1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:12,965 LAURIE'S BUS ISN'T HERE YET. 2 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,346 DAD, CAN WE GET IN THE CAR AND TURN ON THE HEAT? 3 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,264 I'M FREEZING. 4 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,308 I'M NOT WASTING GAS JUST SO YOU CAN BE COMFORTABLE. 5 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,645 WELL, CAN WE AT LEAST GO WAIT INSIDE? 6 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,398 I'M NOT GOING IN THAT BUS STATION WITH THOSE PEOPLE. 7 00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:26,942 GOD, I'M FREEZING. 8 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:27,943 ERIC, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. 9 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,551 YOUR SISTER'S BRINGING A FRIEND HOME, 10 00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,363 SO YOU'LL BE SLEEPING IN THE BASEMENT. 11 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:32,531 THE BASEMENT? 12 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:33,782 THEY SHOULD SLEEP IN LAURIE'S ROOM. 13 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,284 OH, AND RED, I'VE BEEN THINKING... 14 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,578 MAYBE THIS THANKSGIVING WE SHOULD SKIP THE BIG TURKEY. 15 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,788 SMALL ONES ARE ON SALE AT PIGGLY WIGGLY. 16 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,791 THIS FAMILY DOESN'T SCRIMP ON HOLIDAYS. 17 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,753 CAN YOU IMAGINE MY MOTHER SITTING DOWN TO A CHICKEN? 18 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,297 RED, YOUR MOTHER WON'T EAT MY COOKING ANYWAY, 19 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,799 SO THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM. 20 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,487 DAD, THEY SHOULD SLEEP IN THE BASEMENT. 21 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:53,969 RED, LAST THANKSGIVING SHE SAID 22 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:57,389 HER JAW WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO CHEW THE TURKEY, 23 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,225 AND THAT WAS A MAGNIFICENT TURKEY. 24 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,728 DAD, IT'S MY ROOM... I WORK MYSELF... 25 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,105 ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT. HOLD IT. 26 00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:07,483 NOW, KITTY, DON'T GET WORKED UP OVER MY MOTHER. 27 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,984 AND YOU, YOU'RE SLEEPING IN THE BASEMENT, 28 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,112 AND WE'RE ALL HAVING A HAPPY DAMN THANKSGIVING. 29 00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:15,908 MOMMY, DADDY... THIS IS KATE. 30 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,743 HI. 31 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:19,828 HI, SWEETHEART. 32 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,997 OH, LET'S GET IN THE CAR. YOU MUST BE FREEZING. 33 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,960 SO YOU'RE ERIC. 34 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:31,340 YOUR SISTER DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE SO CUTE. 35 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:35,552 WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN THIS WEEKEND. 36 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,557 YOU CAN SLEEP IN MY ROOM! 37 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:42,589 GET KATE SETTLED INTO YOUR ROOM. 38 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:43,685 YEAH. 39 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:44,770 OH, YEAH, AND, HEY, DON'T FORGET 40 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,189 TO SHOW HER YOUR G.I. JOE DOLLS. 41 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:48,649 THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 42 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:49,608 THAT'LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO TELL DAD 43 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,735 ABOUT THAT PROFESSOR YOU'RE DATING. 44 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:53,737 WHAT? 45 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:56,281 DAD, HE'S JOKING. 46 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,785 GOSH, I HOPE IT DOESN'T GET TOO COLD TONIGHT. 47 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,662 I SLEEP PRACTICALLY NAKED. 48 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,633 SO, KITTY, LOOKING FORWARD TO THANKSGIVING? 49 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,969 YES. 50 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,012 RED'S MOTHER IS COMING. 51 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:23,142 WHAT'S THAT PET NAME SHE HAS FOR YOU? 52 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,352 WHORE. 53 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:27,813 OH, YOU KNOW, SHE DOESN'T BOTHER ME 54 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,065 AS MUCH AS SHE DOES RED, AND HE'S... 55 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,151 HE'S TENSE ENOUGH, WHAT WITH CHRISTMAS COMING UP 56 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,820 AND HIM ONLY WORKING PART-TIME. 57 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,656 PART-TIME, HUH? THAT'S ROUGH. 58 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,700 OOH, WHEN BOB GETS TENSE, 59 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,535 WE TAKE A BUBBLE BATH TOGETHER. 60 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,372 SOAKING MY NAKED BODY REALLY RELAXES HIM. 61 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,592 OH, DEAR... 62 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,429 MOM, TELEPHONE. 63 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,556 OH, I GOTTA GO. 64 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,852 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 65 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,522 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 66 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,817 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 67 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:17,613 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 68 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:21,617 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 69 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:24,912 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 70 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,164 ♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪♪ 71 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,416 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING 72 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,377 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 73 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,139 SO, THIS KATE, IS SHE HOT? 74 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:44,890 OF COURSE SHE'S HOT. 75 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,851 ALL COLLEGE GIRLS ARE HOT. 76 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,312 I MEAN, WE'VE ALL SEEN THE BROCHURES, RIGHT? 77 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:54,441 OKAY. DONNA, HELP ME PLAY SOME MUSIC... 78 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,776 RIGHT NOW. 79 00:03:58,696 --> 00:03:59,488 SO SHE'S HOT, RIGHT? 80 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,115 OH, SO HOT. YEAH. 81 00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:05,911 OKAY... 82 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,538 ARE YOU OKAY? 83 00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,374 UM... YEAH. 84 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:11,917 DONNA, HOW CAN YOU BE OKAY? 85 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:16,171 THERE'S A COLLEGE WOMAN SLEEPING IN HIS BED. 86 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,382 HE'S SLEEPING IN THE BASEMENT. 87 00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:21,426 DONNA, STAIRS ARE NOT GONNA STOP A HIGH SCHOOL HORN DOG. 88 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:26,348 BARBED WIRE WILL NOT STOP A HIGH SCHOOL HORN DOG. 89 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,891 A WALL OF FIRE WILL NOT STOP... 90 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,560 I GET IT, I GET IT. 91 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,773 POOR DONNA. SO NAIVE. 92 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,028 SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO DO? 93 00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:45,200 Kate: ERIC, I HOPE IT DOESN'T GET TOO COLD TONIGHT. 94 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,412 I SLEEP PRACTICALLY NAKED. 95 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,587 YEAH, WELL... 96 00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:02,342 I GUESS I'M JUST GONNA, OH... 97 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:03,969 JUST KIDDING. I'M TUCKERED OUT. 98 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:08,223 SO I MIGHT AS... WELL GO HOME. 99 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,520 SO TELL ME ABOUT SCHOOL. 100 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,773 OH, WELL, I'VE DECIDED TO MAJOR IN PHILOSOPHY. 101 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,108 THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE THEY JUST OPENED UP 102 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,652 THAT BIG PHILOSOPHY FACTORY IN GREEN BAY. 103 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,615 ERIC, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BEING FUNNY? 104 00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,868 I'M NOT? 105 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,494 THAT'S RIGHT. 106 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,080 NOW... SWEEP THE GARAGE. 107 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,041 YES, SIR. 108 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,670 I WONDER IF THE PILGRIMS WERE CLEVER ENOUGH 109 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,089 TO PUT PEANUT BUTTER IN THEIR CELERY. 110 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,093 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 111 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:45,844 KITTY, COULD YOU GET THAT? 112 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,014 I'M FIXING THE DRAWER. 113 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:53,894 AHEM. 114 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,021 OH, DEAR GOD. 115 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,105 YOUR MOTHER HAS ALREADY CALLED ME 116 00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,774 FIVE TIMES THIS MORNING, RED. 117 00:05:58,941 --> 00:05:59,608 YOU ANSWER IT. 118 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,235 KITTY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER. 119 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,363 SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU. 120 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:08,950 HELLO. 121 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,036 HI, MA. 122 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,081 REALLY? 123 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:19,544 IT'S FOR YOU. 124 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,254 HELLO, MOTHER FORMAN. 125 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,422 MM-HMM. 126 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,966 JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU... I DON'T KNOW... A HALF AN HOUR AGO, 127 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:28,095 THE KIDS WILL BE THERE AT NOON TO PICK YOU UP. 128 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:30,222 YUP. YOU'RE RIGHT. I NEED TO WORK ON MY ATTITUDE. 129 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,516 BYE, THEN. 130 00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,105 YOU KNOW... 131 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,856 I COULD HAVE MARRIED BILL BAUER. 132 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,526 HIS MOTHER WAS DEAD. 133 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:46,863 WHAT IF HE YELLS AT ME? 134 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,156 HE'S NOT GONNA YELL AT YOU. 135 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,991 YOU'RE DOING HIM A FAVOR. 136 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,410 GO, GO... 137 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:55,705 RED, HEH, WHAT A SURPRISE TO RUN INTO YOU. HEH. 138 00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,209 I LIVE HERE, BOB. 139 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,462 YEP, YEP, YEP, YEP, YEP, YEP, YEP, YEP. 140 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,005 OKAY, I'M GOING IN. 141 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,925 UH, ACTUALLY, RED, I, UH... 142 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,844 I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. 143 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,345 MY APPLIANCE STORE GETS, YOU KNOW, 144 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,931 REAL BUSY OVER THE HOLIDAYS, AND, UH, 145 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,539 I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP DOWN THERE. 146 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,892 OH, YOU'RE OFFERING ME A JOB? 147 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,436 NOW, I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET THE WRONG IDEA. 148 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,729 THIS IS NOT CHARITY. 149 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:20,939 CHARITY? 150 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,607 NO. NOT CHARITY. 151 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,215 I'M NOT LOOKING FOR WORK ANYWAY, BOB. 152 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,570 BUT... GOOD NIGHT, BOB! 153 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,239 MIDGE, HE YELLED AT ME. 154 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:39,701 ♪♪♪ 155 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,460 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 156 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:45,005 COME IN. 157 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,048 WOW. 158 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,010 WHAT? 159 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:54,055 UM, I WAS JUST COMING UP HERE TO GET SOMETHING TO SLEEP IN. 160 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,690 SO... 161 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,442 I... I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU LATER, THEN. 162 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,236 YOU CAN STAY AND TALK A MINUTE IF YOU WANT. 163 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:10,280 O... KAY. 164 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,616 CLOSE THE DOOR. 165 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,868 O... KAY. 166 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,501 SO... 167 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,380 KATE. 168 00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:32,928 SO, UM, THAT'S SHORT FOR KATHERINE, RIGHT? 169 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,180 YEAH. 170 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,308 HAVE A SEAT. 171 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:44,856 SO HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHERE YOU WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL YET? 172 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,274 OH. 173 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:49,236 WELL, I LIKE... YOUR SCHOOL. 174 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:53,198 I FOUND THAT IT WAS REALLY... 175 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:10,048 I HAVE TO GO TO BED NOW. 176 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,300 WAIT, WE ARE IN BED. 177 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,720 OKAY. I SEE. 178 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,472 OKAY. 179 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,643 SO... 180 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:25,689 GOOD NIGHT. 181 00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,065 ERIC... 182 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:32,153 JUST, UM... ONE SECOND? 183 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,197 [IN THOUGHT] OKAY, BASEBALL, VIETNAM, RICHARD NIXON, PAT NIXON, 184 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,449 PAT BOONE, THE GIRL WHO DOES THE WEATHER... NO, NO! 185 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,411 OKAY, JELLYFISH, REALLY BIG SPIDERS, COME ON, DIG DEEP. 186 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,746 OKAY, THE DAY WE BACKED OVER SKIPPER IN THE DRIVEWAY 187 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:42,622 AND INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE COUNTY FAIR, 188 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,375 I HAD TO BURY HIM IN THE BACK YARD. 189 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,214 OKAY. 190 00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,098 I'M GOOD. 191 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,434 AND GOOD NIGHT. 192 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,615 GOOD MORNING, RED. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 193 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,199 YEAH. 194 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,868 WELL, AHEM... 195 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,537 YOU'RE UP AWFUL EARLY. 196 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,289 WELL, LUCKILY I HEARD THE PHONE RING 197 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,626 WHEN YOUR MOTHER CALLED AT 5:00 THIS MORNING. 198 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,878 YEAH. THAT, UM... 199 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,796 THAT IS LUCKY. 200 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,324 OH, BEFORE I FORGET, LAURIE TOLD ME 201 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,508 WHAT SHE WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS. 202 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,552 A PORTABLE TV FOR HER DORM ROOM. 203 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,179 HEH. 204 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:42,432 I'M WORKING PART-TIME, SHE WANTS A TV, GREAT. 205 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,602 MAYBE BOB CAN GET YOU A GOOD DEAL ON ONE FROM HIS STORE. 206 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:49,314 I DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM THAT DAMN BOB. 207 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,650 YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID YESTERDAY? 208 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,318 HE OFFERED ME A JOB. 209 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,737 HE DID? 210 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,364 OH, HO HO HO... 211 00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:01,034 WELL, WE HAVE TO MOVE AWAY FROM SUCH AN EVIL MAN. 212 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,288 WELL, YOU'RE A LOT OF FUN IN THE MORNING. 213 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,086 HEY... 214 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:16,007 TURKEY BOY... 215 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,968 WANT TO SHOW ME YOUR GIBLETS? 216 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,439 SO YOU MADE OUT WITH A COLLEGE GIRL? 217 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:32,607 KINDA. 218 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,026 START TALKING. 219 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,277 TELL IT LIKE A STORY. 220 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:40,240 LIKE A SEXY STORY. 221 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,826 OKAY. 222 00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:47,872 SHE, LIKE, JAMMED HER ENTIRE TONGUE INTO MY MOUTH. 223 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,041 AND YOU WOULDN'T THINK A GIRL HAD, LIKE, 224 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,877 THAT MUCH TONGUE, YOU KNOW? 225 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,713 THAT IS GREAT! 226 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,757 OH... OH, YEAH. 227 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,259 WHAT? 228 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,093 I DON'T KNOW. 229 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,803 I FEEL KINDA GUILTY, 230 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,472 ALMOST LIKE... DIRTY. 231 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,309 DIRTY IS GOOD. 232 00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,854 I LIKE FEELING DIRTY. 233 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,483 NO, NO. I MEAN, I FEEL BAD. 234 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,528 LOOK, I THINK I GOTTA TELL DONNA. 235 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:21,489 REALLY? 236 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:25,702 WELL, ON BEHALF OF MEN EVERYWHERE... 237 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,000 YEAH, MAN. I MEAN, THE RIGHT THING TO DO 238 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,711 IS JUGGLE THEM BOTH UNTIL IT ALL BLOWS UP IN YOUR FACE. 239 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,506 LOOK, YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND. 240 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,508 I CAN'T HIDE ANYTHING. 241 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,969 THE MINUTE SHE LOOKS AT ME, SHE'S GONNA KNOW. 242 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,556 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? 243 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,434 I KISSED A GIRL. 244 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,103 OH, MY GOD! 245 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,902 YOU WHAT? 246 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,112 YOU KNOW THAT FRIEND MY SISTER BROUGHT HOME FROM COLLEGE? 247 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,280 THE SLUTTY ONE? 248 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,824 YEAH. THAT ONE. 249 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:07,410 UM... I KISSED HER. 250 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,287 WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? 251 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,414 I... I FEEL GUILTY... 252 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,792 BECAUSE IT WAS, LIKE... 253 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,877 REALLY KISSING. 254 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,005 SO WHAT WE DO ISN'T REALLY KISSING? 255 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,423 I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW, 256 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:24,010 CONSIDERING THAT YOU AND I HAVE A THING. 257 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,348 RIGHT? 258 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,956 WELL, OBVIOUSLY WE DON'T HAVE A THING 259 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:34,229 IF YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND KISSING SLUTTY GIRLS, RIGHT? 260 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,481 OKAY, YOU'RE MAD. 261 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,276 MAD? NOOOO. 262 00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,444 WHY SHOULD I BE MAD? 263 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,863 I MEAN, IN FACT, YOU CAN KISS WHATEVER YOU WANT. 264 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,199 START WITH YOUR OWN BUTT! 265 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,703 WHY ARE YOU HERE? 266 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,915 WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS HERE? 267 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,335 IT'S THANKSGIVING. DON'T YOU HAVE FAMILIES? 268 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,295 UM... UM... 269 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,218 HEY, DONNA, YOU WANNA TALK? 270 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:05,969 [DOOR CLOSES] 271 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,656 I GUESS DONNA DIDN'T TAKE IT VERY WELL. 272 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,389 TAKE WHAT WELL? 273 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,148 ERIC MADE OUT WITH KATE. 274 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,943 ANYTHING ELSE? 275 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,153 YOUR SON IS A WHORE. 276 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,284 ERIC... 277 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,374 NOW, DONNA JUST CAME THROUGH HERE LOOKING VERY UPSET. 278 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,959 WOULD YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT'S ABOUT? 279 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:38,793 I HAVE NO IDEA. 280 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,962 SHE SEEMED FINE WHEN WE... 281 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:41,880 UM, YOU ALREADY KNOW. 282 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,382 OF COURSE I KNOW. 283 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,052 DONNA IS SUCH A SWEET KID. 284 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,597 HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER? 285 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,223 I DON'T KNOW. 286 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,711 YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE BAD THINGS 287 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,268 ARE ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME, 288 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,896 LIKE I HAVE BAD LUCK OR SOMETHING. 289 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:02,191 SON... 290 00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:04,777 YOU DON'T HAVE BAD LUCK. 291 00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,488 THE REASON THAT BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU... 292 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:09,782 IS BECAUSE YOU'RE A DUMB ASS. 293 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,500 NOW, FIX IT. 294 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,672 LOOK, DONNA, UM... 295 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,090 CAN WE TALK? 296 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:26,883 I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALO... 297 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,760 NO. 298 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,470 YOU SHOULD STAY. 299 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,180 WE DON'T HAVE SECRETS IN OUR HOUSE. 300 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,306 WE DON'T SNEAK AROUND ON EACH OTHER 301 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,225 LIKE A LITTLE HORNY RAT KISSING OTHER GIRLS. 302 00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,397 LOOK, DONNA... 303 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:44,525 UM, PLEASE COME TO MY HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING DESSERT. 304 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,320 EVERYONE'S GONNA BE THERE. YOU ALWAYS COME. 305 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:50,114 PLEASE DON'T LET SOME STUPID THING THAT I DID WRECK THAT. 306 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,532 WELL, I CAN'T DEPEND ON YOU, 307 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,868 SO WHY SHOULD YOU BE ABLE TO DEPEND ON ME? 308 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,332 LOOK... 309 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,543 DONNA, PLEASE, OKAY? 310 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,545 I'M REALLY SORRY... 311 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:07,340 AND... I FEEL REALLY BAD. 312 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,759 GOOD! 313 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,058 POOR THING. 314 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,393 MOM! 315 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,560 OH... YOU! 316 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,231 OF COURSE I MEANT YOU. 317 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,943 AS A FOOD EDITOR, I WANTED TO FIND OUT FOR MYSELF 318 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:30,279 JUST WHAT MAKES THE MODERN TURKEY SO GOOD. 319 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,908 AMEN. LET'S EAT. 320 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,316 NOW, IS EVERYTHING ON THE TABLE? 321 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,203 I STILL FEEL LIKE I FORGOT SOMETHING. 322 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:43,292 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 323 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:47,130 OH, MY GOD. I FORGOT YOUR MOTHER. 324 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,674 HELLO, MOTHER FORMAN. 325 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,926 NO. I DIDN'T FORGET YOU. 326 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,762 I DON'T KNOW. THE KIDS LEFT A HALF HOUR AGO TO PICK YOU UP. 327 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,931 I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT'S KEEPING THEM. 328 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,183 PUT THAT BACK! 329 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,061 TOYOTA'S BLOCKING THE CAR, I NEED THE KEYS! 330 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,354 WOULD YOU HOLD ON ONE TEENY-TINY SECOND? 331 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:08,359 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MOVE! 332 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,446 ARE YOU SURE THEY'RE NOT THERE? LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW. 333 00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,656 DO YOU HAVE YOUR GLASSES ON? 334 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,120 WHERE'S YOUR GRANDMA? 335 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,538 SHE'S NOT COMING. 336 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,916 SHE SAID SHE'S GOING TO COUSIN JOEL'S FOR THANKSGIVING. 337 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,502 AH. THAT'S NOT SO BAD. 338 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,049 ACTUALLY, SHE SAID IT WAS A SHAME 339 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:32,216 SHE COULDN'T SPEND WHAT MIGHT BE 340 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,635 HER LAST THANKSGIVING WITH HER FAMILY, 341 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,346 BUT SHE HOPES WE ALL ENJOY OURSELVES. 342 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,098 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 343 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,725 THAT'S JUST FINE. HA HA HA. 344 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,854 I DON'T NEED TO KISS SOME OLD LADY'S A-S-S ON MY HOLIDAY. 345 00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:50,068 YOU HEARD WHAT I SPELLED. 346 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:53,696 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 347 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,281 FORGET IT. 348 00:17:55,449 --> 00:18:03,449 [RING] 349 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,559 OHH... 350 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,401 WHOO. 351 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,028 SO... 352 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:38,574 YOU GIVE AN EMPLOYEE'S DISCOUNT DOWN THERE AT YOUR STORE? 353 00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,409 TWENTY PERCENT. 354 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,120 DOES THAT COVER, UH, ANYTHING, 355 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:47,416 LIKE, OH, SAY, UH, PORTABLE TVs? 356 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,630 OH, HECK, YEAH. 357 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,758 CONGRATULATIONS, BOB. YOU JUST HIRED ME. 358 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,137 GOOD. 359 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,014 I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT, RED. 360 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:05,476 YOU KNOW YOU'LL HAVE TO CALL ME MR. PINCIOTTI AT WORK. 361 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,566 OH, I GOT YOU GOOD THAT TIME. 362 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,654 DONNA, I AM SO GLAD YOU CAME. 363 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,823 I ONLY CAME BECAUSE MY MOM MADE ME, OKAY? 364 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,409 HEY, DONNA, ALL RIGHT, GOOD TO SEE YA. 365 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:22,618 GOT YOU SOME PIE. 366 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,704 I DON'T WANT ANY STUPID PIE. 367 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:27,832 WHAT? I DIDN'T KISS HER. 368 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:36,716 HEY, THERE, BOB. YOU WANT A PIECE OF PIE? 369 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,137 OH, YEAH. 370 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:52,940 HEY, DONNA... 371 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:53,983 OH, DON'T GET ALL TOUGH WITH ME. 372 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,151 YEAH? YEAH! 373 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,986 OKAY. 374 00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,198 NO, LOOK. 375 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,365 WE NEED TO TALK. 376 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,784 I'LL START. GET OUT! 377 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:05,369 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 378 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,329 I ALREADY APOLOGIZED. 379 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,748 YOU JUST WANT TO FORGET ABOUT US 380 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,125 BECAUSE I KISSED SOME GIRL? 381 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,169 WHY'D YOU DO IT? 382 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,088 WELL, I HAVE IT ON PRETTY GOOD AUTHORITY THAT I'M A DUMB ASS. 383 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,719 SO YOU LIKED IT? 384 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,555 YEAH. I LIKED IT. 385 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,807 "NO" WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER ANSWER. 386 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,562 DONNA... 387 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,606 LOOK... 388 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:36,442 THAT KISS WAS GREAT. 389 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,986 AND IF I COULD TAKE IT BACK, I WOULD, 390 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:42,490 BECAUSE IT'S NOT WORTH RUINING WHAT YOU AND I HAVE. 391 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:46,244 ERIC, YOU ARE A DUMB ASS. 392 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:50,373 SO IS THAT LIKE, "I FORGIVE YOU, DUMB ASS"... 393 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:54,794 OR, UM, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU DUMB ASS"? 394 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,546 WELL, MOSTLY THE FIRST ONE. 395 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,564 WOW. 396 00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:17,650 TONGUE. 397 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,069 OH, YEAH. 398 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,282 OKAY, WELL, LET'S GO TO DESSERT. 399 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,576 JUST, UH, ONE SECOND? 400 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,203 DONNA? 401 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,998 JUST... ONE MINUTE. 402 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:36,210 [IN THOUGHT] SILK SHEETS, JOE NAMETH'S BUTT 403 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,337 STRAWBERRIES... 404 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,464 SLOW DANCING... 405 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:41,799 OH... 406 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:45,845 THE WASHING MACHINE WITH AN UNBALANCED LOAD. 407 00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,142 WELL, I'M GOOD. 408 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,394 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING 409 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,042 CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC. 410 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,268 YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ANYBODY ELSE 411 00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:59,275 ABOUT LAST NIGHT, HAVE YOU? 412 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,610 I MEAN, IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING... 413 00:22:01,778 --> 00:22:04,530 I MEAN, FOR ME, NOT YOU. 414 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:08,909 OH, NO KATE, THAT'S OUR LITTLE SECRET. 415 00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:12,163 SO, KATE, YOU AND ERIC, HUH? 416 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,999 LIKE THE GRADUATE, OLDER WOMAN, YOUNGER MAN... 417 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,168 YOU KNOW, IF BREAKING UP COUPLES IS YOUR THING, 418 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,210 YOU CAN DO YOUR THING WITH ME, 419 00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:19,378 'CAUSE I'M... 420 00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:21,255 Jackie: MICHAEL! 421 00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,299 HELLO, KATE. 422 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:25,051 MAY I SEE YOUR GIANT TONGUE? 423 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:29,482 PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE