1 00:00:34,984 --> 00:00:36,935 Hello? 2 00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,204 Oh, hey, Janet. 3 00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,222 Yeah, we got our tickets. 4 00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:44,342 Yeah, we can't wait to see you either. 5 00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:46,945 Uh, ok. It's your mom. 6 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:48,980 She wants to know if we still like corn chex. 7 00:00:50,349 --> 00:00:52,650 Uh, yeah. 8 00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:55,003 Yeah, that's a green light on the corn chex. 9 00:00:55,071 --> 00:00:57,906 Ok. Bye-bye, hon. 10 00:00:57,973 --> 00:01:00,509 Ok, that's the 14th call about our trip. 11 00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:02,721 You know my mom. She just wants it to be great for us down there. 12 00:01:02,745 --> 00:01:04,263 No, I know. I love your mom. 13 00:01:04,363 --> 00:01:06,081 I just wish she didn't have to work so hard 14 00:01:06,148 --> 00:01:08,449 when we come there. 15 00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:10,919 Hey, maybe this time we can take the burden off her 16 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:14,122 and stay in a hotel or something. 17 00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:16,991 A hotel. Interesting. 18 00:01:17,059 --> 00:01:17,992 Isn't it? 19 00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:19,137 Yeah. You know what else we could do? 20 00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:22,063 We could smack her in the face with a shovel. 21 00:01:22,131 --> 00:01:24,082 Would you just think of it for a moment? 22 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:27,452 I mean, we'd see your parents just as much during the day, 23 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,254 get in all that family goodness, 24 00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,832 and then at night we'd stay in a hotel. 25 00:01:30,856 --> 00:01:32,057 We have a little privacy, 26 00:01:32,124 --> 00:01:34,026 you know, without all their stuff 27 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:37,829 that makes us a little crazy. 28 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,932 Uh, what-what stuff? 29 00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:40,933 Doug, come on. Like- 30 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,385 like the fact that we can't leave the house after 8:00 31 00:01:43,452 --> 00:01:45,020 because they set the alarm 32 00:01:45,087 --> 00:01:49,590 and it's too complicated to teach us a 4-digit code. 33 00:01:49,658 --> 00:01:52,227 Followed by "pound." 34 00:01:52,294 --> 00:01:53,862 And once that red light is on, 35 00:01:53,929 --> 00:01:54,979 we are stuck there! 36 00:01:55,047 --> 00:01:58,066 Do you know in prison, they call that lockdown? 37 00:01:58,134 --> 00:02:00,235 So now staying at my parents' is like prison? 38 00:02:00,303 --> 00:02:01,402 No, because in prison 39 00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:05,056 you could actually flush the toilet past 8:30. 40 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,151 They're light sleepers, ok? 41 00:02:06,175 --> 00:02:08,243 And by the way, I'm not quite sure prison 42 00:02:08,311 --> 00:02:10,595 is the paradise you think it is. 43 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,857 All right, take your mother's feelings out of this for a second. 44 00:02:12,881 --> 00:02:13,899 This is about you. 45 00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:16,384 You're saying you would actually rather stay 46 00:02:16,452 --> 00:02:19,087 in your parents' retirement complex 47 00:02:19,155 --> 00:02:20,388 than in a beautiful room 48 00:02:20,456 --> 00:02:23,558 stocked with liquor and dirty movies? 49 00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,619 No! 50 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:35,831 But we can't stay in a hotel. 51 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,189 Ok? We just can't! 52 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,523 Look, Doug-ok, look, 53 00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:40,825 your mom will be upset for a minute, ok, 54 00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,294 but then she'll get over it, 55 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,729 and we're adults here! We're in our thirties. 56 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,298 We're allowed to do this. 57 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,450 It's like that time you finally realized 58 00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:51,469 you can have cookies before dinner. 59 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:55,239 You told me I couldn't have cookies before dinner. 60 00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,042 You can't, ok? 61 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,754 I'm just saying your parents aren't the ones 62 00:02:58,778 --> 00:02:59,778 who are stopping you. 63 00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:01,365 Ok, you know what? My head is spinning. 64 00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,458 If I go get a cookie right now, what's gonna happen to me? 65 00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:04,849 Doug... 66 00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:07,596 Please, honey, let's just do this this one time, ok? 67 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:08,770 We set the precedent. 68 00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:10,805 We never have to have this conversation again. 69 00:03:10,873 --> 00:03:12,324 I will dial the number for you, ok? 70 00:03:12,391 --> 00:03:14,269 Your fingers don't even have to touch the buttons. 71 00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:15,294 Please? Come on, honey. 72 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,611 Come on. I'm calling. 73 00:03:17,813 --> 00:03:20,198 All right, all right. Let's do it. 74 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:23,218 She'll be fine, I promise. 75 00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:24,752 Hey, mom. 76 00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,421 Uh, look, Carrie and I were talking, 77 00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:28,356 and we need to tell you something. 78 00:03:28,424 --> 00:03:30,575 Uh, we've... 79 00:03:30,642 --> 00:03:33,644 Kind of turned against the corn chex. 80 00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:41,152 You know what skill I realized I have? 81 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,021 I can tell who's doing the voice-over 82 00:03:43,088 --> 00:03:44,122 on any commercial. 83 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,425 And I'm not talkin' James Earl Jones for verizon. 84 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:47,992 All right? That's kid stuff. 85 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:51,129 I'm talkin' Lisa kudrow for aquafina. 86 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,631 Yeah, it's her. 87 00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:54,850 You wanna talk skills? 88 00:03:54,917 --> 00:03:58,553 I can always tell whether a dog is a girl or a boy. 89 00:03:58,621 --> 00:03:59,665 You mean, without looking underneath? 90 00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:00,882 Yeah, see, that's what makes it a skill. 91 00:04:00,906 --> 00:04:03,925 See, otherwise, it's just looking. 92 00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:07,612 Wow, I really missed these conversations 93 00:04:07,679 --> 00:04:09,180 when we were separated. 94 00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:12,333 What's her problem? She ain't got no skills? 95 00:04:12,401 --> 00:04:13,401 She's just mad 96 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,263 'cause I'm making her go skiing for a vacation. 97 00:04:15,287 --> 00:04:16,521 Oh, it's too damn cold. 98 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,840 Hey, when are you guys going on vacation? 99 00:04:18,907 --> 00:04:20,735 Next week. He's dragging me up to some lodge in Vermont. 100 00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:21,770 Yeah, it's gonna be great. 101 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:22,894 Fun for us and fun for them 102 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,864 to see what black people look like. 103 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,433 Um, Doug, come with me to the salad bar. 104 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,984 What? 105 00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,521 Come with me to the salad bar. 106 00:04:32,588 --> 00:04:35,790 Uh, I don't eat the salad when it's brought to me. 107 00:04:35,857 --> 00:04:38,326 Definitely not makin' a special trip for it. 108 00:04:38,394 --> 00:04:40,345 They have a taco section. 109 00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,080 Really? Mm-hmm. 110 00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:49,854 Ok, where-where's the taco section? 111 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:51,556 Listen, I lied, ok? 112 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,825 You lied? Ok, I'm a person. 113 00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:56,979 Doug, listen to me. Deacon and Kelly 114 00:04:57,046 --> 00:05:00,548 are going on vacation the same time as us. 115 00:05:00,616 --> 00:05:02,217 So? So if we talk them into going 116 00:05:02,285 --> 00:05:04,335 to Florida with us instead, 117 00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:06,171 we can't stay at your parents' house. 118 00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:07,549 They don't have enough room for us! 119 00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:09,407 We have to stay in a hotel! 120 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,642 You see? That way, your parents are not offended, 121 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,144 and we set our precedent, 122 00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:14,745 and everybody's happy! 123 00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:15,933 Oh, my God, they're looking. 124 00:05:15,981 --> 00:05:18,166 Get some salad, get some salad. 125 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,818 Ok, but Deacon and Kelly aren't gonna change their vacation 126 00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,264 just so we don't have to stay at my parents'. 127 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,089 I know. We don't tell them that part. 128 00:05:24,156 --> 00:05:26,874 We just say, "you know, we haven't all gone away together" 129 00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:28,610 since you guys got back together," 130 00:05:28,678 --> 00:05:30,244 how it's all about the foursome, 131 00:05:31,681 --> 00:05:33,108 Kelly doesn't wanna go to Vermont anyway. 132 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,816 She'll be all over this! 133 00:05:34,883 --> 00:05:35,967 This could work. 134 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,418 Hey, what are you doing? 135 00:05:37,486 --> 00:05:39,214 I- I don't know. I panicked. I went all baby corn. 136 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:40,966 All right, put some dressing on, put some dressing on! 137 00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:43,058 Ok. All right, let's do this. 138 00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:45,837 But don't sit too close to me, 'cause I'm gonna accidentally knock this on the floor. 139 00:05:45,861 --> 00:05:46,861 Ok. Come on. 140 00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,718 So, look at us, 141 00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:55,620 all four of us together. 142 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,722 This is great. This is great. 143 00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,624 I wonder what else we could do? 144 00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:05,029 You see? I told you this would work out. 145 00:06:05,097 --> 00:06:06,341 I guess your mother didn't take us 146 00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,399 staying at the hotel too hard, huh? 147 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,438 I said, "huh?" 148 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,009 Oh, my God! 149 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:20,645 I tried to tell her. I couldn't! 150 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,930 There they are! 151 00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:24,015 Hi, kids! Hi! Hey! 152 00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,351 Ohh! Hi! 153 00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,186 Hi, how you doin', dad? Nice to see you. 154 00:06:28,253 --> 00:06:30,421 Hi, sweetheart. Hi. 155 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,556 You kids look great! 156 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,257 Don't they look great, Joe? 157 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,392 Why aren't you standing under the chute 158 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,638 where the bags come out? What? 159 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:37,511 Now we'll be stuck at the other end 160 00:06:37,579 --> 00:06:39,130 of the carousel in Siberia! 161 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,131 Get comfortable, people. 162 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:41,310 We're gonna be here all day. 163 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,134 We're not gonna be here all day. 164 00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:45,737 No, we're not, because I'm gonna shimmy my way under the chute. 165 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,398 Doug, you see one of those sittin' around, grab it. 166 00:06:47,422 --> 00:06:48,740 I'm not coughing up 2 bucks 167 00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,476 for a glorified shopping cart. 168 00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,611 You kids must be tired. 169 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,956 We'll go home, we'll have lunch, 170 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:57,048 and then you can take a nice nap. 171 00:06:57,115 --> 00:06:59,784 Oh, by the way, good news. 172 00:06:59,936 --> 00:07:02,304 Costco was willing to swap the corn chex 173 00:07:02,371 --> 00:07:04,672 for the rice chex even-Stevens. 174 00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,758 Whew! Crisis averted! 175 00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,926 Yeah! Yeah. 176 00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:10,645 Isn't that your friend Deacon? 177 00:07:10,713 --> 00:07:13,164 Who? Which one? 178 00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,316 Right there, next to Kelly. 179 00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:17,312 I don't know what you're sayin'. 180 00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:19,737 I really don't. 181 00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:21,172 Um, here's the thing: 182 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,874 Yeah, we, uh- 183 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,009 we all decided to go on vacation together. 184 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:26,905 We know you don't have the room for all four of us, 185 00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:28,597 so we're just gonna stay at a hotel. 186 00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:30,164 No big whoop. 187 00:07:33,803 --> 00:07:35,753 You look so pretty. 188 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,794 Well, that was the worst car ride ever. 189 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:45,897 What? I don't think your mother took it that bad. 190 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,000 She refused to put on her seat belt. 191 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,136 She said, "what's the point?" 192 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,705 Ok, she was a little rattled, 193 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,039 but she'll get over it, ok? 194 00:07:54,108 --> 00:07:56,559 Honey, come on. Please just remember why we're doing this. 195 00:07:56,627 --> 00:07:58,794 I mean, look around. 196 00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:00,963 We are in a hotel room 197 00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:03,499 in Florida. Ok? 198 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,800 I mean, look at this. Look. 199 00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:08,170 We got a TV that swivels... 200 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:11,090 And some painting of some... 201 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,926 Mystical dolphins... 202 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,628 And when we get bored lookin' at that, 203 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:16,762 we can go downstairs 204 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,098 and have a little drink at cap'n Toby's. 205 00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:21,767 Actually, I saw that they let you 206 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,535 throw your peanut shells on the ground. 207 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:27,006 I've always wanted to try that. 208 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,842 You see? Now you're thinkin', honey! 209 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,710 Ok. So what do you wanna do first? 210 00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,078 Anything. Just name it. 211 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,080 Anything? Anything. 212 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,383 You'd watch a movie starring the rock with me? 213 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,736 I would love to. 214 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,991 Hey! Hello. Hey. 215 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,393 Nice hotel you picked. 216 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,595 Uh, the air-conditioning in our room? 217 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,797 Not working. 218 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,317 Oh, well, maybe you should call downstairs- 219 00:08:54,384 --> 00:08:55,945 and get another room? Yeah, already tried that. 220 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,921 They're all booked. 221 00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:01,357 You know where you don't need air-conditioning? 222 00:09:01,425 --> 00:09:03,058 Vermont. 223 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:16,472 I'm sure sometimes you need air-conditioning in Vermont. 224 00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:18,975 Yeah, I think you do. I think he's just exaggerating. 225 00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:20,082 All right, honey, come on. 226 00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,877 You pick a little snack from the mini-bar, 227 00:09:21,945 --> 00:09:24,246 and let's watch the rock 228 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,332 be a neurosurgeon who saves the president. 229 00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,917 Spring break 2004 is on! 230 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,796 All right, here's how this works, people. 231 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,521 I call your school, you pound a beer 232 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,457 and scream like hell! Are we ready? 233 00:09:54,944 --> 00:09:57,930 I can't hear you! 234 00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:00,066 That's crazy. How can he not hear that? 235 00:10:01,885 --> 00:10:03,635 I'll just turn it up a little bit. 236 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,736 There you go. 237 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,339 Michigan state! 238 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,811 University of Maryland! 239 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,347 Ok, well, 240 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:18,618 there's 9.95 I'll never see again. 241 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,154 Yeah? 242 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:29,561 You know where kids don't go for spring break? 243 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,397 Vermont. 244 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,472 University of Texas! 245 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,228 Honey, come on. It's not that bad. 246 00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:49,298 Look at it this way. We have our own disco in the room! 247 00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:51,100 Huh? Come on! 248 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,601 Shake that thing, baby! 249 00:10:52,936 --> 00:10:53,569 I don't really-do it for me, for me! 250 00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:54,863 You know I love it! You know I love it! 251 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:55,821 Come on, do it for me! 252 00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:56,822 Do it for me, do it for me! 253 00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,324 Come on, shake it! Shake that thing! 254 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,892 Shake that thing! Shake that thing! 255 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,394 Yeah! Yeah! 256 00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,795 I don't wanna, I don't wanna! 257 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,030 I- you know, I wanna relax. 258 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,581 You wanna relax? Ok, how 'bout this? 259 00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:08,361 How 'bout this? We just freshen up a little bit, 260 00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:11,253 we go downstairs, we tip one back with cap'n Toby? 261 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,088 Come on, let's freshen up. Come on. 262 00:11:13,155 --> 00:11:14,256 All right. 263 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,030 What happened? 264 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:25,234 There's a bat in there. What?! 265 00:11:25,302 --> 00:11:26,936 There is a bat in the bathroom! 266 00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,570 No! 267 00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:32,257 I'm sorry. Did you say no? 268 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:35,010 Doug, how can there be a bat in the bathroom? 269 00:11:35,078 --> 00:11:36,962 It's probably just a moth or something. 270 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,398 Ay-yi-yi. 271 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,300 Ok, um, 272 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,637 there's a bat in the bathroom... 273 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,539 And he's a big 'un. 274 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,575 Let's not panic, let's not panic. 275 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,110 I will just call downstairs, 276 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,279 and we will just get this taken care of right away. 277 00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:58,467 Yeah, hi. Um... 278 00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:00,235 We have a bat in our bathroom. 279 00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:03,339 No, it- 280 00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:05,341 no, I'm sure you get a lot of prank phone calls 281 00:12:05,408 --> 00:12:06,508 from the spring breakers, 282 00:12:06,576 --> 00:12:08,210 but I'm serious. We really- 283 00:12:10,413 --> 00:12:12,314 Okey-doke. 284 00:12:12,382 --> 00:12:13,415 What did they say? 285 00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,200 He told me to have another Heineken, 286 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,985 and he hung up on me. 287 00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:19,638 This is ridiculous. I'm going in there myself. 288 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,785 What are you gonna do with the hair spray? 289 00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:25,161 I'm gonna spray him, ok? 290 00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:26,645 Maybe it'll kill him. 291 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,147 Maybe it'll just freeze his wings out like that. 292 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:31,383 Wait, wait, wait! 293 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,502 Take these. Wear these for protection. 294 00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,658 Now the bat's gonna think I'm Elton John. 295 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,127 Look, just wear them, please! 296 00:12:58,177 --> 00:12:59,462 Did you get him? 297 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,213 I got him angry. 298 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,100 Piedmont college! Ohh. 299 00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:09,588 Will somebody please shake that thing 300 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,508 and get it over with?! 301 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:18,397 So how are things at your hotel? 302 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:22,734 There was a goat swimming in the pool this morning. 303 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,864 Doug's really enjoying that mini-bar, aren't you, honey? 304 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,155 What did you end up settling on? M&Ms? 305 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,468 What are you doing eatin' from the mini-bar? 306 00:13:28,492 --> 00:13:30,175 You can buy M&Ms at walgreen's 307 00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:32,210 for a third of the price! 308 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,189 I think I have some chocolate chips in the kitchen. 309 00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,214 I could put some in a baggie for you. 310 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,083 Oh, that's ok. Thank you. 311 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,618 All right. 312 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,353 You know, Kelly, darling, if you're tired, 313 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,088 you could take a nap in the guest room. 314 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,390 Somebody might as well use it. 315 00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,378 Your parents have a guest room? 316 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,463 What are you doing at the hotel? Save yourselves. 317 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,198 Hell, no, if we have to suffer, 318 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,133 they have to suffer, too. 319 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,986 Don't worry. We're not staying here. 320 00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:58,954 All right, whatever. Deac, here. 321 00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,372 Help me clear. 322 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,613 You know, maybe we should move out of the hotel and stay here. 323 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,316 No! I don't want to. 324 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,650 Well, I kind of do. 325 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,085 Uh, Doug, 326 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:16,222 let's remember why we're doing this. Ok? 327 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,023 We are setting a precedent 328 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,559 to stay in a hotel. 329 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,062 No one said it was gonna be easy. 330 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,447 You did. 331 00:14:25,515 --> 00:14:27,960 You said as long as we got Deacon and Kelly to come down with us, 332 00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:29,952 we'd be home free. 333 00:14:32,889 --> 00:14:34,923 What I just heard 334 00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:37,492 did not make me happy. 335 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,112 Oh, 'cause you're taking it completely out of context. 336 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,958 You invited us down here just so you wouldn't have to spend time 337 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,749 with your in-laws? 338 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,151 No. We invited you here 339 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,086 because we are a foursome. 340 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,622 Yeah, see, that's funny, 'cause what I heard 341 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,210 was that I'm not skiing down a Mountain 342 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,359 of freshly packed snow with the wind in my face 343 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,962 because you wanted to set a precedent. 344 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,114 And because we're a foursome! 345 00:14:59,181 --> 00:15:01,917 Why does nobody remember this?! 346 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,703 Kids, should I make something for lunch, 347 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,716 or have you made other arrangements for that, too? 348 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,073 You-you know what, Mrs. Heffernan? 349 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,242 If that guest room is still available, 350 00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,310 we'd love to use it tonight. 351 00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:14,379 That would be wonderful! 352 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,249 You've made me very, very happy. 353 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,262 Well... 354 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,464 Brunch was nice. 355 00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:39,671 Now, you ready for a little dessert? 356 00:15:42,425 --> 00:15:45,660 'Cause I'm gonna get on you like hot fudge. 357 00:15:45,728 --> 00:15:46,811 What is wrong with you, ok? 358 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,381 There's a bat in our bathroom! 359 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,716 And there's gonna be some lovin' in the bedroom. 360 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,786 Stop it, ok?! 361 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,888 Have you noticed anything that's gone on here?! 362 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,423 I mean, my mother hates us. 363 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,157 Our best friends hate us. 364 00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,676 This trip has turned evil! 365 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,895 Ok, and for what? What's it all for? 366 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,681 For the precedent? Ohh! 367 00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:08,233 Would you stop with that precedent! 368 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:12,520 I'm not even entirely sure what it means. 369 00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,740 It means sweet freedom! 370 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:15,835 Oh, my God, are you really telling me 371 00:16:15,859 --> 00:16:19,228 you can't spend 3 days with my parents? 372 00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:21,479 Let me fill you in on something. 373 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:22,748 I live every second of my life 374 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,116 with an old man who gets cereal 375 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:29,655 by digging his ape-like hands right into the box! 376 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,758 All right, you don't need to bring my father into this, ok? 377 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:33,825 Oh, don't I? 378 00:16:33,876 --> 00:16:35,877 This is a man who canceled our cable 379 00:16:35,945 --> 00:16:39,547 because they wouldn't pay him every time they ran the movie Arthur! 380 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,488 Come on, he's not that bad, Doug. I mean- 381 00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:48,924 no, you know what? That's it. 382 00:16:48,991 --> 00:16:50,092 What-what are you doing? 383 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,261 I'm packing. We're staying at my parents' house 384 00:16:52,328 --> 00:16:53,262 like we should've in the first place. 385 00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:54,979 No, Doug, we can't! Deacon and Kelly 386 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:57,249 are staying in their guest bedroom anyway! 387 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,078 That's all right. You know what? We'll sleep on the floor, 388 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,953 or we'll sleep in the bed with my parents. 389 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,971 God, my mother would love that. 390 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,259 So, you got your water, 391 00:17:08,411 --> 00:17:09,945 and here are some extra pillows, 392 00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:12,447 and I put some tangerines in your room. 393 00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:14,293 Now, they told me at the market that they were seedless, 394 00:17:14,317 --> 00:17:17,018 so if they're not, I wanna know about it. 395 00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,570 Everything's great. Thank you. 396 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,571 We'll see you in the morning. 397 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,741 Good night. How are you two doin'? 398 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,876 Great. Good. 399 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,595 I'm so happy you're here. 400 00:17:27,663 --> 00:17:29,631 I love you both. 401 00:17:35,905 --> 00:17:37,772 System armed. 402 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,410 Remember, don't open any doors or windows. 403 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:42,811 Okey-doke. 404 00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:53,706 It's still a little light out. 405 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,391 It's bedtime. 406 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,631 What are you doing? I have to pee. 407 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,483 Remember, don't flush. 408 00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:22,584 Oh, come on. 409 00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:25,203 Carrie, it's almost 9:15. 410 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,571 Just... 411 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,473 Pee in the tub. 412 00:18:34,564 --> 00:18:38,534 I am not going to pee in the tub, ok? 413 00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:39,662 I begged you to go after dinner! 414 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,319 I didn't have to go then! 415 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,598 Well, then, you know what, you lost your chance! 416 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,189 Fine. I'll hold it. 417 00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:46,985 No, I can't hold it. I gotta go, I gotta go. 418 00:18:47,009 --> 00:18:49,177 Whoa! Whoa, whoa. Wait a second! 419 00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:51,029 Look, the rec center down the hall 420 00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,157 is open till 10:00, all right? 421 00:18:52,181 --> 00:18:54,149 They got a beautiful bathroom. 422 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,718 What? Doug, we can't open the door. 423 00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:58,687 The frickin' alarm is on! 424 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,475 I may know the code. 425 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,327 What? 426 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,471 I heard my parents talking, 427 00:19:06,495 --> 00:19:08,897 and I'm pretty sure it's my birthday. 428 00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:10,058 Well, what are you waiting for? 429 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,666 Let's go! Open the door! 430 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,712 But you go out, you do your business, you come back. 431 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,570 No one has to know. Fine! 432 00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:17,506 All right. 433 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,408 My birthday's, uh, 434 00:19:19,475 --> 00:19:24,312 February 9, 1965. 435 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,314 What are you doing? I'm loosening up my fingers! 436 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,509 All right, come on. 437 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,284 Ok... 438 00:19:29,352 --> 00:19:31,836 That's, uh, 2... 439 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:32,604 Wait a second. That is my birthday, right? 440 00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,116 Doug, you don't know your birthday? 441 00:19:34,157 --> 00:19:35,657 I blanked out. Excuse me! 442 00:19:35,725 --> 00:19:37,092 Ok, come on. 443 00:19:39,629 --> 00:19:43,532 2... 9... 6... 5... 444 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,934 Pound. 445 00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:48,036 System disarmed. 446 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,388 Honey, I love you! 447 00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,990 I love you, too. Pee like the wind. 448 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,241 All right, all right. 449 00:19:53,309 --> 00:19:55,110 Intruder detected. 450 00:19:55,178 --> 00:19:57,279 Oh, my God! What's going on?! I did it right! 451 00:19:57,346 --> 00:20:00,448 Is everybody ok?! 452 00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:01,666 What happened?! 453 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,814 I saw the alarm switch off! 454 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,870 I hit the panic button! There's somebody in here! 455 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,422 Ma- 456 00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,634 there's nobody in here, all right? 457 00:20:08,658 --> 00:20:10,024 I punched in the code. 458 00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:11,543 Why would you do that?! 459 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:15,413 Oh, great. Now I gotta pay $25. 460 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,331 Everyone all right in here? 461 00:20:16,399 --> 00:20:17,682 Should I call the real cops? 462 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,051 Loo-no. 463 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,286 Everything's fine, ok? It was an accident. 464 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,682 Why would you fiddle with the alarm?! 465 00:20:23,706 --> 00:20:26,107 You know it's very complicated! 466 00:20:26,175 --> 00:20:28,944 You know where they don't fiddle with the alarm? 467 00:20:30,913 --> 00:20:31,863 All right, people, it's after 9:00. 468 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,599 Back to bed. Let's go. 469 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,155 I just wanted to stay in a hotel. 470 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,424 I got the food. 471 00:20:47,764 --> 00:20:49,365 You know, with the A.C. Working, 472 00:20:49,433 --> 00:20:51,400 I'm not hatin' being back here. 473 00:20:53,136 --> 00:20:54,136 Kell? 474 00:21:04,614 --> 00:21:07,916 Ok, girls, time to get those t-shirts wet! 475 00:21:24,301 --> 00:21:25,496 Kelly? 476 00:21:26,736 --> 00:21:30,005 Woman, put a damn towel around yourself!