1
00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:09,460
Why would <i>Sports Illustrated</i> even publish
an issue that's not a swimsuit issue?

2
00:00:10,860 --> 00:00:13,540
You know who should
do a swimsuit issue? <i>Playboy.</i>

3
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:17,580
Why would you put
clothes on a centerfold?

4
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:20,300
Sometimes I get tired
of all the complete nakedness...

5
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:22,580
and I like to be teased a little.

6
00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:26,340
Yeah, there's a lot more going on
up here than you know about.

7
00:00:26,420 --> 00:00:30,260
I think there's some stuff going on in there
that you don't know about.

8
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,780
You guys should have come
to the arboretum with us.

9
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,980
We saw plants and trees
from all over the world.

10
00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:40,220
There was a bush from Morocco.

11
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,140
Smelled like chocolate chip cookies.

12
00:00:42,220 --> 00:00:44,980
Ah, that is the perfect bush.

13
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,220
Thanks for taking me
to the arboretum. It was fun.

14
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,180
Yeah, what a great day.

15
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:57,580
What a <i>horrible</i> day!

16
00:00:57,660 --> 00:01:00,420
I don't mind looking
at some trees, okay?

17
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:04,140
When they put little signs on them,
with little Latin names-

18
00:01:04,180 --> 00:01:06,220
It makes me want to harm myself.

19
00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:09,660
- So the missus took you out for some girl fun, huh?
- (Clicks On)

20
00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:13,580
See, Donna is hot, but she is mean.

21
00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:16,620
My girlfriend Nina?
Just hot.

22
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,980
You know, Fez, you talk a lot about this Nina chick,
but none of us have ever seen her.

23
00:01:20,020 --> 00:01:23,740
Yeah, we're actually starting to suspect
that she is some creepy alter-ego...

24
00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:26,180
you visit late at night
in front of the mirror.

25
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:29,820
Oh, no, I don't do that anymore.

26
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:32,420
But Nina is the real deal.
Kelso saw her at the D.M.V.

27
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,500
Uh, there were a lot of girls there.

28
00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:39,140
She could have been the one with the lazy eye
that does the vision test.

29
00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:44,380
Lazy-eye Lizzie? No way.
She wouldn't even look at me.

30
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:53,780
Nina, my friends don't believe that you're
my girlfriend, even though I Frenched you.

31
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:58,860
Girlfriend? I don't
know if we're there yet.

32
00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:03,540
I mean, I like you and all, it's just that
all the guys at the D.M.V. seem great...

33
00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:07,460
until you find them in your apartment
wearing your hot curlers.

34
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:09,420
Warren.

35
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:14,260
I want to get to know you better,
meet your friends...

36
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:16,420
make sure they're not puppets.

37
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:20,460
Warren.

38
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:24,980
So, if they are not puppets,
then would you be my girlfriend?

39
00:02:25,060 --> 00:02:27,540
Mmm, it would definitely help.

40
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:30,540
- (Chuckles)
- Are these lines open or not?

41
00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:35,140
- Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
- That was very unprofessional.

42
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,620
<i>(Rock Group Singing)</i>

43
00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:04,420
<i>(Ends)</i>

44
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,300
<i>Hello, Wisconsin!</i>

45
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:17,780
So, we're finally gonna meet
the mysterious and possibly fictional Nina!

46
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:20,980
Fictional? Does this hickey
look fictional?

47
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:26,420
Huh, looks too small to be
from the vacuum cleaner, like last time.

48
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:30,300
Wait, let me see.

49
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:33,500
Small, blotchy and uneven.
Ah, this girl's an amateur.

50
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:37,980
Let me see.
Small, blotchy and unpleasant.

51
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:40,180
Yeah, this girl's a Jackie.

52
00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:47,180
Well, Fez, I am thrilled
that you found a girl...

53
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:50,420
'cause I was startin' to worry.
(Chuckling)

54
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:54,540
But you've proven me and the experts
from <i>Reader's Digest</i> wrong!

55
00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:59,660
When I introduce her to everybody,
I just want it to be special.

56
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,300
Oh! Let's have a formal
dinner party tomorrow.

57
00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:06,460
You know, it was at a dinner
party that I first realized...

58
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:09,900
Red Forman was more than
just a boy with great hair.

59
00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:13,060
Sounds good, Miss Kitty.

60
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:16,900
You might be a little past your prime,
but your mind is still sharp.

61
00:04:21,780 --> 00:04:24,460
Oh, actually tomorrow
night's not gonna work...

62
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,420
I thought we might
go see Laser Floyd.

63
00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:29,300
Well, you tell this fellow Floyd
that you have a dinner party.

64
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:32,780
No, Mom, Laser Floyd's not a guy...

65
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:36,100
Laser Floyd is Pink Floyd music-
with lasers!

66
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,540
Lasers, like in <i>Star Wars!</i>

67
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:42,980
Mrs. Forman, we'll be here.

68
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,220
Wait. You'd rather go
to a formal dinner party?

69
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,460
Sure! Sounds great.

70
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:50,300
And, uh, don't forget, Mrs. Forman.
You can count Steven and me in.

71
00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:54,020
Yeah, I've been looking for an excuse
to buy him a shirt with buttons.

72
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:59,340
Since it's a special occasion,
you're all allowed one sip of wine.

73
00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:04,660
Great! It'll be like Communion,
but without the fun of church.

74
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:09,020
So, Steven, you know,
I was thinking of getting you...

75
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:13,020
a pair of beige corduroys
and maybe a blue blazer for the party.

76
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:16,580
Oh, don't forget
the matching scarf and gloves.

77
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:21,420
This way, I'll be nice and toasty
when hell freezes over.

78
00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:28,660
Uh-oh, Jackie. Looks like Steven
doesn't wanna wear his big-boy clothes.

79
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,220
No, I don't wanna go. You should have
asked me before you said I would.

80
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:39,140
Steven! I am your girlfriend.
I speak for you now!

81
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:43,980
Well, then, tell yourself I said to bite me,
'cause I'm not going.

82
00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:48,820
Oh, you are <i>so</i> going!
So just bite yourself!

83
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:54,060
- <i>(Door Slams)</i>
- Man, do you believe that crap?

84
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:57,380
Tell me about it. Donna wants to go
to a dinner party, we go to a dinner party.

85
00:05:57,460 --> 00:06:00,380
If she wants to go to the arboretum,
<i>bang,</i> I'm in a room full of trees.

86
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:05,580
God, I hate trees.

87
00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:07,620
So tall and arrogant.

88
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,740
So why don't you just not go?

89
00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:13,180
- Oh, it's just one day.
- Not for you, man. You're engaged.

90
00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:15,820
It's Latin for "screwed for life."

91
00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:19,620
Oh, my God, you're right.

92
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,580
And I have no choice.
I have to do what she says...

93
00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:23,780
or she won't let me
touch her naughty places.

94
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,300
- Hyde, this is extortion!
- You're tellin' me?

95
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:31,700
I'm bein' shaken down by a 95-pound brunette
with pink toenails.

96
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:38,180
Kitty? I know this change of life
has upset you...

97
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:41,220
but we just bought wine
the other day.

98
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,500
What are you doing,
brushin' your teeth with the stuff?

99
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,940
Red, it's not for me.

100
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:50,060
Well, this one is.

101
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:54,940
We're having a dinner
party tomorrow night.

102
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:59,180
No, can't do it.
<i>Battle of the Network Stars</i> is on!

103
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:05,540
See, once a year, they make
TV stars compete at things they're not good at.

104
00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:09,340
I look forward all season
to watching Ed Asner try to paddle a canoe.

105
00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:14,180
Makes me feel superior.

106
00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:18,220
Well, you shouldn't feel superior,
because you know what I know about Ed Asner?

107
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:22,100
Ed Asner would come to my dinner party,
'cause he knows how to treat a woman.

108
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:25,500
Did you say "dinner party"?
(Chuckles)

109
00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:28,380
See, I thought you-
Oh, screw it, I'll be there.

110
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,260
What's this about a party?

111
00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:37,900
Oh, well, we're having a party
tomorrow night for Fez and Nina.

112
00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:43,500
- I invited all the kids.
- I'm a kid.

113
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:47,340
Well, it's for couples only.
You can come if you bring a date.

114
00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:50,220
Well, it's too late
to find a date. I mean-

115
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,820
Yeah, I'm sweet looking,
but I'm no miracle worker.

116
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:59,580
Well, maybe if you stop jumping
from girl to girl, you wouldn't be alone.

117
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:01,820
You're no Frank Sinatra, you know!

118
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:07,460
You know, you used to be nice,
but you've changed, lady!

119
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,220
Guys, I really want
Nina to like me...

120
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,980
so please, avoid
the following topics:

121
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:26,660
my addiction to candy...

122
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,340
the fact that I have needs...

123
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:34,220
and my use of Alberto
V05 Hot Oil Treatment.

124
00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:40,140
Wait. Fez, what does she care
what you use on your hair?

125
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,180
Oh, I do not use it on my hair.

126
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:50,140
Well, heard about your
secret couples party.

127
00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:52,580
And I'm glad I'm not goin',
'cause I hate parties.

128
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,380
Hey, man, I'm only goin'
'cause Donna's makin' me.

129
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,300
At this rate, the only way
I'll see Laser Floyd is...

130
00:08:57,380 --> 00:09:00,060
if they project it on a leaf
canopy at the arboretum.

131
00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:03,860
So, don't go to the party.
Act tough, Forman.

132
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:06,580
- I'm not tough.
- That's why I said "act."

133
00:09:08,260 --> 00:09:10,100
No one's making me go,
that's for sure.

134
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:15,380
Oh, that is it, Steven. As your girlfriend,
I am ordering you to go to this party.

135
00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:20,820
And as your boyfriend, I'm ordering you to
take your bossy mouth and flap it elsewhere.

136
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:23,660
If you flap it at me,
I'll go with you.

137
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:30,100
You hear that, Steven?
Michael wants to go to the party with me.

138
00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:33,500
- I'm not going to the party.
- Fine.

139
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:35,580
Michael, I would love
to go to the party with you.

140
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,900
Kick-ass!
I love parties!

141
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:48,260
Okay, now.
These are called...

142
00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:51,540
after-dinner conversation cards.

143
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,820
Let's try one!
(Laughs)

144
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,740
"If you were a bird,
where would you fly?" Donna?

145
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:03,060
Um, south?

146
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:08,140
I don't know, I'm nervous.
I feel like I'm on <i>Jeopardy.</i>

147
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:12,860
If I were a bird,
I'd fly to Laser Floyd.

148
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:16,940
I'd fly to Tahiti,
'cause the girls there don't wear tops!

149
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,900
Wait, but then I'd want
to change back to myself...

150
00:10:20,980 --> 00:10:23,420
because no lady wants
to make it with a bird.

151
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,460
Wait, can I be a monkey?

152
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:35,500
Okay. Nina!

153
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:39,340
I'd fly to my favorite place,
the D.M.V.!

154
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:44,620
I was just going to say that!

155
00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:49,460
Red, we haven't
heard a peep out of you.

156
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,580
If I was a bird,
I'd fly into a ceiling fan.

157
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:04,020
(Gasps) Steven, you came,
just like I thought you would.

158
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:06,380
- You buckled!
- No, I got hungry.

159
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,820
You're in my seat.

160
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:14,300
Damn, Hyde, now everyone
knows it's a clip-on!

161
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:22,140
Since you two work at the D.M.V....

162
00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:25,100
how about you make this
parking ticket disappear?

163
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:29,220
We can't fix this.
You parked in a fire lane.

164
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,020
Oh, Nina, please.
(Laughing)

165
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:35,980
We're his guests.
I will take care of it, little buddy.

166
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:39,940
- No, Fez, he broke the law.
- Broke the law?

167
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:43,540
- I was just getting some milk.
- What if there was a fire?

168
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:47,180
Then I'd pour my milk on it.

169
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:54,540
Okay. Okay, let's try another card.

170
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:59,020
Um, "If you could
be anyone's shoe...

171
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,540
whose shoe would you be?"

172
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:05,620
I wouldn't want to be Red's shoe,
'cause I think it's about to go in someone's ass.

173
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,980
That's it! I'm watching
<i>Battle of the Network Stars.</i>

174
00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:15,540
I'm with you.
Have fun with Mr. Clip-on.

175
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:17,460
Yeah, you know what?
Me too.

176
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:21,100
- You're leaving?
- There are lasers going off right now!

177
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:25,900
Perfectly synchronized lasers! And all of a sudden,
you're, like- like, Lady Dinner Rolls...

178
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:28,340
shaking me down
with her naughty places!

179
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,180
I'm going too.
Apparently...

180
00:12:31,220 --> 00:12:33,260
we can eat a man's food,
but we cannot fix his ticket!

181
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:38,540
Well, what happened
to my dinner party?

182
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,820
I'm sorry, Mrs. Forman, but Marilu Henner
only gets on the trampoline once a year...

183
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,060
and I'm not gonna miss it.

184
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:53,060
Where the hell does Eric get off
acting like I make him do stuff?

185
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:56,020
It not like I wanted us to come
to this dinner party either!

186
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,300
I only did because...

187
00:12:58,380 --> 00:13:00,340
well, you're all menopause-y
now, and you scare me!

188
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:02,740
Right, you came for me.

189
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:05,740
Just like I slaved over
a pot roast for all of you.

190
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,740
You want a definition of Hell?

191
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:11,540
Try opening a 400-degree oven
while you're having a hot flash.

192
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:14,660
We're all here for someone else.

193
00:13:14,740 --> 00:13:17,140
And you know why?
It's right there in front of us, girls.

194
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:20,700
- Women are giving.
- I'm not giving!

195
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:23,540
I'm here for me.

196
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:25,740
Steven is the one who should
think about others.

197
00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:28,180
- I mean, how could he just ditch me?
- Well, Jackie...

198
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:30,460
it might have to do with
trying to boss him around...

199
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:34,100
- then showing up with Kelso.
- She's right.

200
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,020
I know she's right.

201
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,420
But you're not a part of the group,
and I don't like you, so zip it!

202
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,540
(Cheering On TV)

203
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:47,500
Man, look at you guys, all forced to hide
in the basement because of your women.

204
00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:49,180
<i>(Eric)</i>
<i>Hey.</i>

205
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:52,660
I'm not hiding from anyone.
I finally set Donna straight.

206
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:56,140
Alls you did was babble about
lasers and naughty places.

207
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:59,700
Man, I thought
you were having a stroke.

208
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:03,540
Whatever, man. You caved
just likeJackie wanted.

209
00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:05,580
I didn't cave.
Just wanted to make sure...

210
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:08,100
"Don Juan el Tardo" here
kept his hands off her.

211
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,620
Then how do you explain the necktie?

212
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,900
I just came from a business meeting.

213
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:20,900
At least he's putting up a fight.
You just gave up. Like France.

214
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:28,780
Oh, get off his back, little buddy.
You were at the party too.

215
00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:33,820
Hey, I fought the good
fight for 30 years.

216
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:37,900
Now I just agree with what Kitty
wants to do, so I can go to sleep.

217
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,980
And I'm not your "little buddy."

218
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:49,580
Yeah, you're all doomed.
That's funny.

219
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:53,860
No, we're not all doomed.
One man here still has a chance.

220
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,860
One man can take
a stand for all of us.

221
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:58,860
And that man's name is-

222
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:02,700
Well, we can't pronounce his
real name, so we call him Fez!

223
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:10,580
I don't want to take a stand, I just want Nina
to be my girlfriend and give me nooky!

224
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:13,100
Fez, come on.
Give it a try!

225
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,820
It'll be like <i>Battle of the Network Stars.</i>
Think about it.

226
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:22,460
Welcome back to
the <i>Battle of the Gender Stars...</i>

227
00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:26,980
- where it's the gals with 50 points!
- (Cheering)

228
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:30,380
And the guys with zero.

229
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,180
But the guys still have a chance...

230
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:38,500
'cause the final event is
conveniently worth 51 points.

231
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:41,740
You guys are pathetic!

232
00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:45,300
Wow, that's some
tough talk, Jamie Farr.

233
00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:49,740
I'm switching to the gals' team. I can do that,
because I wear a dress on <i>M.A.S.H.</i>

234
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:54,620
Okay, now let's meet
our contestants.

235
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:58,980
- Representing the gals: the lovely Nina!
- <i>(Women Cheering)</i>

236
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:02,300
- And representing the guys: the lovely Fez!
- <i>(Eric) Yes.</i>

237
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,260
Fighters, go!
(Blows Whistle)

238
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,300
(Red)
Make that dame eat some mud!

239
00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:18,100
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
We're going antiquing all weekend!

240
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,780
Oh, like hell we are.

241
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,620
(Cheering)

242
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,340
I hate antiquing.
Let's do this thing!

243
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:35,660
That's right.
Gentlemen, let's go get our cojones back!

244
00:16:37,940 --> 00:16:40,020
I gotta see this.

245
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:43,580
- Hey, man, you coming?
- Nah, I still have my cojones.

246
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,340
My lonely, lonely cojones.

247
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:56,780
Oh, look who it is. You bake a brownie,
and the bastards come running.

248
00:16:56,820 --> 00:17:00,580
I'm afraid your brownies are powerless now.
Fez has something to say. Fez.

249
00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:02,500
- Can I have a brownie?
- Fez!

250
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:06,340
Oh. Right, right, right, right.

251
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:10,380
Nina, I insist you take care of Red's ticket,
because I am in charge.

252
00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,980
- Yeah, it's not gonna happen.
- Okay. (Chuckles)

253
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:18,820
- Man, what the hell?
- I have needs.

254
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,620
Nina, if I do everything you want,
would you be my girlfriend?

255
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:25,980
Can't say no to that!
(Chuckles)

256
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:31,380
I cannot believe it!
I have a girlfriend!

257
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,100
So when do we do it?

258
00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:43,140
- I am not speaking to you.
- <i>(Sets Down Dinnerware)</i>

259
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:47,420
Well, at least it will be
quiet enough to go to sleep.

260
00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:55,780
Okay, Donna, when we came up here,
Fez was supposed to- Donna?

261
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:00,980
Oh, crap.

262
00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:03,380
Hey, Steven, look.

263
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:06,100
Remember how you said
that I was bossy?

264
00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:08,220
Well, I think you were right.

265
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:11,700
So, from now on, if I want you
to do something, I'll ask first.

266
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:14,380
- Well, I just-
- Shh, I'm talking!

267
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:19,220
(Gasps)
I am so sorry. There I go again.

268
00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:23,380
Okay, here's
what I wanted to say:

269
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:27,060
Would you like to go with me
to the Girl Scout Alumni Pancake Breakfast?

270
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:35,020
Jackie, I'd rather put on a dress and slow dance
with Kelso on <i>Soul Train.</i>

271
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,620
But since you asked nicely, I'll go.

272
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,660
Yea! Oh, uh, Steven, don't
forget to bring a spatula...

273
00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:45,620
because I signed you up
as a flipper.

274
00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:52,220
Hey, the flipper better be the guy
who judges the Alumni Bikini Contest!

275
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:56,060
It's not.

276
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,420
- Donna-
- Wait, let me guess.

277
00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:00,940
- <i>(Door Closes)</i>
- Laser Floyd, Laser Floyd...

278
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:03,700
arboretum, dinner roll, Laser Floyd.

279
00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:06,620
- Okay, listen.
- No, you listen.

280
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,540
I don't know
what's wrong with you-

281
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:12,620
if it's genetic, or if you took a pill
from your mother's cabinet-

282
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:16,700
But I'm through doing stuff for you,
because you don't appreciate it.

283
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:20,780
Whoa, whoa, wait.
You're doing stuff for <i>me?</i>

284
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,140
Yeah!

285
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:25,460
I went to that dinner party
to make your mother happy...

286
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,660
and I went to the arboretum
because you wanted to.

287
00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:35,180
I wanted to? All I said was,
"Look, the arboretum."

288
00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:40,140
W- It sounded like you wanted to go.
I hate trees!

289
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:44,180
I mean, "Ooh, show me trees!"
Does that sound like me?

290
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:51,740
- No. Look, I'm sorry.
- (Sighs)

291
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:55,620
I just- I thought you were gonna
make me do girlie crap...

292
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,780
for the rest of my life.

293
00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:01,180
Eric, come on. You know me
way better than that.

294
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:05,100
Yeah, you're right.

295
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:09,500
So, would you like to go see
Laser Floyd next weekend?

296
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:12,700
Oh, we can't. I signed us up for this class:
"Quilting for Couples."

297
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:17,380
(Laughing)

298
00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:21,660
- (Chuckling) I'm kidding!
- (Gasps)

299
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:23,660
It's just for men.

300
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,360
And the canoeing champion
for this year's...

301
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,360
<i>Battle of the Network Stars</i>
is... Red Forman!

302
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,560
- My team!
- Thanks, Jamie Farr.

303
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,280
And I'd like to give
a special thanks to Ed Asner.

304
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,680
Ed, thanks for paddling
your canoe like a girl.

305
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,160
Where's your spunk now,
you big pansy? (Laughing)