1
00:00:04,821 --> 00:00:07,742
So, you gotta work at the
radio station on Christmas Eve?
2
00:00:07,783 --> 00:00:09,537
God, it's like,
doesn't anyone respect
3
00:00:09,579 --> 00:00:11,456
the sanctity of that holy night?
4
00:00:11,498 --> 00:00:12,892
We were gonna get
drunk and fool around
5
00:00:12,916 --> 00:00:15,587
behind your dad's manger scene.
6
00:00:15,628 --> 00:00:17,464
But this is my first
shot at deejaying.
7
00:00:17,506 --> 00:00:20,260
If I do well, Hot Donna
could be the regular DJ
8
00:00:20,301 --> 00:00:24,390
on Tuesdays from
1:00 to 5:00 a.m.
9
00:00:24,432 --> 00:00:26,935
Every insomniac and burn-out
in town is gonna know who I am.
10
00:00:26,976 --> 00:00:29,606
Well, say hello to
your target audience.
11
00:00:31,149 --> 00:00:32,526
Play more Zeppelin.
12
00:00:33,819 --> 00:00:35,948
You guys, I've got
some terrible news.
13
00:00:35,989 --> 00:00:37,909
I've just been kicked off
the cheerleading squad.
14
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,494
Oh, my gentle Jesus!
Oh, no!
15
00:00:39,536 --> 00:00:41,830
Oh, why?
16
00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:45,001
Jackie, I know how you feel. I
once got kicked off a cheerleader.
17
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,507
Well, I need to get
back on that squad.
18
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,719
They might be a bunch of
pom-pom waving bitches,
19
00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:53,680
but they're all I know.
20
00:00:53,722 --> 00:00:57,143
Steven, you've gotta take me to the
Christmas Eve dance tomorrow night.
21
00:00:57,184 --> 00:00:59,354
Uh, no.
22
00:00:59,396 --> 00:01:01,983
I can either dance with you or
spend Christmas Eve with you.
23
00:01:02,024 --> 00:01:03,568
Cannot do a combo.
24
00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:06,531
Steven, they will never take me
back if I don't show up all proud.
25
00:01:06,573 --> 00:01:07,949
If you could just see No.
26
00:01:07,991 --> 00:01:09,428
That this is something that's
really important to me, No.
27
00:01:09,452 --> 00:01:11,179
Then you'd understand that,
as my boyfriend, you should go.
28
00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:12,456
No!
Fine.
29
00:01:13,081 --> 00:01:14,207
Please?
30
00:01:15,669 --> 00:01:16,877
Fine.
Okay.
31
00:01:18,088 --> 00:01:19,173
Hey, shut up.
32
00:01:19,214 --> 00:01:20,855
If I'm going,
you guys are coming with me.
33
00:01:20,883 --> 00:01:24,347
Oh, no. I cannot go
to a high-school dance.
34
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:27,351
I'm gonna be a father soon, I
gotta start acting more mature.
35
00:01:27,392 --> 00:01:28,852
All right, orange!
36
00:01:32,608 --> 00:01:34,736
Yeah, I'm not going either.
37
00:01:34,778 --> 00:01:36,297
The football team and I have
a little disagreement.
38
00:01:36,321 --> 00:01:38,949
They think it's funny
to stuff me into a locker,
39
00:01:40,243 --> 00:01:42,705
and I disagree.
40
00:01:42,746 --> 00:01:45,249
Yeah, man, the day I
graduated, I promised myself
41
00:01:45,291 --> 00:01:48,086
I would never set foot in
that godforsaken place again.
42
00:01:48,755 --> 00:01:50,382
Great news, kids.
43
00:01:50,423 --> 00:01:53,594
Red's gonna be the Santa down
at the mall on Christmas Eve,
44
00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:56,431
and I've signed you all up
to be his little helpers.
45
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,233
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.
46
00:02:03,274 --> 00:02:05,295
We're all going to the
Christmas Eve dance at school.
47
00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:06,904
Yeah!
48
00:02:10,492 --> 00:02:12,704
♪ Hanging out
49
00:02:14,456 --> 00:02:16,124
♪ Down the street
50
00:02:17,878 --> 00:02:19,922
♪ The same old thing
51
00:02:21,591 --> 00:02:23,927
♪ We did last week
52
00:02:25,096 --> 00:02:28,893
♪ Not a thing to do
53
00:02:28,934 --> 00:02:32,814
♪ But talk to you
54
00:02:32,856 --> 00:02:34,483
♪ We're all all right
55
00:02:34,525 --> 00:02:36,278
♪ We're all all right
56
00:02:37,112 --> 00:02:38,948
Hello, Wisconsin!
57
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,210
Don't go away, kids,
58
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,338
A Year Without A Santa Claus
will be right back.
59
00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:53,885
Man, Heat Miser's badass.
60
00:02:53,927 --> 00:02:55,988
So, what time are you coming
down to the station tonight?
61
00:02:56,012 --> 00:02:58,014
Let's see, the Christmas
dance starts at 8:00,
62
00:02:58,056 --> 00:02:59,768
so I'll just come as
soon as it gets lame.
63
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:01,353
Say, uh, 8:02.
64
00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,190
Yeah. Hey, you know what?
65
00:03:04,232 --> 00:03:05,710
I'll even bring you
something sweet to munch on.
66
00:03:05,734 --> 00:03:07,612
Oh, and some cookies.
67
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,407
What? Oh, what?
68
00:03:10,449 --> 00:03:12,117
Okay, now, please...
69
00:03:13,411 --> 00:03:15,289
Stand still.
70
00:03:15,331 --> 00:03:17,708
Nobody likes a Santa
with plumber's butt.
71
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,211
Why am I doing this?
72
00:03:20,253 --> 00:03:22,590
Because I wanna
force some good cheer
73
00:03:22,632 --> 00:03:25,761
through your clogged arteries
and into your cranky heart.
74
00:03:26,888 --> 00:03:28,807
Yeah, it's like Christmas Drano.
75
00:03:31,393 --> 00:03:34,230
I can't believe you're
replacing me as Santa, Red.
76
00:03:34,272 --> 00:03:37,026
Three years and now
management says I'm too jolly.
77
00:03:38,195 --> 00:03:39,571
What do you want, Bob?
78
00:03:39,613 --> 00:03:41,115
I want to be Santa.
79
00:03:41,157 --> 00:03:43,661
Well, it's Red's turn this year.
80
00:03:43,703 --> 00:03:46,414
Santa could use an elf.
81
00:03:46,456 --> 00:03:49,627
Fine, but I don't wanna sit in the
back and pretend to assemble toys.
82
00:03:49,669 --> 00:03:51,964
I want to participate.
83
00:03:52,006 --> 00:03:54,759
Yeah, Bob,
you gotta keep your dignity.
84
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,427
If you're in an elf costume,
85
00:03:56,469 --> 00:04:00,266
you don't want that tiny
hammer making you look silly.
86
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:02,185
Steven, for the
Christmas Eve dance... No.
87
00:04:02,227 --> 00:04:03,497
What do you think
about this tie? No.
88
00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:04,605
Maybe this jacket...
No.
89
00:04:04,647 --> 00:04:05,524
How about a blazer?
No.
90
00:04:05,566 --> 00:04:07,067
Fine... Bolo?
91
00:04:08,069 --> 00:04:09,111
Fine.
Okay.
92
00:04:16,204 --> 00:04:18,624
Okay, Brooke,
I made a list of reasons
93
00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:21,545
why I'm gonna make a
great dad for our little baby.
94
00:04:22,923 --> 00:04:25,384
Okay, number one, I am a waiter.
95
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:30,265
So we'll never
run out of straws.
96
00:04:30,306 --> 00:04:33,061
See? Look,
kids love straws.
97
00:04:34,479 --> 00:04:38,777
Michael, I really appreciate
the gesture, but no thanks.
98
00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:42,156
Seriously,
I think if we just hang out,
99
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:44,493
you'll see that I'm getting
a lot more mature.
100
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:47,456
I mean, just the other day
I watched golf and took a nap.
101
00:04:48,874 --> 00:04:51,127
Look, Michael, if we
weren't in this situation,
102
00:04:51,168 --> 00:04:53,380
I think you'd be
a really good friend.
103
00:04:53,422 --> 00:04:56,468
I mean, you're nice,
you bring me stuff,
104
00:04:57,594 --> 00:04:59,722
dogs love you.
105
00:04:59,764 --> 00:05:03,226
I just think we should limit
our time together to
106
00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:04,646
almost none.
107
00:05:04,687 --> 00:05:08,191
Okay, how about we make a
compromise between "almost none"
108
00:05:08,233 --> 00:05:10,821
and what I want to do,
which is "it"?
109
00:05:13,282 --> 00:05:16,954
Okay, if you want, you can
help me hang decorations tonight
110
00:05:16,996 --> 00:05:18,873
for the library's
Christmas party.
111
00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:20,960
Spend Christmas
Eve in a library?
112
00:05:22,044 --> 00:05:23,964
Why don't you just
kick me in the 'nads?
113
00:05:33,518 --> 00:05:35,771
Okay, here comes Julie,
the head cheerleader.
114
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,607
Now, Steven, make me look good.
115
00:05:37,649 --> 00:05:39,026
Hello, Jackie.
116
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,611
Hello, Julie.
117
00:05:40,653 --> 00:05:43,197
This is my boyfriend,
Steven J. Hyde III.
118
00:05:44,825 --> 00:05:46,201
First two are in jail.
119
00:05:48,287 --> 00:05:52,919
He pretends to be poor.
Isn't that funny?
120
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,006
I have to say, I thought
you'd be too embarrassed
121
00:05:55,048 --> 00:05:56,382
to show your face here tonight.
122
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:59,761
Well, to be honest, I only
came to see your outfit,
123
00:05:59,804 --> 00:06:02,390
so I'd know what not to wear.
124
00:06:02,431 --> 00:06:04,351
Well, let me show you the back.
125
00:06:08,774 --> 00:06:10,986
If you're trying to get back
on the cheerleading squad,
126
00:06:11,028 --> 00:06:12,278
shouldn't you be nice to her?
127
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,866
Bitchiness is the only language
cheerleaders understand.
128
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,409
These are bad girls,
129
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:18,579
they need to be punished,
and they know it.
130
00:06:20,582 --> 00:06:24,003
Yeah, this is way better than
hanging out at the library with Brooke.
131
00:06:24,045 --> 00:06:26,090
Lot of great memories in here.
132
00:06:26,131 --> 00:06:28,258
Did it in there.
133
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,721
Did it back there.
134
00:06:30,763 --> 00:06:33,349
Got caught by Miss Tompkins
doing it down there.
135
00:06:34,935 --> 00:06:38,106
Did it with Miss
Tompkins over there.
136
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,775
Everyone, look for
football players.
137
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,486
I cannot spend another
holiday in a locker.
138
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:45,824
And this time, if I don't
show up for two days,
139
00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:47,452
come look for me.
140
00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:50,915
Oh, my God!
Eric Forman?
141
00:06:50,957 --> 00:06:53,168
You look great,
I love your shirt.
142
00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:55,755
Really?
143
00:06:55,797 --> 00:06:59,135
I wore this shirt for four
years, and no one said a thing.
144
00:06:59,176 --> 00:07:01,220
I guess now you
really fill it out.
145
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,305
Thanks.
146
00:07:06,477 --> 00:07:09,022
I'm, like, up to 17
push-ups a night so...
147
00:07:10,483 --> 00:07:12,527
No, I don't think that's it.
148
00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:15,030
I think it's because you're
not a high-school boy anymore.
149
00:07:15,072 --> 00:07:16,574
Yeah, you're 18 now.
150
00:07:16,616 --> 00:07:18,828
You've seen and done it all.
151
00:07:18,869 --> 00:07:20,788
No, no, I...
152
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,207
Yes.
153
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,962
Yes, I have.
154
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:29,801
Hey, you need to watch out,
okay? Girls are talking to you.
155
00:07:29,843 --> 00:07:33,181
I think there might be
a practical joke in the works.
156
00:07:33,222 --> 00:07:35,558
No, man, I don't think so.
157
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,519
I think it's 'cause I graduated.
158
00:07:38,354 --> 00:07:39,772
Hyde, am I cool now?
159
00:07:39,814 --> 00:07:42,359
Well, you're cool
like margarine is butter.
160
00:07:43,778 --> 00:07:45,446
Close, but there's
a little aftertaste.
161
00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:57,672
♪ Women to the left of me
162
00:07:58,923 --> 00:08:01,052
♪ And women to the right
163
00:08:01,927 --> 00:08:03,847
♪ Ain't got no gun
164
00:08:03,889 --> 00:08:06,184
♪ Ain't got no knife
165
00:08:06,226 --> 00:08:08,436
♪ Don't you start no fight
166
00:08:10,981 --> 00:08:15,487
♪ 'Cause I'm T.N.T.,
I'm dynamite
167
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:19,201
♪ T.N.T.
and I'll win the fight
168
00:08:19,243 --> 00:08:23,123
♪ T.N.T. I'm a power load
169
00:08:23,165 --> 00:08:27,420
♪ T.N.T. watch me explode
170
00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:40,813
♪ I'm dirty,
mean and mighty unclean ♪
171
00:08:42,275 --> 00:08:44,443
You're in the middle of
a Christmas Eve rock block
172
00:08:44,484 --> 00:08:47,531
on WFPP with me, Hot Donna.
173
00:08:50,786 --> 00:08:52,204
That was bacon.
174
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,295
I recorded that
myself earlier today.
175
00:08:57,336 --> 00:09:00,465
Stay tuned for more Christmas
classics with me, Hot Donna.
176
00:09:03,469 --> 00:09:05,555
I'm sorry,
but that is just too cool.
177
00:09:10,562 --> 00:09:12,774
Okay, Mr Claus,
178
00:09:14,692 --> 00:09:17,029
let's hear your
best Santa laugh.
179
00:09:17,071 --> 00:09:18,365
Ho, ho.
180
00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:22,787
You left out a "ho", Red.
181
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,499
It's three "ho's". Did you
even read the Santa manual?
182
00:09:26,584 --> 00:09:29,296
Okay, Red, I'm sure
you'll do fine.
183
00:09:29,339 --> 00:09:34,511
Just remember, Santa
is a cheerful, jolly fellow,
184
00:09:34,552 --> 00:09:36,555
who never calls
a child "dumbass".
185
00:09:38,934 --> 00:09:40,436
So, what do you
want for Christmas?
186
00:09:40,478 --> 00:09:42,063
I want a slinky.
187
00:09:42,105 --> 00:09:45,943
A slinky? Oh, you'll get
sick of a slinky in a day.
188
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,280
I'm putting you
down for flash cards.
189
00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:50,825
Math, that's what you're
getting for Christmas.
190
00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,286
Next.
191
00:09:53,162 --> 00:09:54,747
I want a pony.
192
00:09:54,789 --> 00:09:56,082
Ponies die.
193
00:09:57,584 --> 00:09:59,837
What you need is
a good pair of boots.
194
00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:02,590
Go on, keep it moving.
195
00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:05,679
I want a flying car.
196
00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:08,265
I did, too,
when I was your age, kid.
197
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:11,729
But then the future came
and took my dreams away.
198
00:10:13,605 --> 00:10:15,442
Just like it's gonna take yours.
199
00:10:17,445 --> 00:10:20,115
Okay, okay, little
girl, you know what?
200
00:10:20,157 --> 00:10:23,578
I bet, if you're extra good,
you'll get your flying car one day.
201
00:10:24,704 --> 00:10:26,874
Don't listen to her.
It's a lie.
202
00:10:26,916 --> 00:10:28,043
Bad Santa.
203
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,222
Yep, life after
graduation sure is sweet.
204
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,893
Some days I wake
up and I'm like,
205
00:10:40,935 --> 00:10:43,522
"Hey, I'm having
ice-cream for breakfast."
206
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:47,193
And you know what? I do.
207
00:10:47,570 --> 00:10:49,613
Wow!
208
00:10:49,654 --> 00:10:52,451
So, what have you two
been up to since graduation?
209
00:10:52,492 --> 00:10:54,412
She talked to me.
What do I do?
210
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,624
Yeah, I got
a librarian pregnant.
211
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:00,628
Damn! Good answer!
212
00:11:02,214 --> 00:11:06,677
So, like, Eric, what are
your plans for the future?
213
00:11:06,719 --> 00:11:11,101
Well, I guess I'm just gonna
keep on keeping on, you know?
214
00:11:13,187 --> 00:11:15,022
I'm thinking
about buying a boat.
215
00:11:17,526 --> 00:11:21,157
Okay, we're back, and if
my boyfriend's listening,
216
00:11:21,198 --> 00:11:23,576
you're late and
I'm a little worried
217
00:11:23,618 --> 00:11:26,079
you're trapped in a
snowdrift or something.
218
00:11:26,121 --> 00:11:29,502
So, honey, if you're cold,
I'm with you, baby.
219
00:11:30,668 --> 00:11:32,339
Okay, so let's
take some requests.
220
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,048
Hello, you're on the air.
221
00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:37,261
Hi, I'd like to dedicate He's
the Greatest Dancer by Sister Sledge
222
00:11:37,303 --> 00:11:40,265
to Eric Forman, the coolest
guy at the Christmas dance.
223
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,730
What? He's still at the dance?
224
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,067
Sorry, I have to go. He's
telling us about his boat.
225
00:11:50,321 --> 00:11:51,948
That sneaky bastard.
226
00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:56,621
That sneaky bastard,
Santa Claus, is on his way
227
00:11:56,663 --> 00:11:59,583
with a non-stop block
of classic Christmas tunes.
228
00:12:02,337 --> 00:12:06,677
And remember, you're listening
to WFPP, with me, Hot Donna.
229
00:12:09,721 --> 00:12:11,642
You hear that, Eric Forman?
230
00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:14,563
That's not bacon, that's your
ass when I get a hold of you.
231
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,956
Hey, I brought you
something sweet to munch on.
232
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,584
Oh! And some cookies.
233
00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:35,424
Man, I knew that was funny.
234
00:12:35,465 --> 00:12:38,177
Man, I can't stop
thinking about Brooke.
235
00:12:38,219 --> 00:12:41,181
I mean, both you and me know
that every girl in here wants me,
236
00:12:41,223 --> 00:12:44,728
except for the couple of
weirdoes that seem to want you,
237
00:12:44,768 --> 00:12:46,480
but I don't care
about any of them.
238
00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:48,918
Look, Kelso, are you sure you
don't just have a crush on Brooke
239
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:51,237
because she's a librarian,
240
00:12:51,279 --> 00:12:54,658
and you've seen some
librarian layout in Playboy?
241
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,785
Eric, I'm sure
that's part of it.
242
00:12:58,956 --> 00:13:01,459
Whatever.
I'm going to the library.
243
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,462
Whoa, that felt weird to say.
244
00:13:06,090 --> 00:13:08,552
Steven, you don't look like
you're having a good time.
245
00:13:08,594 --> 00:13:10,263
I'm not.
246
00:13:10,305 --> 00:13:13,267
I know, but I need
you to act like you are.
247
00:13:13,309 --> 00:13:14,727
Just think about
stuff you enjoy,
248
00:13:14,769 --> 00:13:18,608
like shoplifting or dirty jeans.
249
00:13:18,650 --> 00:13:22,862
Jackie, how come you never told
me you were dating an older man?
250
00:13:22,904 --> 00:13:24,532
Well, I guess I was
just distracted
251
00:13:24,574 --> 00:13:26,786
by the life I lead
outside of cheerleading,
252
00:13:26,826 --> 00:13:28,788
where I do fun and
glamorous things,
253
00:13:28,828 --> 00:13:30,831
with my older,
mysterious boyfriend.
254
00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:34,712
That's true.
Why, just last week,
255
00:13:34,754 --> 00:13:36,423
we sat on the couch
and had a fight.
256
00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:38,635
I'm jealous.
257
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,931
This dance sucks.
258
00:13:45,185 --> 00:13:48,147
None of the girls remember me.
They all think I'm a waiter.
259
00:13:49,857 --> 00:13:52,529
Hey, I got an idea how you can
get these girls' attention.
260
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:55,825
Oh, boy, does it involve me
hiding in the girls' bathroom?
261
00:13:56,325 --> 00:13:57,536
No.
262
00:13:57,577 --> 00:13:59,329
Okay, we'll try your way.
263
00:14:04,336 --> 00:14:07,923
And that's what really
happened in Vietnam.
264
00:14:09,677 --> 00:14:11,303
I don't understand.
265
00:14:11,345 --> 00:14:13,724
Neither do I, kid.
Neither do I.
266
00:14:15,518 --> 00:14:18,313
Okay, little boy, time to
say goodbye to Santa.
267
00:14:19,439 --> 00:14:20,983
What's an ambush?
268
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,988
It's a pretty bush
with yellow flowers.
269
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,913
Kitty, I gotta tell you,
I'm good with kids.
270
00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:33,918
I really taught him something.
271
00:14:33,959 --> 00:14:37,840
You know, I think I'm beginning
to feel the Christmas spirit.
272
00:14:37,882 --> 00:14:39,384
Well, I'm glad, Red.
273
00:14:39,426 --> 00:14:41,219
But let's try
telling a Christmas story
274
00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:43,931
where nobody gets
caught in a firefight.
275
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,106
Bob, what the hell
are you doing?
276
00:14:50,147 --> 00:14:52,651
You're depressing the kids.
I'm Santa now.
277
00:14:53,570 --> 00:14:56,072
Get out of my chair, Bob,
278
00:14:56,114 --> 00:14:58,701
or you're gonna get a
candy cane up your chimney.
279
00:15:00,078 --> 00:15:01,288
I'm not moving.
280
00:15:01,329 --> 00:15:04,375
Kitty, hold my silly red hat.
281
00:15:07,923 --> 00:15:10,468
You're right, I really am funny.
282
00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:18,520
What do you think you're
doing? Eric, you never showed up.
283
00:15:18,562 --> 00:15:20,188
I was worried about you.
284
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:22,484
Well, I'm sorry, I guess
I lost track of time.
285
00:15:22,525 --> 00:15:24,987
Maybe it's because
I am a god to these people.
286
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:28,158
Donna, they like this shirt.
287
00:15:28,199 --> 00:15:29,994
This is a horrible shirt.
288
00:15:31,203 --> 00:15:32,748
I gave you that shirt.
289
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:37,587
I know. I love this shirt.
290
00:15:37,629 --> 00:15:40,591
Eric, I can't believe you let
yourself get a swelled head
291
00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,904
just because a couple of
high-school kids think you're cool.
292
00:15:42,928 --> 00:15:45,974
Excuse me, aren't you Hot Donna?
293
00:15:46,015 --> 00:15:48,352
You were so awesome
on the radio today.
294
00:15:48,393 --> 00:15:49,688
You really think?
295
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,652
Wait, what's going on?
296
00:15:54,694 --> 00:15:56,029
I think we're in for a treat.
297
00:16:12,259 --> 00:16:17,057
♪ I'll have a blue Christmas ♪
298
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:28,532
Nice decorations.
299
00:16:28,574 --> 00:16:31,411
I see you're using one
of the better-tasting glues.
300
00:16:33,747 --> 00:16:35,374
What are you doing here?
301
00:16:35,416 --> 00:16:37,586
Oh, I just thought,
instead of having
302
00:16:37,627 --> 00:16:39,756
a fun Christmas
Eve somewhere else,
303
00:16:39,797 --> 00:16:42,551
I'd rather have
a boring one here with you.
304
00:16:43,886 --> 00:16:46,973
But we could have some fun.
305
00:16:47,975 --> 00:16:50,185
Michael, I've told you before,
306
00:16:50,227 --> 00:16:51,873
just because you come
to the library after hours,
307
00:16:51,897 --> 00:16:54,275
does not mean I'm gonna
walk around topless.
308
00:16:55,443 --> 00:16:56,904
But it's Christmas.
309
00:17:00,324 --> 00:17:03,245
Oh, here let me help you
with the decorations.
310
00:17:03,287 --> 00:17:06,499
Pregnant women should not
be standing on their tiptoes,
311
00:17:06,541 --> 00:17:09,128
'cause the baby will
come out all cross-eyed.
312
00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:13,551
Listen, if you think you're
gonna get me interested in you
313
00:17:13,593 --> 00:17:16,013
by being cute and
making me laugh...
314
00:17:18,557 --> 00:17:20,602
Well, it's probably gonna work.
315
00:17:21,604 --> 00:17:23,230
But if you screw this up,
316
00:17:23,272 --> 00:17:26,819
I am gonna ruin your credit with
thousands of dollars in library fines.
317
00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:28,863
Fair enough.
318
00:17:28,905 --> 00:17:32,576
Well, what say we seal
this newfound friendship
319
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,080
with a round of topless
ornament hanging?
320
00:17:36,499 --> 00:17:39,169
Okay, fine!
Whatever you wanna do.
321
00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:41,172
Topless.
322
00:17:46,428 --> 00:17:49,642
This mall is only big
enough for one Santa, Bob.
323
00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:52,646
Tell you what, you name
five reindeer and I'll step down.
324
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:55,859
I can name five toes that
are gonna be in your ass.
325
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,029
Oh, for goodness' sake!
326
00:17:58,070 --> 00:18:01,199
Why don't we stop calling it
Christmas and call it "Assmas"?
327
00:18:03,828 --> 00:18:05,746
Fine, I'll go.
328
00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:09,460
I only got worked up because
Joanne's gone, Donna's working.
329
00:18:09,502 --> 00:18:12,882
The only people I have at home
are my two friends, Egg and Nog.
330
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,469
All right, fine.
331
00:18:16,511 --> 00:18:18,848
You wanna be Santa, go ahead.
332
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,225
Thanks, Red.
333
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,852
Yeah, it's all for the best.
334
00:18:21,894 --> 00:18:26,150
I've already eaten about two
pounds of fake beard as it is.
335
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:29,905
There he is. Santa's the one who
told me that communists hate God.
336
00:18:33,951 --> 00:18:35,328
Gotta go, Santa.
337
00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:40,669
Merry Christmas, Bob.
Mrs Claus needs a drink.
338
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,677
And then I push a button,
and it sounds like bacon.
339
00:18:49,056 --> 00:18:52,227
This is so awesome.
We're like a celebrity couple.
340
00:18:53,812 --> 00:18:55,313
It's intoxicating.
341
00:18:55,355 --> 00:18:57,234
Donna, it is a heady brew.
342
00:18:58,610 --> 00:19:02,824
Hey, let's go drink beer
in front of some sophomores.
343
00:19:02,866 --> 00:19:06,037
Jackie, in light of you showing
up tonight with your boyfriend,
344
00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:08,874
who, by the way, is
totally cool and a fox...
345
00:19:08,916 --> 00:19:10,292
Big newsflash there.
346
00:19:12,462 --> 00:19:15,883
...I'd like to invite you
to rejoin the cheer squad.
347
00:19:15,925 --> 00:19:17,552
Really?
Yeah.
348
00:19:22,977 --> 00:19:24,687
Huh.
349
00:19:24,729 --> 00:19:27,191
You know, I don't think I wanna
be a cheerleader anymore.
350
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,026
But we hugged and jumped.
351
00:19:31,196 --> 00:19:33,407
Well, I'm gonna have to
take back that hug and jump
352
00:19:33,449 --> 00:19:34,617
with a pout and a shrug.
353
00:19:39,249 --> 00:19:42,211
Are you telling me I came
to this hellhole for nothing?
354
00:19:42,253 --> 00:19:44,631
No, not for nothing, Steven.
355
00:19:44,673 --> 00:19:47,177
I realize these girls
aren't my friends anymore.
356
00:19:47,218 --> 00:19:49,012
I learned something
about myself.
357
00:19:49,053 --> 00:19:50,639
Oh, well, isn't that...
358
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,858
Okay, well, if it makes you feel
any better, I get to keep the uniform.
359
00:19:57,899 --> 00:19:59,359
Yeah, that helps.
Yeah.
360
00:20:02,197 --> 00:20:04,616
You set me up! "Sing a
song, they'll all love you."
361
00:20:04,658 --> 00:20:06,744
Well, I'm gonna spend
Christmas in a locker.
362
00:20:54,268 --> 00:20:56,019
Oh, crap, I'm still on the air!
363
00:21:11,916 --> 00:21:13,460
Jigsaw puzzle.
364
00:21:17,299 --> 00:21:18,466
Baseball glove.
365
00:21:21,721 --> 00:21:23,140
Barbie doll tea set.
366
00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:25,393
Wow, you're good at this.
367
00:21:25,435 --> 00:21:27,228
Yeah, I've had
a little practice.
368
00:21:27,271 --> 00:21:28,480
Ant farm.
369
00:21:33,070 --> 00:21:34,488
It's a Lone Ranger cap gun set.
370
00:21:34,512 --> 00:21:36,513
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