287 00:16:12,783 --> 00:16:13,782 All of them. 288 00:16:15,534 --> 00:16:17,576 You can't give me a number, can you? 289 00:16:17,618 --> 00:16:20,578 Well, I can tell you on a scale of one to 10, 290 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:21,619 I love you 10. 291 00:16:23,872 --> 00:16:26,123 That's a number. 292 00:16:26,165 --> 00:16:29,375 Oh, why don't you just take your cardiac jukebox over to Pam's? 293 00:16:31,749 --> 00:16:33,459 Hi, Kitty. Hi, Red. 294 00:16:33,501 --> 00:16:36,180 I thought we'd come over and see if you two wanted to catch a movie. 295 00:16:41,171 --> 00:16:42,505 Why are you staring? 296 00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:45,256 Too pretty for Wisconsin? 297 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,550 I get that a lot. 298 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,177 You shut it off, didn't you? 299 00:16:53,219 --> 00:16:56,761 - No, I did not shut it off. - Let's hustle it up. 300 00:16:56,803 --> 00:16:58,637 I don't want to sit behind people with hats. 301 00:17:03,139 --> 00:17:04,181 Ha! 302 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,392 Look at that, nosy. 303 00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:10,309 It's not Pam, it's Bob, because he annoys me. 304 00:17:13,019 --> 00:17:14,019 That's true. I do. 305 00:17:15,644 --> 00:17:17,103 What are you guys talking about? 306 00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:20,563 Um... 307 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,358 I, um... 308 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,359 I, I, I sort of thought that... 309 00:17:28,401 --> 00:17:29,901 That Red had a crush on you. 310 00:17:30,609 --> 00:17:32,943 Oh, Kitty. I'm sorry. 311 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,320 This face can bring as much trouble as it does joy. 312 00:17:36,945 --> 00:17:39,531 Well, Kitty, what do you have to say for yourself? 313 00:17:43,032 --> 00:17:44,408 It's the menopause. 314 00:17:47,284 --> 00:17:49,576 I'm messed up, Red. I'm real messed up. 315 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:04,917 Um... Hello. 316 00:18:10,669 --> 00:18:12,003 What are you doing? 317 00:18:12,045 --> 00:18:14,213 I was hired to clean the hot tub. 318 00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:17,797 But you should know that I... 319 00:18:19,382 --> 00:18:20,798 ...perform other services, too. 320 00:18:23,883 --> 00:18:27,552 Well, you could start by doing a better job. 321 00:18:27,593 --> 00:18:28,802 It's still dirty. 322 00:18:28,844 --> 00:18:30,470 Oh! 323 00:18:30,512 --> 00:18:31,678 So, you like it dirty? 324 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:38,223 - No, I want it clean. - So, you like it filthy? 325 00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:42,475 - Bob! - Whoa, I'm not into that. 326 00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:44,767 No. 327 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:51,771 Hey, Eric, that was a good burn stealing my clothes. 328 00:18:51,812 --> 00:18:53,855 The laugh's on you, 'cause I borrowed your pants 329 00:18:53,897 --> 00:18:55,273 and I'm not wearing any underwear. 330 00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:05,151 Kelso, just so you know, the last time I wore those pants 331 00:19:05,193 --> 00:19:06,433 I wasn't wearing any underwear. 332 00:19:09,737 --> 00:19:10,736 Ouch, well played. 333 00:19:13,364 --> 00:19:15,906 Where the hell is Fez? He should have been back by now. 334 00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:17,841 I swear, if he touched my mother inappropriately, 335 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,950 he is never borrowing my curling iron again. 336 00:19:21,909 --> 00:19:24,826 Man, first I wanted to be Bob. Now I wish I was Fez. 337 00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,268 What the hell is going on this week? 338 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,705 Did you tell Fez to make a move on Pam? 339 00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:34,457 'Cause if you didn't, I'm gonna box him up 340 00:19:34,498 --> 00:19:36,082 and send him back to banana town. 341 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,918 Okay, I'm sick of those comments. 342 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,502 I don't say I'm gonna send you back to polyester town. 343 00:19:48,213 --> 00:19:50,505 Dad, I'm really sorry. 344 00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:53,346 It was just the only thing we could think of to prove that Pam doesn't, 345 00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:57,050 - you know, really care about you. - Well, guess what? 346 00:19:57,092 --> 00:19:58,675 She does really care about me. 347 00:19:58,717 --> 00:20:00,635 So, you can stop playing these little games, 348 00:20:00,676 --> 00:20:04,262 because Pam makes me happier than I have been in a long time. 349 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,679 And you better accept it soon, 'cause she's here to stay. 350 00:20:07,721 --> 00:20:10,306 That's right, I will have my pretty lady. 351 00:20:13,099 --> 00:20:15,308 This Bob is back. 352 00:20:25,396 --> 00:20:27,063 - Way to go, Bob. - Yeah, Bob. 353 00:20:27,105 --> 00:20:28,188 I love you, man! 354 00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:32,690 Bob, you're just like me. 355 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,567 We give regular guys hope. 356 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:35,984 You can't leave Pam because... 357 00:20:38,402 --> 00:20:39,777 Because Pam is your Donna. 358 00:20:42,403 --> 00:20:44,862 Steven, am I your Donna? 359 00:20:47,072 --> 00:20:49,031 That doesn't apply to us. We're both good-looking. 360 00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:55,867 Dad, can we at least talk about this? 361 00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:58,578 I'm sorry, Donna. That's the way it's gonna be. 362 00:20:58,619 --> 00:21:00,120 I don't want to talk about it anymore. 363 00:21:03,371 --> 00:21:05,205 Should've known this wasn't gonna work. 364 00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:06,664 Foreigners never finish a job. 365 00:21:08,706 --> 00:21:10,583 Oh, please. If Bob hadn't shown up, 366 00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:12,000 I'd be your step daddy right now. 367 00:21:21,171 --> 00:21:22,505 B-7. 368 00:21:23,506 --> 00:21:24,672 Miss. 369 00:21:24,713 --> 00:21:27,714 Oh, man, how do I keep missing you? 370 00:21:27,756 --> 00:21:29,475 It's 'cause I don't have any boats on there. 371 00:21:33,968 --> 00:21:37,428 - What's that noise? - It's my dad's heart monitor. 372 00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:39,220 - Where's your mom? - She's with him. 373 00:21:44,014 --> 00:21:47,390 Oh, man, take off the beeper! Other people live here! 374 00:21:47,414 --> 00:21:49,413 http://hiqve.com/