1 00:00:36,118 --> 00:00:37,786 Darling, have you seen my passport? 2 00:00:37,853 --> 00:00:40,188 I'm leaving soon, and I really should have it. 3 00:00:40,255 --> 00:00:42,424 Dad, you're goin' to New Jersey. 4 00:00:42,491 --> 00:00:45,627 Still, border crossings are nothing to be taken lightly. 5 00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:49,347 I'm afraid I learned that the hard way. 6 00:00:49,414 --> 00:00:51,816 I think it's sweet that you visit mom's grave every year. 7 00:00:51,884 --> 00:00:53,951 I can't believe it's been 20 years. 8 00:00:54,019 --> 00:00:55,447 I know, and it's a shame she never saw 9 00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:58,189 what a beautiful young woman you've become. 10 00:00:58,257 --> 00:00:59,807 Thank you, dad. 11 00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:03,127 As always, I'll send her your warmest regards. 12 00:01:03,195 --> 00:01:05,062 You know, actually, I think I'm gonna- 13 00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:06,564 I'm gonna come with you this time. 14 00:01:06,632 --> 00:01:09,334 Why? You-you-you never come. 15 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,386 I know. Well, I was a teenager when she died, 16 00:01:11,454 --> 00:01:14,922 and I think I was angry at her for leaving me without a mother, 17 00:01:14,990 --> 00:01:18,125 especially when I had to go bra shopping with you. 18 00:01:18,193 --> 00:01:20,095 In retrospect, I should've let you 19 00:01:20,162 --> 00:01:23,131 go into the dressing room by yourself. 20 00:01:23,199 --> 00:01:24,866 Anyway, I'll see you on Monday. 21 00:01:24,934 --> 00:01:26,261 Dad, I said I'm gonna come with you. 22 00:01:26,285 --> 00:01:27,385 You can't! 23 00:01:27,452 --> 00:01:28,920 Why not? 24 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:30,822 I, uh... 25 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,807 I'm staying with your Uncle Chester, 26 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,542 and he likes to walk around in the nude. 27 00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:36,444 I won't have you see that again! 28 00:01:36,511 --> 00:01:38,279 Then we'll stay in a motel. 29 00:01:38,346 --> 00:01:40,715 Just give me a half hour to get packed. 30 00:01:42,868 --> 00:01:44,035 Hey, babe, listen, 31 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,137 I'm going up to new Jersey with my father 32 00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:48,506 to visit my mom's grave for the weekend. 33 00:01:48,573 --> 00:01:49,885 You're gonna be gone the whole weekend? 34 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,076 All right, you know what? 35 00:01:51,143 --> 00:01:53,111 Could you at least pretend you're gonna miss me? 36 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:56,347 Of course I'm gonna miss you. I am. Ok? 37 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,572 Which one of these goes better with steak-ums? 38 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,374 Um, I really don't know. 39 00:02:06,442 --> 00:02:07,735 I'm really intrigued by these "flamin' hot" ones, 40 00:02:07,759 --> 00:02:10,561 but I hear if you eat the whole bag, your tongue gets swollen. 41 00:02:10,629 --> 00:02:13,915 My manager just told me to stack the bean dip. 42 00:02:13,983 --> 00:02:16,935 Hey, you know you're gonna get 'em both, so why the dance? 43 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:18,803 Ray! I can't believe it! 44 00:02:18,871 --> 00:02:21,038 Hey, man! What's it been, like, 2 years? 45 00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:22,156 At least. Yeah. 46 00:02:22,224 --> 00:02:24,276 What do we do? Do we shake? You don't hug, right? 47 00:02:24,343 --> 00:02:26,744 I do. With some people, I do. Yeah. 48 00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:28,513 All right. Cool. 49 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:29,847 What are you doing here? 50 00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:31,849 You're not the only one who eats, man. 51 00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:33,117 What do you got goin' on here? 52 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:36,454 Uh, a log of salami, chips, and cheese. 53 00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:38,901 I guess you're not buyin' into the whole cholesterol thing, huh? 54 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,091 Oh, I'm buyin' into it. 55 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:41,903 I just want to see how high I can get the numbers. 56 00:02:41,927 --> 00:02:43,411 So, what have you been up to? 57 00:02:43,479 --> 00:02:45,947 Nothin'. You know, they're doin' the floors at my house, 58 00:02:46,014 --> 00:02:47,392 so Debra took the kids to Connecticut, 59 00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:48,583 and I'm sleepin' at my mom's. 60 00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:50,384 Oh, my God. That sounds like fun. 61 00:02:50,453 --> 00:02:51,786 Yeah. Well, it's been a while 62 00:02:51,854 --> 00:02:56,057 since I woke up covered in vicks vaporub. 63 00:02:56,124 --> 00:02:57,459 Yeah, I hear that. 64 00:02:57,526 --> 00:02:59,193 Hey, you know what? 65 00:02:59,261 --> 00:03:01,162 Carrie's out with her dad this whole weekend. 66 00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:03,141 She's gone. Why don't you just crash at my place? 67 00:03:03,165 --> 00:03:04,215 It'll be fun. 68 00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:06,117 Yeah? Yeah! 69 00:03:06,184 --> 00:03:07,696 Think about it. Just me and you, right? 70 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,854 No skirts givin' us the yap-yap. 71 00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:11,756 Hey, you know what? Yeah. 72 00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:15,960 Yeah, yeah. Let me just ask my mom-tell. I'm gonna... 73 00:03:18,147 --> 00:03:20,382 Hey, ma. Ma, listen, a change of plans. 74 00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:23,485 I'm gonna sleep at my friend Doug's house. 75 00:03:23,552 --> 00:03:27,555 No, this is not my way of telling you I'm gay. 76 00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:30,258 I don't know how I would tell you, ma. 77 00:03:30,326 --> 00:03:32,127 All right. I'm hangin' up. I'm hangin' up, ma. 78 00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:35,290 That's the answering machine. We're good. We're good. 79 00:03:35,314 --> 00:03:37,082 Ok. Yeah. Yeah. 80 00:03:40,152 --> 00:03:43,722 It's this way, just past Ethel merman. 81 00:03:43,789 --> 00:03:46,625 Your mother is laid to rest among Broadway royalty. 82 00:03:46,692 --> 00:03:49,878 Dad, that says "Ethel Melman." 83 00:03:49,945 --> 00:03:51,612 Wait, wait. 84 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,382 You haven't seen your mother in 20 years. 85 00:03:54,449 --> 00:03:57,986 I want her grave to look ship-shape. Ok? 86 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,887 Sophia, I'm sorry I'm late. 87 00:04:15,954 --> 00:04:18,590 I had a little dispute with a toll taker 88 00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,392 over their "no pennies" policy. 89 00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:23,328 More about that later. 90 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:24,529 I have a little surprise. 91 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,631 I brought your daughter to see you. 92 00:04:29,034 --> 00:04:30,402 Hi, mom. 93 00:04:30,469 --> 00:04:33,938 Sorry it's taken me so long to get here, 94 00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:35,540 but I want you to know that I love you. 95 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,342 Good stuff. Now, let's go. 96 00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:39,076 Dad, could you give me a minute? 97 00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:42,864 It's a beautiful stone, dad. 98 00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:44,032 Thank you. 99 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:47,568 "Sophia Spooner, beloved wife of Arthur, 100 00:04:47,636 --> 00:04:49,838 devoted mother to..." 101 00:04:49,905 --> 00:04:52,273 The flowers are covering my name. 102 00:04:52,341 --> 00:04:54,142 Not everything's about you. Let's go! 103 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,077 This place give me the creeps! 104 00:04:58,313 --> 00:05:00,831 "Devoted mother to... 105 00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:02,216 Simone?" 106 00:05:02,284 --> 00:05:04,369 I never noticed that. 107 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:06,338 Must be a typo. Shall we? 108 00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:08,105 Dad, what-what's goin' on? 109 00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:10,007 Why isn't my name there? 110 00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:13,845 It's a long story, darling. 111 00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:18,382 You remember your cousin Simone? 112 00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:21,619 Cousin Simone is my sister? 113 00:05:21,687 --> 00:05:24,071 No, no. Nothing like that. 114 00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:25,406 You're Simone. 115 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,363 Up to you. 116 00:05:32,431 --> 00:05:33,748 Are you almost done, daddy? 117 00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:37,251 Uh, no, Simone. Daddy's still playing. 118 00:05:37,319 --> 00:05:38,719 Are you winning? 119 00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:41,522 If you must know, I'm down $600. 120 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:47,178 Why don't you go play with your cousin Carrie? 121 00:05:47,245 --> 00:05:49,180 Ok. 122 00:05:50,065 --> 00:05:52,483 Well, it's just you and me, Chester. 123 00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,452 All right. All right. 124 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,823 I'm gonna raise you another 50. 125 00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:00,658 I don't have that much left. 126 00:06:00,726 --> 00:06:04,028 Hey, you're the big shot who wanted to play for high stakes, Arthur. 127 00:06:04,096 --> 00:06:05,663 All right. All right. Uh... 128 00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:07,231 How about I give you this wristwatch 129 00:06:07,299 --> 00:06:09,834 and the spare key to my neighbor's house, huh? 130 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:14,038 No, that's not gonna cut it, Arthur. 131 00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:16,040 But you do have something I want. 132 00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:17,108 What? 133 00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:18,576 Your daughter's name. 134 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,778 You wanna play for "Simone"?! 135 00:06:20,846 --> 00:06:22,881 You knew we wanted that name for our little girl! 136 00:06:22,948 --> 00:06:24,548 You stole it from us! 137 00:06:24,616 --> 00:06:27,718 Well, the premature bird gets the worm! 138 00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:29,753 Are you in, or you out? 139 00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:41,933 You lost my name in a poker game?! 140 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,835 I had a straight to the ace. 141 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,739 That he pulled a flush is unheard of! 142 00:06:56,832 --> 00:07:00,384 Ha! I love the wallpaper guy, man. 143 00:07:00,452 --> 00:07:02,603 Always yellin' at the plumber. 144 00:07:02,671 --> 00:07:05,973 You know, it would be cool if they had a nail-gun fight. 145 00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:08,709 That plumber would beat him senseless. 146 00:07:08,777 --> 00:07:11,429 I don't know, man. Wallpaper guy's tough. 147 00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,748 Yeah, but that plumber, he's got, like, crazy eyes. 148 00:07:13,815 --> 00:07:15,750 You know, he's like this. 149 00:07:15,817 --> 00:07:18,419 Uh-ha ha. Easy. Yeah, take- 150 00:07:18,486 --> 00:07:21,272 now let's put that cheerleading thing back on. 151 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:23,641 It's over. Midland, Texas won. 152 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,576 What?! Oh, see? That's why I stopped bettin'. 153 00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:26,644 It's all fixed. 154 00:07:32,751 --> 00:07:36,587 I gotta say, man, this is... this is pretty lame. 155 00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,173 What? 156 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,376 Well... Look at us. 157 00:07:42,444 --> 00:07:44,612 It's Saturday night. Uhh. 158 00:07:44,679 --> 00:07:45,719 Our wives are out of town, 159 00:07:45,747 --> 00:07:47,415 and this is the best we come up with? 160 00:07:48,317 --> 00:07:50,334 You want me to go home? 161 00:07:51,686 --> 00:07:52,886 No! No. Let's just- 162 00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:54,822 let's shake it up a little bit. 163 00:07:54,889 --> 00:07:57,330 All right. All right. Well, you wanna get a pizza? 164 00:07:57,355 --> 00:07:58,355 No! 165 00:08:00,128 --> 00:08:02,563 Yes, I do, but not- that's not the point. 166 00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:05,983 Well, what? 167 00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:07,268 I jus- 168 00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:09,353 before I was with Carrie, 169 00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,555 I... I used-I did whatever I wanted to do. 170 00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:13,457 You know? I was like a wild bull. 171 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,627 Yeah, I can see that. 172 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,211 Yeah. 173 00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:18,646 Let's do that tonight. Let's... 174 00:08:18,713 --> 00:08:20,114 Let's be wild bulls. 175 00:08:20,182 --> 00:08:22,984 All right! All right. I can do wild bull. 176 00:08:23,051 --> 00:08:25,153 What... what... what do wild bulls do? 177 00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:27,538 Well... Carrie doesn't like it when I make a mess, 178 00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:30,675 but you can't tell a bull not to make a mess! 179 00:08:30,742 --> 00:08:32,093 Yeeeaaahhh! 180 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:33,661 Ooowwww! 181 00:08:36,498 --> 00:08:39,033 W- we got any more cheetos? 182 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,254 No. I shouldn't have done that. 183 00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:54,682 I don't understand why you're making such a big deal outta this. 184 00:08:54,749 --> 00:08:57,451 Dad... if it's not such a big deal, 185 00:08:57,519 --> 00:09:00,954 then why did mom have you put "Simone" on her tombstone? 186 00:09:01,022 --> 00:09:02,440 She never forgave me for losing it. 187 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:04,776 Even in death, she was petty. 188 00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:07,561 You know what, dad? I have put up with your craziness 189 00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:09,130 my whole life. 190 00:09:09,198 --> 00:09:12,300 You have ruined relationships for me, cost me jobs. 191 00:09:12,368 --> 00:09:13,901 You even spent my college tuition 192 00:09:13,969 --> 00:09:16,137 on buying the rights to the Lou rawls story. 193 00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:18,005 That story needs to be told, and it will be! 194 00:09:20,075 --> 00:09:22,743 Darling... It's just a name. 195 00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:25,145 Dad, it is not just a name. Ok? 196 00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:28,316 It's important. It-it defines who you are, 197 00:09:28,383 --> 00:09:30,384 how people treat you. 198 00:09:30,452 --> 00:09:32,636 I mean, if I'd been Simone, I... 199 00:09:32,704 --> 00:09:36,808 Maybe I would've had a whole, different, better life. 200 00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,910 But we'll never know, will we? 201 00:09:39,711 --> 00:09:41,228 The man drew a flush. Ohhh! 202 00:09:46,084 --> 00:09:48,318 Hey, the car show's in town. 203 00:09:48,386 --> 00:09:49,386 Nah. 204 00:09:50,555 --> 00:09:53,157 Ooh! Stutterin' John's in rent. 205 00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,677 No, no, no, no. 206 00:09:56,745 --> 00:09:59,013 Hey, we could go see that penguin movie. 207 00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:06,675 All right, well, I mean, there's gotta be somethin' we can do. 208 00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:09,807 Check this out. 209 00:10:09,874 --> 00:10:12,643 Why don't we party with the beautiful people at the lightning lounge? 210 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:14,388 Hey, hey, what was wrong with rock and bowl? 211 00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:15,680 "Free shoe rental." 212 00:10:15,747 --> 00:10:17,381 Would-come on! 213 00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:19,516 Tonight's about takin' our manhood back! 214 00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:21,118 I say we do this club thing. 215 00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:22,937 No, no. I don't know about goin' to a club. 216 00:10:23,005 --> 00:10:24,822 Come on. I mean, we-we're married men. 217 00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:26,523 We're not goin' there to pick up women. 218 00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:28,159 This is a guys' night out, man! 219 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,594 Come on, we're wild bulls! Now, let's do this. 220 00:10:30,662 --> 00:10:31,879 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 221 00:10:31,947 --> 00:10:35,783 Are you gonna go like that? You're wearin' sweats. 222 00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:38,202 Ok, first of all, these are easy-fit pants. 223 00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:41,906 And you should talk. You look like Bob vila. 224 00:11:27,002 --> 00:11:28,702 Maybe I should just go home. 225 00:11:44,086 --> 00:11:46,070 Simone! Simone! 226 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:47,821 Yeah! Simone! 227 00:11:47,889 --> 00:11:50,057 Simone! 228 00:11:50,124 --> 00:11:51,642 Over here! 229 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:54,378 We love you, Simone! Simone! 230 00:11:54,446 --> 00:11:55,947 Simone! We love you! 231 00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:58,449 Oh, and I love you. 232 00:12:01,703 --> 00:12:03,204 Where to, miss Simone? 233 00:12:03,271 --> 00:12:06,801 Uh... I guess Brad and Angelina's. 234 00:12:06,825 --> 00:12:08,542 But I'm not singin'. 235 00:12:08,609 --> 00:12:09,609 Very good. 236 00:12:09,661 --> 00:12:11,195 You know, I may be a tad out of line 237 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,597 sayin' this, but you look absolutely... 238 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:21,649 Hey, Doug, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 239 00:12:21,673 --> 00:12:23,274 I just thought of somethin'. What's up? 240 00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:25,292 We look pretty good here, right? 241 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,027 I look great. Exactly. 242 00:12:27,095 --> 00:12:29,413 And we're successful. We smell good. 243 00:12:29,481 --> 00:12:31,048 Even though we're not interested, 244 00:12:31,115 --> 00:12:33,283 there's a good chance that some of these ladies... 245 00:12:33,351 --> 00:12:36,253 Are gonna throw themselves at us. 246 00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:38,555 Oh, my God. I never thought of that. Yeah. 247 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:40,518 You know what? We should come up 248 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:41,809 with some kind of code word. 249 00:12:41,877 --> 00:12:42,810 For what? 250 00:12:42,878 --> 00:12:44,745 In case things get outta hand. 251 00:12:44,813 --> 00:12:46,297 Oh. You-oh, you mean like if... 252 00:12:46,365 --> 00:12:48,109 This chick's all over me or somethin' like that, 253 00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:49,634 and I need you to bail me out? 254 00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:51,235 I just say the code word? Exactly. 255 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,471 Ok. Exactly. What do you want the code word to be? 256 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:54,805 How about "kettle corn"? 257 00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:58,308 "Kettle corn"? 258 00:12:58,376 --> 00:12:59,554 Yeah. What's wrong with "kettle corn"? 259 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:00,805 Well, it's just- it's not organic. 260 00:13:00,829 --> 00:13:03,297 It doesn't come up in a sentence very often. 261 00:13:03,364 --> 00:13:05,116 It does for me. 262 00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:06,784 People, you cannot stand here. 263 00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:08,152 Please move inside. 264 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:11,656 Let's do this. Wild bulls. 265 00:13:30,926 --> 00:13:33,193 Yes. 266 00:13:35,097 --> 00:13:36,697 Ahem. Hello. 267 00:13:36,765 --> 00:13:39,266 Hi. Hello there. Hello. 268 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,164 It's "kettle corn," though, right? Yeah, it's "kettle corn." 269 00:13:43,188 --> 00:13:44,522 Ok. Yeah. Yeah. 270 00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:53,447 What are you doin'? 271 00:13:53,598 --> 00:13:54,698 I'm goin' out. 272 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,968 It's 2:00 in the morning. Where you goin'? 273 00:13:58,036 --> 00:13:59,437 To Uncle Chester's. 274 00:13:59,504 --> 00:14:01,138 To win your name back. 275 00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,324 Oh, my, that's crazy. 276 00:14:03,391 --> 00:14:04,808 You're happy with your life? 277 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,560 Schlepping coffee for suits by day 278 00:14:06,627 --> 00:14:08,895 and folding giant underwear by night? 279 00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:13,551 'Cause as long as you're Carrie, 280 00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,085 that's all you're gonna get. 281 00:14:15,153 --> 00:14:16,904 Dad, come on. Just go back to bed. 282 00:14:16,972 --> 00:14:18,472 You were right. 283 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,408 As Simone, you could've had a better life. 284 00:14:21,476 --> 00:14:24,345 You could've been an astronaut or a... an inventor. 285 00:14:24,412 --> 00:14:25,679 Or a movie star? 286 00:14:25,746 --> 00:14:26,413 Yes. 287 00:14:26,481 --> 00:14:27,731 I'll call you a cab. 288 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,932 Guess we didn't really need a code word, huh? 289 00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:47,267 Yeah, that's surprisin'. 290 00:14:47,336 --> 00:14:49,203 Usually the sound of a guy suckin' ice 291 00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:50,938 drives women wild. 292 00:14:51,005 --> 00:14:53,173 Hey, I paid 15 bucks for this drink. Ok? 293 00:14:53,241 --> 00:14:55,943 If I want to eat the glass, I'll do that. 294 00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:57,878 And you with your up-nods and smilin'. 295 00:14:57,946 --> 00:14:59,757 "Like that was workin'." Hey, everybody, look at me. 296 00:14:59,781 --> 00:15:01,276 "Look at my receding gums. 297 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,418 "Hey, horse teeth. Horse teeth. Horse teeth. 298 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,053 Big choppers." 299 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,356 Yeah, well... 300 00:15:10,525 --> 00:15:12,292 I'm sure nobody saw my mouth 301 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,194 because luckily I'm sittin' next to a guy 302 00:15:14,262 --> 00:15:17,297 who looks like he ate the guy sittin' next to him. 303 00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:22,369 Let me tell you somethin', man. 304 00:15:22,437 --> 00:15:24,004 If I was single, I would stomp you 305 00:15:24,071 --> 00:15:25,282 in the chick department. Ohhh... 306 00:15:25,306 --> 00:15:26,940 Boy. What do you-you-you think 307 00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:28,642 you got more game than me? Really? 308 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:29,943 I know I do. Oh, yeah. 309 00:15:30,011 --> 00:15:31,311 That's funny. That is funny. 310 00:15:31,379 --> 00:15:32,813 Yeah. All right. 311 00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:36,483 How about a-a little wager? 312 00:15:36,551 --> 00:15:37,484 I'm in. 313 00:15:37,552 --> 00:15:38,819 Ok. All right. 314 00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:40,421 All right, how about this? $100, 315 00:15:40,488 --> 00:15:42,756 first one who get somebody to dance with him. 316 00:15:42,824 --> 00:15:44,792 Literally the easiest hundred bucks 317 00:15:44,859 --> 00:15:47,093 I've ever made in my life. Yeah? All right. 318 00:15:47,829 --> 00:15:48,980 Ahem. Ok. 319 00:15:50,048 --> 00:15:51,715 'Scuse me. Would you, uh... 320 00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:52,883 Would you like to dance? 321 00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:53,985 No, thanks. 322 00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:55,052 How 'bout you? 323 00:15:56,254 --> 00:15:56,937 You? 324 00:15:57,004 --> 00:15:58,022 You. 325 00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:02,370 - Hi. Excuse me for a second. Would. - No. 326 00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:03,661 Woul- 327 00:16:03,728 --> 00:16:05,206 you don't even know what I was gonna say. 328 00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:08,031 I have money, and I'm dying. Ok? 329 00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:12,503 Oh, my God! This is totally my song! 330 00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:14,338 Oh, my God. It's totally my song, too. 331 00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:15,472 You want to dance? 332 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:17,708 Ahem. You're up now. I'm on deck. 333 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:22,179 She's great. She's so great. She's great. 334 00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:24,298 Excuse me. Do you know where the bathroom is? 335 00:16:24,365 --> 00:16:26,243 Yeah. Yeah, I do. It's right up there to the right. 336 00:16:26,267 --> 00:16:27,545 Yeah. Yeah. It's over this way. I'll show you. 337 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,569 Yeah. 338 00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:43,717 Hey. Pay up, man. Pay up. 339 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,385 All right. Pay up. 340 00:16:45,453 --> 00:16:47,264 First of all, does she even know she's dancin' with you? 341 00:16:47,288 --> 00:16:48,455 Oh. I think she knows. 342 00:16:48,523 --> 00:16:49,523 Yeah. Ok? 343 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,041 She's makin' out with that guy. 344 00:16:52,944 --> 00:16:55,713 That's 'cause I told her to. It turns me on. Ok? 345 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,024 All right, look, here's the rule. 346 00:16:57,048 --> 00:16:59,016 It's gotta be someone who's not already dancin', 347 00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:02,419 someone starting from a standing or neutral position. 348 00:17:02,486 --> 00:17:04,054 Let's do it. All right. Let's go. 349 00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,060 Oh, yeah. 350 00:17:13,715 --> 00:17:15,610 - Um, will you dance with me real. - Really quick? 351 00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:16,567 Oh, no, thanks. 352 00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:18,101 How about I give you 50 bucks? 353 00:17:18,169 --> 00:17:19,002 What? Yeah. 354 00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:20,087 What's goin' on here? 355 00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:21,004 No, no, no. Nothin'. Nothin'. 356 00:17:21,072 --> 00:17:22,133 I just wanted her to dance with me 357 00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:23,090 just for one second. 358 00:17:23,158 --> 00:17:24,892 He said he'd give me $50. 359 00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:26,643 You think she's a hooker? 360 00:17:26,711 --> 00:17:27,904 No! No, no, no. All right, listen. 361 00:17:27,928 --> 00:17:29,240 Forget about that. Forget about it. How about 362 00:17:29,264 --> 00:17:30,574 I give you 50 bucks, you dance with me? 363 00:17:30,598 --> 00:17:33,300 How about I kick your ass, old man? 364 00:17:34,051 --> 00:17:35,268 Kettle corn! 365 00:17:43,178 --> 00:17:44,178 So? 366 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:51,118 You know what? It's ok, dad. 367 00:17:51,186 --> 00:17:53,620 You tried. That's the important thing. 368 00:17:53,688 --> 00:17:55,889 Besides, you know, I like my life. 369 00:17:55,957 --> 00:17:57,441 Have a great husband... 370 00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:59,176 Crazy dad who loves me. 371 00:17:59,243 --> 00:18:00,277 Hmmhh. 372 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,979 I like being Carrie. 373 00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:04,297 About that... 374 00:18:07,101 --> 00:18:08,618 Oh, my God. 375 00:18:08,686 --> 00:18:11,621 Did you lose the name "Carrie"?! 376 00:18:11,689 --> 00:18:13,207 I prefer to think of it 377 00:18:13,274 --> 00:18:15,509 as winning you the name "midge." 378 00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:20,641 Hey, I kettle-corned you, man! 379 00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:21,881 Excuse me. 380 00:18:21,949 --> 00:18:22,800 Raven and I are waitin' for a song 381 00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:24,968 to dance to. You stupid idiot. 382 00:18:25,036 --> 00:18:26,681 Will you help me out? This guy's gonna kill me. 383 00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:28,288 What are you talkin' about? 384 00:18:28,355 --> 00:18:29,807 I hit on his girlfriend... 385 00:18:29,874 --> 00:18:31,475 And then kinda on him. 386 00:18:33,144 --> 00:18:35,262 Give him a little attitude. He'll back right down. 387 00:18:35,329 --> 00:18:36,280 Whassup, man? Get down! Stop it! 388 00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:37,548 You're makin' it worse! 389 00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:38,692 You stop, man. There's two of us. 390 00:18:38,716 --> 00:18:39,826 There's one of him. What do you want to do, 391 00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:40,927 run out of here like little girls? 392 00:18:40,951 --> 00:18:42,452 Crawl out the bathroom window? 393 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,837 Yeah! That-yes! The bathroom! 394 00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,672 Would you stop it? 395 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:49,793 Come on, now, man! You're a wild bull, right?! 396 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:51,511 I'm 45, and I'm trembling. 397 00:18:53,014 --> 00:18:54,097 No. Come on, man. 398 00:18:54,165 --> 00:18:56,149 We're wild bulls. You're a wild bull! 399 00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:57,217 Yeah. Right? 400 00:18:57,285 --> 00:18:58,565 Yeah. I'm a wild bull. Wild bull. 401 00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,287 Right! Now, gimme some crazy eyes. 402 00:19:09,197 --> 00:19:11,682 That karate's somethin' else, huh? 403 00:19:13,651 --> 00:19:14,884 Yeah. It's bad news. 404 00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:16,654 Yeah. 405 00:19:16,754 --> 00:19:18,522 Did you find your tooth? 406 00:19:22,777 --> 00:19:24,711 They told me they'd call. 407 00:19:24,779 --> 00:19:28,432 What do you think that guy was on parole for? 408 00:19:28,499 --> 00:19:32,703 Whatever it was, he's gotta add sexual assault now. 409 00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:55,462 So, the code word's "fiddle-faddle," right? 410 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,753 "Fiddle-faddle." Right.