1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
Welcome to hell!

2
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:06,880
Hyde. New releases just
arrived at the store.

3
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,840
Oh! Is that Abba?

4
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:10,400
Huh

5
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,080
Oh cool! I love
the Talking Heads.

6
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:20,160
They have a girl in the band and she’s like a real
musician who doesn’t have to use her sex-appeal.

7
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,280
Although it wouldn’t kill
her to put on some lipstick.

8
00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,200
Maybe pop a few zits…I mean
you’re on stage for God’s sake.

9
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,720
My band has a girl in it too. We
totally respect her as a musician.

10
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,280
A musician with
really big boobs.

11
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,040
Hey. You know what they
should have? An all girl band.

12
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,440
Except in stead of playing instruments,
they just dance around and make out.

13
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,200
You know you and Karan
could totally hit it off.

14
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,240
My band and I are heading up to my parents
cabin this weekend. If you wanna come?

15
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,200
Oh well

16
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,640
me to shave a G into his
back for the Packers’ game.

17
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:55,640
Soooo….

18
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,240
YES, I would love to come.

19
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,160
Ohhh Barry Manilow.

20
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,000
Alright Randy, here is
what I want you to do.

21
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,880
Take this record,
go back to the store.

22
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,440
Anybody looks like a Manilow-fan,
chuck it at their head.

23
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,720
Even better. I’ll throw
it at their crotch.

24
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,640
We don’t want those
people reproducing.

25
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,600
Sooo…Donna.

26
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,680
Sounds good. You
and Randy in a cabin.

27
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,000
Breathing in the
fresh mountain air.

28
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,240
Having sex.

29
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,880
What are you talking about?

30
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,400
Well you see, when a boy likes a
girl, the boy gets the girl drunk…

31
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,080
Hyde.

32
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,360
That’s not gonna happen.

33
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,120
He’s not into me like that and he
knows I’m getting over a break-up.

34
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,680
Come on man. Don’t you
know how guys think?

35
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:39,640
Not really.

36
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,240
The only guy I have ever been
with is Eric, and as far as I know,

37
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:46,800
a typical guys thoughts are: Who would
win in a fight? Bigfoot or Chewbacca?

38
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:50,240
All right.

39
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,120
Here is what a typical
guy thinks about.

40
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,480
Sex, beer and pinball.

41
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:56,800
Now,

42
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,880
if a guy can have sex while
drinking beer on a pinball machine…

43
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,360
well that’s the beautiful
story of how I met my wife.

44
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,000
Well…if it isn’t Miss Mooch,
my unemployed roommate.

45
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,360
What would you like to mooch
today? My cheese puffs?

46
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,960
My yoo-hoo?

47
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,680
My Oil of Olaz?

48
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,400
Fez, I want to find work
but it’s really hard.

49
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,680
I spend all morning going
to every store in the mall.

50
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,400
And when I find the right
outfit, I’m gonna look for a job.

51
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,240
Fez! I look fantastic!

52
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,360
You know, I always give
credit where credit is due. So,

53
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:44,120
thank you God for my
fantastic bone-structure!

54
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:48,600
So Christine, what’s on the agenda
for my favorite local talk show host?

55
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,760
I mean besides from
looking Fez-tastic.

56
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,920
Well today I’m
off to the zoo.

57
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,760
It seems a baby
elephant is being born.

58
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,120
And I wanna be the
first thing it sees,

59
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,880
so it knows there is
beauty in this ugly world.

60
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,160
Well for my money, nothing
beats the time when you

61
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,920
ran along with cops and stopped
the liquor store hold-up.

62
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:15,680
Well, I got lucky then. The day before
the show I learned to do the Flamenco.

63
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,200
And as it turns out,
a high dance kick

64
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,880
doubles beautifully for a
knock-out blow to the face.

65
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,760
Ciao darling!

66
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,600
I love it when she says ciao. It's like
she made up a whole new way to say goodbye.

67
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,960
Was that Christine St.
George?! She my idol!

68
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,600
THAT's who I should
be working for!

69
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,040
OH! We could co-anchor
What's Up Wisconsin together!

70
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,080
Oh, I could
just picture it!

71
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:53,080
- I'm Christine St. George.
- And I'm Jackie St. Jackie!

72
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,920
And it's time to ask...

73
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,240
- What's up Wisconsin?
- What's up Wisconsin?

74
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,680
Coming up today: war,
famine, disease...

75
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,240
But first, our top story.

76
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,400
Jackie St. Jackie
is SPECTACULAR!

77
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,400
And in sports
today: I'm GORGEOUS!

78
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,840
Oh, this is just in.

79
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:25,080
Jackie St. Jackie is
the greatest girl ever!

80
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,640
- I am!
- I know!

81
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,120
Jackie St. Jackie?
I got breaking news.

82
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,320
You're freaking nuts!

83
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:20,420
Oh Jackie, you're watching Christine
St. George. I just love her!

84
00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:24,900
The other day she had
a tiger cub on her show

85
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,980
it was just the sweetest
thing you ever saw!

86
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,340
Right up until it
mauled the weather man.

87
00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,020
Yah, but he
probably deserved it.

88
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,700
He looks like he
smells like ham.

89
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:38,460
Oh but you what Christine
handled it perfectly.

90
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:41,460
She distracted the tiger with
the food critic’s lamb chop

91
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:44,740
and then she made a tourniquet
out of her microphone cord.

92
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,660
I know, she's amazing!

93
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,020
Oh, oh she's back!

94
00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:52,820
That sure is one
big pumpkin Tim!

95
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:58,180
Coming up, a high school
marching band that collectively

96
00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:01,420
has lost more
then 400 pounds!

97
00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:03,140
You know what?

98
00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:05,700
I'm gonna write Christine a
letter and ask her for a job.

99
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:09,020
Oh no no no no, you have got
to go talk to her in person.

100
00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:13,700
Trust me, there is nothing celebrities like
more then people showing up in their offices.

101
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:20,420
Steven,

102
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:26,940
you have finally reached that point in your
life where you're no longer a dumb-ass-kid.

103
00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,300
You're a
dumb-ass-man.

104
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:35,300
Wow. Those dumb-ass-teen
years just flew by.

105
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:38,020
And now that you're married,

106
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:42,260
I'm gonna take you through a rite
of passage. To the Viking Lodge

107
00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:44,820
Gosh Red. I don't
know what to say.

108
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:47,740
I guess the first thing
that comes to mind is uh...

109
00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:48,780
no.

110
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:54,420
I stripped at the Viking Lodge
in Vegas for a guys 85th birthday.

111
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:55,780
He had a heart attack.

112
00:06:57,060 --> 00:07:00,340
But then the paramedics showed up
and they were really good tippers.

113
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,100
Come on Steven!

114
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:07,180
You need a place where you can hang out
and have a beer with other married men.

115
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,340
BOY does that sound boring.

116
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:13,660
Hanging out in a dingy room
drinking beer and doing nothing.

117
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:17,660
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll be in the basement...

118
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,340
All right Red.
I guess I'll go.

119
00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:24,060
You're not gonna make me wear one
of those silly Viking heads are you?

120
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,980
Course not, don't
be ridiculous.

121
00:07:26,220 --> 00:07:28,260
Ours have horns
and chin straps.

122
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,820
And your name stitched
in yarn. It's very classy.

123
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:43,140
Wow. Nice cabin.

124
00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:47,980
It has a cozy, mid-century
dead carcass feel to it.

125
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:51,660
Yeah. I like to come up here when
I really feel like roughing it.

126
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:55,340
So, you hook up the VCR,
I’ll go microwave some nachos

127
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:58,540
Heyyy Donna.

128
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,540
Did you have sex
with Randy yet?

129
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,020
Would you shut up?!

130
00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:04,980
That is NOT what
this weekend is about.

131
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:05,660
Oh.

132
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,460
Yeah. You’re right.

133
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,940
A guy invites a hot girl to a
private cabin deep in the woods.

134
00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:12,340
It can only mean one thing.

135
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:13,980
He wants you to
meet his band!

136
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:14,580
Okay.

137
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:17,060
Maybe it’s a little weird
that they’re not here.

138
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,180
A little weird?

139
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,940
That’s like saying it’s a little crazy
that you’re talking to a floating head.

140
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,860
We are all alone.

141
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,700
Did bring wine.

142
00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:31,220
Wait a minute! Maybe you’re right
! Maybe he wants to get it on!

143
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,340
Did somebody
say “get it on”?

144
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,460
Fez will you
get out of here?

145
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,900
Yeah Fez, beat it!

146
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:40,740
Why you…

147
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:44,580
Son of a bitch!

148
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,860
Hiiii, uh, I’m here to
see Christine St. George.

149
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,260
Do you have an appointment?

150
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,820
No, but I am her biggest fan and
I would love to be her co-anchor.

151
00:08:57,860 --> 00:09:00,740
Okay, have a seat and a
psychiatrist will be right with you.

152
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:05,820
Oh please Miss, couldn’t you
just let us in for two minutes?

153
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,140
I got a better idea.

154
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,300
How about if I let
you in for no minutes?

155
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:12,980
Please? Please could you let us in?
I know I have what it takes to be on TV

156
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:15,500
and I just need to demonstrate
my talents to Christine.

157
00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:17,260
Oh and I just
want an autograph.

158
00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:19,460
Or a souvenir.

159
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:23,540
She made cheesecake on
yesterday’s show, is that around?

160
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,180
You really want
to get in huh?

161
00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:28,500
Okay, I’m thinking of a
number between one and ten.

162
00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:29,900
- Six.
- You got it!

163
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:31,820
Ohhh So does that mean
that we can go in?!

164
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:34,780
No. That’s the number of cops I’m
gonna call if you don’t beat it.

165
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:38,020
But... I’m supposed
to be her co-anchor!

166
00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:40,260
And I’m supposed to
be Brooke Shields.

167
00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:42,700
Ain’t life a bitch?

168
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,680
So Steven, this is the Viking
Lodge. What do you think?

169
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,960
I can see why you got that
CPR poster in the hallway.

170
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:02,360
Red!

171
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,760
It’s great to see you
! Who’s the new guy?

172
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,600
Murph, Smitty, this
is my friend Steven.

173
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,240
Hey

174
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,480
Steven just got married.

175
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,160
My condolences.

176
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:19,400
Listen. I’ve been married for forty
years and I’m half the man I used to be.

177
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,680
But it even out.

178
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,160
My wife is twice the
woman she used to be.

179
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,880
He’s saying she’s fat.

180
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:28,680
Biiiiig woman.

181
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,760
You know, pretty soon your wife will be
nagging at you about doing one chore or another.

182
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,560
You know uh taking out the
garbage, mowing the lawn.

183
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,680
Making love to her.

184
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,240
Wait till she starts finishing
your sentences for you.

185
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,320
Or in my case, my pieces.

186
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,640
You know I used to think it was cute
when my wife finished my sentences.

187
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,960
You know what I want
her to finish now?

188
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,160
Living!

189
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:01,880
See,

190
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,280
that’s the thing
about marriage.

191
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,760
No-one tells you
about the three rings.

192
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,520
There’s the engagement
ring, the wedding ring,

193
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,800
and the suffer-ring.

194
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,120
He’s saying she’s annoying.

195
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,360
Biiiiig pain.

196
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,360
Is this all you guys do? Kinda stand around
the bar and complain about your wives?

197
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,480
Of course not!

198
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,840
So listen. I’m having a
few drinks the other night.

199
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,920
And my old lady says: I suppose you
like yourself better when you’re drunk?

200
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,240
I says: No, I
like you better.

201
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,960
My wife came to me the other day
and said: We don’t talk anymore!

202
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,040
And I said: You
ruined the streak!

203
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,120
You know, I’m learning a
lot from you guys in here.

204
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,800
For instance: bras.

205
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,360
Not just for girls.

206
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,760
the steam is great.

207
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,600
Time to loosen the towel
and release the hounds

208
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,720
Don’t look
down….don’t look down…

209
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,960
Aaaaahhhhh! I
saw the hounds!

210
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,800
Ms. St. George,

211
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,080
you put the beauty
in beautiful, the sass

212
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:23,000
in sassy and what else can
I say? I love a big tip!

213
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,080
And what else can I say?
I love a big kiss-ass!

214
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,440
So, who is gonna be
on the show today?

215
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,120
Oh, Pete Rose.

216
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:39,600
I gotta go warm-up, I don’t want
my slider to hang over the plate.

217
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,240
He really took me
downtown last time,

218
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,040
but not today Pete Rose!

219
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,560
NOT today.

220
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,840
Okay well, let me get your hair
products, I’ll be right back.

221
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:51,880
Okay darling.

222
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:58,280
Hiiiii, this is Jackie St. Jackie,
reporting live from Fresh Hair.

223
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,000
Today’s topic: Ugly people
who are running with scissors,

224
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,360
health hazard or
community service?

225
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,800
Ohhhh why hello
Christine St. George!

226
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,320
Why hello crazy girl
talking into a hairbrush!

227
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,520
Jackie!

228
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,400
Out! Out! Out! Out!

229
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,680
I apologize Miss St. George.

230
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,320
This is Jackie, my roommate.

231
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,840
She wants to be your co-anchor
on What’s Up Wisconsin.

232
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,840
Huh. Well, from what I’ve
seen you do so far Jackie….

233
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,280
I’d say yououou
have what it takes.

234
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:35,480
Really?!

235
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:39,720
Uhhhh no. But you seem like a
dear thing so good luck to you.

236
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:41,600
Adios!

237
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,880
Adios? How does she
even come up with those?

238
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,560
OH, she forgot her hair
products. Christine!

239
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,360
Wait! No no! Fez! Wait, wait,
let me deliver them to the studio.

240
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,720
They’ll have to let me
in and I can talk to her.

241
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,560
I don’t know Jackie.

242
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,760
I’ll give you a free
peek at me in the shower.

243
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,320
This end is up

244
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,760
Well, it took a while, but then the rugged
outdoors man finally got the fire going.

245
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,600
Lucky for us he
was hiking by.

246
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,520
Well Randy. Here
we are. All alone.

247
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,720
In front of a
nice roaring fire.

248
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,160
This has worked
out perfectly.

249
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:33,000
The only thing you forgot
is I’m not a stupid bimbo!

250
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:34,680
What?

251
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:38,720
This whole act may work on your
little groupies, but not me.

252
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,040
So find another groupie to
grope, you gross groupie groper!

253
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,080
Donna, how can
you say that?

254
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,000
I mean literally, that
sounded really hard to say!

255
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,000
This whole night has been one
long set up to get me alone!

256
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,480
Oops, my friends didn’t
make it, what’s next,

257
00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:00,200
oops, I spilled wine on your
blouse, oops, we’re naked!

258
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,120
Oops, made an ice cream
sundae on your boobs!

259
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,640
Uh Donna…meet my band.

260
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,600
The band is here!

261
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,080
Band, meet Donna.

262
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,320
Believe it or
not, she’s sober.

263
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,800
I’ll help you guys
unload the van.

264
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,120
Uhm Randy…

265
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,080
I feel like such a moron, I thought
you were trying to hit on me.

266
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,920
Donna, I wouldn’t do that.

267
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,840
I’m pretty old-fashioned
when it comes to romance.

268
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,160
We’re talking flowers,
candy, love poems.

269
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:38,240
And well,

270
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,800
you haven’t given me
any of those things.

271
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,600
I mean this is gonna be
really hard to say but

272
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,800
I’m sorry that I called you a groupie gro
- a gross groupie…

273
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,320
I can’t even say it.

274
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,720
Wait, you two aren’t
going to do it?!

275
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,800
No. You guys were wrong.

276
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,360
And since I control you,
I can make you do this!

277
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,040
Donna stop it!

278
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,920
Gross man, what did
you eat for lunch?!

279
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,920
Christine St. George?
Hi, uh Jackie Burkhart.

280
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,320
Yes the roving
hairbrush reporter.

281
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,040
How did you get
past reception?

282
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,840
Well I really wanted to talk to you, so I
asked Fez if I could deliver your hair products.

283
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,960
Oh. Oh! Well
I’m glad you did.

284
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,920
Because now that I see you
standing in a television studio,

285
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,240
I think you have a solid
career ahead of you.

286
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,000
As a delivery girl.

287
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,200
Can I validate
your parking?

288
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,520
But Ms. St. George please, if
you would just give me a chance?

289
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,080
Look, I know I have what
it takes to be on TV.

290
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,200
I own three of them!

291
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,960
I also know
everything about you.

292
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,920
What you like, what you
don’t like. What you wear.

293
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,200
Dear, these are skills
I could teach a monkey

294
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:11,640
And as a matter of
fact, I did. Episode 427.

295
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:14,920
Wow.

296
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,680
But here’s the good news.

297
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:17,920
I like you.

298
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,800
You’ve got sssspirit.

299
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,960
No…m…moxie, yes mo… Wait,

300
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,920
no, it’s it’s gumption.

301
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Oh there’s a word for it
and I can’t think what it is…

302
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,720
Oh well. But the
point is, look,

303
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:36,720
you have a job if you
want it, as my assistant.

304
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,880
- Really?!
- Yes.

305
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:38,920
Ohhh I’ll take it!

306
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,880
Ohhh! I have a job in
television! Oh wait, wait,

307
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,320
do I get to say
What’s Up Wisconsin?

308
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,680
You can answer the
phone any way you like!

309
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,240
Oh there is my little
Viking-in-training.

310
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,960
So, how was last night?

311
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,240
Don’t even get me
started on the hounds.

312
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,400
Oh! The hounds…

313
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,760
The hounds are an
old man’s testicles.

314
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,680
I don’t know how I’m gonna tell
Red, but I don’t wanna be a Viking.

315
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,320
All that those guys do is sit around
and complain about their wives.

316
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,760
Oh Steven no. Those men
were just kidding around.

317
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,840
Did Red tell the one
about the three rings?

318
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,160
I came up with that.

319
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,160
Steven!

320
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,400
Bad news about
the Viking Lodge.

321
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,640
They don’t want you back.

322
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,440
All my hopes and
dreams have been...

323
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:37,880
unaffected.

324
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,240
But you know, just out of curiosity,
why would they not want me back?

325
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,040
It was Smitty.

326
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,480
He felt that your
eyes were…lingering…

327
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,240
Oh Jackie.

328
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,200
How is the first
day of work going?

329
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:04,640
Terrific. I can’t believe I’m in
the glamorous world of show business.

330
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,760
I have finally arrived!

331
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,120
Oh, here is your coffee.

332
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:08,960
Thank you

333
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:16,480
Uhm, I asked for half
and half. This is milk.

334
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,240
Right, but I kind of thought
they were the same thing.

335
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,640
No no, half and half is
NOT the same thing as milk.

336
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:26,840
They’re different.

337
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:33,120
Just as listening to me and NOT
listening to me….are different.

338
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:38,080
Like happy and
FURIOUS are different!

339
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,080
Like employed and
FIRED are different,

340
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,960
do we understand
each other? GOOD!

341
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,400
Now get me the coffee I want
or I’ll get a monkey to do it!

342
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,560
Jackie! Psst! Come here!

343
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,480
Don’t take it
so hard sweetie.

344
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,240
Sometimes Christine flies
off the handle like that.

345
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,520
But most of the time
she’s a real sweetheart.

346
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,080
- Oh. Really?
- No.

347
00:20:06,318 --> 00:20:07,873
Welcome to hell!

348
00:20:12,784 --> 00:20:13,379
Hey.

349
00:20:14,603 --> 00:20:16,348
The name of the Show is
"What's up, Wisconsin."

350
00:20:16,502 --> 00:20:19,777
Why is it that every story
you write is about Minneapolis?

351
00:20:20,862 --> 00:20:22,672
All right, you know what?
You're fired.

352
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,473
Go take a slow boat
to China.

353
00:20:25,881 --> 00:20:26,938
Maybe I will.

354
00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:28,676
I love boats.

355
00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:34,189
Hey, Christine?

356
00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:36,744
Hey, what do you think
about my new beret?

357
00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:38,987
This is what
I think about it!