1 00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:13,095 You got the hiccups. 2 00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:15,281 What gave me away? 3 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:18,311 The hiccups? 4 00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,079 How about I scare you? 5 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,148 Guaranteed to get rid of them. 6 00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,317 It's all right, Arthur. I'm fine, thanks. 7 00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,151 Okay, suit yourself. 8 00:00:26,175 --> 00:00:28,043 I just thought that-Boo! 9 00:00:31,648 --> 00:00:32,891 Okay, still have the hiccups, 10 00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:35,044 and now there's tuna on me. 11 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,796 Actually it's chicken salad-Boo! 12 00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:37,914 Stop! 13 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,138 Boo! Boo! Stop it! Stop! 14 00:00:40,322 --> 00:00:41,501 I'm trying to help! 15 00:00:41,525 --> 00:00:42,885 I don't need your help, all right? 16 00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:44,804 So knock it off! I'm sorry, Douglas. 17 00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:46,172 I was merely trying to repay you 18 00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:49,641 for all the kindness you've shown me. 19 00:00:49,665 --> 00:00:52,711 But I clearly, uh, overstepped my bounds. 20 00:00:52,735 --> 00:00:54,597 Believe me, 21 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:55,621 it won't happen again. 22 00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,100 Arthur, look, I just wanted to- 23 00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:15,190 You're welcome. 24 00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,670 Well, there you go. 25 00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:55,875 You drink it in, my little meaty-weaty steakie-weakies. 26 00:01:55,899 --> 00:01:57,476 Yes. 27 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,544 Daddy's gonna give you a nice little bath, 28 00:01:59,568 --> 00:02:01,713 and after your bath, he's gonna cook you 29 00:02:01,737 --> 00:02:02,714 and eat you. 30 00:02:02,738 --> 00:02:04,616 Yes, he is. Yes, he is. 31 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,068 Hey, honey. Hey, there she is. 32 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,619 All right, let's fire up the grill. 33 00:02:07,643 --> 00:02:08,754 Doug- 34 00:02:08,778 --> 00:02:09,639 Okay, now I'm in charge 35 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,873 of steak and potatoes, 36 00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,042 so if you want anything green, 37 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,043 that's all you. 38 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,511 Doug, stop. What? 39 00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:18,264 I can't do this tonight. What do you mean? 40 00:02:18,288 --> 00:02:19,431 I got stuck with this report, 41 00:02:19,455 --> 00:02:20,950 and it's due in the morning. 42 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,101 But we're supposed to have meat and movie night. 43 00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:25,037 It was your idea. Only the movie. 44 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,722 Your idea was just to have meat night, 45 00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:28,390 and that was after I bargained you down 46 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,159 from meat week. 47 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,928 Carrie, this is Kobe steak from Japan. 48 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,429 I've been looking forward to this. 49 00:02:34,453 --> 00:02:36,449 I've rehearsed every chew. I'm ready. 50 00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:37,266 I don't know, honey. 51 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,085 What do you want me to do? I have to work. 52 00:02:39,109 --> 00:02:42,922 Well-Why are you bringing work home with you anyway? 53 00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:43,789 It just happened. 54 00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:45,457 We were in a meeting and Ms. Boone asked 55 00:02:45,481 --> 00:02:46,825 if anyone had any suggestions 56 00:02:46,849 --> 00:02:49,679 on how to lower acquisition fees. 57 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,431 Don't tell me you said something. 58 00:02:52,455 --> 00:02:54,550 I just said maybe we should research 59 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,136 out-of-state escrow companies. 60 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,754 And then she said, "Great idea, Carrie. 61 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,890 Why don't you take the ball on this one?" 62 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,558 And you took it? 63 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:03,909 You never take the ball! 64 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,261 The ball's trouble. It's always trouble. 65 00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:09,031 I know, but I had an idea. 66 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,082 You-? You had an idea? 67 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,184 Do you know how many times I've had ideas at work, 68 00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:14,152 ways to improve service, improve safety, 69 00:03:14,176 --> 00:03:15,153 prevent accidents? 70 00:03:15,177 --> 00:03:18,246 But I keep my mouth shut. 71 00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:21,476 Look, how about this: 72 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,078 We let the meat keep marinating, 73 00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:24,346 and we'll have it tomorrow. 74 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,800 Tomorrow? That seems like a million years away. 75 00:03:27,824 --> 00:03:33,005 And tomorrow it'll be meat, movie, and me night, hm? 76 00:03:33,029 --> 00:03:36,225 I still get the big steak? 77 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:38,094 Yes, honey. 78 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,012 Okay, well, what time will you be home? 79 00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:42,197 I'm not sure, but I will call 80 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:43,565 as soon as I'm on my way, 81 00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:45,851 and that'll be your signal to fire up the grill. 82 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:46,852 Okay. 83 00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:49,155 Wh-what's the signal again? 84 00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:50,505 When I call, baby. When I call, okay? 85 00:03:50,529 --> 00:03:52,297 I read you. I got it. Yeah. All right. 86 00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,346 Hey, you get off of there. Get off of there. 87 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,781 And let that go. You let that go. 88 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,116 Relax, Douglas. Bad! 89 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:04,503 I was just admiring these two wonderful Kobe steaks. 90 00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:05,871 Where's mine? 91 00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:08,290 Well, if you have one, it's still in Japan. 92 00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:09,959 Always with the quips. 93 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,711 Seriously, is it in the fridge? 94 00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,262 No, just these two steaks, Arthur. 95 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,431 Carrie and I were gonna have a special dinner. 96 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,050 I see. And what was I supposed to eat? Dog food? 97 00:04:18,074 --> 00:04:20,953 No, lasagne from last night. 98 00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:23,222 Okay, I see how it works around here. 99 00:04:23,246 --> 00:04:25,558 Shove some leftovers down the old man's throat, 100 00:04:25,582 --> 00:04:27,125 then as soon as his back is turned, 101 00:04:27,149 --> 00:04:29,979 out comes the champagne and caviar. 102 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,113 Okay, you know what, Arthur? 103 00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:34,116 It's one dinner. Just relax. I will not relax! 104 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:37,453 What other luxuries do you and Carrie keep hidden from me? 105 00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,677 Nothing. 106 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:44,243 Why don't I have any of this downstairs? 107 00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,644 'Cause that's dish washing liquid, 108 00:04:45,668 --> 00:04:47,463 and you don't have a dishwasher. 109 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:48,297 Exactly. 110 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,522 Check and mate. 111 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,089 Hey. 112 00:04:57,113 --> 00:04:58,090 Ms. Boone said anything 113 00:04:58,114 --> 00:04:59,475 about your report yet? 114 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,227 No, and she's had it all day. 115 00:05:01,251 --> 00:05:03,646 Well, that's not necessarily bad. 116 00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:04,897 Of course it's bad. 117 00:05:04,921 --> 00:05:06,482 I know. I tried. 118 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,983 My husband told me not to take the ball. 119 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,384 I should've listened to him. 120 00:05:09,408 --> 00:05:12,144 He's a very wise man. 121 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,762 Well, I'm gonna head out. 122 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,030 I'm meeting some of the girls 123 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,998 at T.G.I. Friday's for Shrimp Fest. 124 00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:23,833 I'll walk out with you. 125 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,100 I just gotta call my husband. 126 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,641 And tell him I'm on my way. Okay. 127 00:05:33,683 --> 00:05:34,927 Actually, you know what? 128 00:05:34,951 --> 00:05:36,061 You go ahead. I- 129 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,030 I gotta find out what she thought of my report. 130 00:05:38,054 --> 00:05:39,215 It's gonna drive me nuts. 131 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,888 Okay. Good luck. Thanks. 132 00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:47,296 Come in. 133 00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,643 Uh, I was just, um, headed out. 134 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:53,395 Oh, you're joining the girls for Shrimp Fest? 135 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,947 Uh... no. 136 00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:56,816 Actually, I just wanted to, uh, 137 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,734 talk to you about my report. 138 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,036 Oh, yes, your report. Yeah. 139 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,470 Listen, I just think you should know 140 00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:04,806 that, uh, reports are really not my thing, okay? 141 00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,641 But I'm still a heck of a typist, 142 00:06:06,665 --> 00:06:08,810 and I could, uh, file like the wind, 143 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,412 and your personal errands, 144 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,882 my personal errands. 145 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,217 Carrie, your report was excellent. 146 00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,384 Really? Yes. 147 00:06:16,408 --> 00:06:19,004 You know, I had a good feeling about it. 148 00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:20,488 Good work, kiddo. 149 00:06:20,512 --> 00:06:22,490 And, you know, any time you have an idea, 150 00:06:22,514 --> 00:06:23,625 I wanna hear it. 151 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,650 I really value your input. 152 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,813 Wow. What? 153 00:06:27,837 --> 00:06:29,131 No, it's just that I've never had 154 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:32,651 my input valued before. 155 00:06:32,675 --> 00:06:33,835 I'm surprised, 156 00:06:33,859 --> 00:06:35,437 because you're obviously talented, 157 00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,928 and you've got a lot of potential. 158 00:06:37,847 --> 00:06:39,241 You know, 159 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:40,592 some of the partners are coming down 160 00:06:40,616 --> 00:06:42,961 for a conference call with our Chicago branch 161 00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:44,162 in about 20 minutes. 162 00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,031 We get a deli spread 163 00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,033 and kind of make it a working dinner. 164 00:06:48,057 --> 00:06:50,336 You're welcome to sit in if you like. 165 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,538 Really? Unless you have to get home. 166 00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:53,639 Home? 167 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:57,793 Um... no. No. No, no. 168 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:00,919 Call, damn it. 169 00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,467 Thank you. Thank you. 170 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,468 Hello? Carrie? 171 00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,793 Yeah, listen, honey- 172 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,679 You're going to sleep now. 173 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:18,680 And when you wake up, 174 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,449 you're gonna be in my tummy. 175 00:07:21,473 --> 00:07:23,775 And so will some of you. 176 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,257 What? 177 00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:30,525 Look, don't hang up. 178 00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:31,760 Is this part of the signal? 179 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,045 No, listen, 180 00:07:33,069 --> 00:07:34,629 I just found out that I have to work late 181 00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:36,398 again tonight. 182 00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,823 No! 183 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,037 Honey, I'm sorry, 184 00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:43,439 but my boss wants me to stay 185 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,391 for an important conference call. 186 00:07:45,415 --> 00:07:47,976 Carrie, you promised we'd do this tonight together. I- 187 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,168 Can't you just get out of it? 188 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,815 I- I wish I could, but... 189 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,934 I can't. 190 00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,018 What can I say? 191 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,843 I've got another nightmare job, you know? 192 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,712 All right, see you later. 193 00:08:03,665 --> 00:08:07,712 Mine, one-ply. Yours, two-ply. 194 00:08:07,736 --> 00:08:11,417 Where's my second ply? 195 00:08:11,441 --> 00:08:13,619 Arthur, you can have a steak now, okay? You happy? 196 00:08:13,643 --> 00:08:15,137 I'll be happy when I have a roach motel 197 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,095 under my sink too. 198 00:08:22,451 --> 00:08:24,329 All right, well, I already pulled all the comps 199 00:08:24,353 --> 00:08:25,848 for all the properties in the areas. 200 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,634 I just need you to, um, get the tax records, okay? 201 00:08:28,658 --> 00:08:29,935 Oh, you already got them? 202 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,537 Oh, well, you're the best. Thank you. 203 00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:32,905 Listen, I'm sorry I'm so hyper. 204 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,641 It's just my first time as team leader. 205 00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,298 Okay, bye-bye. 206 00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:39,668 Team leader. 207 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:46,235 Yay, honey's home. Honey. 208 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,919 Hi, big guy. Come here. Hey. 209 00:08:47,943 --> 00:08:49,954 Oh, that's the good stuff. 210 00:08:49,978 --> 00:08:51,723 Okay. Sorry I'm late again tonight. 211 00:08:51,747 --> 00:08:54,076 Yeah, it's, like, uh, been every night this week. 212 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,044 Yeah, I know. 213 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,868 That boss of mine is killing me. 214 00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,097 I heard you on the phone there 215 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,300 talking about being team leader. Yeah. 216 00:09:01,324 --> 00:09:03,619 Huh? Oh, yeah, that. Well, you know. 217 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,720 You know how what they say, 218 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:05,820 crap runs downhill? 219 00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:09,591 Well, meet the bottom of the hill. 220 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,516 Very unhappy about this. Yeah. 221 00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:12,995 I gotta tell you, 222 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,396 on the phone there, 223 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,631 you didn't seem that unhappy. 224 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:18,867 Oh, well, that's just me putting a good front, 225 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,068 you know, for those idiots, 226 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,436 if I wanna keep my job, you know? 227 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,038 'Cause if we didn't have bills to pay, 228 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,406 pop-pop-pop-pop! 229 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,697 You know what I'm sayin'? All right. Good night, baby. 230 00:09:43,766 --> 00:09:46,478 Yeooh! Yeah! 231 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,397 Oh! You know what? 232 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,332 This game really blows, Spence. 233 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:51,400 No, it doesn't. 234 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,285 Danny and I were playing in the apartment. 235 00:09:53,309 --> 00:09:54,403 We had a lot of fun, right? 236 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,427 Nah, it blew there too. 237 00:09:57,713 --> 00:09:59,024 Guys, look, 238 00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:00,876 you just gotta give it a chance, get into it. 239 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,517 Ready? Look, high pop fly. Whoo! 240 00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:09,218 You-You guys never wanna try anything new. 241 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,386 You didn't even give Nerf Bowling a chance. 242 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,255 Yeah, sorry if I didn't want to roll a sponge 243 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,956 into 10 other sponges. 244 00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,291 Why are you in such a bad mood? 245 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,227 Look, I don't wanna talk about it, all right? 246 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,951 You want one of my neck rubs? 247 00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:23,821 You want me to leave? 248 00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:26,768 It's not you guys, all right? It's Carrie. 249 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,637 I mean, she's working late every night. 250 00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:31,156 Acting weird. Sneaking phone calls. 251 00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:32,908 You think she's cheating on you? 252 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,843 No, I don't think she's cheating. I think she... 253 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:38,030 likes her job. 254 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,748 And what's wrong with that? 255 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:41,917 It's just not natural. I mean, who likes their job? 256 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,018 I do. 257 00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,086 Really? 258 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,854 You like working in a subway token booth? 259 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,039 Yes, I do. Didn't you tell me 260 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,008 someone peed under your door? 261 00:10:49,032 --> 00:10:52,183 Yeah, but it was a girl. 262 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,464 I had a job I loved once. 263 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,766 I was a DJ at a strip club. 264 00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,052 If you loved it so much, why aren't you still there? 265 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,837 Ah, apparently some of the strippers 266 00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:05,229 said I was making them feel "uncomfortable." 267 00:11:06,716 --> 00:11:08,459 Oh, hey, guys. Hey, where are you going? 268 00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:09,728 I'm going to spinning class. 269 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,496 I thought you were going to the Mets game. 270 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,998 Oh, it doesn't start till 1:30. 271 00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,966 Yeah, there's a ceremony for a peanut vendor 272 00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,618 who fell out of the upper deck. 273 00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:17,702 Pretty tough guy, though. 274 00:11:17,726 --> 00:11:20,489 He actually finished his shift. 275 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,623 I'm just gonna go to the gym 276 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:23,525 and then maybe a little "shop till you drop." 277 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,761 Charge it. Okay, I'll see you later. 278 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,296 Car? Yeah? 279 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,081 You look a little lumpy there. 280 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,649 Yeah, that's why I'm going to the gym. 281 00:11:31,673 --> 00:11:33,585 No, what do you got going on under there? 282 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,953 What are you wearing? Stop it. 283 00:11:34,977 --> 00:11:36,988 You friends are here. 284 00:11:37,012 --> 00:11:38,913 Oh, my God, you've got work clothes on. 285 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,892 You're sneaking to work 286 00:11:40,916 --> 00:11:42,894 on a Saturday. 287 00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,296 I can't believe you! 288 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,098 Well, I wouldn't have had to sneak around 289 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,266 if you had the decency 290 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,234 to go to that stupid peanut vendor's tribute. 291 00:11:49,258 --> 00:11:52,021 And after all the peanuts you've eaten. 292 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,523 Look, Doug, the only reason I was doing that 293 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,891 is because you've been so upset 294 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:56,992 that I had to work so much. 295 00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,260 I didn't wanna upset you more. 296 00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,794 That right? Yeah, but if my boss says 297 00:11:59,818 --> 00:12:01,279 I have to go to work on a Saturday, 298 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,414 I have to go. Okay, 299 00:12:02,438 --> 00:12:03,431 you didn't have to work. 300 00:12:03,455 --> 00:12:04,967 You wanted to work. Admit it. 301 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,669 You love your job. 302 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:10,873 Okay, yes, yes, I love my job. 303 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,624 I knew it! 304 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,626 I love the people, I love how I'm treated, 305 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,161 I love that I'm on the coffee list. 306 00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:18,764 I love everything about it. 307 00:12:18,788 --> 00:12:20,549 I don't even know you. 308 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,183 Why do I have to defend myself? 309 00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:23,718 I mean, I should apologize 310 00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,953 for being happy at work? 311 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,422 Yes, 'cause while you're at work, 312 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,023 I'm stuck here with your father, 313 00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,741 who by the way is now demanding a diaphragm 314 00:12:29,765 --> 00:12:32,694 for his nightstand. 315 00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:35,547 Look, I know I've been neglecting you, 316 00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:36,748 and I feel bad, 317 00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:38,951 but we're talking about my career here. 318 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,169 Career? Ooh. 319 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,837 Somebody's got a career now. 320 00:12:42,861 --> 00:12:46,741 Oh, Her Majesty the Queen has a career. 321 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,794 Queens don't have careers, moron. 322 00:12:49,818 --> 00:12:51,062 And you know what? 323 00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:53,064 It would be nice if you could stop for one second 324 00:12:53,088 --> 00:12:54,750 and think about me here. 325 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,717 But I guess that's just not 326 00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:57,475 a Doug Heffernan thing, is it? 327 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,189 So apparently my tartar 328 00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:04,315 doesn't need to be controlled. 329 00:13:08,303 --> 00:13:11,316 For your information, I was thinking of you. 330 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,402 Oh, really? How ya figure? 331 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,653 I just didn't want you to get hurt. 332 00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:15,654 You know what they say: 333 00:13:15,678 --> 00:13:18,524 Goals plus time equals heartbreak. 334 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,242 How would you know anything about goals? 335 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,426 I do, okay? Look-You know- 336 00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:23,128 You don't think I could've had a career? 337 00:13:23,152 --> 00:13:24,963 I decided not to. And you know why? Why? 338 00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:26,765 Because I thought it was more important 339 00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:28,089 to work on this. 340 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,742 Getting fatter? 341 00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,939 No, our relationship. 342 00:13:34,963 --> 00:13:38,510 Well, you've clearly done a bang-up job on that. 343 00:13:38,534 --> 00:13:39,845 Oh, okay, you know what? That's it. 344 00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:42,014 All bets are off. What is that supposed to mean? 345 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,215 I'll tell you what it means. 346 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,383 I'll stop working on this 347 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,750 and start working on my career. 348 00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:47,469 That's right, my career. 349 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,771 Getting that big promotion, moving up, 350 00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:50,639 making the big bucks. 351 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,441 How would you like that, huh? 352 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,648 I would love that. 353 00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:57,613 Oh, it's on, baby. 354 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,754 It's on! 355 00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:09,174 Sir, you-? You got a moment? Yeah, I know, Heffernan. 356 00:14:09,198 --> 00:14:12,311 The machine's out of Milk Duds. A guy's coming tomorrow. 357 00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:15,080 It's not, uh... It's actually not about that. 358 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,439 It's not? What is it, then? 359 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,327 Where is Doug Heffernan... 360 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,726 going? 361 00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,561 You're going to, uh... 362 00:14:29,585 --> 00:14:31,513 Brooklyn. 363 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:32,948 No, I meant in my career. 364 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,183 You know, I've been here like 10 years, 365 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,986 and I just I think I deserve the chance to- 366 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,771 To move up. 367 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:40,905 Heffernan, last week I asked 368 00:14:40,929 --> 00:14:43,908 if anybody wanted to apply for assistant supervisor, 369 00:14:43,932 --> 00:14:46,634 I believe that your response was, uh... 370 00:14:48,938 --> 00:14:50,782 You gotta-You gotta relax your lower lip. 371 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:51,806 It's, uh... 372 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:56,922 Doug, just-Just go get on your route, huh? 373 00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:58,323 Look, sir, I'm gonna level with you. 374 00:14:58,347 --> 00:15:01,593 I'm gonna need you to give me some kind of promotion here. 375 00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:02,784 Why? 376 00:15:03,885 --> 00:15:05,363 I had a big fight with my wife 377 00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:06,698 about her moving up in her job 378 00:15:06,722 --> 00:15:08,383 and I told her that I could too. 379 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:12,521 Oh, you really painted yourself into a corner on that one. 380 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,572 It doesn't even have to be big. 381 00:15:13,596 --> 00:15:14,973 Just something I could take home 382 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:18,694 and, you know, use to make her feel like crap. 383 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,313 Let me see. 384 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,281 Oh, well, you know, 385 00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:25,534 the union says 386 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,768 gotta get somebody to organize 387 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,169 the CPR and a safety program. 388 00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,706 See, that would be great. 389 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,991 Can it have a title? 390 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,216 Uh, uh, uh, how about safety monitor? 391 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:39,081 How about safety chief? 392 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,532 How about you get your ass in your truck, 393 00:15:40,556 --> 00:15:41,756 'cause I'm sick of your face? 394 00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:46,760 Safety chief. 395 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,561 Okay, tilt head back 396 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,620 and begin chest compressions. 397 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,825 Damn it, Alvarez, don't you die on me. 398 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:07,542 Oh, sure, there's no sex doll for me, is there? 399 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,177 Okay, Arthur, it's a CPR dummy. 400 00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:10,529 You don't fool me. 401 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,663 Look at that lifelike skin, 402 00:16:11,687 --> 00:16:14,222 those full, pouting lips. 403 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,569 Look, uh, Carrie's not home yet, 404 00:16:17,593 --> 00:16:19,421 so I sent out for Chinese. 405 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:20,172 Don't need it. 406 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,173 I'll be enjoying 407 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:24,209 a delicious Kobe steak, 408 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,045 one that you're not getting a bite of. 409 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,880 Okay, you know what? That's not Kobe steak. 410 00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:32,116 Read the label, you illiterate baboon. 411 00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:35,703 One hundred percent Kobe beef. 412 00:16:35,727 --> 00:16:38,096 Okay, you wrote that with a ballpoint pen. 413 00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,310 And you misspelled "beef." 414 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,650 You're still not getting any. 415 00:16:48,023 --> 00:16:50,435 Hey, did I come home a little early? 416 00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:51,753 No, I was just getting up to speed 417 00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,572 on my new I.P.S. position, 418 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,772 safety chief. 419 00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:58,043 That's right, safety chief. 420 00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,211 Really? Yep. 421 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,495 I'm in charge of everything safety 422 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,496 and first-aid related. 423 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,333 All urine testing goes through me. 424 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,168 All? Wow. 425 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,351 "Wow" is right. 426 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,153 I've been trying to get ahead for like a day 427 00:17:09,177 --> 00:17:10,254 and already I got this. 428 00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:12,847 I'm gonna leave you in the dust. 429 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,893 Look, Doug, I know you only did this 430 00:17:15,917 --> 00:17:17,562 out of spite toward me. 431 00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:19,197 But whatever the reason, I'm really happy 432 00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:20,699 you're trying to better yourself. 433 00:17:20,723 --> 00:17:22,207 I just hope you keep it up. 434 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,040 Kids, I was cutting the gristle from my Kobe steak, 435 00:17:29,064 --> 00:17:31,576 and I seem to have cut my thumb quite badly. 436 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,778 Oh, Dad, let me take a look- 437 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,163 Whoa, whoa, I will handle it. I'm safety chief. 438 00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:36,381 Come on, Arthur. Come on, Doug- 439 00:17:36,405 --> 00:17:38,222 Fine. 440 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,204 Okay, work this right out right now. 441 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,572 Let me see here. 442 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,474 "Burns, choking, lacerations." 443 00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:48,627 Where's cuts? 444 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,962 "Lacerations" is cuts. Hey. 445 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,298 Handling it. 446 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,490 Got it. 447 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,276 Okay, here we go. 448 00:18:02,631 --> 00:18:05,283 What are you planning on doing, Douglas? 449 00:18:07,069 --> 00:18:08,780 Okay, uh, let's see here. 450 00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:12,784 It says to apply bandage as shown. 451 00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:14,052 Okay. You have to disinfect it 452 00:18:14,076 --> 00:18:15,871 before you put the bandage on. Hey. 453 00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,156 Don't you have a team to lead somewhere? 454 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,158 Ow, you're making it bigger! 455 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,526 Would you-? Relax, okay? 456 00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:22,627 I'm just gonna get my tape. 457 00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:24,880 Just hold that right there, would you? 458 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:25,897 If I don't make it, 459 00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:27,932 the box under my bed belongs to a friend. 460 00:18:27,956 --> 00:18:28,956 I swear. 461 00:18:30,225 --> 00:18:31,570 All right, enough of this. 462 00:18:31,594 --> 00:18:32,971 No, I got it. Okay. 463 00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:36,030 I will handle it. Ah, crap. 464 00:18:37,466 --> 00:18:38,743 That's the wrong stuff, okay? 465 00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:39,945 It's the right stuff. 466 00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:41,947 Okay, if it's the right stuff give me some then, 467 00:18:41,971 --> 00:18:43,788 'cause I need a little over here. 468 00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,310 Hey. 469 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,691 Look, I'm sorry I stepped in down there, 470 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,193 but it's just-I didn't want my dad 471 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:59,197 to, you know, bleed to death. 472 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:02,834 But that doesn't mean you're not still safety chief. 473 00:19:02,858 --> 00:19:04,619 I'm no safety chief. 474 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,270 They wouldn't have given you that badge 475 00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:07,873 if you weren't up to the job. 476 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,357 They didn't give it to me, all right? 477 00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,260 I had it made at a Kinko's. 478 00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,478 All right, what can I do 479 00:19:13,502 --> 00:19:15,680 to get things back to the way they were? 480 00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:18,049 Hate your job. 481 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,669 Honey, I want to, but I just don't. 482 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,971 Why does this bother you so much? 483 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,273 It's just we've always been people who work 484 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:26,691 'cause we had to work. 485 00:19:26,715 --> 00:19:28,677 You know, we gave 40 hours a week to the Man 486 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,836 so we could spend the other 40 hours here, home, together. 487 00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,673 Doug, a week has more than- 488 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:37,619 Never mind. 489 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,504 Doug, just because I love my job 490 00:19:39,528 --> 00:19:42,324 doesn't mean I don't love my time here with you. 491 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,858 Yeah, but... 492 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:46,127 when you come home from a job you hate, 493 00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:47,745 being with me is like a step up, you know? 494 00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:49,998 Now when you come home you're like, "Hey, I'm home. 495 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,050 Oh, that's right. This place sucks." 496 00:19:52,074 --> 00:19:53,734 Come on, that's crazy. Whatever. 497 00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:55,086 It's not your problem, you know. 498 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,755 I'll have to get used to you coming home 499 00:19:56,779 --> 00:20:00,675 all happy and fulfilled and on the coffee list. 500 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,743 Doug, you're overreacting. 501 00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:05,180 I'll always love coming home to you. 502 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,382 And besides, being on the coffee list is no treat. 503 00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,450 They go to this really fancy Italian restaurant 504 00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:11,102 where the coffee's really bitter. 505 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,989 Really? I mean, the coffee's bad? 506 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,323 Yeah, really bad. 507 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,441 Wow. 508 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,209 I mean, coffee's the first thing you have 509 00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:19,844 in the morning, so if that's bad, 510 00:20:19,868 --> 00:20:22,970 that gets your day off to a crappy start, huh? 511 00:20:23,538 --> 00:20:25,166 Yes, yes, 512 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,702 a really crappy start. 513 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,338 That is too bad. Yeah, it's the worst. 514 00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:31,612 What else you got? 515 00:20:33,948 --> 00:20:36,927 Oh, one of the drawers on my desk sticks, 516 00:20:36,951 --> 00:20:37,928 so I gotta yank on it, 517 00:20:37,952 --> 00:20:39,598 and then the whole thing comes out. 518 00:20:39,622 --> 00:20:42,934 Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 519 00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:45,837 Oh, and then they hired this new guy. Really sleazy. 520 00:20:45,861 --> 00:20:48,440 He is always rubbing up against me in the copy room. 521 00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,431 That's awesome. Yeah. 522 00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:54,446 Listen, you're not just saying this 523 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,947 to make me feel better, are you? 524 00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:58,883 No, no, I mean, the guy is-Is a total perv. 525 00:20:58,907 --> 00:21:00,117 His hands are all over me. 526 00:21:00,141 --> 00:21:03,872 It makes me feel dirty and cheap and violated. 527 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:06,113 I love you. 528 00:21:30,837 --> 00:21:32,871 Works every time.