1
00:00:07,056 --> 00:00:08,791
Whoa. Where are you going?

2
00:00:08,859 --> 00:00:10,409
I have to put a
load of laundry in.

3
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,444
No. No. We're in the
perfect position.

4
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,832
I can see the TV.
You can breathe.

5
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,281
That never happens.

6
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,915
Look, Doug, I'll do the wash,

7
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:19,128
and then we'll get right back
the way we were, I promise.

8
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:22,321
You're-you're dreaming.
It'll never be the same.

9
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,256
I have to do this, ok?

10
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,335
It's the beginning of the
work week, and once again,

11
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:31,129
your underpants have
me against the ropes.

12
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,165
And I appreciate the effort,

13
00:00:33,232 --> 00:00:35,434
but right now, I'm comfy.

14
00:00:37,754 --> 00:00:38,888
Shh-shh-Doug!

15
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:41,156
Easy. Easy. Easy.

16
00:00:41,224 --> 00:00:43,592
You see, the more you
struggle, the more I squeeze.

17
00:00:43,659 --> 00:00:44,693
I'm like an anaconda.

18
00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:46,561
Ok! All right! Ok!

19
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,662
A few more minutes.

20
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,331
All right.

21
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,605
That's my hot pocket.
It has to be rotated.

22
00:00:56,672 --> 00:00:58,440
Excuse me.

23
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:40,015
Seriously, is our mailman
a boy or a girl?

24
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:43,285
Because I'm leaning
towards boy again.

25
00:01:43,352 --> 00:01:44,996
- You know what? I.
- I really can't focus on that right now,

26
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:48,657
'cause I'm still sitting
here with dry cocoa puffs.

27
00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:50,292
My dad's not back
with the milk yet?

28
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,893
The market's 3 blocks away,

29
00:01:51,961 --> 00:01:53,105
and now we're coming up on...

30
00:01:53,129 --> 00:01:55,464
An hour and a half.

31
00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,451
Are you sure you don't
want to try the skim milk?

32
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:05,156
Just trying to think
outside the box.

33
00:02:05,224 --> 00:02:06,541
Where the hell is he?

34
00:02:06,609 --> 00:02:09,049
I don't know. Do you think something
could've happened to him?

35
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:14,266
Doug! No, nothing happened.

36
00:02:15,284 --> 00:02:16,902
I'm back.

37
00:02:16,969 --> 00:02:18,280
All right, well,
where's the milk?

38
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,471
Oh, I've got something

39
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:22,174
much better than milk.

40
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:31,083
A ping-pong table!

41
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,350
Dad, what happened?

42
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,352
Well, I was halfway
to the market

43
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:37,189
when I came upon the
betchers' garage sale.

44
00:02:37,256 --> 00:02:39,458
Luckily, Douglas
had given me a 50,

45
00:02:39,525 --> 00:02:41,560
and this little honey

46
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:46,131
was calling to me
like a French whore.

47
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,201
Ok. You know what?
Hold his legs,

48
00:02:49,268 --> 00:02:52,738
'cause I'm gonna milk him.

49
00:02:55,558 --> 00:02:58,410
Oh, hey, did you hear
that Denise got promoted

50
00:02:58,561 --> 00:03:00,129
at the bowling alley?

51
00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:00,863
Oh, yeah? Yeah.

52
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,347
That's great.

53
00:03:02,414 --> 00:03:05,200
You know, with her, uh,
making more money,

54
00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:08,070
we can finally afford to
get a nice place together,

55
00:03:08,137 --> 00:03:09,771
and I can...

56
00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:11,840
Finally ask the big question.

57
00:03:11,908 --> 00:03:13,675
What? "Can I touch 'em?"

58
00:03:14,744 --> 00:03:17,429
Anyway, I'm going to go
surprise her at work.

59
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,531
- See you later.
- And this was fun. All right.

60
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,734
I see the table has
quickly become

61
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:25,436
the recreational hub
of the neighborhood.

62
00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:27,172
It's something to do.

63
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,539
So...

64
00:03:28,607 --> 00:03:30,809
You up for a game?

65
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,644
You want to play me?

66
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,212
I should warn you.

67
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,415
Of all miniature paddle games,

68
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:39,084
this is my forte.

69
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,919
I'll take my chances.

70
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,222
Here. You can serve.

71
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,311
Ok, gramps, any way we can speed
things up here a little bit?

72
00:04:23,379 --> 00:04:24,613
All righty.

73
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,020
That's 11-zip.

74
00:04:32,088 --> 00:04:34,399
You didn't even get the paddle
off your shoulder that game.

75
00:04:34,423 --> 00:04:36,007
You're not better than me, ok?

76
00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:38,443
I just keep losing the ball
in the white of your legs.

77
00:04:38,628 --> 00:04:40,095
Oh, no. You're soft from playing

78
00:04:40,163 --> 00:04:42,864
in your cozy,
shag-carpeted rec rooms.

79
00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:44,966
I learned ping-pong
on the streets!

80
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,135
You either got good or you died!

81
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,921
Just serve.

82
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:55,493
Wasn't ready.

83
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,222
Ok, fellas, that's 2
bud lights and nachos,

84
00:05:07,289 --> 00:05:10,158
so, that's... 9.70.

85
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,292
Out of 10.

86
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,295
Keep it.

87
00:05:13,362 --> 00:05:15,430
Thanks!

88
00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:19,434
Oh, hi! Hey, sweetums.

89
00:05:19,502 --> 00:05:21,903
Um, is this the big promotion

90
00:05:21,971 --> 00:05:23,137
you were telling me about?

91
00:05:23,205 --> 00:05:24,416
You're a cocktail waitress now?

92
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,091
Yeah. It all happened so fast.

93
00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:29,278
It doesn't even seem real to me.

94
00:05:29,345 --> 00:05:31,046
Hey, what's the matter?

95
00:05:31,114 --> 00:05:31,930
I don't know. I mean,

96
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,315
are you sure this is
such a good idea?

97
00:05:34,383 --> 00:05:36,184
Yeah. Why not?

98
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:41,123
Well, I-strange
men and liquor...

99
00:05:41,191 --> 00:05:42,657
Quick-draw lotto machine.

100
00:05:42,725 --> 00:05:45,527
This is a faster lifestyle
than you're used to.

101
00:05:45,594 --> 00:05:48,463
Honey, if you don't
want me to do this,

102
00:05:48,531 --> 00:05:51,233
then I won't, but the only
reason I took this job

103
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,200
was so I could make enough money

104
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,636
to start a real life with my...

105
00:05:54,703 --> 00:05:57,639
Midnight swordsman.

106
00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:01,793
Hey, sweetheart, where
are those hot wings?

107
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,163
So, what do you think?

108
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,968
I think you've got
some hot wings to get.

109
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,438
Yeah. How do you
like that, old man?

110
00:06:30,506 --> 00:06:31,633
What? Are you gettin' scared?

111
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,124
You getting scared?

112
00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:35,994
Um... I am.

113
00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:37,429
Hey.

114
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:38,680
What's going on, baby?

115
00:06:38,748 --> 00:06:40,415
If I could just develop
a killer serve,

116
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:41,894
he'll never have a
chance to do his slam.

117
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:44,052
That's all the old man's got.
That's it!

118
00:06:44,119 --> 00:06:44,903
That's what this is about,

119
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,321
my dad beating you at ping-pong?

120
00:06:47,389 --> 00:06:48,657
Yeah. It's very annoying.

121
00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:50,804
How can I be beat by anybody
who eats soup like this?

122
00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:55,714
Doug, what does it matter?

123
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,049
I mean, you're
bigger and smarter

124
00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:01,186
and live in the above ground
part of the house.

125
00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:04,356
Can't you just let him
have this one thing?

126
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,224
Come on, just play with me.
Practice. Come on.

127
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,029
Fine.

128
00:07:27,296 --> 00:07:28,613
Can we stop now?

129
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,031
Let's just finish this rally.

130
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,537
Ok.

131
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:40,192
Come on!

132
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:42,527
Look alive!

133
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:43,779
This is really fun,

134
00:07:43,846 --> 00:07:45,897
but I think I should be going.

135
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,949
All right. Would you
Al least hit one back?

136
00:07:48,017 --> 00:07:49,801
Will you stop?!

137
00:07:49,868 --> 00:07:52,771
This is just like
dodge ball all over again!

138
00:07:55,941 --> 00:07:57,559
What's the matter with her?

139
00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,861
I don't know. She's
just a mess in general.

140
00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:02,313
Hey. How's your shoulder?

141
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,983
You hit the car pretty hard
on my last slam there.

142
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,018
It's fine.

143
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,314
Well, just cover it up
before you go to work.

144
00:08:08,338 --> 00:08:10,218
I don't want people to
think I smack you around.

145
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,444
Ok.

146
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,403
Hello, Douglas. Hey.

147
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:28,073
Or should I call
you "soft serve"?

148
00:08:29,359 --> 00:08:30,675
You see the double meaning?

149
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:32,778
You clearly love
your soft ice cream,

150
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,446
and in ping-pong your-

151
00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:37,615
oh, God.

152
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,050
I'm sorry.

153
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:41,919
I didn't realize you were so
sensitive about me beating you.

154
00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:43,538
It's not you.

155
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,406
What do you mean?

156
00:08:44,473 --> 00:08:45,657
I'm over losing to you.

157
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,626
You? You're a freak of nature.

158
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:51,863
Your hands are 5 times the
size of a normal man's.

159
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,598
It's Carrie.

160
00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:57,419
So, she's been cheating on you?

161
00:08:57,486 --> 00:08:59,921
Is it Pedro? No.

162
00:08:59,988 --> 00:09:01,956
She's not cheating on me.

163
00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:03,824
She's beating me at ping-pong.

164
00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:08,179
I'm sorry. I don't follow.

165
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:09,881
It's just...

166
00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:11,593
I knew what I was getting
when I married Carrie.

167
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:14,286
She's... in charge.
She runs the show...

168
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,154
And I'm good with that.
It's just...

169
00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:19,073
Sports has always been
my thing, you know?

170
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,759
And now that she can beat me at
a game as stupid as ping-pong,

171
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,295
it's like...

172
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:29,134
Like you might as well pull up your
testicles like a venetian blind?

173
00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:32,821
Something like that, yeah.

174
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,709
I mean, how the hell did
she get so good, anyway?

175
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,644
How do you think? I taught her.

176
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,013
Then teach me.

177
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,198
What?

178
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:45,316
I want you to train me...
To beat her.

179
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:48,153
I haven't trained
anyone in years.

180
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,156
Come on. I need you.

181
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:54,392
Ok, but remember this, Douglas:

182
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,927
If I train you,

183
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,996
we're going to be
doing things my way.

184
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:01,133
I know, that's why I asked you.

185
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,752
Right.

186
00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:11,359
Here we go. 2 beers and...

187
00:10:11,427 --> 00:10:13,511
Another vodka...

188
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:15,446
For "Mr. gropey."

189
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,384
Ok, um, I gotta tell you.

190
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:21,486
I really don't like
you working here.

191
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,322
Spence, I told you. I'm
doing this for us.

192
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,024
Oh, yeah. That's why you leaned
over right in those guys' faces

193
00:10:27,092 --> 00:10:30,462
and pushed your
plumpies together.

194
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:33,898
It's called "the
lean and squeeze."

195
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,201
If you were in the
industry, you'd know that.

196
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,203
Wait. Wait. So,
you're not quitting.

197
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,054
Is that what I'm hearing?
That's right.

198
00:10:40,122 --> 00:10:43,407
Fair enough, but I think
I should let you know

199
00:10:43,475 --> 00:10:44,408
that if you're going to keep

200
00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:47,846
letting strange men
paw all over you,

201
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:50,281
I may have to get
out there myself.

202
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:54,068
There's a lot of women lined
up to ride Spence Mountain.

203
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:57,505
Well, I hope they enjoy
a short, bumpy ride.

204
00:10:57,572 --> 00:10:59,457
Excuse me.

205
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,831
Come on! At least put
some wood on it.

206
00:11:06,898 --> 00:11:09,334
I'm playing with a spoon!

207
00:11:09,401 --> 00:11:10,134
Of course you are.

208
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:11,552
If you practice with a spoon,

209
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:14,589
then the paddle will seem
like the size of Texas.

210
00:11:16,025 --> 00:11:17,525
Ok. That's it. You
know, I'm-I'm done.

211
00:11:17,592 --> 00:11:18,843
Douglas...

212
00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:21,946
I'm very close to giving
you another 10 laps.

213
00:11:22,013 --> 00:11:24,749
No, I'm not running around
the ping-pong table anymore.

214
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,235
All right. Calm down.
You're hysterical.

215
00:11:27,302 --> 00:11:28,837
Let's get back to basics.

216
00:11:28,904 --> 00:11:31,423
Just show me your stroke.

217
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,393
Ok...

218
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:38,430
That was a train wreck.

219
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:40,065
What's wrong with it?

220
00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:41,632
Come here.

221
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,971
What are you doing?

222
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,207
I'm making myself one with you.

223
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:53,478
Ohhhh.

224
00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:56,214
Can you make yourself
one without gyrating?

225
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:01,386
That's it. Nice and easy.

226
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,622
Like you're spanking
an unruly child.

227
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:08,042
You're too tense.
That's your problem.

228
00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:10,494
Release.

229
00:12:10,562 --> 00:12:11,863
Release into me!

230
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:15,666
Ok, that's it! Stop it! Stop!

231
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:18,803
No! No! You were just
right that time.

232
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:24,575
Now, put down the spoon
and pick up the paddle.

233
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,318
Wow. That was-that
was pretty good.

234
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,119
Maybe you know what
you're talking about.

235
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:38,239
You bet your bippy I do.

236
00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:41,409
Now, I want you to
have a light meal,

237
00:12:41,476 --> 00:12:44,512
listen to the tapes I made you,

238
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,230
in bed by 9:30,

239
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,183
and obviously...

240
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:51,152
No shimmy sham.

241
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,711
Hey, baby. Hi.

242
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,078
What are you doing?

243
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:02,547
Just listening to some tunes.

244
00:13:05,717 --> 00:13:12,323
Be the paddle.

245
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:18,472
Is someone gonna get that?

246
00:13:18,562 --> 00:13:19,995
I'm in the middle of something.

247
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,271
Hello?

248
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:28,472
As a matter of fact,
yes, I have been unhappy

249
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:30,441
with my long-distance provider.

250
00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:39,617
Hey, baby. Hi, honey.

251
00:13:39,684 --> 00:13:40,885
What do you want for dinner?

252
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:42,687
Well, I don't know
about the main course,

253
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:43,788
but for the appetizer,

254
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,189
are you up for a little...

255
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:49,060
Ping... pong?

256
00:13:49,127 --> 00:13:54,132
Ok, not sure if you're talking
about sex or the actual game.

257
00:13:54,199 --> 00:13:55,116
Come on. Ping-pong.

258
00:13:55,183 --> 00:13:57,268
Uh... nah, I don't feel like it.

259
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,137
Just one game before dinner.

260
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,305
Nah.

261
00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,939
Why not?

262
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,809
Because, Doug, you don't
like losing to me, ok?

263
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:07,645
And I don't want this to
become a problem between us.

264
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,930
Problem?

265
00:14:09,998 --> 00:14:11,232
I'm a 38-year-old man.

266
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:12,217
I don't get my self-worth

267
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:13,564
from beating a
girl at ping-pong,

268
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,538
nnnkay?

269
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:20,925
Really? Is that why you've been
training with my dad for 2 weeks?

270
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:24,228
I don't know what
you're talking about.

271
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:28,799
Doug, all my wooden
spoons are gone.

272
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,903
And it worked! I can
beat your ass now!

273
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:32,904
Doug...

274
00:14:32,971 --> 00:14:34,589
If we go out there and play,

275
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:35,857
you're just gonna lose again,

276
00:14:35,924 --> 00:14:37,101
and then who are you going
to get to train you?

277
00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:39,059
Mr. Miyagi?

278
00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:41,145
Meet me in the garage...

279
00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:42,813
If you got the plums.

280
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,223
Yeah! Oh, yeah!

281
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:55,009
That's 20 to 12, advantage
Doug Heffernan.

282
00:14:55,077 --> 00:14:58,313
Nothing short of a massive
stroke can deny him victory.

283
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,765
Well, the way you've been
wheezing, I like my chances.

284
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,500
Now serve. Let's go.

285
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,751
Coming right up.

286
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:18,783
Winner!

287
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,885
Loser! Oh!

288
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,376
Glad you could take me
up on the invitation.

289
00:15:28,444 --> 00:15:31,829
Oh, I really needed
a night like this.

290
00:15:41,891 --> 00:15:43,758
And how are you
folks this evening?

291
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:44,942
Uh, we're good,

292
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,945
and I'll tell you what, uh...
Denise,

293
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,131
my lady friend and I
are in kind of a rush,

294
00:15:50,198 --> 00:15:51,416
trying to catch a movie.

295
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:54,201
Oh, well, then what
can I get you?

296
00:15:54,269 --> 00:15:55,380
I'll have a Heineken on tap,

297
00:15:55,404 --> 00:15:57,505
and, Holly,

298
00:15:57,573 --> 00:15:59,307
I peg you as a Brandy
and soda girl,

299
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,308
am I right?

300
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,543
Well, yes, but no soda

301
00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:04,211
and make that Brandy gin.

302
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,014
You're delightful.

303
00:16:07,082 --> 00:16:09,484
Ok, be back in a jiff.

304
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:15,039
Vodka on the rocks.

305
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,474
Thanks.

306
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:17,709
You know, it's, um...

307
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,076
So warm in here tonight.

308
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,745
Um, do you mind?

309
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:24,949
Oh, yeah!

310
00:16:26,301 --> 00:16:28,386
Oh, that's so much better.

311
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:32,757
Thanks.

312
00:17:07,242 --> 00:17:08,842
What are you doing?

313
00:17:08,910 --> 00:17:10,928
What do you care? You're
over there with blondie!

314
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,540
Uh, Spence, what
is going on here?

315
00:17:25,094 --> 00:17:27,077
He's trying to make me jealous.

316
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:29,130
Is that true?

317
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:30,932
Pretty much.

318
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,677
And I thought you were
just being nice to me

319
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:34,602
to try to get in my pants.

320
00:17:34,669 --> 00:17:36,637
Well, good night to you!

321
00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:50,268
Yeah!

322
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:51,519
Once again...

323
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,137
Very cute.

324
00:17:53,204 --> 00:17:54,248
And, you know, to
celebrate my victory,

325
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:55,990
I've decreed a night of sex...

326
00:17:56,058 --> 00:17:59,193
And George foreman on biography.

327
00:17:59,261 --> 00:18:00,795
Well, let me know
how that turns out.

328
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,275
Sounds like somebody doesn't
like losing so much.

329
00:18:04,299 --> 00:18:06,017
I'm fine with it, but
just do me a favor

330
00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:09,353
and back down the obnoxious
thing a scooch, ok?

331
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,891
But I have so much to
be obnoxious about.

332
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:16,110
Not really.

333
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,079
What? Nothing.

334
00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:19,658
You said, "not really."
What does that mean?

335
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,082
It doesn't mean anything.

336
00:18:21,149 --> 00:18:22,283
It's gotta mean something.

337
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:24,335
All right. It means
I let you win, ok?

338
00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:28,589
You let me win?

339
00:18:28,657 --> 00:18:30,624
Wow!

340
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:35,312
I just beat you like
a Grand Canyon mule,

341
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,181
and you can't give me my props.

342
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,850
Very sad.

343
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:39,700
Ok, Doug, whatever you say.

344
00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:42,353
You beat me.

345
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:45,222
I did.

346
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:48,626
You did.

347
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,995
I whipped your butt.

348
00:18:51,062 --> 00:18:52,296
And I'm agreeing with you.

349
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,375
I know you're agreeing with me.
I'm just talking.

350
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,676
I'm allowed to talk
in my own house, ok?

351
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,784
Yes, you are. I know I am.
Thank you.

352
00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:01,672
One more game. Right now.

353
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,678
Ok, 21 to 3. That was decisive.

354
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:09,747
I begged you not to do this.

355
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,632
I just can't believe this.
I mean...

356
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,901
I- I trained for 2 weeks.
I called in sick twice.

357
00:19:13,969 --> 00:19:15,436
I'm in big trouble.

358
00:19:15,504 --> 00:19:17,204
All right. All right.
So it's over now.

359
00:19:17,272 --> 00:19:19,240
Can we just get past it?

360
00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:20,367
I did have that one slam. You
almost didn't return that-

361
00:19:20,391 --> 00:19:22,020
that was really good.
Your game has improved.

362
00:19:22,044 --> 00:19:23,427
Yeah, I know. It has.

363
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:27,414
Now, I believe that you
decreed a night of...

364
00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:30,785
Sex and, um, something
about George foreman.

365
00:19:30,853 --> 00:19:32,670
That's when I thought
I was champion.

366
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:36,240
Well, I'm the champion
now, so I decree it.

367
00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:54,792
Can-can I do something here?

368
00:19:54,859 --> 00:19:56,527
What?

369
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,195
I mean, you're
dominating everything!

370
00:19:58,263 --> 00:19:59,930
Gosh, first it's
ping-pong, now it's sex.

371
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:03,534
It's official! I am the woman!

372
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,269
Will you stop it?

373
00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:06,970
I can't, ok?!

374
00:20:07,038 --> 00:20:09,223
Why is this such a
big deal to you?

375
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,401
I don't know why it's a
big deal, but it is,

376
00:20:10,425 --> 00:20:12,492
and it's gonna ruin everything!

377
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,245
Ok-oh, all right. Let
me get this straight.

378
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:18,349
Some marriages, they break up
over money, or someone cheats.

379
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:21,385
I mean, is our thing really
going to be ping-pong?

380
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:22,937
Looks that way.

381
00:20:23,005 --> 00:20:24,171
Oh, ok.

382
00:20:24,239 --> 00:20:25,123
Well, at least it's
a good reason.

383
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,391
That'll be fun
calling your folks.

384
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:28,242
Believe me, they'd understand.

385
00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:29,327
They almost got divorced

386
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,695
over a question on card sharks.

387
00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:33,230
Now, come on.

388
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:35,933
There's got to be
something we can do here.

389
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,085
There is. I have to beat
you at ping-pong for real.

390
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,955
And I love you more
than anything,

391
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:44,692
but I just don't think
that can ever happen.

392
00:20:44,759 --> 00:20:46,794
Right.

393
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,846
You got anything else?

394
00:21:02,877 --> 00:21:05,813
Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

395
00:21:07,249 --> 00:21:09,550
It's 12-9. Your ball.