1 00:00:36,252 --> 00:00:37,385 What the- 2 00:00:39,055 --> 00:00:40,221 Doug, wake up. 3 00:00:41,758 --> 00:00:43,702 Doug, wake up. Something's going on. 4 00:00:43,726 --> 00:00:44,904 Wake up. 5 00:00:44,928 --> 00:00:45,905 Honey. Mm. 6 00:00:45,929 --> 00:00:47,807 Wake-Doug. 7 00:00:47,831 --> 00:00:49,331 Doug, stop! 8 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,245 There's red flashing lights outside. 9 00:00:53,269 --> 00:00:54,703 It's probably a dance party. 10 00:00:56,038 --> 00:00:58,073 Go back to sleep. No. 11 00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:02,655 No, there's an ambulance across the street. 12 00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:04,306 Some of the neighbors are coming out. 13 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:05,858 Oh, I see the Ferrignos. 14 00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:07,827 Come on. Let's go see what's going on. 15 00:01:07,851 --> 00:01:10,496 All right. You go. I'll guard the bedroom. 16 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,732 You want to send your wife outside alone 17 00:01:13,756 --> 00:01:15,033 at 3:00 in the morning? 18 00:01:15,057 --> 00:01:16,335 Okay. You've got an ambulance 19 00:01:16,359 --> 00:01:17,869 and the Incredible Hulk out there. 20 00:01:17,893 --> 00:01:19,037 I think you'll be okay. 21 00:01:19,061 --> 00:01:21,846 Come on. Come on! Stop it. 22 00:01:29,188 --> 00:01:30,733 Hey, Lou. 23 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,601 Hey, guys. 24 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:33,619 What's going on? 25 00:01:33,643 --> 00:01:34,937 Paul died. 26 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,322 Oh, my God! Paul died? 27 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,806 That's terrible. 28 00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:40,192 Who was that again? 29 00:01:40,216 --> 00:01:42,995 He lived across the street there. 30 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,697 Oh. Was he the guy that always walks 31 00:01:44,721 --> 00:01:46,499 up and down the block barefoot? 32 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:47,723 No, that's me. 33 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,288 So, uh, was it sudden? 34 00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,156 Not really. He'd been sick for a while. 35 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,541 You know what? 36 00:01:55,565 --> 00:01:57,943 I'm gonna put on some coffee for everyone. 37 00:01:57,967 --> 00:01:59,567 All right, man. Catch you later. 38 00:02:01,604 --> 00:02:03,071 "Catch you later?" 39 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,219 A man just died. 40 00:02:07,243 --> 00:02:08,320 Hey, life goes on, 41 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:10,546 and I'm still gonna catch Lou later. 42 00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:15,778 All right, come on. Let's go back in. 43 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,230 What? No. Why? 44 00:02:18,254 --> 00:02:20,199 We're not gonna be the first neighbors to go in. 45 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,356 It's tacky. Hm. 46 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,587 Sorry, but it's a little nippy out here, 47 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,612 if you know what I mean, and I think that you do. 48 00:02:42,678 --> 00:02:44,489 Douglas. Is this a good time 49 00:02:44,513 --> 00:02:46,881 to bring you up to speed on my psoriasis? 50 00:02:50,519 --> 00:02:53,032 You know, I was hoping you'd ask me that. 51 00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:54,483 It's a great time. 52 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,602 Well, she's headed south. 53 00:02:56,626 --> 00:02:59,371 What do you suggest I do? 54 00:02:59,395 --> 00:03:01,407 Arthur, I'm not a doctor. 55 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,108 Tell me something I don't know. 56 00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:04,777 A doctor. That's rich. 57 00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:06,278 Okay. You know what? 58 00:03:06,302 --> 00:03:09,214 I'll give you $50 if you go back downstairs. 59 00:03:09,238 --> 00:03:10,382 If I want your money, 60 00:03:10,406 --> 00:03:11,950 I'll take it while you're sleeping. 61 00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,107 Just give me the crossword. 62 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,956 Hey, Dad. How's it going? 63 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,657 Not so good. I may have to borrow 64 00:03:18,681 --> 00:03:20,425 one of your knitting needles. 65 00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:22,695 Well, I don't know what you need it for, 66 00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:24,519 but throw it out when you're done. 67 00:03:26,889 --> 00:03:28,200 Good call on that one. 68 00:03:28,224 --> 00:03:30,435 Yeah. Listen. I had a thought. No biggie. 69 00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:32,304 I just wanted to run it by you. 70 00:03:32,328 --> 00:03:33,962 Let's buy the dead guy's house. 71 00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:38,561 But I like this house. 72 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,078 No. Look. I don't want us to move there. 73 00:03:40,102 --> 00:03:41,346 I want us to buy it 74 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:42,981 before it goes on the market, 75 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,917 and then we sell it real fast for a big profit. 76 00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:45,974 We flip it. 77 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,838 We-I know nothing about that stuff. 78 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:52,541 Yeah, but I do. This is how my boss got started. 79 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,210 You think he just fell into some big 80 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,745 billion-dollar real estate company? 81 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:59,481 Well, actually, he did. But his father... 82 00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:01,950 His father started with just one house. 83 00:04:01,974 --> 00:04:03,219 Okay. So let him buy it. 84 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,505 No, come on, listen. I talked to Lou, 85 00:04:06,529 --> 00:04:08,257 and he said the guy's only relative 86 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,925 is some 80-year-old Cousin Eloise who lives upstate. 87 00:04:10,949 --> 00:04:12,928 She doesn't know what houses go for around here. 88 00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:14,563 We can get the house for a steal. 89 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,855 So you-Now you want to take advantage of an old lady? 90 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,469 And help her to move on. 91 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,686 I don't know. 92 00:04:21,710 --> 00:04:24,907 Something about this just doesn't sound right. 93 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,048 How does "speedboat" sound? That sound right? 94 00:04:32,588 --> 00:04:35,534 I'm listening. Okay. 95 00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:37,619 Well, if we get this house, we can have the money. 96 00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:39,705 You could finally get your boat. 97 00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:41,797 Really? Could I name it the Sara Lee? 98 00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:44,209 Doug- 99 00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:46,428 Look, Carrie's a nice name, but not for a boat, okay? 100 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,164 I mean, "Oh, if you really loved me, you'd name it Carrie." 101 00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:50,689 Well, I'm not gonna, so get over it. 102 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:53,935 Wow. 103 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:57,762 Sorry. In my head I've had this fight a lot. 104 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,932 Hey, Arturo. Is Doug home yet? 105 00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:09,368 Afraid not. Oh. What's that for? 106 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,569 I signed up for a drug trial, 107 00:05:10,593 --> 00:05:12,838 but I can't seem to read the small print. 108 00:05:12,862 --> 00:05:14,874 How sharp are those beady eyes? 109 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,775 20/20. 110 00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:20,079 Let's see. Oh. "Take one pill each morning 111 00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:22,248 for a period of 3 weeks." 112 00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:24,383 Sounds simple enough. Nope, hang on. 113 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,401 "Some users may experience nausea, 114 00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,570 dry mouth, cramping-". 115 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,655 Hold on. They didn't say anything about cramping 116 00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:32,040 in their adorable cartoon ad. 117 00:05:32,064 --> 00:05:35,194 Well... most drugs have side effects. 118 00:05:35,218 --> 00:05:38,297 I did a trial one time for a peanut allergy medication. 119 00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:40,065 Oh, my God, my windpipe closed up. 120 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,201 They had to rush me to the emergency room. 121 00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:44,536 They said if I'd gotten there 10 minutes later... 122 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,155 I'd be dead. 123 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,380 We're talking about me now. Oh, sorry. 124 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,777 I wish I could know for sure about these side effects 125 00:05:51,801 --> 00:05:53,679 before I start popping pills. 126 00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:55,331 What are you taking them for anyway? 127 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,682 Uh, psoriasis. Way downtown. 128 00:05:57,706 --> 00:05:58,840 Oh, man. 129 00:06:01,076 --> 00:06:02,688 That's... 130 00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:04,323 That's rough. Heh-heh. 131 00:06:04,347 --> 00:06:06,292 You know, I think my mom has the same thing. 132 00:06:06,316 --> 00:06:09,628 Hmm. Is that so? 133 00:06:09,652 --> 00:06:11,530 You know, when Spence said you wanted to see me, 134 00:06:11,554 --> 00:06:13,382 I was a little surprised. 135 00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:16,752 You never invited me out for coffee before. 136 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,210 Better late than never. 137 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:21,896 No, no! This one is yours. 138 00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:25,477 Apropos of nothing, you're not allergic 139 00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,312 to potassium benzoate, are you? 140 00:06:27,336 --> 00:06:29,581 I don't think so. 141 00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:30,988 Then bottoms up. 142 00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,704 Hey, guys. Glad you could make it. 143 00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:54,339 Hey. Oh. Well, when you told me 144 00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:55,640 there was gonna be a memorial 145 00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:57,342 right here in this house, 146 00:06:57,366 --> 00:07:00,035 I told Doug, "We just have to go." 147 00:07:01,871 --> 00:07:03,538 Those were her exact words. 148 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,569 Oh, it's so sad to think that he's not gonna sit 149 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,239 in front of this fireplace again. 150 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,312 Does it work? 151 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,765 I think so. 152 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,546 A working fireplace. 153 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,047 You know how big that is? 154 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,214 Oh, my God. 155 00:07:20,238 --> 00:07:22,216 I think I feel hardwood floors under here. 156 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,201 Okay, okay. You know what? 157 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,203 You might want to bring down the happy a little. 158 00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,312 Okay. All right. 159 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:30,992 Hello. Oh. 160 00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:33,111 I'm Eloise. Hi. 161 00:07:33,135 --> 00:07:35,947 Oh, hi. Doug and Carrie Heffernan. 162 00:07:35,971 --> 00:07:38,490 Oh. Were you friends of Paul? 163 00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:43,005 Yeah. We live across the street. 164 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,572 From Paul. 165 00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:47,609 So sorry about your loss. 166 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,910 Heffernan. 167 00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:52,046 Oh, you left a lovely note. 168 00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:53,565 Thank you. 169 00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:55,216 No. Thank you for having 170 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,953 such a wonderful, wonderful cousin. 171 00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:58,970 Yes. 172 00:07:58,994 --> 00:08:01,129 With a wonderful, wonderful house. 173 00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:05,066 Ah. What's to become of this house? 174 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,569 Seriously, Eloise, what's to become of it? 175 00:08:09,621 --> 00:08:11,116 Pardon me? 176 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,734 Well, I don't know if you're gonna keep it, 177 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:15,204 or, I don't know, sell it? 178 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,504 Whatever you decide to do, 179 00:08:16,528 --> 00:08:18,506 we just want you to know that we're here for you. 180 00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:19,724 Tsk. 181 00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:21,193 Although you may have a little trouble 182 00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:22,517 unloading it with that smell. 183 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,099 Did he die in this room or what? 184 00:08:27,123 --> 00:08:29,324 Rank. 185 00:08:33,395 --> 00:08:36,174 Thank you very much for coming. Yeah. Yeah. 186 00:08:36,198 --> 00:08:37,525 Excuse me. 187 00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:38,549 Sure. 188 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,731 What the hell was that? 189 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,033 What? I was trying to help out. I was being bad cop. 190 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,752 Bad cop? There's no cop at all. 191 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,136 Well, you gotta tell me that stuff. 192 00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:52,073 Everyone, 193 00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:53,758 if I could have your attention. 194 00:08:53,782 --> 00:08:55,927 I thought it would be nice if we went around the room 195 00:08:55,951 --> 00:08:57,552 and shared some memories of Paul. 196 00:08:59,388 --> 00:09:02,468 Bobby. Why don't you begin? 197 00:09:02,492 --> 00:09:04,092 Sure, I'd-I'd love to. 198 00:09:05,428 --> 00:09:08,039 The thing I remember most about Paul is 199 00:09:08,063 --> 00:09:10,242 the way he always had time for everybody. 200 00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,110 I mean, he showed my son 201 00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,478 how to build model airplanes, 202 00:09:13,502 --> 00:09:15,046 and he'd tell stories 203 00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,883 of how he flew in World War II. 204 00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:20,268 I'd like to think he's somewhere up there 205 00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:21,593 flying right now. 206 00:09:26,431 --> 00:09:28,377 Doug? 207 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,684 Oh, we're going counterclockwise? 208 00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,999 I- I think that's bad luck. I really do. 209 00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:36,635 It's okay, Doug. Go ahead. 210 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,803 Okay. 211 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,472 All right, uh... 212 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:41,496 Paul. 213 00:09:43,131 --> 00:09:46,468 Paul. What can I say about my man Paul? 214 00:09:49,872 --> 00:09:52,300 He, uh, did love his model planes. 215 00:09:52,324 --> 00:09:54,102 Yeah, he loved them. 216 00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,793 Loved them a lot. 217 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,474 But not just, uh, model planes. 218 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,176 He loved... 219 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,694 m- model cars. 220 00:10:02,718 --> 00:10:04,569 Model boats. 221 00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:07,755 All... kinds of models. 222 00:10:09,892 --> 00:10:11,192 He dated models. 223 00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:14,973 Yeah. I know what you're thinking. 224 00:10:14,997 --> 00:10:18,126 You know, "He's 100. Why are models dating him?" 225 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,862 I'm gonna tell you why. Uh, it's because, uh, 226 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,130 he respected them. 227 00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,499 And they sensed that... 228 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:28,192 uh, because models have unbelievable instincts. 229 00:10:30,345 --> 00:10:32,524 And, yes, it ended badly sometimes. 230 00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:33,548 But he did not hit them. 231 00:10:34,683 --> 00:10:35,694 It is not true. 232 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,136 It is never-It was never-Never true! 233 00:10:39,571 --> 00:10:41,216 Bottom line is, uh, ahem... 234 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,684 Good neighbor... 235 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,153 Dated models, 236 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,911 Loved Bobby's son. 237 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:50,248 You're up. 238 00:10:56,906 --> 00:11:00,752 Arthur. I've so been enjoying 239 00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:03,111 our little get-togethers here. 240 00:11:04,513 --> 00:11:05,841 Although... 241 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,383 does their coffee taste bitter to you? 242 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,897 Sitting across from you, 243 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,872 I don't even notice. 244 00:11:15,924 --> 00:11:18,570 So... anything new? 245 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,638 Mm, same old, same old. How about you? 246 00:11:20,662 --> 00:11:22,730 Any cramps, dry heaving? 247 00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:26,594 What? No. No. 248 00:11:26,618 --> 00:11:28,447 Why would you ask that? 249 00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:30,648 Well, I just want to know everything there is to know 250 00:11:30,672 --> 00:11:32,884 about Veronica Olchin. Oh. 251 00:11:32,908 --> 00:11:35,353 Does she like silk sheets or satin? 252 00:11:35,377 --> 00:11:38,924 Do you like eggs sunny-side up or scrambled? Oh. 253 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,992 Do you have swelling 254 00:11:41,016 --> 00:11:42,850 in one or both of your breasts? 255 00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:46,381 Oh, Arthur. 256 00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:48,606 This is a family place. 257 00:11:50,859 --> 00:11:52,059 Seriously. 258 00:11:59,335 --> 00:12:00,862 Hello? 259 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:01,930 Hey, honey. I just pulled up 260 00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:03,364 the comps for the neighborhood. 261 00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:06,068 If we get this house, we are gonna make a killing. 262 00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,969 Sweet. 'Cause I've been boat shopping, 263 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:10,671 and they be's a lot of money. 264 00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,135 Well, we's gonna have a lot of money. 265 00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:15,193 Wait a minute. What? 266 00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:17,262 What's Lou doing over at Paul's? 267 00:12:17,286 --> 00:12:18,330 He's- 268 00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:19,748 He's watering their flowers. 269 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,216 Why would he be doing that? 270 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,234 Oh, my God. I bet you he's trying 271 00:12:23,258 --> 00:12:24,803 to buy the house and then flip it too. 272 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,172 What? No, come on. He's not that savvy. 273 00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:28,807 Not that savvy? He's a giant. 274 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,165 With a giant brain to match. 275 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,095 Oh. Maybe you're right. 276 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,029 Remember he was walking around the memorial 277 00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,298 like he owned the place. 278 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,017 Go over there and find out what his game is. 279 00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:41,209 Oh. I'm going. I'm going right now. 280 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,910 Hey, Lou. Hey, Doug. 281 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,579 What you doing? Just watering Paul's flowers. 282 00:12:51,603 --> 00:12:53,247 Oh, well, isn't that neighborly? 283 00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:56,184 It's just, uh, Paul really loved his garden. 284 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,476 I thought maybe someone should look after it. 285 00:12:59,444 --> 00:13:01,722 You listen and you listen good. 286 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:03,191 Don't go up against us 287 00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,782 because you'll lose every time. 288 00:13:11,106 --> 00:13:12,250 Hey. 289 00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:13,301 Where have you been? 290 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,003 Lou's probably got the house by now. 291 00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:16,521 Oh, probably not 'cause... 292 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:17,522 we got it! 293 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:18,789 What? 294 00:13:18,813 --> 00:13:21,059 Yes, that's right. After we hung up, I called Eloise. 295 00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:22,760 I made her an offer, and she accepted it. 296 00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:25,564 We got the house. We got the house. 297 00:13:25,588 --> 00:13:26,921 Come on. 298 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,386 You know what, honey? 299 00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:35,156 This is the start of a whole new life for us. 300 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:37,391 Yeah. Now let's go get 301 00:13:37,415 --> 00:13:38,966 that giant freak off our property. 302 00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:47,585 Hey. Hey, there she is! 303 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:48,886 Yeah. All right. Mwah! 304 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,087 Oh, look at this place. 305 00:13:50,111 --> 00:13:51,489 Who wouldn't want to buy it? 306 00:13:51,513 --> 00:13:52,840 I dare you to tell me. 307 00:13:52,864 --> 00:13:54,641 I cannot tell you. I lose the dare. 308 00:13:54,665 --> 00:13:56,010 Mm-hm. That's right. 309 00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:57,712 So did anybody come by and look at it yet? 310 00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:59,062 Uh, no. 311 00:13:59,086 --> 00:14:02,449 No. That's okay! It's totally okay. 312 00:14:02,473 --> 00:14:04,185 Nobody sells a house after the first 2 weeks. 313 00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,137 No. Nobody. I mean, well, people do, 314 00:14:06,161 --> 00:14:08,055 but that's ok! 315 00:14:08,079 --> 00:14:09,006 It's great. Yeah. 316 00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:10,308 It's great. 317 00:14:10,332 --> 00:14:12,626 By the way, I, uh, talked to the electrician, 318 00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:14,729 and he said to fix the wiring 319 00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:15,763 and patch up the hole, 320 00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:18,032 it's gonna run us $1800. 321 00:14:18,056 --> 00:14:19,150 Wow. That's weird because 322 00:14:19,174 --> 00:14:20,351 I talked to the plumber, 323 00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:22,220 and he said the leak in the upstairs bathroom 324 00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:23,988 is gonna run us 1800 too. 325 00:14:24,012 --> 00:14:24,789 Really? Yeah. 326 00:14:24,813 --> 00:14:26,657 Well, that's a "coinky-dink." 327 00:14:26,681 --> 00:14:28,843 Spooky. 328 00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:30,694 Mm. Mwah! 329 00:14:30,718 --> 00:14:31,851 All right. 330 00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:35,399 We're never gonna sell this place, are we? 331 00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:36,767 Not ever. 332 00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:38,603 I knew it! I just knew you- 333 00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,187 It was a big mistake with the whole, 334 00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:41,955 "We'll just flip it! We'll flip it!" 335 00:14:41,979 --> 00:14:43,591 What? That's the way my boss got rich. 336 00:14:43,615 --> 00:14:44,792 Well, here's the difference. 337 00:14:44,816 --> 00:14:46,717 He's smart. You're dumb as ass! 338 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:49,830 Well, you know what? 339 00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:51,465 This is all your fault really. 340 00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:52,400 What?! Yeah, that's right. 341 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,185 You rushed me into making an offer with, 342 00:14:54,209 --> 00:14:55,436 "Lou's watering the plants. 343 00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:57,772 He's gonna buy the house. He's got a big brain." 344 00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:58,823 Do not try to pin this all on me. 345 00:14:58,847 --> 00:15:00,274 This is all your evil plan. 346 00:15:00,298 --> 00:15:01,375 Oh, it's just business, Doug. 347 00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:03,844 Oh. You know, actually, we got exactly what we deserved. 348 00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:05,545 We pretended to care about some dead guy 349 00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:06,814 whose name we don't even know. 350 00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:08,182 I still don't even know it! 351 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:11,452 I want to say Pete, but I'm pretty sure I'm wrong. 352 00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:14,204 Okay. Lower your voice. The neighbors will hear us. 353 00:15:14,228 --> 00:15:16,196 We are the neighbors! 354 00:15:22,404 --> 00:15:23,847 By the way, you promised me a boat. 355 00:15:23,871 --> 00:15:25,349 I'm getting my boat. 356 00:15:25,373 --> 00:15:26,734 Oh, no, you're not. Oh, yes, I am. 357 00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:28,051 And I'm naming it after you: 358 00:15:28,075 --> 00:15:29,276 The Dumb As Ass. 359 00:15:31,663 --> 00:15:33,658 Well, let me tell you something, 360 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,059 Captain Sandwich. 361 00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:36,493 The only reason why I did this 362 00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:38,395 is so we finally had a shot at some real money. 363 00:15:38,419 --> 00:15:40,698 It's always about money with you. You're obsessed! 364 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:42,400 Well, maybe I wouldn't be if I married a man 365 00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:43,967 who had one ounce of ambition. 366 00:15:43,991 --> 00:15:46,370 Oh. Well, then, maybe you should've married somebody else. 367 00:15:46,394 --> 00:15:47,704 Well, too late for that now. 368 00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:49,489 No. Hey. You know, we get divorced, huh? 369 00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:50,908 I'll divorce you right now. 370 00:15:50,932 --> 00:15:53,199 Oh. I will divorce the crap out of you. 371 00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,839 Let's jus-Let's just regroup, okay? 372 00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:01,419 Come on. All right. 373 00:16:01,443 --> 00:16:04,555 Now let's just fix what we can fix 374 00:16:04,579 --> 00:16:05,856 and sell the house for what we can, 375 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,324 and just get back 376 00:16:07,348 --> 00:16:10,250 to our normal, poverty-stricken lives. 377 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,664 I would love that. 378 00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:16,400 I'm sorry for-For what I said. 379 00:16:16,424 --> 00:16:17,835 I know you are. 380 00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,220 You would never divorce me, right? 381 00:16:20,244 --> 00:16:21,328 No. 382 00:16:23,214 --> 00:16:24,264 No! 383 00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:37,677 That's it. Finish it all. 384 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,425 You know, this coffee is 385 00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:42,900 starting to grow on me. 386 00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:45,496 Is anything else... 387 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,454 growing on you? 388 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,684 Oh. By the way, 389 00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:52,219 I have to cancel our date tomorrow. 390 00:16:52,243 --> 00:16:54,261 I'm going out of town. What? 391 00:16:55,563 --> 00:16:57,924 Well, I-I'll only be gone for a week. 392 00:16:57,948 --> 00:16:59,543 Well. A lot can happen in a week. 393 00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:01,545 What if your hair falls out, 394 00:17:01,569 --> 00:17:03,380 or you have difficulty blinking? 395 00:17:03,404 --> 00:17:04,638 I- I'll never know. 396 00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:09,703 Arthur, you know, I-I really enjoy being with you. 397 00:17:09,727 --> 00:17:13,240 But I must say, some of your questions are awfully strange. 398 00:17:13,264 --> 00:17:15,242 You know, you gals amaze me. 399 00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:18,045 You're always saying we men are afraid of intimacy. 400 00:17:18,069 --> 00:17:20,314 But I ask you for one stool sample, 401 00:17:20,338 --> 00:17:21,738 and suddenly I'm the bad guy. 402 00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:27,305 What is going on here? 403 00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:29,256 I'm doing a drug trial. What? 404 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,808 I was afraid of the side effects, 405 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,816 so I've been putting the pills in your coffee. 406 00:17:35,003 --> 00:17:38,065 Oh, my-! How dare you! 407 00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:40,618 How dare me? 408 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,620 I've been plying you with top-of-the-line 409 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:43,921 experimental drugs, 410 00:17:43,945 --> 00:17:46,312 and now you're leaving me in the lurch! 411 00:17:47,865 --> 00:17:50,861 Oh! To think I actually thought you cared about me, 412 00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:53,964 when all the time I was just your lab rat. 413 00:17:53,988 --> 00:17:54,915 I understand you're upset, 414 00:17:54,939 --> 00:17:56,082 but just tell me one thing. 415 00:17:56,106 --> 00:17:57,451 What? 416 00:17:57,475 --> 00:17:59,603 Would you say your psoriasis is much better, 417 00:17:59,627 --> 00:18:01,828 somewhat better, or no change at all? 418 00:18:08,269 --> 00:18:10,414 Here we have a lovely working fireplace, 419 00:18:10,438 --> 00:18:12,182 perfect for roasting marshmallows 420 00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,919 when little-Little Michael has some sleepovers. 421 00:18:14,943 --> 00:18:15,836 It's Malik. 422 00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:16,903 Malik. Right. 423 00:18:16,927 --> 00:18:18,588 Either way, he's a little stud. 424 00:18:18,612 --> 00:18:20,657 Good thing I'm not gonna be his teacher when he's 13. 425 00:18:20,681 --> 00:18:23,033 You know what I'm saying? Ha! 426 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,646 You know? Ha-ha! 427 00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:27,664 Hey! Hey, honey. This is Larry 428 00:18:27,688 --> 00:18:29,633 and Vanessa Taylor, and their son, Malik. 429 00:18:29,657 --> 00:18:32,092 How you doing? Whoa. Don't want to mess with this guy. 430 00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:34,739 Can we look at the kitchen again? 431 00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:36,930 Sure. Go ahead and take it for a test drive. 432 00:18:40,951 --> 00:18:42,580 Honey, I think they're interested. 433 00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:43,714 Oh, that's great. 434 00:18:43,738 --> 00:18:45,415 Oh, what about all the, uh, wire repairs 435 00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:47,518 and the plumbing repairs? All done. 436 00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:49,536 You're kidding me. What did it cost us? 437 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,138 Not as much as you think. 438 00:18:51,162 --> 00:18:52,829 That's great. How much? 439 00:18:54,882 --> 00:18:56,359 Sorry, what was it? 440 00:18:56,383 --> 00:18:57,878 Seventy-five dollars. Ahem. 441 00:18:57,902 --> 00:18:58,896 Seventy-five-It was 442 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,564 supposed to cost us like four grand. 443 00:19:00,588 --> 00:19:02,683 Who the hell did it for 75? 444 00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,890 Barefoot guy. 445 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:06,821 Barefoot guy?! Does-? 446 00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,822 Did he even really fix anything? 447 00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:10,257 Oh, fix, not fix. 448 00:19:10,281 --> 00:19:11,375 Why do you always gotta 449 00:19:11,399 --> 00:19:12,866 slap a label on everything? 450 00:19:14,435 --> 00:19:15,729 Carrie, we cannot do this. 451 00:19:15,753 --> 00:19:17,615 We are not screwing over these people. 452 00:19:17,639 --> 00:19:18,999 What? The old lady screwed us over, 453 00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:20,767 so we're gonna screw over somebody else. 454 00:19:20,791 --> 00:19:22,336 It's the circle of life. 455 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,260 Carrie? Yes? 456 00:19:25,763 --> 00:19:27,958 Think we'd like to put in an offer. 457 00:19:27,982 --> 00:19:29,627 Really? 458 00:19:29,651 --> 00:19:31,178 This is a great house. 459 00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:32,712 And that little room off the master 460 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,298 is gonna be perfect for the baby. 461 00:19:34,322 --> 00:19:36,050 Baby? 462 00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:38,241 Yeah. We got one on the way. 463 00:19:40,661 --> 00:19:41,939 A- a-actually, 464 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,373 D- Doug and I have been talking, 465 00:19:43,397 --> 00:19:44,374 and, uh, we don't think 466 00:19:44,398 --> 00:19:45,409 this is the- 467 00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:47,061 It's the right house for you. 468 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,229 Why not? 469 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,496 Oh, we just don't think you're- 470 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,532 You're gonna be happy here. 471 00:19:51,556 --> 00:19:53,400 Is this 'cause we're black? 472 00:19:53,424 --> 00:19:54,351 What? No. 473 00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:55,586 No, no. 474 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:56,787 Then what's the problem? 475 00:19:56,811 --> 00:19:58,489 The house has a million things wrong with it. 476 00:19:58,513 --> 00:20:00,407 It's a very bad house. 477 00:20:00,431 --> 00:20:02,409 It was fine a few minutes ago. 478 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:04,278 Look, we're telling you the truth, okay? 479 00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:05,796 Oh, you don't believe- 480 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:06,847 Can I borrow this for a second? 481 00:20:06,871 --> 00:20:08,348 Okay. All right, thank you. 482 00:20:08,372 --> 00:20:10,540 How's this for fine craftsmanship? 483 00:20:13,677 --> 00:20:15,655 Actually, that wall is pretty solid. 484 00:20:15,679 --> 00:20:17,624 Honey, why don't you show them the broken pipes? 485 00:20:17,648 --> 00:20:19,459 That'll prove we love black people. 486 00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:22,663 Yes! Yes! Great idea! 487 00:20:22,687 --> 00:20:24,621 Okay. Everybody, you better take cover. 488 00:20:26,457 --> 00:20:28,468 Get up there girl. Okay. All right. 489 00:20:28,492 --> 00:20:29,836 Hit it. Come on. I'm trying, baby. 490 00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:31,872 Just jab at it. That's it. See? I'm jabbing. 491 00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:33,546 Yeah, bad. Bad house. 492 00:20:36,651 --> 00:20:37,817 Shame on you. 493 00:20:44,058 --> 00:20:45,893 You better watch your back. 494 00:21:11,869 --> 00:21:13,364 So should we take the offer? 495 00:21:13,388 --> 00:21:15,366 I don't know. We're getting killed here. 496 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:17,101 What other choice do we have? 497 00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:19,026 All right. 498 00:21:20,194 --> 00:21:21,428 Let's do this. Okay. 499 00:21:25,533 --> 00:21:26,643 Lou... 500 00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:28,278 we've decided to accept your offer. 501 00:21:28,302 --> 00:21:29,302 Great. 502 00:21:30,270 --> 00:21:32,499 We still think you're low-balling us. 503 00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:33,973 Oh, I am.