1
00:00:12,378 --> 00:00:13,378
Hey. Hey.

2
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,158
Why are you all dressed up?

3
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:19,111
Well, you told me Carrie got
us into her company sky box.

4
00:00:19,135 --> 00:00:20,379
Yeah, but it's
still a Mets game.

5
00:00:20,403 --> 00:00:22,365
Why are you going all
Cliff Huxtable on me?

6
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,533
I've never been in the
really fancy seats before,

7
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:25,701
and I'm a little excited.

8
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,102
If I can make your
dream come true

9
00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:29,004
and make us even for
breaking your drill,

10
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:30,489
then that's all that matters.

11
00:00:30,513 --> 00:00:31,957
You told me you were
gonna pay for that.

12
00:00:31,981 --> 00:00:33,725
And I am, with the
magic of Shea Stadium.

13
00:00:33,749 --> 00:00:34,794
Oh, man.

14
00:00:34,818 --> 00:00:35,861
Well, I guess it's better

15
00:00:35,885 --> 00:00:37,163
than when you lost my cell phone

16
00:00:37,187 --> 00:00:39,031
and paid me back with
the magic of a song

17
00:00:39,055 --> 00:00:41,167
written personally for me. Okay,

18
00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:43,842
you didn't like "Get
Your Freak On, Deac-on"?

19
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:47,139
All right.

20
00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:49,258
We should get going.
Where's Spence?

21
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:51,126
Oh, he's, uh, gonna
meet us there.

22
00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:53,162
He's getting his mom into
a tub or out of a tub.

23
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,481
I don't know. I shut
down pretty quick.

24
00:00:55,505 --> 00:00:56,849
Thanks for the tickets, Carrie.

25
00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:59,318
Yeah, listen, I'm schmoozing
a very big client tonight,

26
00:00:59,342 --> 00:01:01,420
so if you wanna show
your appreciation,

27
00:01:01,444 --> 00:01:03,345
you keep this one
from embarrassing me.

28
00:01:04,614 --> 00:01:06,559
I didn't shave the Mets
logo into my chest hair

29
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:07,893
just for you to enjoy.

30
00:01:07,917 --> 00:01:08,994
It's for everyone.

31
00:01:09,018 --> 00:01:11,270
All right. Come on.

32
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,767
Here you go.

33
00:01:48,791 --> 00:01:50,769
One martini, extra dry.

34
00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:52,488
Thank you, Carrie.
Oh, no problem,

35
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,790
and if you're hungry, they have
a great spread over there.

36
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,126
They have, uh, mini-quiche,
stuffed mushrooms,

37
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,551
and if you like living on
the edge, ballpark sushi.

38
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,948
Carrie, I truly like
getting my ass kissed,

39
00:02:02,972 --> 00:02:06,002
but it's a nine-inning
game, so pace yourself.

40
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,736
Yeah.

41
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,171
Just following orders.

42
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:10,806
Ha, ha. Seriously, though,

43
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,258
all sucking up aside,
I really admire

44
00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:14,827
what you've done
with your company.

45
00:02:14,851 --> 00:02:16,995
You've built some of the
most beautiful hotels

46
00:02:17,019 --> 00:02:19,121
that I can never
afford to stay in.

47
00:02:20,339 --> 00:02:22,885
Real-estate development
is still a boys' club,

48
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,854
but I'm always looking
for a talented woman

49
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,489
to take under my wing.

50
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,090
Really? That's funny,

51
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:31,266
because I'm actually
between wings right now.

52
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:33,913
Oh, excuse me. Yeah.

53
00:02:33,937 --> 00:02:35,213
Joyce Robbins.

54
00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:37,083
Oh, I-I have to take this. Okay,

55
00:02:37,107 --> 00:02:39,068
I just want to find my husband.
I want you to meet him.

56
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,970
Where is he? What?!

57
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,106
No, those tenants were
supposed to be out by Monday.

58
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,173
What?!

59
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:46,932
Oh, you're breaking up.

60
00:02:50,887 --> 00:02:52,465
You put mayo on a hot dog?

61
00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:53,799
That's right, my friend.

62
00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:56,458
And one day, so will
all of America.

63
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,527
Excuse me.

64
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:05,761
Come on, man, let's move.

65
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,863
Yeah, I can't. There's
a lot of people.

66
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,849
Oh, God. You know what?
This ain't working.

67
00:03:10,873 --> 00:03:14,036
I'm just gonna crouch and eat.
Whoa, whoa. Come on, man.

68
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,938
You're better than this.

69
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,896
Come on. It's not that far.

70
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,628
It's called turning
off the water.

71
00:03:22,652 --> 00:03:23,862
Excuse me.

72
00:03:23,886 --> 00:03:25,764
Read me exactly what
the court order says.

73
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,165
Excuse me, I just can't, uh...

74
00:03:27,189 --> 00:03:28,751
No, I can't hear you.

75
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,526
What? Wait-

76
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,274
Do you see what you did?

77
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,276
I'm very sorry. I just-
I couldn't get by you.

78
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:41,430
Well, a person with manners
would have waited.

79
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:42,231
That's a good point.

80
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,889
You know what another
good point is?

81
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,923
Oh, where you going?
Where am I going?

82
00:03:51,947 --> 00:03:55,327
I gotta rebuild.
Aw, unbelievable.

83
00:03:55,351 --> 00:03:59,198
Oh, this big oaf got mayonnaise
and relish all over me.

84
00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:03,425
I mean, who puts
mayonnaise on a hot dog?

85
00:04:07,864 --> 00:04:10,943
This is an $800
Giuseppe Graziano,

86
00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:12,677
and now it's ruined.

87
00:04:12,701 --> 00:04:15,297
I could just kill
that fat idiot.

88
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,632
Hey,

89
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,250
there's the girl.

90
00:04:18,274 --> 00:04:19,952
Oh. Is this your husband?

91
00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:23,739
Uh... yes! Yes, it is! Oh.

92
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,774
Hey, honey. Heh.

93
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:27,243
Work with me, okay?

94
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,078
Um, Doug, this is Joyce Robbins.

95
00:04:30,102 --> 00:04:31,480
Hello.

96
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,549
Very nice to meet you. Why
don't you get acquainted?

97
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,300
I'm gonna report that
guy to Security.

98
00:04:35,324 --> 00:04:37,453
I'm gonna suggest
they TASER him.

99
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,677
Great.

100
00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,566
Is that a Giuseppe Graziano?

101
00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:49,114
Turn it around. What?

102
00:04:49,138 --> 00:04:51,167
Yeah, that's right.
That was my client!

103
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,200
Who? The woman you got

104
00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:54,637
your disgusting
hot dog all over.

105
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,922
How 'bout she got herself
all over my hot dog, huh?

106
00:04:56,946 --> 00:04:58,841
That's right! I said it!

107
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:01,143
Doug, you are not
going in that box.

108
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,745
So go watch the game
somewhere else.

109
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,146
Both of you, out!

110
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,180
What did I do?

111
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:07,182
This happened on your watch.

112
00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:08,550
Now, out!

113
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:11,126
Damn!

114
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,741
Okay, the roast is in the oven.

115
00:05:15,765 --> 00:05:17,676
The sangria is chilling.

116
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:18,844
I just think it is so cute

117
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,496
you're throwing
this dinner party.

118
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,748
Then why are you
trying to ruin it?!

119
00:05:22,772 --> 00:05:24,450
What? What did I do?

120
00:05:24,474 --> 00:05:26,618
These seating arrangements.
What were you thinking?

121
00:05:26,642 --> 00:05:28,570
What's wrong with them?
Well, for one thing,

122
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,756
you've got Lou Ferrigno
sitting next to his wife.

123
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:33,509
You never sit spouses
next to each other!

124
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,178
Well, I told you, I've
never done this before.

125
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:38,297
That's all right!
Don't cry again.

126
00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:41,182
See, I'll put Mrs.
Ferrigno next to...

127
00:05:41,206 --> 00:05:44,620
Roberto, the bag boy
from Waldbaum's.

128
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:47,155
The sexual tension will
be like rocket fuel

129
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:49,558
for the party.

130
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:52,811
I thought that was what
the brownies were for.

131
00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:54,930
Actually, no, I decided
against those.

132
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:58,434
Ferrigno tends to get
pretty paranoid.

133
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,552
You put a lot of thought
into your dinner parties.

134
00:06:00,576 --> 00:06:04,056
I have to. I'm host. I'm chef.
I'm jester.

135
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,292
Everything depends on me.

136
00:06:06,316 --> 00:06:08,293
Well, I'm sure it's gonna
work out just fine.

137
00:06:08,317 --> 00:06:09,611
Oh! I should take this one away.

138
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:11,747
Dr. Feldman called and
said he can't make it.

139
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:12,881
What?

140
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:14,399
He said he wouldn't
feel comfortable

141
00:06:14,423 --> 00:06:18,420
coming to the party, seeing
as how you're suing him.

142
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,756
That's a separate issue.

143
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,340
Oh, my God. What
are we gonna do?

144
00:06:22,364 --> 00:06:25,610
An odd number of guests
is dinner-party suicide.

145
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,312
Well, don't you
know anyone else?

146
00:06:27,336 --> 00:06:28,981
No. Do you?

147
00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:30,549
Yeah, I-I know some people.

148
00:06:30,573 --> 00:06:32,318
Then get someone.

149
00:06:32,342 --> 00:06:34,309
Preferably a urologist.

150
00:06:44,587 --> 00:06:46,048
Hey, how 'bout those
two down there?

151
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,366
Those look pretty sweet.

152
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,334
Yeah, they are
pretty sweet, but...

153
00:06:49,358 --> 00:06:52,004
I'm not sure we can
get past the bacon.

154
00:06:52,028 --> 00:06:53,211
Just go.

155
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:58,960
What's up, man? What's up, baby?

156
00:06:58,984 --> 00:07:00,763
You doing all right? Ha, ha, ha!

157
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:04,400
Alrighty. Ah! Good
old 11 and 12.

158
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,134
Ah. Ah, feels good.

159
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:07,459
Oh, yeah.

160
00:07:08,878 --> 00:07:11,339
Hey, uh, I think
you're in our seats.

161
00:07:11,363 --> 00:07:12,641
Huh? Yeah.

162
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:15,276
Oh, um... my God.

163
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,779
Is this field box J?

164
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:19,180
Oh, my God. Is this third base?

165
00:07:19,204 --> 00:07:21,382
I am all turned around.
This is third base.

166
00:07:21,406 --> 00:07:23,535
Ah, man. My bad.

167
00:07:23,559 --> 00:07:24,686
Sorry about that.

168
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:25,988
It's crazy.

169
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,223
I'm losing it! Losing it! Hey!

170
00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:30,359
Ah. All right. Let's just
go to the upper deck.

171
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,693
Upper deck!? Fine.

172
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:34,296
Now you're back to owing me
for breaking my power drill.

173
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,764
Come on, man.

174
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,466
We'll find some seats
down here, okay?

175
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:38,467
What were you doing

176
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,936
trying to drill through
concrete anyway?

177
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,172
Okay, I had a power drill
and a few Heinekens.

178
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,762
You do the math.

179
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,533
Look, down here. Come on.

180
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:52,770
All right. Okay. Here we go.

181
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,218
Oh, yeah.

182
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,909
Oh, these are really sweet.
Yeah.

183
00:07:58,944 --> 00:08:00,422
Hey, hey, Beltran's up.

184
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,441
Hey, come on, Carlos! Hey!

185
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:03,642
Come on, C-dog!

186
00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:05,377
C- dog, a little big one, baby!

187
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:06,735
Whoo! Yeah.

188
00:08:17,046 --> 00:08:18,914
Someone's throwing
baby carrots at me.

189
00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:26,171
That's funny, but
we're done now.

190
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,690
Okay, that's it. Ma'am.
Ma'am. Ma'am!

191
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:35,757
Hold on a sec. What is it?

192
00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:36,792
I'll tell you what it is.

193
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,660
Your son is throwing
carrots at me, okay?

194
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,062
Brandon! Enough! Control him.

195
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,064
Take a time-out or something.

196
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,565
I'm sorry, Tina.

197
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:46,434
Oh, Brandon is throwing
carrots at some man...

198
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:49,060
who, by the way, could
stand to eat a few.

199
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:57,045
So last Valentine's
Day, I come home,

200
00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:59,948
Carrie's got the entire place
covered in rose petals.

201
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,049
You remember that?

202
00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:02,951
Ah, I think I would.

203
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,086
I did do it.

204
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,221
Mmm. And you know what
the best part was?

205
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:07,489
They were silk petals

206
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:09,842
because she knows that
I'm allergic to pollen.

207
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,143
Oh, yeah, he is.

208
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:13,168
If you can imagine, that
head gets even bigger.

209
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:16,404
Stop! Ha, ha, ha!

210
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,986
I have to say, for
people married 10 years,

211
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:23,522
you seem like newlyweds. Oh,

212
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:25,089
this one keeps the
marriage fresh.

213
00:09:25,113 --> 00:09:27,693
You should see what she does for
my Dark Shadows conventions.

214
00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:31,113
Does this whole
hot-vampire-chick thing

215
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,415
with like a sequined
black bustier and...

216
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:36,024
motorcycle boots...

217
00:09:36,926 --> 00:09:38,793
crimson lipstick.

218
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:41,206
Excuse me.

219
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,758
Joyce Robbins.

220
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,710
One second. One second. Heh.

221
00:09:45,734 --> 00:09:47,596
All right. What's with
all this vampire talk?

222
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,515
And why do you have
me in a bustier?

223
00:09:49,539 --> 00:09:51,616
I'm sorry. I went to a
very private place.

224
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,718
Listen,

225
00:09:52,742 --> 00:09:54,903
we only have to get
through one ball game

226
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,254
as husband and wife, okay?

227
00:09:56,278 --> 00:09:57,956
So just stop talking
so much, you freak.

228
00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:58,974
This-

229
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,976
This whole thing is crazy.

230
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,445
Yeah, well, you can blame your
friend Doug for that, okay,

231
00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,647
and his disgusting
love of mayonnaise.

232
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:06,982
She's coming back.

233
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:10,319
Okay. Would you mind getting
me another martini?

234
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,469
I did get a limo for the night,

235
00:10:11,493 --> 00:10:13,305
so I might as well
take advantage of it.

236
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:14,389
Sure. No problem.

237
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,825
Mmm. And, uh, sugar? Yeah, hon?

238
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,561
Could you get me another
Sauvignon Blanc,

239
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,380
maybe something
from New Zealand?

240
00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:23,165
Oh, think you should
have another drink?

241
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,407
Oh, it got me through
the first 10 years.

242
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,704
I must say you're
the last person

243
00:10:29,728 --> 00:10:32,174
I would ever have imagined
was a truck driver.

244
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,941
Needless to say, I
get that a lot.

245
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,660
Mmm. I mean, you
know about wine.

246
00:10:35,684 --> 00:10:38,096
You're a Revolutionary War buff.

247
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,272
I've always been drawn to a
man of varied interests.

248
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,411
Hey, Car... Hey, uh,
listen, Spence,

249
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,030
I'm sorry I snapped at you.

250
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,514
I really appreciate
you doing this,

251
00:10:56,538 --> 00:10:58,349
and, uh, I think she's
really liking you.

252
00:10:58,373 --> 00:10:59,701
Yeah, I think so.

253
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:03,005
She just invited me down to
her limo to have a drink.

254
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,906
What? She hit on you?

255
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,842
What is she doing
hitting on my husband?

256
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,493
She said I looked tense

257
00:11:08,517 --> 00:11:12,014
and it seemed like I was trapped
in a loveless marriage.

258
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:14,766
What!? We're like
freakin' newlyweds!

259
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,567
We're not actually married-

260
00:11:16,591 --> 00:11:18,603
Shut up. Yes, dear.

261
00:11:18,627 --> 00:11:20,121
Uh, excuse me, Miss Robbins-

262
00:11:20,145 --> 00:11:22,891
Oh, Carrie, I want to talk
to you about something.

263
00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:23,909
Yeah, I want to talk to you

264
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,645
about a little
something-something too.

265
00:11:26,669 --> 00:11:28,146
I have a rather
big favor to ask.

266
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,399
It involves sending
you out of town.

267
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,006
Oh, you wanna send me
outta town, do ya?

268
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,653
And it would be right away.

269
00:11:34,677 --> 00:11:36,572
And where do you wanna
send me right away?

270
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,240
The Bahamas.

271
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:39,264
Really?

272
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:43,628
Yes. We're opening a
5-star resort down there,

273
00:11:43,652 --> 00:11:45,697
and I'd love you to
be my eyes and ears,

274
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:48,584
you know, check out the spa,
the restaurants, the shops.

275
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,775
All expenses paid, of course.

276
00:11:52,828 --> 00:11:55,573
Oh, Carrie, it-It would
really help me out a lot.

277
00:11:55,597 --> 00:11:58,076
I mean, assuming your
husband could...

278
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,600
spare you.

279
00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:03,004
What husband? You
know what I'm saying?

280
00:12:09,178 --> 00:12:13,992
And that's why the Dutch
both delight and repulse me.

281
00:12:14,016 --> 00:12:17,613
May I make a toast
to our host Arthur.

282
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,848
Thank you, Louis. I
have a toast of my own.

283
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,083
But I'll save it

284
00:12:22,107 --> 00:12:25,320
for when we gentlemen have
our cigars and brandy

285
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:27,345
out on the driveway, uh?

286
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,142
And, Arthur, I just wanna
thank you for having me

287
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,643
and my Uncle Bernard
here tonight.

288
00:12:32,667 --> 00:12:33,811
Ah, yes, Bernard.

289
00:12:33,835 --> 00:12:36,414
Thank you for coming
on such short notice.

290
00:12:36,438 --> 00:12:38,216
Holly tells me you're-?
You're retired?

291
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:43,388
Yes, yes. I... I cut
hair for 45 years.

292
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:46,747
Well, we're all going to have
to hear more about that.

293
00:12:50,252 --> 00:12:51,980
When are we gonna eat?
I gotta take my pills.

294
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:54,733
In good time, George!

295
00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:56,368
Oh, Arthur made a lovely roast.

296
00:12:56,392 --> 00:12:57,836
And thank you,
Roberto, for giving me

297
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,561
the five-fingered
discount on the potatoes.

298
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,092
I never knew you
could cook, Arthur.

299
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,410
Oh, yes.

300
00:13:05,434 --> 00:13:07,345
I remember the first
thing I ever made.

301
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:11,316
It was a fried bologna sandwich.

302
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,608
That was Elvis' favorite snack.

303
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,454
I'm not saying he stole
the idea from me,

304
00:13:16,478 --> 00:13:17,779
but, uh, you do the math.

305
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:22,093
Actually, Elvis' favorite snack

306
00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:25,430
was a fried peanut butter
and banana sandwich.

307
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,265
Oh. Wow.

308
00:13:27,289 --> 00:13:28,633
I'm sorry, but how
would a barber

309
00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:31,903
know what Elvis'
favorite snack was?

310
00:13:31,927 --> 00:13:34,156
I used to cut his hair.

311
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:35,312
You jiving me?

312
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,859
No-No, no, it's true.

313
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,828
He was the hairdresser
on The Ed Sullivan Show

314
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,062
for years.

315
00:13:41,086 --> 00:13:42,831
You mean, you really knew Elvis?

316
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,115
Oh, I knew 'em all.

317
00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:45,867
Kate Smith,

318
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,452
Alan King,

319
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:48,586
Elizabeth Taylor.

320
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:51,757
She was even more
beautiful in person.

321
00:13:51,781 --> 00:13:53,324
One time I said to her,

322
00:13:53,348 --> 00:13:57,235
"Liz, if I ever turn
straight, watch out!"

323
00:13:59,155 --> 00:14:01,399
Anyway, that's all
well and good.

324
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,068
Getting back to the proper way

325
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,971
to make a fried
bologna sandwich-

326
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:07,272
Did you know The Beatles too?

327
00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:08,974
Oh, sure. You knew The Beatles?

328
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,576
I- I gotta say my
favorite was Ringo.

329
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,446
He-He was a real sweet-
As a matter of fact,

330
00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:16,397
he gave me this, uh-
This money clip.

331
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:17,532
Oh, wow.

332
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:20,058
Ay, que bonito.

333
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:26,798
Yeah! Ha, ha, ha.

334
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,477
What's the matter?

335
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,535
Now he's making faces at me.

336
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,499
You keep making faces like that,

337
00:14:34,523 --> 00:14:35,900
your face is gonna
stay that way.

338
00:14:35,924 --> 00:14:37,919
That's right. Trust me.
Happened to my cousin.

339
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:40,221
Um, sir, would you please
stop bothering my son?

340
00:14:40,245 --> 00:14:42,924
Uh, he is bothering me.

341
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,476
Are you even supposed
to be sitting there?

342
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,679
I happen to know that those are Dr.
Epstein's seats.

343
00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:50,382
Uh, I think Uncle Eppie is
okay with us sitting here.

344
00:14:50,406 --> 00:14:52,207
Yeah.

345
00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:09,234
It's mine now! Yeah!

346
00:15:09,258 --> 00:15:12,754
What's up? What's the
matter, four-eyes? Yeah!

347
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,456
He took my ball!

348
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,824
What is wrong with you?!

349
00:15:16,848 --> 00:15:18,950
He's just a boy.

350
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:26,690
Hey, honey, how's
the big game going?

351
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:29,270
How did it go? Did
you tell her off?

352
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:31,389
Uh, not exactly. Um...

353
00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:34,759
here's what we're
gonna do, okay?

354
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:37,562
You're gonna go down
to her limo with her,

355
00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:39,420
and I'm gonna go to the Bahamas.

356
00:15:40,822 --> 00:15:42,434
What!?

357
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:45,336
Yeah. Apparently, she
likes you so much

358
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,238
that she's willing to
give me a free vacation

359
00:15:47,262 --> 00:15:48,824
just to get rid of me!

360
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:49,690
Wait a minute.

361
00:15:49,714 --> 00:15:51,192
A second ago, you
were so insulted.

362
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,860
Now you're gonna pimp
out your husband

363
00:15:52,884 --> 00:15:54,485
so you can lie in the sun.

364
00:15:56,638 --> 00:15:58,917
Yeah.

365
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:02,254
So you really want me to go
down and have sex with her?

366
00:16:02,278 --> 00:16:04,879
I'm not gonna micromanage
what you do down there.

367
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:10,312
Isn't she a little
too old for me?

368
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,119
She looks 45, tops.

369
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,366
I don't know. It just
doesn't feel right.

370
00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:16,934
Let me go about this
a different way.

371
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:19,020
Who's your favorite
character on Star Trek?

372
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,690
Squire of Gothos.

373
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,809
Okay. I was thinking more
like the Captain Kirk guy.

374
00:16:24,833 --> 00:16:26,144
Oh, yeah.

375
00:16:26,168 --> 00:16:28,479
Okay. Now, when he beams
down on a new planet

376
00:16:28,503 --> 00:16:30,348
and he meets a
half-fish green girl,

377
00:16:30,372 --> 00:16:32,616
does he say, "Oh, this
doesn't feel right"?

378
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,919
No, he takes her behind a rock
and he does his business.

379
00:16:34,943 --> 00:16:36,210
Am I right?

380
00:16:39,864 --> 00:16:42,510
Technically, that would
violate the Prime Directive-

381
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,278
Spence, please.

382
00:16:44,302 --> 00:16:46,437
All right, all right!

383
00:17:18,136 --> 00:17:20,481
Damn, I got goosebumps.

384
00:17:20,505 --> 00:17:22,167
Where'd you learn
to play like that?

385
00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:23,751
Listen, when you're gay,

386
00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:25,119
you're born knowing how to play

387
00:17:25,143 --> 00:17:26,844
at least three show tunes.

388
00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:32,033
Come on, everybody.

389
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:44,705
Arthur, what a great party.

390
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:46,040
If I wasn't a gentleman,

391
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:48,109
I'd punch you square
in the mouth.

392
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,494
What? What did I do?

393
00:17:49,518 --> 00:17:50,361
That uncle of yours.

394
00:17:50,385 --> 00:17:52,113
You pawned him off
as some dull barber.

395
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:55,367
Turns out he's a
fascinating homosexual!

396
00:17:55,391 --> 00:17:57,368
Arthur, everyone is
having a wonderful time.

397
00:17:57,392 --> 00:17:58,870
Yes. But not because of me.

398
00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:00,438
Does that really matter?

399
00:18:00,462 --> 00:18:03,625
Why do you think I got this
collection of misfits together?

400
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,849
To hear what they had to say?!

401
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,762
All right, listen to me, Arthur,

402
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,947
I am not gonna let you
ruin this dinner party.

403
00:18:09,971 --> 00:18:12,216
Someone is playing footsies
with me under the table,

404
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,185
and if that turns
out to be Roberto,

405
00:18:14,209 --> 00:18:16,654
I'd kinda like to
see that through.

406
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,479
So dinner is served!

407
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:25,646
Yo corté el pelo
de Erik Estrada,

408
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:30,952
Ricardo Montalban, Desi
Arnaz, senior and junior.

409
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:34,789
Wow. Este hombre es fantástico.

410
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,158
I can't believe you can
speak Spanish too.

411
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:40,495
I once had a lover
who was a Spaniard.

412
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:41,796
Oh. There you go.

413
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,670
So did I.

414
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:50,338
Oh, you mean, a Spanish woman.

415
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:51,739
No.

416
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:54,676
You think he's the only one
here with a fabulous gay past?

417
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,728
Arthur...

418
00:18:56,752 --> 00:18:59,080
Why, I have had encounters
with thousands of men:

419
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:02,889
Black men, Latin
men, bodybuilders!

420
00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:09,257
Now let me tell you a story
about a confused Army recruit,

421
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:11,459
a bottle of moonshine

422
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,485
and a stern but loving
drill sergeant.

423
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,667
I was already exhausted
from the obstacle course.

424
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,651
Little did I know there
was one more hurdle

425
00:19:20,675 --> 00:19:22,042
I had to clear.

426
00:19:30,352 --> 00:19:31,746
Oh, yeah.

427
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:35,133
We're gonna be in the sky box.
It's gonna be great!

428
00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:37,201
This sweater cost me 100 bucks.

429
00:19:37,225 --> 00:19:40,404
Serves you right for trying
to be somebody you're not.

430
00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:43,807
Okay, you know what? That
one had some soda in it!

431
00:19:43,831 --> 00:19:45,543
Just give the kid
the ball back, man!

432
00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:48,613
No! All right? This
doesn't bother me.

433
00:19:48,637 --> 00:19:50,381
I'm just enjoying a
little baseball.

434
00:19:50,405 --> 00:19:52,583
Come on, first and third,
let's see a little action!

435
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:54,285
You're giving the kid the ball!

436
00:19:54,309 --> 00:19:56,020
Oh, really? Yeah, really!

437
00:19:56,044 --> 00:19:57,611
And how's that gonna happen?

438
00:20:01,016 --> 00:20:03,561
Yes, hello. I am flying down
to your island next week,

439
00:20:03,585 --> 00:20:06,587
and I was wondering, is it
too early to book a massage?

440
00:20:07,522 --> 00:20:09,156
Who's got strong hands?

441
00:20:12,627 --> 00:20:13,738
I'll call you back.

442
00:20:13,762 --> 00:20:15,757
Hey, I was just on the
phone with the hotel,

443
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,142
and I like what I'm hearing!

444
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:19,477
Oh, actually, about that,
you know, I just realized

445
00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:21,613
I'm going to be down there
in a few weeks anyway,

446
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,482
so I'll just check
things out myself.

447
00:20:24,506 --> 00:20:25,873
But thanks.

448
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:31,523
Did you chicken out?

449
00:20:31,547 --> 00:20:32,489
No!

450
00:20:32,513 --> 00:20:33,624
What happened?

451
00:20:33,648 --> 00:20:35,209
You've only been
gone for a minute!

452
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,345
I- I'd never been
in a limo before.

453
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:39,680
It was... very exciting.

454
00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:41,372
And it was more
like two minutes.

455
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:45,002
Exciting, Spence?
She's 100 years old.

456
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,721
You said she looked 45.

457
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:49,240
Yeah. From space.

458
00:20:49,264 --> 00:20:51,732
I just wanna-I wanna die.

459
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,262
There! There he is!

460
00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:56,053
There's the man who
ruined my suit.

461
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,961
Hey, Car, isn't
that your husband?

462
00:21:10,735 --> 00:21:12,569
I'm just gonna grab
my purse and go.

463
00:21:24,232 --> 00:21:27,645
So, what's the verdict
on that footsie thing?

464
00:21:27,669 --> 00:21:29,303
Yea or nay?