1 00:21:47,927 --> 00:21:50,361 I tell you, Douglas, that bank is stealing my money. 2 00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:53,718 For the last time, it's a service charge. Get in the car. 3 00:21:54,167 --> 00:21:56,044 Thieves! 4 00:21:56,287 --> 00:21:58,278 It's a dollar. Let it go. 5 00:22:01,367 --> 00:22:03,244 - Can you give me a second, please? - It's locked. 6 00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,483 - I know, you gotta wait one sec, okay? - Try it now? 7 00:22:05,687 --> 00:22:07,040 - No, not yet. Every time- - Now? 8 00:22:07,247 --> 00:22:10,319 - No, not yet. When you keep doing- - Now? Now? Now? 9 00:22:10,527 --> 00:22:12,483 All right, you know what? Step away from the car. 10 00:22:12,727 --> 00:22:15,400 Sit down on the curb, I'll come around and let you in. 11 00:22:35,007 --> 00:22:36,360 Hey, honey. Come here. 12 00:22:36,607 --> 00:22:38,325 What? What now? 13 00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:40,922 I got my boxes out of storage today. Look at all this. 14 00:22:41,167 --> 00:22:45,718 Your mother's old things, ukulele, Communist Party literature... 15 00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:48,283 Oh, and here we go. 16 00:22:48,487 --> 00:22:50,842 I think you know what these are. 17 00:22:51,607 --> 00:22:53,359 Your photo albums. 18 00:22:53,607 --> 00:22:54,926 I've seen those. 19 00:22:55,127 --> 00:22:56,719 A lot. 20 00:22:57,647 --> 00:22:59,842 Come on. It's gonna happen. 21 00:23:00,047 --> 00:23:01,924 Don't fight it. 22 00:23:05,807 --> 00:23:07,445 Honey? 23 00:23:07,847 --> 00:23:08,836 We're out of jerky. 24 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:10,679 Oh, you're right. I am so sorry. 25 00:23:10,887 --> 00:23:14,482 Why don't you come have a seat right there... 26 00:23:14,687 --> 00:23:16,803 Sit right there, and I'm gonna go... 27 00:23:17,567 --> 00:23:19,398 ...do something else. 28 00:23:26,527 --> 00:23:27,801 Honey? 29 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:30,877 Here's another beaut. 30 00:23:31,607 --> 00:23:35,725 Ocean City, 1958. That's me in the pompadour. 31 00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:38,044 There we are in Hershey, Pennsylvania, 32 00:23:38,247 --> 00:23:40,203 getting the chocolate tour. 33 00:23:40,607 --> 00:23:43,838 And there's what a flesh-eating bacteria can do to the human hand. 34 00:23:45,607 --> 00:23:48,246 There's the lake at Camp Wigwam. 35 00:23:48,447 --> 00:23:50,324 And there's me in the trenches with Mickey Dugan, 36 00:23:50,527 --> 00:23:52,165 right after his leg got blown off. 37 00:23:53,167 --> 00:23:55,727 Wow, maybe you should think about organizing these a little, huh? 38 00:23:55,927 --> 00:23:56,962 What do you mean? 39 00:23:57,167 --> 00:23:58,885 I don't know. Maybe get two books, you know? 40 00:23:59,087 --> 00:24:03,365 One for family stuff and one for bloody carnage. 41 00:24:03,687 --> 00:24:06,121 Look at that. Little Carrie. 42 00:24:06,367 --> 00:24:08,835 - Look at her, what is she, about 10? - Yeah. 43 00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:11,481 Oh, look at her here. She's just a little baby in the bathtub. 44 00:24:11,687 --> 00:24:14,326 Look at that tushy, I could just bite it. 45 00:24:15,607 --> 00:24:18,644 - That's me. - Damn it, Arthur! 46 00:24:18,847 --> 00:24:21,407 Organise these, would you? 47 00:24:26,647 --> 00:24:28,319 Hey, who's that? 48 00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:31,765 That's my first wife, Sophia. Carrie's mom. 49 00:24:31,967 --> 00:24:33,605 - It is? - Yeah. 50 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:37,083 That's up in the Catskills, about a year before she passed. 51 00:24:37,287 --> 00:24:39,437 Wow, I didn't realise she was so... 52 00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:40,915 Fat? 53 00:24:41,767 --> 00:24:43,086 Oh, yeah. Big girI. 54 00:24:43,327 --> 00:24:45,363 But I've seen other pictures of her. She wasn't so... 55 00:24:45,607 --> 00:24:46,881 Fat? 56 00:24:47,967 --> 00:24:50,720 Yeah, she was slim like Carrie when I first met her, 57 00:24:50,927 --> 00:24:52,679 but eventually she just got, you know. 58 00:24:52,887 --> 00:24:55,242 - Fat? - Hey, you're talking about my wife! 59 00:24:57,447 --> 00:24:58,960 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 60 00:25:00,007 --> 00:25:01,520 Don't worry about it. 61 00:25:01,727 --> 00:25:04,321 Actually, I didn't mind a bit. 62 00:25:04,527 --> 00:25:07,121 Just so much more to love. 63 00:25:07,367 --> 00:25:09,562 Then you must have adored her. 64 00:25:11,487 --> 00:25:13,045 You know, it's funny. 65 00:25:13,247 --> 00:25:15,920 All the women in that family start out thin, 66 00:25:16,127 --> 00:25:18,402 and then just blow up. 67 00:25:19,287 --> 00:25:20,959 Must be the genes. 68 00:25:28,767 --> 00:25:31,327 Honey, funny thing at the office today. 69 00:25:31,487 --> 00:25:33,637 Somebody shoves a birthday card in front of me 70 00:25:33,847 --> 00:25:35,724 and says, "We're all signing it, it's for Chris. " 71 00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:38,202 I'm thinking it's Chris, the kid who runs the copy machine, 72 00:25:38,407 --> 00:25:42,605 so I write, "Happy birthday to the sexiest thing in the office", right? 73 00:25:42,887 --> 00:25:44,957 Turns out, 74 00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:49,524 that it's for Christine, the senior partner. 75 00:25:50,287 --> 00:25:53,723 So either I'm fired or I got a new girlfriend. 76 00:25:55,927 --> 00:25:57,121 Honey, what's the matter? 77 00:25:57,887 --> 00:25:59,320 Nothing. 78 00:25:59,527 --> 00:26:01,882 Well, you had a weird look on your face. 79 00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:06,006 No, I was just thinking how beautifuI you are, 80 00:26:06,207 --> 00:26:10,439 and how happy I am with the life that we built together. 81 00:26:12,567 --> 00:26:14,159 Whatever. 82 00:26:21,487 --> 00:26:23,079 Hey, what are you doing? 83 00:26:23,287 --> 00:26:25,357 I thought I'd pick you up, carry you over to the bed. 84 00:26:25,567 --> 00:26:27,239 It's romantic. 85 00:26:27,607 --> 00:26:29,086 Okay. 86 00:26:39,767 --> 00:26:41,678 Hey, you. 87 00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:43,836 It's romantic, huh? 88 00:26:44,487 --> 00:26:46,318 Not yet. 89 00:26:48,927 --> 00:26:50,280 All right. 90 00:26:50,487 --> 00:26:52,318 There you go. 91 00:26:52,647 --> 00:26:54,205 Hey, that was great. 92 00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:56,483 I'm gonna go watch the news, okay? 93 00:27:02,647 --> 00:27:04,524 Did you see what they did to the snack machine? 94 00:27:04,767 --> 00:27:06,359 You know G-11, the big cookie? 95 00:27:06,607 --> 00:27:09,644 Now it's raisins, the yellow ones. What the hell is that about? 96 00:27:10,207 --> 00:27:12,926 Hey, Deac, let me ask you. Do you think Carrie's gained weight? 97 00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:14,156 What? 98 00:27:14,407 --> 00:27:16,284 Carrie, my wife. Do you think she's gained weight? 99 00:27:16,487 --> 00:27:17,602 Couple pounds maybe? 100 00:27:17,847 --> 00:27:21,157 I don't know. Every time I see her, she's blocked by you. 101 00:27:23,887 --> 00:27:25,605 I know I'm fat, all right? That's a given. 102 00:27:25,847 --> 00:27:28,680 Oh, good, because I didn't wanna have to break that to you, you know? 103 00:27:28,887 --> 00:27:31,276 Yeah, but you know what, I'm not gaining, okay? I've plateaued. 104 00:27:31,487 --> 00:27:33,603 Everything now is just maintenance. 105 00:27:33,847 --> 00:27:37,367 Even if she has gained some weight, there's nothing you can do about it. 106 00:27:37,402 --> 00:27:39,198 Sure there is. I can talk to her about it. 107 00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:40,840 Actually, I'm gonna. 108 00:27:42,447 --> 00:27:44,403 Let me ask you a question. 109 00:27:44,607 --> 00:27:47,997 Would you say, basically, your life is good right now? 110 00:27:48,207 --> 00:27:50,767 - Yeah. - Good wife, good job, the whole thing? 111 00:27:51,447 --> 00:27:54,245 - Yeah. - Don't pick at it. 112 00:27:55,167 --> 00:27:56,885 Carrie and I have a very open relationship. 113 00:27:57,087 --> 00:27:59,237 We talk about things. I think I can bring it up. 114 00:27:59,487 --> 00:28:01,762 Oh, really? Well, let me tell you a little story. 115 00:28:01,967 --> 00:28:04,561 Last summer, I noticed that Kelly had put on about 15 pounds, 116 00:28:04,767 --> 00:28:09,045 so I figured, like you, that I'd bring it up, all casuaI, 117 00:28:09,247 --> 00:28:11,522 like really supportive and everything. 118 00:28:13,687 --> 00:28:17,236 It's been seven months, okay, and my life still isn't back to normaI. 119 00:28:17,447 --> 00:28:19,915 She was so mad at me that she kept the 15 pounds, 120 00:28:20,127 --> 00:28:23,403 and gained another 10, just as spite-weight. 121 00:28:23,647 --> 00:28:26,002 You know what? I think Carrie can take constructive criticism 122 00:28:26,207 --> 00:28:27,720 a little bit better than Kelly. 123 00:28:27,967 --> 00:28:31,482 Okay, fine. Then go with God. 124 00:29:05,567 --> 00:29:07,285 What happened to my coffee cake? 125 00:29:07,607 --> 00:29:08,960 What? 126 00:29:10,127 --> 00:29:11,480 You ate my cake? 127 00:29:11,727 --> 00:29:13,558 Was that yours? 128 00:29:13,967 --> 00:29:17,357 Well, I put it on my plate. I didn't think I had to labeI it. 129 00:29:18,087 --> 00:29:19,964 Whatever, I'll just have a doughnut or something. 130 00:29:20,167 --> 00:29:21,236 Hey, you know what? 131 00:29:22,207 --> 00:29:24,243 Don't scream. What? 132 00:29:24,487 --> 00:29:26,717 I was just thinking. You know what? You're right. 133 00:29:26,927 --> 00:29:28,918 I shouldn't have eaten that coffee cake, you know? 134 00:29:29,327 --> 00:29:32,524 I'm so fat, you know? 135 00:29:32,727 --> 00:29:34,558 I just really need to lose some weight. 136 00:29:35,927 --> 00:29:37,645 You know what? We should go on a diet together 137 00:29:37,847 --> 00:29:39,439 so I could take some of this off. 138 00:29:41,007 --> 00:29:42,076 We? 139 00:29:42,567 --> 00:29:45,001 Yeah, you know, I feeI bloated, you know? 140 00:29:45,207 --> 00:29:49,962 Very disgusting right now, and I just really feeI, 141 00:29:50,207 --> 00:29:52,198 if we went on a diet, that... 142 00:29:53,647 --> 00:29:54,875 ...it'd really do the trick. 143 00:29:55,487 --> 00:29:57,603 And is there a reason you keep saying "we"? 144 00:29:57,847 --> 00:30:00,407 Yeah, it's just like: 145 00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:03,397 "We're on a diet!" 146 00:30:04,607 --> 00:30:06,563 What do you think, I'm an idiot? 147 00:30:08,007 --> 00:30:10,885 If you want me to lose weight, why don't you just come out and say it? 148 00:30:11,927 --> 00:30:14,805 Okay, look, I know it's ridiculous for me to be bringing this up. 149 00:30:15,007 --> 00:30:18,238 I mean, look at me, I look like I'm in my 12th trimester here. 150 00:30:19,647 --> 00:30:21,763 Maybe it is possible that over the last couple of years, 151 00:30:21,967 --> 00:30:26,677 you have gained a few tiny, tiny pounds. 152 00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:32,405 It is so not a big deaI, Carrie. I mean, Deacon's wife... 153 00:30:32,607 --> 00:30:36,646 He said she gained, like, 15 pounds. So, by comparison, this is nothing. 154 00:30:37,167 --> 00:30:38,441 You talked to Deacon about this? 155 00:30:38,687 --> 00:30:40,962 No, I would never do that. No. 156 00:30:44,607 --> 00:30:47,246 Honey, I shouldn't have ever brought this up, I'm sorry. 157 00:30:48,087 --> 00:30:51,762 It's- You're right, I... 158 00:30:52,087 --> 00:30:55,204 Maybe I have put on a few pounds, but I will take it off. 159 00:30:55,567 --> 00:30:57,717 - Only if you're okay with it. - I said I would, I will. 160 00:30:57,927 --> 00:30:59,997 - Okay. - Okay. 161 00:31:00,207 --> 00:31:02,767 - Well, great. - Great. 162 00:31:03,327 --> 00:31:05,716 Hey, baby, who's my best girI, huh? 163 00:31:08,127 --> 00:31:10,038 You are. 164 00:31:36,167 --> 00:31:37,725 Hey, what do you got there? 165 00:31:38,087 --> 00:31:39,725 Three ounces of poached haddock. 166 00:31:39,927 --> 00:31:41,485 Nice. 167 00:31:41,687 --> 00:31:43,678 We're dining in style tonight, huh? 168 00:31:45,087 --> 00:31:48,159 Greetings, one and all. Sorry I'm late, 169 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:53,845 but I was going through those boxes and found my old little black book. 170 00:31:55,447 --> 00:31:57,836 Sit down, Dad. Dinner's ready. 171 00:31:58,087 --> 00:31:59,998 Lenore Bickle. 172 00:32:00,567 --> 00:32:02,922 I should give that little hottie a call. 173 00:32:04,567 --> 00:32:08,799 I wonder if she's still at Klondike 50197. 174 00:32:09,047 --> 00:32:12,722 Maybe after dinner you can ask Myrtle to patch you through. 175 00:32:13,887 --> 00:32:16,481 Dinner Italiano. 176 00:32:17,647 --> 00:32:19,239 Aren't you having anything, sweetheart? 177 00:32:19,487 --> 00:32:21,159 No. I'm on a diet. 178 00:32:22,527 --> 00:32:25,485 You kids with your dieting and your health. 179 00:32:25,687 --> 00:32:29,566 In my day, we dropped dead of a massive coronary in our mid-50s 180 00:32:29,767 --> 00:32:31,280 and we liked it. 181 00:32:36,087 --> 00:32:37,645 It's fine, Dad. I wanted to lose weight. 182 00:32:37,847 --> 00:32:40,998 Honey, could you pass the I Can't Believe It's Not Salad Dressing? 183 00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:44,919 Thank you. 184 00:32:49,567 --> 00:32:51,797 All right, this is stupid. You don't need to lose weight. 185 00:32:52,007 --> 00:32:54,362 - You're fine the way you are. - No, no, no, I'm doing this. 186 00:32:54,567 --> 00:32:56,285 Here, let me give you some spaghetti. 187 00:32:56,487 --> 00:32:58,921 No, Doug, please. Would you just leave me alone? 188 00:32:59,127 --> 00:33:01,766 All right, if you're going on a diet, then I'm going on a diet. 189 00:33:01,967 --> 00:33:05,721 Hey, stop with the diet talk! It's crazy. 190 00:33:06,727 --> 00:33:09,480 Actually, you could lose a few pounds. 191 00:33:10,087 --> 00:33:12,362 Well, I intend to, okay? I'll tell you that right now. 192 00:33:12,567 --> 00:33:15,604 I'm gonna fix myself a nice plate right here. 193 00:33:15,807 --> 00:33:18,002 Good hunk of haddock, 194 00:33:18,367 --> 00:33:20,562 some veggies, 195 00:33:20,767 --> 00:33:24,203 and I am golden. 196 00:33:40,407 --> 00:33:41,886 Honey, was that enough for you? 197 00:33:42,327 --> 00:33:44,124 Oh, yeah. Plenty. 198 00:33:44,327 --> 00:33:46,443 Couldn't eat another drop. 199 00:33:47,607 --> 00:33:49,563 Sweet broccoli. 200 00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:06,079 Honey, I gotta tell you, I am loving this celery. 201 00:34:06,607 --> 00:34:08,916 And unlike a chilli dog, no mess in the bed. 202 00:34:10,887 --> 00:34:11,842 Flannels? 203 00:34:12,047 --> 00:34:14,515 What happened to that cute number you were wearing last night? 204 00:34:16,807 --> 00:34:18,320 What are those on your p. j. 's? 205 00:34:20,047 --> 00:34:21,605 Ducks. 206 00:34:23,247 --> 00:34:26,876 You know, I've always been a little attracted to ducks. 207 00:34:27,567 --> 00:34:30,365 Webbed feet, feathers. 208 00:34:30,687 --> 00:34:32,837 Flying in a V. 209 00:34:38,167 --> 00:34:39,919 What's the matter? 210 00:34:40,127 --> 00:34:43,836 I guess I'm a little tired from being so fat. 211 00:34:44,647 --> 00:34:47,320 Come on, Carrie. I should have never brought this up. 212 00:34:47,567 --> 00:34:49,285 That stupid picture. 213 00:34:49,527 --> 00:34:50,880 What picture? 214 00:34:51,127 --> 00:34:52,606 When your Dad was showing me the albums, 215 00:34:52,807 --> 00:34:54,684 there was this picture of your mother, and I- 216 00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:57,316 Oh, I get it, so because my mom gained a lot of weight, 217 00:34:57,527 --> 00:34:59,006 you're afraid I'm going to? 218 00:34:59,687 --> 00:35:02,281 No, not afraid. 219 00:35:02,487 --> 00:35:05,081 Just mildly aware. 220 00:35:05,927 --> 00:35:06,996 Come on, I really wanna know. 221 00:35:07,247 --> 00:35:10,603 How would you feeI if I did end up looking like my mother? 222 00:35:10,807 --> 00:35:13,116 I'd be fine with it. 223 00:35:16,407 --> 00:35:20,195 Doug, I could see your reflection in the window. 224 00:35:44,927 --> 00:35:46,997 - What did you do? What did you do? - What? 225 00:35:47,207 --> 00:35:49,437 You told Carrie what I said about my wife being overweight? 226 00:35:49,687 --> 00:35:52,121 What? I don't- I think you're wrong. 227 00:35:52,367 --> 00:35:54,039 I'm not wrong. They talk. 228 00:35:54,247 --> 00:35:56,078 Damn it, what are you doing to me, huh? 229 00:35:57,047 --> 00:35:59,117 I thought I'd make Carrie feeI better. I didn't think- 230 00:35:59,327 --> 00:36:02,524 That's right, you didn't think. Seven months of work, undone. 231 00:36:02,727 --> 00:36:04,763 I came home last night and Kelly was weeping 232 00:36:04,967 --> 00:36:07,800 and giving me the finger at the same time. 233 00:36:08,447 --> 00:36:10,597 Never seen that before. 234 00:36:11,487 --> 00:36:13,443 If it's any consolation to you, my life is hell too. 235 00:36:13,687 --> 00:36:16,155 - That does make me feeI better. - Now I'm on a diet. 236 00:36:16,407 --> 00:36:18,204 Carrie won't sleep with me. 237 00:36:18,407 --> 00:36:20,443 No sex. No food. 238 00:36:20,647 --> 00:36:23,923 If the cable goes out, I'm gonna have to kill myself. 239 00:36:24,367 --> 00:36:26,927 Didn't I warn you not to pick at your life? 240 00:36:27,087 --> 00:36:30,477 - Hey, what's on that? - But you couldn't listen, could you? No. 241 00:36:30,687 --> 00:36:33,565 "We talk. We communicate. " 242 00:36:33,767 --> 00:36:35,758 Look at you now. 243 00:36:52,887 --> 00:36:55,355 - Hey, Dad. - Hello, darling. Where were you? 244 00:36:55,607 --> 00:36:56,562 At the gym. 245 00:36:56,767 --> 00:36:58,837 Nothing like jumping jacks and the old vibrating belt 246 00:36:59,047 --> 00:37:01,038 to get you in the pink, huh? 247 00:37:02,127 --> 00:37:04,163 - Right. - Look what I found in here. 248 00:37:04,367 --> 00:37:06,198 Some pictures from your wedding. 249 00:37:06,527 --> 00:37:07,562 What year was that? 250 00:37:08,447 --> 00:37:09,960 Ninety-five. 251 00:37:11,567 --> 00:37:14,161 That was a simpler time, wasn't it? 252 00:37:15,327 --> 00:37:18,205 Oh, look at me in my wedding dress. 253 00:37:18,407 --> 00:37:21,240 - I looked good, didn't I? - Breathtaking. 254 00:37:21,447 --> 00:37:24,325 Well, those days are gone. 255 00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:27,720 What are you talking about? 256 00:37:27,927 --> 00:37:29,997 Now I'm just getting older and gaining weight, 257 00:37:30,207 --> 00:37:34,997 and before I know it, I'm just gonna be big and fat and not attractive anymore. 258 00:37:35,967 --> 00:37:36,922 You're crazy. 259 00:37:37,127 --> 00:37:39,163 And even if you do gain a little weight, believe me... 260 00:37:40,087 --> 00:37:42,203 - ... men like that. - No, they don't. 261 00:37:42,407 --> 00:37:45,604 Oh, no? Look at this. 262 00:37:46,167 --> 00:37:48,044 Look at the women in here. 263 00:37:48,247 --> 00:37:50,397 Full-figured and voluptuous. 264 00:37:50,607 --> 00:37:52,484 This is a men's magazine. 265 00:37:52,687 --> 00:37:55,121 This is what men like. 266 00:37:57,247 --> 00:38:00,796 "Va-Voom. ApriI, 1951." 267 00:38:05,727 --> 00:38:08,446 Okay, so what was the big emergency? 268 00:38:08,687 --> 00:38:09,836 Okay. 269 00:38:10,047 --> 00:38:11,685 Here's the thing. 270 00:38:12,407 --> 00:38:14,637 What would make you feeI better if someone told you 271 00:38:14,847 --> 00:38:16,678 you'd gained a couple pounds? 272 00:38:17,807 --> 00:38:18,956 Oh, my God. 273 00:38:19,167 --> 00:38:21,556 You called me all the way down here just to tell me I look fat? 274 00:38:22,687 --> 00:38:24,803 What, in a crowded bar, to keep me from making a scene? 275 00:38:25,047 --> 00:38:27,163 Will you relax? I'm talking about your sister. 276 00:38:27,487 --> 00:38:29,478 Oh, thank God. 277 00:38:29,727 --> 00:38:31,922 I made a stupid comment about her weight, 278 00:38:32,127 --> 00:38:34,925 and I think I might have upset her a little bit. 279 00:38:36,767 --> 00:38:38,280 Seriously though, do I look chubby? 280 00:38:38,727 --> 00:38:39,716 No! 281 00:38:39,967 --> 00:38:42,037 Okay, look, Doug, saying that you've gained weight 282 00:38:42,247 --> 00:38:43,999 is the worst thing you could say to a woman. 283 00:38:44,247 --> 00:38:45,646 It's like, you know, 284 00:38:45,887 --> 00:38:49,402 what if Carrie told you that sometimes you didn't satisfy her sexually? 285 00:38:50,007 --> 00:38:51,759 Did she say that? 286 00:38:52,367 --> 00:38:53,322 No. 287 00:38:54,087 --> 00:38:55,202 Why did you pause? 288 00:38:55,887 --> 00:38:58,242 - Did I pause? - Yes, there was a long pause. 289 00:39:00,087 --> 00:39:01,964 Sara, tell me, did she say that? What did she say? 290 00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:04,562 Okay, she didn't say that, no. 291 00:39:05,847 --> 00:39:07,200 But something like that? 292 00:39:08,767 --> 00:39:11,725 - No, not really. - Another pause. Stop pausing! 293 00:39:11,967 --> 00:39:15,357 Look, I'm just thinking about how fat I am, okay? 294 00:39:15,607 --> 00:39:18,075 - I feeI like I've been shot. - Yeah, well, good luck with that. 295 00:39:27,127 --> 00:39:28,446 Honey? 296 00:39:32,887 --> 00:39:35,560 Lordy, Lordy, Lord. 297 00:39:36,647 --> 00:39:39,036 - Hello. - What are you doing? 298 00:39:39,287 --> 00:39:43,075 I just ate an entire yule log I was saving for Christmas. 299 00:39:43,967 --> 00:39:48,438 Now I'm even fatter, and we have no holiday dessert. 300 00:39:49,567 --> 00:39:51,319 Oh, honey. 301 00:39:51,527 --> 00:39:53,483 You got out your wedding dress. 302 00:39:53,727 --> 00:39:56,287 You were right. I couldn't even zip it up. 303 00:39:56,487 --> 00:39:58,796 I'm just a big, fat fatty. 304 00:40:00,207 --> 00:40:04,166 You just can't reach the zipper. Here, let me. 305 00:40:07,047 --> 00:40:09,163 Okay, inhale a little. 306 00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:12,157 Little more. 307 00:40:13,127 --> 00:40:14,116 There you go. 308 00:40:15,487 --> 00:40:16,715 I'm dizzy. 309 00:40:17,447 --> 00:40:18,960 You know what? 310 00:40:19,527 --> 00:40:21,757 So what? You know, who cares? 311 00:40:21,967 --> 00:40:25,357 You still look great. 312 00:40:25,567 --> 00:40:27,159 No, I don't. 313 00:40:27,407 --> 00:40:29,716 Doug, the day I wore this dress three years ago, 314 00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:31,519 that's the best I'm ever gonna look. 315 00:40:31,727 --> 00:40:32,921 It's all downhill from here. 316 00:40:33,127 --> 00:40:34,401 - It is not downhill. - Yes, it is. 317 00:40:34,607 --> 00:40:36,040 - No, it's not. - Yes, yes, yes, it is. 318 00:40:36,247 --> 00:40:38,363 Look. Look. Look. This is my mother's dress. 319 00:40:38,567 --> 00:40:42,082 One day, I'm gonna fill out this entire thing. 320 00:40:42,327 --> 00:40:44,283 - You know what? Give me the dress. - What? 321 00:40:44,527 --> 00:40:46,245 Give me the dress. 322 00:40:46,767 --> 00:40:49,998 - What are you doing? - I'm gonna put on your mother's dress. 323 00:40:50,247 --> 00:40:51,475 - Why? - Why? 324 00:40:51,727 --> 00:40:53,206 Because it will be way too small for me. 325 00:40:53,407 --> 00:40:55,523 Which means that even if you do get to be as big as her, 326 00:40:55,727 --> 00:40:56,842 I'll still be bigger. 327 00:40:57,047 --> 00:41:01,359 Which means you'll always, always be my skinny wife. 328 00:41:01,847 --> 00:41:04,202 It fits. 329 00:41:09,847 --> 00:41:12,600 Actually, it needs to be taken in a little. 330 00:41:15,847 --> 00:41:17,519 Carrie, just... 331 00:41:17,727 --> 00:41:19,797 I'm begging you to let go of this. 332 00:41:20,247 --> 00:41:22,715 I want you to stop feeling bad. 333 00:41:22,927 --> 00:41:24,565 I want us to laugh. 334 00:41:24,767 --> 00:41:27,327 I want us to have sex. 335 00:41:28,007 --> 00:41:31,317 For the sweet love of God, I want a sandwich. 336 00:41:34,207 --> 00:41:35,640 Listen to me. 337 00:41:35,847 --> 00:41:40,125 I think you're beautifuI. You'll always, always be beautifuI. 338 00:41:40,367 --> 00:41:42,119 - Yeah, right. - Yes. 339 00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:43,959 Right. 340 00:41:44,407 --> 00:41:46,523 But what if I do get fat? 341 00:41:46,727 --> 00:41:50,402 Just come in under a metric ton. 342 00:41:51,167 --> 00:41:53,727 - Or sag? - Hey, sagging is great. 343 00:41:53,967 --> 00:41:57,207 What if I get stretch marks and retain water? 344 00:41:57,242 --> 00:41:58,322 I love water. 345 00:42:03,367 --> 00:42:04,595 Look at you in this thing. 346 00:42:04,807 --> 00:42:07,037 - You're liking this, aren't you? - Yeah. 347 00:42:07,607 --> 00:42:09,006 - You know what's scaring me? - What? 348 00:42:09,207 --> 00:42:10,322 Something feels right. 349 00:42:16,727 --> 00:42:19,400 Douglas, a little advice: 350 00:42:19,607 --> 00:42:21,643 Wear a slip with that. 351 00:42:30,287 --> 00:42:31,686 What a night, huh? 352 00:42:31,887 --> 00:42:33,684 Some Chinese food, 353 00:42:33,887 --> 00:42:36,003 followed by some good deli, 354 00:42:36,207 --> 00:42:39,722 followed by some good loving with the most beautifuI girI I know. 355 00:42:39,927 --> 00:42:43,203 Oh, honey, that's sweet. 356 00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:46,086 So the loving part... 357 00:42:46,287 --> 00:42:49,643 Was my performance to my lady's liking? 358 00:42:51,007 --> 00:42:52,565 Yeah. 359 00:42:54,087 --> 00:42:56,157 What was that pause?