1 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,021 What is it, baby? 2 00:00:39,089 --> 00:00:40,723 I love barbecue shrimp. 3 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,725 I don't know why I ordered the stuffed mushrooms. 4 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:46,078 Uch, I knew this was gonna come back to haunt us. 5 00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:49,698 I saw the word "stuffed" and I just stopped breathing. 6 00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:52,518 What the hell? 7 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,538 That guy over there keeps staring at me. 8 00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:58,774 So? You like it when guys stare at you. 9 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,442 Not all guys. Like, Latino guys. 10 00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:03,229 You know, young, sexy, beautiful smile. 11 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,447 You know, fit but still cut- 12 00:01:05,515 --> 00:01:07,283 yeah, not me. Got it. 13 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,051 He is staring right at me. 14 00:01:09,119 --> 00:01:10,903 Go over there and say something. 15 00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,484 You know, he's probably just staring at these wine bottles. 16 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,208 Look at him, he looks like a real boozer. 17 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,594 Can you just go over there and say something? 18 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,796 You're my husband! You're supposed to protect me. 19 00:01:20,898 --> 00:01:23,282 Yeah, I never agreed to that. Just go. 20 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,924 Hi. Uh, listen, 21 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,853 if you're staring at those wine bottles over there, 22 00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:35,321 I completely understand, it's just that 23 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,423 they're right near my wife's head and she gets confused, 24 00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:39,148 she thinks you're staring at her, so- 25 00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:41,784 actually, I was looking at your wife. 26 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,439 Are you interested in making a substantial amount of money? 27 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,929 I'm listening. 28 00:01:53,997 --> 00:01:55,898 My name's Edward Brill. 29 00:01:55,966 --> 00:01:57,660 I'm in the wig business. 30 00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:01,520 And we pay quite handsomely for quality hair like your wife's. 31 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,458 What are we talking here? 32 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,761 Well, depending on how much she's willing to cut... 33 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,596 $2,000 to $3,000. 34 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,682 Wow. 35 00:02:12,749 --> 00:02:14,950 Think about it. I will. 36 00:02:15,018 --> 00:02:16,969 I see you got the barbecue shrimp. 37 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,138 Please! Help yourself. 38 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:22,374 Oh. Thank you. 39 00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:28,748 Hey, babe. 40 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,566 Hi, honey. 41 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,203 You have such beautiful hair. 42 00:02:34,271 --> 00:02:36,205 Tell ya, I don't know what sheen is, but... 43 00:02:36,273 --> 00:02:38,107 You got it. 44 00:02:38,175 --> 00:02:39,475 Aw. That's really sweet, baby. 45 00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:40,843 Thank you. 46 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,964 What was that? 47 00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:47,466 What was what? 48 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,702 You barely brushed your hair. 49 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,046 You're supposed to do, like, 100 strokes a night. 50 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:52,237 Where'd you hear that? 51 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:55,140 Uh, one Miss Marcia Brady. Come here. Look it. 52 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,577 1, 2, 3- 53 00:02:58,645 --> 00:02:59,978 actually, that feels kinda nice. 54 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:04,617 Of course it does. 4, 5, 6- 55 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,502 you know what I was thinking? 56 00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:07,753 You... 57 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,922 Would look really good... 58 00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,624 With short hair. 59 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:15,355 What are you saying? You just said you loved my long hair. 60 00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:17,296 Yeah, I know, but- 61 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,231 if you love something, you know the saying, 62 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,467 you gotta "set it free"! 63 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,135 What? 64 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,080 Ahem. You know what? Just thinking out loud here- 65 00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:27,640 when we do cut it, we should put it in a bag and sell it. 66 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,842 35, 36. Stop. 67 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,794 What? What are you talking about? 68 00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:34,340 All right, look, the guy tonight at the restaurant was a wig maker. 69 00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:37,600 All right? He says you have beautiful hair we can make a ton of money off! 70 00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,852 You want me to sell my hair? 71 00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,671 Look. I know it sounds weird, but he's talking, like, $3,000. 72 00:03:42,739 --> 00:03:44,189 I really don't care! 73 00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,725 Well, Carrie, cou- 74 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,527 just think about it for a minute, ok? 75 00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,379 First of all, we could really use that money, 76 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,597 and, bonus, we could be helping other people. 77 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:54,066 People who aren't blessed with your 78 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,101 thick, beautiful long hair. 79 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,889 Actually, it would be nice to-to give back. 80 00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:01,540 There you go! 81 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,793 So $3,000, huh? Yes. 82 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:05,604 And the best part about it is a year from now... 83 00:04:05,628 --> 00:04:07,573 You'll have a full head of hair again, bang, $3,000 84 00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:08,764 in the pocket again. 85 00:04:08,899 --> 00:04:11,550 We could do a lot with that money, right? 86 00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:13,345 We can get that pizza oven I've been talking about. 87 00:04:13,369 --> 00:04:18,274 Or, more, we can go on that cruise with Deacon and Kelly! 88 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,008 Better yet, when they come back, 89 00:04:20,076 --> 00:04:21,543 we throw 'em a pizza party! 90 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,176 Fine. Next batch, I got dibs on. 91 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,241 What do you think? 92 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,878 Wow. 93 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,099 Look at you! 94 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:45,834 So it's good? 95 00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:47,530 Look at you. 96 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,955 I know! 97 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,343 Look at you. Mm. 98 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:12,695 Hey, mon, you ready for some island-hopping? 99 00:05:12,762 --> 00:05:14,963 I should have never let him watch "cool runnings." 100 00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,166 Where's Carrie? 101 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:21,620 Uh, she's upstairs working her comb-over. 102 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,422 Haircut not so good? 103 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:27,259 You know moe, from the "three stooges"? 104 00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:29,695 I'd kill for that. 105 00:05:31,048 --> 00:05:33,265 Ta-da! 106 00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:36,318 So, what do you think? 107 00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:38,103 It's really, really... 108 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,271 Sassy? Yes! 109 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:40,539 I know! 110 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,374 That's what the stylist said! 111 00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,226 And you know, it's so easy to manage. 112 00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:46,662 I mean, my hair dries faster than his now. 113 00:05:46,730 --> 00:05:50,566 That's true, it does, it does. Faster. 114 00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:52,044 You know what? I'm gonna go say good bye to my dad. 115 00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,270 Why don't you guys load up the bags in the car, ok? 116 00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:55,420 Oh, honey. 117 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,940 Tell them how I got carded at the liquor store. 118 00:05:58,007 --> 00:06:01,043 Oh. Yeah. Yeah. 119 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:04,279 She did. 'Cause "she looks like a weird boy". 120 00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:11,137 Oh, hey. We're leaving now. 121 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,189 Who the hell are you? 122 00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:24,767 I got my hair cut, dad. 123 00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:28,954 Anyway, we'll be back on Sunday. I made you lasagne. 124 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,556 I'm gonna put it in the oven so you can have it for lunch. 125 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,659 With your hair cut short like that, you know who you look exactly like? 126 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,279 Halle Berry? 127 00:06:37,346 --> 00:06:40,349 Frank Medford. 128 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,185 Ok. 129 00:06:45,188 --> 00:06:47,123 He rented a room from your mom and I 130 00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:48,958 when we first got married. Oh, yeah? 131 00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:51,359 He was always very nice to your mother. 132 00:06:51,428 --> 00:06:52,494 He... 133 00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:55,230 Looked after her when I was away on business. 134 00:06:55,298 --> 00:07:00,101 He moved out rather abruptly around the time she got pregnant with you. 135 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,154 Ok, daddy. I love you. 136 00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:05,274 I'll call you from the boat. 137 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,446 Oh, dear God. 138 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,374 How great is this? We're halfway to Barbados with our best friends, 139 00:07:39,442 --> 00:07:41,743 we have Robert goulet singing to us. 140 00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:44,680 I mean, what else can you ask for? 141 00:07:44,747 --> 00:07:46,181 Not a thing. 142 00:08:08,038 --> 00:08:10,756 What, Deac? You wanna cut in? 143 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,960 dancin' with my wife, but hey, what the heck. 144 00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:18,830 Let's mix it up! Swapsie! 145 00:08:23,619 --> 00:08:25,087 Hey. Hey, all right. 146 00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:27,189 Let's see what you got, big boy. 147 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,257 Right. 148 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,022 Hey, Arthur. 149 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,841 You're late! Late? 150 00:08:45,909 --> 00:08:49,228 You told me 10 minutes ago and told me to be here in 10 minutes. 151 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,997 Let's not waste more time with your pathetic excuses! 152 00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:53,749 Ok. What's going on? 153 00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:56,034 You see that man in there? Yeah. 154 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,989 I have reason to believe he may be Carrie's real father. 155 00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:02,057 What are you talking about? 156 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,525 It's a long story. 157 00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:05,694 Actually, it's pretty short. 158 00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:10,032 I think he boinked Carrie's mother. 159 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,770 If there was only some way I could know for sure. 160 00:09:14,838 --> 00:09:16,488 Well, you could do a DNA test. 161 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:19,324 You send in some of her hair, some of his hair, 162 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,126 you'd know in a couple of days. 163 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,314 How am I gonna get his hair? 164 00:09:22,345 --> 00:09:23,945 It doesn't have to be hair. It can be... 165 00:09:24,013 --> 00:09:25,847 Saliva, or a skin sample. 166 00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:26,782 Skin sample, huh? 167 00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,400 I'll be right back. 168 00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:31,954 Hey, Frank! 169 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:35,190 How 'bout we catch up with a good old-fashioned scratch-fight? 170 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,793 What? You know. 171 00:09:37,861 --> 00:09:40,362 A scratch-fight. Like we used to have back in the neighborhood. 172 00:09:40,429 --> 00:09:41,964 You know, just for kicks. 173 00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:46,101 What the hell is going on here, Artie? 174 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,203 You call me up out of the blue, 175 00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:51,290 you invite me over here for crab legs, 176 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,658 and instead, all I get is tap water- 177 00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,093 you're absolutely right, Frank. 178 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:59,464 Allow me to apologize by swabbing the inside of your mouth. 179 00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:02,867 Ok. I'm outta here! 180 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,286 So soon? Wait! 181 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,988 You have something in your hair. What? 182 00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:11,092 Turns out it's just a clump of your hair. 183 00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:24,156 How beautiful is this? 184 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,458 Yeah. It's beautiful. Just... 185 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,428 A little chilly, isn't it? Here, let me help. 186 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,413 Let me help you with this right there. 187 00:10:31,481 --> 00:10:34,183 Stop! No, honey. Come on. 188 00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:37,019 I actually like the wind on my scalp, you know? 189 00:10:37,087 --> 00:10:38,453 Feels good. 190 00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:40,505 Ok. What's the matter? 191 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,574 Nah. I over-buffeted. Oh. 192 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:48,113 Oh, look, it's Robert goulet! Where? 193 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,982 I'm sleeping with his wife. 194 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,218 We loved your show tonight. 195 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,754 Yeah, and I usually hate that kind of crap. 196 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,540 Isn't that sweet? 197 00:10:58,607 --> 00:11:00,842 Actually, would you mind if we took a picture with you? 198 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:05,180 No, as long as he likes my crappy music, why not? 199 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:09,351 I'm just gonna go get the camera. I'll be right back, ok? 200 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,853 Boy, that is... 201 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,056 Wild hair. 202 00:11:14,123 --> 00:11:15,868 I just thought she'd look cute with short hair, you know? 203 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,325 Like Jamie Lee Curtis. 204 00:11:17,393 --> 00:11:21,163 Oh, Jamie Lee. I love her. We did a "muppet" special together. 205 00:11:21,231 --> 00:11:25,600 She sang a haunting duet with Fozzie bear. 206 00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:28,187 Oh, wait. I have my camera right here. 207 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,979 Hey. Hey. 208 00:11:37,047 --> 00:11:38,380 What were you doing? 209 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,049 Nothing, I'm just sitting here talking to Mr. Robert goulet. 210 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,451 Can you believe it? Pinch me! Now! Pinch me! 211 00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:45,053 That's crazy. 212 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,105 Were you talking about my hair? 213 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,790 No! No. 214 00:11:48,858 --> 00:11:50,676 Was he making fun of my hair? 215 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,828 Look, I'm in a hurry. I've gotta call bingo in the barracuda lounge. 216 00:11:53,896 --> 00:11:55,664 Yeah, you're not going anywhere, show-tunes. 217 00:11:55,732 --> 00:11:58,567 Was he making fun of my hair or not? Was he? 218 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:01,870 He says you look like Pete Rose. 219 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,075 Pete Rose? He's the all-time... 220 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,777 Hits leader! He's- 221 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,248 oh, buddy. I'm sorry. Look. 222 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:16,218 Drinks half price at my late show, ok? See ya. 223 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,642 Carrie, what're you doing? 224 00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,294 I'm leaving. 225 00:12:26,362 --> 00:12:28,997 You do realize we're on a boat. 226 00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:32,434 Then I will swim. I have the perfect hair for it. 227 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:36,321 Come on! I saw you and Robert goulet laughing 228 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:38,523 at how bad my hair looks. 229 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,819 We weren't laughing at how bad your hair looks. We were laughing with... 230 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,644 How bad you hair looks. 231 00:12:42,712 --> 00:12:44,813 I can't believe I convinced myself 232 00:12:44,881 --> 00:12:46,981 that this looked stylish and sassy. 233 00:12:47,049 --> 00:12:49,651 I look like a mental patient! 234 00:12:49,719 --> 00:12:51,219 I know. It's hard. Get off me! 235 00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:53,055 Don't touch me! 236 00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:54,890 You know how humiliated I am? 237 00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,092 And you talked me into this! 238 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,454 I didn't know it was gonna look so bad. 239 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,312 Here's the thing. Your hair's gonna grow back 240 00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:02,447 and you never have to do this again. 241 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,195 Actually, one more time, 'cause the pizza oven was part of the deal. 242 00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,557 Look, we made a mistake, what do you want me to do? 243 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,725 Shave your head. 244 00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:15,594 I'm not shaving my head. 245 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,113 Well, shave something, babe. 246 00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:19,481 Yeah. That's right. 247 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,383 How about that weird patch on your back? 248 00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,101 Oh. No. I need that. 249 00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,707 We can still have a good time, all right? 250 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,943 - Why don't you. - Here. Throw this scarf on, 251 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:34,379 and we'll go meet Deacon and Kelly at the midnight buffet. 252 00:13:34,497 --> 00:13:37,166 I'm not going anywhere until my hair grows back. 253 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,403 What are you saying? We're gonna stay here in the cabin 254 00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:42,704 for the rest of the cruise? 255 00:13:42,772 --> 00:13:44,422 Not we. 256 00:13:50,813 --> 00:13:52,848 You guys got an extra pillow? 257 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,152 Just askin'. 258 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,778 Mmhm. 259 00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:14,987 Hey. 260 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:22,094 What the hell are you doing? 261 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,296 I'm sorry. It was cold, all right? 262 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,364 Where's Kelly? 263 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,017 She left. She got pretty freaked out when I got into bed. 264 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,786 Oh, man! 265 00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:32,498 I've really been looking forward to this trip. 266 00:14:32,522 --> 00:14:35,258 Now I'm stuck in bed with you instead of my wife. 267 00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:36,742 Women. 268 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:43,315 Sometimes it's like no matter what we do, it just isn't good enough for them. 269 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,583 Don't lump us together. 270 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:47,219 I saved up money for 6 months for this trip. 271 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,755 You sold your wife for parts. 272 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,823 I'm sorry. What am I supposed to do? 273 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,237 I don't know, but I got two more days on this boat without my kids 274 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,562 and I plan on gettin' lucky, and not with you. 275 00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,565 Well, just for that the candy shop is closed. 276 00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,703 Quit hogging the blanket. 277 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:10,075 There's gotta be some way I can make this better. 278 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,011 Buy her a hat, or... 279 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,645 A helmet. 280 00:15:14,715 --> 00:15:16,115 How about a wig? 281 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,451 Ok, where am I gonna get her a wig on a cruise ship? 282 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,152 Where were you gonna get a helmet, idiot? 283 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,524 Well, now I see why Kelly left. I really do. 284 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,031 Ok. Shhhh. You gotta be fast. 285 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,133 Ok. 286 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,503 Look, I really appreciate this, Mr. Goulet. 287 00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:38,854 Ok. Lock up on your way out. 288 00:15:38,922 --> 00:15:39,855 Ok. 289 00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:40,923 All right. 290 00:15:40,957 --> 00:15:42,491 Let's do this and get out of here. 291 00:15:42,559 --> 00:15:44,827 Where's the wigs? Where's the wigs? 292 00:15:44,895 --> 00:15:46,395 Look at this stuff. 293 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,582 Hey, man. How would I look if I wore this? 294 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,286 Looks like you ate Elton John. 295 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:57,272 Come on. 296 00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,191 Here we are! Look at this! 297 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,826 All right. 298 00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:03,495 What do you think? 299 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,797 This one is nice. 300 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,765 All right, well, put it on. What? 301 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,400 I'm not doing that. 302 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,546 That's why I brought you here, so I could see it on someone. 303 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,872 Trust me, any wig I put on I'm gonna look like Rick James. 304 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,944 I got an idea. 305 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,513 What are you doing? 306 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,998 I'm drawing her face. 307 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,186 All right. 308 00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,854 How does that look? 309 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,875 I don't know. It doesn't look much like Carrie. 310 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,418 Now look. How does that look? 311 00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:46,588 There she is. Yeah. Yeah. 312 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,577 So? 313 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,246 What are the results? 314 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,833 I don't know, Spence. I've been too nervous to open it. 315 00:16:57,901 --> 00:16:59,068 Do you want me to look? 316 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,719 No, I should do this. 317 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:13,332 According to this, the father is... 318 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,801 Spence Olchin. 319 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,004 What?! 320 00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,173 You bastard! 321 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,443 There must be some mistake. Yeah! 322 00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,561 The mistake was letting you anywhere near my wife! 323 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,064 I've never met your wife 324 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,652 and I'm only 2 years older than Carrie. 325 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,518 Oh, look at you, you're 50 if you're a day! 326 00:17:35,672 --> 00:17:39,274 Ok, Arthur, the reason my name is on this is because I'm the one 327 00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:40,643 who paid for the test! 328 00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:45,014 For reasons I still don't understand. Yup. 329 00:17:45,081 --> 00:17:46,826 Well, you wiggled outta that one pretty good. 330 00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:49,184 See? It says right here, 331 00:17:49,252 --> 00:17:51,419 "Frank Medford not a match." 332 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,421 You're Carrie's father. 333 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,107 Well, that's pretty anticlimactic. 334 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,593 I'm gonna grab a nap. 335 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:09,154 Hey, look who found himself a high-class hooker, huh? 336 00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:11,990 Hey. 337 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,643 Girl, you look amazing. Damn. 338 00:18:14,711 --> 00:18:17,496 Damn? Now, do you mean that? 'Cause you said you liked my short hair. 339 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,864 No, no, no. That was scary. You're good now. 340 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:23,552 Oh, yeah? 'Cause I kinda feel like a Charlie's angel, you know? 341 00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:26,254 Freeze! 342 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,290 How great is this, man? Isn't it fun? 343 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,102 Look at us. We're all hanging out. We got good hair. 344 00:18:30,126 --> 00:18:33,495 We're just chillin'. It's awesome, man. Don't get better than this. 345 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,726 What are you looking at? You got a problem? 346 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:41,019 - No, no. I just. - I wanted to ask you if you wanted to dance. 347 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:46,158 Do you mind, honey? 348 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,486 Kiddin' me? You're doin' me a solid. 349 00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:49,928 I have the wrong underwear on for dancing. 350 00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:52,948 Thank you. 351 00:19:14,838 --> 00:19:15,838 Hey. There you are. 352 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,439 Thought we were gonna dance. 353 00:19:17,506 --> 00:19:19,507 Oh, you're finally done with Paco? 354 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,911 Ugh. I'm all yours now, baby. 355 00:19:22,979 --> 00:19:25,664 God, you smell like old spice. 356 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,634 That's sweet. You're jealous! 357 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,320 I'm not jealous. 358 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,589 Aw, Dougie-wougie, he's jealous! Stop it! 359 00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:34,923 What is wrong with you? 360 00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,402 When I looked horrible you didn't like it, 361 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,761 now I look fantastic and you don't like it. 362 00:19:38,828 --> 00:19:41,096 I wouldn't say "fantastic." Oh. 363 00:19:41,164 --> 00:19:44,216 Really? That's interesting, because there's a whole shipload 364 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,861 of cabin boys that think I'm pretty sexy, so 365 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,018 nighty night. Yeah? 366 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,887 Well try it without your little friend. Yeah! 367 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,288 Doug! Give that to me! No! 368 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,473 No, the wig's mine now. 369 00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:54,576 Yeah, so go hit the dance floor, cue ball. 370 00:19:55,645 --> 00:19:56,961 Come on, you're being a jerk. 371 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,830 No way. No. You know what? It's my turn maybe. 372 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,532 'Cause it's dirty dancin' time 373 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,370 and guess what? Baby just showed up. 374 00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:14,312 You could've told me it was for you. 375 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,414 I would've understood. 376 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,820 What the hell are we doing here? 377 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,773 I don't know, honey. 378 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,007 Look. 379 00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:29,811 I'm sorry about everything, all right? 380 00:20:30,946 --> 00:20:33,415 I'm sorry too. 381 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,546 It's beautiful tonight, isn't it? 382 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,147 It is. 383 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,468 Yeah. 384 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,024 Come on, honey! I'm waiting! 385 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,927 Ugh. I really don't wanna do this. 386 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,829 You promised. 387 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,319 Let's hear it.