1 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:33,933 Dad, for the 3rd time, 2 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,201 your dinner's ready! 3 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:36,769 And for the 3rd time, 4 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,172 I'm still shaving my ears! 5 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,941 Well, hurry up. You're gonna be late! 6 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,876 All right. Ready to rock when you are. 7 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,112 Oh, come on. You're wearing that? 8 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,281 What's wrong with my outfit? 9 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:51,184 Ok, outfit is an awfully big word for what you've done here, my friend. 10 00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,753 We're goin' to the circus. What, I gotta throw on a tux 11 00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,122 to watch a clown light his ass on fire? 12 00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,890 It's not a regular circus. 13 00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,892 It's French. It's Cirque de Soleil. 14 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,428 They have men with wings dancing in the air. 15 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:06,216 More like Cirque de so gay. 16 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,019 And they have those female contortionists, 17 00:01:09,086 --> 00:01:10,820 you know, that bend their legs 18 00:01:10,888 --> 00:01:12,855 all the way around the back over the head. 19 00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,624 That's where they lose me, right there. 20 00:01:14,691 --> 00:01:16,926 I need a little more distance between the sun and the moon. 21 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,661 All right. 22 00:01:18,729 --> 00:01:21,464 All right. Let's get this over with. 23 00:01:21,532 --> 00:01:24,734 Oh, dad, you look great! 24 00:01:25,903 --> 00:01:28,271 Just promise you won't bury me in this. 25 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,074 You're all over my clothes, but he gets to wear a shirt 26 00:01:31,142 --> 00:01:33,276 with anchors and ukuleles on it? 27 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,645 Yes. I told you, I signed dad up 28 00:01:35,712 --> 00:01:37,580 for that package of theme dances 29 00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:39,015 at the senior center. 30 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,983 Oh, that's right. Yeah, the thing you told me 31 00:01:41,052 --> 00:01:43,553 to act positive about in front of him. 32 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,688 Yes, I did say to be positive 33 00:01:45,756 --> 00:01:47,524 because it is a good thing. 34 00:01:47,591 --> 00:01:49,426 Ahh! 35 00:01:49,493 --> 00:01:52,228 Tonight's theme is Maui madness. 36 00:01:52,296 --> 00:01:54,030 Well, I think you look great, Arthur. 37 00:01:54,098 --> 00:01:57,300 I like the way the purple brings out the veins in your legs. 38 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,568 Outta here, get out. 39 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,238 What the hell do you call this, anyway? 40 00:02:02,306 --> 00:02:05,007 I call it fish, like most people. 41 00:02:05,076 --> 00:02:07,743 Is it too late to substitute something enjoyable? 42 00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:11,247 Dad, your cholesterol is now, like, the low 700s. 43 00:02:11,315 --> 00:02:12,882 Come on, the fish is good for you. 44 00:02:12,950 --> 00:02:14,617 I don't care. I want bacon. 45 00:02:14,685 --> 00:02:16,586 Oh, ok. You want bacon? I'll give you bacon. 46 00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:18,521 Just make sure you wave hi to grandma 47 00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:20,790 as you're going towards the light, ok? 48 00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:25,395 Oh, my God. Doug, it's late. 49 00:02:25,463 --> 00:02:27,730 Would you mind dropping dad off at the senior center 50 00:02:27,798 --> 00:02:28,998 while I finish getting ready? 51 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,333 Mind? You kiddin' me? 52 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:33,470 Between that and the French circus, this is a dream night. 53 00:02:33,537 --> 00:02:35,972 Ok, dad, come on. Medicine time. 54 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,507 Ok... 55 00:02:39,176 --> 00:02:41,043 Red, yellow, 56 00:02:41,112 --> 00:02:42,445 and big blue. 57 00:02:44,181 --> 00:02:45,281 Good. 58 00:02:48,552 --> 00:02:51,287 Ah. There. Happy? 59 00:02:51,355 --> 00:02:53,055 Take big blue. 60 00:02:53,124 --> 00:02:54,390 I took it. 61 00:02:55,559 --> 00:02:56,892 See? 62 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,829 Get it out of your sock and swallow it. 63 00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,331 Yes, mein fuehrer! 64 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,100 Oh! I almost forgot something. 65 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,141 Eeh, yeah! 66 00:03:12,075 --> 00:03:13,976 Oh, dad, 67 00:03:14,044 --> 00:03:16,212 you look so adorable. 68 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,381 Ok, ok! Have a good time. Bye-bye. 69 00:03:21,084 --> 00:03:23,819 Is there any chance I can use this to hang myself? 70 00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:29,425 ♪ 71 00:03:34,165 --> 00:03:35,465 Hey, hey. 72 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:37,600 The joint is really jumping. 73 00:03:37,668 --> 00:03:39,135 Huh? 74 00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:40,870 Look, there's your buddy Mickey. 75 00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:42,838 Oh, aloha! 76 00:03:42,906 --> 00:03:44,974 Ready to hang 10? 77 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:47,977 Yeah. 78 00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:49,546 Yeah. 79 00:03:49,613 --> 00:03:51,714 Let's go. Hurry! 80 00:03:51,782 --> 00:03:54,217 All right, I'll see you in a few hours. 81 00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:00,756 Brutal. 82 00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:03,959 ♪ 83 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:12,502 Hey, daddy-o! 84 00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:18,174 ♪ 85 00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:25,047 Howdy, pardner! 86 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,117 Come on. 87 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,952 What is wrong with that man? 88 00:04:33,624 --> 00:04:36,259 So, it's outer space night, huh? 89 00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,264 I like it a lot better than pajama party night. 90 00:04:41,332 --> 00:04:44,634 I gotta be honest. I didn't expect to see so many negligees. 91 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,603 I mean, there were a few secrets 92 00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:49,772 Victoria should have kept to herself, am I right? 93 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,006 Pull over. 94 00:04:51,074 --> 00:04:52,208 I'm sorry, what? 95 00:04:52,276 --> 00:04:54,210 Pull the car over, Douglas. 96 00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:56,446 Arthur, we're still 6 blocks away. 97 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,513 Do it. 98 00:05:01,852 --> 00:05:03,720 Look, I... I think we're in a bus Lane here. 99 00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:05,521 Douglas, look me in the eye. 100 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:10,826 Hi. 101 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,662 You gotta help me out here. 102 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,564 I can't go to that place again. 103 00:05:14,632 --> 00:05:16,232 I just can't. 104 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,634 Why not? 105 00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:19,402 Have you taken a good look? 106 00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:22,405 That place is like death's greenroom. 107 00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:24,807 Well, it's no Hooters, I'll give you that. 108 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,876 But really, what is? 109 00:05:26,943 --> 00:05:28,077 Listen to me. 110 00:05:28,145 --> 00:05:29,879 I know this fellow named Chick. 111 00:05:29,946 --> 00:05:32,081 He's hipped me to some clubs down at the docks. 112 00:05:32,149 --> 00:05:33,716 Let me go down there tonight. 113 00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,017 The docks? 114 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,353 What am I supposed to tell Carrie? 115 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,688 She doesn't have to know. 116 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:41,023 I'll be back at the center by 10:00. 117 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,759 Douglas, I'm beggin'. 118 00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,860 There's a taxi stand at the corner. 119 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,229 Please give me back the night! 120 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,434 Go ahead. Go on. Get outta here. 121 00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:53,002 Oh, thank you, friend! 122 00:05:53,069 --> 00:05:55,137 So, you won't tell Carrie? 123 00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:57,173 Tell Carrie what? 124 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,641 About our arrangement. 125 00:05:58,709 --> 00:06:00,209 I know. I was doing the thing 126 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,211 where I pretend to not even know what you're talkin' about. 127 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,279 I don't follow you. 128 00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:04,347 Just go. Just go. Just go. 129 00:06:04,415 --> 00:06:05,682 Right, right. 130 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,188 Wait, take... take off your antennae! 131 00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:22,064 Boy, some of these people really went for it 132 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,466 with the space costumes, huh? 133 00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:27,437 Oh, check out the guy with the oxygen tanks. 134 00:06:27,504 --> 00:06:29,472 Actually, I think those are real. 135 00:06:32,008 --> 00:06:34,577 So where's my dad? Why hasn't he come out yet? 136 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,845 You know him. 137 00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:37,913 He's probably stealing some cookies or something. 138 00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:41,183 Oh, hi, Mickey. 139 00:06:41,251 --> 00:06:43,686 Hey, you're lookin' good there. 140 00:06:43,754 --> 00:06:45,855 Oh, thank you. 141 00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,990 If you ever get tired of your big boy, 142 00:06:48,058 --> 00:06:49,759 my planet needs women. 143 00:06:51,094 --> 00:06:52,228 I'll let you know. 144 00:06:52,295 --> 00:06:54,063 So, is my dad still in there? 145 00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:55,832 He never showed up. 146 00:06:57,801 --> 00:06:58,968 Funny story. 147 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,958 What the hell were you thinking? 148 00:07:14,026 --> 00:07:15,692 He promised he'd be back by 10:00. 149 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,128 Yeah, well, he also promised 150 00:07:17,195 --> 00:07:18,930 to wear underwear underneath his bathrobe, 151 00:07:18,997 --> 00:07:21,632 but we know how that worked out, don't we? 152 00:07:21,699 --> 00:07:23,100 All right, well, he's not at home, 153 00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:25,069 and didn't leave a message on the machine. 154 00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:26,137 This is just great. 155 00:07:26,204 --> 00:07:27,238 Will you relax, ok? 156 00:07:27,306 --> 00:07:28,505 I know exactly where he is. 157 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,207 Oh, really? Would you mind telling me? 158 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,476 He's down by the, uh, you know, 159 00:07:32,544 --> 00:07:33,811 the, uh, docks. 160 00:07:34,546 --> 00:07:36,513 The docks? 161 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,549 Oh, that sounds like a perfect place for an old man with gout. 162 00:07:38,616 --> 00:07:40,184 Where at the docks? 163 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,586 He didn't specify, but he did tell me who he was gonna be with. 164 00:07:42,654 --> 00:07:43,587 Who? 165 00:07:43,655 --> 00:07:45,456 A gentleman named Chick. 166 00:07:46,058 --> 00:07:47,091 Chick? 167 00:07:47,159 --> 00:07:49,026 It's a nickname. Probably short for... 168 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,228 Chicken. 169 00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:54,031 I can't believe you let him run off. 170 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,000 God, what if something happened to him? 171 00:07:56,068 --> 00:07:58,602 He can take care of himself. Will you stop worryin'? 172 00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:00,338 All right, now, we'll go down there, 173 00:08:00,405 --> 00:08:03,007 we'll check out a few places, and I'm sure we'll find him. 174 00:08:03,075 --> 00:08:05,076 Don't forget to drop me off first. 175 00:08:05,143 --> 00:08:08,045 Oh, we won't, Mickey. Where... where should I turn? 176 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,280 I don't know. 177 00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:12,583 You don't know? 178 00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:16,553 Well, I just moved in a couple of months ago. 179 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,790 Ok, well... well, can you give me something, a... a landmark? 180 00:08:20,859 --> 00:08:23,060 I live next door to the Johnsons. 181 00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:25,196 They're colored. 182 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:27,564 Ok. 183 00:08:31,403 --> 00:08:33,070 ♪ 184 00:08:34,206 --> 00:08:35,606 Hello, young lovers. 185 00:08:36,741 --> 00:08:38,109 Attaboy, arty. 186 00:08:38,176 --> 00:08:39,776 Hey, Chicky! 187 00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:41,645 To life! To love! 188 00:08:41,713 --> 00:08:42,746 To the ladies. 189 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:43,947 I'll drink to that. 190 00:08:44,016 --> 00:08:46,050 May I freshen your Rusty nail, enid? 191 00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:48,252 You aren't goin' anywhere, fella. 192 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,686 I aims to please. 193 00:08:52,391 --> 00:08:54,591 Hey, Carrie! He's in this one! 194 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,260 Hey, Douglas! Welcome! 195 00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:57,761 I want you to meet the gang. 196 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,230 That's Chick and Monica. 197 00:08:59,297 --> 00:09:00,764 How do you do? Hi, how are ya? 198 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,833 And this young lady is enid. 199 00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:05,469 Pleasure to meet you. 200 00:09:05,537 --> 00:09:07,238 A delightful morsel, am I right? 201 00:09:07,305 --> 00:09:10,374 Oh, yes. She's very... can I see you for a second, please? 202 00:09:10,442 --> 00:09:12,910 What the hell's goin' on? You're supposed to be back by 10:00. 203 00:09:12,977 --> 00:09:14,412 And I will. What time is it now? 204 00:09:14,479 --> 00:09:15,712 It's 1:30 in the morning! 205 00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:16,813 Wow! 206 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:19,883 Sorry, big guy. Truth is, 207 00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:22,719 I have something marvelous going on with enid. 208 00:09:24,156 --> 00:09:25,256 Enid, huh? 209 00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:26,257 Yeah. 210 00:09:26,324 --> 00:09:28,059 She's not bad. 211 00:09:28,126 --> 00:09:30,928 Kind of has that worldly, smoky quality. 212 00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:34,698 So, can you buy me a little time? 213 00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:35,966 I'm gonna level with you, Arthur. 214 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,601 Dad? We're dead men. 215 00:09:37,669 --> 00:09:39,270 He's fine. I told you he was fine. 216 00:09:39,337 --> 00:09:41,505 Dad... dad, what have you been doing? 217 00:09:41,573 --> 00:09:44,208 I have been worried half out of my mind about you! 218 00:09:44,276 --> 00:09:46,410 Any chance we can discuss this later, darling? 219 00:09:46,478 --> 00:09:47,744 Maybe tomorrow? 220 00:09:47,812 --> 00:09:50,147 Have you been drinking hard liquor? 221 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,216 I may have had a sip or two of a Rob Roy. 222 00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:53,317 Why do you ask? 223 00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,619 Because you have half a liver, 224 00:09:55,687 --> 00:09:57,288 and you're on 9 medications 225 00:09:57,355 --> 00:09:59,490 that say, "do not take with alcohol." 226 00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,125 That's why I ask. 227 00:10:01,193 --> 00:10:03,026 Wow, you weren't kiddin', arty. 228 00:10:03,095 --> 00:10:04,228 Short leash. 229 00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:05,529 Who the hell are you? 230 00:10:05,597 --> 00:10:06,697 I'm Chick Dugan. 231 00:10:06,764 --> 00:10:08,532 Who are you, his nurse? 232 00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:10,734 No, I am his daughter, 233 00:10:10,802 --> 00:10:12,869 and we are in the middle of a private conversation, 234 00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:15,038 so why don't you go shake down the vending machines? 235 00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:16,840 Ooh, excuse me. 236 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,809 That's why I like 'em post-menopause. 237 00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,177 Oh, I hear that. 238 00:10:22,013 --> 00:10:24,215 Listen, darling, why don't you kids head for home... 239 00:10:24,282 --> 00:10:26,883 Oh, dad, don't be ridiculous. It's almost 2:00 in the morning. 240 00:10:26,951 --> 00:10:29,052 Now, we're going home. Say goodbye to your friends. 241 00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:30,387 I'll meet you in the car. 242 00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:34,625 Come on, Arthur. We should... we should get going. 243 00:10:34,692 --> 00:10:35,692 Right. 244 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,762 Arty, take care of yourself. 245 00:10:39,631 --> 00:10:40,764 You, too, kiddo. 246 00:10:40,832 --> 00:10:42,766 All right. Come on, partner. Let's go, huh? 247 00:10:42,834 --> 00:10:44,435 Plenty more where that came from. 248 00:10:44,503 --> 00:10:45,569 Sure. 249 00:10:45,637 --> 00:10:47,938 The living room is filled with adventure. 250 00:10:57,415 --> 00:10:59,850 Dad, come inside! What are you gonna do, 251 00:10:59,917 --> 00:11:01,252 sleep in the car? 252 00:11:04,656 --> 00:11:05,956 Good night! 253 00:11:12,397 --> 00:11:13,964 How dare you? 254 00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:16,634 How dare me? How dare you? 255 00:11:16,701 --> 00:11:18,902 No, how dare you? 256 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,371 How dare you? 257 00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:23,040 All right, let's just get the fight going. 258 00:11:23,107 --> 00:11:25,309 You humiliated me in front of my friends. 259 00:11:25,377 --> 00:11:26,943 I got news for you, sweetheart. 260 00:11:27,011 --> 00:11:28,279 You're my daughter, 261 00:11:28,346 --> 00:11:29,913 not the other way around! 262 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,949 Well, if you don't want to be treated like a child, 263 00:11:33,017 --> 00:11:34,685 then don't act like one. 264 00:11:34,752 --> 00:11:36,853 I did not act like a child! 265 00:11:36,921 --> 00:11:39,557 Dad, you ran off, you didn't call, you didn't leave a message, 266 00:11:39,624 --> 00:11:42,025 you were drinking, and I gotta be honest with you, dad, ok? 267 00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:43,394 Your date looked like a pro. 268 00:11:43,461 --> 00:11:44,895 How dare you? 269 00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:46,564 Ok, let's not backtrack. 270 00:11:46,631 --> 00:11:48,131 I've got news for you, sweetheart. 271 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,267 Tonight was the first night I felt alive 272 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,035 since you dragged me into this house. 273 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:54,104 But you couldn't stand to see it, could you? No! 274 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,372 You had to hobble me, 275 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,274 like that fat broad in misery. 276 00:11:59,244 --> 00:12:01,778 I am not trying to hobble you, dad. 277 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,947 I am trying to look after you. 278 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,049 I care about you, that's all. 279 00:12:06,117 --> 00:12:07,618 Douglas, I appeal to you. 280 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,920 Am I crazy, or did she spill my plums 281 00:12:09,987 --> 00:12:12,423 all over that barroom floor? 282 00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:13,957 Actually, I gotta tell you, hon, 283 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,992 you were a little rough on him back there. 284 00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:17,695 You were. 285 00:12:17,762 --> 00:12:19,530 All right, don't you start in on me, 286 00:12:19,598 --> 00:12:21,064 because this is your fault, too. 287 00:12:21,132 --> 00:12:22,466 My fault? Yes! 288 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,435 All you had to do was drop him off 289 00:12:24,502 --> 00:12:26,403 at the senior center. Simple thing. 290 00:12:26,471 --> 00:12:27,738 He's a grown man. He wanted out. 291 00:12:27,805 --> 00:12:29,506 What am I gonna do, lock him in the car? 292 00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,908 Yes! You can lock all the doors from the driver's side! 293 00:12:31,976 --> 00:12:33,110 I showed you that! 294 00:12:33,177 --> 00:12:34,645 If it didn't happen tonight, 295 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,313 it was gonna happen eventually. 296 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,848 I gotta be honest with you. 297 00:12:37,915 --> 00:12:39,750 I've been observing you for quite a while, 298 00:12:39,817 --> 00:12:41,285 and you've been stifling him. 299 00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:44,555 Stifling him? Is that what you've observed, Doug? 300 00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:46,022 Yeah, yeah. Oh. Oh, oh, ok. 301 00:12:46,090 --> 00:12:48,125 'Cause I thought your view might've been blocked 302 00:12:48,192 --> 00:12:50,193 by the dorito bag you always have your head in. 303 00:12:50,262 --> 00:12:51,528 How dare you? 304 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,497 All right. Anyway, what I'm sayin' is, 305 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,798 just back off him, ok? 306 00:12:54,866 --> 00:12:56,867 You've been running his life like a drill sergeant. 307 00:12:56,934 --> 00:12:57,968 Oh. Really? 308 00:12:58,035 --> 00:13:00,036 And... and what, you think you can do better? 309 00:13:00,104 --> 00:13:02,038 I would've made some different choices, yeah. 310 00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:03,039 Would ya? 311 00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:04,141 Indeed, I would. 312 00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,042 Indeed, you would? Hmm. 313 00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:08,612 Ok, ok. Obviously I'm in the wrong here. 314 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,481 I mean, you think so. He thinks so. 315 00:13:10,548 --> 00:13:12,015 Even Chick thinks so. 316 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,017 So, um, you know what? 317 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,952 As of this moment, I am out of it. 318 00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:17,655 You can make all the decisions. 319 00:13:17,722 --> 00:13:19,222 He belongs to you. 320 00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:21,057 Fine. I'll do it. It's no big deal. 321 00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:23,327 Ok. Just... that works for you, too, dad? 322 00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:26,597 Douglas would be a breath of fresh air. 323 00:13:26,665 --> 00:13:28,332 Ok. Well, have fun, ladies. 324 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,401 Oh, we'll have more than fun, Mary Jane. 325 00:13:30,468 --> 00:13:31,802 We'll have so much damn fun, 326 00:13:31,869 --> 00:13:33,970 the neighbors will think it's weird. 327 00:13:36,007 --> 00:13:37,341 Ok. 328 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,532 All right, art deco. Give me an update. 329 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:56,268 How are we lookin' with the waffle iron? 330 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,970 It would appear to have reached optimal temperature. 331 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:02,006 Now hit me with a load of Dougie batter. 332 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,275 Let's start with the waffles 333 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,077 and see what happens, huh? 334 00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:07,946 Ah, the sound of good eatin'. 335 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,114 Good mornin'. 336 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,615 Oh, hello. 337 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,484 What've you guys got goin' on there? 338 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:15,087 We're livin' our life. Now, back off, sister! 339 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:20,158 Easy. I'm just getting some juice. 340 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:23,261 By the by, Douglas, I wanna take this opportunity to thank you 341 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:25,363 for involving me in the morning goings-on. 342 00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,332 Oh, well, you're very welcome, Arthur. 343 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,000 And may I add that your wisdom 344 00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,069 has enriched the waffle-making process. 345 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:33,472 Kudos on the nutmeg. 346 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,373 I surely appreciate that. 347 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,576 Oh, it's, uh, right around the time 348 00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:41,313 when my pills are usually forced down my gullet. 349 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,582 Douglas, do you mind if I take them later, 350 00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,150 of my own volition? 351 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,818 I don't know what "volition" means, 352 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:49,488 but I certainly understand "later." That'd be fine. 353 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,257 Thank you for that shred of respect. 354 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,226 Well, I gotta say, 355 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:56,928 this is working out delightfully. 356 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,997 I mean, everything's under control, 357 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,666 wafflemania's in progress, 358 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,136 and guess who's got a free afternoon 359 00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:06,171 to get a manicure? Hi, me! 360 00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,579 Oh, look, Douglas. Scissors. 361 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,448 May I run with them? 362 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,520 Be my guest, Arthur. 363 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,787 Ooh, look! 364 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:25,089 I'm running with the scissors, 365 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,726 and I'm not dead! Whoo-hoo, look at me! 366 00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:31,062 Good one. 367 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,597 Oh, watch this. 368 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,533 Oh, look, a fork. 369 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,703 Douglas, do you mind if I stick it in the toaster? 370 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,838 Actually, yes. Don't do that. 371 00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:42,474 Ok, guys, I'm going. 372 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,277 Doug, don't forget to run his errands with him. 373 00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,045 Errands? 374 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,184 You call this a haircut? 375 00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,085 Where are the blond highlights? 376 00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:01,660 I don't care if your sign says "no shoes, no shirt, no service." 377 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,528 I want my wind chimes! 378 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,436 Sorry, Douglas. It used to be here. 379 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,009 Son of a gun. Not here, either. 380 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,581 Be patient, Douglas. 381 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,749 It's very hard to find parking here. 382 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,754 I don't care how many tattoos you've got. 383 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,890 You mess with me, you mess with my son-in-law! 384 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,600 What a day, what a way. 385 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,000 Am I right, Douglas? 386 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,236 I don't know. 387 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,705 Boy, I'm starving. 388 00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,806 What's for dinner, hop sing? 389 00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:50,742 I don't know. What do you... what do you want? 390 00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:52,510 Cake. 391 00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,145 Cake? You can't have cake for dinner. 392 00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:56,948 Ok, then jambalaya. 393 00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:58,483 I'll make you a grilled cheese. 394 00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,718 I love it. 395 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,556 You know what? Here. Have a mini-doughnut. 396 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,090 It'll tide you over till dinner. 397 00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:07,759 Don't mind if I do. 398 00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:09,026 Whoo. 399 00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,396 Douglas, quick question. 400 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,831 Is the room listing severely to the left? 401 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,200 Nope. 402 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,202 Then I may need my medication. 403 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,804 You didn't take your pills? 404 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,506 I... apparently not. 405 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,375 Arthur, you said you were gonna take them! 406 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,710 I was drunk with freedom. 407 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,512 All right, what do we start with here? 408 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:28,713 Hang on, hang on. 409 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,047 Start with the ear drops in, 410 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,383 and for God's sakes, 411 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:32,450 hurry. 412 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,951 Well, there are 3 droppers here, 413 00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:35,887 and none of them say "ear" on it. 414 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,322 Oh, God. It's Carrie. 415 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,556 Hey! Hey! 416 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:39,658 Hey! 417 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,058 Everything ok here? 418 00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:42,260 Couldn't be better. 419 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,432 Well, I gotta hand it to you guys. 420 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,401 I had a good day, and it looks like 421 00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:50,968 you had a good day, too. 422 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:52,470 Oh, yeah. Great day, great day. 423 00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,572 Just gonna throw in the old ear drops now, 424 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,107 and, uh, that'll be it. Whoo! 425 00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:58,810 Ok. But these are the ear drops. 426 00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:01,479 If you wanna use the corn remover, be my guest. 427 00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,281 I don't want to micromanage. 428 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:05,283 Ok. 429 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,521 All right, hang on. Relief is on the way. 430 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,222 All right, come here. Tip your ears. 431 00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:12,524 The other one, other one! 432 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:13,958 Good. There you go. 433 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,227 Ok, now we just gotta get it in there. 434 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,996 Easy! I'm not a Martini. 435 00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:21,466 All right, come on, relax. I wanna make sure it's in there. 436 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,535 All right, now, pills, pills, pills. Here we go. 437 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,438 All right, we got a red one, a blue one, and a yellow one. Here. 438 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:28,272 I'm not taking big blue. I hate those. 439 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,941 You gotta take your medicine. Open up! 440 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,476 Dream on! Open the damn mouth! 441 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,244 No! Look at yourself, Douglas. 442 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:36,280 You're behaving just like her. 443 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:40,017 Oh, my God. You're... you know what? You're absolutely right. 444 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,286 I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, Arthur. 445 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,655 Apology accepted. 446 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,557 Yeah. Wow, 447 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,827 I-I'm just gonna get, uh, dinner going. 448 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,463 I'm sorry about that. I don't know what happened. 449 00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:53,498 You know what? Just to show I'm a good guy, 450 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:54,799 why don't you, uh, 451 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,334 why don't you have yourself 452 00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,636 another mini... mini-doughnut before dinner, huh? 453 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,004 Thank you, Douglas. Ok. 454 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,339 That's more like it. 455 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:02,507 Yeah. 456 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,478 I gotta tell you, Arthur, 457 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,145 you put up such a good fight, 458 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:10,682 it almost feels wrong to win. 459 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,884 What're you talkin' about? 460 00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:15,687 I slipped big blue into your mini-doughnut. 461 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:19,724 You scurvy son of a bitch! 462 00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:25,530 Delightful sandwich. 463 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,632 What kind of cheese is this? 464 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,100 American. 465 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,102 Well, hats off to the Americans. 466 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,438 Glad you like it. 467 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:35,740 So what are you, uh, 468 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,375 what do you got goin' on for tonight? 469 00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,912 Remember my drinking buddy, Chick, from the docks? 470 00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:43,415 He got a tip on a busted slot machine 471 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:46,317 in one of those Indian casinos in Connecticut. 472 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:48,553 It's payin' off like gangbusters. 473 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,155 Well, you... you wanna go to Connecticut tonight? 474 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,491 Sure. Chick's corvair is street-legal again, 475 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,527 and I just cashed in some c.Ds. 476 00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,129 He's the wheels, and I'm the bank. 477 00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:01,098 Are you... are you insane, Arthur? You're... you're not goin'. 478 00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:02,534 Oh-ho-ho, I'm goin'. 479 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,902 Oh-ho-ho, no, you're not. 480 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,438 And who, pray tell, is gonna stop me? 481 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:07,872 You're lookin' at him. 482 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,742 Oh-ho, Douglas, you are priceless. 483 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,244 For the next 8 hours, you won't be able 484 00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:15,179 to stop yourself from droolin'. 485 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:16,881 What? 486 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,917 I jammed the rest of the big blues 487 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,284 in your sandwich. 488 00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:22,887 I was afraid you'd notice, but fortunately, 489 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,423 you wolf down your food like a rottweiler. 490 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,392 You drugged me? 491 00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,998 Doesn't feel too good, does it? 492 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,400 So, bye-bye, sucker! 493 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,269 Enjoy the pretty colors! 494 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,375 ♪ 495 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,701 Doug? 496 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,369 Hey, honey! 497 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:15,707 Where... Where's my father? 498 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,376 Oh, he put the big blue pills 499 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,378 in my sandwich, and he ran way. 500 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,614 I love you! 501 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,248 Stay with me, honey. Stay with me. 502 00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:26,450 Where exactly did he go? 503 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:30,187 He went to a casino in connec-I-ta-cut. 504 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:33,691 Ok, and when did he leave? 505 00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:37,529 Well, that depends on when now is... the... now. 506 00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:41,132 Ok, I was gonna take a bath, 507 00:21:41,199 --> 00:21:43,134 but searching casinos in Connecticut 508 00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:44,702 seems just as relaxing. 509 00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,671 I tell you, Carrie, you were right. 510 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,673 You take good care of your father. 511 00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:51,308 I was bad and stupid. 512 00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:52,510 I know, honey. 513 00:21:52,578 --> 00:21:54,478 All right, sleep it off. 514 00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:55,747 All right. Ok. 515 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:56,915 Hey. 516 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,482 Great ass! 517 00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:00,919 Thank you. 518 00:22:11,268 --> 00:22:13,073 Yeah. This man in the picture right here. 519 00:22:13,140 --> 00:22:14,408 Have you seen him? 520 00:22:14,475 --> 00:22:15,642 Oh, yes. 521 00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:18,078 He's the one we call "little yells a lot." 522 00:22:18,145 --> 00:22:20,214 He left about 15 minutes ago.