1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:10,676
♪♪♪

2
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,011
ARE YOU READY?

3
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,345
YES.

4
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,680
OKAY.

5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,015
TOO SLOW.

6
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:17,766
OH, I SEE HOW
THIS GAME IS DONE.

7
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:21,186
NOW MY TURN.

8
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,521
READY?

9
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,856
YEAH.

10
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,358
TOO SLOW.

11
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,777
NO, FEZ, THAT'S NOT
HOW THE GAME WORKS.

12
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,195
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO HIT MY HANDS.

13
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:33,365
TOO SLOW.

14
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:34,700
FRESH COOKIES.

15
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,201
OH, COOL!

16
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,536
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

17
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,538
THEY'RE CAROB,
NATURE'S CHOCOLATE.

18
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,041
OH, OH, COME ON.

19
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,376
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN
IF I HADN'T TOLD YOU.

20
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,879
OH, ERIC, I PICKED OUT
A REALLY SNAZZY OUTFIT

21
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,089
FOR YOU TO WEAR
ON CAREER DAY.

22
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:53,594
OH, THAT'S...
UM, GOODIE.

23
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,387
WELL, FINE, MR. GRUMPY.

24
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,766
BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW OFF
MY LITTLE MAN AT WORK.

25
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,518
YOU KNOW WHAT?
ME NEITHER.

26
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,440
WHY CAREER DAY, MAN?
IT'S SO LAME.

27
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,943
THAT'S JUST 'CAUSE YOUR
MOM'S THE LUNCH LADY.

28
00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:13,739
YOUR MOM IS GROSS EDNA?
EWW!

29
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,076
I MEAN, COOL!

30
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,410
YOU BET IT'S COOL.

31
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,746
THAT'S WHY I'M SPENDING THE DAY
WITH HYDE AND HIS MOM.

32
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,916
RIGHT?

33
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,751
ERIC, I NEED YOU
IN THE GARAGE.

34
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,336
OKAY, LOOK,
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

35
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,088
YOU CAN EXPLAIN
EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID

36
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,422
TO THIS CAR.

37
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,758
OKAY, LOOK,
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

38
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,596
HOLD THE LIGHT STEADY.

39
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,016
HIGHER.

40
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:44,103
NOT IN MY EYES!

41
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,189
DO I LOOK LIKE
THE CARBURETOR?

42
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:51,318
NOT, UM...
NOT IN THIS LIGHT.

43
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,654
THAT'S ONE.

44
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,114
SORRY.

45
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,157
JEEZ, ERIC,
YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

46
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,659
YOU'D THINK THEY'D
TAKE 5 MINUTES

47
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,619
OUT OF TEACHING MACRAMÉ
AND SHOW YOU

48
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,789
HOW TO HOLD A DAMN FLASHLIGHT.

49
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,792
DAD, ISN'T THAT
WHAT COLLEGE IS FOR?

50
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,545
THAT'S TWO.
YOU WANNA GO FOR THREE?

51
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:12,506
GIVE ME THAT.

52
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,384
AH, SEE?
THE DAMN THING IS SHOT.

53
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,802
I NEED A REBUILD KIT.

54
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,179
AH! WE'LL WORK
ON THIS TOMORROW.

55
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,973
UH, DAD,
TOMORROW'S CAREER DAY.

56
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,392
YEAH, WELL,
I'M WORKING HALF DAYS.

57
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,477
I'LL BE HOME BY NOON.

58
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,980
UM... I THINK I'M GONNA
GO TO THE HOSPITAL

59
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,314
WITH MOM.

60
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,649
YEAH?
WHAT FOR?

61
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,152
WELL, IT'S CAREER DAY,
NOT CAREER HALF-DAY.

62
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,486
OKAY, LOOK,
THAT'S NOT THREE!

63
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,614
THAT'S WHAT MY TEACHER SAID.

64
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:41,660
FINE, ERIC.

65
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,746
I'LL, UH, FIX
THE CAR AND...

66
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,999
YOU GO WITH YOUR MOM
AND SEE IF YOU WANT

67
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,419
TO BE A NURSE.

68
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,004
♪♪♪

69
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,674
♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

70
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,344
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

71
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:03,056
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

72
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,518
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

73
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:10,522
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

74
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,859
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

75
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,028
♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪

76
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,697
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS
AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

77
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,658
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

78
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:28,916
♪♪♪

79
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,210
OKAY, SO NOW,
THIS IS MY WARD.

80
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,045
UM, I HAVE TO CHECK
WITH THE NIGHT NURSE.

81
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,047
YOU SAY HI
TO THE GIRLS.

82
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,548
HI, GIRLS.

83
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,259
OH, HI!
YOU MUST BE ERIC.

84
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,303
I RECOGNIZE YOU
FROM ALL THE PICTURES.

85
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:46,350
YOUR FACE HAS
CLEARED UP REAL NICE.

86
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,563
THANKS FOR NOTICING THAT.

87
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,941
YOU KNOW, YOUR MOM DOES
THE WORK OF FIVE NURSES.

88
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,235
THIS PLACE WOULD
FALL APART WITHOUT HER.

89
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,153
AND SHE'S SO FUNNY!

90
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,488
OH, YEAH, SHE IS.

91
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,615
UM, WAIT.
NO, SHE'S NOT.

92
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:05,160
OH, YEAH. AND SHE DRAWS
THESE FUNNY CARTOONS.

93
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,578
SEE?

94
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,122
NOW, I WARN YOU,
IT'S A LITTLE RACY, BUT...

95
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,083
OH... HONEY!

96
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,584
YOU DON'T NEED
TO SEE THAT.

97
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,087
IT'S JUST, UM,
A CERTAIN BODY PART

98
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,630
HAS BEEN SHOVED UP
ANOTHER BODY PART

99
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,423
FOR COMIC EFFECT.

100
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,176
SO, UM, HAVE YOU
MET EVERYBODY?

101
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,845
AH, NURSE FORMAN,
I JUST TALKED TO THE LAB.

102
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,765
WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING DOWN
THAT BLOOD SAMPLE?

103
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,017
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T
GIVE IT TO ME.

104
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,354
I MOST CERTAINLY DID.

105
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,274
WELL, THE NEXT TIME I HAVE
SOMETHING TO GIVE YOU,

106
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,277
YOU TELL ME.

107
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:42,072
WILL DO.

108
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,992
WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?

109
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:49,121
WELL, YOU ALL
KNOW MY THEORY.

110
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,960
EDNA.

111
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,962
STEVEN.

112
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,132
FEZ, THIS IS, UH,
THIS IS MY MOM.

113
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,427
NICE TO MEET YOU,
MRS. GROSS EDNA.

114
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,556
NO, NO, NO, HONEY.
IT'S MISS GROSS EDNA.

115
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:12,686
YOU SEE, MR. GROSS EDNA RAN
OFF WITH MISS PERFECT ASS.

116
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:16,315
BUT SHE CAN LAUGH
ABOUT IT NOW.

117
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,609
YES, SHE CAN
SHUT UP.

118
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,237
WELL, I AM SO
EXCITED TO BE

119
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:26,366
IN THE FOOD SERVICE
INDUSTRY.

120
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,453
MAY I CUT THE CHEESE?

121
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,499
IS HE KIDDING?

122
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,669
WE CAN NEVER TELL.

123
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,421
WELL, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT,

124
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,174
BUT IF YOU CUT OFF A FINGER,
YOU'RE OUTTA HERE.

125
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,343
STEVEN, YOU CAN START
BY SLICING PIZZA.

126
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,678
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I'M HERE AS AN OBSERVER.

127
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:51,224
A FLY ON THE WALL.
ONE OF MANY.

128
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,101
GEE, WHAT A SURPRISE.

129
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,687
LAZY, JUST LIKE
YOUR FATHER.

130
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,856
NO, ACTUALLY,
I'M LAZY IN A WAY

131
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,192
THAT'S ENTIRELY MY OWN.

132
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,944
YOU TWO ARE HILARIOUS.

133
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,696
HERE, PUT THESE ON.

134
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,031
I'M NOT WEARING THESE.

135
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,366
WELL, SORRY.
DON'T BLAME ME.

136
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:11,203
IT'S THE STUPID...
[COUGHING]

137
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,915
IT'S THOSE HEALTH CODES.

138
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,042
MAY I KEEP THESE?

139
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,503
SURE, BABY.

140
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,880
THIS IS SO COOL.

141
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,715
MY DAD'S OFFICE.

142
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,550
MY DAD'S DESK.

143
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:28,220
DAD'S PHONE...
DING, DING.

144
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,888
MY DAD!

145
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,431
OH! OH!

146
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,058
DAD, I LOVE THIS.

147
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,061
YEAH, MICHAEL, THIS IS
WHERE ALL THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

148
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,106
OKAY, LET'S GET STARTED.

149
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,817
QUESTION NUMBER ONE:
WHAT'S YOUR JOB?

150
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,318
I'M SENIOR EXECUTIVE

151
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:47,864
STATISTICAL ANALYSIS
TECHNICIAN.

152
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,076
YOU'RE A SENIOR
EXECU-WHAT?

153
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,287
WELL, IN PLAIN ENGLISH,
I CONCATENATE DIVERSE

154
00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:56,248
STATISTICAL INFORMATION
AND MAXIMIZE

155
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,376
THE POTENTIAL
UTILIZATION OF DATA.

156
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:05,048
SO, YOU GIVE
PEOPLE DATA.

157
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,509
YOU KNOW, A LOT
OF PEOPLE THINK THAT.

158
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,261
NO.

159
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,265
MY JOB'S NOT ABOUT OUTPUT.
IT'S ABOUT THROUGHPUT.

160
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:18,854
SO, YOU THROUGHPUT DATA?

161
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,940
WELL, NOW YOU'VE
LOST ME, SON.

162
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,443
OH, LISTEN, MICHAEL,
YOU KNOW THE 8-TRACKS

163
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:25,777
YOU LOVE SO MUCH?

164
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,112
YOU MAKE THEM!

165
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,447
NO.

166
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,781
BUT BECAUSE OF US,

167
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,492
OTHER PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEM
ARE ABLE TO MAKE THEM BETTER.

168
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,328
SO YOU FIX STUFF.

169
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:38,165
YOU COULD SAY THAT.

170
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:42,169
BUT I WOULDN'T.

171
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,300
YOU PICKED A GOOD DAY
TO DO THIS, DONNA.

172
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,469
WE'RE STARTIN' A 3-DAY
PROMOTIONAL SALE.

173
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:56,141
YOU'LL FINALLY GET TO SEE
WHY THEY CALL ME BARGAIN BOB.

174
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,978
YEAH, DAD, 'CAUSE THAT'S
BEEN A REAL STUMPER.

175
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,481
OOH, YOU'RE SUCH A CUTIE.

176
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:03,857
WELL, YOU KEEP
YOUR EYES PEELED

177
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,984
AND YOUR PENCIL SHARP,
BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA LEARN

178
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,487
HOW A SERIOUS
BUSINESSMAN OPERATES.

179
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:12,282
OH, GOOD.
THE CLOWNS ARE HERE.

180
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,995
OH, HELLO, MR. FORMAN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?

181
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:21,458
THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE ONLY
WORKING PART-TIME.

182
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,877
IF IT MAKES YOU
FEEL ANY BETTER,

183
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:27,464
MY DAD FEELS REALLY,
REALLY SORRY FOR YOU.

184
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,426
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE AT CAREER DAY?

185
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,261
NO, I'M A SOPHOMORE.

186
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,847
I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T
KNOW THAT ABOUT ME.

187
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,560
RIGHT.
MY MISTAKE.

188
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:41,937
UH, LISTEN,
WHILE YOU'RE HERE,

189
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,271
WHY DON'T YOU HOLD
THIS FLASHLIGHT

190
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,149
ON THAT CARBURETOR
THERE?

191
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,860
LIKE THIS?

192
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,988
♪♪♪

193
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,743
MY GOD!

194
00:08:56,911 --> 00:09:00,038
ONE OF YOU
IS NOT USELESS.

195
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,043
(MALE TV ANNOUNCER)
A WORLD OF CAREERS
IS WAITING FOR YOU.

196
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,712
TALK TO YOUR
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR TODAY.

197
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,257
THESE PEOPLE ARE READY FOR
THE JOBS OF TOMORROW.

198
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,758
ARE YOU?

199
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,134
GOOD MORNING.
THIS IS MY SON.

200
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,553
HE'S MAKING
MY ROUNDS WITH ME.

201
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,555
NOW, YOU LET ME KNOW
IF THIS GETS TO BE

202
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:17,889
TOO MUCH FOR YOU.

203
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,724
OKAY, MOM, I THINK
THAT I CAN HANDLE IT...

204
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,519
OH, GOOD GOD!
WHAT IS THAT?!

205
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:29,359
REMEMBER THIS THE NEXT TIME
YOU WANT TO SKATEBOARD.

206
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,412
I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.

207
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:47,460
OH, I HAVE SOME
GOOD NEWS.

208
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,466
[WOMAN GROANING]

209
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,302
OKAY NOW, PUSH!

210
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:56,970
OW! MA'AM, YOU'RE HURTING ME!

211
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,139
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!

212
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,682
OKAY.

213
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,227
[SCREAMING]

214
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,482
ALL RIGHT.

215
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:12,944
THIS IS THE PERFORMANCE INDEX
BEFORE MY INVOLVEMENT.

216
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:18,700
AND THIS...
IS AFTER.

217
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:23,121
OKAY, OKAY, SO YOU'RE
RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.

218
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,623
YOU CAN'T CREDIT ME
WITH THAT.

219
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:29,461
THAT'S PROBABLY
A STATISTICAL ANOMALY.

220
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:33,131
BUT YOU MADE
THE CHART, RIGHT?

221
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:38,136
I WISH!

222
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,764
SO DO I!

223
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,020
OKAY, QUESTION NUMBER THREE:

224
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:52,067
WAS THE FOOD SERVICE INDUSTRY
YOUR FIRST CAREER CHOICE?

225
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,818
HECK NO, FEZ.

226
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,029
I ALWAYS WANTED
TO GO INTO SHOW BIZ.

227
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,365
IN FACT, I WAS IN
THE TOMMY BARTLETT

228
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,659
WATER SHOW AT
THE WISCONSIN DELLS.

229
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:04,996
YES! WOMEN WATER-SKIING
IN BIKINIS.

230
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:08,750
VERY EROTIC.

231
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,170
ANYWAY, I WAS
THE TOP GIRL

232
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,505
ON THE PYRAMID.

233
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,050
AND THEY FIRED ME
FOR GETTIN' KNOCKED UP.

234
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,346
LET ME FINISH
THIS ONE FOR YA, EDNA.

235
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,182
FEZ, THIS IS THE STORY WHERE
I RUIN MY MOTHER'S FABULOUS

236
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,850
WATER-SKIING CAREER.

237
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,185
YEAH, WELL, YOU DID.

238
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,520
THEY SAID THAT
A PREGNANT GIRL

239
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,357
ON WATER SKIS WOULD MAKE
THE AUDIENCE NERVOUS.

240
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:36,569
NOT TO MENTION, YOU WERE
PROBABLY HIDEOUSLY FAT.

241
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,738
HEY, NO, NO, NO.
I LOOKED GREAT.

242
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:41,908
I KEPT MY WEIGHT DOWN
BY SMOKING.

243
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,703
SEE, THAT'S THAT MATERNAL
INSTINCT KICKING IN AGAIN.

244
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,371
HEY, YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT
I'M MATERNAL.

245
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,872
I RAISED YOU ALONE.

246
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,541
ALONE?
HARDLY.

247
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,253
THERE WAS "UNCLE" CHET
AND "UNCLE" LARRY AND...

248
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:56,256
OH, YEAH,
"UNCLE" HOT TUB JOHNNY.

249
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,133
I SUPPOSE I SHOULD
HAVE JUST BECOME A NUN

250
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,551
WHEN YOUR FATHER
WALKED OUT ON ME.

251
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,553
HELL, HE MUST HAVE BEEN
CRAZY TO LEAVE ALL THIS.

252
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,055
ALWAYS A SMART ASS, STEVEN,
JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER.

253
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,390
YOU KNOW WHAT?

254
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,100
ONE THING HE DID DO RIGHT?
HE LEFT!

255
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,476
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S RIGHT, STEVEN!

256
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:09,811
JUST WALK!

257
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:13,106
JUST LIKE
EVERYONE ELSE!

258
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,943
OKAY, QUESTION NUMBER FOUR:

259
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:21,030
WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE
A PEOPLE PERSON?

260
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:30,749
♪♪♪

261
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,417
COME ON, JACKIE, HARDER!

262
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,085
COME ON!
GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!

263
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,420
YEAH!

264
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,590
OH, I DID IT!
AAH!

265
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,258
I'M CHANGING A TIRE!

266
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,261
I FEEL LIKE
NANCY DREW!

267
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,430
WELL, A GIRL NEEDS
TO KNOW WHAT TO DO

268
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,765
IN AN EMERGENCY.

269
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,099
I'M SURPRISED
THAT YOUR FATHER

270
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,769
HASN'T TAUGHT YOU THIS ALREADY.

271
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,813
YEAH, WELL, DADDY
WORKS REALLY HARD,

272
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,983
SO HE DOESN'T SPEND
A LOT OF TIME WITH ME.

273
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,778
BUT HE DID PROMISE ME
A MUSTANG FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

274
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,947
SO I LOVE HIM.

275
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:09,162
YOU KNOW, JACKIE, I'VE BEEN
A FATHER A LONG TIME.

276
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:13,458
SO TRUST ME
WHEN I TELL YA THIS.

277
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,543
THE MUSTANG'S FRONT END
IS PROBLEMATIC.

278
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,670
GET YOURSELF A FIREBIRD.

279
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,465
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S START MR. HARRIS

280
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,884
ON A FULL COURSE
OF PENICILLIN.

281
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,469
OH, UM, DOCTOR,

282
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,971
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
CONSIDER ERYTHROMYCIN.

283
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:30,975
AND WHY WOULD I WANT
TO DO THAT, NURSE?

284
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,561
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT, UH,
MR. HARRIS IS ALLERGIC

285
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,313
TO PENICILLIN,

286
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,649
AND I THOUGHT ERYTHROMYCIN
MIGHT MAKE HIM

287
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:41,319
A TOUCH LESS DEAD.

288
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,154
I KNOW THAT WHEN
I GO TO THE HOSPITAL,

289
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,366
I LIKE TO NOT DIE.

290
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:53,206
OKAY...

291
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:59,045
DO YOU HAVE...
CUSTOMERS?

292
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,839
NO, THEY'RE MORE
LIKE CLIENTS.

293
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,173
BUT YOU HAVE CLIENTS.

294
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,508
SORT OF.

295
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,843
AND YOU PROVIDE THEM
A PRODUCT?

296
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,177
IT'S MORE LIKE A SERVICE.

297
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,512
WELL, NOT...

298
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,516
TO MAXIMIZE THE POTENTIAL
UTILIZATION OF THE DATA.

299
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,811
IF WE DID THAT,
WE'D GO OUT OF BUSINESS.

300
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,738
HEY, RED.
IS FORMAN AROUND?

301
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:29,033
NO, HE'S WITH HIS MOM
FOR CAREER DAY.

302
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,451
WHICH IS WHERE
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.

303
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:31,870
WHAT'S THE DEAL?

304
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,204
OH, MAN.

305
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,373
EDNA'S RIDING ME AGAIN ABOUT
BEING JUST LIKE MY DAD,

306
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,793
SO I JUST TOOK OFF.

307
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:42,046
DIDN'T YOUR DAD,
EH, TAKE OFF?

308
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,675
HMM, IRONY.
FAR OUT.

309
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,555
LOOK, YOU AND YOUR MOM
HAVE A BAD HISTORY.

310
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:55,560
AND NEITHER OF YOU CAN NURTURE
THE OTHER'S SELF-ESTEEM

311
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,313
BECAUSE YOU'VE BOTH BEEN
DAMAGED BY PAST CRITICISM

312
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,566
OR SHAME.

313
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,279
ARE YOU OKAY?

314
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:11,034
I'M WORKING HALF-DAYS,
SO I WATCH A LOT OF DONAHUE.

315
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,541
I'M NOT SURE, BUT I THINK
I FOUND THE U-JOINTS.

316
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,169
GOD BLESS YOU, JACKIE.

317
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,130
OKAY, I'M GOING BACK IN.

318
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,933
WILL SOMEONE HELP ME
GET MR. ANDERSON

319
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,267
ON THE GURNEY, PLEASE?

320
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:37,769
OH, I'LL GIVE YOU
A HAND, MOM.

321
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,437
OKAY.

322
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,772
SO WHAT'S WRONG
WITH HIM?

323
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,106
HE'S DEAD.

324
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:45,276
OH MY GOODNESS!

325
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:48,446
WHAT?!

326
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,115
DIDN'T WE JUST SEE THIS GUY
A HALF AN HOUR AGO?

327
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,326
OH, UM, HONEY,
HE WAS DEAD THEN.

328
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:57,121
I JUST... I DIDN'T HAVE
THE HEART TO TELL YOU.

329
00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,875
I'M SO SORRY YOU DIDN'T
GET A CHANCE TO MEET HIM.

330
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,294
WAIT, MR. ANDERSON.

331
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,463
ISN'T THIS THE GUY YOU ALWAYS
TALKED ABOUT AT DINNER?

332
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,131
THE GUY WHOSE DAUGHTER
JUST GOT MARRIED?

333
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,633
YEAH, YEAH.

334
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,968
HE JUST SHOWED ME
THE PICTURES.

335
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,512
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING.

336
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,473
I'M GONNA MISS HIM.

337
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,892
SO... OKAY,
YOU GRAB THAT END,

338
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,686
AND LET'S GET MOVING.

339
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:22,981
WE HAVE TO SERVE DINNER
IN 20 MINUTES.

340
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,695
AND THEN WE LOOK
AT THE KEl-SQUARED HERE,

341
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,740
APPLY THE STANDARD
DEVIATION HERE...

342
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:34,242
AND CORRELATE
THE RESULTS

343
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,870
WITH THE ACTUALIZATION
MEDIAN HERE,

344
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:42,000
AND THAT IS WHAT I DO.

345
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:47,130
AND I CAN'T MAKE IT
ANY CLEARER THAN THAT.

346
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:57,056
I'M JUST GONNA SAY
YOU'RE A FARMER.

347
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,897
[WHISTLING]
TWEET! TWEET!

348
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,233
OKAY, THE NEXT QUESTION:

349
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,861
WHAT HAS THIS JOB
TAUGHT YOU?

350
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,489
ONE THING I'VE LEARNED,
MIDGETS MAKE MONEY.

351
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,200
I DON'T KNOW WHY,

352
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:20,455
BUT PEOPLE SEE A MIDGET,
THEY WANT TO BUY A BLENDER.

353
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:24,000
I GUESS IT REMINDS THEM
THAT LIFE IS SHORT.

354
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,544
AH, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

355
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,590
WRITE, WRITE,
WRITE, WRITE, WRITE.

356
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,216
[DONNA THINKING TO SELF]
MARKETING'S IMPORTANT.

357
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,385
KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER.

358
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,138
HEY, THAT'S NOT
WHAT I SAID.

359
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,307
NONE OF THIS
IS WHAT I SAID.

360
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,100
WELL, SURE IT IS, DAD.

361
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,394
I MEAN, I JUST CLEANED UP
THE LANGUAGE A BIT

362
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:47,065
TO MAKE YOU SOUND
MORE DIGNIFIED.

363
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,733
DIGNIFIED?

364
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,234
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

365
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,569
YOU'RE EMBARRASSED
BY ME?

366
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,363
WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE
THAT'S EMBARRASSING?

367
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,409
JUST LOOK AROUND.

368
00:17:58,577 --> 00:17:59,744
ALL RIGHT.

369
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,746
LET ME TELL YOU
WHAT I SEE.

370
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,081
YOU SEE CLOWNS,

371
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,083
I SEE YOUR TUITION
AT HARVARD.

372
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,751
YOU SEE YOUR DAD
AS A RINGMASTER,

373
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,461
I SEE YOU GOING
TO GRAD SCHOOL.

374
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,755
YOU SEE A CHIMPANZEE
IN A TUTU...

375
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,883
OKAY, THAT JUST
MAKES ME LAUGH.

376
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,428
THE CHIMP IS CUTE.

377
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:21,891
THE POINT IS, DONNA, YOU'RE
CAPABLE OF GREAT THINGS.

378
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,774
AND IF THIS IS WHAT
I HAVE TO DO

379
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,112
SO YOU CAN ACHIEVE THEM,
THEN THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

380
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:42,286
AW, JEEZ, DAD...
I FEEL REALLY BAD.

381
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,621
HEY, HEY.

382
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:47,792
NOBODY FEELS REALLY BAD
AROUND BARGAIN BOB.

383
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,920
UNLESS YOU GET BIT
BY A MONKEY.

384
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,798
[SINGING ALONG WITH RADIO]
♪ BAD, BAD ♪

385
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,341
♪ BLOOD, BLOOD ♪

386
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,052
♪ IS TAKIN' YOU
FOR A RIDE ♪

387
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,972
♪ THE ONLY GOOD THING
ABOUT BAD BLOOD ♪

388
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,809
♪ IS LETTIN' IT SLIDE ♪

389
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,477
HOW CAN YOU SING WHEN
YOU'RE ALWAYS AROUND

390
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,146
THE SICK AND DYING?

391
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:14,652
♪ DO-RUN, DO-RUN,
DO-DO-DO-DO-RUN-RUN ♪

392
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,197
I MEAN, POOR MR. ANDERSON,
YOU KNEW THIS GUY, MOM!

393
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:19,824
HOW DO YOU DEAL
WITH ALL THIS?

394
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,492
♪ HERE WE GO NOW ♪

395
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,910
♪ BAD ♪
♪ BAD ♪

396
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,495
♪ BLOOD ♪
♪ BLOOD ♪

397
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:27,081
♪ THE BITCH IS
IN HER SMILE ♪

398
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,667
♪ THE LIE IS ON HER LIPS ♪

399
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,713
♪ SUCH AN EVIL CHILD ♪

400
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,673
[MUSIC ON RADIO]
♪ BAD ♪
♪ BAD ♪

401
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,258
♪ BLOOD ♪
♪ BLOOD ♪

402
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,178
♪ IS TAKIN' YOU FOR A RIDE ♪

403
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:43,264
♪ THE ONLY GOOD THING
ABOUT BAD BLOOD ♪

404
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,891
♪ IS LETTIN' IT SLIDE ♪

405
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:46,684
WHOA-HO-HO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

406
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,937
THROWING OUT
THE DISGUSTING USED MEAT.

407
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:51,355
NO, NO, NO, SWEETIE.

408
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:55,985
YOU GOT TO TOSS THAT
IN THE CHILI BUCKET.

409
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,237
THE CHILI BUCKET?

410
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:00,031
I THOUGHT THAT WAS
THE GARBAGE.

411
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,449
OH NO.

412
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,867
HAVE YOU THROWN
A LOT IN THERE?

413
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,869
SOME.

414
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,455
WELL, THOSE THINGS JUST
BREAK DOWN IN THERE.

415
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,874
IT'LL BE FINE.

416
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:12,877
HI.

417
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,379
STEVEN, YOU CAME BACK.

418
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,216
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
THAT MEANS TO ME.

419
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,550
OH YEAH?

420
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,385
YEAH.

421
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,221
HONEY, COULD YOU CLEAN OUT
THOSE PIZZA TRAYS?

422
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,765
I'M GONNA SKIP OUT EARLY.

423
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,728
MMM, GUESS WHAT I DID
IN THE CHILI BUCKET.

424
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,522
GO AHEAD.
GUESS.

425
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,401
UH, STEVEN, I'M SORRY.

426
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,238
I'M NOT BEING
A VERY GOOD MOM, AM I?

427
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,906
NO.

428
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,075
ALL RIGHT,
I GOT A BETTER IDEA.

429
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,244
LET'S DO SOMETHING
TOGETHER.

430
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,080
COME ON.
I'LL BUY YA A BEER.

431
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:56,170
A BEER?

432
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,464
WELL, YEAH, THAT ACTUALLY
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

433
00:20:58,632 --> 00:20:59,799
GOT YOUR FAKE ID?

434
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,133
YOU KNOW IT!

435
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,261
THAT'S MY BOY!

436
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:10,434
♪ BABY, BABY, BABY,
BABY, BABY, OOOH ♪

437
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:14,814
AUTUMN IS HARVEST TIME
FOR THE FARMER.

438
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:17,149
AT DAWN, MY DAD AND I
WERE OUT IN THE FIELD

439
00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:20,403
PICKING CARROTS FRESH
OFF THE TREES.

440
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,285
KELSO, CARROTS DON'T...

441
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:30,579
THAT'S GOOD.
YOU SHOULD PUT THAT DOWN.

442
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,959
SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANNA DO
WHEN YOU GRADUATE?

443
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,544
OH, UM...

444
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,463
NOT TOUCH
DEAD PEOPLE, EVER.

445
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,008
I WANT TO GO BACK
TO MY HOMELAND

446
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:45,177
WITH ALL THE KNOWLEDGE I'VE
LEARNED HERE IN WISCONSIN

447
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:49,181
AND RULE WITH AN IRON FIST!

448
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:52,393
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS
AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

449
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:56,105
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

450
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,566
HEY, DAD.

451
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,027
HEY, UM... JACKIE?

452
00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,154
HEY, ERIC.
HOW WAS CAREER DAY?

453
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,323
IT WAS GOOD.
I LEARNED A LOT.

454
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,159
GOOD, NOW YOU'RE GONNA
LEARN SOMETHING ELSE.

455
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:11,329
JACKIE'S GOING TO TEACH YOU
HOW TO HOLD A FLASHLIGHT.

456
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:12,830
JACKIE?

457
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,875
YEAH, I'VE FINALLY FOUND
ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS I LIKE.

458
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:18,502
BUT JACKIE ISN'T REALLY
ONE OF MY FRIENDS.

459
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,629
THAT'S ONE.

460
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,510
THAT'S HOW YOU DO THAT.

461
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:29,305
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE