1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:04,378 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:05,746 HEY, DAD, CAN I GO TO VANSTOCK 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,840 WITH THE GUYS THIS WEEKEND? 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,968 WHAT THE HELL'S A VANSTOCK? 5 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,344 WELL, IT'S LIKE WOODSTOCK, 6 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:17,057 BUT WITH A GREATER EMPHASIS ON VANS. 7 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:20,144 SOUNDS STUPID. 8 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:23,272 HAVE A GOOD TIME. 9 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,234 OH, THEN, DADDY, SINCE ERIC IS GOING OUT OF TOWN, 10 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,610 CAN I HAVE HIS CAR? 11 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,571 WHY? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 12 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:34,616 EXCUSE ME, I WAS TALKING TO DADDY. 13 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:38,287 I KNOW. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 14 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,580 FRAT PARTY. 15 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,582 FRAT PARTY? NO. 16 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:42,791 BUT, DADDY... 17 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,586 LOOK, HONEY, IT'S UP TO ERIC. 18 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,839 REALLY? 19 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,257 WELL, I MEAN, I GUESS... 20 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,634 NO! 21 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,261 OKAY, WELL, THAT'S SETTLED, THEN. 22 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,096 RED, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TODAY? 23 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:59,266 READ THE WANT ADS, LOOK FOR A JOB. 24 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,934 THEN, JUST TO BREAK UP THE DAY, 25 00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,436 I THOUGHT I'D GO DOWN TO REXALL, 26 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,023 LOOK FOR SOME GOLD BOND FOR MY ATHLETE'S FOOT. 27 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,608 ANY MORE QUESTIONS? 28 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:08,859 WELL, OH, BOY, RED, 29 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,445 WE'VE GOT THE BIG HOSPITAL BANQUET TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 30 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,114 OH, RIGHT. WELL, THEN, 31 00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:18,368 SCREW THE GOLD BOND, I GOTTA GET MY HAIR DONE. 32 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:21,205 WELL, HONEY, I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA BE THAT BAD. 33 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:22,873 AND... IF IT IS, 34 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:26,627 I CAN ALWAYS GIVE YOU A SHOT OF DEMEROL. 35 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:30,005 YOU HAVE DEMEROL? 36 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:34,009 I MEAN, WHAT'S... WHAT'S DEMEROL? 37 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:39,681 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 38 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:43,227 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 39 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:46,897 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 40 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:50,275 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 41 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:54,238 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 42 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:57,991 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 43 00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:02,412 ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ 44 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,415 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 45 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,173 SO, DONNA AND I ARE ALL SET FOR VANSTOCK. 46 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,467 WHOA. DONNA CAN'T COME WITH US. 47 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,094 WHY NOT? 48 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,514 WELL... IT'S KIND OF COMPLICATED. 49 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,100 HEY, KELSO. 50 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,018 SO WHAT TIME ARE WE LEAVING FOR VANSTOCK? 51 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,270 NO. NO! YEAH. 52 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:27,521 YEAH! 53 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,856 NO! 54 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,315 [LAUGHS] 55 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,484 I GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME YOUR CAR, ERIC. 56 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,988 NOW I'LL BE WITH YOU AND KELSO ALL WEEKEND. 57 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,449 HOW COULD YOU ASK LAURIE? 58 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,368 WELL, JACKIE DIDN'T WANT TO GO. 59 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,996 WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE? 60 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,581 OH, MAN. 61 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,124 SEE, NOW YOU SEE MY PROBLEM. 62 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,417 SINCE LAURIE'S GOING, 63 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,253 I'M GONNA HAVE TO MAKE OUT WITH HER. 64 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,546 AND IF DONNA GOES, 65 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:53,964 SHE'S GONNA SEE ME MAKING OUT WITH LAURIE 66 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,132 AND THEN TELL JACKIE. 67 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:59,178 THEREFORE, DONNA CAN'T GO. 68 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:03,432 OR... YOU COULD JUST NOT MAKE OUT WITH MY SISTER. 69 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,060 BE SERIOUS, ERIC. 70 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,314 OKAY, LOOK. DONNA'S COMING, 71 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:11,773 AND IF THAT BLOWS YOUR WEEKEND, 72 00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,692 THEN... TOO BAD. 73 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:14,943 FINE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 74 00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,030 YOU'RE MAKING CHEATING A LOT HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE. 75 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:29,416 KITTY AND I USED TO WATCH THE SOAPS ALL THE TIME. 76 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:33,337 SO NOW, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE KITTY. 77 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,719 DON'T YOU HAVE A TV AT HOME? 78 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,430 IT'S TOO BIG. 79 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:48,018 I HAVE TO TURN MY HEAD TO SEE WHO'S TALKING. 80 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,438 IT HURTS MY NECK. 81 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,732 OOH, SHH, SHH. IT'S STARTING. 82 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,484 OKAY, THAT'S HEATHER. 83 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,985 SHE'S CARRYING JEFF'S BABY, 84 00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:59,279 ONLY JEFF IS IN INTENSIVE CARE. 85 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:02,866 HE'S GOT A BULLET IN HIS BRAIN. 86 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,203 ISN'T HE THE LUCKY BASTARD? 87 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,755 DONNA, CHECK IT OUT. 88 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,006 I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS ALL MORNING, 89 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,508 AND I'M PRETTY PROUD. 90 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,595 I ZIPPED OUR 2 SLEEPING BAGS TOGETHER TO MAKE ONE. 91 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:25,722 LOOK, THROW YOUR STUFF IN THE BACK. 92 00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:26,848 I'M GONNA GO GET SOME SNACKS FOR THE ROAD. 93 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,434 OKAY. 94 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,025 OH. HI. DONNA. 95 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,445 SO, THAT'S THE CARPET. 96 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:44,366 I WAS JUST SHOWING LAURIE THE CARPET. 97 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,326 I NEED HELP WITH MY STUFF. 98 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,371 I'M GONNA GIVE HER SOME HELP WITH HER STUFF. 99 00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:51,938 I HOPE YOU LIKE TUNA FISH SANDWICHES, 100 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,002 'CAUSE THAT'S ALL WE GOT. 101 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:59,172 I JUST SAW KELSO AND YOUR SISTER 102 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,258 MAKING OUT IN THE VAN. 103 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,510 OH, NO, THAT'S, UH... 104 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,137 DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? 105 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,555 DID I? UH, NO. 106 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,974 NO, I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. 107 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,684 HEY, HI. 108 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:15,022 DONNA JUST SAW KELSO AND LAURIE MAKING OUT. 109 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,774 SO? 110 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,026 AREN'T YOU SHOCKED? 111 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:22,779 I'M SHOCKED, FOR ONE, TO HAVE LEARNED ABOUT THIS. 112 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,409 HEY, GUYS. 113 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,994 I DECIDED TO GO. 114 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:32,706 I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN TO SURPRISE MICHAEL. 115 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,210 THAT WOULD BE FUN. 116 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,212 UM, JACKIE, LOOK, 117 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,630 BEFORE YOU SURPRISE KELSO, 118 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,678 THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW. 119 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:47,429 WHAT? 120 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,974 YOU KNOW, VANSTOCK IS GONNA BE REALLY BORING, 121 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,476 AND IT'S GONNA BE MUDDY, 122 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,083 AND THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THERE'LL BE 123 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,188 SOME CANADIANS THERE. 124 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,648 EEW! 125 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,567 NO, NO, JACKIE, YOU SHOULD GO. 126 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,695 YOU CAN'T LET THE CANADIANS WIN. 127 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,908 FEZ, PUT MY STUFF IN THE BACK. 128 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,162 HEY, JACKIE... 129 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,248 YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE THE PERFECT SURPRISE FOR KELSO? 130 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:16,750 WE'LL PULL THE CURTAINS, 131 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,293 AND YOU HIDE IN THE BACK WITH US. 132 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,711 AND AT SOME POINT, 133 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,881 YOU JUMP UP FRONT AND YELL, "SURPRISE!" 134 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,428 OH, MY GOD, THAT IS PERFECT! 135 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,389 NOW, HOP IN THE VAN BEFORE KELSO SEES YOU. 136 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,266 HURRY UP. 137 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,562 OH, THIS MAY BE THE BEST ROAD TRIP EVER. 138 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:44,111 SO, YOU WANT TO SHIFT? 139 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:45,612 IT'S AN AUTOMATIC. 140 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,115 I KNOW. 141 00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,533 SURPRISE! 142 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,911 AAH! 143 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,709 Soap actor on TV: BRAD, HOW COULD YOU SLEEP WITH MY WIFE? 144 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:01,086 YOU'RE MY BROTHER. 145 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,213 Brad: I'M NOT YOUR BROTHER. 146 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,631 AND I'M NOT BRAD. 147 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,634 HOLY COW. 148 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,178 I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. 149 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,222 WAIT TILL RACHEL FINDS OUT. 150 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,058 BUT RACHEL'S ABOUT TO DUMP BRAD FOR JEFF. 151 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,145 NO! JEFF'S IN A COMA. 152 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,354 OH, COME ON, MIDGE. 153 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,022 SHE CAN'T LOVE A GUY IN A COMA? 154 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:24,484 WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LOVE IS THAT? 155 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,653 LOOK AT THIS. 156 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,488 JACKIE BRINGS 4 DIFFERENT TYPES OF MASCARA 157 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,449 JUST TO PLEASE KELSO. 158 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:31,992 AND WHAT DOES KELSO BRING? 159 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,411 ANOTHER WOMAN. 160 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,179 FEZ, YOU SHOULD REALLY STOP GOING THROUGH 161 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,372 OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF. 162 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,500 IT'S KIND OF CREEPY. 163 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,642 SO, HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS WHOLE THING 164 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,504 HAS BEEN GOING ON? 165 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,173 WHOO. I... YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW. 166 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,883 THAT'S ANYONE'S GUESS. RIGHT, FEZ? 167 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,468 WHAT? KELSO AND LAURIE. 168 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,262 SEE? FEZ DOESN'T EVEN KNOW. I DON'T KNOW... 169 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,264 I GUE... YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST... IT'S LIKE... 170 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,934 GOD, THIS IS SO WRONG, YOU KNOW? 171 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,271 SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 172 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,232 WELL, I GUESS JUST LET THIS ALL BLOW OVER, 173 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,109 AND THEN JACKIE AND KELSO CAN GET MARRIED, 174 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,654 HAVE KIDS, AND BE REALLY UNHAPPY. 175 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,990 SO... 176 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,910 LET'S NOT THIS RUIN OUR VANSTOCK EXPERIENCE, OKAY? 177 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,162 LOOK AT THIS. 178 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:21,041 BUBBLE GUM LIP SMACKER. 179 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,502 WHAT A WASTE. 180 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,216 SO, YOU KIDS HAVING FUN? 181 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,469 NOTHING LIKE A ROAD TRIP TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 182 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:35,055 YEAH. RIGHT. 183 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,682 LIKE JACKIE AND LAURIE. 184 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,184 THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW EACH OTHER, 185 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,355 AND YET, THEY HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. 186 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,232 LIKE WHAT? 187 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,108 OH, WELL, 188 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:50,362 YOU BOTH HAVE REALLY NEAT HAIR. 189 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,489 HE'S RIGHT. I LOVE YOUR HAIR. 190 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,907 WHAT DO YOU USE? 191 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,575 HOT ROLLERS. 192 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,702 SO DO I! 193 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,621 I HATE STYLING WANDS. 194 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,623 SO DO I! 195 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,083 [GASPS] 196 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,584 SEE? 197 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,002 YOU TWO KEEP TALKING. 198 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,838 THERE MAY BE PLENTY OF OTHER THINGS THAT YOU HAVE IN COMMON. 199 00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,674 NO! 200 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,008 NO TALKING. 201 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,511 IT MAKES THE DRIVER NERVOUS. 202 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,472 SO JUST EVERYBODY NOT TALK. 203 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,475 OKAY. 204 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,644 LET'S JUST SING SONGS. 205 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,938 WHO KNOWS THE WORDS TO THREE'S COMPANY? 206 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,815 I DO. I DO. 207 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,400 NO SINGING. 208 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,861 ♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪ 209 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,405 ♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪ 210 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,031 ♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪ 211 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,909 ♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪ 212 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:41,162 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY, TOO ♪ 213 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,420 WOW, MAN. VANSTOCK. 214 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,338 IT'S EXACTLY HOW I PICTURED IT. 215 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:53,300 HAS ANYONE SEEN MY TOP? 216 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:56,011 I LOST MY TOP. 217 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:01,224 ACTUALLY, IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN I PICTURED IT. 218 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,018 DO NOT TAKE 219 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,270 THE BLUE ACID! 220 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,981 IF YOU HAVE TAKEN THE BLUE ACID, 221 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:13,862 PLEASE, REPORT TO THE RED CROSS TENT! 222 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,660 LOOK AT THIS DEBAUCHERY. 223 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:24,706 THIS IS THE SMELLY UNDERSIDE OF A ONCE GREAT NATION. 224 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,543 OOH, YUM, CANDY APPLES. 225 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,212 HEY, MAN. 226 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,590 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HELP THAT CHICK FIND HER TOP? 227 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,008 NAH... 228 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:38,678 I GOTTA STAY HERE WITH THE OLD BALLS AND CHAINS. 229 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,681 YOU KNOW, KELSO, 230 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:44,517 DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT BEING HONEST WITH THEM? 231 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,978 MAYBE THEY WON'T BE MAD. 232 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,565 MAYBE THEY'LL LIKE THE IDEA OF SHARING YOU. 233 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:56,196 MAN, THAT'D BE GREAT, HUH? 234 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,864 YOU THINK THEY'D GO FOR THAT? 235 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,200 'CAUSE THAT'S BEEN... 236 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,411 OH, NO. 237 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:06,539 YOU'RE TRYING TO SET ME UP, HYDE. 238 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:09,918 YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON'T TRY, MAN. 239 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,462 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 240 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,381 BE SERIOUS. 'CAUSE THIS IS SERIOUS. 241 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,799 THIS HAS BEEN A DREAM OF MINE SINCE I WAS A KID 242 00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:18,635 AND SAW THE PARENT TRAP. 243 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,970 THERE YOU GO. 244 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,806 OKAY, WE'RE HEADING OFF TO THE RESTROOM. 245 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:25,141 OKAY. 246 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,909 WHOA, MAN, THEY'RE GOING TO THE RESTROOM? 247 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:29,145 YOU KNOW WHAT GIRLS DO IN THE RESTROOM, RIGHT? 248 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,774 OH. I LIKE TO PRETEND LIKE THEY DON'T DO THAT. 249 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,821 NOT THAT, MAN. THEY TALK. 250 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,072 SO? 251 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,281 TO EACH OTHER. 252 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,908 OH, MY GOD. 253 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,452 GIRLS, WAIT UP! 254 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,832 WHAT A MAROON. 255 00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:50,333 SO, RED, THIS IS DR. BROWNING 256 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,293 AND, UH, DR. CLOKE. 257 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,045 SO YOU'RE KITTY'S HUSBAND, EH? 258 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,298 SHE'S A LITTLE SPITFIRE. 259 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,050 WE COULDN'T RUN THE WARD WITHOUT HER. 260 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,427 OH... 261 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:02,387 WELL, YOU COULD, BUT EVERYONE WOULD DIE. 262 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:06,015 [LAUGHING] 263 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,520 OH, SO, RED, WHAT DO YOU DO? 264 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,815 ABOUT WHAT? 265 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,859 UM, RED USED TO BE IN MANAGEMENT 266 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,527 AT THE AUTO PARTS PLANT. 267 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:18,987 OH, THAT'S GREAT. 268 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,114 WHAT DO YOU DO NOW? 269 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,576 ABOUT WHAT? 270 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:25,869 OH, OH, MY GOSH, 271 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,537 RED, LOOK, THEY HAVE AN OPEN BAR. 272 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,874 [NERVOUS LAUGH] 273 00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,845 NO, HE'S NOT HIS BROTHER. 274 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:48,016 HE'S NOT EVEN BRAD. 275 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,851 BUT HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM. 276 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,311 THAT'S THE POINT. 277 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,146 YOU KNOW, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WATCH 278 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,357 IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ATTENTION. 279 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:57,817 I'M SORRY ABOUT RED. 280 00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,545 HE'S JUST... HE'S BEEN A TINY BIT CRANKY 281 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,070 SINCE HE LOST HIS JOB. 282 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:02,280 KITTY, IT'S FINE. 283 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,449 I KNOW, EVERYTHING'S FINE. 284 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:08,578 HE JUST, UM, HE SITS AROUND AND HE MOPES ALL DAY. 285 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,122 HE ONCE TOLD ME THAT IF HE EVER STARTED WATCHING SOAPS, 286 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,540 I SHOULD SHOOT HIM. 287 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,917 AND I GOTTA TELL YOU, 288 00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,376 I AM GOSH-DARNED TEMPTED. 289 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,420 [LAUGHS] 290 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,068 WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN MY WIFE IS UPSET, 291 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:21,007 I DO SOMETHING EXTRA SPECIAL FOR HER, 292 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,801 LIKE SURPRISE HER WITH SOME CANDY. 293 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,719 DOES RED HAVE A SWEET TOOTH? 294 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,221 UM, NO. 295 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,765 NO, UM, MORE OF A BEER TOOTH. 296 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,184 OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES, 297 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:35,772 YOU'RE A NURSE AND YOU CAN'T LOVE A GUY IN A COMA? 298 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,234 WHAT THE HELL KIND OF HOSPITAL IS THIS? 299 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,696 WOW, LOOK AT THE STARS. 300 00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,573 YEAH. 301 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:51,037 YOUR SISTER'S KIND OF A SLUT. 302 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,167 I NOTICED THAT. 303 00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,921 HOW IS IT THAT SHE TURNED OUT SO AWFUL 304 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,674 AND YOU TURNED OUT SO NICE? 305 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,844 OH, WELL... 306 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,930 YOU SEE... 307 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,641 OKAY, DONNA, THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW. 308 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,810 OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE PREGNANT. 309 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,604 [LAUGHS] 310 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:22,402 IT'S NICE TO LAUGH, ISN'T IT? 311 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:26,197 'CAUSE I KIND OF KNEW ABOUT KELSO AND LAURIE ALL ALONG 312 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,949 AND... AND DIDN'T TELL YOU. 313 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,243 EXCUSE ME? 314 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,953 WHICH WAS WRONG. 315 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,872 BUT NOW I'M BEING HONEST, 316 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,874 WHICH IS RIGHT... RIGHT? 317 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,333 GET OUT OF THIS BAG. 318 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:38,626 NO, WAIT, DONNA, JUST... 319 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:41,045 FINE, I'LL GET OUT. 320 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:46,301 OH, THIS IS THE WORST VANSTOCK EVER. 321 00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,177 Announcer: AND NOW, ANOTHER EPISODE 322 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:52,098 OF POINT PLACE. 323 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:56,185 MY GOD, KITTY... 324 00:14:56,353 --> 00:15:00,273 WHAT HAVE I BECOME? 325 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,154 I DON'T KNOW. 326 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,198 YOU'RE NOT THE MAN I MARRIED. 327 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:12,619 AND I'M NOT KITTY. 328 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:17,540 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 329 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,918 I AM KITTY. 330 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:23,546 BUT I AM LEAVING YOU FOR DR. CLOKE. 331 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,674 OR SHOULD I SAY... 332 00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:30,970 ERIC'S REAL FATHER. 333 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,432 BUT WHY? 334 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,894 HE HAS A JOB. 335 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,188 WHAT DO YOU HAVE, RED FORMAN? 336 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:44,025 WHAT... DO... YOU... HAVE? 337 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,656 I'VE GOT NOTHING. 338 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,287 DEAR GOD, 339 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:59,290 WILL I EVER WORK AGAIN? 340 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,627 [CRYING] 341 00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:17,225 OKAY, I'M BACK. 342 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,228 SO... 343 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,356 PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS. 344 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,233 WELL... 345 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,360 ONE THING I'M THINKING, 346 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:31,906 I GOTTA STOP WATCHING THE SOAPS. 347 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,076 WELL, I THINK THAT IS A GOOD IDEA. 348 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,828 SO, LISTEN, UM, 349 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,540 I BROUGHT YOU HOME A SPECIAL LITTLE TREAT. 350 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,546 OH... 351 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,635 AHH... 352 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,055 HEY... 353 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,640 THAT'S A NICE BEER. 354 00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,852 YES, IT IS. 355 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,730 WHAT'S THE OCCASION? 356 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:06,357 IT'S, UM... 357 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:09,318 TO CELEBRATE YOUR NEW JOB. 358 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,738 BUT, KITTY, I DIDN'T GET A JOB. 359 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:16,242 NOT YET, BUT I KNOW YOU WILL. 360 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,704 THANKS, SWEETIE. 361 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,086 AHH... 362 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,921 TELL YOU ONE THING... 363 00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:30,965 I BET I GET A JOB 364 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,218 BEFORE JEFF GETS OUT OF THAT COMA. 365 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,395 HEY. 366 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:45,897 HOW'S IT GOING? 367 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,648 WELL, UH... 368 00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,276 FOUND THE TOP, JUST LOST THE GIRL. 369 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,237 BUMMER. 370 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:54,906 YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP? 371 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,657 PUNISHING ERIC. 372 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,409 HE KNEW ALL ABOUT KELSO AND LAURIE, 373 00:17:58,577 --> 00:17:59,702 DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME. 374 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,830 WHAT A BASTARD. 375 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:04,040 OH, LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 376 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,750 OF COURSE I KNEW. 377 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,918 EVERYBODY KNEW. 378 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:08,836 YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW. 379 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:12,215 SHUT UP, HYDE. I'M MAD AT HIM. 380 00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,926 LOOK, YOU DON'T RAT ON YOUR FRIENDS, 381 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,886 AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. 382 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,513 NOW, I'M LAYING TRAPS LEFT AND RIGHT 383 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,306 TRYING TO GET KELSO CAUGHT, 384 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,724 BUT I'M NOT GONNA TELL ON HIM, 385 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:25,144 'CAUSE THEN I'D BE A RAT. 386 00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:26,979 AND THAT'S WHAT FORMAN WOULD HAVE BEEN 387 00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,272 IF HE HAD TOLD YOU. 388 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,607 HE STILL SHOULD'VE TOLD ME. 389 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,234 GIVE HIM A BREAK, DONNA. 390 00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:32,641 I MEAN, THE GUY KISSES YOUR ASS. 391 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,820 HE DOES EVERYTHING FOR YOU, 392 00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:36,447 AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN SLEEPING WITH HIM. 393 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,867 YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S TRUE. 394 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,538 YOU'RE LUCKY HE EVEN TALKS TO YOU. 395 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,706 IN FACT, I WOULD'VE DUMPED YOU MONTHS AGO. 396 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,334 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M OLD-FASHIONED, SO... 397 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,964 OKAY, HYDE, THANKS FOR THE HEART-TO-HEART. 398 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,258 AH, GET BENT. 399 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,220 ALL RIGHT... WELL... 400 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:03,015 I'M OFF TO FIND THE JUGS THAT FIT THIS TOP. 401 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,560 LIKE CINDERELLA. 402 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:10,273 EXCUSE ME, MISS? 403 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,234 Jackie: YEAH, WHO IS IT? 404 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,861 IT'S ME. 405 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:17,113 HEY, JACKIE... LAURIE... 406 00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,866 FEZ. 407 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,660 GOOD EVENING, MICHAEL. 408 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,663 WELL, AREN'T WE ALL COZY? 409 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,040 SO, WHERE AM I GONNA SLEEP? 410 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,043 UH, GEE, KELSO, I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY ROOM. 411 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:32,545 BUT IT'S MY VAN. 412 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:35,047 I CAN SLEEP WITH YOU ANYTIME. 413 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:38,551 TONIGHT, I'M REALLY ENJOYING GIRL TALK WITH LAURIE. 414 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,803 THEN WHY DOES HE GET TO STAY? 415 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,471 WELL, I'M NOT A GIRL, 416 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,099 BUT I DO ENJOY THE GIRL TALK. 417 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,268 GET OUT OF THE VAN, FEZ! 418 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,562 NO, BE NICE TO FEZ. 419 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,147 GO AWAY, MICHAEL. 420 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,357 SHUT THE DOOR. 421 00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:59,238 AAH! 422 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,580 HEY, MOVE OVER. 423 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,085 YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME ANYMORE? 424 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:17,006 NOPE. 425 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,759 SO... WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? 426 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,135 THAT KELSO'S AN IDIOT, 427 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,180 AND IF I SAY ANYTHING TO JACKIE, IT'LL HURT HER. 428 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:28,100 YES, EXACTLY. 429 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,314 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? 430 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,483 YOU'RE, LIKE, A REALLY GREAT BOYFRIEND. 431 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:40,738 ALL RIGHT! 432 00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:45,034 WHOA. 433 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,285 ALL RIGHT. 434 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:47,578 THANK GOD I FOUND YOU GUYS. I'M FREEZING. 435 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:48,746 SCOOT OVER. 436 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,790 KELSO, NO! 437 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,626 WOW, THIS IS A ROOMY BAG, HUH? 438 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,046 SORRY IF I'M A LITTLE WET. 439 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,507 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL? 440 00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,008 OH, I FOUND THESE 2 DOGS, 441 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:03,761 AND WE STARTED WRESTLING. 442 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,222 THEY WERE SO COOL. 443 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,307 ALL RIGHT, GOOD NIGHT. 444 00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:09,934 NO, KELSO, GET OUT! 445 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,394 GET OUT! YOU SMELL LIKE A DOG. 446 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:12,645 YOU SMELL. 447 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,021 GET OUT. 448 00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:16,440 WELL, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP? 449 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,276 Both: NO ONE CARES. 450 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,820 FINE! 451 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,285 OKAY, THIS IS NICE. 452 00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:32,873 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 453 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,671 Announcer: WILL RED GET A JOB? 454 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,340 WILL JACKIE EVER FIND OUT ABOUT KELSO AND LAURIE? 455 00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:44,051 WILL WE EVER FIND OUT WHERE FEZ IS FROM? 456 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,470 WILL HYDE EVER FIND HIS TOPLESS CINDERELLA? 457 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,307 AND WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO MIDGE'S DAUGHTER TINA? 458 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,142 WILL ERIC AND DONNA 459 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,643 EVER CONSUMMATE THEIR ILLICIT TEENAGE LOVE? 460 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,520 AND WHAT ABOUT CHUCK AND BOB? 461 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,605 OH, WAIT, THEY AREN'T ON THIS SHOW. 462 00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:59,066 SEE, I TOLD YOU WE WEREN'T ON THIS SHOW. 463 00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:00,693 OH, SHUT UP, BOB. 464 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,153 Announcer: CONFUSED? 465 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:07,325 YOU WON'T BE AFTER THE NEXT EPISODE OF... 466 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:10,453 THAT '70s SHOW!