1
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:03,621
♪♪♪
2
00:00:03,645 --> 00:00:04,830
So get this...
3
00:00:04,854 --> 00:00:06,164
I got fired.
4
00:00:06,188 --> 00:00:08,165
God, I never thought
I'd say this,
5
00:00:08,189 --> 00:00:10,247
but apparently,
I'm not good enough
6
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,874
for the dog food factory.
7
00:00:11,898 --> 00:00:14,916
I though you'd say that.
8
00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:16,333
Well, honey, don't worry.
9
00:00:16,357 --> 00:00:19,002
We'll get along fine
without your paycheck.
10
00:00:19,026 --> 00:00:21,418
Instead of going to the movies,
we'll watch TV.
11
00:00:21,442 --> 00:00:25,671
Instead of eating popcorn,
we'll lick salt.
12
00:00:25,695 --> 00:00:27,754
I don't know
it's like,
13
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,505
why would
joanne fire me?
14
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,131
Bob, she's your girlfriend.
Did she say anything?
15
00:00:31,155 --> 00:00:35,382
Eric, ix-nay
on the oanne-Jay.
16
00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:38,051
Donna, you know I don't
understand pig Latin.
17
00:00:38,075 --> 00:00:41,135
Bob, what is
joanne's problem?
18
00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,218
Eric, "ix-nay"
means "shut up."
19
00:00:44,242 --> 00:00:46,345
It's okay, honey.
I can talk about it.
20
00:00:46,368 --> 00:00:48,095
Me and joanne
broke up.
21
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And I didn't
see it coming.
22
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Bob, what did I tell you
last week?
23
00:00:55,748 --> 00:00:59,016
Don't cry
in your kitchen?
24
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,184
And I didn't mean
just that day.
25
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I meant always.
26
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:06,210
I'd better go, then.
27
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Nice going,
ackass-Jay.
28
00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:13,897
Ackass-Jay?
29
00:01:13,921 --> 00:01:17,732
Oh! Jackass.
30
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Well, honey, I don't think
you're a jackass.
31
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I think
you're a Jack-angel.
32
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Hey, mom, look, I know
you're worried about money,
33
00:01:26,092 --> 00:01:28,234
with dad not being
able to work,
34
00:01:28,258 --> 00:01:30,195
but I want you to know i'm
gonna get right back out there
35
00:01:30,219 --> 00:01:32,444
and get a better job,
a high-paying job.
36
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Oh, sure, just go down to
the bureau of high-paying jobs.
37
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You can't miss it.
38
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It's right next to
the pie-in-the-sky office.
39
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Jackass.
40
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♪♪♪
41
00:01:46,682 --> 00:01:49,910
Oh, really? Thank you.
42
00:01:49,934 --> 00:01:52,285
Well, the job search
is going great.
43
00:01:52,309 --> 00:01:54,120
I think I have a shot
at washing an old man's back
44
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on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
45
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They were looking for a
waiter down at the restaurant.
46
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Whoa. Why'd you tell
him? I'm up for that job.
47
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That's why I told him.
48
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,708
No, no, no.
49
00:02:08,732 --> 00:02:10,959
Look, Eric, I need this
job way more than you do.
50
00:02:10,983 --> 00:02:12,543
You don't have
a baby on the way.
51
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:15,252
But I do have
a family to support.
52
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And if I don't keep
the booze flowing,
53
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they're gonna get violent.
54
00:02:19,403 --> 00:02:22,214
Well, look,
55
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the only way Brooke
is gonna let me be
56
00:02:23,487 --> 00:02:26,090
a part of my kid's
life is if I prove to her
57
00:02:26,114 --> 00:02:27,757
that I'm responsible,
and a promotion
58
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,507
at the restaurant
would impress her.
59
00:02:29,531 --> 00:02:33,824
I mean, busboy's a job,
but waiter is a career.
60
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Okay, well,
then you know what?
61
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We'll just both
go down there, apply,
62
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,762
and may
the best man win.
63
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,512
No, I want it.
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♪♪♪
65
00:02:44,954 --> 00:02:50,140
♪ hangin' out ♪
66
00:02:50,164 --> 00:02:53,892
♪ down the street ♪
67
00:02:53,916 --> 00:02:57,851
♪ the same old thing ♪
68
00:02:57,875 --> 00:03:01,019
♪ we did last week ♪
69
00:03:01,043 --> 00:03:05,687
♪ not a thing to do ♪
70
00:03:05,711 --> 00:03:09,022
♪ but talk to you ♪
71
00:03:09,046 --> 00:03:10,940
♪ we're all all right ♪
72
00:03:10,964 --> 00:03:12,857
♪ we're all all right ♪♪
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00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:16,298
Man: Hello, Wisconsin!
74
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♪♪♪
75
00:03:22,718 --> 00:03:25,237
Laurie!
76
00:03:25,261 --> 00:03:28,404
Well, look what
the whore dragged in.
77
00:03:28,428 --> 00:03:31,279
Herself.
78
00:03:31,303 --> 00:03:33,156
Need I remind you
that you are married?
79
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,573
Oh, that's okay.
80
00:03:34,597 --> 00:03:37,056
The guy from last night
was married, too.
81
00:03:38,515 --> 00:03:40,283
What is your problem?
82
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,077
Are you two
at it again?
83
00:03:43,101 --> 00:03:44,619
Your green card
is on the way.
84
00:03:44,643 --> 00:03:46,619
I thought
this marriage was over.
85
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,536
Laurie, I gave you $50
last week to go down
86
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,621
to the courthouse
and file for divorce.
87
00:03:50,645 --> 00:03:52,371
What happened?
88
00:03:52,395 --> 00:03:55,330
Well, I had to get a new
makeup mirror and some wine.
89
00:03:55,354 --> 00:03:59,207
Tomorrow, we're going
to the courthouse.
90
00:03:59,231 --> 00:04:02,042
Hmm. The courthouse
is across town.
91
00:04:02,066 --> 00:04:04,417
I wonder if you can make
it all the way there
92
00:04:04,441 --> 00:04:06,210
without sleeping
with someone.
93
00:04:06,234 --> 00:04:09,401
I bet I can make it there
without sleeping with you.
94
00:04:11,944 --> 00:04:15,088
Bitch.
95
00:04:15,112 --> 00:04:17,172
♪♪♪
96
00:04:29,909 --> 00:04:32,761
Bob...
97
00:04:32,785 --> 00:04:35,328
What are you doing here,
anyway?
98
00:04:37,328 --> 00:04:40,931
It's just something
I'm trying out.
99
00:04:40,955 --> 00:04:43,473
How's it going?
100
00:04:43,497 --> 00:04:45,999
It's a little
uncomfortable.
101
00:04:47,624 --> 00:04:50,893
I thought it would be better
than sitting home alone.
102
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:53,334
It's not.
103
00:04:57,794 --> 00:04:59,854
Oh, my poor dad.
104
00:04:59,878 --> 00:05:03,314
Wish there was something I
could do to make him feel better.
105
00:05:03,338 --> 00:05:05,564
Well, once when I was sad
about Michael cheating on me,
106
00:05:05,588 --> 00:05:07,149
I got flowers
from a secret admirer,
107
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,816
and they cheered me
right up.
108
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,316
I mean, sure,
I sent them to myself,
109
00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:12,692
but it's the thought
that counts.
110
00:05:12,716 --> 00:05:14,235
Those flowers were
from you?
111
00:05:14,259 --> 00:05:17,069
You let me go
on and on about how
112
00:05:17,093 --> 00:05:19,778
they were from me.
113
00:05:19,802 --> 00:05:23,196
God, try a little
honesty.
114
00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:25,239
Wait. That's actually
not a bad idea.
115
00:05:25,263 --> 00:05:26,990
If my dad thought
somebody else liked him,
116
00:05:27,014 --> 00:05:30,199
he wouldn't be so bummed
about joanne.
117
00:05:30,223 --> 00:05:32,200
But men don't really
like flowers, do they?
118
00:05:32,224 --> 00:05:35,309
No, they remind us
of bees.
119
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,618
Oh, I'll send him fudge.
120
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:41,036
He loves fudge. I know
because one time, he got some,
121
00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:43,037
and I asked
if I could have a piece,
122
00:05:43,061 --> 00:05:45,037
and he quickly changed
the subject.
123
00:05:45,061 --> 00:05:47,329
Well, let me tell them
what to write on the card.
124
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I'm good at that.
125
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:50,957
When I sent myself
those flowers
126
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:53,958
and read how much I loved me,
I felt so much better.
127
00:05:53,982 --> 00:05:56,416
♪♪♪
128
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,584
Hey, Roy. Remember me?
I'm Eric forman.
129
00:05:59,608 --> 00:06:01,334
Oh, hey, how are you?
130
00:06:01,358 --> 00:06:03,335
I'm here to apply
for the waiter position.
131
00:06:03,359 --> 00:06:06,171
Roy, that's the guy
I was telling you about.
132
00:06:06,195 --> 00:06:08,712
Oh!
133
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,713
Well, I don't think
we can hire a waiter
134
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:14,965
who's got a disease that
spreads through food.
135
00:06:14,989 --> 00:06:17,591
Roy, he really doesn't
like to talk
136
00:06:17,615 --> 00:06:20,365
about
his death-a-food-a-spread-itis.
137
00:06:21,908 --> 00:06:25,469
Death-a-food-a-spreada what?
Who are you, Elmer Fudd?
138
00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:29,804
All right, fine. He
doesn't have a disease.
139
00:06:29,828 --> 00:06:32,345
I just... I really
want the job, Roy.
140
00:06:32,369 --> 00:06:34,264
Well, I wish I could
give it to both of you.
141
00:06:34,288 --> 00:06:37,056
Eric's got that zippy
personality, and kelso's all man.
142
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,183
I know what
we should do.
143
00:06:39,207 --> 00:06:40,516
We should make it
a competition.
144
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:43,373
That way, there's the
fun of someone losing.
145
00:06:46,709 --> 00:06:48,936
♪♪♪
146
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:52,146
Okay, everybody, let's put
some smiles on those faces.
147
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:54,171
We're going to get divorced.
148
00:06:56,004 --> 00:06:58,023
What the hell's this?
149
00:06:58,047 --> 00:06:59,839
Looks like a box.
150
00:07:02,049 --> 00:07:04,108
I know it's a box.
151
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,067
Hey, what's with the attitude?
I'm just making conversation.
152
00:07:07,091 --> 00:07:09,068
Looks like a box.
It is a box.
153
00:07:09,092 --> 00:07:11,302
This is how
real people talk, man.
154
00:07:19,013 --> 00:07:20,990
Oh, it's a present.
155
00:07:21,014 --> 00:07:24,532
Oh, it's a wedding
present from aunt Martha!
156
00:07:24,556 --> 00:07:27,117
You told her
about the marriage?
157
00:07:27,141 --> 00:07:30,493
We agreed never to speak
of this evil to anyone.
158
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:34,577
Well, I had
to tell a few people,
159
00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:37,745
because I never thought
I'd be able to say,
160
00:07:37,769 --> 00:07:40,080
"Laurie got married"
without adding,
161
00:07:40,104 --> 00:07:42,104
"and the baby
came early."
162
00:07:46,023 --> 00:07:50,125
Ooh, look
at the paper sparkle.
163
00:07:50,149 --> 00:07:51,876
I wonder what it is.
164
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:54,626
Well, keep wondering, 'cause
this package is going right back.
165
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,085
But daddy!
166
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:59,378
But daddy.
167
00:07:59,402 --> 00:08:01,629
No, no,
I am just curious.
168
00:08:01,653 --> 00:08:03,881
Aunt Martha's well-to-do,
so you have to figure
169
00:08:03,905 --> 00:08:07,673
it's a pretty nice present.
Don't you wanna just peek?
170
00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:09,757
No, I wanna go
to the courthouse.
171
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,091
Now get moving.
172
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,925
Whatever's in this package
might make you happy
173
00:08:12,949 --> 00:08:14,509
for a day,
174
00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:17,492
but a divorce is a gift
that lasts a lifetime.
175
00:08:20,535 --> 00:08:23,262
Guess what, girls.
176
00:08:23,286 --> 00:08:25,180
I got fudge.
177
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:27,430
Fudge?
178
00:08:27,454 --> 00:08:29,514
What a surprise!
179
00:08:29,538 --> 00:08:31,390
Who's it from?
180
00:08:31,414 --> 00:08:34,266
It doesn't say,
but there's a poem.
181
00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:36,517
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
182
00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:39,751
Fudge is sweet.
Here's some fudge."
183
00:08:43,877 --> 00:08:45,711
Well,
they rushed me.
184
00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:48,938
I wonder who it's from,
185
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,605
'cause this sounds like
someone likes you.
186
00:08:51,629 --> 00:08:55,191
I hope it's a lady.
187
00:08:57,673 --> 00:08:59,859
Hello.
188
00:08:59,883 --> 00:09:02,693
Oh, hi, joanne.
189
00:09:02,717 --> 00:09:04,277
It's joanne.
190
00:09:04,301 --> 00:09:06,653
Really?
191
00:09:06,677 --> 00:09:09,154
Well, I think it's
a little late to talk
192
00:09:09,178 --> 00:09:11,239
about getting back
together.
193
00:09:11,263 --> 00:09:13,429
Turns out
I'm very desirable.
194
00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:16,865
So I think
this is good-bye.
195
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,325
Oh, and I want my
Barry white albums back
196
00:09:19,349 --> 00:09:20,974
and my body paints.
197
00:09:26,393 --> 00:09:28,828
Oh, my god.
198
00:09:28,852 --> 00:09:31,436
I know. They painted
each other! Ugh!
199
00:09:33,312 --> 00:09:34,872
Eric, you're first.
200
00:09:34,896 --> 00:09:37,040
I'm gonna test you on the
skills every waiter should have.
201
00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:39,082
Roy,
I want you to know
202
00:09:39,106 --> 00:09:41,124
that because of my extensive
background in crafts,
203
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,334
I can fold a napkin
into a Rose, a swan
204
00:09:43,358 --> 00:09:46,043
and the rarely seen
x-wing fighter.
205
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:48,919
Cool.
206
00:09:48,943 --> 00:09:50,878
Okay, I'm gonna place
a difficult order.
207
00:09:50,902 --> 00:09:53,837
And you'll relay it to Steven
in the kitchen. Here goes.
208
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,629
I'll have the surf
and turf, no seafood,
209
00:09:55,653 --> 00:09:57,630
meat... nice and pink, mashed
potatoes not mashed,
210
00:09:57,653 --> 00:09:59,547
sliced into wedges
and fried up.
211
00:09:59,571 --> 00:10:01,673
Okay, so steak, medium
rare and French fries.
212
00:10:01,697 --> 00:10:03,632
Okay, I'm gonna need
a number 4, still kickin',
213
00:10:03,656 --> 00:10:06,259
hold the guppy
and send it to France.
214
00:10:06,283 --> 00:10:09,450
And that is how
you do that.
215
00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:13,053
I'll have the surf
and turf, no seafood,
216
00:10:13,077 --> 00:10:14,970
meat... nice and pink, mashed
potatoes not mashed,
217
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:17,512
sliced into wedges
and fried up.
218
00:10:17,536 --> 00:10:20,513
One cheeseburger.
219
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,556
It's very important
that a waiter can deal
220
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,391
with difficult customers.
221
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,515
Steven and I are gonna play
a married couple.
222
00:10:26,539 --> 00:10:28,808
I'm not so into this,
Roy.
223
00:10:28,832 --> 00:10:32,269
Excuse me,
waiter. This wine is no good.
224
00:10:32,293 --> 00:10:33,894
It's our anniversary,
225
00:10:33,918 --> 00:10:37,561
and I want everything
to be perfect.
226
00:10:37,585 --> 00:10:38,811
God knows,
227
00:10:38,835 --> 00:10:41,813
it's hard enough just
to get him out of the house.
228
00:10:41,837 --> 00:10:43,813
Oh, I'm very sorry,
madame.
229
00:10:43,837 --> 00:10:46,523
If you'll allow me to bring
you a complimentary bottle
230
00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:48,857
of our finest wine,
I'd be most obliged.
231
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,025
Most obliged.
232
00:10:51,049 --> 00:10:52,549
That's Shakespeare.
233
00:10:54,426 --> 00:10:57,111
Waiter, it's our anniversary,
234
00:10:57,135 --> 00:10:59,153
and this wine is no good.
235
00:10:59,177 --> 00:11:02,612
Hey, you got a lot more
problems than the wine.
236
00:11:02,636 --> 00:11:05,114
You are
one ugly broad.
237
00:11:05,138 --> 00:11:08,365
I do not appreciate
your tone.
238
00:11:08,389 --> 00:11:11,390
My tone? Dude,
your wife's a bitch.
239
00:11:13,266 --> 00:11:15,242
Okay, work your way
around the tables
240
00:11:15,266 --> 00:11:17,076
with a tray full of dishes
without spilling
241
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,701
or dropping anything.
242
00:11:18,725 --> 00:11:22,060
And for god's sakes,
watch out for the baby.
243
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,997
Go!
244
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,374
10 bucks says his skinny little
wrist snaps under the weight.
245
00:11:32,398 --> 00:11:34,124
I'll take that bet.
246
00:11:34,148 --> 00:11:37,481
He's scrawny, but
strong, like the viet cong.
247
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:46,296
So, like, when
does this test start?
248
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,046
Oh, what's this?
249
00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:51,005
Roy, I think you might
have left a $20 bill
250
00:11:51,029 --> 00:11:52,463
tucked in my sleeve.
251
00:11:52,487 --> 00:11:55,840
I'm always
losing stuff.
252
00:11:55,864 --> 00:11:58,007
No, Roy, that was...
253
00:11:58,031 --> 00:11:59,531
And go!
254
00:12:01,325 --> 00:12:04,159
Ha ha ha!
255
00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:16,889
Well, Eric,
you're hired.
256
00:12:16,913 --> 00:12:18,932
Oh, really?
257
00:12:18,956 --> 00:12:21,100
Roy,
this is like a dream,
258
00:12:21,124 --> 00:12:24,334
a really mediocre dream.
259
00:12:30,127 --> 00:12:31,603
♪♪♪
260
00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:32,937
All right, everybody,
261
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,938
only 12 signatures
to the end
262
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:38,504
of what I like to call
"the shame."
263
00:12:44,048 --> 00:12:46,025
It's still there,
264
00:12:46,049 --> 00:12:48,567
and it calls to me,
265
00:12:48,591 --> 00:12:52,551
like a box with
something mysterious in it.
266
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,322
There's nothing like a present
wrapped in beautiful paper.
267
00:12:58,346 --> 00:13:02,240
It's like Cary Grant
in a tuxedo.
268
00:13:02,264 --> 00:13:04,473
I just wanna rip it off!
269
00:13:06,349 --> 00:13:08,866
Don't touch it.
270
00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:10,909
I'm not.
271
00:13:10,933 --> 00:13:12,851
I'm smelling it.
272
00:13:14,852 --> 00:13:17,853
Ooh! What does it
smell like?
273
00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,355
A box.
274
00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:26,706
I hope it's
a sewing machine.
275
00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:28,166
I hope it's a TV.
276
00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:31,107
I hope
it's a chocolate TV.
277
00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:37,419
There could be
perishables in there.
278
00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:40,986
Oh, my god.
What if it's a puppy?
279
00:13:42,862 --> 00:13:44,130
We have to open it.
280
00:13:44,154 --> 00:13:46,529
I don't care
if Eric's in there.
281
00:13:48,072 --> 00:13:49,590
It's going back.
282
00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:51,882
Now let's get
these signed.
283
00:13:51,906 --> 00:13:54,176
Look, right here.
Paper's ripped.
284
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,384
Oh, my gosh.
You're right.
285
00:13:56,408 --> 00:14:00,886
Hmm. I see part
of a word. "More."
286
00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:03,179
And under that,
something "crow."
287
00:14:03,203 --> 00:14:05,971
"More crow."
"More crow."
288
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,222
It's a kenmore
microwave!
289
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:11,140
I win! I win!
290
00:14:12,706 --> 00:14:15,058
♪♪♪
291
00:14:15,082 --> 00:14:16,600
Hey, Hyde,
292
00:14:16,624 --> 00:14:18,268
where's table seven's
fish?
293
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,059
Oh, I got that for you,
Eric.
294
00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:23,186
Here is
your filet of sole.
295
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:25,044
Burn!
296
00:14:28,628 --> 00:14:31,046
All right, Eric, here's
the pea soup you ordered.
297
00:14:33,381 --> 00:14:36,524
You peed in the soup,
didn't you?
298
00:14:36,548 --> 00:14:39,650
No, I'm done trying
to screw you over.
299
00:14:39,674 --> 00:14:42,360
It's not your fault
you got the job.
300
00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:45,944
Some people are busboys,
and some people are waiters.
301
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:49,987
And I guess i'm
just an extremely...
302
00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:52,221
Handsome busboy.
303
00:14:55,805 --> 00:14:58,324
Roy...
304
00:14:58,348 --> 00:15:00,116
That extremely handsome
busboy
305
00:15:00,140 --> 00:15:02,557
just broke my heart.
306
00:15:04,766 --> 00:15:07,702
I really don't think
he peed in the soup, Eric.
307
00:15:07,726 --> 00:15:09,703
Couldn't you find
another waiter job for him?
308
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:11,704
He needs a break.
He's got a baby on the way.
309
00:15:11,728 --> 00:15:14,413
Well, there might be
a job opening up
310
00:15:14,437 --> 00:15:16,206
'cause jeanie said
she'd quit
311
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:18,189
if I didn't stop
asking her out.
312
00:15:19,689 --> 00:15:22,833
Come on. I'm not gonna
stop asking her out.
313
00:15:22,857 --> 00:15:25,417
So look,
314
00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:27,377
if I really
work hard with kelso,
315
00:15:27,401 --> 00:15:29,211
you'll give him
another tryout?
316
00:15:29,235 --> 00:15:30,669
Sure.
317
00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:34,628
But I really don't think
he can handle it.
318
00:15:34,652 --> 00:15:37,546
And my standards for
food service are really low.
319
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,571
I haven't washed
my hands in four days.
320
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,134
Dad...
321
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,010
Too late.
I finished it.
322
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:56,761
So I was trying to figure
out who sent me the fudge.
323
00:15:56,785 --> 00:15:59,804
And I thought it could be
the lady at the pharmacy,
324
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,555
which is nice because
she's seen my prescriptions,
325
00:16:02,579 --> 00:16:05,248
so we can skip
that awkward conversation.
326
00:16:07,873 --> 00:16:10,808
Or it could be
the mail lady.
327
00:16:10,832 --> 00:16:13,394
Dad, I have to
tell you something.
328
00:16:13,418 --> 00:16:16,728
Jackie and I
sent you the fudge.
329
00:16:16,752 --> 00:16:18,853
What?
330
00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:21,480
Well, you seemed so sad, and
we wanted to cheer you up.
331
00:16:21,504 --> 00:16:23,688
But then, we screwed up
your chances
332
00:16:23,712 --> 00:16:25,564
for getting back
together with joanne, so...
333
00:16:25,588 --> 00:16:28,297
So nobody likes me.
334
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,965
We like you.
335
00:16:33,049 --> 00:16:34,841
Eh.
336
00:16:36,342 --> 00:16:38,152
We're really sorry, dad.
337
00:16:38,176 --> 00:16:40,652
I guess it's not so bad.
338
00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:43,488
I mean, I haven't thought
about joanne all day.
339
00:16:43,512 --> 00:16:45,654
Well, if you want, we can
all do something today.
340
00:16:45,678 --> 00:16:48,114
I can take you
to the model train shop.
341
00:16:48,138 --> 00:16:50,698
Some of the tiny trees
in pinciotti town
342
00:16:50,722 --> 00:16:53,199
are looking
pretty ratty.
343
00:16:53,223 --> 00:16:55,367
No, I'm gonna go down
344
00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:57,743
and talk to the girl
at the pharmacy.
345
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:01,411
She's got a better keister
than the mail lady.
346
00:17:01,435 --> 00:17:03,745
You'd think,
with all that walking...
347
00:17:03,769 --> 00:17:06,603
Hey, guess you either
got it or you don't.
348
00:17:08,645 --> 00:17:10,872
♪♪♪
349
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:13,499
Eric, give it up. I'm not
gonna be able to do this.
350
00:17:13,523 --> 00:17:14,623
Hey.
351
00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:16,832
Now that's not
the kelso I know.
352
00:17:16,856 --> 00:17:19,418
A lot of people said you
couldn't fit 73 cherry bombs
353
00:17:19,442 --> 00:17:21,210
into a toilet,
and who proved them wrong?
354
00:17:21,234 --> 00:17:25,586
I did.
355
00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:26,920
That's right,
and a lot of people said
356
00:17:26,944 --> 00:17:29,422
you couldn't make out with
both of the ziegler twins
357
00:17:29,445 --> 00:17:31,422
in the same night,
and who proved them wrong?
358
00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:33,613
I did.
359
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,715
And I also brushed
their mom's boob
360
00:17:37,739 --> 00:17:39,758
at a bake sale, so
actually, it was a three-fer.
361
00:17:39,782 --> 00:17:42,426
Exactly. You are
Michael kelso, right?
362
00:17:42,450 --> 00:17:44,385
You make
the impossible happen.
363
00:17:44,409 --> 00:17:47,010
Now come on.
Let's do this.
364
00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:48,594
Okay, ready,
365
00:17:48,618 --> 00:17:50,303
get set...
366
00:17:50,327 --> 00:17:52,120
Kelso!
367
00:17:54,288 --> 00:17:56,638
What?!
368
00:17:56,662 --> 00:17:59,206
Good luck.
369
00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:03,392
♪♪♪
370
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,560
Ahh,
what a beautiful morning.
371
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,726
The birds are singing.
The flowers are blooming.
372
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:11,019
Divorce is in the air.
373
00:18:11,043 --> 00:18:13,728
Now let's finish this.
374
00:18:13,752 --> 00:18:16,313
Red, no one wants to get
divorced on an empty stomach.
375
00:18:17,379 --> 00:18:19,464
Ooh!
And that's breakfast.
376
00:18:22,214 --> 00:18:24,899
You used the microwave.
377
00:18:24,923 --> 00:18:27,484
Red forman, I firmly
believe that god wants me
378
00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:30,485
to bake a potato
in four minutes.
379
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:34,819
No, god wants
these two divorced
380
00:18:34,843 --> 00:18:36,987
and all evidence
of their unholy union
381
00:18:37,011 --> 00:18:38,238
out of this house.
382
00:18:38,262 --> 00:18:40,281
We got
another present!
383
00:18:40,305 --> 00:18:43,948
No, no. Don't open it
'cause we're not keeping it.
384
00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:45,598
Whoa.
385
00:18:48,182 --> 00:18:51,368
Look at that saw!
386
00:18:51,392 --> 00:18:54,660
It's from Billy Schneider
down at the hardware store.
387
00:18:54,684 --> 00:18:56,994
He's had a crush on me
ever since
388
00:18:57,018 --> 00:19:01,496
I went ladder shopping
in that miniskirt.
389
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,705
Okay,
just to make it clear,
390
00:19:03,729 --> 00:19:06,206
if you're buying me a gift,
I want candy.
391
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,749
For my birthday,
392
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:12,875
Christmas,
daylight savings... candy.
393
00:19:12,899 --> 00:19:14,626
Candy!
394
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:16,692
Now you can have the saw,
red.
395
00:19:18,402 --> 00:19:20,295
No, I...
396
00:19:20,319 --> 00:19:23,921
That would be,
uh, wrong.
397
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,880
Well...
398
00:19:25,904 --> 00:19:29,340
It would be wrong
if they were divorced,
399
00:19:29,364 --> 00:19:31,549
but if they stayed married,
400
00:19:31,573 --> 00:19:34,199
sending the gifts back
would be rude.
401
00:19:36,825 --> 00:19:38,784
You make a good point.
402
00:19:40,285 --> 00:19:42,761
But I want a divorce.
403
00:19:42,785 --> 00:19:45,678
I'll tell you what, honey.
We'll wait a month.
404
00:19:45,702 --> 00:19:48,996
If a riding mower hasn't
shown up by then, we'll talk.
405
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,307
Okay, remember, buddy.
406
00:19:52,331 --> 00:19:54,308
The tray is like a lady.
407
00:19:54,332 --> 00:19:56,124
Dance with her.
408
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,375
And go!
409
00:20:34,346 --> 00:20:36,990
I did it!
410
00:20:37,014 --> 00:20:38,949
Congratulations!
You got the job.
411
00:20:38,973 --> 00:20:40,782
Oh, I can't wait
to tell Brooke.
412
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,200
Hey, welcome to the
exclusive ranks of waiter
413
00:20:43,224 --> 00:20:46,076
at a crappy
hotel restaurant.
414
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,910
I can't believe
that I did it.
415
00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:51,561
Yeah, I can't believe
the glue held.
416
00:20:55,479 --> 00:20:58,247
Yeah,
super glue kicks ass!
417
00:20:58,271 --> 00:20:59,956
You know what, kelso?
418
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:02,500
Your first shift
is not gonna go well.
419
00:21:02,524 --> 00:21:04,731
Oh, it's gonna be
a disaster.
420
00:21:12,776 --> 00:21:15,587
"Warning. Never put metal
in the microwave."
421
00:21:15,611 --> 00:21:17,695
This isn't metal.
It's soup.
422
00:21:31,741 --> 00:21:36,702
Miss kitty,
Eric broke the microwave!
423
00:21:36,726 --> 00:21:38,725
http://hiqve.com/