1 00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,353 Hello. 2 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,638 Hey, it's me. I know you wanted me to get paper towels. 3 00:00:12,662 --> 00:00:13,939 Did you want me to get the kinds 4 00:00:13,963 --> 00:00:16,609 with, like, the chickens and ducks on 'em, or...? 5 00:00:16,633 --> 00:00:18,127 I'll let you make that call, babe. 6 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:19,528 Okay, I won't let you down. 7 00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:20,780 Okay, love you. Bye. 8 00:00:20,804 --> 00:00:22,498 Okay, love you too. Carrie, wait. 9 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,157 Yeah? 10 00:00:23,182 --> 00:00:24,615 I've been thinking about this whole 11 00:00:25,095 --> 00:00:26,629 automatically saying "I love you" 12 00:00:26,654 --> 00:00:28,889 at the end of phone calls thing. 13 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,563 I was wondering if we could drop it? 14 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:33,593 What? 15 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:34,727 Yeah. We know how we feel. 16 00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:36,379 We don't have to say it every call. 17 00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,014 So you want to stop saying "I love you"? 18 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,715 Technically, we don't say "I love you" now. 19 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,917 I mean, we've got it down to, like, "Love ya." 20 00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:43,803 You know, it's almost gone already. 21 00:00:43,827 --> 00:00:46,071 Oh, we're talking about just dropping the "I love you" 22 00:00:46,095 --> 00:00:47,773 just at the end of phone calls. 23 00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,692 For now. 24 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,044 You know what? It's- It's not a bad idea, 25 00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:53,545 because when we actually do say it, 26 00:00:53,569 --> 00:00:55,364 it'll mean that much more. 27 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,649 Exactly. I mean, it'll really pop. 28 00:00:56,673 --> 00:00:58,484 It'll almost be shocking. 29 00:00:58,508 --> 00:00:59,485 Okay. All right. 30 00:00:59,509 --> 00:01:01,704 Well, goodbye. 31 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,545 Goodbye. 32 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:10,913 Hello. 33 00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,748 Hey, it's me. Yeah? 34 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,550 Just wanted to say I love you. 35 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,385 And I love you too. 36 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,087 All right. All right, love ya. 37 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,144 Love you too. 38 00:01:57,434 --> 00:02:00,846 Douglas, I'm back from the senior center 39 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,906 and I have an update on the missing pudding. 40 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,728 Douglas? 41 00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:16,746 Hey! Hey, that's my wallet! 42 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,580 I thought you was asleep. 43 00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:20,399 I was fakin' it. 44 00:02:20,423 --> 00:02:22,568 Well, it doesn't get much lower than that. 45 00:02:22,592 --> 00:02:24,203 Apparently, it does. 46 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,688 You expect me to steal money from Carrie 47 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,823 to buy her own birthday present? 48 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,564 I will not do that again. 49 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,646 When are the Micellis gonna be done 50 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:37,450 building that freakin' castle? I mean, knock yourselves out. 51 00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,502 You still share an alley with the Jiffy Lube. 52 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,704 Hey, we're all set for your birthday. 53 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,405 I just talked to Paddy down at Cooper's. 54 00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:45,675 He got us a private room. 55 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,392 I mean, it's not totally private. 56 00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:49,461 It's where they keep the foosball table, 57 00:02:49,485 --> 00:02:52,164 and actually, there's another party there, 58 00:02:52,188 --> 00:02:54,350 but it's a small one. 59 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:55,885 So I'm turning 35 60 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,521 and we're celebrating that at Cooper's? 61 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,856 Last week I said, "What do you want to do for your birthday?" 62 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,192 You said, "Don't do anything special." 63 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,260 Yeah, I meant, don't do anything special 64 00:03:05,284 --> 00:03:07,730 like take me to France, 65 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:12,001 not take me to where you have a wing-eater's gold card. 66 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,453 First of all, it's platinum, and they only gave out four, 67 00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:15,710 okay? 68 00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:19,258 Look, Carrie, Cooper's is just and idea, okay? 69 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,643 We can go wherever you want. 70 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,310 Like where? 71 00:03:22,334 --> 00:03:24,346 How about the hot new club in the city 72 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,015 you were talkin' about? 73 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,406 Silk? Yeah. Let's get silky. 74 00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:36,058 So you want to take me to the hottest club in Manhattan? 75 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,426 Yeah. 76 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,763 Great. Now I have two days to lose 10 pounds and 10 years. 77 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:41,920 Unbelievable! 78 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,041 So, uh, how old were you when you went crazy? 79 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,400 Son, 35 is a difficult birthday for any woman. 80 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:59,582 Maybe I better just give her some time, let her cool off. 81 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,650 No, no, no. 82 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,452 Go to her, Douglas. 83 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:05,477 Go to her. 84 00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,469 I used to have gorgeous hair. 85 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,970 I could have sold it. 86 00:04:21,994 --> 00:04:24,857 Nobody would buy this. Who'd buy this? 87 00:04:24,881 --> 00:04:27,777 I could hang a sign at work. 88 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,678 Look, you're obviously going through 89 00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:31,497 some stuff right now, Car, 90 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,250 and I just want you to know I'm here for you. 91 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,651 You're here for me? You should be 92 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,686 because this is all your fault. 93 00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,087 My fault? 94 00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:41,173 Yeah, you stole my youth. What? 95 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,725 Right. I would still be young and relatively attractive 96 00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:45,727 if I didn't have to pick up after you all the time 97 00:04:45,751 --> 00:04:48,620 and wash your big, huge pants and cook you dinner every night. 98 00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,468 We do order out a lot. 99 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,804 I have to heat it up, don't I?! 100 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,390 Okay, are you okay, or do you need me to go to the drugstore 101 00:04:58,414 --> 00:05:02,150 and buy you something from the awkward aisle? 102 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,567 No. It's just that I'm turning 35 103 00:05:08,591 --> 00:05:10,069 and I feel like crap. 104 00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:12,287 Why are you getting so down on yourself? 105 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,822 I- I gotta tell ya. 106 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,323 I think you look more beautiful now 107 00:05:15,347 --> 00:05:16,959 than the day I even met you- 108 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,311 Oh, shut up. Okay. 109 00:05:19,335 --> 00:05:20,445 You know what it is, Doug? 110 00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:22,764 I'm not getting the feedback that I used to. 111 00:05:22,788 --> 00:05:24,366 I mean, I don't remember the last time 112 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,801 I got groped on the subway. 113 00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:28,536 And those construction guys, 114 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,406 I walk by them every day and I get nothing from them. 115 00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:34,176 Nothing! 116 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,312 I've peaked. It's all downhill from here. 117 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,897 Come on. You're being crazy now. No, 118 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,531 it's different for men. The older you get, 119 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:41,039 the better-looking you get. 120 00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:43,368 You know what? 121 00:05:43,392 --> 00:05:44,970 You're the one who should be mad at me. 122 00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:47,606 I mean, I'm not that hot young thing you married. 123 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:50,058 Oh, Carrie, you're not 19 anymore. 124 00:05:50,082 --> 00:05:51,827 So I love you the way you are right now. 125 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,028 I love everything about you: 126 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,530 The little lines around your eyes. 127 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,387 Oh, my God. I got crow's feet? 128 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,026 Sweet mama. 129 00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,211 Okay, Arthur, I really have to get going. 130 00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:10,512 But I'm not finished. 131 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,681 Arthur, you've been talking for an hour straight. 132 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,182 I think I'm pretty clear on the fact 133 00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:17,636 that lard is the poor man's butter. 134 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:18,620 Oh, there is one more thing. 135 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,389 This is very difficult for me to ask, 136 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:23,692 but I need to borrow some money. 137 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:27,479 Arthur, you haven't paid me back the loan for the ostrich farm. 138 00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:29,949 By the way, uh, what's going on with that? 139 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,650 Nothing good. 140 00:06:31,674 --> 00:06:33,385 Now, I need to buy 141 00:06:33,409 --> 00:06:36,238 a birthday present for Carrie. 142 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,372 Arthur, if you're broke... 143 00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:39,240 You know, why don't you make her something? 144 00:06:39,264 --> 00:06:41,877 You guys do ceramics at the senior center, don't you? 145 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,496 Last week, I made an ashtray of a woman lying on her back, 146 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,498 but the location of the cigarette nook 147 00:06:46,522 --> 00:06:48,056 proved controversial. 148 00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:51,670 Okay, no ashtray. 149 00:06:51,694 --> 00:06:53,705 Oh, I made my mom a collage once 150 00:06:53,729 --> 00:06:55,173 and she just flipped. Really? 151 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:57,559 Yeah, yeah. You must have old pictures of Carrie, 152 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:58,727 like, when she was a little kid? 153 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,329 You just arrange them and frame it 154 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,765 and it'll be better than any expensive gift you can get her 155 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,433 because it comes from your heart. 156 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,901 I love it. Great. 157 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,152 Now if you'll spot me a 20, 158 00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,676 I'd love to treat you to lunch. 159 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,261 Hey, you know, now that those people are remodeling, 160 00:07:16,285 --> 00:07:18,954 you officially have the crappiest house on the block. 161 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,067 N- Hey, no, no, no. Come on. We gotta go. 162 00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:23,391 It's not safe here. 163 00:07:25,228 --> 00:07:28,129 Oh, God, I forgot my jacket. 164 00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:30,959 What's going on? 165 00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:33,912 It's just that Carrie's turning 35 on Saturday, 166 00:07:33,936 --> 00:07:35,347 and she's freakin' out. 167 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,115 Oh, yeah, 35's a bad one. 168 00:07:37,139 --> 00:07:39,006 Hey, but it'll toughen you up for 40. 169 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,653 Who's talking? 170 00:07:41,677 --> 00:07:44,389 Uh, it's just Deac came by to pick me up. 171 00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:46,308 You want to come down and say hello? 172 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,843 Yeah, that's gonna happen. 173 00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:50,701 Okay, then, you-You have a good one! 174 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,649 I- I tried telling her she looks beautiful and everything. 175 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:56,251 She just bites my head off, you know? 176 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,904 It's like she needs to hear it from someone else. 177 00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:00,622 You want me to tell her? 178 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:03,365 Yeah, I'm not crazy where that might lead. 179 00:08:10,522 --> 00:08:12,767 Deac, you know what? I'll, uh-I'll meet you at work. 180 00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:14,893 I just gotta make a stop first. 181 00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:25,403 Hey, who wants a cold one? 182 00:08:26,705 --> 00:08:28,817 Yeah, thanks, buddy, but, uh, 183 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,686 we're not really supposed to drink on the job. 184 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,489 Hey, I'm not supposed to put cheese in my cereal. 185 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,641 Doug Heffernan. Live a couple of doors down. 186 00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:38,377 I got kind of a weird request for you. 187 00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:39,578 Yeah? 188 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,030 Yeah. Uh, this is my wife, Carrie. 189 00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,298 You guys recognize her? 190 00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,467 She walks by here every day on her way to work. 191 00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,119 Yeah, I know her. Remember? 192 00:08:47,143 --> 00:08:48,704 She flipped us off yesterday. 193 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,122 That's her. 194 00:08:50,146 --> 00:08:51,990 Anyway, I was wondering if you guys, 195 00:08:52,014 --> 00:08:53,458 you know, when she walks by later, 196 00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:56,295 wouldn't mind yelling some dirty stuff at her. 197 00:08:56,319 --> 00:08:58,047 What? The thing is, 198 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,232 she's turning 35 and she's a little down on herself, 199 00:09:00,256 --> 00:09:02,067 so if you guys could tell her that she's hot 200 00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:03,936 and yell out all the nasty things 201 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,222 you want to do to her and where, she'd be floating on air. 202 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,948 So you want us to sexually harass your wife? 203 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,895 Bingo. You know, 204 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,897 we're not supposed to do that kind of stuff. 205 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,564 You can't drink on the job. 206 00:09:16,588 --> 00:09:17,900 You can't harass women? 207 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,285 How does anything get built in this country? 208 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,969 You know, he does have a point there. 209 00:09:21,993 --> 00:09:24,439 Come on, it would really, really help me out. 210 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,974 So, what do you want us to say? 211 00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,710 That's all you. You know, just don't force it. 212 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,245 Just throw it away. 213 00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,414 And by the way, you're gonna have a lot to work with, 214 00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,683 'cause whether you like the balcony or the basement, 215 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,851 she is built to please. 216 00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:39,504 I guess I can say, uh, "Is that a mirror in your pocket? 217 00:09:39,528 --> 00:09:41,757 'Cause I can see myself in your pants." 218 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:42,990 Yes. I like that. 219 00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:45,126 Don't-Don't be afraid to speak up. 220 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:46,995 Yeah, so something like, uh, 221 00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,898 "Wait, mamamita, shake those maracas!" 222 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,850 Now we're cookin' with gas. 223 00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:53,485 What else you got? I-I could say, 224 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,388 "I-I love your hair, and I want to cut it off, 225 00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,145 and I want to put it in a box." 226 00:10:02,385 --> 00:10:04,396 Hey, look what's comin' by! 227 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,897 Oh, damn, she's hot. 228 00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,422 Hey, do fries come with that shake? 229 00:10:08,424 --> 00:10:11,526 Shake those maracas, mama! 230 00:10:13,896 --> 00:10:16,090 And then I want you to. 231 00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:17,715 Oh, yeah! 232 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,850 Hey, how was your day? 233 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,486 Great. Hey, how about steak for dinner, huh? 234 00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:28,787 Mmm. And you know what? 235 00:10:28,811 --> 00:10:32,046 It has been a while since I made my man some cupcakes. 236 00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,198 Look at all the places you've been. 237 00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,151 You've had some life. 238 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,569 It has been quite a ride. 239 00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:45,821 Oh, my God. You were at Woodstock? 240 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:49,557 Yes, I worked security. 241 00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:52,550 It was a magical three days of kicking hippie ass. 242 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,096 Wow. 243 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,715 Turns out acid really hampers a person's ability 244 00:10:57,739 --> 00:11:00,302 to defend themselves. 245 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,354 Yeah. Tell me about it. 246 00:11:02,378 --> 00:11:05,557 Oh, look. Here's a really cute picture of Carrie 247 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,176 at one of her birthday parties. 248 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,084 Oh, yes. That's when she turned 6. 249 00:11:10,519 --> 00:11:13,182 I don't see you in any of these pictures, though. 250 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,316 I wasn't there. 251 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,751 I, uh, boycotted that party 252 00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:18,686 for reasons well known to her. 253 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,756 Okay, well, I'm sure we can find a cute one in here. 254 00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:25,399 Oh, look. This is Carrie at high school graduation. 255 00:11:26,869 --> 00:11:28,914 Mm. Were you at that? 256 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,165 No. 257 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,834 I was at a high school graduation that day, 258 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,671 just not hers. 259 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,422 Well, gosh, Arthur, 260 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,459 I don't see you with Carrie in any of these pictures. 261 00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:42,026 Well, I was a very busy man. 262 00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:45,264 I was on the road a lot. I had obligations. 263 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,337 I... 264 00:11:48,223 --> 00:11:50,602 I was a terrible father. 265 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,937 Oh, no, Arthur. Yes. 266 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,727 Yes, those pictures don't lie. 267 00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:58,310 I was too busy chasing the almighty dollar. 268 00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,028 Well, it's better than my dad 269 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,463 who was too busy chasing 270 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,655 the almighty tube of glue. 271 00:12:09,178 --> 00:12:11,640 Why couldn't I have been at her party? 272 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,230 Why? 273 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:15,383 Excuse me, Holly. 274 00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:18,920 I need to lie down. 275 00:12:25,094 --> 00:12:27,228 I'm gonna call my dad. 276 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,929 So you bring these guys doughnuts every morning, 277 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,264 they yell nasty stuff at your wife, 278 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:38,522 then she comes home happy and makes you a pot roast? 279 00:12:39,574 --> 00:12:41,186 Yep. And the dirtier the talk, 280 00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:43,272 the bigger the portions. 281 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,575 I'm tellin' you, man, you are playing with fire. 282 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,327 Hey, boys! 283 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,728 Hey. What's up, Car? 284 00:12:49,752 --> 00:12:52,420 Who wants a Manwich? 285 00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:57,836 Um, sure. 286 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,622 Okay. Honey, I know what I want to do for my birthday. 287 00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:02,758 Bring it. So I want to go to Silk. 288 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,782 We are so there. 289 00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:08,496 All right, but I wanna do something before that. 290 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,653 Oh, that is happening too. 291 00:13:11,907 --> 00:13:13,251 Stop it, sweetie, stop it. Okay. 292 00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:15,320 You know the mountain bikes we have in the garage 293 00:13:15,344 --> 00:13:16,805 that we bought and never used? 294 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,123 I don't know about never used. 295 00:13:18,147 --> 00:13:20,815 I mean, technically, they are keeping the fuse box shut. 296 00:13:22,651 --> 00:13:24,646 So you-You want to go biking now? 297 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:26,431 Yes. Remember that day I was feeling so old? 298 00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:28,733 Well, I realized that's all in your head. 299 00:13:28,757 --> 00:13:32,193 You gotta think young, you gotta do young things, so... 300 00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:35,329 Red or blue? 301 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,750 The, uh, red one'll help the cars see you. 302 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,840 Come on, Doug! You can do it! 303 00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:54,593 It's too steep! 304 00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:56,762 You gotta pedal! 305 00:13:56,786 --> 00:13:58,920 I know how a bike works! 306 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,460 You're in the wrong gear! 307 00:14:07,696 --> 00:14:09,097 Oh, God! 308 00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:16,303 Not good. 309 00:14:31,052 --> 00:14:33,465 Hey, Arthur, how's it going? 310 00:14:33,489 --> 00:14:34,866 Today's my daughter's birthday 311 00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:37,886 and my only gift is a table full of neglect. 312 00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,070 Well, maybe not. 313 00:14:39,094 --> 00:14:40,938 Remember how I told you I was dating that guy 314 00:14:40,962 --> 00:14:43,191 who works in the photo department at Walgreen's? 315 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,610 Nobody likes a braggart, Holly. What's your point? 316 00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,579 Well, here's that picture of Carrie 317 00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:49,080 blowing out her birthday candles, 318 00:14:49,104 --> 00:14:52,534 except look who's got his arm around her now. 319 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,086 Oh, my God, that's me. 320 00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:57,456 But how could that be? I wasn't there. 321 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,207 Well, no. Josh took another picture of you 322 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,976 and digitally superimposed it onto Carrie's birthday picture. 323 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,295 Anybody can do it. 324 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,664 Any witch could do it. 325 00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:08,233 Okay, let's not get bogged down with the details here. 326 00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:11,369 All I'm saying is that any picture 327 00:15:11,393 --> 00:15:12,837 you want to put yourself into, 328 00:15:12,861 --> 00:15:14,089 Josh can do it for you. 329 00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,824 Normally, I don't dabble in the black arts, 330 00:15:16,848 --> 00:15:20,384 but it sure would get me out of a pickle. 331 00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,019 Red dress, the boy. 332 00:15:44,894 --> 00:15:47,072 I'm gonna throw this out one more time. 333 00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:49,241 There's a Wendy's two blocks away 334 00:15:49,265 --> 00:15:51,126 and it's got a playground. 335 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,477 Doug, come on. We're gonna get in. 336 00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:53,478 I can feel it. 337 00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:55,046 Come on, you used to work at a club. 338 00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:57,799 Why don't you go talk to the guy, bouncer to bouncer? 339 00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,417 I guess I could do that. All right, go, go. 340 00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:00,818 Yeah. Go, baby, go, go, go. 341 00:16:00,842 --> 00:16:02,420 Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm on the, uh- 342 00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:05,389 I'm on the list. Excuse me. I'm on the list up here. 343 00:16:05,413 --> 00:16:08,215 I'm on the list. Sorry. He's got a special list we gotta do. 344 00:16:09,585 --> 00:16:11,452 What's up? 345 00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:15,900 I used to bounce too. Neon, '91 to '93. 346 00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:17,969 It's Starbucks now. Like-Like- 347 00:16:17,993 --> 00:16:20,404 Like we need more of those. You know what I'm saying? 348 00:16:20,428 --> 00:16:21,963 Every corner. That's a nice set- 349 00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:24,910 Don't touch. 350 00:16:24,934 --> 00:16:26,578 Oh, mama. 351 00:16:26,602 --> 00:16:28,246 Sorry. Sorry. 352 00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:29,563 Guy lost the list. 353 00:16:29,587 --> 00:16:30,932 Ass. 354 00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,918 What an ass. 355 00:16:32,942 --> 00:16:33,968 Excuse me. They lost the li- 356 00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:35,836 I laid some groundwork is what I did. Good. 357 00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:38,006 He's coming back. He's coming back. Yeah. 358 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,674 Uh, you two. 359 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,459 You and you. 360 00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:42,861 Oh, thank you. All right. 361 00:16:42,885 --> 00:16:44,479 Oh, the thing is it's my birthday 362 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,232 and I don't really want to go in without my husband, so... 363 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,517 You want to go in or out? 364 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,352 All right, I'm gonna go get us a table. 365 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,826 I'll meet you in there, honey. 366 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,197 Hi, is there any possible way that I could- 367 00:16:57,532 --> 00:16:59,033 Don't touch. 368 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,465 We're both Green Berets. 369 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,357 We're just constantly testing each other. 370 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:16,567 Come on, baby. Time to get up. 371 00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:20,265 We only went to bed three hours ago. What are you- 372 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,807 Plenty of time to sleep when we get old. Come on. 373 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,028 Oh, God, they got that jackhammer working again, huh? 374 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,475 Shut it off! 375 00:17:30,499 --> 00:17:32,333 Stop it. 376 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,236 Morning, boys. 377 00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,751 Hey, watch out what you're doin' with that hose. 378 00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:41,375 This is a family neighborhood. 379 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,845 Okay, baby. 380 00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:47,876 And as for you, let's get goin'. 381 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,711 We have places to be. 382 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:50,962 What? Where? 383 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:54,249 I made a reservation for brunch at this new place in SoHo. 384 00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,967 Oh. All right. 385 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,586 And we're gonna ride our bikes there. 386 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,419 What? 387 00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:00,305 No, no. No more biking. 388 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,257 Why? We had fun yesterday. 389 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,331 Carrie, my seat was in me! 390 00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:10,081 Doug, 391 00:18:10,105 --> 00:18:12,383 I am serious about this. 392 00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:15,186 I don't want to spend Saturday nights on the couch anymore. 393 00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:16,754 I want to live life, 394 00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:19,297 but you gotta keep up with me, all right? 395 00:18:21,449 --> 00:18:22,560 So, what- 396 00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:24,195 What do you want me to do? 397 00:18:24,219 --> 00:18:27,065 Okay, well, I want you to be more open to things 398 00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:29,734 like taking our bikes to brunch 399 00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:32,103 and maybe going to an art gallery. 400 00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:34,205 And I think we should revisit 401 00:18:34,229 --> 00:18:36,997 the whole Weight Watchers thing. 402 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,679 Okay. 403 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,787 Change of plans. 404 00:18:44,973 --> 00:18:47,502 Whoo-hoo! Look what's comin'! 405 00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:48,870 Yo, baby, you look hot. 406 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,404 Uh, but not that hot. 407 00:18:50,428 --> 00:18:52,740 Very attractive for a woman your age. 408 00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:55,199 Oh, yeah, I'd like to see you stay home and not go out. 409 00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:01,616 Hey, check it out. 410 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,151 Step lightly, chunky. We fixed that sidewalk. 411 00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:06,120 Yeah, the buffet called. You win. 412 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,622 You have a mirror in your pocket? 413 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,958 'Cause you are really fat. 414 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,698 What the hell? 415 00:19:13,802 --> 00:19:15,937 Get in. 416 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,490 She brought us cupcakes. 417 00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,359 Sorry my gift was a little late, darling, 418 00:19:28,383 --> 00:19:29,693 but picking and choosing 419 00:19:29,717 --> 00:19:32,297 from 35 years of wonderful memories 420 00:19:32,321 --> 00:19:33,998 is no easy chore. 421 00:19:34,022 --> 00:19:36,735 Oh, Dad, this is so sweet. 422 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:40,321 See? There we are together at your sixth birthday party. 423 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,023 Oh, yeah. 424 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:42,973 Yes. 425 00:19:42,997 --> 00:19:45,777 We had some marvelous moments. 426 00:19:45,801 --> 00:19:48,936 Yeah, it's just I don't remember you and me riding an elephant. 427 00:19:49,871 --> 00:19:53,118 Or going to the Oscars. 428 00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:56,410 That's why we take pictures. 429 00:19:57,579 --> 00:19:59,230 Thank you, Daddy. 430 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,519 What? Hey. Uh, 431 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,522 I got a delivery for a Leonard Montclair. 432 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,975 That's my roommate. I'll take it. 433 00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:19,710 Hey, you're that bouncer from the club. 434 00:20:19,734 --> 00:20:22,303 Eh. The one who wouldn't let me in. 435 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,018 Yeah. 436 00:20:27,042 --> 00:20:28,236 Just give me the package. 437 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,587 No, that's all right. Uh, 438 00:20:29,611 --> 00:20:30,988 you know, I'm sorry. 439 00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,223 See, the problem is 440 00:20:32,247 --> 00:20:34,459 I need the addressee to sign for it, okay? 441 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,227 So I'm gonna have to throw you a: 442 00:20:36,251 --> 00:20:38,163 "Don't touch." 443 00:20:38,187 --> 00:20:39,697 Yeah. 444 00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:40,965 Oh, yeah. No, no. 445 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,858 Don't touch.