1
00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:04,670
[MUSIC]

2
00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:07,756
OH, MAN! WHERE THE HELL IS ERIC?

3
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,883
I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE
BEFORE JACKIE FINDS ME.

4
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,218
WHAT'D YOU DO NOW?

5
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,469
OH, SHE'S MAD

6
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:15,347
'CAUSE I DIDN'T SAY,
LOVE YOU, AFTER LUNCH.

7
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,725
I SAY IT ALL DAY LONG:
AFTER GYM, "LOVE YOU, JACKIE";

8
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,309
AFTER ALGEBRA, LOVE YOU, JACKIE;

9
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:20,677
AFTER I SAY, LOVE YOU, JACKIE,

10
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,439
I SAY, "LOVE YOU, JACKIE."

11
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,817
IT SICKENS ME!

12
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,569
HEY, MAN, CHECK IT OUT.

13
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:31,572
FOGGY WINDOWS.

14
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:32,906
BUMMER.

15
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,951
SOMEONE MUST HAVE LEFT
THEIR HOT LUNCH IN THE CAR.

16
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,581
NO, YOU IDIOT. SOMEONE'S
IN THERE MAKIN' OUT, MAN.

17
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,334
PATTY!

18
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,920
HYDE! HEY, H-HOW YOU DOIN'?

19
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:50,549
SUPER.

20
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,678
OKAY, WELL, I'LL SEE YA.

21
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,599
HEY, DIDN'T YOU
GO OUT WITH THAT GIRL?

22
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,225
I DON'T THINK SO.

23
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,977
YEAH. THAT'S THE GIRL
THAT DOGGED YOU

24
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,396
ON THAT BLIND DATE.

25
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,148
KELSO, WHO CARES?

26
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,036
HEY, LET'S SEE WHAT
LOSER SHE ENDED UP WITH.

27
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,235
YEAH.

28
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:17,034
HELLO.

29
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,912
BURN!

30
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,749
HEY, MAN, THAT'S A BURN.

31
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,922
♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

32
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,383
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

33
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:37,096
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

34
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,516
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

35
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:44,478
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

36
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:48,232
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

37
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:52,111
♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪

38
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,572
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

39
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,624
ERIC, HONEY, I WAS THINKING
MAYBE TOMORROW NIGHT

40
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:11,296
WE COULD GO SHOPPING,
JUST THE TWO OF US.

41
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,465
WHY?

42
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,913
WELL, BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET YOU

43
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,803
SOME NEW SHOES
AND SOME UNDERWEAR.

44
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,682
KITTY, WE BOUGHT HIM
SHOES LAST YEAR.

45
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,768
YEAH, AND I CAN SHOP FOR
MY OWN UNDERWEAR.

46
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:28,147
OH, NO, YOU CAN NOT.

47
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,399
THE LAST TIME YOU WENT, YOU
BOUGHT THEM TOO SNUG,

48
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:34,778
AND I WANT GRANDCHILDREN.

49
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,447
YEAH, WELL, I HAVE TO...

50
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:40,409
BYE.

51
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:44,705
YOU KNOW, HE USED TO LOVE
GOING SHOPPING WITH ME.

52
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,331
LOOK, KITTY, HE'S 16.

53
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,624
17.

54
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,459
WHATEVER.

55
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,628
THE POINT IS THAT
WHEN A BOY HITS THAT AGE,

56
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,047
THEY DON'T WANNA SPEND
TIME WITH THEIR MOTHER.

57
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,632
AND IF THEY DO...

58
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,051
THEY'RE WEIRD.

59
00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,678
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

60
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,389
WELL IT IS A BIG DEAL
TO ME, RED FORMAN.

61
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,309
IT IS A BIG DEAL!

62
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,773
OKAY.

63
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,317
WELL, I JUST...

64
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,818
I JUST WISH SOMETIMES,

65
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,362
HE... HE... HE WOULD WANT
TO SPEND TIME WITH ME.

66
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,906
WELL, FORCE HIM!

67
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:20,866
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HE WANTS.

68
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,202
AS LONG AS WE'RE
PAYING HIS WAY...

69
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,038
WE OWN HIM.

70
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,875
FEZ HAS A GIRLFRIEND?

71
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,460
OUR LITTLE FEZ?

72
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,296
YOU'RE KIDDING?

73
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,632
I MEAN, GOOD!

74
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,842
GOD, HE WAS SO IN LOVE WITH ME,

75
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,594
IT WAS GETTING EMBARRASSING.

76
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,305
RIGHT.

77
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,558
SO... ANYWAYS, YOU GUYS,
HOW DO YOU KNOW

78
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:50,395
WHEN YOU NEED NEW UNDERWEAR?

79
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,316
UH, HMM. IF YOU'RE ASKING,
YOU NEED NEW UNDERWEAR.

80
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,153
OH, GOOD. PEOPLE ARE HERE.

81
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:02,199
I WANT YOU TO MEET
MY GIRLFRIEND PATTY.

82
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,868
HEY, YOU GUYS.

83
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,328
THIS IS ERIC.
ERIC, THIS IS MY...

84
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,872
GIRLFRIEND.

85
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,249
THIS IS DONNA.

86
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,708
DONNA, THIS IS MY...

87
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,794
GIRLFRIEND.

88
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,295
SO YOU GUYS ARE JUST FRIENDS?

89
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,755
NO, DONNA.

90
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,382
FEZ, I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING.

91
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,133
SO, HOW'S IT GOIN', PATTY?

92
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,385
GOOD.

93
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:22,636
I HAVE TO BE HONEST
WITH YOU, PEOPLE,

94
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,180
PATTY AND I WERE
JUST OUTSIDE MAKING OUT...

95
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,058
BECAUSE PATTY'S MY GIRLFRIEND.

96
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,311
HI, I'M JACKIE.

97
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,146
I'M SURE FEZ HAS TOLD
YOU ALL ABOUT ME.

98
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,774
UM, NO. NO, YOUR
NAME NEVER CAME UP.

99
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,526
WHAT?

100
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,863
WELL... WHATEVER.

101
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,449
OKAY, ISN'T THIS PLEASANT?

102
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,994
UM, PATTY, HAVE A SEAT.

103
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,708
FEZ, SHE'S LOVELY.
I'M IMPRESSED.

104
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,085
UM, JACKIE, I'M A LITTLE
BUSY RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

105
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,713
THANK YOU.

106
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,845
SO, HYDE, WHAT'S WITH
FEZ AND THAT GIRL?

107
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,596
DID YOU REALLY GO OUT WITH HER?

108
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,140
YEAH, NO BIGGIE.

109
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,643
SHE SUCKED, ANYWAY.
HE CAN HAVE HER.

110
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,145
SO FEZ HAS A GIRLFRIEND?

111
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,688
STILL, I MEAN,
WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

112
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,523
FEZ SNAGGIN' A GIRL
AWAY FROM YOU?

113
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,443
I... NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SEE THE DAY.

114
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,069
SO WHAT'S SHE LIKE?

115
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,031
IT'S JUST SO TWILIGHT ZONE,
I MEAN, TO SEE FEZ...

116
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:31,163
ERIC! YOUR MOTHER ASKED YOU A
QUESTION ABOUT THE FOREIGN KID.

117
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,878
WHAT? OH.

118
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,713
WHAT? NO. NEVER MIND.

119
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,048
OKAY, THAT'S IT.

120
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:44,926
ERIC, YOU'RE GONNA SPEND
SOME TIME WITH YOUR MOTHER.

121
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,971
WHAT'D I DO?

122
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,265
RED, DON'T MAKE IT
SOUND LIKE A PUNISHMENT.

123
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,475
WELL, IT IS.

124
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,560
RED!

125
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,604
YOU CAN LOOK
AT IT ANY WAY YOU WANT,

126
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,190
BUT IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, DAMN IT.

127
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,108
WAIT... WAIT, IS THIS...

128
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,611
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANNA
GO SHOPPING WITH MOM?

129
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,864
YOU DON'T WANNA GO
SHOPPING WITH YOUR MOM?

130
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,326
BOY, I TELL YA, IF I HAD A MOM,

131
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,870
I WOULD GO SHOPPING
WITH HER EVERY SINGLE DAY,

132
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,622
BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES YOU...

133
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,583
LIKE YOUR MOM.

134
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,461
THAT'S TRUE.

135
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,840
ERIC, HONEY, WE DON'T
HAVE TO GO SHOPPING.

136
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,175
WE COULD GO SEE A MOVIE.

137
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,677
IT'LL BE LIKE A LITTLE DATE.

138
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,262
NO, NO, NO, NO.
SHOPPING'S GREAT.

139
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,890
YOU KNOW, I, UM, I NEED
NEW UNDERWEAR, SO...

140
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,934
I THINK A DATE IS A GREAT IDEA.

141
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,228
HEY, YOU GUYS SHOULD
GO SEE ANNIE HALL.

142
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,146
I THINK YOU'D JUST
LOVE IT, MRS. FORMAN.

143
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,940
SEE? STEVEN'S HELPING OUT.

144
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,109
THANK YOU, STEVEN.

145
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,402
NOW, ANNIE HALL.

146
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:44,820
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT MOVIE.

147
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,547
OH, ERIC'S JUST
DYIN' TO SEE THAT MOVIE.

148
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,449
BUT I DON'T... JUST DYIN'.

149
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,416
UM, I GUESS FEZ REALLY GOT ME

150
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,419
WITH ALL OF THE POEMS
THAT HE LEFT IN MY LOCKER.

151
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,046
OH, THAT IS SO ROMANTIC.

152
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,923
WELL, DOESN'T KELSO
WRITE YOU POEMS?

153
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,509
NO. NO, BUT HE'S NOT FOREIGN.

154
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,429
HEY, CAN WE TALK ABOUT
SOMETHING INTERESTING?

155
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,807
LIKE... DONNY OSMOND?

156
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,602
HEY, YOU GUYS,

157
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,271
THE EAGLES ARE ON DON KIRSHNER'S

158
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,939
ROCK CONCERT TONIGHT.

159
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,427
OH, MAN, I'M GONNA
MISS THE EAGLES

160
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,360
BECAUSE I GOTTA... I GOTTA...

161
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,700
I'M BUSY.

162
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,952
DO WE HAVE A DATE TONIGHT?

163
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,204
NO. I WISH.

164
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:40,250
I'M GOIN' TO A MOVIE.

165
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:43,086
WITH MY MOM.

166
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:46,673
HE'S GOT A SPECIAL NIGHT
OUT WITH MOMMY.

167
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:50,135
HEY, MAYBE YOU'LL GET LUCKY.

168
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:58,643
AND YOUR MOM'LL
PAY FOR THE MOVIE!

169
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,522
GOD, YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK.

170
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,733
PATTY, YOU KNOW,
WE SHOULD REALLY

171
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,276
GO TO THE MALL TOGETHER
SO I CAN INTRODUCE YOU...

172
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,819
ARE YOU READY, DARLING?

173
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,696
EXCUSE ME, FEZ. I WAS TALKING.

174
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,449
OH, I KNOW, JACKIE.
YOU ARE ALWAYS TALKING.

175
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,786
OH! BURN!

176
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,502
SORRY, I JUST APPRECIATE
A GOOD BURN.

177
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,129
SO, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOIN'?

178
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,048
UM, WE ARE GOING
TO THE RED LOBSTER

179
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:31,134
FOR A ROMANTIC DINNER
OF RED LOBSTER.

180
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,970
I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

181
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,682
OKAY, I DON'T LIKE HER.

182
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,730
AND I DON'T SEE WHY WE
HAVE TO BE SO NICE TO HER

183
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,312
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DATING
SOMEONE IN OUR GROUP.

184
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,357
BITES THE BIG ONE, DOESN'T IT?

185
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,778
WELL, I GOTTA GO TO WORK.

186
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,781
GOD, AM I RIGHT, DONNA?
DON'T YOU HATE HER?

187
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,784
NOT REALLY, JACKIE.
I KINDA LIKE HER.

188
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,331
HEY, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

189
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,876
THAT'S FOR NOT WRITING
ME POEMS, MICHAEL!

190
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,757
UH, LOVE YOU, JACKIE.

191
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,348
LEO, DID YOU TAKE
YOUR TURN YET, MAN?

192
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,016
NO, MAN.

193
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:24,729
I... I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN
COLLEGE OR A CAREER.

194
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,856
WELL, WE CAN'T START
UNTIL YOU DECIDE.

195
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,025
SO CHOOSE, MAN,
OR I'LL START WORKIN'.

196
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:32,112
HEY, DON'T RUSH ME, MAN.

197
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:36,199
THIS DECISION'S GONNA
AFFECT THE REST OF MY LIFE.

198
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:40,495
GO TO COLLEGE.

199
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,913
OKAY.

200
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,206
HEY, BUT...

201
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:46,293
WHAT IF THOSE FRAT GUYS
MAKE FUN OF MY HAIR?

202
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:50,755
AND BEAT ME UP LIKE... LIKE
FASCISTS AND STUFF?

203
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,049
WELL, THEN JUST START A CAREER.

204
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:57,512
I CAN'T LET THOSE FRAT GUYS
GET AWAY WITH IT, MAN.

205
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,348
LEO, MAN, IT'S JUST A GAME!

206
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:04,311
YEAH. LIFE IS HARD.

207
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,073
WELL, NOW, SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW

208
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,867
THAT YOU LIKED GREEN PEPPERS.

209
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,578
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?

210
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:25,457
AUGUST 5, 1972.

211
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,417
I MEAN...

212
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,753
I MEAN,
DO YOU LIKE GREEN PEPPERS?

213
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,296
WHY, YES I DO.

214
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,216
VERY MUCH.

215
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,551
SO HOW'S DONNA?

216
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,345
WHAT? WE HAVEN'T
DONE ANYTHING YET. WHAT?

217
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,180
RELAX.

218
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:44,184
I AM NOT HERE TO GRILL YOU
ABOUT YOUR LIFE, ERIC.

219
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,849
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOUNG ADULTS
DO HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY.

220
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,730
MOM!

221
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,358
PLEASE.

222
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,453
HONEY, YOU MAY NOT
REALIZE IT RIGHT NOW,

223
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,830
BUT I AM ACTUALLY
DOING YOU A GIANT FAVOR

224
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,958
BY MAKING YOU
SPEND TIME WITH ME.

225
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:11,628
WELL, THANK YOU.

226
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,546
NO, NO, NO. I MEAN IT.

227
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,131
BOYS WHO REJECT THEIR MOTHERS

228
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:16,966
GROW UP TO HAVE HUGE PROBLEMS.

229
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,594
YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF.

230
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,262
AND EVERY RELATIONSHIP
YOU HAVE WITH A WOMAN

231
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,972
WILL JUST BE A MESS.

232
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,100
SO, IF YOU DON'T
SPEND TIME WITH ME NOW,

233
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:28,937
YOU MAY NEVER HAVE SEX.

234
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,898
[LAUGHING]

235
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,276
I'M TEASING!

236
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:39,072
A LITTLE.

237
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,700
AHA. HEY...

238
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:45,370
LOOK HOW FAR FLORENCE
IS FROM... VENICE.

239
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,580
ERIC...

240
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,332
HONEY, I JUST...

241
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,751
I JUST WANTED TO SPEND A
LITTLE TIME ALONE WITH YOU

242
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:55,380
OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE.
THAT'S ALL.

243
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,590
MOM, IT'S FINE.

244
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:01,428
AND, IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS GREAT.

245
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:08,268
HEY, FORMAN'S OUT ON
A DATE WITH HIS MOM!

246
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:14,023
FORMAN AND HIS MOM!

247
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,488
[THINKING] MY GOODNESS,
THAT WOODY ALLEN IS NEUROTIC.

248
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,736
WELL, IF I LIVED IN NEW YORK,
I'D BE IN THERAPY, TOO.

249
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,660
THE STREETS ARE FILTHY.

250
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,872
[THINKING] WHOA! DIANE
KEATON IS NOT WEARING A BRA.

251
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,708
OKAY, DON'T LET YOUR MOM
SEE YOU LOOK.

252
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,334
BUT I HAVE TO LOOK.

253
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,961
I'M LOOKIN'.

254
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,964
I'M LOOKIN', AND I DON'T CARE!

255
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,799
OH, PLEASE.

256
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,176
HE EXPECTS HER TO MAKE LOVE

257
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,471
WHILE HE'S WEARING
THOSE BLACK SOCKS?

258
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:48,767
NOTE TO SELF: THROW
AWAY ALL BLACK SOCKS.

259
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,311
MAH-JONGG?

260
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,230
WHAT THE HELL IS MAH-JONGG?

261
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:55,482
MAH-JONGG?

262
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:58,777
WHAT THE HELL IS MAH-JONGG?

263
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:04,073
OKAY. "AN ASPIRIN
THE SIZE OF A BRICK."

264
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:07,410
NOW, THAT IS FUNNY.

265
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,079
FINALLY, A SCENE WITHOUT SEX.

266
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,791
OH, GREAT. DRUGS.

267
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,251
THANK YOU, WOODY ALLEN.

268
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,506
HUH. I GUESS
COCAINE IS EXPENSIVE.

269
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:21,841
I'M FINALLY GETTING THE
FEELING BACK IN MY JAW?

270
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,718
I DON'T GET THAT.
I MEAN, HE WAS JUST

271
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,846
IN BED WITH HER AND... OH! OKAY.

272
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,014
I SEE.

273
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,433
OH, GOD. I HOPE MY MOM
DOESN'T GET THAT.

274
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,686
OOH. I WONDER IF ERIC GETS THAT.

275
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:37,565
WELL, I AM NOT
GONNA EXPLAIN IT TO HIM.

276
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,032
SO NOW PATTY'S SEEIN' FEZ,
AND I JUST DON'T GET IT.

277
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,452
'CAUSE SHE COULDA HAD ME.

278
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,122
I'M A REAL CATCH, MAN.

279
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,377
ALL RIGHT! I HAD TWINS, MAN!

280
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,422
OH, LOOK. THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL!

281
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,551
CONGRATULATIONS.

282
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,427
THANKS, MAN.

283
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,595
HEY, I DON'T WANNA BE
COMPETITIVE OR ANYTHING, MAN,

284
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:14,269
BUT, UH, I'VE GOT TWO KIDS,
AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY.

285
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:18,231
YOU'RE JUST A LONELY
PLUMBER, DUDE.

286
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,233
IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD,

287
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,901
BUT IT'S FEZ.

288
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,153
I TAUGHT HIM
EVERYTHING HE KNOWS.

289
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,447
IT'S ALL BACKWARDS, MAN.

290
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:29,409
I GUESS YOU JUST CAN'T
DWELL ON THINGS, MAN.

291
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,785
YEAH.

292
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,412
MAYBE I SHOULD
JUST BE HAPPY FOR FEZ.

293
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,122
I MEAN, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
IN HIS WHOLE LIFE

294
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:37,041
THAT HE'S EVER
HAD A GIRL, YOU KNOW.

295
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,169
NOW, YOU KNOW, A WHILE
BACK, I PICKED UP A CARD

296
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:43,506
THAT, YOU KNOW... AND I
HAD A CAR ACCIDENT...

297
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:48,261
AND, UH, I WAS DWELLING
ON THAT, MAN.

298
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:53,850
I'M SORRY, WHAT WERE
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

299
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,060
MAYBE I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.

300
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,898
IF YOU GET BACK TO WORK,
YOU'RE FIRED, MAN.

301
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,195
HEY, I GOT TWINS AGAIN, MAN!

302
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,742
JUST ADMIT IT, DONNA.

303
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,869
PATTY IS TOTALLY WRONG FOR FEZ.

304
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,621
WELL, JACKIE,
WE'VE NEVER SEEN YOU

305
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,457
QUITE THIS TRANSPARENT BEFORE.

306
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,208
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

307
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,544
SHE'S SO AWFUL, DONNA!

308
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:25,006
LET'S HATE HER FOREVER, DONNA!

309
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,466
LET'S SHAVE HER HEAD AND RUN HER

310
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,010
"OUT OF TOWN, DONNA!"

311
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,179
FOCUS, DONNA!

312
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,890
WE'RE RAGGING ON PATTY,
REMEMBER?

313
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,498
JACKIE, DID YOU EVER
THINK THAT MAYBE

314
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,685
YOU HATE PATTY
BECAUSE YOU LIKE FEZ?

315
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:42,649
OH, YOU ARE IN DANGEROUS
TERRITORY, PINCIOTTI.

316
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,901
NO, I MEAN, IT'S TRUE.

317
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,320
YOU HATE SEEING FEZ DROOL
OVER SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU.

318
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,822
YOU'RE CRAZY. I DON'T LIKE FEZ.

319
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,366
I THINK YOU DO.

320
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,494
OH, SHUT UP.

321
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,664
JACKIE, YOU'RE BLUSHING!

322
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,583
OW!

323
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,126
I'LL ADMIT THAT, UH...

324
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,420
FEZ WOULD BE OKAY
FOR A QUICK FLING

325
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,268
IF I WAS OFF ON A VACATION
WITH MY PARENTS,

326
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:10,385
LIKE IN MICHIGAN OR CUBA.

327
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,595
WHERE NO ONE
WOULD EVER FIND OUT!

328
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,764
EVER, EVER, EVER.

329
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:18,351
FEZ AND JACKIE,
SITTIN' IN A TREE.

330
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:22,397
MR. AND MRS. FEZ...

331
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,816
FEZ.

332
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,860
DONNA, PLEASE, PLEASE SHUT UP.

333
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,946
JACKIE, YOU ARE SO
TOTALLY HOT FOR HIM.

334
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,116
I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.

335
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,119
OH, MY GOD.

336
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,037
OH, MY GOD!

337
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,206
I LIKE FEZ!

338
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,918
[SCREAMING] NO!

339
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,050
NO!

340
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,309
WELL, BOY, WASN'T THAT
FUN, SEEING ALL THOSE

341
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:04,272
SEX SCENES WITH YOUR MOTHER?

342
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,151
OH, IT WAS SUPER-SEXY.

343
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,820
I'M SO GLAD WE COULD
ENJOY THAT TOGETHER.

344
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,030
REALLY, I AM.

345
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:15,366
SO, I GUESS WOMEN IN NEW
YORK DON'T WEAR BRAS.

346
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,953
UM, IT'S DISGUSTING...

347
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:22,457
AND WE SHOULD
MOVE THERE IMMEDIATELY.

348
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:23,958
WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

349
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:27,378
BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH
NIPPLES FOR ONE DAY.

350
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,797
MOM.

351
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,174
WHAT?

352
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:35,136
I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR
YOU SAY, "NIPPLES," OKAY?

353
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:39,015
WHY NOT? MEN HAVE NIPPLES.

354
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,309
YOUR FATHER HAS NIPPLES.

355
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,604
NO! HE DOES NOT!

356
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:51,611
OKAY. SO, WHAT WAS YOUR
FAVORITE PART OF THE MOVIE?

357
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:55,948
EH, I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU.

358
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,743
OH, COME ON.

359
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,621
OKAY, UM...

360
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,164
DIANE KEATON'S NIPPLES.

361
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:07,418
[LAUGHING]

362
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,213
[CAR HORN HONKS]

363
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,968
OKAY. PAY ME.

364
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,970
LEO, I GOTTA HELP
THE CUSTOMER, MAN.

365
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,806
I THINK HE'S GONNA DRIVE AWAY.

366
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,140
EH, LET HIM GO.

367
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,018
I DON'T NEED HIS
STINKIN' PHOTO MONEY.

368
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,522
I'M A DOCTOR.

369
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,941
OKAY, MAN, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S IT.

370
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,818
THIS GAME IS OVER, MAN.

371
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:35,321
THIS IS NOT LIFE. THIS IS LIFE!

372
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,449
YEAH, BUT THIS LIFE
IS SO MUCH BETTER

373
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:42,161
THAN THIS LIFE, MAN.

374
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:46,082
IN THE... IN THE GAME,
I GOT KIDS, MAN.

375
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,751
IN REAL LIFE,
MY KIDS SPLIT ON ME.

376
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:52,380
REALLY, MAN? YEAH.

377
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,551
MY PARENTS SPLIT ON ME.

378
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,429
OH, WOW.
NOW WE FOUND EACH OTHER.

379
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,307
HEY, DO YOU WANNA BE MY FATHER?

380
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,400
SURE.

381
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,903
OKAY. GO AHEAD. SPIN, DAD.

382
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:24,453
I GOT A 10.

383
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,418
WELL, MAYBE MAH-JONGG
IS A TYPE OF FOOD.

384
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:31,836
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU COULD BE RIGHT.

385
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,204
IT'S PROBABLY CHINESE NOODLES.

386
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,590
YES.

387
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,634
HEY, YOU WANNA GO SEE
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS SOMETIME?

388
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,053
YEAH. I'D LOVE TO.

389
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,598
VERY COOL. GOOD NIGHT, MOM.

390
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,443
WHAT DID HE DO?

391
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,696
I SWEAR I'LL KICK HIS ASS.

392
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:05,995
NO. HE WAS JUST...
HE WAS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.

393
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,957
OH. AHEM.

394
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:17,632
OKAY.

395
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,185
IS SOMETHING WRONG?

396
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,770
NO. WHY?

397
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:35,650
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST YOU...
YOU SEEM VERY REMOVED.

398
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,277
WELL, NO. I'M FINE.

399
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,279
ARE YOU SURE?

400
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,865
UH-HUH.

401
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,244
I... YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S
ME, BUT Y-Y-YOU DO,

402
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,789
YOU SEEM VERY REMOVED.

403
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,751
ERIC, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY GEOMETRY BOOK?

404
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,127
'CAUSE WHILE THE TWO OF
YOU ARE DOING THAT,

405
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:56,837
I THINK I'M GONNA
DO SOME HOMEWORK.

406
00:20:57,005 --> 00:21:00,758
SEE? THIS IS WHAT
I CALL BEING REMOVED.

407
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,796
DONNA, WHEN WE'RE MAKING OUT,
YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT,

408
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:11,352
LIKE... GEOMETRY AND
STUFF, ARE YOU?

409
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,729
NEVER.

410
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:17,108
UNLESS I HAVE
A TEST THE NEXT DAY.

411
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,068
OKAY.

412
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,152
YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE
JUST THE SWEETEST

413
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,404
THING IN THE WORLD

414
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:23,531
TO GO OUT WITH YOUR MOM.

415
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,533
THANK YOU.

416
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,370
SO, DID MOMMY
BUY YOU NEW UNDERPANTS?

417
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,372
OKAY, GET OFF ME.

418
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,820
DID MOMMY BUY YOU
NEW UNDERPANTS?

419
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:34,125
OOH, LET ME SEE THE UNDERPANTS.

420
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,293
GET OFF ME.

421
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,086
LET ME SEE THE UNDERPANTS.

422
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,672
B-3.

423
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,217
HIT. DAMN!
YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!

424
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,012
YOU KNOW,
A WELL-MAINTAINED FLEET

425
00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:48,806
IS THE BACKBONE OF
ANY MILITARY STRUCTURE,

426
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,534
AND WITH YOUR FLOATING
ARSENAL DEPLETED,

427
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,143
YOUR TROOPS ARE LIKELY
TO SUFFER SOME

428
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,396
SERIOUS COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

429
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,065
HUH.

430
00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:00,609
WOW. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?

431
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:02,820
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE
BEEN IN THE NAVY.

432
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,365
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