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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Hey, check it out, guys,
it's Sergeant Crossing Guard.
20
00:00:20,337 --> 00:00:21,657
Rough day
on the crosswalk, Sarge?
21
00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:24,635
I'm not a crossing guard, Hyde,
22
00:00:24,677 --> 00:00:26,555
I'm a police officer
in training.
23
00:00:26,596 --> 00:00:29,517
- Read the badge.
- You mean your paper nametag?
24
00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:34,233
No, I mean my badge.
25
00:00:34,274 --> 00:00:35,610
This symbolizes
all the authority
26
00:00:35,652 --> 00:00:37,780
of the Point Place
police department.
27
00:00:37,822 --> 00:00:39,200
How'd it get ripped?
28
00:00:41,203 --> 00:00:44,123
Hey! Your first case.
29
00:00:46,168 --> 00:00:50,298
Get this. Tomorrow I get to go
on a ride-along in a real police car.
30
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:52,511
I get to see
all the crime as it happens.
31
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:56,350
Yeah, this town is a hotbed
for criminal activity.
32
00:00:56,392 --> 00:01:00,232
Hey, let's not forget the
great ten-speed robbery of '74.
33
00:01:00,273 --> 00:01:02,110
Yeah, or that
criminal mastermind
34
00:01:02,151 --> 00:01:03,652
who stole my mum's garden gnome.
35
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:08,994
Guys, I have very exciting news.
36
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,872
I'm in a mentor programme
for little girls,
37
00:01:10,914 --> 00:01:13,084
kind of like a Big Sister thing.
38
00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:15,328
And there's someone here
who's very anxious to meet you.
39
00:01:16,214 --> 00:01:17,424
Come here.
40
00:01:19,177 --> 00:01:21,722
Isn't she cute?
I call her Little Jackie.
41
00:01:24,143 --> 00:01:27,815
For the last freaking time,
my name is Colette.
42
00:01:29,651 --> 00:01:31,652
I'm trying to like her,
she's just a little mouthy.
43
00:01:33,282 --> 00:01:34,993
Jackie, why would you be
a Big Sister?
44
00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:37,663
Well, it's a community
service project for school.
45
00:01:37,704 --> 00:01:40,333
It was either this or helping
out at a senior center.
46
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:42,296
And you know how gray hair
gives me nightmares.
47
00:01:43,798 --> 00:01:45,341
Can I leave now?
There's nothing to do.
48
00:01:46,135 --> 00:01:49,807
Here, take these pictures of me
49
00:01:49,849 --> 00:01:51,310
and put them
in order of cuteness,
50
00:01:51,351 --> 00:01:54,314
from "Very cute" to "It's
just not fair she's so cute."
51
00:01:56,108 --> 00:01:58,361
Lame, lamer, lamest.
52
00:02:00,782 --> 00:02:02,034
I like her.
53
00:02:03,203 --> 00:02:05,372
- Yeah, me, too.
- She's feisty.
54
00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,212
Nice nametag.
Are you a garbage man?
55
00:02:13,218 --> 00:02:14,386
It's a badge!
56
00:02:19,895 --> 00:02:21,939
♪ Hanging out
57
00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:25,362
♪ Down the street
58
00:02:27,073 --> 00:02:29,034
♪ The same old thing
59
00:02:30,786 --> 00:02:33,290
♪ We did last week
60
00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:38,005
♪ Not a thing to do
61
00:02:38,047 --> 00:02:41,052
♪ But talk to you
62
00:02:41,886 --> 00:02:43,638
♪ We're all all right
63
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,102
♪ We're all all right ♪
64
00:02:46,143 --> 00:02:48,397
Hello, Wisconsin!
65
00:02:56,617 --> 00:02:58,370
Get away from me!
66
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,140
I bet that's the first time
you said that to a man.
67
00:03:00,164 --> 00:03:01,417
Don't you walk out that door.
68
00:03:01,457 --> 00:03:03,044
Don't you walk
through that door!
69
00:03:04,421 --> 00:03:06,257
What the hell was that
all about?
70
00:03:06,299 --> 00:03:08,594
They have been fighting
like that all morning.
71
00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,847
Sometimes he even yells at her
in his native language.
72
00:03:12,642 --> 00:03:15,520
I believe the main idea is,
she gets around.
73
00:03:17,316 --> 00:03:18,859
Ah, to be young and trapped
74
00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:21,405
in a loveless sham
of a marriage.
75
00:03:21,447 --> 00:03:25,493
- Kitty, where's the coffee?
- I'm sorry, I almost forgot.
76
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,339
Since no one fixed my sink yet,
77
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,715
today instead of coffee,
78
00:03:33,757 --> 00:03:35,177
we're having pipe sludge.
79
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:40,977
You know the doctor told me
not to do household chores.
80
00:03:41,019 --> 00:03:43,063
It's either a working sink
or a dead husband.
81
00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:45,275
It's your choice.
82
00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:47,487
Well, Red, somebody's gotta
do something around here.
83
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,864
The garage needs to be painted,
84
00:03:48,905 --> 00:03:50,325
the lawnmower won't start,
85
00:03:50,367 --> 00:03:52,052
and I'm getting tired of
running to the hose
86
00:03:52,077 --> 00:03:53,662
every time I need
a bourbon and water.
87
00:03:56,417 --> 00:03:58,920
Fine, fine,
we'll let Eric do it.
88
00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:00,173
Maybe if I supervise him,
89
00:04:00,215 --> 00:04:01,495
he'll only screw up
half as much.
90
00:04:02,926 --> 00:04:05,515
Yeah, thanks, Dad.
You know what? I got it.
91
00:04:05,556 --> 00:04:07,684
Yeah. This from the kid
who gets sweaty
92
00:04:07,726 --> 00:04:09,562
when he has to
change out the toilet paper.
93
00:04:12,358 --> 00:04:14,110
Don't you walk back
into that house.
94
00:04:14,152 --> 00:04:15,946
Don't you walk back
into the house!
95
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,172
Officer Kennedy?
96
00:04:27,214 --> 00:04:29,842
I want you to know that even
though it's my first ride-along,
97
00:04:29,884 --> 00:04:31,262
I'm not afraid to kill a man.
98
00:04:33,557 --> 00:04:35,769
I just don't wanna touch him
after he's dead.
99
00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:39,775
Shut it, Cadet.
Here, take care of the radio.
100
00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:42,237
Cool. We each get our own
walkie-talkies?
101
00:04:43,364 --> 00:04:45,576
I'd like a pepperoni pizza.
102
00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,203
Address,
Hauling Ass Down Central.
103
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:53,629
Hey, if you wanna play games,
go join the highway patrol.
104
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:56,968
Unit 10, we've got
a 415 in progress.
105
00:04:57,009 --> 00:05:00,640
- Cool. What's a 415?
- Why don't you look
in your manual?
106
00:05:04,062 --> 00:05:08,319
"A canine defecating
on private property."
107
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:13,785
Cool! It's a dog crapping
on a lawn! Gun it!
108
00:05:13,827 --> 00:05:17,833
A 415 is a domestic
disturbance, you chowder head.
109
00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:20,253
Oh.
110
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,009
Damn, I always wanted to
put a dog in handcuffs.
111
00:05:29,434 --> 00:05:33,940
- I want you out! Out, I say!
- It's my house!
112
00:05:33,982 --> 00:05:36,445
Oh, really? Because you didn't
sleep here last night.
113
00:05:37,446 --> 00:05:38,697
Or the night before that.
114
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:40,700
Or the night before that.
115
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:45,708
To be fair, Fez, her army
buddies only get a three-day pass.
116
00:05:46,751 --> 00:05:48,380
- Listen to me...
- No, you listen...
117
00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:51,593
Pipe down!
The neighbors are staring.
118
00:05:51,635 --> 00:05:55,474
Don't mind us.
Just practicing for a show.
119
00:05:56,934 --> 00:05:59,313
Take a bow and get in the house.
120
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,734
Whoa, it's the Five-O.
Better go hide my stash.
121
00:06:05,864 --> 00:06:08,743
Comic books.
And comic book paraphernalia.
122
00:06:14,712 --> 00:06:17,090
What seems
to be the problem here?
123
00:06:17,131 --> 00:06:19,760
- Put that down.
- Put that down.
124
00:06:19,802 --> 00:06:22,098
- No, put that down!
- Put what down?
125
00:06:22,139 --> 00:06:23,182
Give me that.
126
00:06:25,478 --> 00:06:28,773
Now, what seems to be
the problem here?
127
00:06:28,815 --> 00:06:31,137
I'll tell you what the problem
is. I am married to a whore.
128
00:06:35,118 --> 00:06:37,996
I am not a whore!
129
00:06:38,038 --> 00:06:41,419
I'm just a girl
who likes a good time.
130
00:06:41,461 --> 00:06:44,214
I'm sorry. I can't imagine
who would've called the police.
131
00:06:45,091 --> 00:06:46,510
It's about time you showed up.
132
00:06:48,388 --> 00:06:49,932
These two were making
so much noise,
133
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,352
I couldn't enjoy my programme.
134
00:06:52,394 --> 00:06:55,231
Bob, you really
had to call the police?
135
00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:57,860
Sorry, Kitty, but how am I
supposed to name that tune
136
00:06:57,902 --> 00:06:59,781
if I can't even hear the notes?
137
00:07:02,326 --> 00:07:05,205
Okay. Well, this kid
seems to be harmless,
138
00:07:05,247 --> 00:07:07,529
but since you're training, why
don't you frisk him anyway?
139
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,840
Sure, frisk the foreign guy.
140
00:07:13,343 --> 00:07:14,928
The color of my skin
is not a crime!
141
00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:25,214
Why do you have a frog
in your pocket?
142
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,616
It's a surprise for the ladies.
143
00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:32,872
Oh! He peed on me!
That's resisting arrest.
144
00:07:34,124 --> 00:07:36,878
Well, then I'm about
to resist arrest, too.
145
00:07:44,724 --> 00:07:47,538
Dad, that was pretty cool how I shut
off all the water in the house, huh?
146
00:07:47,562 --> 00:07:49,648
Yeah, you really instill
a lot of confidence,
147
00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:51,901
muttering "lefty loosey,
righty tighty" the whole time.
148
00:07:53,111 --> 00:07:55,741
Okay, let's get started.
149
00:07:55,782 --> 00:07:59,329
Now, this is a wrench.
150
00:08:01,165 --> 00:08:03,627
- Dad, I think I know
what tools are.
- Good.
151
00:08:03,669 --> 00:08:04,796
Then grab the Philips head.
152
00:08:04,838 --> 00:08:07,676
Uh, shouldn't I buy Philip
a drink first?
153
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,561
Come on!
154
00:08:14,603 --> 00:08:17,482
We're just a couple guys having
some fun on the job, lighten up.
155
00:08:17,524 --> 00:08:19,611
Get a little "lefty-loosey".
156
00:08:21,363 --> 00:08:24,660
Do you even know what a
Philips head screwdriver is?
157
00:08:24,702 --> 00:08:26,914
I know it's a screwdriver.
158
00:08:27,372 --> 00:08:28,958
Now.
159
00:08:31,002 --> 00:08:32,923
The water's off.
Why is the water off?
160
00:08:32,964 --> 00:08:34,300
We gotta fix the pipes.
161
00:08:34,341 --> 00:08:37,764
- But I have to use
the bathroom.
- What?
162
00:08:37,806 --> 00:08:42,186
- I have to use the bathroom!
- Well, go ahead.
163
00:08:42,228 --> 00:08:43,989
But you only get one flush,
so make it count.
164
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:51,660
Well, I guess I can hold it.
I just hope I don't sneeze.
165
00:08:59,964 --> 00:09:03,051
- Would you sit still?
- Jackie, she's not a doll.
166
00:09:03,093 --> 00:09:04,680
Well, not a good one, anyway.
167
00:09:06,891 --> 00:09:11,022
I don't want a makeover. You're supposed
to be helping me with my homework.
168
00:09:11,063 --> 00:09:13,150
Homework is for ugly girls.
169
00:09:14,444 --> 00:09:15,947
Okay?
170
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,703
Pretty girls get geeky boys
to do their homework for them.
171
00:09:21,539 --> 00:09:24,501
Jackie, you're supposed to do
fun stuff, like go roller-skating,
172
00:09:24,543 --> 00:09:27,047
not teach her to prostitute
herself for geometry notes.
173
00:09:28,549 --> 00:09:32,137
She's cool. Why can't
she be my Big Sister?
174
00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:36,478
See, Donna already has a
little sister. Her name's Eric.
175
00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:49,622
Okay, get under the sink and loosen
that disposal so we can get to the pipes.
176
00:09:49,665 --> 00:09:50,750
Under there?
177
00:09:52,878 --> 00:09:56,050
But it's all spidery.
178
00:09:58,261 --> 00:10:00,014
Get under there
or you're gonna get a spider
179
00:10:00,056 --> 00:10:01,433
the size of my foot in your ass.
180
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,817
I just realized something.
181
00:10:07,859 --> 00:10:09,820
After all the years of
me helping you fix stuff,
182
00:10:09,862 --> 00:10:12,909
you finally have to
hold the flashlight for me.
183
00:10:14,077 --> 00:10:15,788
Lower, dumb ass!
184
00:10:20,336 --> 00:10:23,215
All right, I'm in.
I'm just gonna loosen the...
185
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:25,176
Spider! Big one!
Oh, my God, it touched me!
186
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:35,526
A Brillo pad? You were
afraid of a Brillo pad?
187
00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:40,325
It bit me.
188
00:10:40,366 --> 00:10:44,289
Boy, somewhere down the line
I failed with you.
189
00:10:44,331 --> 00:10:46,710
You know, I think it was that
one day when you were 10
190
00:10:46,752 --> 00:10:48,295
and I caught you
with those dolls.
191
00:10:49,923 --> 00:10:52,385
They were action figures.
192
00:10:57,769 --> 00:11:00,064
I want to go to the movies.
193
00:11:00,106 --> 00:11:02,609
Why? You're watching me
live my life.
194
00:11:04,445 --> 00:11:05,865
It's better than any movie.
195
00:11:10,412 --> 00:11:12,206
Afternoon, civilians.
196
00:11:13,584 --> 00:11:15,211
Where's my frog,
you son of a bitch?
197
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:21,722
Well, the good news is
I let him loose.
198
00:11:21,763 --> 00:11:24,434
And the bad news is he
hopped in front of an 18-wheeler.
199
00:11:26,604 --> 00:11:29,274
Now, he dodged the first
wheel, but the last 17 got him.
200
00:11:31,611 --> 00:11:34,533
Hey, did you show up
in a cop car?
201
00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:38,581
Yeah. My training officer let
me take the cruiser out for a spin.
202
00:11:38,622 --> 00:11:39,708
Mind if we check it out?
203
00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:42,670
Fine. Just don't
touch anything.
204
00:11:42,712 --> 00:11:45,092
I'll be in the bathroom taking
care of some police business.
205
00:11:45,133 --> 00:11:47,511
Or as the boys down
at the station like to say,
206
00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:49,014
I'll be taking a 10-100.
207
00:11:52,811 --> 00:11:54,940
How would you like
to see a police car?
208
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:58,779
I already saw one when the
police took my daddy to jail.
209
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:01,341
All right. You know what? Cheer
up, or you're not getting lunch.
210
00:12:03,577 --> 00:12:04,746
Jackie!
211
00:12:04,788 --> 00:12:07,250
Oh, Donna, don't worry,
you're getting lunch.
212
00:12:08,334 --> 00:12:09,837
Okay, you know what?
213
00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:13,050
You don't have a clue when
it comes to dealing with kids.
214
00:12:13,092 --> 00:12:15,855
Well, if you think you're so good
at it, why don't you give it a shot?
215
00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:17,975
Okay, I will.
216
00:12:18,016 --> 00:12:20,377
Come on, Colette, you've just
been upgraded to Little Donna.
217
00:12:24,358 --> 00:12:26,528
What... You know what?
It is your loss
218
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:28,658
because I was gonna
let you give me a pedicure.
219
00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:36,335
I can't believe they
trusted Kelso with a cop car.
220
00:12:38,131 --> 00:12:39,651
I can't believe
he left the keys in it.
221
00:12:44,265 --> 00:12:45,642
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
222
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,229
Burn rubber, little buddy.
223
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:53,946
Hey!
224
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,433
You're out of soap
in the men's room.
225
00:12:59,663 --> 00:13:01,373
My eagle eye catches everything.
226
00:13:12,474 --> 00:13:15,270
This is so exciting.
What should we do next?
227
00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:16,856
Plant some evidence?
228
00:13:17,858 --> 00:13:20,778
Bust some prostitutes?
229
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:24,076
Plant some evidence in
the bust of some prostitutes?
230
00:13:25,452 --> 00:13:27,998
Oh, hey, check it out.
A walkie-talkie.
231
00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:31,879
Freeze! You're under arrest.
232
00:13:35,218 --> 00:13:37,554
Freeze, you're under arrest!
233
00:13:40,350 --> 00:13:44,774
Freeze. You're under arrest!
All right, that's the one.
234
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:50,032
This is Officer Michael
Kelso. And I'm not wearing any pants!
235
00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:54,789
Am I supposed to be driving
all over the road?
236
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:55,916
'Cause I'm loaded.
237
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,591
My car's gone!
Somebody call the police!
238
00:14:13,234 --> 00:14:15,946
Okay, that's it. I can't
fix it. I just... I can't do it.
239
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,657
What's the problem now?
240
00:14:17,698 --> 00:14:20,119
Did the fuzzy dishtowel
jump out and attack you?
241
00:14:22,581 --> 00:14:24,542
I can't believe you said
you failed with me.
242
00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:27,798
Oh, come on.
That was a joke.
243
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,135
You know, like, "A priest
and a rabbi walk into a bar,"
244
00:14:30,177 --> 00:14:31,470
or "I failed with you."
245
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:36,394
- Do you really think that?
- No, not completely.
246
00:14:38,563 --> 00:14:41,527
I mean... Maybe you're not
good at fixing stuff.
247
00:14:42,988 --> 00:14:45,533
But you stayed behind from
school to help the family out.
248
00:14:47,161 --> 00:14:48,537
And that's admirable.
249
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,501
Yeah.
250
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:55,089
Yeah, it is.
251
00:14:55,131 --> 00:14:58,553
Some might say it's the greatest
gift a son could give his father.
252
00:14:59,972 --> 00:15:01,933
No, the greatest gift
a son could give his father
253
00:15:01,975 --> 00:15:02,975
is a Heisman Trophy.
254
00:15:05,647 --> 00:15:07,734
Look, you've tortured yourself
enough for one day.
255
00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:10,530
- Let's just pack it up
and call the plumber.
- No, no.
256
00:15:10,571 --> 00:15:13,116
Look, I can fix some things.
257
00:15:13,158 --> 00:15:15,704
Boba Fett's jetpack doesn't
just glue itself back on.
258
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:21,046
You know what? I'm gonna
fix the lawnmower. Right now.
259
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:25,052
Now, why would you wanna
embarrass yourself like that?
260
00:15:25,094 --> 00:15:27,764
I mean, I'll be standing there
and you'll be standing there,
261
00:15:27,805 --> 00:15:29,058
and the mower won't work,
262
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,061
and I'll say something mean
and claim it's a joke.
263
00:15:33,898 --> 00:15:36,069
I'm gonna fix that lawnmower.
264
00:15:36,111 --> 00:15:39,073
I'm gonna fix
the hell out of it.
265
00:15:39,115 --> 00:15:40,885
And when I'm done, you're
gonna be able to race that baby
266
00:15:40,909 --> 00:15:42,870
at the Indy 500.
267
00:15:42,912 --> 00:15:44,498
Now, look, Son,
just so you know,
268
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,352
the lawnmower's the red thing
with the wheels on it.
269
00:15:46,376 --> 00:15:48,546
Yeah? Well, not for long!
270
00:15:57,059 --> 00:15:58,686
More news after this.
271
00:15:58,728 --> 00:16:00,731
You know, if a white man
had stolen that car,
272
00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:02,275
it'd be all over that news.
273
00:16:02,317 --> 00:16:04,194
Fez, not having
every cop in Wisconsin
274
00:16:04,236 --> 00:16:06,072
looking for us
is probably a good thing.
275
00:16:06,114 --> 00:16:07,199
Shut up, whitey.
276
00:16:11,289 --> 00:16:13,334
Has anyone seen Little Jackie?
277
00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:15,838
- No. Why?
- Never mind.
278
00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:22,264
Oh, my God.
You lost Little Jackie?
279
00:16:22,306 --> 00:16:25,269
No, I didn't lose Little...
Jackie!
280
00:16:27,147 --> 00:16:29,984
We're playing hide-and-seek
and she's really, really good.
281
00:16:30,026 --> 00:16:32,446
Oh, so you look for her,
but when you play with Fez,
282
00:16:32,488 --> 00:16:33,969
you let him sit
in the closet all day.
283
00:16:36,744 --> 00:16:38,540
I cannot believe you, Donna.
284
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,710
You said I didn't know what I
was doing, and look at what you did.
285
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,672
Okay, are you going to
help me find her or not?
286
00:16:43,713 --> 00:16:46,218
Well, I'm gonna have to.
I mean, this is serious.
287
00:16:46,259 --> 00:16:47,570
If we don't find
that little girl,
288
00:16:47,594 --> 00:16:49,195
I'm gonna get, like,
half-hour detention.
289
00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:55,357
Okay.
290
00:16:57,318 --> 00:16:58,986
Where's my cop car?
291
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,494
You know what?
I'm gonna count to three.
292
00:17:03,536 --> 00:17:06,415
And before I'm done, you'd
better tell me where it is.
293
00:17:06,456 --> 00:17:08,376
One, two...
294
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:11,548
Two-and-a-half.
295
00:17:13,175 --> 00:17:14,176
Three.
296
00:17:15,762 --> 00:17:18,475
No, you can't say "three".
That's not how it works.
297
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:23,274
Did my frog know how it worked
when he saw that tire coming?
298
00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:30,159
His tiny green life flashing
before his eyes?
299
00:17:32,079 --> 00:17:34,499
Guys, come on, you can't
just take somebody's car
300
00:17:34,541 --> 00:17:36,544
without asking permission.
301
00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:41,469
And especially since I kind of
took it without asking permission.
302
00:17:43,805 --> 00:17:46,142
- What?
- You stoled it?
303
00:17:46,183 --> 00:17:47,478
I was supposed to be watching it
304
00:17:47,519 --> 00:17:49,080
while my training officer
got a haircut.
305
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,984
They're gonna have
my paper badge for this.
306
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:15,187
Mom, Dad, come quick!
I fixed it! I fixed it.
307
00:18:18,149 --> 00:18:22,238
It was like God had control
over my hands.
308
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,660
- Let me... Let me start it for you.
- Eric, don't.
309
00:18:24,702 --> 00:18:26,663
I've seen you use a wrench.
310
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:29,386
If you went lefty-loosey instead
of righty-tighty, we could all die.
311
00:18:30,669 --> 00:18:33,297
- Let me just
put this in the garage.
- Wait, but, Dad...
312
00:18:33,339 --> 00:18:36,427
No, no, honey, honey. Your
father's right. It's not safe.
313
00:18:36,469 --> 00:18:37,888
We'll let Bob start it later.
314
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,944
What did you do?
315
00:18:50,031 --> 00:18:54,246
Why? Why?
Why is it always my house?
316
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,519
You really wanna know, or
you wanna just keep yelling?
317
00:18:57,543 --> 00:18:59,170
I wanna keep yelling.
318
00:19:00,882 --> 00:19:02,067
I don't care whose fault it is.
319
00:19:02,091 --> 00:19:03,927
Just get that thing
out of here now!
320
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,014
Yes, sir.
321
00:19:06,056 --> 00:19:09,436
All right, everybody. Show's
over, let's go in the house.
322
00:19:09,477 --> 00:19:12,315
Dad, the lawnmower. I fixed
the lawnmower, you've gotta see.
323
00:19:12,357 --> 00:19:13,526
Kelso, wait!
324
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,204
Hey, look, Fez,
just like your frog.
325
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:26,838
Well, it was broken anyway.
326
00:19:29,383 --> 00:19:31,970
No, it wasn't.
327
00:19:33,222 --> 00:19:35,559
I fixed it.
328
00:19:35,601 --> 00:19:37,186
Mom, you believe me, don't you?
329
00:19:37,228 --> 00:19:39,064
Of course I do, honey.
330
00:19:39,106 --> 00:19:41,861
I believe that you believe
you fixed it.
331
00:19:58,636 --> 00:20:00,013
Why are you in my seat?
332
00:20:00,054 --> 00:20:02,016
This automobile has not moved.
333
00:20:03,853 --> 00:20:05,772
Wait, you didn't ask me that.
334
00:20:13,659 --> 00:20:15,745
Did you touch anything?
335
00:20:15,787 --> 00:20:18,834
Because if you did,
you are in big trouble.
336
00:20:18,876 --> 00:20:22,047
No, I can assure you,
everything is exactly as you left it.
337
00:20:23,884 --> 00:20:26,136
Hey, Kelso, did you get
the cop car back
338
00:20:26,178 --> 00:20:27,739
before your boss found out
you stole it?
339
00:20:30,685 --> 00:20:33,064
Okay, that...
I can explain that.
340
00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:35,609
Where am I?
341
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,699
I can't explain that.
342
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:46,083
Socket wrench.
343
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:50,716
Drives the spaceship.
Sits next to the hairy guy.
344
00:20:54,137 --> 00:20:55,137
Han Solo.
345
00:20:56,975 --> 00:20:59,228
Flathead screwdriver.
346
00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:01,106
I know this. Guy with
the breathing problem.
347
00:21:04,445 --> 00:21:07,992
"Guy with the breathing problem."
This is Darth freaking Vader.
348
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,179
Seriously, Dad, if you don't
know the Dark Lord of the Sith,
349
00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,164
the most hated enemy
of the Jedi warrior,
350
00:21:12,206 --> 00:21:15,253
then I guess somewhere
down the line I failed with you.
351
00:21:23,307 --> 00:21:24,350
Marker.
352
00:21:24,392 --> 00:21:26,353
Oh! He peed on me!
353
00:21:26,395 --> 00:21:28,148
That's resisting arrest.
354
00:21:29,441 --> 00:21:30,693
That's resisting arrest.
355
00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:33,155
Put that down.
356
00:21:33,196 --> 00:21:34,407
Give it to me!
357
00:21:43,505 --> 00:21:44,505
Give me that.
358
00:21:47,011 --> 00:21:48,011
God.
359
00:21:48,035 --> 00:21:50,036
http://hiqve.com/