1 00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:08,123 Oh. Come on, get in there. 2 00:00:09,191 --> 00:00:11,293 A little short. 3 00:00:11,722 --> 00:00:13,378 Aw! Nothing but pocket. 4 00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:15,647 On top of the key. Fade away. 5 00:00:19,818 --> 00:00:21,053 What are you doing? 6 00:00:22,068 --> 00:00:24,256 Just playing a little spoonerball. 7 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,724 In the pocket is one point, 8 00:00:25,791 --> 00:00:27,659 between the glasses and face-2 points, 9 00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:30,698 and in the mouth, that's your 3-pointer. 10 00:00:31,597 --> 00:00:34,866 And choking him to death, how does that factor in? 11 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:37,503 10-point bonus. 12 00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,438 Come on. Give it a shot. Give it a shot. 13 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,556 No. I'm not gonna throw food at my father. 14 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,425 What about that chicken leg last week? 15 00:00:43,493 --> 00:00:44,343 Ah, excuse me, 16 00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:46,711 he threw peas at me first. 17 00:00:46,736 --> 00:00:48,599 Come on. Let's see what you got. 18 00:00:49,294 --> 00:00:50,299 Ok, maybe just one. 19 00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:51,390 Ok. 20 00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:54,906 Ok, one more. 21 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:56,971 One more. All right. 22 00:00:57,039 --> 00:00:59,424 Ahh. No. You gotta- you gotta arc it. 23 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,593 Keep your elbows in, like that, just arc it. 24 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:02,694 There ya go. 25 00:01:02,761 --> 00:01:03,945 Come on. Open up, like that. 26 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,682 Almost. Ok, ok. 27 00:01:06,749 --> 00:01:07,749 Ok. Oh! 28 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:08,833 Come on. 29 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,645 So I wasn't dreaming. 30 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:20,762 Marvelous. 31 00:01:22,365 --> 00:01:23,412 Wait a second. 32 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,218 Where are the Dutch hookers? 33 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,311 Voilà. 34 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:13,615 You didn't tell me we were having cake. 35 00:02:13,682 --> 00:02:15,828 Yeah. I don't tell you about cake early in the day anymore. 36 00:02:15,852 --> 00:02:17,486 It paralyzes you. 37 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,937 Does not. Oh, come on. 38 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:22,908 Remember last time you were so distracted you rear-ended a school bus? 39 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:26,678 Ok, that was pie, so don't rewrite history. 40 00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,633 Ahh! This milk couldn't be warmer. 41 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:32,100 Yeah. The fridge is acting up again. 42 00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:33,602 That's as cold as it's gonna get. 43 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,555 Hey! Come on, man! 44 00:02:36,622 --> 00:02:38,757 I want to see if it's cold. 45 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,993 She just poured it out of the same carton. 46 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,728 The milk on the bottom is colder. 47 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:43,862 No, it's not. 48 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,031 Obviously, you've never been locked overnight 49 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,233 in a dairy storage facility! 50 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:51,003 Dad, will you stop? I haven't worked for 2 months, 51 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:52,882 so unless you have an extra thousand bucks laying around 52 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,306 to buy us a new refrigerator, please, just drink it. 53 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:03,631 All right, it's down. 54 00:03:03,699 --> 00:03:05,967 For now. 55 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,371 Knock knock. Hey, Holly. 56 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,540 Hey! Hey, Arthur, you ready for bingo? 57 00:03:11,607 --> 00:03:15,144 Indeed I am. What's with the kraut? 58 00:03:15,211 --> 00:03:17,046 This is my new dog shatzi. 59 00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,214 He retired from the police force, and I adopted him. 60 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,549 Police dog, huh? 61 00:03:20,616 --> 00:03:22,451 Before he starts barking, I should tell you 62 00:03:22,518 --> 00:03:26,655 I have a fair amount of contraband in my sock drawer. 63 00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:30,208 Oh, don't worry, Arthur. He's a bomb-sniffing dog. 64 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:33,946 He's a real hero, too. I met him when they busted my boyfriend. 65 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:37,550 So your boyfriend was making a bomb? 66 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,920 Soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, believe you me. 67 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:42,721 Ok, Arthur, are you ready? 68 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,281 All set. See you kids later. 69 00:03:45,306 --> 00:03:46,324 Oh, cute hat. 70 00:03:46,349 --> 00:03:47,349 Thank you. 71 00:03:47,374 --> 00:03:49,475 I found it in a leaf pile. 72 00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:52,631 Enh! 73 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:55,016 Oh, this milk is warm. You think it's dangerous? 74 00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:56,979 Well, I don't know, but your dad had his finger in it, 75 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,705 and it's the one he works his ear with, so... 76 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,538 He's in my dreams. 77 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,659 Hey, dad, what's up? 78 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,044 Big news. 79 00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:25,030 I was sitting next to Eleanor Melville at bingo tonight. 80 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,583 She's the lady who lost an eye in a sledding accident, remember? 81 00:04:28,651 --> 00:04:30,786 All right, he's goin' in the hamper. 82 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,454 Dad, it's kinda late. 83 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,523 Could you just get to the point? 84 00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:36,658 God bless her lucky glass eye 85 00:04:36,726 --> 00:04:39,344 because tonight I won the jackpot! 86 00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,197 Great. Take your 8 bucks and get outta here. 87 00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,866 Does this look like 8 bucks to you? 88 00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:46,534 Wow, how much is that? 89 00:04:46,602 --> 00:04:49,671 2,500 clams. 90 00:04:49,738 --> 00:04:52,858 $2,500? Oh, my God! 91 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,243 At first I thought I'd put it away for a rainy day, 92 00:04:55,311 --> 00:04:58,213 but then I realized, I got no mortgage, no bills to pay, 93 00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:01,216 so I figured it's time for A. Spooner to have a little fun. 94 00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:03,685 Starting tomorrow, I'm queen for a day! 95 00:05:06,656 --> 00:05:09,441 Well... good for him. 96 00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,431 What? 97 00:05:16,498 --> 00:05:20,368 Did you notice anything wrong with what just happened here? 98 00:05:20,436 --> 00:05:23,588 Other than his fly being open? 99 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:27,675 No. I'm numb to that now. 100 00:05:27,743 --> 00:05:29,678 I mean the fact that he didn't mention 101 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,080 giving us any of that money. 102 00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:34,282 Why should he? It's his money. 103 00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,001 Are you kidding me, Carrie? 104 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,970 I mean, we spend thousands of dollars on him. 105 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,171 He said it himself. 106 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,306 He's got no bills, no mortgage to pay 107 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:42,290 because we pay it, 108 00:05:42,358 --> 00:05:44,710 not to mention all the food, clothing, 109 00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:46,745 medicine, those 2 clarinets. 110 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:51,033 Well, that's what you do when a parent gets old. 111 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,470 I mean, he did take care of me until I was almost... 15. 112 00:05:54,537 --> 00:05:56,638 And, meanwhile, since you lost your job, 113 00:05:56,706 --> 00:05:59,240 we have not gotten one thing for ourselves, not one! 114 00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:01,996 Do you know every night before I go to bed, 115 00:06:02,021 --> 00:06:03,695 I look at this golf catalog, 116 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,330 but I can't get anything in here. 117 00:06:05,397 --> 00:06:08,299 So this means nothing to me! 118 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,354 The point is, I want a titanium fairway wood, 119 00:06:12,421 --> 00:06:13,755 and I want it now! 120 00:06:13,822 --> 00:06:16,103 And damn it, you deserve something, too. What do you want? 121 00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:19,127 You know what we should buy is a new refrigerator. 122 00:06:19,195 --> 00:06:20,629 Ok, so I'll get the golf clubs, 123 00:06:20,696 --> 00:06:22,781 and the fridge will be your thing. 124 00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:25,241 No. Why do I get the boring thing? 125 00:06:25,266 --> 00:06:26,885 Fine. Then pick something you want. 126 00:06:26,952 --> 00:06:29,053 I mean, the old fridge is fine. 127 00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:32,140 Right now, we don't need something to keep food fresh, 128 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,794 we need something to keep us fresh. 129 00:06:37,349 --> 00:06:38,624 Actually, you know what I'd love? 130 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,216 I'd love to go to that spa right next door to Bloomingdale's 131 00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:43,154 and get, like, a whole day of beauty. 132 00:06:43,179 --> 00:06:46,281 Yes! God, you need a day of beauty! 133 00:06:46,925 --> 00:06:48,276 Hey. 134 00:06:49,197 --> 00:06:51,492 You know what I mean, ok? 135 00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:54,609 All right. Well, you know what? 136 00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:57,515 Tomorrow morning, I will talk to him. I will tell him how we feel, 137 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,111 and I'm sure he'll give us some of the money. 138 00:06:59,135 --> 00:07:02,103 Great. All right, thank you. 139 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,782 And if that doesn't work, I'll just follow up 140 00:07:03,806 --> 00:07:06,424 with a lamp to the back of the head. 141 00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:09,444 Not to kill him, just to send a message. 142 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,513 What do you think I am? 143 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,740 Morning, daddy. 144 00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:25,444 Darling, I think I'm ready to make my first purchase: 145 00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:29,848 The world's best personal submarine. 146 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,549 What do you think? 147 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:35,970 World's best? With no periscope? 148 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:38,106 You're smarter than that. 149 00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:40,308 Speaking of that money, 150 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,811 it's so great to see someone in this house 151 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,746 have some good luck for a change. 152 00:07:44,814 --> 00:07:46,147 It certainly is. 153 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:48,349 Lord knows Doug and I haven't had any lately. 154 00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:49,517 That's putting it mildly. 155 00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:52,237 The thing is, um... 156 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:56,174 We have certainly helped you out quite a bit over the years. 157 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,159 How so? 158 00:07:59,578 --> 00:08:03,615 Well, we've given you food, clothing, shelter. 159 00:08:03,682 --> 00:08:07,002 Mm. I suppose you could put that spin on it. 160 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:10,706 And we were kind of hoping 161 00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:14,521 that you could help us out a little bit, you know, money-wise. 162 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,579 Oh, I'd love to be able to help. 163 00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:19,130 You kids have been like family to me. 164 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,617 What do you want? 165 00:08:21,684 --> 00:08:22,601 Half. 166 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:25,604 I meant, what specific items do you want to purchase? 167 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:28,006 I want golf clubs. She wants a day of beauty. 168 00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:31,376 Fair enough. I'll give your requests some thought 169 00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:33,595 and get back to you in a day or so. 170 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:37,766 But just to show my heart's in the right place, 171 00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:41,937 how 'bout we paint the town red tonight, my treat? 172 00:08:42,005 --> 00:08:44,506 Oh, we have plans tonight, dad. 173 00:08:44,574 --> 00:08:45,757 Do you? 174 00:08:45,824 --> 00:08:50,195 That's very disappointing. 175 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:53,915 Oh, you know what? We can cancel. No problem. 176 00:08:53,983 --> 00:08:55,917 Wonderful. I'll pick you up at 5:30. 177 00:08:55,986 --> 00:08:58,053 Dress is smart casual. 178 00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:47,152 Don't overthink it, dad. 179 00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:50,322 That's what got you into trouble back at the clown's mouth. 180 00:09:55,503 --> 00:09:58,055 That one was close. 181 00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:05,937 That one was close, too. 182 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:09,257 Be a pal. Shove this in my eye. 183 00:10:09,325 --> 00:10:10,858 Ok... now! 184 00:10:13,896 --> 00:10:15,063 Now! 185 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,879 Those blades are diabolical. 186 00:10:20,059 --> 00:10:23,840 Now. Now. Now. Now! 187 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,941 Oh... what are the odds? 188 00:10:28,911 --> 00:10:29,911 Now. 189 00:10:33,082 --> 00:10:35,266 Thank God. 190 00:10:38,496 --> 00:10:41,656 Last night was so brutal. 191 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,009 So when do we get this money? 192 00:10:43,034 --> 00:10:44,775 I don't know, but I should warn you: 193 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,428 He told me to keep Saturday open 194 00:10:46,453 --> 00:10:49,155 for a trip to the American doll museum. 195 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,717 Family meeting! 196 00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:52,384 What? 197 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,835 Calling a family meeting. 198 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,304 Grab your drinks and kindly follow me to the dining room. 199 00:10:56,372 --> 00:10:57,438 Chop chop. 200 00:10:59,341 --> 00:11:00,809 Come on. 201 00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:11,369 Please rise for the pledge of allegiance. 202 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:15,223 If you choose, you may omit the words, "under God." 203 00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:17,476 Get on with it. 204 00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:18,876 Fine. 205 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,878 First order of business, 206 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:23,698 vis-à-vis, the items you requested yesterday, 207 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,867 unfortunately, no can do. 208 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:28,704 What? 209 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,822 Dad, you said you wanted to help us out. 210 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:34,275 I do. I'm going to give you $1,000 211 00:11:34,343 --> 00:11:37,278 to purchase a new refrigerator. 212 00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:39,965 You know, I got a better idea: 213 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,616 Why don't you give us $1,000, 214 00:11:41,684 --> 00:11:44,135 and we'll decide what we want to do with it, ok? 215 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,738 Oh, to be young and witless. 216 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,675 Douglas, trust me, you don't get to my position 217 00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:52,310 by throwing away money on frivolous things. 218 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,379 You wanted to buy a submarine. 219 00:11:54,446 --> 00:11:57,499 Hey! When the only way out of the city is through the sewers, 220 00:11:57,566 --> 00:12:00,035 you'll be begging to get in. 221 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:14,149 I hate this. 222 00:12:14,223 --> 00:12:15,957 What? It's not like we're getting nothing. 223 00:12:16,019 --> 00:12:19,320 I mean, the man is buying us a new refrigerator. 224 00:12:19,388 --> 00:12:20,699 That's not the point. Just 'cause he 225 00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:23,125 stumbled onto some money like Jed Clampett, 226 00:12:23,193 --> 00:12:25,271 doesn't give him the right to tell us what to do with it. 227 00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:26,528 This one looks nice. 228 00:12:26,595 --> 00:12:29,231 Oh, and look how big the crispers are. 229 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,634 Hey, don't knock crispers. 230 00:12:32,702 --> 00:12:36,171 That's where I hide the vegetables so they won't upset you. 231 00:12:36,239 --> 00:12:36,988 Fine. You know what? 232 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:38,483 Let's just get it and get outta here. 233 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,659 Oh, look! Look it's only 995. 234 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,861 We can tell my dad it cost the full thousand, 235 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:47,399 and then we got 5 bucks left to par-tay. 236 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,535 What? 237 00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,337 Look, I really don't feel right 238 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,439 about lying to my dad. 239 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,940 Look, we are not lying, ok? 240 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:59,027 We told him we were going to buy a refrigerator, and we did. 241 00:12:59,062 --> 00:13:01,540 The fact that we bought it from a queens college student who was moving out of his dorm, 242 00:13:01,564 --> 00:13:04,282 that's our business. 243 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:07,820 Do you think he's gonna believe that this cost $1,000? 244 00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:12,190 Carrie, the man thinks I control the TV with my voice. 245 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:13,992 Everybody wins this way, all right? 246 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,237 Your dad feels like a big shot, 247 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,579 we get a temporary fridge for 68 bucks, 248 00:13:17,646 --> 00:13:22,233 and with the leftover change, new golf clubs and a day at the spa for you. 249 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:26,872 Oh, look at this. Kenny's mom made meat loaf. 250 00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,023 Mine now. 251 00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:33,078 Hey, dad. How was your walk? 252 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:37,382 Not so good. Turns out the double-Dutch kids don't appreciate heckling. 253 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:41,653 Is this the new refrigerator? 254 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,555 Yeah. 255 00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,826 It's magnificent! 256 00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:52,264 Amazing how small they can make things these days. 257 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:55,033 God bless those Japanese. 258 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,312 That was great today. 259 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,344 We were hittin' 'em pretty hard, huh? 260 00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:10,348 Oh, but you like it rough, don't ya? 261 00:14:10,373 --> 00:14:11,628 Oh, yes, you doo-be doo-be doo! 262 00:14:11,653 --> 00:14:13,954 I am back from the spa. 263 00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:15,987 How do I look? 264 00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:17,456 Fantastic. 265 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,693 Soon as I'm done fondling my new club, you're next. 266 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:25,297 My massage was amazing. 267 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,632 I had this Russian guy, Yuri. 268 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,769 He had these huge hands, and he found every knot in my body. 269 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:36,007 Not a whole lot of yap yap, you know? 270 00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:38,660 Just every couple of "is good?" 271 00:14:38,727 --> 00:14:40,829 Is good?" 272 00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:42,664 By the way, that's all you need to say 273 00:14:42,731 --> 00:14:46,418 when we're, you know, upstairs. 274 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:49,838 So no more Mighty Mouse theme? 275 00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:51,924 So, those the new clubs? 276 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,125 Yeah. They're awesome. 277 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:55,304 Look at the size of that driver. 278 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,928 It's as big as a baby's head. 279 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,931 Yeah. It's beautiful. You deserve 'em. 280 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,567 Yeah, um... 281 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,268 The only problem is, uh... 282 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,604 I got these great new woods, 283 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,640 but I still have the same old crappy irons. 284 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,008 They're fine. 285 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,810 No, they're not. I mean, it's- 286 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,446 it's like if you got a day of beauty 287 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,209 for only half your face, 288 00:15:16,319 --> 00:15:18,903 and they left the other side lookin' all... 289 00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:21,335 Tired and yellow. 290 00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:23,004 What are you gettin' at here, Doug? 291 00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,083 Just maybe we could ask your dad for some more money 292 00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:26,841 so I could complete my set here. 293 00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:29,294 What? We can't scam him again. 294 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,506 It's a few hundred. That's not even a scam. 295 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,464 That's pullin' a fast one. 296 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:36,401 Doug, believe me, don't think I haven't thought about it, ok? 297 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,736 They sell this thing at the spa 298 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:40,672 that turns your bathtub into a whirlpool. 299 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,240 You don't think I would kill for that? 300 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,543 But lying to him again is just wrong. 301 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,644 Wrong... 302 00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:48,263 Or very right? 303 00:15:48,331 --> 00:15:49,630 Wrong. 304 00:15:59,976 --> 00:16:01,977 Get out of here. I'm naked. 305 00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:05,547 Why is that water bubbling? 306 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,934 It's really hot? 307 00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:12,971 I cannot believe you! 308 00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,066 After you give me that whole speech on how wrong this is, 309 00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:16,875 you go out and buy this?! 310 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:19,077 But it bubbles. 311 00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:22,397 How could you? 312 00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:26,267 It's just that your golf clubs are forever, 313 00:16:26,335 --> 00:16:28,469 and my spa day is gone, 314 00:16:28,537 --> 00:16:30,572 so I figured, it's only fair, you know? 315 00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:32,490 How did you get your dad to give you the money? 316 00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,760 Well, you know how our clock radio's been broken? 317 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,494 Gave me $200 to get a new one. 318 00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:39,397 200? I got that free when I ordered sports illustrated. 319 00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,733 Hey, I was only shooting for 100, 320 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,002 but then he started talking about transistors 321 00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:45,904 and how clever those Japanese are. 322 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,072 I just went with it. 323 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,257 And you made me feel bad about wanting more? 324 00:16:49,324 --> 00:16:50,692 Oh, it's on, baby. 325 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:51,926 Where are you going? 326 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,845 Oh, we got a house full of appliances, 327 00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,847 and one's about to go down. 328 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,270 Oh, yeah. 329 00:17:02,338 --> 00:17:03,405 All right. 330 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:09,344 Doug, no! Not the DVD player! 331 00:17:09,412 --> 00:17:14,098 Carrie, this is a machine that uses lasers to play movies from shiny disks. 332 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,067 I could tell him it cost a million dollars. 333 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:19,537 Doug, no! This has to stop. 334 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,682 Why should it stop, Carrie? 335 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,591 What, am I beating you to the punch? 336 00:17:22,658 --> 00:17:25,827 What, you got your eye on something that'll make the toilet bubble, too? 337 00:17:25,894 --> 00:17:26,495 Yeah? 338 00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:28,180 Shh! Holly's here. 339 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,447 Yeah, I'm still here. 340 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,248 Hi. 341 00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:31,866 Hey, hey. Yeah, go ahead. 342 00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:35,036 $800? I don't have that kind of money. 343 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,487 Oh, this isn't good. 344 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,222 What? What? 345 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,574 She needs money. 346 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,561 And who do you think she's gonna try to get it from? My dad. 347 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,873 What do you care? You said you were done getting money from him. 348 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,648 Not if she's gonna get it instead. 349 00:17:47,716 --> 00:17:50,435 If someone is gonna scam my dad, 350 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:54,171 it should at least be someone who loves him. 351 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,274 What does she need the money for anyway? 352 00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,725 She finally got that bill 353 00:17:57,793 --> 00:18:00,128 for that blonde they pumped into her hair? 354 00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:02,341 Don't worry. Your dad probably won't give her the money anyway. 355 00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:04,416 Oh, he will, the way she kisses his butt. 356 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,818 "Oh, Arthur, you look so cute in that hat." 357 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:09,287 You saw him. He looked like a 90-year-old gilligan. 358 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:18,513 By the way, so does the real gilligan. 359 00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,381 All right, you know what? 360 00:18:19,448 --> 00:18:20,799 Just break the frickin' thing. 361 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,343 We've gotta get that money. All right, now, 362 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,369 I'm gonna get the money, and you keep Holly busy, ok? 363 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:26,548 All right, come on. Hurry up! Hurry up! 364 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,406 All right. 365 00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:32,811 Uh-huh. Ok, well, I'll just try to figure something out 366 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,379 and I'll get back to you. 367 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,048 Thanks. 368 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,083 Hey, what you got there... 369 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:40,419 Sweater? 370 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,523 Sweaters are great, 371 00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:47,926 but, ironically, they don't handle sweat that well. 372 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,183 They're very warm, though. 373 00:18:57,419 --> 00:18:59,220 What's wrong? 374 00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:02,123 My new dog shatzi needs an operation, 375 00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:04,525 and I can't afford it. 376 00:19:07,696 --> 00:19:10,031 Turns out, all the stress from working on the bomb squad 377 00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:11,366 weakened his heart, 378 00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:13,368 and now there's some kind of valve ripping, 379 00:19:13,435 --> 00:19:15,103 and if he doesn't get the operation, 380 00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:16,737 he's gonna be in so much pain, 381 00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,273 they're gonna put him down. 382 00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:22,710 Well, he had a good run. He... 383 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,445 Had a full life. 384 00:19:24,513 --> 00:19:27,281 He's 4. 385 00:19:27,349 --> 00:19:30,418 Yeah, but that's 28 in human years. 386 00:19:30,485 --> 00:19:32,420 That's when I started fallin' apart. 387 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,557 And the sad thing is, he doesn't even know it. 388 00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,961 You know, he's just this sweet lovable guy 389 00:19:40,029 --> 00:19:42,831 who just wants to kiss you and be with you. 390 00:19:42,898 --> 00:19:48,870 I mean, he spent his entire life saving people. 391 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,505 And now there's no one there to save him. 392 00:19:53,843 --> 00:19:55,977 We gotta give the money to Holly. 393 00:19:56,045 --> 00:19:58,029 What?! Why?! 394 00:19:58,096 --> 00:20:02,100 Because if we don't, we're gonna spend eternity swimming in a lake of fire. 395 00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:07,339 Both of us? 396 00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,273 Give me this. 397 00:20:26,208 --> 00:20:27,475 Hey... dad? 398 00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:29,009 What's up? 399 00:20:29,077 --> 00:20:30,311 Guess what. 400 00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:32,547 I won at bingo again. 401 00:20:32,614 --> 00:20:34,398 Really? How much? 402 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:35,700 11 bucks. 403 00:20:35,725 --> 00:20:37,993 Family meeting. Chop chop.