1 00:00:06,623 --> 00:00:08,968 All of U.S. intelligence 2 00:00:08,992 --> 00:00:09,903 in more than 50 years... 3 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:12,272 Do you mind? I'm trying to read. 4 00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:13,323 That's yesterday's news. 5 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,291 I need up-to-the-minute coverage. 6 00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:18,361 President's says he's happy to have it, but has not yet... 7 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:20,663 There you go, all right? There. 8 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,365 I can't hear. Okay, well, I can't read. 9 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:23,766 Yea-Here, fine. You know what? 10 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,634 There. Closed captioning. 11 00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:27,070 You happy now? 12 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:30,339 Huh, those clever Japanese have done it again. 13 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,675 "Investigators believe a faulty hair dryer 14 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,177 "was the cause of the blaze. 15 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,611 "Speaking of bad-hair days, 16 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:38,465 here's Curtis with the weather. Chuckles." 17 00:00:38,489 --> 00:00:40,033 You-? You're kidding, right? 18 00:00:40,057 --> 00:00:43,319 Sorry, I'm having trouble following this. 19 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,687 You can help me if you could read 20 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,639 the part of Sue Simmons. 21 00:00:46,663 --> 00:00:48,898 Yeah, it's not gonna happen. 22 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,612 "There is a cold front rolling in from the north, 23 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:55,014 colliding with a high-pressure symptom." 24 00:00:55,038 --> 00:00:56,816 It's "system." 25 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:57,666 It says "symptom." 26 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,535 Okay, well, they obviously made a mistake! 27 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,304 Well, how can I trust anything they say?! 28 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,905 Okay, fine, here you go! Okay? There! 29 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,307 That loud enough? 30 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,576 "On the lighter side of the news, 31 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,511 "a cat was rescued from a well today. 32 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:09,878 "When asked to comment, 33 00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:14,974 the fire chief said the mission was purr-fect." 34 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,432 Let's go. 35 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,484 Okay. 36 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,981 Come on. 37 00:02:39,810 --> 00:02:42,011 Nothing fit her, huh? 38 00:02:42,979 --> 00:02:45,074 That is not good. 39 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,275 It gets worse. 40 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,177 Guess what she came down the stairs wearing. 41 00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,730 Sweatpants. 42 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,216 So what? Lot of girls wear sweatpants. 43 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,074 My sweatpants. 44 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,688 Why don't you tell her she needs to lose weight? 45 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,191 Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Why don't I just write up a list 46 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,758 of other women I wanna have sex with? 47 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,361 "Here. Hey, huh? Hey, honey, you knew some of these. 48 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,364 The-Some are you are friends. You know 'em all." 49 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,932 Idiot. 50 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:11,300 Uh, this is a tough one. 51 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:13,286 I had the same situation with Kelly. 52 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,487 But she just lost weight. 53 00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:16,345 Yeah, only 'cause she got food poisoning. 54 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,326 So in order for your plan to work, 55 00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:22,295 I gotta give Carrie some under cooked chicken 56 00:03:22,319 --> 00:03:23,996 or something. Whoa, 57 00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:25,865 It wasn't a plan to give her food poisoning. 58 00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,056 I just got lucky. 59 00:03:28,859 --> 00:03:30,086 Yeah, and not for nothing, guy, 60 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,870 but, uh, aren't you a little out of line, 61 00:03:31,894 --> 00:03:33,906 you know, getting on Carrie about her weight? 62 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:37,310 You're not exactly Mackenzie Phillips. 63 00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:38,678 Really? I'm not exactly Mac-? 64 00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:40,469 I'm not Mackenzie Phillips? 65 00:03:41,954 --> 00:03:43,783 Look, she knows this is what I looked like 66 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:44,917 when I met her, okay? 67 00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:49,789 This was all in the Doug brochure, as advertised. 68 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,657 I'm just worried about where she's headed. 69 00:03:51,681 --> 00:03:53,776 I mean, I don't want her catching me. 70 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,761 Well, why don't you just start eating a lot more? 71 00:03:55,785 --> 00:03:57,614 You know, stay one step ahead. 72 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:58,898 I'm gonna do that anyway, 73 00:03:58,922 --> 00:04:01,451 but, I just-I don't know. I think maybe if I can- 74 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,135 You know, I'm gonna stop you right there. 75 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,171 I'm your boy, and I'm looking out for you. 76 00:04:05,195 --> 00:04:08,207 You're playing with fire. Just let it go. 77 00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:09,509 I know it's tricky, but if I could- 78 00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:11,033 Bup-bup-bup-ba! 79 00:04:12,201 --> 00:04:13,212 Let it go. 80 00:04:13,236 --> 00:04:14,436 If there's a way that I can- 81 00:04:18,308 --> 00:04:21,509 Let it go. 82 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,245 What are we doing here? 83 00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:31,781 Doug, they're our neighbors. 84 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,148 We should be supportive 85 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,608 and buy one of their pieces of crap. 86 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,777 We can throw it out when we get home. 87 00:04:40,163 --> 00:04:42,291 Why would Lou Ferrigno need a jar opener? 88 00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:44,816 He's the strongest man in the world. 89 00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:48,548 That's probably why he's selling it. 90 00:04:48,572 --> 00:04:49,515 Oh, look, 91 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,817 here's something we can use. 92 00:04:51,841 --> 00:04:52,885 A deep-fryer? 93 00:04:52,909 --> 00:04:54,920 Yeah, can make our own french fries, 94 00:04:54,944 --> 00:04:56,645 some fried chicken. 95 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:03,012 I don't wanna waste our money on that. I don't know. 96 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,254 It's a dollar. 97 00:05:05,855 --> 00:05:07,483 Still, it's just, uh- 98 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,918 Hey, what about this? Look at this. 99 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:12,788 Yeah, we already have a stationary bike. 100 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,780 Your regular bike. 101 00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:16,775 Hey, guys. 102 00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:17,960 Hey! Hi. 103 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:18,844 Hey, Lou. 104 00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,780 How are you? How's the sale going? 105 00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,398 Okay, I guess. Oh, Lou's just cranky 106 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,733 because I'm making him sell all of his video games. 107 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,503 I'm telling you, the man was addicted. 108 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,912 Hey, better video games than steroids, huh? 109 00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:34,260 We don't joke about that, Doug. 110 00:05:34,284 --> 00:05:36,445 Hey, so what's the story with this bad boy? 111 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,380 Oh, well, if you're interested in this, 112 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,115 we're selling our home gym. 113 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:41,851 I'll even sweeten the pot. 114 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,235 If you buy it, 115 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,388 I'll train you both for free. 116 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:50,109 You hear that? He'll- He'll train us... both. 117 00:05:50,133 --> 00:05:51,460 We'll let you two think about it. 118 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,085 Okay. Okay? 119 00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:56,432 Both. 120 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,034 That's a pretty sweet deal, huh? 121 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,152 Well, yes, Doug, but you still belong to three gyms 122 00:06:00,176 --> 00:06:01,387 that you never go to. 123 00:06:01,411 --> 00:06:02,905 Would it really be fair to them? 124 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,223 See, that's the thing. 125 00:06:04,247 --> 00:06:06,258 If you're training with me, I'd be inspired. 126 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,326 I'd stick with it. 127 00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:09,228 Okay, you know what? Let's do it. 128 00:06:09,252 --> 00:06:11,714 I can stand to lose a couple pounds. 129 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,882 This is not about you. It's about me, but whatever. 130 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,851 I mean, if that happens, it's great. 131 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,387 This is awesome, huh? 132 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:18,721 God, I can't picture Lou Ferrigno 133 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,112 playing tennis, huh? 134 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,933 Douglas, look what I came across on the Game Show Channel. 135 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,468 Glen and I would like 136 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,320 to for Of Mice and Men. Is that you? 137 00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:36,189 You never told me you were on a game show. 138 00:06:36,213 --> 00:06:38,040 I've actually told you several dozen times. 139 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,965 Thanks for listening. 140 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,362 Look at you. 141 00:06:43,386 --> 00:06:45,954 You look so young and sane. 142 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,286 Lee Meriwether couldn't keep her paws off me. 143 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:52,455 Get it? 144 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:53,689 Paws. 145 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,148 She was one of three Cat women. 146 00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:59,462 So did you win the 10,000? 147 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,487 Would I be living in this dump if I did? 148 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,734 Probably, yeah. 149 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,303 Contestants appearing on The $10,000 Pyramid 150 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,639 will receive a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, 151 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,264 the San Francisco treat. 152 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,777 Wait a minute! 153 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,202 I never got any Rice-A-Roni! 154 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,249 Come on, two more. 155 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,518 You said "two more" five ago. 156 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,620 Do it! God. 157 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:26,322 All right, I'm just saying, 158 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,223 you suck at math, that's all. 159 00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:30,660 There. Okay? You happy? 160 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,444 Oh, my God, Doug, that was torture. 161 00:07:32,468 --> 00:07:36,298 First the bike and then three sets on every station. 162 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,167 Hey, you know, the first time is never easy. 163 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,569 Like the first time we had to trim 164 00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,059 your father's nails, huh? 165 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,724 Now we wait for him to fall asleep. 166 00:07:44,748 --> 00:07:47,515 It's a lot less kicking. That's all I'm saying. 167 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,395 Let's get ready on the bike 168 00:07:50,419 --> 00:07:52,064 and get the blood flowing. All right. 169 00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:54,322 Just don't make me too skinny there, buddy. 170 00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,038 Okay, this is very easy. 171 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,739 I'm just telling you that right now. 172 00:08:00,763 --> 00:08:02,330 Could do this all day. 173 00:08:07,837 --> 00:08:08,914 You can stop now. 174 00:08:08,938 --> 00:08:10,205 Thank you. 175 00:08:11,541 --> 00:08:12,752 Carrie really did this? 176 00:08:12,776 --> 00:08:17,055 Yeah, but she did the whole 10 minutes. 177 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,758 I'm gonna write some notes on the chart, 178 00:08:18,782 --> 00:08:20,125 and you give me 20 curls. 179 00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:21,309 Hey, how about I do the notes, 180 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,429 you do the curls, huh? Ha-ha-ha. 181 00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:26,505 Now 30, funny man. 182 00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:29,501 Come on, all the way up. 183 00:08:29,525 --> 00:08:30,502 All right. 184 00:08:30,526 --> 00:08:33,105 Count them off. All right. 185 00:08:33,129 --> 00:08:35,674 One. Oh, wow, a Game Boy? 186 00:08:35,698 --> 00:08:37,142 Yeah. Carla made me sell mine. 187 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,710 Two. You mind if I, uh...? 188 00:08:38,734 --> 00:08:41,780 Three. No, go ahead. 189 00:08:41,804 --> 00:08:44,616 Four. 190 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,375 Five. 191 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,747 Seventeen. 192 00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,903 ...four, 25! 193 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,143 Ah, 30! 194 00:09:18,841 --> 00:09:21,019 Okay, that was great, Lou. 195 00:09:21,043 --> 00:09:22,110 I'll see you Wednesday. 196 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:25,947 I hope he burns in hell. 197 00:09:27,883 --> 00:09:28,994 You ready to hit it, Doug? 198 00:09:29,018 --> 00:09:30,262 Absolutely. 199 00:09:30,286 --> 00:09:32,198 Uh, first, I just wanna save a game 200 00:09:32,222 --> 00:09:33,622 I was playing before. 201 00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,669 You have PlayStation? 202 00:09:36,693 --> 00:09:39,094 No, I have PlayStation 2. 203 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,941 There. Okay, I'm a lump of clay, Lou. 204 00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,010 Sculpt me. 205 00:09:45,034 --> 00:09:46,629 Is that "The Getaway"? 206 00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:47,879 Yes, it is. 207 00:09:47,903 --> 00:09:50,433 Anyway, what do you say we hit it? Come on. 208 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:53,759 "The Getaway" was my favorite game. 209 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,105 Hey, you know, here's a crazy idea. 210 00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:59,341 Uh, why don't you, uh, you know, play a game 211 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,143 while I do my warm-ups? 212 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,285 Oh, I don't know. Carla would kill me. 213 00:10:03,786 --> 00:10:06,615 I don't see Carla here. 214 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,884 What I do see is a state-of-the-art video game 215 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:11,586 hooked up to a big-screen TV. 216 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:13,588 Mm, no, I can't. 217 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:14,990 I'm a trainer. I have to do my job. 218 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:16,848 Okay, here's the thing, Lou. 219 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,763 You really wanna play that video game, 220 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,633 and I really don't wanna get into shape. 221 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,002 I'm with you so far. All right. 222 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,920 So I was thinking, instead of letting our wives 223 00:10:27,944 --> 00:10:29,087 decide what we should do, 224 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,923 maybe we should use my workout time 225 00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:34,059 to do what we wanna do, hm? 226 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:36,318 It'll be our little secret. 227 00:11:43,118 --> 00:11:44,179 Hey, Dad. 228 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,331 Ah, darling, 229 00:11:45,355 --> 00:11:47,717 could you, uh, do me a small favor? 230 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:48,650 What? 231 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,252 I need you to help me get a lawyer, 232 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:54,128 so I can sue the boyish grin off Dick Clark's face. 233 00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:59,461 Okay, once again, he did not steal the idea 234 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,148 for New Year's Rockin' Eve from you. 235 00:12:02,172 --> 00:12:04,082 I never claimed he stole the "Rockin'" part. 236 00:12:04,106 --> 00:12:06,384 All right, what's the problem? 237 00:12:06,408 --> 00:12:07,686 When I was on Pyramid, 238 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:09,688 I was promised a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, 239 00:12:09,712 --> 00:12:11,107 and I never got it. 240 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,858 Did you get that in writing? 241 00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:14,359 They announced it on the show. 242 00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:15,627 It's an oral agreement. 243 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,895 Oral. 244 00:12:16,919 --> 00:12:20,166 Okay, stop using that word. 245 00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,767 So can you help me? No, I'm sorry. 246 00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:26,094 Why do you always take Dick Clark's side? 247 00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:31,544 Hey. 248 00:12:31,568 --> 00:12:32,645 How was your workout? 249 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,413 Oh, just brutal, as usual. 250 00:12:34,437 --> 00:12:36,048 I'll tell you, that Lou comes off 251 00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:37,182 like a gentle giant in public, 252 00:12:37,206 --> 00:12:38,183 but come workout time, 253 00:12:38,207 --> 00:12:41,220 he's one scary bastard. 254 00:12:41,244 --> 00:12:42,388 I know. I know. He's a tough one. 255 00:12:42,412 --> 00:12:44,189 But you know what? You gotta stick with it. 256 00:12:44,213 --> 00:12:45,590 I mean, look at me. 257 00:12:45,614 --> 00:12:47,893 I haven't fit in this suit in months. I lot 6 pounds. 258 00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:49,211 I don't care about numbers. 259 00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,063 I'm just happy that you're healthier. 260 00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:53,164 You getting results too? Are you kidding me? 261 00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:55,224 Look at that. Feel this. Feel it. 262 00:12:58,377 --> 00:13:00,072 Yes. Yes, honey. 263 00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:02,174 You're really-You're- You're getting there. 264 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,042 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 265 00:13:04,066 --> 00:13:05,661 Thank you for noticing. 266 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,652 All right. 267 00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:16,321 Hey, why don't you get Lou the "Spider-Man 2" game? 268 00:13:16,345 --> 00:13:18,023 Yeah, I'm gonna get the Incredible Hulk 269 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,291 a Spider-Man game. 270 00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,083 Who raised you? 271 00:13:22,085 --> 00:13:23,062 Hey, Deac, 272 00:13:23,086 --> 00:13:24,063 you have "ATV 3," right? 273 00:13:24,087 --> 00:13:25,314 How is it? 274 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,849 Instead of going through this trouble, 275 00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:29,068 why don't you actually let Lou train you? 276 00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:31,209 Maybe that way, you won't get winded throwing darts. 277 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,239 What is your problem? 278 00:13:33,263 --> 00:13:34,907 I just think this is wrong. 279 00:13:34,931 --> 00:13:36,475 I'm only cheating myself. 280 00:13:36,499 --> 00:13:37,443 And Carrie. 281 00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:39,043 And Carrie, right. And Lou. 282 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:41,045 Got him hooked on video games again. 283 00:13:41,069 --> 00:13:42,247 Right, me, Carrie, and Lou. 284 00:13:42,271 --> 00:13:43,699 Just cheating the three of us. 285 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:44,749 So you came up with a way 286 00:13:44,773 --> 00:13:46,651 to get her to lose weight without knowing it. 287 00:13:46,675 --> 00:13:48,420 I just can't believe you. 288 00:13:48,444 --> 00:13:50,455 Oh, my God, you're jealous. 289 00:13:50,479 --> 00:13:51,556 That's what it is. 290 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,908 You're damn right I'm jealous. 291 00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,010 I- I mean, you found a way to beat the system, man. 292 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,311 Oh, I not only beat the system, 293 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,535 it was first-round KO. 294 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,683 And I'm just getting started. 295 00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:02,784 What do you mean? 296 00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:04,869 Well, you know that now I can control Carrie 297 00:14:04,893 --> 00:14:06,772 through Lou, right? Right. 298 00:14:06,796 --> 00:14:08,474 If she can lose 6 pounds at the current pace, 299 00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:10,526 imagine I have Lou kick it up a notch. 300 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,777 You're making a mistake. 301 00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:12,745 I'm not making a mistake, 302 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,480 and I'm gonna change other things. 303 00:14:14,504 --> 00:14:15,464 Look, do you know 304 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,132 how to cut things off when-? 305 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,257 Let it go. 306 00:14:26,015 --> 00:14:28,360 Hey. Hey. 307 00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:30,462 What's that? It's my dinner. 308 00:14:30,486 --> 00:14:33,098 All of a sudden, Lou's got me on a liquid diet. 309 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,666 Really? 310 00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:37,169 Yes, and he doubled my time on the bike, 311 00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:38,504 he increased my weights, 312 00:14:38,528 --> 00:14:41,613 and then he said get some blond highlights. 313 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,971 That's weird, but I would just do it. 314 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,137 Oh, dear God. I can't do this. 315 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,906 What? I can't do this. Doug, I am- 316 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,707 I am achy, I'm tired all the time, 317 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,075 and now I'm drinking this crap? 318 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,327 I think I'm gonna quit. 319 00:15:01,351 --> 00:15:02,844 Y- y-you can't quit. You can't quit. 320 00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,513 I- I mean, I-It's not fair to me. 321 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:05,698 You-You can't. 322 00:15:05,722 --> 00:15:07,583 Doug, you can still keep working out. 323 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,667 Not-Not without you. 324 00:15:08,691 --> 00:15:10,769 I mean, the-The whole drive behind this thing 325 00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:12,437 is that we're doing it together for me. 326 00:15:12,461 --> 00:15:15,007 That's-It really is. You're the wind beneath my wings. 327 00:15:15,031 --> 00:15:17,459 Without wind, wings are useless. 328 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,777 I'm pretty sure wings still work 329 00:15:18,801 --> 00:15:20,379 even though there's no wind. 330 00:15:20,403 --> 00:15:23,315 Okay, an Oscar-winning song is wrong. All right. 331 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,601 Come on, Carrie. Okay, honey, fine, 332 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,385 I will keep going for you. 333 00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:28,653 Thank you. For me. 334 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,655 There you go. Gosh. 335 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,524 You wanna talk about brutal, 336 00:15:32,548 --> 00:15:33,932 Lou's got me on light beer. 337 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,590 It's hard going down, I tell you. 338 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:47,822 What do you want? 339 00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,492 Uh, sorry to interrupt your exercise session, 340 00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:53,128 but Lou has some important documents for me 341 00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:55,420 vis-à-vis Rice-A-Roni-gate. 342 00:15:58,441 --> 00:15:59,685 Lou you have anything for Arthur? 343 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,975 In my bag. 344 00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,223 Say, uh, what's going on in here? 345 00:16:04,247 --> 00:16:05,257 What do you mean? 346 00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:06,225 He's training me. 347 00:16:06,249 --> 00:16:07,375 You're playing solitaire, 348 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,160 and he's playing some television game. 349 00:16:09,184 --> 00:16:10,312 What gives, eh? 350 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,231 You ask too many questions, old man. 351 00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:14,516 Too many or not enough? 352 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,606 Too many. 353 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:27,112 Now, uh, Mr. Spooner, my assistant tells me 354 00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:29,915 this is an urgent matter for Mr. Clark. 355 00:16:29,939 --> 00:16:32,534 Yes, if you recall, I was a contestant 356 00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:36,121 on The $10,000 Pyramid in 1976. 357 00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,790 Actually, I don't. Why not? 358 00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:39,958 I was in the 3rd grade. 359 00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:41,677 Anyway, I never got my Rice-A-Roni. 360 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,362 Again, the show's been off the air for years. 361 00:16:44,386 --> 00:16:46,849 Uh, I'm not sure they even still make Rice-A-Roni. 362 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:47,833 Oh, they make it, all right, 363 00:16:47,857 --> 00:16:51,103 in a variety of mouth-watering flavors. 364 00:16:51,127 --> 00:16:55,507 Okay, well, uh, instead of Rice-A-Roni, 365 00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:58,333 how about I, uh, give you... 366 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,980 this book? I don't wanna read! 367 00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:03,399 I wanna eat! 368 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:06,585 But, sir-I want my year's supply 369 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,620 of Rice-A-Roni, plus all the extra Rice-A-Roni 370 00:17:08,644 --> 00:17:13,409 I would have accrued in interest over the past three decades! 371 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,628 Yeah, uh... 372 00:17:16,652 --> 00:17:17,719 no? 373 00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:22,133 Didn't wanna use this, 374 00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:23,958 but you forced my hand. 375 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:26,995 Wait a minute. 376 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,559 Hello? 377 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,545 Darling, Lou has an envelope for me out in the garage. 378 00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:34,847 So? 379 00:17:34,871 --> 00:17:36,615 I need you to fax me the photo of Dick Clark 380 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,851 locked in a muddy embrace with Fannie Flag. 381 00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:40,686 It's from The Battle of the Network Stars. 382 00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:41,820 Dad-No, I can't. 383 00:17:41,844 --> 00:17:43,321 I'm about to get in the shower here. 384 00:17:43,345 --> 00:17:45,297 I need it! Hold on! 385 00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,681 What the hell is going on here? 386 00:18:09,705 --> 00:18:10,682 We're training. 387 00:18:10,706 --> 00:18:12,601 You were fast asleep. 388 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,887 I was resting between sets. 389 00:18:14,911 --> 00:18:17,556 And you, how can you let this happen? 390 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:20,142 I'm weak. But please don't tell my wife. 391 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,994 Just get outta here. 392 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,813 Could I at least save my game to the memory card? 393 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:28,033 So weak. 394 00:18:28,057 --> 00:18:31,153 So this has been going on 395 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,404 during your training sessions. 396 00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:35,741 Lou plays video games while you sleep and eat. 397 00:18:35,765 --> 00:18:36,882 And read. 398 00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:38,827 And all that crap 399 00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,795 about me being "the wind beneath your wings." 400 00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:42,687 Did you even work out at all? 401 00:18:44,006 --> 00:18:46,335 Define "at all." 402 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,586 Doug, if you didn't wanna work out, 403 00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:49,554 why didn't you just let me quit when I wanted to 404 00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:50,622 and end the whole thing? 405 00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:52,023 Because I wanted to help you. 406 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,442 You said you could stand to lose like 10 or 15 pounds. 407 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,833 I- I just- 408 00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:03,101 I said I could stand to lose a couple of pounds. 409 00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,275 Hm? Yeah. 410 00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:06,754 I said a couple of pounds. 411 00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:09,525 You just said 10 or 15. 412 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:10,925 A couple, that's a figure of speech, 413 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:12,627 like when I say I'm going to White Castle 414 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,396 and getting a couple of burgers. 415 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,756 Everyone knows it's 10, 15. 416 00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:19,817 Oh, I see. 417 00:19:19,841 --> 00:19:22,354 So you kept up this whole charade 418 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,679 because you wanted me to lose weight? 419 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,191 Define "charade." 420 00:19:27,215 --> 00:19:29,494 Okay, so you think I'm fat now? No! 421 00:19:29,518 --> 00:19:31,946 Yeah-No, obviously you do. I mean, just admit it. 422 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:34,038 Be a man and just say it. 423 00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:36,468 This is a trap. 424 00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:39,805 No, it is not a trap. 425 00:19:39,829 --> 00:19:42,757 It feels like a trap because... 426 00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:44,125 I have the same bad feeling I did 427 00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:47,985 when you made me agree you have a slight, slight mustache. 428 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,215 Doug, this is not a trap. 429 00:19:51,239 --> 00:19:53,284 I just wanna know my husband's honest feelings. 430 00:19:53,308 --> 00:19:54,776 That's all. 431 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,373 Okay, I guess... 432 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,732 it wouldn't hurt you if you lost a few pounds. 433 00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:03,528 Look, why is it okay that you can get on me 434 00:20:03,552 --> 00:20:04,696 about my weight every day, 435 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:05,897 but I can't say a thing to you 436 00:20:05,921 --> 00:20:07,416 if you need to drop a few? 437 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,385 Because that's just the way it is. 438 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:12,970 Carrie, look, all right-Look, come here. 439 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,806 I got carried away, all right? 440 00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:17,074 I swear to you, I don't even care what size you are. 441 00:20:17,098 --> 00:20:18,810 I love you no matter what. 442 00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:19,844 Thank you. 443 00:20:19,868 --> 00:20:21,479 I appreciate that, Doug. 444 00:20:21,503 --> 00:20:25,150 However, I still think you need to lose more than 30 pounds. 445 00:20:25,174 --> 00:20:26,401 What?! Yeah, that's right. 446 00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:27,919 More than 30-? That's right. 447 00:20:27,943 --> 00:20:29,187 You heard me, okay? 448 00:20:29,211 --> 00:20:30,422 And this is how we're gonna do it. 449 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:31,589 I'm gonna keep working out 450 00:20:31,613 --> 00:20:34,226 only to be supportive of you, 451 00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,128 because I don't need to lose weight. 452 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,452 Isn't that right, Doug? 453 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,868 I'm supposed to say yes here, right? 454 00:20:42,892 --> 00:20:46,477 I don't know. You can say whatever you want. 455 00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:48,290 I wanna say yes. 456 00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,507 Yes, that would be correct. 457 00:20:49,531 --> 00:20:51,342 Yeah. So you know what we're gonna do? 458 00:20:51,366 --> 00:20:52,911 We're gonna clean out the cupboards 459 00:20:52,935 --> 00:20:53,912 of all the junk food, 460 00:20:53,936 --> 00:20:55,279 starting with the Ring Dings- 461 00:20:55,303 --> 00:20:58,666 Yeah, about the Ring Dings, um... 462 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:02,226 You ate them during your "workouts"? 463 00:21:03,445 --> 00:21:04,579 I wanna say yes. 464 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,192 Good. Now, let's go hit the weights. 465 00:21:26,736 --> 00:21:29,014 Hey, kids, so, what do you feel like tonight? 466 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:32,090 Original or Cajun-chicken flavor?