1 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,701 Are you sure you don't want to get that lobster cocktail thingy? 2 00:00:36,769 --> 00:00:38,703 I already ordered the clam chowder. 3 00:00:38,771 --> 00:00:40,305 So get both. 4 00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:42,808 I told you, in honor of my first paycheck in months, 5 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:46,011 I am treating, and I expect you to do some damage. 6 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:49,747 You do realize you're poking a hornet's nest here? 7 00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:51,867 I do. But we are celebrating. 8 00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:53,368 And listen to this. 9 00:00:53,435 --> 00:00:54,870 If you behave, 10 00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:57,539 I will take you to that stupid Chris Tucker movie 11 00:00:57,606 --> 00:00:58,974 where he plays a big baby. 12 00:00:59,042 --> 00:01:00,842 Little homey? 13 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:04,729 Wait a second. Just 'cause you're taking me out 14 00:01:04,797 --> 00:01:06,164 for a fancy night on the town 15 00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:07,465 you do realize 16 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:09,734 that doesn't automatically mean you get the, uh... 17 00:01:09,802 --> 00:01:12,103 Shma-Booty. 18 00:01:12,171 --> 00:01:14,656 Now, listen. You can either give it to me 19 00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:16,424 or I can take it. It's your choice. 20 00:01:16,492 --> 00:01:17,408 Here we go. 21 00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:18,493 Thank you. 22 00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:19,827 Careful. Bowl's hot. 23 00:01:19,895 --> 00:01:21,763 Ok. Um, guy. 24 00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:22,764 Yeah? 25 00:01:22,831 --> 00:01:24,232 Do you have any of those, uh, 26 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,918 crackers that are shaped like little baby oysters? 27 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,322 Uh, guy. 28 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:31,522 Yeah? 29 00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:33,925 Uh, it's a pretty big bowl. 30 00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:45,771 There's one of the girls I work with. 31 00:01:45,838 --> 00:01:47,055 Emily. Emily. 32 00:01:47,122 --> 00:01:49,274 Oh, hey, Carrie. 33 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,475 Hi! Hi! 34 00:01:50,542 --> 00:01:52,511 Uh, Emily, this is my husband Doug. 35 00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:54,712 And that's Emily. We work on the 40th floor together. 36 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:55,813 Hi. How you doin'? 37 00:01:55,881 --> 00:01:57,315 Oh, and this is my husband Peter. 38 00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:58,383 How do you do? Hi Peter. 39 00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,884 Carrie works for Mr. douchet. 40 00:01:59,952 --> 00:02:01,186 Oh. How's that going? 41 00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,431 It's going good. It's going good. 42 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,906 Although I wish he would ease up on the cologne a little. 43 00:02:04,974 --> 00:02:06,691 Yeah, it is kind of strong. 44 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:08,476 Kind of? You know, the other day 45 00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:10,812 I saw a fly land on his shoulder, 46 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,849 2 seconds later... dead. 47 00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:16,168 Hey, why don't you guys join us? 48 00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:17,669 We just got a nice big table. 49 00:02:17,736 --> 00:02:19,096 Oh, actually, we just got our food- 50 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,532 yeah, that's be great. Let me just grab this. 51 00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:22,390 No. Uh-huh, great, ok? 52 00:02:29,748 --> 00:02:32,016 Whoa, whoa! Guy, what are you doing? 53 00:02:32,084 --> 00:02:33,351 What? 54 00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,019 You're taking all the cheese. 55 00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:37,055 It came up with the chip. 56 00:02:37,122 --> 00:02:39,023 Yeah, 'cause you grabbed the nucleus. 57 00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:40,692 What? 58 00:02:40,759 --> 00:02:43,728 Every pile of nachos has one main chip 59 00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:45,847 that holds the whole thing together-the nucleus. 60 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,316 You don't take the nucleus. You work around it. 61 00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:50,351 You honor it. 62 00:02:50,419 --> 00:02:52,687 That's nachos 101, man. 63 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,958 Can I eat this or is someone gonna throw a punch? 64 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,444 Oh, hey, guys. 65 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,294 Hey. Hey. 66 00:03:00,362 --> 00:03:02,380 Honey, good news. Emily and Peter 67 00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,649 have 2 extra tickets to Mark Russell tonight 68 00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:06,318 and they want to take us. 69 00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:08,420 Who the hell is Mark Russell? 70 00:03:08,487 --> 00:03:09,855 He does these politically based 71 00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:11,690 song parodies. He's hilarious. 72 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,792 He's got this one about newt gingrich- 73 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,026 he- 74 00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:18,597 he totally rips him a new one. 75 00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,731 You know what? That sounds like fun. 76 00:03:20,799 --> 00:03:21,483 Let's do it. 77 00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:22,701 Really? Thank you. 78 00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:24,703 But we're supposed to go to Cooper's tonight 79 00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,247 to watch that ultimate fighting thing. 80 00:03:26,271 --> 00:03:27,739 You need 4 people to get a booth. 81 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,574 I got a chance to hang out with my wife 82 00:03:29,641 --> 00:03:33,011 and her new work friends, all right? Just back it down. 83 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,080 Love you. 84 00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:37,849 Love you, too. Lookin' forward to it. 85 00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:40,218 You do realize 86 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,554 you just went from 2 psychos fighting in a cage 87 00:03:42,621 --> 00:03:45,856 to a guy in a bow tie singing about inflation. 88 00:03:45,924 --> 00:03:47,793 Ha ha! I forgot about that one. 89 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,695 That one's great. Ha ha ha! 90 00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:52,507 Calm down? You know what? I know what I'm doing. 91 00:03:52,531 --> 00:03:53,842 Really? 'Cause from where I'm sitting, 92 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,701 you just got steamrolled like a cartoon character. 93 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:58,970 Look, Carrie just got a new job, and that's great. 94 00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:00,882 The bad news is, now there's a whole new building 95 00:04:00,906 --> 00:04:02,674 full of these Manhattan chuckleheads 96 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,342 she's gonna want to make friends with. 97 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,927 Oh, she loves that. 98 00:04:05,994 --> 00:04:08,313 "Oh, let's make new friends. Let's open up our world." 99 00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,515 You know what? I don't want to open up our world. 100 00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:13,018 I want to close our world. 101 00:04:13,085 --> 00:04:15,586 Build a dome over it. 102 00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:17,466 Well, if you don't want to meet any new people, 103 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,257 why'd you agree to go out with them? 104 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,426 Because Carrie can't know about the dome. 105 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,194 So what I like to do is... 106 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:25,830 Happily agree to go out with these people. 107 00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:29,200 And then let's just say, by the end of the evening... 108 00:04:29,268 --> 00:04:31,936 They no like Dougie so much. 109 00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:37,375 Oh, thanks for taking us tonight, you guys. 110 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,543 Oh, sure. 111 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,645 Mark Russell never disappoints. 112 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,982 I had no idea there were so many words that rhyme with bipartisan. 113 00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:47,419 Wow, I really love this house. 114 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,621 Oh, thank you. It's just a place holder 115 00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:51,222 until I hit the lottery. 116 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,224 Actually... I think I'm a place holder 117 00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:54,792 until she hits the lottery. 118 00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:56,811 Honey, you want to get some coffee going? 119 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,229 Oh, yeah, yeah. 120 00:04:58,297 --> 00:05:00,175 All right, you guys just talk amongst yourselves. 121 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:02,167 Ohh, what a great night, huh? 122 00:05:02,234 --> 00:05:03,501 Yeah, it was. Yeah, yeah. 123 00:05:03,568 --> 00:05:04,568 Yeah. 124 00:05:06,738 --> 00:05:08,840 Can I, uh, ask you guys a question? 125 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,175 Oh, sure. 126 00:05:10,242 --> 00:05:13,144 Is this a lot of hair, right here? Seriously. 127 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,866 'Cause some people say I'm hairy, 128 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:20,718 but I don't think I'm hairy enough, you know? 129 00:05:20,786 --> 00:05:22,887 Like, especially in the winter, the cold months. 130 00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,155 Yeah, what do you think? 131 00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:26,090 I, uh, I don't, um... 132 00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:27,925 I'm sure you're fine. 133 00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,404 You want to touch it? It's very soft. 134 00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:30,362 No. 135 00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:31,863 Go ahead. Seriously. Touch it. 136 00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,198 It's like a puppy, I swear. 137 00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:34,532 It's a little puppy. 138 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,368 Yeah. No bitey, no bitey. 139 00:05:36,435 --> 00:05:38,703 Uh... I don't think I want to do that right now. 140 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:41,706 You know, sometimes I think about shaving it all off 141 00:05:41,773 --> 00:05:44,675 and just stuffin' it in a pillowcase and sleepin' on it. 142 00:05:44,743 --> 00:05:47,095 Hey. There she is. 143 00:05:47,162 --> 00:05:49,013 I hope you guys don't mind. 144 00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:51,065 All I could find were these oreos. 145 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,051 Yeah. Um, actually, we have to scoot. 146 00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:54,219 Yeah. 147 00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:55,386 Come on, hang out. 148 00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:57,055 Yeah, I'm sorry. 149 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,474 I forgot the babysitter needs us home by 11:00. 150 00:05:59,541 --> 00:06:00,742 By 11:00. She did say that. 151 00:06:00,810 --> 00:06:02,510 Oh, ok. All right. 152 00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:04,612 Well, let's do this again, you guys. 153 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,364 Yeah, we'll check our schedule! 154 00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:13,671 That was fun. 155 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,239 Ok, I win again. You just scratched. 156 00:06:28,264 --> 00:06:29,900 Obviously you're not familiar with the rules 157 00:06:29,924 --> 00:06:32,258 of north European billiards. 158 00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:35,517 I can't believe you brought Arthur here. 159 00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,727 We needed a fourth to get the booth. What's the big deal? 160 00:06:37,751 --> 00:06:39,425 The big deal is, when he gets into a fight, 161 00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:41,450 I'm the one who's gonna have to stop it, 162 00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:44,052 and this is too damn pretty. 163 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,387 Who was light beer? 164 00:06:45,455 --> 00:06:47,489 Oh, that'd be me. 165 00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:48,808 Watching the old waistline. 166 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,343 Gotta fit into my bikini for the summer, right? 167 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,729 Right. And 2 Heinekens. 168 00:06:55,265 --> 00:06:56,899 Damn, that was rough. 169 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,795 Yeah, guy. A little tip when you try to pick up chicks- 170 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,255 don't make them picture you in a bikini. 171 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,841 Can I borrow some cash? 172 00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:08,068 No more money, Arthur. You stink at pool. Deal with it. 173 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,446 I'll play you right now for a million dollars. 174 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,232 You already owe me 8 million from pinball. Sit down. 175 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,773 I'm hot. 176 00:07:22,448 --> 00:07:23,775 Then take off your sweater. 177 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,445 Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? 178 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,515 Fine, then be hot. 179 00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:33,252 Ok, you win. Enjoy the show. 180 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,127 Do you want some help with that, Arthur? 181 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:46,031 I think I can take off my own sweater, thank you. 182 00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,705 Is someone gonna help me or what? 183 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,357 Come here. Come here. 184 00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:58,827 Give me that, 185 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,796 and... there. 186 00:08:00,863 --> 00:08:03,081 That was terrifying. 187 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,618 I'm gonna need a men's room pronto. 188 00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:09,404 Here are your wings. 189 00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:10,405 Thanks. 190 00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:12,007 Was that your grandfather? 191 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,343 Who, him? No, that's just some guy. 192 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,095 Oh. You know, so many people 193 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,597 take the elderly for granted, 194 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,966 it's really sweet seeing you take care of him like that. 195 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,833 It is? 196 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,485 Sure. It shows you have a big heart. 197 00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:25,120 I like that. 198 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,589 She likes that. 199 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,942 Ok, false alarm. 200 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,444 Oh, hey, there's the man. 201 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,011 Huh? Come here. 202 00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,781 You got a little, uh, shmutz on your face. 203 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,223 Oh, you're sick, Emily? 204 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,475 That's too bad. 205 00:08:46,542 --> 00:08:49,378 Hey, maybe it's from smelling Mr. Duchet's cologne, right? Ha ha! 206 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,113 Oh, ok, you gotta go? 207 00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:53,549 All right. Ok. Bye-bye. 208 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,984 Crap. 209 00:08:55,052 --> 00:08:56,769 What's the matter, babe? 210 00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,854 Emily and Peter blew us off again tonight. 211 00:08:58,922 --> 00:09:01,407 Really? That's weird. 212 00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,510 They said they had to go bird shopping. 213 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:07,779 Who goes bird shopping on a Saturday night? 214 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,216 Who goes bird shopping? 215 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,784 People like birds. 216 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,619 I almost got a parrot once, 217 00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,955 till I found out they live to be 80. 218 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,824 I don't need my pet outliving me. 219 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,442 I just don't understand it. 220 00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,944 I mean, I thought we all hit it off. 221 00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:24,946 How can they not like us? 222 00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:26,448 I don't know. I mean... 223 00:09:26,516 --> 00:09:27,949 There are people out in the world 224 00:09:28,017 --> 00:09:30,051 who don't like squirt cheese. 225 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:35,107 But we all gotta share this big spinning rock. 226 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,125 I mean, you were funny. 227 00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:38,460 I know they liked you. 228 00:09:38,528 --> 00:09:40,829 Well, that's true. I'm-I'm electric. 229 00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:45,300 Do you think it was me? 230 00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:49,054 No. 231 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,472 My God, was it me? 232 00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,307 No, no, no. You're fun and... feisty. 233 00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:53,809 What do you mean, I'm feisty? 234 00:09:53,877 --> 00:09:55,844 Like I came on too strong? 235 00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:58,096 Not at all. You didn't, no. I mean... 236 00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,164 Although... 237 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,449 No, no, no-what? 238 00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,984 It's nothing! What? Just tell me! 239 00:10:02,052 --> 00:10:03,252 Ok, you- 240 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,488 you remember at dinner when you... 241 00:10:05,555 --> 00:10:08,658 Asked the busboy, like, 3 times for lemons? 242 00:10:08,725 --> 00:10:11,494 I thought I saw Peter and Emily throw each other a look, like... 243 00:10:11,561 --> 00:10:14,096 "Ok..." 244 00:10:14,164 --> 00:10:17,349 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 245 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,211 Hey, I love it when you mix it up with the help, 246 00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:23,172 but maybe they're just not hip enough to "get" you. 247 00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:25,908 You know, it's their loss. 248 00:10:25,975 --> 00:10:27,269 I just thought this would be a great way 249 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,738 to open up our world a little bit, you know? 250 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,363 Yeah, but, you know, 251 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,698 we got a great world right here in queens, 252 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,534 with great friends who... 253 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:38,036 Love us for who we are. 254 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,007 You're right, honey. 255 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,811 Thanks, babe. 256 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,451 And all is quiet in the dome. 257 00:11:03,013 --> 00:11:04,146 Oh, hey, Emily. 258 00:11:04,214 --> 00:11:05,480 Hey, Carrie. 259 00:11:09,019 --> 00:11:11,787 I just got, like, 70 more. 260 00:11:14,524 --> 00:11:16,575 So did you guys end up, uh, 261 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,744 getting that bird or... 262 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:19,829 Oh, no. No. 263 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:22,080 We looked around, but we couldn't agree on one. 264 00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,181 Yeah, it's hard. 265 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,889 Emily, uh... 266 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,707 Can I ask you a question? 267 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,959 Sure. 268 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,711 Uh, did I do anything the other night 269 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,414 to offend you in any way? 270 00:11:38,482 --> 00:11:39,732 No, no. Not at all. 271 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,867 I know I can be opinionated sometimes. 272 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,669 I talk before I think, and I- 273 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,287 Carrie, I think you're great. 274 00:11:45,355 --> 00:11:46,521 Really. 275 00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:47,356 You do? 276 00:11:47,424 --> 00:11:48,440 Yeah. 277 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,310 Then you guys want to get together this weekend? 278 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,846 Yeah, um... I don't think so. 279 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,983 Ok. I mean, if you like me so much, 280 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,586 how come you never want to hang out with us? 281 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,938 Carrie... it's not you. 282 00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,158 Did you lift your shirt 283 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,360 and make them touch your belly hair?! 284 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,531 What?! 285 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:13,599 Did you? 286 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:14,849 I lifted my what and made who- 287 00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:17,285 I- I-i-i can't even follow what you're saying! 288 00:12:17,353 --> 00:12:19,655 You lifted your shirt and made Peter and Emily 289 00:12:19,723 --> 00:12:21,156 touch your belly hair! 290 00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:23,035 Oh, yeah, ok, yeah, and then I threw on a g-string 291 00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:25,795 and gave Peter a lap dance. Yeah. 292 00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,673 Oh, yeah, ok, Doug, what are you saying, Emily's lying? 293 00:12:27,697 --> 00:12:28,731 Why would she lie? 294 00:12:28,799 --> 00:12:29,799 Oh, come on. Yeah- 295 00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:31,967 I lifted up my shirt and I made them touch me. 296 00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,935 That's what I did. 297 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,137 Oh, God. 298 00:12:35,205 --> 00:12:36,638 10 years together, Carrie. 299 00:12:36,706 --> 00:12:40,142 10 years, you think you know a person. 300 00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:41,977 Unbelievable. Unbelievable. 301 00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:45,281 This-this stings a little. This-this stings... 302 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,733 All right, I-look, I know it sounds crazy, 303 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,001 but why would she... 304 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,169 I don't know, you know, 305 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,104 but maybe it's because you guys work together 306 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,522 and she didn't want to hurt your feelings, 307 00:12:54,591 --> 00:12:55,857 so she blamed me. 308 00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:58,493 It's all right. I'm a big boy. I can take it. 309 00:12:59,829 --> 00:13:02,047 Honey, I am so sorry. 310 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,016 No, no, no, no, no. No, you know what? 311 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,019 I'm sorry that you have to put up with people like her. 312 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,287 I just don't know what's going on with me. 313 00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,833 It's like I can't read people anymore. 314 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,491 Is it because I've been out of work for so long? 315 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:17,296 We can analyze this till we're blue in the face... 316 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,797 The point is, 317 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,732 it's behind us. 318 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,800 You know what? 319 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,301 You are right. 320 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,537 Screw Emily kornbluth. 321 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,055 Yeah! 322 00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:30,125 There are plenty of people at my office we could hang out with. 323 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,814 So how much would it take 324 00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,867 for you guys to get it on in front of me, huh? 325 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,917 May I? 326 00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:55,984 Thank you. 327 00:14:09,299 --> 00:14:10,649 Come on. We've all wondered 328 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,084 what human flesh tastes like, right? 329 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,888 So, seriously... You in? 330 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:37,142 There you go, big guy. How's that feel? 331 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,279 It didn't really hurt to begin with, but I'm not hatin' it. 332 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,847 How low could you go without feeling uncomfortable? 333 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,550 As low as the law allows, my friend. 334 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,919 Oh, I'll be back in just a second. 335 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,225 Hey, Kate, how's it goin'? 336 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:55,310 Oh, hey. 337 00:14:55,378 --> 00:14:57,279 Yeah. Just, uh, knockin' one back 338 00:14:57,347 --> 00:14:59,047 with my old pal Arthur. 339 00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:02,100 God, his own family keeps him locked in a basement all day. 340 00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,769 It's sad. 341 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:07,338 Damn it, I said I wasn't gonna cry about this. 342 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,084 Oh, yeah, but, you know, it looks like you and your friend 343 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:10,975 take really good care of him. 344 00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,511 What? 345 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,031 Yeah, I guess looking after him is a lot of work. 346 00:15:16,098 --> 00:15:18,416 It doesn't feel like work, though. 347 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,653 It feels a lot more like love. 348 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,388 I love you, too, Daniel. 349 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,290 Now, give me a nice crisp part 350 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,592 like desi arnaz. 351 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,361 What are you doing? 352 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,996 Arthur's hair was a little messy, 353 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,564 so I'm fixing it. 354 00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,600 Ok, leave him alone. This is my thing. 355 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:35,667 Well, now it's our thing. 356 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,002 No, it isn't. 357 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,714 Why don't you go away, all right? I'm doing his hair. 358 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,932 Uh, hey, look at the time. I gotta feed you. 359 00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:40,956 Here. Have a bread stick. 360 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,341 I don't want a bread stick. 361 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,342 Yes, you do. 362 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,776 Sesame seeds make my gums inflamed. 363 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,111 Hey, come eat. This way. 364 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,279 Hey, now stop it! 365 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,757 The two of you have been grooming me, 366 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,265 you've been feeding me... 367 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,501 Letting me sit on your lap. 368 00:15:52,568 --> 00:15:54,219 What gives? 369 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,954 It's just... 370 00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:58,123 It turns out women kind of like it 371 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,092 when they see us taking care of you. 372 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,245 So I'm only here so you can use me as old man bait? 373 00:16:03,312 --> 00:16:04,946 You make me sick. 374 00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:08,650 Now, finish my desi and then I'm outta here. 375 00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:14,956 Hey, did I tell you that Kelly's on the steering committee 376 00:16:15,024 --> 00:16:17,292 for Kirby's middle school? 377 00:16:17,359 --> 00:16:19,861 No, but back that story up, 378 00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:22,063 'cause I don't want to miss a thing. 379 00:16:22,131 --> 00:16:24,149 Come on, man. I'm in trouble here. 380 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,061 She's trying to make friends with this couple she met there- 381 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,385 George and viola. 382 00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:31,339 I need to know how this whole dome business works. 383 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,459 Oh, so somebody wants a little help from the master. 384 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,704 Yeah, yeah. Walk me through this. 385 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,229 How do I make these people disappear? 386 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,498 Well, the first thing you do is you go out with them. 387 00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,501 Ok, you be charming, and pretend you're having a great time. 388 00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:47,005 And when Kelly leaves the room, you make your move. 389 00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,306 What do I do? 390 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,141 Well, there are a lot of options. 391 00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:54,145 But I'm gonna start you off with a basic shirt lift. 392 00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:57,249 You mean like this? 393 00:16:57,316 --> 00:17:00,451 You know what? You don't have a ton of hair. 394 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,520 You might want to go nipple. 395 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:05,957 All right, fine. 396 00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:07,609 Anything else? 397 00:17:07,676 --> 00:17:10,729 Sometimes I like to throw in a crazy look, like... 398 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,417 That really works? 399 00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:17,302 I have yet to find a glitch in the system. 400 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:21,306 Everybody hates me, I hate them, and I am quitting. 401 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,540 That's it. I've had it. 402 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,261 And there's the first glitch. 403 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:34,452 Hey, babe. You're not really thinking about quitting your job, are you? 404 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,055 Yeah, I am. Ok? I'm looking through the want ads right now. 405 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,557 I refuse to work with people 406 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,335 that I have to beg to be my friend, all right? 407 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,161 I'm a very sweet and nice person. 408 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,363 They can all bite me. 409 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,031 You just had a bad day. 410 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,709 Hey, you know what? I know what'll cheer you up. 411 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,534 How about we grab some Chinese, huh? 412 00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:50,601 No, I'm not hungry. 413 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:51,870 Come on. We could make fun 414 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,772 of Mr. Chang's lisp, order some thweet and thour thoup. 415 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,859 No. You know what? I'm just gonna go to bed. 416 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,147 Look, you just got this job. You can't quit. 417 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,550 You know what? Find someone else. We'll go out with them. 418 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:05,467 No. 419 00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:06,828 It'll work out this time. I know it. 420 00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,470 Really? How do you know that, Doug? 421 00:18:08,538 --> 00:18:11,155 Because this time you won't yell at a busboy about lemons, 422 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,292 and I won't "lift my shirt." 423 00:18:15,711 --> 00:18:17,372 Come on. You work with, like, a million people. 424 00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:19,865 There's gotta be someone there we can go out with. 425 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,101 Well, I kind of know the news stand lady 426 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,602 that works in the lobby. 427 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:25,904 Perfect. There we go- 428 00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:28,674 me, you, news stand lady, Mr. News stand lady- 429 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,409 we'll all paint the town. 430 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,143 Ok. 431 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,012 All right? Now let's talk Mr. Chang's, huh? 432 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,181 Thweet and thour thoup, thethame chicken- 433 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,449 and anything else? 434 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,218 Thpare ribth? 435 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,554 That's my girl. 436 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,276 There you go, whitey. 437 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,946 It seems you had some marshmallow on your chin. 438 00:18:51,013 --> 00:18:52,180 You put it there. 439 00:18:52,247 --> 00:18:54,532 You want your 5 bucks, then shut up! 440 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,137 Just, uh, taking care of my old friend here. 441 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,143 Arthur, uh, we just came by 442 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,477 to say we're sorry. 443 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,613 Yeah, we didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 444 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,150 Buzz off. I got my own thing working right now. 445 00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:13,484 Wait-wait a minute. 446 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:16,054 You're doing exactly what you yelled at us for. 447 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,322 Doing what? 448 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,141 Never mind what I'm doing! Just look pathetic. 449 00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:23,311 He's using you because women are attracted to men 450 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,546 who take care of the elderly. 451 00:19:25,614 --> 00:19:26,831 Really? 452 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,767 Then I'm gonna call my Uncle Carl. 453 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,575 At first we just sold newspapers. 454 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:40,678 Then I got the idea to sell gum and candy. 455 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,348 Then I put in the chip rack, 456 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:44,849 and knock on wood, 457 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:48,753 next month we're getting a chap stick dispenser. 458 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,090 Wow. It's a good time in our lives. 459 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,192 Well, I'm gonna get some more coffee. 460 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,428 How are you guys? You ok? Cheryl? Dennis? 461 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,096 We're fine. Uh, good. 462 00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:02,000 Ok. Well, just let me know if anything bothers you. Ok? 463 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,618 All right. 464 00:20:03,685 --> 00:20:05,953 Hey, you guys ever play balderdash? 465 00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,707 The board game. 466 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:11,543 You make up fake dictionary definitions. 467 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,211 It's hilarious. 468 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:16,047 We're in a league every Tuesday and Friday. 469 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,549 Maybe you could join. 470 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:21,019 "If you love words, you'll love balderdash." 471 00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:25,457 Yeah. And Dennis here, 472 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,360 he always makes this incredible chili. 473 00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:30,345 It is delicious. 474 00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:31,613 No meat. 475 00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:33,715 All tofu. 476 00:20:33,783 --> 00:20:35,383 And... 477 00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,152 We get totally drunk. 478 00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,571 On fun! 479 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,879 Is this a lot of hair right here? Seriously. 480 00:20:47,396 --> 00:20:49,231 Hey...