1 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:06,440 So, Hyde, big job fair tomorrow. 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,880 Oh, and you're in luck, 'cause I read that corporate America... 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:13,040 is experiencing a severe shortage of paranoid conspiracy nuts. 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,880 I'm not a conspiracy nut, okay? 5 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,840 My history, shop and gym teachers... 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,680 secretly started that rumor to discredit me. 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,360 I do need a job though since the Fotohut shut down. 8 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,400 And I'm never gonna get my pictures back, which is a real shame... 9 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:31,200 'cause they'll never let me under the bleachers anymore. 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,640 You need a job too, Eric... 11 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:39,040 since you just got fired from your last job by your own daddy. 12 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:43,200 Well, at least my daddy's not in jail for bribery. 13 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,160 Okay. So get this. 14 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,120 The radio station I work at... 15 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,920 wants me to work their job-fair booth as "Hot Donna." 16 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,120 All right? As if I'm some object for guys to leer at. God. 17 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:58,000 - Oh, my God! Spank me! - Oh, mama! 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,560 I guess being beautiful has its benefits. 19 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,560 Hey, shut up. I'm embarrassed. 20 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,880 I'm talkin' about me, Donna. 21 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:12,240 And the best thing about being beautiful is I can get work as a model. 22 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,760 So I don't have to go to the job fair like the rest of you "uggos." 23 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,680 Well, I cannot wait. 24 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,160 Nina will be at the D.M.V. Booth, which means that Fez... 25 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,400 will be making out during a school day. 26 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,880 How many of you suckers have made out during a school day? 27 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,720 How many of you suckers have made out during a school day in the nude? 28 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,160 Then I will be nude. 29 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,800 - Oh, my God! - What? What? 30 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,200 I got startled, 'cause I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. 31 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,800 I'm so handsome, I thought Shaun Cassidy was sitting in the backseat. 32 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,040 Yes. You are a beautiful male specimen. 33 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,320 Except you have a gray hair. 34 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,240 What? 35 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,400 No, I don't- 36 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,120 - [Siren Wails] - Dude, I hit a cop car. 37 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,920 (Rock Group Singing) 38 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,760 (Ends) 39 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,640 Hello, Wisconsin! 40 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,000 All right, Eric. Listen up. 41 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,440 You know how your mother and I feel about you and Donna getting engaged. 42 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,360 But since you won't listen to reason, I've come to a decision. 43 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,840 If you don't cancel this engagement... 44 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,840 I'm not paying for your college. 45 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,760 What? 46 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,840 Because he loves you. 47 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,760 No, he doesn't. 48 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:07,000 Yes, he does. He's full of love. 49 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,200 But it's buried, just like treasure. 50 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,640 - Dad, how could you do this? - Oh, it's easy. 51 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,120 Instead of giving $4,000 to a college... 52 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,600 I leave my checkbook in the drawer, count my money... 53 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,240 and laugh like a little girl. 54 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,720 Fine. 55 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,960 - He laughs because he loves you! - [Sl/d/ng Door Closes] 56 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,440 Where did you learn your parenting skills? 57 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,480 Korea. 58 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,360 Kitty, I am right about this. 59 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,160 Red, you can't just force people to do what you want. 60 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:52,320 Oh, see, that's one of those things that people say that's just not true. 61 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,920 Like, "There's no place like home." 62 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,880 Hell, I can think of a hundred places better than this. 63 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:07,160 - I cannot believe you hit a police car. - [Car Door Opens] 64 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,600 Now, don't worry. It's a hot lady cop. 65 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,200 [Sighs] Just watch the master. 66 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,840 License and registration. 67 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,160 Yeah. Just give me a sec here. 68 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,840 [Grunts] My wallet gets stuck, 'cause I've been working out. 69 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,480 My leg muscles are huge. 70 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,240 Oh, boy. By the way, I can bench about 220... 71 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:36,400 so that'd be about two of you, little lady. 72 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,040 What's your name? 73 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,560 Oh, my name is Fez, but I have a girlfriend... 74 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,040 so you need to cool it, little girl. 75 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,440 Yeah. I'll try. 76 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,000 Okay, Mr. Kelso. 77 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,200 I'm gonna issue you a citation. 78 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:57,120 Oh, a citation for being too foxy in a school zone? 79 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,200 No. A citation for $64. 80 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,120 Bench-press that. 81 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,960 So if we don't break off the engagement, Red's not gonna pay for my college. 82 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,080 You know, maybe this is it, Eric. Maybe Red won. 83 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,600 No. No, okay? 84 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,720 He's not gonna win. 85 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:24,320 You know what? I'll just look for something full-time at the job fair. 86 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,480 - I'll pay for college myself. People do that, right? - Yeah, people with skills. 87 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,640 - But I mean, you're cute. That's a skill. - Stop. 88 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,880 How can Red do this to me? 89 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,720 I swear to God, that man is always mad. 90 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,440 I think the gene for joy might be stored in hair. 91 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,440 Well, there are a lot of angry bald men. 92 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,800 Yul Brynner in The K/ng and I. 93 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,880 Yes. Mr. Freeze from Batman. 94 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,040 - Remember that time Robin foiled his deep freeze- - Eric. 95 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,240 What did we talk about? 96 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,440 - Every time I reference Batman, I owe you a geek dollar. - Yes. Thank you. 97 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,000 Guys, something horrible happened. 98 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,960 Let me tell it. 99 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,080 Kelso tried to charm a lady cop, and it didn't work. 100 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,320 But she was all over me, boy. 101 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,560 I'm like freaking catnip. 102 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:33,720 Guys, today made me realize looks fade! 103 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,880 I'm not- I'm not gonna be able to be a model forever! 104 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,320 I'm gonna have to get a practical, realistic job... 105 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,640 like regular, ugly people. 106 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,960 Okay, so what sounds better- wide receiver or spy? 107 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,800 Well, Kelso, I don't see why you couldn't just do both. 108 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,440 You're right. It's the perfect cover. 109 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,280 Okay. Okay, everybody! 110 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,000 This is your last school field trip, so smile! 111 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,640 - [Shutter Cl/cks] - [K/tty Laugh/ng] 112 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,520 Okay, now wave hello to your futures. Hello, futures! 113 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:17,040 [Laughs] Okay, now wave good-bye to your mothers who loved you... 114 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,560 and gave you the best years of their lives. 115 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,520 Now what are they gonna do? What? Tell me what I am supposed to do! 116 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:30,240 You're supposed to take your little, yellow pill. That's what you're supposed to do. 117 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,960 Man, look at this place. There's tons of butt-ugly people. 118 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,840 One day I'm gonna be one of'em. 119 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,800 Man, I can't do this. 120 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,440 Being around this many corporate stooges. 121 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,480 [Panting] I can't breathe! 122 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,120 Steven, stop it! This is serious. 123 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:51,000 If you keep pulling at cotton like that, it won't rebound. 124 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,720 Well, I'm off to find Nina for a little field-trip make out. 125 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,080 How many of you suckers have made out during a field trip? 126 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,800 What the hell? Was I the only one watching sausage get made? 127 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,480 Well, lookee here. 128 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,840 You know, if America's employers are looking for a pretty-boy moron... 129 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,560 an engaged hophead and a mush-mouthed foreigner... 130 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,520 they're gonna be jumpin' for joy. 131 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,760 Wait a minute. Am I the pretty-boy moron? 132 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,640 - Yes. - Cool, 'cause that's the best one. 133 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,600 - Hey. - Hey. 134 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,080 - So, you're ready for the big job search? - Yup. 135 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,080 I got my résumé, my very best blazer... 136 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,680 and a really charming story about how my biggest fault... 137 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,800 is that I just work too darn hard, so- 138 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,200 - How 'bout you? - I don't know. This is so humiliating. 139 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,200 I mean, I have a brain, you know. 140 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,240 2,000 records sorted by artist and genre. 141 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,200 I didn't do that with my boobs. 142 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,520 That'd be a neat trick though. 143 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:06,880 I've always been fascinated by the veterinary sciences. Do you have any jobs available? 144 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:11,480 Yes. We need someone to usher our four-legged friends into the next life. 145 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,680 All right. That sounds fantastic. And how do I do that? 146 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,880 You shovel the carcass into the furnace. 147 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,800 I've always been fascinated by transportation. 148 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,160 - Do you have any jobs available? - Yes, roadkill remover. 149 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,840 Except sometimes the critter's not quite dead. 150 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,640 In that case, you gotta shoot it. You're the "triggerman." 151 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,040 I've always been fascinated by... 152 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,000 meat. 153 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,600 - Do you have any jobs available? - Yes. Triggerman. 154 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,920 Please tell me you're kidding. 155 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,880 The cows don't kill themselves, son. 156 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,520 Although I did see one walk right off a cliff once. 157 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:53,720 Stock boy. Need a stock boy. 158 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,680 Not you. 159 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,160 So, if I work here... 160 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,800 will I have to slaughter anything? 161 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,720 No, we're a bank. 162 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,960 We're looking for tellers. 163 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,880 Uh, just to be perfectly clear... 164 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,080 I won't have to murder any animals? 165 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,000 Whatever you do on your own time is fine with us. 166 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,560 Hello, First Midwestern! 167 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,200 Hi. I'm Jackie, and this is Steven. 168 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,320 Steven is a no-nonsense Sagittarius... 169 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,920 who's not afraid of hard work or true love. 170 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,680 I'm Dave, a shy Pisces who's looking for love... 171 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,640 and a salesman to sell on commission. 172 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,000 - The more you sell, the more you can earn. - That's perfect for him! 173 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,480 Steven, if you can get me to date you, you can sell anything. 174 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,440 Uh, thanks, but no, thanks. 175 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,360 Wait- 176 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,520 Are you nuts? That guy almost offered me a job! 177 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,960 - So, what's wrong? - Did you hear him? 178 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,960 "The more you sell, the more you earn"? 179 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,760 The more you sleep, the more you earn. That's my job. 180 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,680 Damn, woman! 181 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,360 So, Nina, after walking around the job fair... 182 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,720 and hearing the word "job" a lot... 183 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,760 it gave me needs. 184 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,920 No. We're at a job fair. 185 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,880 Please don't say that word. 186 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,720 I can't go far from my booth. It's my job. 187 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,800 [Whispers] Stop it. 188 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,360 Hi. 189 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,560 One of your officers recently issued me a ticket. 190 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,920 - My name is Michael Kelso. - Michael Kelso. 191 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,320 Wait a minute. Officer Debbie? 192 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,920 Oh, my God! What happened to you? 193 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,200 You're like your own ugly sister! [Laughing] 194 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,120 What do you want, Mr. Kelso? 195 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,640 What do I want? I want to know how one minute you're all "waa-waa"... 196 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,200 and the next you're all- [Imitates Klaxon Blaring] 197 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,280 - Good cripes! - Hey, now- 198 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,960 I'm just saying, in your uniform you were, like, a totally hot police chick... 199 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,920 but out of your uniform you're a total pie face. 200 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,040 I mean, good God! 201 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,400 Wait a minute. 202 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,960 It's, like, you got all your charisma from your uniform. 203 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,840 What is happening to you? Are you having a stroke? What? 204 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,280 No, that's just how I look when I have an idea. 205 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,560 To Eddie. 206 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,880 Love, Hot Donna. 207 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,120 Hot Donna has now signed 87 guys! 208 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,880 And two girls. 209 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,400 It's, like, who knew, in our little town? 210 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,440 Well, I can see you... 211 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,280 got over your little bout of shyness. 212 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,840 Well, what the hell? They think I'm hot. And you know what? 213 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:01,040 - Hot Donna rules! - [Whooping] 214 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:05,040 So, great news. I got a job at First Midwestern Bank. 215 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,920 Oh, my God! Eric. 216 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,360 I know. And they have branches all over Wisconsin. 217 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,640 So wherever you go to school, I'll have a job. 218 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,600 I'll save some money. I can start school, like, a year after you. 219 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:19,320 And I don't even have to slaughter animals. 220 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,240 Was that ever an option? 221 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,160 Ah, apparently it's the invisible industry of Point Place, yeah. 222 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,720 I'm actually surprised the streets aren't running red with blood. 223 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,560 Well, Steven, it is obvious you don't want a job. 224 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,320 No. I was just holding out for one that has a cash register... 225 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,080 with a lock that's very, very easy to jimmy. 226 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:44,000 - Oh, God! Excuse me. - Oh, it's okay. I probably deserved it. 227 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,840 - Roy. - Steven? 228 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,800 Hey, man. Long time no see. 229 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:54,800 When my dad left, my mom signed me up for the Big Brother program, and I got Roy. 230 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,720 We had some good times before you left town. 231 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,280 - Yeah, and moved in with a wonderful woman. - Oh. What happened? 232 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,640 She found out I was livin' there. 233 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,400 Roy has some problems with people. 234 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,440 They don't like me. Yeah. You don't like me, right? 235 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,880 Not really. 236 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:19,440 But to be fair, I have very high standards. 237 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:23,000 Yeah? She's really nice, Steven. 238 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,200 Hey, so what are you doing here? 239 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,720 I work here. Hotel kitchen manager. 240 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,600 I was gonna put out word that we were lookin' for a cook... 241 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,560 but then I figured, why bother? 242 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,760 They'll just leave me like everybody else. 243 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,680 So, Roy, seem a little depressed there. 244 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:44,440 Yeah, I'm teetering on the brink. 245 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,680 Maybe I can do something to cheer you up. 246 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,000 Really? 247 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,160 Oh, that'd be great. 248 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,440 [Sobbing] 249 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,880 So I'm on the Golden Gate Bridge... 250 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,840 and everyone's tellin' me to jump. 251 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,360 I was just out for a jog. 252 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,640 Okay, Roy, here's what I'm gonna do for you. 253 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,800 I'm gonna take that job as cook and keep you company... 254 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,720 on two conditions- 255 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,320 I'm not gonna work very hard, and you're gonna have to pay me a lot. 256 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:24,040 But, man, it'll be a bargain considering the money you save on hookers and shrinks. 257 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:30,960 Great. And if it's work-related, I can call you at home. 258 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,560 Now I have a reason to get a phone. 259 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,160 Steven, you're a chef! [Gasps] 260 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,920 If you can learn to make those fancy deviled-egg thingies... 261 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,160 I will lose my frickin' mind! 262 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,680 So, how's the day going? 263 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,840 Well, let's see. I interviewed 15 potential employees- 264 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,280 10 dumb-asses... 265 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,200 four cretins and a mama's boy. 266 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,600 I vote for the mama's boy. I think they're sweet. 267 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,560 Hey, Dad! Guess what. 268 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,440 I got a job at First Midwestern, so Donna and I can stay engaged. 269 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,680 I'll work, she'll study. In a few years, I can pay for my own tuition. 270 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,120 Yea! I win! [Blows Raspberry] 271 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,840 Great news! 272 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,600 I'm gonna be a cop! 273 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,800 [All Booing] 274 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,040 No. No, listen. It's perfect for me. 275 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,280 The uniform will keep me looking hot even when I'm old. 276 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,080 And plus, I love helping people. 277 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,360 No, you love humping people. 278 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,400 Eric, a lot of times humping /s helping. 279 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,840 So, you're really gonna be a cop? 280 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:57,040 Well, he did shoot me, so we know he's good with guns. 281 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,760 And you just know they're gonna partner him up with a dog. 282 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,280 Actually, you know what? It's kind of perfect. 283 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,520 He'll get to run through people's backyards with a stick. 284 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,600 He does that anyway. 285 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,480 The important thing is, is that I'll be performing... 286 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,000 a very valuable community service. 287 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,240 And plus, I'll be sexy forever. 288 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,880 I mean, just think about it. 289 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,200 Nobody move! This is a robbery. 290 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,160 Not in my town, dirtbag. 291 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:35,040 Oh, Officer, not only did you perform a valuable community service... 292 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,600 you'll be sexy forever! 293 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,520 All in a day's work, ma'am. Let's get you into something a little more comfortable. 294 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,200 - But I'm already in a bikini. - I know. 295 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,560 Kelso, you do realize you'll have to help ugly people too. 296 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,520 Nah-uh. I'll just leave that for the fat cops. 297 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,120 - [TV: Sports Crowd Cheer/ng] - Hey. 298 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,440 I just got off the phone with the bank. 299 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,840 I didn't get the job because someone gave me a bad reference. 300 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,800 And then I thought to myself... 301 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,480 "Hmm. I've only had one boss-you!" 302 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,120 I can't believe you blackballed your own son! 303 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,960 As usual, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. 304 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,960 So you're not even man enough to admit it? You know what I think? 305 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,400 You're a bitter, old man who's so miserable in his life... 306 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,280 that you have to make everyone else just as miserable as you are! 307 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,400 - You're pathetic! - Honey. 308 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,840 Your father didn't call the bank manager. I did. 309 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,800 Mom, please stay out of this. 310 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,200 What was that? 311 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,080 - I gave you the bad reference. - Oh. 312 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,640 Then, uh- 313 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,280 [Chuckling] I'm just kidding. 314 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,000 Eric, if you take a bank job and put off school... 315 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:03,000 you'll never go to college, and the bank manager agreed with me. 316 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,040 Plus, I told him you were bad at math. 317 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:10,640 So there's no job money to pay for college... 318 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,480 no money from you guys to go to college. 319 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:20,200 Wow. I guess we're really hoping for that football scholarship, huh? 320 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,160 I have a compromise. 321 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,160 Your father and I will pay for college... 322 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:30,560 if you and Donna will agree to just put off your engagement for one year. 323 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,600 I'm not compromising anything! 324 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,440 He said some hurtful things. 325 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,920 No. I'm sick of being controlled by both of you guys. 326 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,080 You guys can keep your money, okay, 'cause guess what! 327 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,040 I don't want it. 328 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,280 Ma'am! Sir! 329 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,200 We got a call about a domestic disturbance. 330 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,520 Get out of here. 331 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,880 Okay, but if I gotta come back out here, somebody's going downtown. 332 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,680 Well, quit it. I'm just practicing. 333 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,960 A-And this is the pantry. 334 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,920 If you ever get really depressed, it's a good place to go and cry. 335 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,360 Also, it's where we keep the mustard. 336 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,800 All right. Cool. Well, uh, I guess I'll see you on Monday. 337 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,720 - Okay! - [Grunts] 338 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,080 Okay, man. Okay, Roy. 339 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,000 Get off me! 340 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:40,120 Oh, I almost forgot to show you the walk-in freezer. 341 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,160 A little privacy, please!