1
00:00:08,505 --> 00:00:09,589
Son of a-

2
00:00:57,923 --> 00:00:59,124
Little help.

3
00:01:37,112 --> 00:01:38,857
Hey, sticky buns.

4
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:41,716
Aw, it's cute when you
give me little nicknames.

5
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,698
Nothing.

6
00:01:46,722 --> 00:01:47,899
Aren't my parents here yet?

7
00:01:47,923 --> 00:01:49,034
No.

8
00:01:49,058 --> 00:01:50,819
Uh, they called from
the airport, though.

9
00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:54,322
Your father's holding
out for a cheaper taxi.

10
00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:56,875
I would've liked to see them
before my union meeting tonight.

11
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:59,744
Union meeting? Since when do
you go to union meetings?

12
00:01:59,768 --> 00:02:01,796
Since they started serving beer.

13
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,698
And we might be going
on strike or something.

14
00:02:03,722 --> 00:02:05,367
I don't know. What's
the big deal?

15
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,718
Well, Doug, I-I have
some work to do.

16
00:02:06,742 --> 00:02:08,403
I need you to entertain
your parents.

17
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,538
And I was kind of hoping to

18
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,740
try out my new
bubble bath as well.

19
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:13,665
"Lavender surrender."

20
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,128
Make a good stripper name.

21
00:02:16,152 --> 00:02:17,479
All right, Doug.

22
00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:19,932
I'm just saying. I wouldn't have
to go to any union meetings

23
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,334
if you could work a couple
nights as Lavender Surrender.

24
00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:23,936
All right, come on.
I really have stuff

25
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,254
I gotta do tonight.

26
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,705
Relax, all right,
I got it covered.

27
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,306
Tonight, I got two
theater tickets

28
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:29,441
for my parents.

29
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:31,010
So once they're
out of the house,

30
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,245
you can take a bath, invite
your boyfriend over-

31
00:02:33,269 --> 00:02:34,947
The house is yours.

32
00:02:34,971 --> 00:02:36,682
I just hope they're

33
00:02:36,706 --> 00:02:38,383
getting along a little better.

34
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:39,451
What?

35
00:02:39,475 --> 00:02:41,069
You remember last
month in Florida,

36
00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:43,305
they were going at each
other all the time.

37
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,973
No, they weren't.

38
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:45,908
Doug, come on.

39
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,709
Your father called
your mother an idiot

40
00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:51,146
because she bought him
potato chips in a can.

41
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,715
The man likes his
chips in a bag.

42
00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,517
Remember that time
I got mad at you

43
00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:57,118
because you bought
me mini donuts

44
00:02:57,142 --> 00:02:59,721
instead of the regular size?

45
00:02:59,745 --> 00:03:02,257
Does that mean I don't love you?

46
00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,960
Well, you did say some
pretty hurtful things.

47
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:07,986
Well, I don't like mini donuts.

48
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,140
There they are. Okay.

49
00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:17,106
Hey!

50
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,940
Hello, honey!

51
00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:20,175
How are you? Good to see ya.

52
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,910
Hi, Dougie. Hey, Dougie, quick.

53
00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:24,329
Go grab the bags before
the cabby gets 'em.

54
00:03:24,353 --> 00:03:25,787
This guy is fishing for a tip.

55
00:03:27,156 --> 00:03:27,916
So how was your flight?

56
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,351
Oh, it was really nice.

57
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,170
Ah, you know, they recycle
the air on those planes,

58
00:03:32,194 --> 00:03:34,773
so it's mostly exhaled
carbon dioxide

59
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,442
and flecks of other
people's skin.

60
00:03:37,466 --> 00:03:39,761
Did not know that. Hm.

61
00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:41,964
I brought you the
in-flight magazine.

62
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,366
Oh, thank you. There's
an article in there

63
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,101
on Arsenio Hall's
favorite steak house.

64
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,502
Turns out-

65
00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:50,155
Bup-bup-bup-bup. I
wanna be surprised.

66
00:03:50,179 --> 00:03:51,957
Still fighting bags
with wheels, huh, dad?

67
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,093
Hey, wheels break.
Then where are ya?

68
00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:55,394
Right back to here.

69
00:03:55,418 --> 00:03:58,263
So, Joe, you all ready
for your big convention?

70
00:03:58,287 --> 00:04:00,049
Oh, yes, I am.

71
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,685
Feast your eyes on
what's gonna bring home

72
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,787
the golden caboose

73
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,955
at the 43rd annual.

74
00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:09,624
Model Train Expo.

75
00:04:09,648 --> 00:04:11,409
Oh, that is pretty sweet.

76
00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:13,228
Hey, hey, hey. You
know the rules.

77
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,230
Oh, come on, Joe. Let
him touch the train.

78
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:17,599
It's not a train.
It's an engine.

79
00:04:17,623 --> 00:04:19,618
Oh, well, in that case, who cares?
I care!

80
00:04:19,642 --> 00:04:21,720
You know, for one week-
one week out of the year

81
00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:23,622
could I have that
to enjoy myself?

82
00:04:23,646 --> 00:04:24,423
Fine.

83
00:04:24,447 --> 00:04:25,564
Good.

84
00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:31,469
Speaking of enjoying
yourselves...

85
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,315
who's going to see Robert Goulet

86
00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:36,018
in Camelot tonight?

87
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,052
Really? Oh?

88
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,121
Oh. That's my favorite show.

89
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:40,255
I know.

90
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,357
Aw, Joe, look.

91
00:04:42,381 --> 00:04:44,883
Whoa! Sixty-five bucks each.

92
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:48,597
I wonder how much of
this goes to Goulet.

93
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,965
All right, well, you
guys have a great time.

94
00:04:50,989 --> 00:04:52,584
I got a union thing
I gotta go to.

95
00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:53,953
Aw, thank you, Dougie.

96
00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,871
That was so generous of you.

97
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,222
Come on.

98
00:04:57,246 --> 00:04:58,156
You guys raised me.

99
00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:00,258
You paid for me
to go to college.

100
00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:02,250
Sorry that didn't work out.

101
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,423
Ooh. Look at you.

102
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,358
You look beautiful.

103
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,109
Oh, thank you, Carrie.

104
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,561
I am so looking
forward to tonight.

105
00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,830
There's nothing more
exciting than a live show.

106
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,031
Yeah.

107
00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:24,165
Last live show Doug took me to,

108
00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:26,291
it was two guys
fighting in a cage.

109
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,271
Oh, no.

110
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,373
You're not wearing that
train hat to the theater.

111
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,408
I can't go. What?

112
00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,193
I got a call from the
convention center.

113
00:05:35,217 --> 00:05:37,162
They're assigning table
locations tonight,

114
00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:38,613
not in the morning. So?

115
00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:40,582
So if I don't get
down there ASAP,

116
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:44,586
I'll be way in the back with
all those monorail freaks.

117
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,455
But Dougie bought those tickets.

118
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:47,723
Hey.

119
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,175
The grand conductor makes
the assignments, not me.

120
00:05:50,199 --> 00:05:52,350
I'm sorry. I gotta go.

121
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,898
I'm sorry, Janet.

122
00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:57,599
Don't be.

123
00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,150
Who needs him?

124
00:05:59,174 --> 00:06:00,985
Hey, maybe you'll come with me.

125
00:06:01,009 --> 00:06:02,287
We could do a girls' night out?

126
00:06:02,311 --> 00:06:04,373
Ah, I wish I could, but
I have all this work.

127
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,308
Oh, yeah, of course, your work.

128
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,477
Hey, you know what?

129
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,480
There's no law against a woman
going to the theater by herself.

130
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,248
I just, uh...

131
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,416
I'll do it, and-And-And
it'll be better, you know,

132
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,453
because I won't have to fight
with Joe for the armrest.

133
00:06:18,477 --> 00:06:19,688
Yeah. There you go.

134
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,913
So I'm just gonna go get my bag.

135
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,610
Hey, Dad.

136
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,346
You're home early.

137
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,680
Tough night at the
senior center.

138
00:06:28,704 --> 00:06:30,582
I had to flip the
checkerboard in a fit of rage

139
00:06:30,606 --> 00:06:32,040
earlier than usual.

140
00:06:33,675 --> 00:06:35,587
I take it the duke and duchess

141
00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:37,206
of Fort Lauderdale have arrived.

142
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,673
Yes.

143
00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:40,959
Why do you have such a
problem with Doug's parents?

144
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,845
I can't take their
constant bragging.

145
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,514
"Oh, we saved for
our retirement."

146
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:46,738
How bourgeois.

147
00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:53,071
Goulet's in town?

148
00:06:53,095 --> 00:06:54,195
Yeah.

149
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:57,409
Hey. Why don't you
go with Janet?

150
00:06:57,433 --> 00:06:58,477
Me?

151
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,260
Yeah. Joe can't go,

152
00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:00,845
and I have all this
work I have to do,

153
00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:02,447
but it would really
help everyone out

154
00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:03,448
if you would take her.

155
00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:04,516
What do you say?

156
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:06,034
No posible, señorita.

157
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,402
Dad.

158
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,738
Come on. Please?

159
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,541
How can I say no
to my little girl?

160
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,566
Ten bucks, plus expenses.

161
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:21,540
Subway fare, $3.

162
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,276
Two knishes, $4.

163
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,056
Janet, how much
was that program?

164
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,213
Oh, these are free.

165
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,744
One commemorative program,

166
00:07:32,768 --> 00:07:35,470
$12.95.

167
00:07:36,972 --> 00:07:38,800
It was so nice of you to
come with me, Arthur.

168
00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:39,801
My pleasure.

169
00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:41,493
Carry the one...

170
00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:45,240
It's a beautiful theater.

171
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:46,741
Last time I was here,

172
00:07:46,765 --> 00:07:48,843
I was a young socialist dreamer,

173
00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:50,579
taking in the opening night

174
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,080
of a Clifford Odets musical.

175
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,415
I believe it was called...

176
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:57,018
Johnny Wants a Living Wage.

177
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:57,969
But I don't want to bore you.

178
00:07:57,993 --> 00:07:59,721
Oh, it's not boring at all.

179
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,105
I love the theater.

180
00:08:01,129 --> 00:08:03,775
I can never get Joe to come,
let alone talk about it,

181
00:08:03,799 --> 00:08:04,776
so...

182
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,345
please go on.

183
00:08:06,369 --> 00:08:07,479
Well, it was a marvelous play,

184
00:08:07,503 --> 00:08:08,613
almost Brechtian,

185
00:08:08,637 --> 00:08:11,406
with a sassy hint of
old-time burlesque.

186
00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:14,752
Closed that night.

187
00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:16,337
My, how fascinating.

188
00:08:16,361 --> 00:08:17,789
You want fascinating?

189
00:08:17,813 --> 00:08:19,458
Have I ever told you
about the night

190
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,883
I pumped Helen Hayes' stomach?

191
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:42,787
Oh, my goodness.

192
00:08:44,373 --> 00:08:46,651
Oh. Oh, that was a hoot.

193
00:08:46,675 --> 00:08:49,755
I haven't had so
much fun in years.

194
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,757
Well, Arthur Spooner

195
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,291
does not disappoint.

196
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,659
Well, good night.

197
00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:57,328
And thank you again
for a lovely evening.

198
00:08:57,352 --> 00:08:59,681
Thank you, milady.

199
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,616
Hello, Douglas.

200
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,508
Good night.

201
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,929
Hey, Ma. Oh, hey, honey.

202
00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:15,930
Off to work?

203
00:09:15,954 --> 00:09:18,266
Yeah. Is, uh, Dad up yet?

204
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:20,301
Up? He's already at
the convention center

205
00:09:20,325 --> 00:09:21,860
with his trains.

206
00:09:23,128 --> 00:09:25,106
Just-I feel bad leaving
you here by yourself.

207
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,174
You, uh...

208
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:28,076
wanna meet me for lunch later?
Or-

209
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,994
Oh, just a reminder, Janet.

210
00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:31,163
Bring a light sweater.

211
00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:32,630
It's chilly on the lake.

212
00:09:32,654 --> 00:09:34,199
Okay.

213
00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:35,856
No, thanks, honey, I'll be fine.

214
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,783
Hey, honey.

215
00:10:58,807 --> 00:11:01,419
I'm reading an article, "Nine
Ways to Please Your Man."

216
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,521
Now, this might be
the wine talking,

217
00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:05,613
but I am willing
to do two of them.

218
00:11:07,549 --> 00:11:08,543
That's great.

219
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,844
Look, I know you've been busy

220
00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:11,479
with your bubble
baths and whatnot.

221
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:13,881
I just wanted to get you up
to speed on a couple things.

222
00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:15,817
Uh, we're getting low on mayo,

223
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,420
I fixed that faucet thing.
And, uh-

224
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,554
oh, yeah

225
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:22,290
our parents are dating.

226
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:23,308
No, they're not.

227
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:25,543
They're just spending
time together.

228
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:26,661
See, this is all your fault.

229
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,330
What? Yeah. Uh-

230
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,382
'Cause you had to send
your father with my mother

231
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:31,416
to the theater.

232
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,684
W- why would you do that?

233
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,186
I mean, there's a
reason we keep him

234
00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,243
in the basement.

235
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:39,674
Doug, I was just trying
to do something nice

236
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:40,908
for your mother.

237
00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:41,759
Oh, really?

238
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:42,827
Yeah, and you know what?

239
00:11:42,851 --> 00:11:44,712
We wouldn't be having
this conversation

240
00:11:44,736 --> 00:11:46,248
if your father
would've taken her.

241
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,083
But, no. Of course,
he had a very serious

242
00:11:49,107 --> 00:11:51,986
choo-choo emergency.

243
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:54,121
Hey, when he wins
that golden caboose,

244
00:11:54,145 --> 00:11:58,626
you're gonna be sucking on
an ice-cold shut-up-sicle.

245
00:11:58,650 --> 00:11:59,461
Doug.

246
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,413
I know this is hard for
you to handle, okay,

247
00:12:02,437 --> 00:12:04,783
but your parents are
having problems.

248
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:05,600
They are not!

249
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:06,768
Yes, they are.

250
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,936
Your father has been
neglecting your mother.

251
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,979
Hello! It's train week.

252
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:13,108
All right, look-

253
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,226
Maybe they're going through
a little bit of a-

254
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,028
A rough spot right now.
But it doesn't help

255
00:12:17,052 --> 00:12:18,997
having your dad
sniffing around my mom.

256
00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:20,732
And by the way, yesterday,

257
00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:22,323
I think I saw him doing that.

258
00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:26,104
So what do you want me to do?

259
00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:27,889
Talk to him. Tell
him to back off.

260
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,324
All right, I will
talk to my father.

261
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,726
But I really do think you
need to talk to your mother.

262
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,528
Think I should talk to her?
Know what you do?

263
00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:35,019
Just get the monkey in the cage.

264
00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:47,008
Hey, Dad.

265
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,699
Ah, just the man
I wanted to see.

266
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:53,398
Here's the total expenses
I've incurred for Janet.

267
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:56,357
I think you'll find my rates
are quite competitive.

268
00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:59,687
Uh, listen, Dad. I
don't think you should

269
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:01,256
take Janet out tonight.

270
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,057
Why? I've already
billed you for it.

271
00:13:03,081 --> 00:13:04,492
Well, I-I just-

272
00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:06,594
I think Doug's parents are
having some problems,

273
00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:09,230
and I don't want Janet to
misinterpret your intentions.

274
00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:11,599
I assure you, my intentions

275
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,701
are purely monetary.

276
00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,537
Oh, that's good to know.

277
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,405
Plus, she's not really my type.

278
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,674
Arthur Spooner likes
'em lean and mean,

279
00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:20,731
like a feral cat.

280
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,845
Okay, well, I'm glad you
understand because,

281
00:13:24,869 --> 00:13:26,547
you know, you're a
pretty charming guy.

282
00:13:26,571 --> 00:13:29,150
And with you in the picture, you
know, anything could happen.

283
00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:30,635
Know what I'm saying? Yes, I do.

284
00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:31,986
Okay.

285
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,312
Although, now that
you bring it up...

286
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,177
...this last week has been
such a crazy whirlwind...

287
00:13:39,201 --> 00:13:40,912
I really haven't had a chance

288
00:13:40,936 --> 00:13:42,747
to gauge my feelings for Janet.

289
00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:45,166
No, Dad, no feelings.
Nothing to gauge.

290
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:46,384
I mean...

291
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:49,387
Janet does have a smile
that lights up the room.

292
00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:51,339
See, I disagree.
Middle-of-the-road smile.

293
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,775
And you did say her
marriage is on the rocks,

294
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,711
so I'd just be speeding
up the inevitable.

295
00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:59,781
Okay, Dad, look. I
will give you $500

296
00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,449
if you stay away
from Doug's mother.

297
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,908
My love can't be bought!

298
00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:09,023
Oh, hi, Dougie.

299
00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:10,825
Hey, Ma.

300
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,827
Artie's taking me to the
Velvet Lounge tonight.

301
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,596
Is this dressy enough?

302
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,431
I- Yeah, actually, you know what?
I-

303
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,499
I wanna talk to you about
Arthur for a second.

304
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:19,657
Oh, sure. What is it?

305
00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:22,654
I just wanna thank
you, first of all,

306
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:25,557
for putting up with his
craziness all week.

307
00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:28,894
Welcome to my world, you
know what I'm saying?

308
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:30,044
Oh, I don't mind. Mm-mm.

309
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:31,613
I like Arthur.

310
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,631
Yeah, y-you know.

311
00:14:32,655 --> 00:14:33,899
You like him, but...

312
00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:35,133
in the way you like

313
00:14:35,157 --> 00:14:37,491
a sad, little three-legged
dog, you know. Heh.

314
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:41,406
Actually, it's more pity
than like, am I right?

315
00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:44,091
No, I really like him.

316
00:14:44,115 --> 00:14:46,194
Okay, fine. You like him. Yeah.

317
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,129
What's your point?

318
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,065
My point is, uh, you
don't actually like him

319
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,766
like you like dad, right?

320
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,801
I mean...

321
00:14:53,825 --> 00:14:55,592
I'm so confused.

322
00:14:57,729 --> 00:14:59,507
Oh, God.

323
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:02,927
I- it's just that it's
been so long since...

324
00:15:02,951 --> 00:15:04,228
someone paid attention to me.

325
00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,030
Someone who-

326
00:15:06,054 --> 00:15:08,466
Who was excited to
spend time with me.

327
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,934
Dad does that.

328
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,669
No, he doesn't.

329
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,371
All he cares about
is his trains.

330
00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:15,657
Yeah. Yeah, he-Yeah,
he likes his trains,

331
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,593
but you guys have so
much other stuff.

332
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:19,711
Like what?

333
00:15:19,735 --> 00:15:21,469
Like-You got your Boggle.

334
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,083
Uh, Judging Amy.

335
00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:28,653
Your Judge Judy-
All your judges.

336
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,389
Bottom line, you guys
got a lot of stuff.

337
00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:32,907
Look, Doug...

338
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:36,077
I know that I'm not a
young girl anymore.

339
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,346
But I still have
urges and desires

340
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,037
that need to be fulfilled.

341
00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:47,545
And I'm not just talking about
the physical act of sex.

342
00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:55,747
Which, by the way, your father-

343
00:15:55,771 --> 00:15:57,315
All right, Ma, that's it!

344
00:15:57,339 --> 00:15:59,550
No more desires or urges.

345
00:15:59,574 --> 00:16:01,119
And you are not to be fulfilled.

346
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,922
Now go in there and
bake something!

347
00:16:03,946 --> 00:16:06,024
I'm sorry, Douglas,

348
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,782
but I am going out
with Arthur tonight.

349
00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:14,748
Did you talk to your dad?

350
00:16:14,772 --> 00:16:17,774
Um, yes, we talked.

351
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:20,772
Douglas, I want you to know

352
00:16:20,796 --> 00:16:22,674
if things between your
mother and I go the way

353
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:24,442
I think they're heading,

354
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:26,834
I would never try to
replace your father.

355
00:16:28,069 --> 00:16:30,554
But I do expect to be obeyed.

356
00:16:31,673 --> 00:16:32,933
What happened down there?

357
00:16:32,957 --> 00:16:33,934
I don't know.

358
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,792
It got away from me pretty fast.

359
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,607
You listen up, old man. Um...

360
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:41,142
if you try to take
my mother out again,

361
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,411
you're gonna be in
a world of pain.

362
00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,636
Son, this belt doesn't
just keep my pants up.

363
00:16:56,147 --> 00:16:57,358
Hey, Dad.

364
00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:59,016
Yeah, just a sec.

365
00:17:02,954 --> 00:17:05,923
You think Dorfman's got this
in his stupid alpine village?

366
00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:08,670
Look. You know, th-that's great.

367
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,655
Do you know Mom went out
with Arthur again tonight?

368
00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:13,274
Oh, good. Here, hand me that
little Chinese couple, okay?

369
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:16,177
You want a shot at winning this,
you gotta play the PC game.

370
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,730
Look, you know, I-
I talked to Mom,

371
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:20,832
and I gotta tell you, she's
not completely happy.

372
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:23,434
Aw, you know your mom.
She's fine.

373
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:24,568
Da-No, Dad, she's not.

374
00:17:24,592 --> 00:17:26,304
And you know where she
went with Arthur?

375
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:27,838
To the Velvet Lounge.

376
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,190
Really?

377
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,326
That's where I used to take her
when we started dating. Heh.

378
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:35,763
Yeah. Y-you know, I-I-I-I
think you should go to her.

379
00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:38,482
No, I can't. This
is judging night.

380
00:17:38,506 --> 00:17:40,785
Uh, this is my year. I'm gonna
get that golden caboose.

381
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,303
Dad, would you stop
with the trains?!

382
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:43,821
What? Stop! Enough already!

383
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,306
I mean, Mom was right.

384
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,425
All you care about are
these damn trains.

385
00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:49,193
Our whole lives they came first.

386
00:17:49,217 --> 00:17:50,595
That's not true. It is true.

387
00:17:50,619 --> 00:17:52,330
When I was a kid you
wouldn't let me touch 'em.

388
00:17:52,354 --> 00:17:54,164
You had your chance,
and you blew it.

389
00:17:54,188 --> 00:17:56,567
I was 4. The freight car
looked like a candy bar.

390
00:17:56,591 --> 00:17:58,836
Turn the page. Aw.

391
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,638
Come on, Dougie. Even
when I got older, Dad,

392
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:01,956
you said I couldn't
play with 'em

393
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,408
'cause I didn't have a license.

394
00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,333
There were no
licenses, were there?

395
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,465
Not at the time, no. It's...

396
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,056
Y- your mother's really unhappy?

397
00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:20,781
You're right.

398
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:25,979
These trains, they hurt
the people I love.

399
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,332
I gotta go find your mother.

400
00:18:28,356 --> 00:18:30,367
Good. I, uh...

401
00:18:30,391 --> 00:18:33,237
I need you to do
me a favor, son.

402
00:18:33,261 --> 00:18:34,561
What?

403
00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:41,101
Take the Boston Bullet
into the station.

404
00:18:43,071 --> 00:18:44,455
Can do.

405
00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:24,178
Janet. I must say, you move
with a silky elegance.

406
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,030
Thank you, Arthur.

407
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:29,910
You know...

408
00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:32,330
we can stay out as
late as you want.

409
00:19:32,354 --> 00:19:36,274
I've adjusted my
medications accordingly.

410
00:19:44,549 --> 00:19:45,626
Oh, it looks like someone

411
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:49,330
could use another "martooni."

412
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,256
Well, maybe just one more.

413
00:20:05,989 --> 00:20:06,989
Joe?

414
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:36,710
Janet, I'm not saying
it's gonna be easy,

415
00:20:36,734 --> 00:20:38,713
but with my love and
your alimony...

416
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,805
we can build a life together.

417
00:20:46,528 --> 00:20:47,528
All right.

418
00:20:55,486 --> 00:20:57,471
I'm gonna need a
receipt for these.

419
00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:02,226
And it's back to the basement.

420
00:21:15,172 --> 00:21:17,518
I told you, my dad had to leave.

421
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:19,253
They were his trains.

422
00:21:19,277 --> 00:21:21,556
But you said your father had
these trains for 30 years.

423
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,057
You never used it once?

424
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,342
He wouldn't let me.

425
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,893
It doesn't add up.

426
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:28,128
Doesn't add up.

427
00:21:28,152 --> 00:21:29,172
Am I released now?

428
00:21:29,197 --> 00:21:30,197
No.