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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE
BY CARSEY-WERNER
AND FOX BROADCASTING

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[Deep Voice]
YEP, THAT'S RIGHT.

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100 BAGS OF MANURE.

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YEAH, THE WIFE AND I ARE
REDOING THE FRONT LAWN,

5
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,727
AND, UH, TELL YOU WHAT,
IF I'M NOT THERE,

6
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JUST DUMP IT ALL
ON THE FRONT PORCH.

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BYE-BYE.

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YEAH, MAN.
COACH JEFFERSON IS GONNA FREAK.

9
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YEAH, WELL, HE JUST SHOULDN'T
HAVE GIVEN ME THAT "D."

10
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OH, NO. DICK TRACY'S
TRAPPED IN A GIANT CLAM.

11
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FAREWELL, SWEET DICK.

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A MAN BEING EATEN
BY A GIANT CLAM.

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NOW, I'M NOT
SIGMUND FREUD, BUT...

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ERIC,

15
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THE OMEN'S PLAYING
AT THE DRIVE-IN.

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YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS MEANS FOR US?

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IT'S MAKE-OUT CITY.

18
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I REALLY LIKE YOU
AS A FRIEND, KELSO...

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CAN I BRING A GIRL?

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YEAH.

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MAN, IT'S GONNA
BE GREAT.

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HORROR MOVIES TURN ON
CHICKS FASTER THAN PORNO.

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REALLY?
FASTER THAN THAT?

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YEAH, IF ONLY SOMEBODY WOULD
MAKE A PORNO HORROR MOVIE.

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OH, YEAH. THEN THERE'D BE
NO STOPPING YOU.

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ERIC,

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IS THAT KID FROM, UH,
NOT AMERICA DOWN HERE?

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DAD, IT'S FEZ.

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YEAH, WHATEVER.

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THE ERDMANS CALLED,
AND THEY...

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THEY WANT HIM TO...

32
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GO HOME.

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KELSO, STOP SAYING
"PORNO."

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I DIDN'T SAY IT,
MR. FORMAN. FEZ DID.

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YOU ARE A BITCH.

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♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

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♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

38
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♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

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♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

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♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

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♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

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♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪♪

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Steven:
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

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OKAY, YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS IS, RED?

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SOME LADY MAGAZINE.

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IT'S COSMO.

47
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OH, MY...

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I'M GONNA TELL YOU
SOMETHING, RED.

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I JUST TOOK THE "HOW SPONTANEOUS
IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP" QUIZ,

50
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AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

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WHAT?

52
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WE GOT 3
OUT OF 10...

53
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,092
AND I CHEATED.

54
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GEE, I, UH,

55
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I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
THAT YOU'RE POUTING.

56
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OH, NO, NO.
I'M NOT POUTING.

57
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THAT WOULD UPSET
OUR ROUTINE.

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GOD KNOWS I WOULDN'T WANT
TO MOVE IN A NEW DIRECTION

59
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AND ACCIDENTALLY SLIP IN
A PUDDLE OF FUN OR ANYTHING.

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OKAY.

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HERE'S A THOUGHT:

62
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HOW ABOUT YOU AND I

63
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TREAT OURSELVES
TO A NIGHT OUT?

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JUST THE TWO OF US.

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WELL, THAT'D BE
GREAT, RED.

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WE'LL GO TO PHILLIES.

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PHILLIES, HUH?

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SO YOU'LL HAVE
THE SALISBURY STEAK,

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AND I'LL HAVE
THE BAKED CHICKEN. AGAIN.

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WELL, MAYBE I WON'T HAVE
THE SALISBURY STEAK.

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I ENJOY THEIR HAM.

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OH, HAM.
WELL, OKAY.

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THEN I CAN CHANGE
ONE ANSWER ON THE QUIZ.

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SO, OKAY, WE HAVE
4 OUT OF 10.

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WE HAVE MOVED UP FROM

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"PREDICTABLE AS THE TIDES"
TO "HUMDRUM."

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HA HA HA HA.

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I'LL JUST GO CHANGE.

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DAMN COSMO.

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WHOO.

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SON, WHEN WE
TOOK YOU IN

82
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AS AN EXCHANGE
STUDENT,

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YOU BECAME
OUR RESPONSIBILITY,

84
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AND WE'RE CONCERNED
ABOUT THIS GANG OF RUFFIANS

85
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YOU HANG OUT WITH.

86
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THEY ARE MY FRIENDS.

87
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THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
THEY WANT YOU TO THINK.

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NOW, WE'RE NOT
INFLEXIBLE.

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I MEAN, WE LOOKED
THE OTHER WAY

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WHEN YOU STARTED
WEARING COLOGNE...

91
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BUT NOW...

92
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YOU'VE BROUGHT THE DEVIL'S
MUSIC INTO OUR HOME.

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OH, NO, THAT IS NOT
THE DEVIL'S MUSIC.

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IT IS ERIC'S.

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REBECCA,
SHOW THE BOY.

96
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,841
NOW LISTEN TO WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN SHE PLAYS IT BACKWARDS.

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[DISTORTED MUSIC]

98
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:08,056
THAT CANNOT BE GOOD
FOR THE RECORD.

99
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:12,060
THERE IT IS.
"DEVIL LOVE ME."

100
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"DEVIL LIVES."
IT'S CLEAR AS DAY.

101
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WHAT'S FUNNY?

102
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IN MY LANGUAGE,
THAT RECORD JUST SAID,

103
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"I WANT TO SEX
YOUR MONKEY."

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WHICH I HAVE NEVER DONE.

105
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SO, DONNA,
I WAS THINKING, UH,

106
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WE SHOULD GO SEE
A MOVIE TONIGHT.

107
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OH, COOL.
I'D LOVE TO SEE

108
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ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN.

109
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OH.

110
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WELL, I ACTUALLY HEAR
THAT ISN'T VERY GOOD.

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OH.

112
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YEAH.

113
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HEY, UH, I WAS THINKING
MAYBE THE OMEN.

114
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ISN'T THAT
AT THE DRIVE-IN?

115
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IS THAT AT THE...

116
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YEAH, NO, I GUESS IT IS.

117
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SO DO YOU WANT TO GO?

118
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TONIGHT?

119
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UM,

120
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YEAH, SURE.

121
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Announcer:
WHEN THE CHILD
WAS 5 YEARS OLD...

122
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SOMETHING TERRIBLE
HAPPENED.

123
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THE TRUTH.
WHERE DOES IT END?

124
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THE OMEN?

125
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,471
THAT'S AT THE DRIVE-IN.

126
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,640
I KNOW. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.

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I MEAN, I REALLY
LIKE ERIC,

128
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,394
AND I'D LIKE TO HAVE
A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP, BUT...

129
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IT'S CALLED MAKE-OUT,
DONNA.

130
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SAY IT.

131
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ALL RIGHT. MAKE-OUT.

132
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BUT I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE PUBLIC.

133
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I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE TACKY.

134
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I DON'T WANT THERE
TO BE PRESSURE,

135
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:50,826
AND NOW IT'S THIS
TACKY, PUBLIC,

136
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,954
PRESSURE
MAKE-OUT THING.

137
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I UNDERSTAND. EVERYBODY
WANTS THEIR FIRST MAKE-OUT

138
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TO BE SPECIAL AND
SOMEPLACE ROMANTIC,

139
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LIKE IRELAND
OR DISNEY WORLD.

140
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,884
DISNEY WORLD?

141
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,010
RIGHT, SORRY.

142
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,554
SO, LET'S FOCUS.

143
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,889
HE ASKED YOU
TO THE DRIVE-IN.

144
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DONNA SAY YES?

145
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:15,684
AND YOU SAID YES?

146
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,436
YES.
YES.

147
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,562
YES. OH, THIS IS GREAT.

148
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:19,563
ME AND JACKIE
WILL COME WITH YOU.

149
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NO.

150
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,189
WILL YOU
COME WITH US?

151
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:21,857
WHY?

152
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,024
WHY NOT?

153
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,276
WELL, YOU'D BE
LIKE COMPETITION.

154
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,777
YOU'D BE
LIKE A LOOPHOLE.

155
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:26,987
COMPETITION?
LOOPHOLE?

156
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,613
YEAH, I'D HAVE TO KEEP UP
WITH YOU AND JACKIE,

157
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,823
AND THAT WOULD
MAKE ME NERVOUS.

158
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,450
I COULD ALWAYS TALK TO YOU
IF I GET NERVOUS,

159
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'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT TO BE BORED
WITH SEX BY NOW.

160
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Kelso and Jackie:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

161
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Eric and Donna:
YOU GUYS HAVE DONE IT,
LIKE, A MILLION TIMES.

162
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TRUE.

163
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,462
WE HAVE NEVER
DONE IT.

164
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,549
YEAH. SLID IN TO HOME
ON THE SECOND DATE.

165
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:48,717
WE GOT
TO THIRD BASE ONCE,

166
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,844
AND THAT
WAS AN ACCIDENT.

167
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,221
WHATEVER.
WHATEVER.

168
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,056
DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL BE THERE.

169
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:56,600
FINE. WE WON'T GO.

170
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,560
PERFECT.
THANKS.

171
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,062
TV:
♪ NEW RICE-A-RONI ♪

172
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,315
♪ THE SAN FRANCISCO
TREAT ♪

173
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,401
♪ NEW RICE... ♪♪

174
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,861
OKAY, NOW, SEE?

175
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:08,987
THIS DRESS SAYS,

176
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:13,450
"LOOK AT ME, NOTICE ME,
STARE AT ME."

177
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IT'S ALL WRONG.

178
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,786
NO, YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

179
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,330
ESPECIALLY FOR DINNER
AT THE LION'S HEAD.

180
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:22,334
NO. IT'S NO GOOD.
I... WHAT?

181
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,126
THE LION'S HEAD?

182
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,337
I THOUGHT
WE WERE GOING TO PHILLIES.

183
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:30,300
WELL, I, UH,
CHANGED MY MIND.

184
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:34,387
WELL,
YOU NEVER DO THAT.

185
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,848
THE LION'S HEAD.

186
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,767
IT IS SO FANCY.

187
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:43,188
THEY MAKE THE BUTTER LOOK
LIKE LITTLE FLOWERS.

188
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,732
YEAH, YEAH,
AND IT'S DIFFERENT.

189
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,776
I MEAN, HELL, WE HAVEN'T
BEEN THERE IN YEARS.

190
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,027
IT'LL BE FUN.

191
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,737
OH, OH.

192
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,072
THIS IS SO EXCITING.

193
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,991
OH, OH.

194
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,618
OKAY, NOW, IF WE
ARE GOING TO GO

195
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:57,953
TO SOMEPLACE
THAT FANCY,

196
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,079
I HAVE TO SHAVE YOUR NECK.

197
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,165
I'LL GET THE CLIPPERS,
YOU HOP IN THE TUB.

198
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,130
I AM TELLING YOU.

199
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,800
I HEARED IT.

200
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,344
THE DEVIL IS SINGING
BACKWARDS ON THE RECORD.

201
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,057
IT'S NOT THE DEVIL, MAN.

202
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,393
IT'S CONGRESS.

203
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,602
THEY PASSED
A SECRET LAW

204
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:26,731
TO PUT BACKWARD MESSAGES
IN OUR RECORDS, MAN.

205
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,733
THEY WANT TO KILL
ROCK 'N' ROLL

206
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:32,195
BECAUSE THEY KNOW
IT MAKES US HORNY, MAN.

207
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,240
DOESN'T, UH,

208
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,868
DOESN'T PRETTY MUCH
EVERYTHING MAKE US HORNY?

209
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:44,416
CARTOONS MAKE ME HORNY.

210
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,962
OH, AND... AND FOOD.

211
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,672
WHEN YOU PLAY
THE RECORD BACKWARDS,

212
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,508
YOU CAN HEAR
THE DEVIL SPEAK.

213
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:58,888
I AM STARTING TO HEAR
HIM EVERYWHERE. AAH.

214
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:03,518
[SPEAKING BACKWARDS]

215
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,353
[AS ONE POSSESSED]
SATAN IS YOUR MASTER, FEZ.

216
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:08,565
WORSHIP SATAN.

217
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,900
[WHIMPERS]

218
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:12,444
BUT BEFORE YOU
WORSHIP SATAN,

219
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,154
GET HIM A CHERRY POP.

220
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:18,617
GET SATAN A CHERRY POP.

221
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,578
COME ON, MAN,
GET ME A POP.

222
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:25,790
FEZ, MAN,
GET ME A POP.

223
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,002
OH, I'M SORRY.
I MISUNDERSTOOD.

224
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:32,005
SATAN'S SECOND CHOICE
IS ROOT BEER.

225
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,761
AY-YI.

226
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:49,064
WERNER, PARTY OF TWO.

227
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,151
RED?

228
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,445
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

229
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,490
EXCUSE ME.

230
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,200
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE LION'S HEAD?

231
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,327
BURNED DOWN.
FIVE DEAD. REAL SAD.

232
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,244
WELCOME
TO BLANNIGAN'S.

233
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,664
MAY I TAKE
YOUR NAME?

234
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,083
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.

235
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,794
WELL, WHAT DO
YOU THINK?

236
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:14,339
WELL, UM,
IT CERTAINLY IS DIFFERENT.

237
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,757
MIGHT NOT BE
SO BAD.

238
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,052
ON YOUR LEFT,
SPARKY.

239
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,095
WELL, UM,

240
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,514
THE STAFF IS CERTAINLY
ENTHUSIASTIC.

241
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,974
I'M SURE I CAN GET US
A NICE QUIET TABLE.

242
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,852
♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪
[HONK HONK HONK]

243
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,105
♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪
[HONK HONK]

244
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,982
♪ TO YOU ♪♪
[HONK]

245
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,070
I'LL PUT OUR NAME
ON THE LIST.

246
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:42,701
[CLEARING THROAT]
FORMAN. PARTY OF TWO.

247
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,662
OKEY-DOKEY. THAT'LL
BE ABOUT 2 HOURS.

248
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,208
HERE'S 20 BUCKS.

249
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,669
ALL RIGHT. WE'LL HAVE
SOMETHING IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

250
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,715
YOU DON'T WANT THIS PLACE
TO BURN DOWN TWICE, DO YOU?

251
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,803
ALL RIGHT.
WE HAVE SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

252
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,888
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

253
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,850
WELL, SWEETHEART,
THIS IS OUR LUCKY NIGHT.

254
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:08,810
OH, UH, WOULD YOU
CHECK THIS?

255
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,353
SURE.

256
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,605
LOOKS REAL GOOD.

257
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,276
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

258
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,737
UM,
MAYBE I SHOULD, UH,

259
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,780
GO BACK TO MY HOUSE
AND POP SOME POPCORN,

260
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:24,200
'CAUSE... THEY
ALWAYS OVERCHARGE.

261
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,036
JACKIE AND KELSO.

262
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,747
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?

263
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,999
NOTHING. WHAT ARE YOU
GUYS DOING HERE?

264
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,585
DONNA AND I
ARE GOING TO THE DRIVE-IN.

265
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,753
REMEMBER?

266
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,297
THANK YOU, ERIC.
WE'D LOVE TO GO.

267
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:38,757
MICHAEL,
GET IN THE CAR.

268
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:39,507
BUT, I...
DON'T...

269
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,177
GET IN THE CAR.

270
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,182
AHEM.

271
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:50,018
LOOK, THIS ISN'T WHAT
WE TALKED ABOUT AT ALL.

272
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,896
L-I'M SORRY, MAN.

273
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,106
I'LL TAKE IT SLOW.

274
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,233
TRY TO KEEP UP.

275
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:01,905
WHOO-HOO!
GOING TO THE DRIVE-IN.

276
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,999
HELLO, I'M GUY,
AND I'LL BE YOUR WAITER.

277
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,209
WOULD EITHER OF YOU
LIKE TO HELP YOURSELF

278
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:17,045
TO OUR BLANNIGANTASTIC
SALAD BAR?

279
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,340
WHAT'S A SALAD BAR?

280
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,800
OH, IT'S RIGHT
OVER THERE.

281
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,636
ALL THE SALAD FIXINGS,

282
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,180
AND YOU MAKE YOUR OWN
BLANNIGANTASTIC SALAD.

283
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:31,643
YOU MEAN MY WIFE
HAS TO MAKE HER OWN SALAD?

284
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,062
IT'LL BE WORTH
THE TRIP.

285
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,146
YOU'RE KIDDING,
RIGHT?

286
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:35,980
RED.

287
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,650
NO, NO, NO,
KITTY. IT'S OKAY.

288
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,401
UH, GUY,

289
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,111
MY WIFE DIDN'T GET
ALL DRESSED UP

290
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,155
FOR A SPECIAL NIGHT OUT

291
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,241
SO THAT SHE COULD
MAKE HER OWN SALAD.

292
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:48,159
SEE, SHE COULD
DO THAT AT HOME.

293
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,578
FOR FREE.

294
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,789
BUT SHE WOULDN'T HAVE
8 BLANNIGANTASTIC DRESSINGS

295
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,083
TO CHOOSE FROM AT HOME,
WOULD SHE?

296
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,417
ARE YOU BEING
A WISEACRE?

297
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:57,418
RED, HONEY,
HONEY,

298
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,337
YOUR NECK VEIN.
IT'S POKING OUT.

299
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,005
SIR,

300
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,508
I CAN'T BRING HER A SALAD.
I'LL GET IN TROUBLE.

301
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,969
WHAT THE HELL KIND
OF A RESTAURANT IS THIS?

302
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,846
YOU GOT 8 PEOPLE SINGING
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

303
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,348
AND NOBODY CAN BRING
MY WIFE A DAMN SALAD.

304
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:11,182
RED, HONEY,

305
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,561
NECK VEIN, NECK VEIN,
NECK VEIN.

306
00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,396
COME ON, KITTY.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

307
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:17,939
♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪
[HONK HONK HONK]

308
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,234
OH, SCREW YOUR
FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY.

309
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,492
Announcer:
PLEASE REPLACE
THE SPEAKER ON ITS RACK

310
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,035
WHEN YOU'RE READY
TO LEAVE.

311
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,328
FAILURE TO DO SO
WILL DAMAGE

312
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:35,039
BOTH THE SPEAKER
AND YOUR CAR.

313
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:44,799
[OMEN SOUNDTRACK PLAYS HYMN]

314
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:49,470
[SLURPING SOUNDS]

315
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:53,558
GOD, THIS MOVIE
EVEN SOUNDS GROSS.

316
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:57,896
THAT'S NOT
THE MOVIE.

317
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,105
AHH.

318
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,149
SO...
[CLEARING THROAT]

319
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,942
YOU GUYS OKAY
UP HERE?

320
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:05,862
UH, NO. UM,

321
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,155
I WANT POPCORN,

322
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,991
AND I WANT ERIC
AND KELSO TO GO GET IT.

323
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,534
OH, ERIC
CAN GO GET IT.

324
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,827
NO.

325
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,162
MICHAEL, GO.

326
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,874
OKEY-DOKE.

327
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:23,338
I DIDN'T BRING YOU HERE
TO SUCK KELSO'S FACE OFF.

328
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,881
I KNOW.

329
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,174
I'M SORRY.

330
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:27,926
THIS IS SO AWKWARD.

331
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,803
YOU'RE RIGHT, AND I WASN'T
BEING A VERY GOOD FRIEND.

332
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,805
NO MORE MAKING OUT.

333
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,266
I PROMISE.

334
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,310
ALL RIGHT, UH,

335
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,145
ABOUT THE POPCORN?

336
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,271
I NEED MONEY.

337
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,773
WHAT? I DON'T
WANT POPCORN.

338
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,526
GET BACK IN THE CAR.

339
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,279
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT SHE WANTS.

340
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:53,576
NO. MICHAEL,
MICHAEL, NO.

341
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,912
WE ARE GONNA WATCH THE MOVIE
WITH ERIC AND DONNA.

342
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,372
BUT I MISSED
THE BEGINNING.

343
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:58,081
OKAY, THE LITTLE
KID'S A DEVIL,

344
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:01,709
THEY HAVE TO KILL HIM.
WATCH THE MOVIE.

345
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,045
Woman in movie:
LOOK AT ME, DAMIEN.

346
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,589
IT'S ALL FOR YOU.

347
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,635
[CRASH]

348
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:15,306
AAH!
AAH!

349
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,899
DONNA, IT'S...

350
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,025
IT'S JUST A MOVIE.

351
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,904
OH.

352
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:33,992
DO YOU WANT TO SIT
SOMEWHERE ELSE?

353
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,202
SO BAD.

354
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,500
SO...

355
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,168
HERE WE ARE.

356
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,461
BACK AT PHILLIES.

357
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:48,756
YEP.
GOOD OLD PHILLIES.

358
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,092
GOOD FOOD
AT A FAIR PRICE.

359
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,845
YOU'RE ORDERING
THE SALISBURY STEAK, AREN'T YOU?

360
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:58,099
NOPE.
I'M GOING FOR THE HAM.

361
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,892
RED, DON'T PUT YOUR
HAT ON THE COUNTER.

362
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,894
IT'S ALL GREASY.

363
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:06,858
HEY, PAL?

364
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,069
CAN I GET SOME,
UH, HALF AND HALF?

365
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,575
WELL, ISN'T THIS FAMILIAR?

366
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,417
OKAY, NOW HERE'S HOW
WE SNEAK THE DEVIL MUSIC

367
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,170
PAST OZZIE
AND HARRIET.

368
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,796
OBSERVE.

369
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:32,008
ALICE COOPER,
MEET PAT BOONE.

370
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,596
[STRAINS]
DON'T RESIST ME, PAT BOONE.

371
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:37,930
[FALSETTO]
NO, YOU'RE HURTING ME.

372
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,557
COME ON, TAKE IT.
NO, IT HURTS.

373
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,516
COME ON.
NO.

374
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:46,314
OHH.

375
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,609
BUT WHAT IF MY
HOST PARENTS HEAR IT?

376
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,653
THEN SATAN COMMANDS
US TO KILL THEM, FEZ.

377
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,783
NO.

378
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,035
TELL YOU WHAT.
WE'LL USE THE HEADPHONES.

379
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,953
YES.

380
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,709
KITTY, I'M SORRY
ABOUT TONIGHT.

381
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,212
OH, IT'S NOT
YOUR FAULT, RED.

382
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:12,840
YOU KNOW HOW EMOTIONAL
I GET WHEN I READ COSMO.

383
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,218
BOY, DO I.

384
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:18,805
YOU KNOW, OKAY, AT LEAST
WE GAVE IT A TRY.

385
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,848
I GUESS WE HAVE
SLOWED DOWN.

386
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,600
FLATTENED OUT.

387
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,852
OH, AT OUR AGE,
IT'S INEVITABLE.

388
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,729
OKAY, THAT'S IT.

389
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,856
RED!
OH, MY LORD.

390
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:31,692
YOU'RE NOT FLASHING BACK
TO GUADALCANAL, ARE YOU?

391
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,402
HOLD ON, KITTY.

392
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,822
THE NIGHT'S
NOT OVER.

393
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,495
YOU KNOW THE STARS
ARE REALLY JUST...

394
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,663
FORGET IT.

395
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,748
WHAT?

396
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,918
NOTHING.

397
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,885
WELL, UH,

398
00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,053
JACKIE AND KELSO
HAVE CERTAINLY

399
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,139
MADE THEMSELVES
COMFORTABLE.

400
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,765
YEAH.

401
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,726
IT'S A ROOMY CAR.

402
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:08,104
YEAH, IT IS.

403
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:12,066
YOU KNOW, THE BENCH SEAT
IN THE VISTA CRUISER...

404
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:18,823
IS THE SAME
AS WHAT'S IN

405
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,991
THE FULL-SIZE
PONTIAC CATALINA.

406
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,951
WOW, THAT'S
INTERESTING.

407
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:26,831
[CHEERS FROM CROWD]

408
00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:35,214
Guy:
SMOOTH MOVE, FORMAN!

409
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,654
OKAY, KIDS.
BREAK IT UP.

410
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,239
LET'S GO.

411
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,951
WHOA.
HEY, YOU'RE... ADULTS.

412
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,162
DAMN RIGHT
WE'RE ADULTS.

413
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,622
I'M SORRY, SIR.

414
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,373
MY MISTAKE.

415
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:10,208
THAT'S QUITE
ALL RIGHT.

416
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,084
WE ALL
MAKE MISTAKES.

417
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,920
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU
GO BUST

418
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,214
SOME POT-SMOKING
TEENAGERS

419
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,257
BEFORE I GIVE YOU
A GOOD ADULT-SIZE

420
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,426
KICK IN THE ASS?

421
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:25,431
YES, SIR.

422
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,683
THANK YOU, SIR.

423
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,644
ENJOY YOUR EVENING.

424
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,521
OH, RED.

425
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,316
THAT WAS SO SWEET.

426
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,319
YOU LET HIM OFF
WITH A WARNING.

427
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,905
YEAH,

428
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,241
BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING OFF
THAT EASY.

429
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,576
OH, RED.

430
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:50,456
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA
DA-DA-DA ♪

431
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,917
♪ RAINDROPS KEEP
FALLIN' ON MY HEAD ♪

432
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,252
♪ BA-BA ♪

433
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,128
♪ JUST LIKE A GUY
WHOSE FEET ♪

434
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,215
♪ ARE TOO BIG
FOR HIS BED ♪

435
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,843
♪ IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA,
HONEY ♪

436
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,846
THIS LOUD MUSIC WILL NOT
DAMAGE MY HEARING?

437
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,683
NO, NO.
IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

438
00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,106
HEY, DAD.

439
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,399
HEY, SON.

440
00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:17,650
HOW WAS THE MOVIE?

441
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:18,943
IT WAS PRETTY GORY.

442
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,945
YEAH?
HOW'D IT END?

443
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,823
I DON'T REMEMBER.

444
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,950
ATTA BOY.

445
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,291
SO, HOW WAS
YOUR NIGHT?

446
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:37,003
IT WAS FANTASTIC.

447
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,879
WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

448
00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,424
NIGHT, SON.
OH, AND, UH,

449
00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,884
BE QUIET GOING UPSTAIRS.

450
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:48,139
YOUR MOTHER IS...
VERY TIRED.

451
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,323
SO PHILLIES WAS FUN?

452
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,158
YES, INDEEDY.

453
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,617
VERY DEPENDABLE.

454
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:11,162
AS ALWAYS.

455
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:23,215
[SPEAKING BACKWARDS]

456
00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:25,634
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE
BY CARSEY-WERNER
AND FOX BROADCASTING

457
00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:28,179
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

458
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,680
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE