1 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,087 Yeah. 2 00:00:40,991 --> 00:00:43,376 Welcome to the Final Four. 3 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,362 Ah. Final Four. Just in time. 4 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,642 Hi, hon. 5 00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:51,994 Hey. I thought you guys were gonna be out all day 6 00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,780 celebrating his birthday. 7 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:54,897 Change of plans. 8 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,766 I heard you were home watching basketball, 9 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:59,491 so I told her Six Flags could wait for another day. 10 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:07,282 Excuse me, I gotta get something. 11 00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:11,714 Did you tell him I was home watching the games? 12 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,916 He asked where you were. What was I to say? 13 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,668 I told you what to say. 14 00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:18,504 Oh, yeah, you were reading to blind children. I forgot. 15 00:01:18,528 --> 00:01:21,156 You forgot. Now I'm stuck with the Aqua Velva man. 16 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,926 Doug, just let him watch with you, please? 17 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,395 Think of it as your birthday gift. 18 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,186 My birthday gift is that he's not living in the V.A. hospital. 19 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,500 Look, Carrie. Look, I'm serious. 20 00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,102 I wanted to watch the games by myself. 21 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,337 It's important. My whole office pool rides on this. 22 00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:38,708 What office pool? 23 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,743 Do you listen to anything I say? 24 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,528 I'm selective, I'll admit. 25 00:01:42,552 --> 00:01:44,614 The March Madness pool, okay? 26 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,866 If both my teams win, I get two tickets to St. Louis 27 00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:48,951 for the championship game, all expenses paid. 28 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,419 Douglas! Hurry! 29 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:53,229 You're missing the Maalox Pregame Roundup. 30 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,343 Just let him watch with you. For me. 31 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,061 Okay, fine. Thank you. 32 00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:00,763 Now I just gotta run some more errands, 33 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,232 but I just want you to know that I really appreciate this. 34 00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:04,466 This is very sweet of you. 35 00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:06,926 Well, I hate your guts. 36 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,773 They're doing a feature on one of the players. 37 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,227 Leshandon Hawkins, raised by his grandmother. 38 00:02:14,251 --> 00:02:15,894 Did you ever? 39 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,753 Never. 40 00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:22,324 The most compelling story of this tournament. 41 00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:30,809 This is some fun, huh? 42 00:02:30,833 --> 00:02:32,612 Just the boys watching some round ball. 43 00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:35,214 Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. 44 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,582 Did I ever tell you I used to play 45 00:02:36,606 --> 00:02:37,983 for the Oneonta Red Dragons? 46 00:02:38,007 --> 00:02:39,618 Last night and this morning. 47 00:02:39,642 --> 00:02:42,354 The other players nicknamed me "Crazy Legs Spooner." 48 00:02:42,378 --> 00:02:46,148 Prior to that I was known simply as "Legs Spooner." 49 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,535 Oh, I will get it. 50 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,983 Hello? 51 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,652 What? I can't- 52 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,644 I just sat down, I'm watching the games with my father-in-law. 53 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,658 All right, all right. 54 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,427 I'll be right there. Jeez, bad news, Arthur. 55 00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,096 One of our other drivers got real sick. 56 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,499 I gotta go and fill-in for him. 57 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,700 Oh, my God. Which one? 58 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,925 Oh, uh, it's Tom Mc... Jagger. 59 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,506 Here we go with the opening tip. 60 00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:50,422 And we're down to two minutes left in this thrilling match up. 61 00:03:50,446 --> 00:03:52,575 Hey, Dad. 62 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,076 Where's Doug? 63 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,061 Oh, he left. 64 00:03:56,085 --> 00:03:59,271 He had to fill-in for McJagger. 65 00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:08,781 Simpson, in-bound pass, looking for someone open. 66 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,645 What are you doing? What? 67 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,348 You're supposed to be watching the game with my father. 68 00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:16,432 I tried. It was too painful. 69 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,534 So I just called myself with my cell phone 70 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,653 and, uh, pretended it was work. 71 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,004 The fake phone call thing again? 72 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,407 You know, he's gonna figure that out eventually. 73 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,076 When he figures out Velcro, I'll start worrying. 74 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,912 Come inside so we can do his cake. 75 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,614 No, Carrie, I got a shot at winning this. 76 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,015 Inside now. Ugh. 77 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,173 Okay. 78 00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:41,390 Wilkins sets, 79 00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:44,293 and the final free-throw is good. 80 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:47,029 And that ties the score at 61. 81 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,765 We'll be back with the final 55 seconds 82 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,256 after these words. 83 00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,441 Okay, I'm home from work! Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 84 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,002 Okay. Dad, could you come in here a sec? 85 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:07,316 A cake? I need my Lactaid pills. 86 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:08,250 Oh, I got 'em. I got 'em. 87 00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:09,374 Okay. 88 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,455 No, no, no. These are regular strength. 89 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,206 I need ultra. Okay. 90 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,447 Just eat around the ice cream. 91 00:05:27,977 --> 00:05:29,054 Hello? What? You're kid- 92 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,356 Okay, I'll be right there. 93 00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:32,347 Work again. Unbelievable. 94 00:05:34,483 --> 00:05:37,045 I hate the way those bastards take advantage 95 00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:38,213 of his good nature. 96 00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:40,650 Problem is, he's just too nice. 97 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,334 Yes, that's his curse. 98 00:05:42,358 --> 00:05:43,836 Anyway, why don't you just go ahead 99 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:47,273 and, uh, blow out the candles and make a wish? 100 00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:48,346 Ah. 101 00:05:50,599 --> 00:05:53,228 Okay, that was a wet one. 102 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:55,331 Anyway, what did you wish for? 103 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,832 A tiger cub? 104 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,384 No, no, no, not this year. 105 00:05:58,408 --> 00:06:00,218 I'm 0 for 22 on that one. 106 00:06:00,242 --> 00:06:02,288 What then? Uh, to be honest, 107 00:06:02,312 --> 00:06:05,791 I wished I could spend more time with Douglas. 108 00:06:05,815 --> 00:06:07,460 Really? 109 00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:10,045 Yeah. He's such a wonderful young man, 110 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,948 but it seems every time I'm about to enjoy 111 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:15,784 the pleasure of his company, he's whisked away to his job, 112 00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,854 or one of his charities, or he's locked in his room 113 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,639 stricken with fever. 114 00:06:20,663 --> 00:06:22,892 Oh, well. 115 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:26,145 Let's enjoy this wonderful cake. 116 00:06:26,169 --> 00:06:28,064 I won. I won. 117 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,316 Douglas, I thought you were called back to work? 118 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:33,035 No, t-that was a wrong number. 119 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,287 I'm going to St. Louis for the big game. 120 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:36,255 Oh, that's great. 121 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,374 Sounds like a marvelous adventure. 122 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,599 Um, have you decided who you're gonna take with you? 123 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,232 Yeah, 124 00:06:47,256 --> 00:06:49,291 Deacon. 125 00:06:53,262 --> 00:06:57,009 Did you not see me bulge my eyes and point with my head? 126 00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:59,511 Yeah, I assumed you were having some sort of seizure, 127 00:06:59,535 --> 00:07:00,736 so I left. 128 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,282 Why can't you just- 129 00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:05,150 No, Carrie, I am not taking him to St. Louis. 130 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:07,119 And, you know, it's insane for you to even ask. 131 00:07:07,143 --> 00:07:09,321 But I'm only asking because it's his birthday. 132 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,622 No, no. You got his birthday gift 133 00:07:10,646 --> 00:07:12,324 when you made me watch TV with him. 134 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,743 But you didn't watch TV with him. 135 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,529 He rubbed ear stuff on me. 136 00:07:16,553 --> 00:07:19,114 Okay, look, Doug, I know that he's not a picnic to be around, 137 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,716 but the fact is that he adores you. 138 00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:23,318 Do you know what he wished for tonight 139 00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:24,887 when he was blowing out his candles? 140 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,622 To spend more time with you. 141 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,791 How do you know that? Because he told me. 142 00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,475 If he told you his wish, it can't come true. 143 00:07:30,499 --> 00:07:31,710 Doug. 144 00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:33,462 I don't make the rules, baby. All right. 145 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,297 Let me bottom line this for you, okay? 146 00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,365 You do this for him, 147 00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:39,501 and I will never ask you to do anything with him 148 00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,771 ever, ever again. Yeah, okay. 149 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,938 Yeah, right. No, 150 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,956 I am serious. Take him to St. Louis, 151 00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:46,592 and you are done. 152 00:07:46,616 --> 00:07:48,793 You don't have to drive him to the senior center, 153 00:07:48,817 --> 00:07:50,196 no more playing Monopoly, 154 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,064 Chinese checkers, thumb wrestling, 155 00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:53,615 and my hand to God, 156 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,534 you never have to apply ointment 157 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,842 to his naked back again. 158 00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,324 Wait a second, you just mentioned his back. 159 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,092 You didn't say anything about his front. 160 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,251 Has he got something on his front I don't know about? 161 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,249 Fine. You don't have to do his front, either. 162 00:08:10,273 --> 00:08:11,390 All right. 163 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,404 Hey there, folks. 164 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,206 Welcome aboard flight 317 to St. Louis. 165 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,874 Please make yourselves comfortable, 166 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,765 we should be taking off shortly. 167 00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:25,998 This was a wonderful surprise, Douglas. 168 00:08:26,022 --> 00:08:27,465 Thank you again. 169 00:08:27,489 --> 00:08:28,934 My pleasure. 170 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:32,321 The fact is, I've been itching to spend more time with you. 171 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,872 Really? 172 00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:35,207 I was just telling Carrie 173 00:08:35,231 --> 00:08:37,660 I wanted to spend more time with you. 174 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,079 Wow. 175 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,130 Well, let's just enjoy the time we have together now. 176 00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:43,666 You know, 177 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,808 in case we don't see each other much after this. 178 00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:52,558 Yeah, let the enjoying commence. 179 00:08:52,582 --> 00:08:53,592 What do you got there? 180 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,461 My sleeping pills. 181 00:08:55,485 --> 00:08:56,861 Nervous flyer, huh? 182 00:08:56,885 --> 00:08:58,496 Oh, yes. 183 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,800 More than once I've stormed the cockpit in a panic, 184 00:09:01,824 --> 00:09:04,602 but these days, that's frowned upon. 185 00:09:04,626 --> 00:09:06,655 Hey, folks, this is Captain Bender. 186 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,091 We seem to be having a little problem with the landing gear. 187 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:12,561 Hopefully we'll get it fixed and we'll take off shortly. 188 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,085 Oh, God. 189 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,653 Oh, I'm sorry 190 00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:22,905 your flight's delayed, honey, but hang in there, okay? 191 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:24,874 You're doing a really great thing for him. 192 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,108 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 193 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,160 Uh, how's everything going there? 194 00:09:28,184 --> 00:09:29,861 Uh, it's okay, I guess. 195 00:09:29,885 --> 00:09:31,963 I mean, you know I don't like to be home by myself, 196 00:09:31,987 --> 00:09:33,165 but it is one night. 197 00:09:33,189 --> 00:09:35,900 I'll just try to get through it somehow. 198 00:09:35,924 --> 00:09:37,269 All right. I love you. 199 00:09:37,293 --> 00:09:39,461 I love you too. Bye-bye. 200 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,803 Folks, this is the captain again. 201 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,254 Apparently, our maintenance crew 202 00:09:56,278 --> 00:09:59,308 has been unable to fix the landing gear after all. 203 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,278 But don't worry, we'll get you to St. Louis tonight. 204 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,746 We have another flight that connects through Pittsburgh 205 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,239 leaving from Gate 2 in about 15 minutes. 206 00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:11,443 All right, Arthur, come on, we gotta hustle. 207 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:13,979 Arthur? 208 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,148 Arthur? 209 00:10:47,129 --> 00:10:48,296 Huh? 210 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,493 Douglas? Douglas? 211 00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,511 Yeah, sh-Shhh. 212 00:10:52,535 --> 00:10:55,331 He's old. Uh, I'm here. 213 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,565 What's going on? 214 00:10:57,589 --> 00:11:00,285 Flight got cancelled. We had to grab a connection to Pittsburgh. 215 00:11:00,309 --> 00:11:02,588 We're in Pittsburgh? Yeah. 216 00:11:02,612 --> 00:11:03,855 I've never been in Pittsburgh. 217 00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:06,892 Come on, let's tour the steel mills. 218 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,277 Let's drink from the Monongahela. 219 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,647 We board in a few minutes. Oh. 220 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,032 That's just enough time to load up on some souvenirs. 221 00:11:14,056 --> 00:11:15,967 I'll be back in a jiff. 222 00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:18,326 Hey, we don't have a jiff. 223 00:11:36,145 --> 00:11:37,373 Guess who. 224 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,758 Hey, Joe. What are you doing here? 225 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,727 Oh, I had to go to a buddy of mine's funeral, 226 00:11:41,751 --> 00:11:44,028 but my flight back doesn't leave for a couple of hours, 227 00:11:44,052 --> 00:11:46,181 figured I'd pop in here and surprise you. 228 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,483 Well, mission accomplished. Yeah, heh. 229 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,252 Where's my boy? He upstairs? 230 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,586 Uh, no. 231 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:54,473 Actually, he, uh, won some tickets 232 00:11:54,497 --> 00:11:55,774 to a basketball game, 233 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,644 so he's on his way to St. Louis with my father. 234 00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:01,035 Oh. Ah, jeez, I'm sorry I missed him. 235 00:12:02,171 --> 00:12:04,883 What's all this? You having a séance? 236 00:12:04,907 --> 00:12:06,651 Uh, no, no. I- 237 00:12:06,675 --> 00:12:08,503 Just a little bit of mood lighting. 238 00:12:08,527 --> 00:12:10,295 Won't be needing that now. 239 00:12:11,347 --> 00:12:13,758 Oh, God, you're in the middle of dinner. 240 00:12:13,782 --> 00:12:15,960 Yeah, I'm just having some sushi. You want some? 241 00:12:15,984 --> 00:12:17,496 No, the one time I had that, 242 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,664 I got a tapeworm as big as a baby's leg. 243 00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:21,656 But you enjoy. 244 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,388 Attention all passengers on flight 641 to St. Louis. 245 00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:30,926 This is final boarding. Final boarding for St. Louis. 246 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,917 Damn it, Arthur. Come on. 247 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,396 Hi. 248 00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,499 Excuse me, my father-in-law kind of wandered off. 249 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:38,783 Can you give me five minutes? 250 00:12:38,807 --> 00:12:40,486 I got to get him to St. Louis tonight. 251 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,387 I'm sorry. If it's not an emergency, 252 00:12:42,411 --> 00:12:43,772 I have to close the door now. 253 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,657 Okay. Y-you know, it is an emergency. 254 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,125 If I take him to this game tonight, 255 00:12:47,149 --> 00:12:48,893 I never have to spend time with him again. 256 00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:50,595 Let me tell you something, that is huge, 257 00:12:50,619 --> 00:12:52,697 'cause the guy is brutal. 258 00:12:52,721 --> 00:12:56,952 I mean, if a migraine headache wore a cardigan sweater, 259 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,120 and chewed its soup, that would be Arthur Spooner. 260 00:12:59,144 --> 00:13:00,989 You know what I'm saying? 261 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,624 Arthur. 262 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:06,334 And to think I just bought you an "I Heart Pittsburgh" button. 263 00:13:07,803 --> 00:13:10,288 Arthur! Just give me one second, please? Arthur. 264 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,364 Hey, I'm trying to find a guy 265 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,166 who ran off in that direction right there. 266 00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:30,368 You want to help me chase him? I'll give you 10 bucks. 267 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,770 Sure, hop in. All right, man. 268 00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:34,228 Thank you very much. Let her rip. 269 00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,959 Let her rip. Let her rip. 270 00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,273 Gun it. 271 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,758 Okay. 272 00:13:52,782 --> 00:13:55,750 Not the best 10 bucks I ever spent. Thank you. 273 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,735 Arthur, how'd you get back here? 274 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:06,555 I just did a quick circle around the chairs. 275 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,290 Sir, I'm closing the door now. 276 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:09,525 Are you boarding or not? 277 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,609 Yes. Yes, we are. No, we're not. 278 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:15,330 I'm not flying to St. Louis with a man who despises me. 279 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,282 Never again. Look, I don't- 280 00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:19,201 I don't despise you, okay? 281 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,269 I- I just made that stuff up so he'd hold the gate. 282 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,337 I swear it. Now, come on. 283 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,272 Douglas, I may be a stupid old man, 284 00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:27,009 but I'm not stupid. You meant what you said. 285 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,235 And I'm not getting on that plane. 286 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,315 You know what, Arthur? 287 00:14:34,339 --> 00:14:35,917 You're right. I meant what I said. 288 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,386 I meant every damn word of it. 289 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,721 Every time I got something good in my life, 290 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,957 you come along with your big Mickey Mouse hands 291 00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,026 and scoop it away. 292 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,710 What did I ever take from you? 293 00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:48,230 I defy you to name three things. 294 00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:49,614 My basement, 295 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,815 my privacy, 296 00:14:50,839 --> 00:14:53,285 a quarter of my paycheck every week. 297 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,493 I defy you to name three more. 298 00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:58,874 There are thousands more, okay, Arthur? 299 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,576 Let's go with the latest one, this game. 300 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,010 I really wanted to go to this game 301 00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,962 and you blew it for me. 302 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,813 I will not give you the satisfaction 303 00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:07,249 of lording this over me. 304 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:10,219 I will get you to your precious game. 305 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,993 How the hell are you gonna do that? 306 00:15:33,949 --> 00:15:36,260 How you doing there, Joe? Getting close maybe? 307 00:15:36,284 --> 00:15:37,796 Few more seconds. 308 00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:39,564 Okay. 309 00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:42,000 startin' to get the shakes. 310 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,035 All right. 311 00:15:44,059 --> 00:15:45,269 Let her down gently. 312 00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:47,338 Okay. 313 00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:49,073 Ugh. How's that? 314 00:15:49,097 --> 00:15:50,375 She still wobbling? 315 00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,844 Didn't notice that she was wobbling before, 316 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,679 but it seems fine now. 317 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:57,048 Ah, I don't know. 318 00:15:57,072 --> 00:15:58,817 Let me see. 319 00:15:58,841 --> 00:15:59,951 Whoa. 320 00:15:59,975 --> 00:16:01,386 You don't have a level. 321 00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,689 I don't know. Just what's here is put in the box. 322 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,173 All right, no need to panic. 323 00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,474 I can make one lickety-split. 324 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:07,976 All I need is a couple of Dixie cups, 325 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,145 a Ping-Pong ball and a drop of oil. 326 00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,114 Joe, the table's fine now. 327 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,915 It's your house. 328 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,183 Now, the last time I was here, 329 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:16,751 I noticed the ice was a little milky. 330 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,487 Come on, help me move the fridge out. 331 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,821 No. 332 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:20,922 What's the matter? 333 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:23,091 Look, Joe, I am done moving furniture 334 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,626 for tonight, okay? 335 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,519 And that also includes sanding and varnishing. 336 00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:30,599 Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Carrie. 337 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,502 I guess I kind of did barge in and take over, huh? 338 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,671 Yeah, a little bit. 339 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,171 Listen, I think maybe I'd better, uh, 340 00:16:37,195 --> 00:16:38,573 head over to the airport 341 00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:42,176 and, uh, hang out there till my flight leaves. 342 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,580 Again, I'm sorry if I interrupted your evening. 343 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,983 It was good seeing you, Carrie. 344 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,318 Oh, Joe. 345 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,688 Wait. Please. 346 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,574 I want you to stay, really I do. 347 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,859 Really? 348 00:16:57,883 --> 00:17:00,028 Can't we just sit and talk? You know, have a normal visit 349 00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:02,887 without power tools and Dixie cups? 350 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,801 I'd like that. 351 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,158 Me too. 352 00:17:24,659 --> 00:17:27,272 Thank you. Without you, we wouldn't have had a minyan. 353 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,130 Well, that's what we do. 354 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:37,065 Okay, that was ridiculous. 355 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,967 You're lucky I taught pottery on a kibbutz 356 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,870 or I never could have talked our way on here. 357 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,037 Okay, if I were lucky, 358 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,840 you wouldn't be living in my basement. 359 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,532 And if I were lucky, you wouldn't be so fat. 360 00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:50,528 What does that have to do with luck? 361 00:17:50,552 --> 00:17:53,749 I can't hear you, you're too fat. 362 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,468 Oh, God! What was that? 363 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,869 I don't know. 364 00:17:57,893 --> 00:18:00,071 Gentlemen, we've hit a bit of weather here. 365 00:18:00,095 --> 00:18:02,073 It's going to be pretty bumpy the rest of the way 366 00:18:02,097 --> 00:18:03,475 to St. Louis, so please make sure 367 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,443 you keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you. 368 00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:06,644 Where are my pills? 369 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:09,103 You took 'em all in New York. Oh, God! 370 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,268 Just relax, okay? 371 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,987 I can't relax. I'm terrified. 372 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,490 I wish I'd really prayed with these men 373 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:22,027 instead of just making silly noises. 374 00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:23,334 Aagh! 375 00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,041 Come on. 376 00:18:35,463 --> 00:18:37,509 Just relax. You all right? 377 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:38,776 You okay? 378 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,145 I- I don't want to die, Douglas. 379 00:18:41,169 --> 00:18:43,815 You're not gonna die, okay? It's just turbulence. 380 00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:46,541 I mean, I don't want to die ever. 381 00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:49,944 With my luck, you won't. 382 00:18:51,813 --> 00:18:53,447 Douglas, 383 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,995 when my time does come, 384 00:18:57,019 --> 00:18:59,187 am I headed upstairs or downstairs? 385 00:18:59,871 --> 00:19:01,616 I- I think upstairs. 386 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,401 I hope so. Although, over the years, 387 00:19:03,425 --> 00:19:06,070 at least a dozen people have said to me, 388 00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:08,606 "You're gonna roast in hell, Spooner." 389 00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:10,408 Mm-hmm. 390 00:19:10,432 --> 00:19:11,959 Even so, I think you're, uh- 391 00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:13,561 You're really not the hell type. 392 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:15,297 Down there, they're looking for evil. 393 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,931 You're not evil. You're- 394 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:19,251 You're exhausting. 395 00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:21,936 Thank you, Douglas. Yeah. 396 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,090 I'm sorry I played the fat card before. 397 00:19:25,114 --> 00:19:27,331 It's okay. You didn't play it very well. 398 00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:31,245 Well, that being said, 399 00:19:31,269 --> 00:19:32,814 you might want to speak to the pilot, 400 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,818 because I'm about to become hysterical. 401 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,204 Gentlemen, it looks like we're going to be making 402 00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:41,740 an unscheduled stop in about five minutes. 403 00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:46,684 Don't worry, the screaming man will be getting off the plane. 404 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,715 So Freddy says to me, 405 00:19:50,739 --> 00:19:53,551 "That's not a Lionel engine. That's a knockoff." 406 00:19:53,575 --> 00:19:54,886 But the joke is on him 407 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:57,088 because I know it's authentic from the smokestack. 408 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,207 So he sold it to me for a song. 409 00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:01,009 You're kidding me. Hand to God. 410 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,043 I love it. 411 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:03,077 Oh, oh, oh. 412 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:04,596 Here's the cap per. 413 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,446 Jump ahead three years. 414 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,182 I'm at a train show in Utica 415 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,716 and guess who walks over to me 416 00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,386 with the sorriest-looking freight car you ever saw? 417 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:12,554 I think I know who. 418 00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:13,855 Oh, wait. 419 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,212 Hold that thought. 420 00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,160 Hello? 421 00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:20,862 What? 422 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,029 Oh, God. 423 00:20:22,053 --> 00:20:24,999 All right. I'll- I'll be right there. 424 00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:26,818 Okay, bye-bye. 425 00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:29,654 Crisis at the office. I have to run. 426 00:20:29,678 --> 00:20:30,888 Oh, that stinks. 427 00:20:30,912 --> 00:20:33,624 Yeah, I know, but lock up when you leave, okay? 428 00:20:33,648 --> 00:20:34,882 Thanks. Mwah. 429 00:20:59,208 --> 00:21:01,603 Okay, so, what do you like? 430 00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:03,237 The Dayton snow globe 431 00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:06,296 or the Dayton cheese board? 432 00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:12,569 Okay, the cheese board.