1
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:17,094
DOUG: Okay. Two pieces left.
2
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,284
Two pieces left.
3
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,831
Oh, boy.
4
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,901
One piece left. Okay,
let's do the math.
5
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:29,006
I'm on my third. He's had
two, and this is her second.
6
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:32,509
Okay, she's out of the
game. She's a two-slicer.
7
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:38,048
It's between me...
and the old man.
8
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,582
Technically, he
is entitled to it,
9
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:45,555
but I should be okay. After
all, I am the only one counting.
10
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:49,692
ARTHUR: Three slices,
and he's eyeing his fourth.
11
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,462
No wonder he's huge.
12
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:56,400
Well, that one's got
my name on it, big man.
13
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:59,269
DOUG: Oh, God. He made
eye contact with the slice.
14
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:04,241
I gotta throw this
one down and grab it.
15
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:09,668
ARTHUR: Oh, so
that's your game, is it?
16
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,517
CARRIE: Oh, God.
17
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:16,520
They're racing for
the last piece again.
18
00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:21,380
I'm pretty full... But
let's have some fun.
19
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:33,103
♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
20
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:36,373
♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪
21
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,608
♪ I'm sitting here in traffic ♪
22
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:41,445
♪ On the Queensborough
Bridge Tonight ♪
23
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:46,783
♪ But I don't care
'Cause all I want to do ♪
24
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:52,556
♪ Is cash my check and
drive Right home to you ♪
25
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,391
♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪
26
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:58,883
♪ I will be drivin'
home To you ♪♪
27
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,971
God, that restaurant
was good, wasn't it?
28
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,973
Yeah, it was. I hate when
those waiters come around,
29
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:12,041
they ask if you want
fresh ground pepper.
30
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,577
I always choke, you know?
31
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,579
It's like, "I can't decide
with you standing over me."
32
00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:17,914
Yeah. Why can't they just leave
the pepper mill on the table?
33
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,182
Exactly.
34
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:20,584
They carry it
around like it's gold.
35
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,719
I know! It's pepper,
you know? It's like dirt.
36
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,821
Carrie, your place is great.
37
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,356
Yeah. You might
recognize the furniture
38
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,358
from a little shop called Ikea.
39
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,693
Ah, yes.
40
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,262
Here you go. Here's
that article you wanted.
41
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,597
Fabulous. Thank
you. You're welcome.
42
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,798
And also there's a great
review of a new steak house
43
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,234
that just opened up
on Northern Boulevard.
44
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,435
Apparently, they
fly their steaks in
45
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,504
from Chicago or something.
46
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,606
Yeah, any interest in
going Saturday night?
47
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:46,176
Hey, anytime meat is flown
to me, you caught my attention.
48
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,777
Sounds good. Abby?
49
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:51,114
Uh, yeah, I'll check our book,
but I'm 75% sure we can do it.
50
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,750
Okay, great,
great. This is great.
51
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,752
It's great seeing you.
We had a lot of fun.
52
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,787
All right, take it easy, now.
53
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,922
Okay.
54
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,090
Marc and Abby.
55
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,692
You see? I told
you you'd like them.
56
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,093
You're right. I'm
sorry I fought you.
57
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,895
It's just that you met
Abby at yoga class.
58
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,030
Sounded pretty weak.
59
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,432
Yeah, I know, but we were both
60
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,567
mocking the instructor.
61
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,536
I had a good feeling.
It worked out great.
62
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,871
I mean, I like
Marc, you like Abby.
63
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,073
I even like Abby, you like Marc.
64
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,842
There's crossover appeal.
That never happens.
65
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,811
What are you doing?
We just had dinner.
66
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,680
Just a late-night once-over.
67
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:27,417
Oh, look at that. New package
of American cheese slices.
68
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:31,221
Not taking any.
Just good to know.
69
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:35,425
It's also good to know that
I will be taking a pudding.
70
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,561
You know what I like
about Marc and Abby?
71
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,962
No kids. Oh, it's
a beautiful thing.
72
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:41,431
I mean Deacon
and Kelly are great,
73
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,433
but it's always like, oh,
they can't get a sitter,
74
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,434
this one has an earache,
75
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,468
that one swallowed a marble,
76
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:48,971
blah, blah, blah. Very annoying.
77
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,340
But Marc and Abby? No strings.
78
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,742
You know what they are?
They are our new go-to couple.
79
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,111
Yeah. It's like we can
call them up on a whim...
80
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:59,549
and boom! We're on a Lear jet to
Monte Carlo with the Shmenkmans.
81
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,551
Honey, their name
is not Shmenkman.
82
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:05,555
It's Shropshire. Shropshire?
83
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:09,648
Shropshire. Too hard. I'm
sticking with Shmenkman.
84
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:13,896
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
85
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,765
Hello.
86
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,568
Oh, hey, Kel. What's going on?
87
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,637
Oh, all right. Hold on a sec.
88
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,572
Deacon and Kelly wanna
go out Saturday night.
89
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,040
They got a sitter.
90
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,243
We got the
Shmenkmans on Saturday.
91
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,244
Is that definite?
92
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:29,078
Well, they said 75%.
93
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,147
Hit the mute. Okay.
94
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:34,183
Hit it. I don't
know where it is.
95
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:39,922
There. Okay. I'm gonna test it.
96
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:45,216
[MAKES FARTING SOUNDS]
97
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,864
It works. All right.
98
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,866
So what about Saturday
night? What are we gonna do?
99
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,068
Marc and Abby gave us
75%, but if that falls through
100
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,237
and we say no to Deac and Kelly,
101
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,272
then we got nothing.
102
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,673
All right, so what do we do?
103
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,608
We gotta hold Deacon
and Kelly until we know.
104
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:02,011
Tell them we're 75%
sure we can do it.
105
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,181
Carrie, the Shmenkmans
gave us 75%.
106
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,384
We only have 25% to give.
107
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:12,322
Well, we're not gonna hold
Deac and Kelly with 25%.
108
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,157
Cheat it. Bump it up to 50.
109
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,394
Kel? Yeah. Sorry about that.
110
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:21,063
I... saw a bird. Uh, anyway,
about Saturday night,
111
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:24,601
um, we're 35%
sure we can make it.
112
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:28,738
Hmm? Okay. Would
it help if I said 40?
113
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,408
Okay, then we'll do it
some other time, then.
114
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:33,643
Would you please give them 50?
115
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:37,414
Huh? Oh. Okay, hold on a
second. How about Sunday brunch?
116
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,716
Oh, yeah, there you
go. We'll do it here.
117
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,118
Yeah, that sounds great,
and we'll do it over here.
118
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:45,689
Hmm? Oh, yeah, no.
No, bring them along.
119
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:46,690
That's fine.
120
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,626
Yeah, okay, mm-hmm. Okay, bye.
121
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,760
They're bringing the kids.
122
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,362
What was I gonna say?
123
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:53,996
Hang on to your hats, people.
124
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,198
I got news.
125
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,534
I was over at that newsstand
126
00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:00,036
that has papers from
all around the country,
127
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,372
and I grabbed myself
an Akron Beacon.
128
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,441
Take a gander at this.
129
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:07,844
What am I supposed
to be reacting to?
130
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,414
It's a coupon for Sergeant
Salty's Deep-sea Corn Loops.
131
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:15,652
And should I be happy or... sad?
132
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:19,556
Happy. It's the greatest
breakfast cereal known to man.
133
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:23,059
When I was a boy, I'd pour
myself a big bowl every morning
134
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,695
and listen to The
Sergeant Salty Radio Hour,
135
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,998
where I'd be regaled with the
adventures of Sergeant Salty
136
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:33,202
and his trusty
sidekick Bugle Dog.
137
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,538
Well, I'm glad
you found it, Dad.
138
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,241
Yeah. I thought they'd
stopped making it
139
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,709
when it came out
that Sergeant Salty
140
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:45,081
kept a small Chinese
woman locked in his basement.
141
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,315
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
142
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:49,185
Hello.
143
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,788
Oh, hey, Abby.
144
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:56,125
Oh, you can't make
Saturday? That's too bad.
145
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,362
What's that? Uh, just
hang on one second.
146
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:02,565
Yeah. Now they
want Sunday brunch.
147
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,202
Well, this is a fine mess.
148
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,404
We gotta call Deac and Kelly
149
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,038
and try to get
Saturday night back.
150
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,173
And say what? Our
better offer canceled?
151
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,142
That's like a slap in the face.
152
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,745
You know what? Let's
just all have Sunday brunch.
153
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,946
Good. Do that. Okay.
154
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,582
Abby? Yeah, Sunday is great.
155
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,484
We'll do it here at my house.
156
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,520
Some other friends of
ours are gonna join us.
157
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,756
Is that cool? Okay, great.
We'll see you Sunday at 11:00.
158
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,459
All right. Bye, sweetie.
Well, that worked out.
159
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:33,785
Man, people are really into us.
160
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,170
He's one of those guys who
leaves incredibly long messages
161
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,338
on the machine.
162
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:44,140
I come home, I gotta
go to the bathroom,
163
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,341
I hit the button, it's like,
164
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,743
"Heeeeey...
165
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,712
"guy...
166
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:52,615
"It's Bob!
167
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,183
"How you doing?
168
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,018
"Gimme a call back. I'm at...
169
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,856
[SPEAKING QUICKLY]
170
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,524
[BABY CRIES]
171
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:04,727
Oh. Oh, your baby
is so adorable.
172
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:07,096
Both your kids. Thank you.
173
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,698
Actually, Marc and I
have been talking about
174
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,501
whether it's time to have one
of these little guys ourselves.
175
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,937
KELLY: Oh, really?
Wow. You should do it.
176
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,905
We think we might.
177
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,340
Really? So soon?
178
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,576
You guys have only
been married 2 years.
179
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,778
Haven't had time to
enjoy each other yet.
180
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,046
It's true. Kids
really do take over.
181
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,949
We haven't seen
a movie in a theater
182
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:26,950
in probably six months.
183
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,384
We have no life.
184
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,186
We're at the movies
literally every night.
185
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,055
Yeah.
186
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,625
On the other hand, there's
just something about it.
187
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:38,060
It's like all my
priorities changed
188
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,863
the day we found out
we were having Kirby.
189
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,865
And when they smile at
you and call you Daddy,
190
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,133
I'll tell you what,
it's the best.
191
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:47,403
Oh, Marc! I know.
Maybe it's time.
192
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,571
You know, having a baby
193
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:51,541
really does ruin your
body, though, Abby.
194
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:59,048
It... it... it never comes back.
195
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:02,118
Except for you.
196
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,487
Thanks.
197
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:07,123
Can I hold him? Oh, sure.
198
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:10,459
Watch out, Abby.
That one's a drooler.
199
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,461
Hey there. Oh, look, Marc.
200
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,463
Hey there. Hello.
201
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,566
I have very small feet.
202
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,003
Hey, Marc, what's the
deal with capers, huh?
203
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,626
I don't know.
204
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,375
Okay, here's our home
phone, my work phone,
205
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,443
Marc's work phone,
206
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,912
our e-mail, which is always
207
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,747
the best way to reach
us, and cell phone.
208
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,549
Oh, great. Thanks.
All right, guys.
209
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,084
Thanks a lot. Sure.
You're welcome.
210
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,386
See you tomorrow.
All right. Bye-bye.
211
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,410
Bye.
212
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,092
Wow. Work phone, home phone,
213
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,326
cell phone, e-mail.
214
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:47,229
Yeah, they really don't
wanna lose touch, do they?
215
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,665
It's good, though.
216
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,967
You know, now our friends
are friends with each other.
217
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,835
It's nice when you
can make that happen.
218
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,837
Yeah, absolutely.
219
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:58,964
Son of a bitch. They
stole the Shmenkmans.
220
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:09,118
Arthur, got a package for you!
221
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,888
It's my Deep-sea Corn Loops.
222
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,190
Sweet diggity!
223
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,458
[RIPPING CARDBOARD]
224
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,226
Whoa! You gotta sign here first.
225
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,151
Oh, I see. So, that's how
you're gonna play it, huh?
226
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,699
I'm not playing anything.
227
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,034
You gotta sign it.
That's our policy.
228
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,669
Well, you must
think I'm a damn fool.
229
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,471
I sign your fancy
electric doodad,
230
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,606
and you got me.
231
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,742
I'm in your computer,
232
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,543
I'm on your list, and
pretty soon, you know
233
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,669
what videos I rent, and
I'm considered a pervert.
234
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:45,354
I'm begging you.
235
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,811
All right.
236
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:57,166
Thanks. "Schmarther Schmooner."
237
00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,036
Okay. You beat the system.
238
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:04,107
Douglas, get some milk
and prepare to be delighted.
239
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:06,097
Oh, okay.
240
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,252
Gotta use your hands, huh?
241
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,254
You know, you can tilt the box.
242
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,656
That's the way most people go.
243
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,658
Well, I'm not most people.
244
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:22,682
Mmm.
245
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,062
Mmm.
246
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,063
Oh!
247
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,487
This is taking me back.
248
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,664
Give it a try. All right.
249
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:51,921
They're salty.
250
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:56,192
And what part of "Sergeant
Salty" didn't you understand?
251
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,894
I understand what "salty" means.
252
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,762
It's just not a great
quality in a cereal.
253
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,964
These were beloved by millions.
254
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,132
I don't care.
255
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,534
Cereal shouldn't
taste like a Slim Jim.
256
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:10,561
Sweet diggity. Are you ignorant.
257
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:13,843
Hey, hon. Hey.
258
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,611
Mmm.
259
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:16,746
What's in the box?
260
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,971
A life supply of Stinky Loops.
261
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:26,956
Good, good. So, listen, I just
got off the phone with Kelly,
262
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,224
and it's official:
263
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,693
She and Deacon are going
out with the Shmenkmans.
264
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:31,694
Really?
265
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,163
Yup. Dinner this Saturday night.
266
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,132
Ain't that a kick in the chops?
267
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,533
I knew we shouldn't
have let them
268
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:38,567
leave together after the brunch.
269
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,936
We should've kept
one couple here.
270
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,403
You're so right.
271
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,473
We had them. We had them
right here. What happened?
272
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:47,110
I'm sure your burping
in the middle of brunch
273
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,711
didn't help matters.
274
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:52,514
Whoa. What just happened here?
275
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,550
Are you blaming this on me?
276
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,886
No. I'm just saying
it might be possible
277
00:12:56,910 --> 00:13:00,790
that not everyone enjoys a
sausagey burp as much as I do,
278
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:03,993
which, p.s., is not that much.
279
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,695
Okay, yeah, yeah. And
you telling them about
280
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,564
your deviated septum
surgery for 40 minutes,
281
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:09,799
that's really what
won them over.
282
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,067
They asked.
283
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,136
Yes, but you know what?
Here's a nice little phrase
284
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,536
you might wanna
learn in the future:
285
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,073
it's called, "long story short."
286
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,842
Okay. And here's one for you:
287
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:25,114
"No, thanks. I'm full."
288
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,671
Wow.
289
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,551
Honey, I'm sorry.
290
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:32,288
We shouldn't be
turning on each other.
291
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,689
This is just such a rough one.
292
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:36,425
I mean, now we've lost the
Shmenkmans and Deacon and Kelly.
293
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:39,262
Deacon and Kelly, they
were solid, you know?
294
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:42,265
They weren't flashy,
but they got the job done.
295
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,667
Hang on. We haven't
really lost anyone.
296
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,302
I mean, they're just
going out to dinner.
297
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,369
That's where it starts.
298
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,570
First they're going
to dinner together,
299
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:49,772
then they're going
to the movies,
300
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,707
then they're going
on vacation together,
301
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,709
and the next thing you know,
we're watching their slides
302
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,612
from Disney World
and dying inside.
303
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,182
Well, you know what? The
Shmenkmans, they're fine.
304
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,184
But you know,
they're not that great.
305
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,685
I guess not.
306
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,386
And there are plenty
of other couples
307
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,688
we can go out with.
308
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,389
That's true. That is so true.
309
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:08,825
Couples are a dime a dozen.
310
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:11,294
You can't spit without
hitting a couple in this town.
311
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,929
Absolutely right.
312
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,964
So... who you got?
313
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:18,234
Okay, let me
think, let me think.
314
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,902
What about... Oh, no.
315
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:22,160
They're dead.
316
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,413
I know! That is so true.
317
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,082
Is Japanese okay?
318
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,051
Oh, yeah. There's a
great place over on 58th.
319
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,475
Maybe I'll get udon.
320
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,460
Kim, right? Kim... Milner?
321
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,562
Right. Accounting.
You just started?
322
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:47,897
Yeah. And you're, uh...
323
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,732
Carrie Heffernan. I'm
Grossman's secretary.
324
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,634
Oh, I thought I recognized
you, and I was right, I did. Hi!
325
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,837
Hi. Gary Milner. How are you?
326
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,927
Hi, Gary.
327
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:03,467
Would you guys
like to go out tonight?
328
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:11,020
I can't wait to see this.
329
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,488
I hear Kevin Spacey is amazing.
330
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,790
He's always great. The
man's a national treasure.
331
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,526
Red hot, anyone?
Oh, yeah, all right.
332
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,063
Oh, great. Here you go.
333
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:24,600
Whoa! Spicy.
334
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:29,338
Speaking of spices,
how about pepper, huh?
335
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,940
You know when
you go to a restaurant
336
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,108
and the waiter comes around
337
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,709
and asks if you want
fresh ground pepper?
338
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,445
I could never decide. Oh,
yeah. That's kind of true.
339
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,048
And they do that with
the parmesan cheese too.
340
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,183
Yes, yes, they do.
341
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,567
He's good. I can work with him.
342
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,324
So, you guys thinking
about having kids?
343
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:51,860
What? You know, babies...
344
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,396
Offspring?
345
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,754
We're brother and sister.
346
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,282
Hello, darlings.
It's Saturday night.
347
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,384
Aren't you going out?
348
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,286
No. We don't have any plans.
349
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,289
Deacon and Kelly
couldn't get a sitter?
350
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,892
Actually, they did. They're
just out with someone else.
351
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:27,796
What about that other lovely
couple you had over for brunch?
352
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,231
They seemed like a lot of fun.
353
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,533
Back it down, okay? The
lady said we had no plans.
354
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:37,695
Okay! Okay! Cool
your jets, Eddie!
355
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,420
You know, Dad, if you don't
like those salty corn loops,
356
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,856
you don't have to
eat all hundred boxes.
357
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,191
Has he been talking to you?
358
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:58,427
Have you been
bad-mouthing my cereal?
359
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:01,597
Yes. It's all I talk about.
360
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,966
Well, I love this
cereal. I love it.
361
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,436
You may not because you're
an angry man, but I love it.
362
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,672
Okay. God bless. Enjoy.
363
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,308
Oh, who am I kidding?
364
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:16,879
It's disgusting.
Besides which...
365
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:20,616
I'm so very thirsty.
366
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,519
You know what? Maybe
we would feel better
367
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,354
if we just got out of the house.
368
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,390
All right, yeah. What
do you wanna do?
369
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,591
I don't know. You wanna
try out that new steak house?
370
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:35,186
Do I wanna? You
plus beef equals fun.
371
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,569
Whoa. This place is nice.
372
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,039
You're right. The sweats
wouldn't have worked.
373
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,573
Table for 2? Yeah.
374
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:47,231
This way. Thanks.
375
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,647
Oh, no. What?
376
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,850
They're here. They
took my recommendation,
377
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:56,852
and they used it
behind our backs.
378
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,055
Can you believe that?
379
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,023
What do we do?
Let's get out of here.
380
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:04,693
Hey! Hey, man! Hey!
381
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,628
Hi, you guys! Ohh!
382
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,064
What's going on, you guys?
383
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,465
We just came by for some steak.
384
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,068
And possibly a blooming onion.
385
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,970
We stole your little
tip on this place. Sorry.
386
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,195
Hey, where's a cop, right?
387
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,946
You want to join us?
We could squeeze in.
388
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,215
No, no. You guys
already have your food.
389
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,649
No, don't be silly!
390
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,917
You know, what?
391
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,319
We're having a little
romantic celebration, anyway.
392
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,154
It's Doug's... half-birthday.
393
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,155
So you guys enjoy, okay?
394
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:37,493
Okay. All right, man.
395
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,262
Uncomfortable.
396
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,298
I know...
397
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,066
Maybe we should
sit down with them.
398
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,067
No.
399
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,268
Carrie, they asked
us to sit down.
400
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,104
Yeah, it was a pity-ask, okay?
401
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,172
They don't really
wanna sit with us.
402
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,575
[LAUGHING]
403
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:55,877
Do you hear that? Every
laugh is another inside joke
404
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,413
we're not a part of.
405
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,014
I think we should
go back in there.
406
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,015
You think so?
407
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,050
Yes! Let's go over to the table,
408
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,253
kick it up a notch, and
show them we're the fun,
409
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,954
great couple we know we are.
410
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,257
And we are, damn it.
411
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,127
We're the Heffernans!
412
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,451
We've got... Heffer-vescence.
413
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,367
Let's go.
414
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,537
Hey, changed our
minds. Decided to join you.
415
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,872
And we come bearing bread.
416
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,141
We'll scooch over.
417
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,910
Okay, great, thank you.
So, wassup, meat-eaters?
418
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:33,516
Oh! This is like a Sunday
brunch reunion, right?
419
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,151
Ha, ha! Yeah, right.
420
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,219
Ready to order?
Yeah, I believe we are.
421
00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:39,421
We'll start off with a
bottle of wine for the table...
422
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,422
On us.
423
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,458
Thanks, guys. Thank you.
424
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,925
Red, white?
425
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:46,128
I don't care if our wine
is red, white, or purple.
426
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,464
As long as it gets us loopy.
427
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,766
Whoa! Sorry, guy.
428
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,368
Ma'am?
429
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,403
I'm gonna have the salmon.
430
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,937
Whoa! Fish in a steak house.
431
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,540
What is she, a witch? Get her!
432
00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,008
I think she is. Witchy!
433
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,379
Hey, the porterhouse
is really good, man.
434
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,247
Is it, really? Okay,
then porterhouse it is.
435
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,782
Actually, porterhouse
sounds like a lot.
436
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:10,286
How about a porter-hut?
437
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,189
Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!
438
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:16,091
Thank you very
much. All right. Okay.
439
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,894
So, what is going
on over here, huh?
440
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,363
Heard a lot of laughing.
441
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,364
Abby?
442
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,832
Actually, I was just
telling these guys
443
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,490
that Marc and I have definitely
decided to have a baby.
444
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,172
Oh! That's great.
445
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,807
Yeah! Way to go, you two!
446
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,276
You wanna hear something weird?
447
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:37,580
Uh, Carrie and I have
decided to have one too.
448
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:40,683
ABBY: Really?
449
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:43,686
Yup! Yup! Race you!
450
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,390
Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!
451
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:51,227
You know they're
gonna start expecting me
452
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,695
to grow a big belly.
453
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:55,331
Unless I happen to have
a very low sperm count.
454
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:58,934
Yes, yes. There you go.
455
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:02,638
Of course, once we don't
have a baby, and they do,
456
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:05,674
we're back to square
one, friend-wise.
457
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:09,433
Who cares? Friends just
keep you away from TV.
458
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,418
Oh, look. Someone's
car broke down.
459
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,754
Should we pull over
and help them out?
460
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,356
Yeah. They look nice.
461
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:24,159
Actually, they look very nice.
462
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:27,463
Young couple... About our age...
463
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:32,501
Well-dressed... Miata,
2-seater, means no kids.
464
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,925
Let's make some friends.
465
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,442
So what do you
guys like? Rock, jazz?
466
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,078
Hey, we just went to this
great steak house tonight.
467
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:46,749
We should all go sometime. Yeah.
468
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,550
Yeah, uh, there's a gas
station right up there.
469
00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:49,951
That one? You
don't want their gas.
470
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,153
It makes your engine knock.
471
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,188
I'll take you to my place.
472
00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:54,790
Hey, when we go
to that steak house,
473
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,192
you gotta watch out for the
guy with the big pepper mill.
474
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:59,161
Hey, what's the deal
with those anyway?
475
00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:00,851
What's up with that?
476
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,857
[♪♪♪]