1 00:00:36,264 --> 00:00:39,200 God, I love the smell of hot wings. 2 00:00:39,267 --> 00:00:40,401 I know you do, baby. 3 00:00:40,469 --> 00:00:42,309 Why can't they make an air freshener like this? 4 00:00:42,338 --> 00:00:44,540 You know, like for the car? 5 00:00:44,607 --> 00:00:48,177 Our car has enough food smells in it, don't you think? 6 00:00:48,245 --> 00:00:49,880 For milady? Over here. 7 00:00:51,115 --> 00:00:52,483 Thank you. There you go. 8 00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:57,123 And I will just sit down right here. 9 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,258 Actually, right here. 10 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:03,931 Doug! 11 00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:04,932 Well, come on! Let me watch! 12 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,040 I'm here, the Jets are on, 13 00:01:06,101 --> 00:01:07,469 it's fate! 14 00:01:07,537 --> 00:01:09,238 You're here every day, 15 00:01:09,306 --> 00:01:11,508 and the place is owned by a retired Jet. 16 00:01:11,575 --> 00:01:13,310 It's not that miraculous. Now up! 17 00:01:13,378 --> 00:01:15,612 Up! 18 00:01:15,679 --> 00:01:18,248 All right. 19 00:01:18,316 --> 00:01:21,887 Go, go. 20 00:01:24,391 --> 00:01:27,027 Next time, it's a steak knife. Now, sit down. 21 00:01:27,095 --> 00:01:28,161 Fine. 22 00:01:28,229 --> 00:01:30,799 You know, you could try and make conversation with me. 23 00:01:30,866 --> 00:01:32,835 You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. 24 00:01:36,607 --> 00:01:39,142 Are you trying to see the reflection of the TV 25 00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:41,578 in my eyes? 26 00:01:41,645 --> 00:01:42,847 That would be crazy. 27 00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:44,683 Fumble! 28 00:01:44,751 --> 00:01:46,718 Doug, come on! Stay with me here. 29 00:01:46,786 --> 00:01:48,255 Stay with me, honey. Come on. 30 00:01:48,322 --> 00:01:50,957 Please. 31 00:01:51,024 --> 00:01:52,802 I'm trying to enjoy our last moments of freedom 32 00:01:52,826 --> 00:01:55,129 before your mom comes into town. 33 00:01:55,197 --> 00:01:55,864 Hey, that's no way to talk about the woman 34 00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:59,234 who brought all this into the world. 35 00:01:59,302 --> 00:02:00,879 All right, if she brought all of that into the world, 36 00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,406 she would be dead. 37 00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:05,876 Hey, you guys get menus? 38 00:02:05,943 --> 00:02:06,643 Menus? You're adorable. 39 00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:08,512 Take out your pad. 40 00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:10,648 Doug? 41 00:02:10,716 --> 00:02:12,785 Oh, my God. Margy Colletti! 42 00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:15,823 Carrie, this is my high school girlfriend. 43 00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:17,491 Margy... Margy, this is my wife Carrie. 44 00:02:17,558 --> 00:02:19,494 Hey, great to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. 45 00:02:19,561 --> 00:02:21,764 Awkward! Wife meeting ex-girlfriend. 46 00:02:21,832 --> 00:02:23,833 Couldn't be more uncomfortable. 47 00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:27,537 Was he this much of an idiot back in high school? 48 00:02:27,604 --> 00:02:29,373 Oh, sure. He was just like that, but acne. 49 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,108 Ah, yeah. 50 00:02:31,176 --> 00:02:33,345 So, uh... what are you doing? 51 00:02:33,413 --> 00:02:34,457 I mean, last I heard you were married 52 00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:36,181 to some doctor in Connecticut. 53 00:02:36,249 --> 00:02:37,593 Yeah, I was till a couple of months ago. 54 00:02:37,617 --> 00:02:40,353 Now I'm divorced, back here, waiting tables. 55 00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:43,391 Kind of like Cinderella in reverse. 56 00:02:43,459 --> 00:02:45,560 Sweetheart, still waiting on that pie. 57 00:02:45,627 --> 00:02:46,795 Coming. 58 00:02:46,863 --> 00:02:48,464 Hey, by the way, you must be excited 59 00:02:48,532 --> 00:02:50,166 that your mom's coming into town. 60 00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:52,269 Yeah, I am. How'd you know she was coming in? 61 00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:54,037 We keep in touch. Really? 62 00:02:54,105 --> 00:02:55,973 Yeah, yeah. You know, Christmas cards. 63 00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,142 Funny e-mails. 64 00:02:57,209 --> 00:02:59,278 Does she send you guys the joke of the day? 65 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:03,449 Uh, no, not since we blocked her from our computer. 66 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,452 So what can I get ya? 67 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,421 Well, now that I've heard it out loud, 68 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,223 some kind of pie, 69 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:12,027 and any entrée you think will go well before it. 70 00:03:12,094 --> 00:03:14,130 How about a bacon cheeseburger? 71 00:03:14,197 --> 00:03:16,767 Welcome home, Margy Colletti. 72 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,808 So? New? 73 00:03:25,043 --> 00:03:27,145 I had my annual review at IPS, 74 00:03:27,213 --> 00:03:29,750 and it turns out your son... 75 00:03:29,817 --> 00:03:31,451 is an average worker. 76 00:03:31,519 --> 00:03:33,019 Yeah. 77 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,790 Good for you, Dougie. 78 00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:39,261 You see what happens when you roll your sleeves up? 79 00:03:39,328 --> 00:03:41,898 Doug, can I see you for a second? 80 00:03:41,966 --> 00:03:45,470 Oh. Yeah, sure. 81 00:03:45,537 --> 00:03:46,470 What's up? 82 00:03:46,538 --> 00:03:49,174 OK, take this out. Here are the cookies 83 00:03:49,242 --> 00:03:51,277 and spoons. Go, go, go. 84 00:03:51,345 --> 00:03:53,046 Whoa, settle down. We're still eating. 85 00:03:53,113 --> 00:03:54,714 Well, eat faster. 86 00:03:54,782 --> 00:03:55,582 Carrie, this is a brunch. 87 00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:58,953 "Brunch" means slow lunch. 88 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,322 Well, then we're having "funch"... 89 00:04:01,390 --> 00:04:03,159 Fast lunch. 90 00:04:03,226 --> 00:04:05,228 Come on, if we get done by 12:00, 91 00:04:05,362 --> 00:04:06,740 I can make it to spinning, all right? 92 00:04:06,764 --> 00:04:07,897 Get mama going! 93 00:04:07,966 --> 00:04:09,310 Come on, I put some ice cubes in there 94 00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:10,266 so she'll drink it faster. 95 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,334 Go, go! 96 00:04:13,474 --> 00:04:15,273 You're never gonna believe who that is. 97 00:04:15,341 --> 00:04:17,209 Margy Colletti. 98 00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:18,311 How did you know? 99 00:04:18,379 --> 00:04:19,279 Well, we ran into her yesterday, 100 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,915 and I can see her through the window. 101 00:04:21,816 --> 00:04:24,787 Oh, fiddlesticks. I was gonna surprise ya. 102 00:04:24,854 --> 00:04:26,621 Um, you didn't invite her to eat, did you? 103 00:04:26,689 --> 00:04:28,289 Oh, no. She's just picking me up. 104 00:04:28,324 --> 00:04:30,025 We're going shopping. 105 00:04:31,828 --> 00:04:33,864 Hey! Hi, honey! 106 00:04:33,932 --> 00:04:37,501 Oh, it's so good to see you! 107 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,738 Margy, it's one thing stalking me in a public place, 108 00:04:39,806 --> 00:04:42,308 but this is my home, damn it! 109 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:44,644 Yeah, good one, Doug. 110 00:04:44,712 --> 00:04:46,045 So, where you guys headed? 111 00:04:46,113 --> 00:04:47,926 Well, I just moved into the Sunrise Apartments, 112 00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,984 and Janet said she'd help me decorate. 113 00:04:50,052 --> 00:04:52,021 And she's always had such good taste. 114 00:04:52,088 --> 00:04:53,022 Oh, stop. 115 00:04:53,089 --> 00:04:54,290 You do. I don't. 116 00:04:54,358 --> 00:04:56,359 You do. She does. I don't. 117 00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:59,530 OK. Let's agree to disagree, OK? 118 00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:01,231 Well, I guess I do have kind of a flair. 119 00:05:01,299 --> 00:05:02,967 OK, let's hit the mall. 120 00:05:03,034 --> 00:05:04,803 I promise I won't have her back too late. 121 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:05,805 OK. 122 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,306 Bye, kids! Bye. 123 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,908 Oh, Carrie. Brunch was delightful. 124 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,078 Sorry I had to cut it short. 125 00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:16,528 There you go. Now you can catch your spinning class. 126 00:05:16,552 --> 00:05:18,186 And don't worry. Those dirty dishes 127 00:05:18,255 --> 00:05:20,889 will be right there when you get back. 128 00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:23,761 What's the matter? 129 00:05:23,828 --> 00:05:25,429 Nothing. I just... 130 00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:26,507 Don't you think it's a little weird 131 00:05:26,531 --> 00:05:27,542 your ex-girlfriend's coming around 132 00:05:27,566 --> 00:05:28,743 and hanging out with your mom? 133 00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:32,504 Here we go again. 134 00:05:33,608 --> 00:05:35,742 I am with you. 135 00:05:37,079 --> 00:05:39,313 I took a vow for God's sakes. 136 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,751 Trust that. 137 00:05:41,818 --> 00:05:44,186 This has nothing to do with you, Doug. 138 00:05:44,255 --> 00:05:46,089 All right? It's about Margy and your mom. 139 00:05:46,156 --> 00:05:47,557 I mean, did you hear those two? 140 00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:49,527 "I love you." "No, I love you." 141 00:05:49,595 --> 00:05:52,030 God, I thought they were gonna make out. 142 00:05:52,098 --> 00:05:55,334 Did you just call my mom a lesbian? 143 00:05:55,401 --> 00:05:58,638 Doug, come on. I'm serious. I mean, 144 00:05:58,705 --> 00:05:59,817 your mom shouldn't be running around with Margy. 145 00:05:59,841 --> 00:06:00,975 She should be staying here 146 00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:02,476 and having brunch with us. 147 00:06:02,544 --> 00:06:04,255 Wait a second. You were just trying to get the hell out of here. 148 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:05,279 Remember "funch"? 149 00:06:05,314 --> 00:06:07,850 What the hell happened to funch?! 150 00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:10,486 And another thing, she's decorating her apartment? 151 00:06:10,554 --> 00:06:11,821 I mean, what... What's... 152 00:06:11,889 --> 00:06:13,824 She never showed any interest in this place. 153 00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:16,226 She made us those curtains, you threw 'em out. 154 00:06:16,295 --> 00:06:20,733 They had rainbows with pots of gold on them. 155 00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,568 And, anyway, that's not even the point! 156 00:06:22,636 --> 00:06:23,803 I think it is the point. 157 00:06:23,871 --> 00:06:26,406 The only reason you want mom is 'cause Margy's got her. 158 00:06:26,474 --> 00:06:28,510 What? No! 159 00:06:28,577 --> 00:06:31,012 No, I love... 160 00:06:31,079 --> 00:06:33,081 I love spending time with your mom. 161 00:06:34,385 --> 00:06:36,453 And she should love spending time with me. 162 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,031 Well, I gotta tell you, you don't exactly throw out 163 00:06:38,055 --> 00:06:40,758 the "hang with me" vibe. 164 00:06:40,826 --> 00:06:42,461 And what is that supposed to mean? 165 00:06:42,529 --> 00:06:47,300 Just kind of like... 166 00:06:47,368 --> 00:06:49,703 Well, at least I don't walk around being huge. 167 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,709 What, you just did the cat thing. 168 00:06:53,776 --> 00:06:55,009 That was just harmless fun. 169 00:06:55,077 --> 00:06:57,078 You're clearly not a cat. 170 00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:07,192 You know, I gotta say I was little surprised 171 00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:09,828 that you wanted my help picking out a dress, dear. 172 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:10,996 Really? Why? 173 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,667 I've always liked your sense of style. 174 00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:14,735 Really? 175 00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:16,312 Yeah, like look at that pin you're wearing. 176 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,348 What do you got there, an elephant? 177 00:07:17,372 --> 00:07:19,174 Oh, yeah. It's for good luck. 178 00:07:20,275 --> 00:07:21,843 You know what? It's yours. 179 00:07:21,911 --> 00:07:22,611 No, no, no. No, no. 180 00:07:22,745 --> 00:07:25,114 That's your elephant. No, no, I couldn't. 181 00:07:25,182 --> 00:07:26,559 I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't, really. 182 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,017 Fine. 183 00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:34,660 So, where are we here? 184 00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:36,396 Uh, give me a little more information 185 00:07:36,463 --> 00:07:38,164 about this function you need the dress for. 186 00:07:38,231 --> 00:07:40,167 Oh, it's a dinner at my boss' house. 187 00:07:40,235 --> 00:07:42,637 We won a lawsuit over clean water. 188 00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:45,140 I'm not sure what side we're on. 189 00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:47,543 Well, you know, if it's a dinner, 190 00:07:47,577 --> 00:07:50,846 this could be a way to go. 191 00:07:50,914 --> 00:07:53,616 Yes! That is definitely a way to go. 192 00:07:53,684 --> 00:07:57,188 It is, but how 'bout this? 193 00:07:57,256 --> 00:08:00,359 Are you posing for Playboy magazine, dear? 194 00:08:01,293 --> 00:08:03,196 No, I am not. 195 00:08:03,264 --> 00:08:05,331 You know, the more I look around, 196 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,102 the more I realize this is the one. 197 00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:09,003 Well, OK! 198 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,471 If you love it, then I love it. 199 00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:11,940 I love it. Then I love it. 200 00:08:12,008 --> 00:08:12,940 Well, I'm glad I could help. 201 00:08:13,008 --> 00:08:14,310 I'm glad you can help, too. 202 00:08:14,378 --> 00:08:17,114 Let's just go ahead and ring this bad boy right up, huh? 203 00:08:17,181 --> 00:08:19,182 OK. 204 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,052 Thank you. 205 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,288 So, after this I think you and I... 206 00:08:23,356 --> 00:08:25,925 Oh, excuse me, dear. 207 00:08:25,993 --> 00:08:27,894 Hello? 208 00:08:27,962 --> 00:08:31,532 Oh, hi, Margy. What's cooking? 209 00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:35,670 Carrie and I are at the Dress Barn. 210 00:08:35,738 --> 00:08:37,205 We're done, right? 211 00:08:37,272 --> 00:08:38,975 Yeah. Yeah! 212 00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:40,954 Yeah, we're done. So, I'll just shoot right down there. 213 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,111 I'll see you in a few. 214 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,015 What do you want me to do? 215 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,394 I want you to talk to your mother. 216 00:08:46,418 --> 00:08:48,252 No, no. I'm not getting involved. 217 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,921 OK, fine. I'll talk to her. 218 00:08:49,989 --> 00:08:51,149 Whoa! What are you gonna say? 219 00:08:51,190 --> 00:08:51,924 I'm gonna tell her 220 00:08:51,992 --> 00:08:53,360 that I don't think it's appropriate 221 00:08:53,428 --> 00:08:56,196 that she spends so much time with her son's ex-girlfriend, 222 00:08:56,264 --> 00:08:58,065 that it's disrespectful to me. 223 00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:03,004 Yeah, I can't allow that. 224 00:09:03,072 --> 00:09:04,807 Why not? I want this out in the open. 225 00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:06,419 I don't know how you handle problems in your family, 226 00:09:06,443 --> 00:09:08,021 but in my family, we sweep 'em under the rug, 227 00:09:08,045 --> 00:09:10,547 then we eat. It's worked for generations. 228 00:09:10,615 --> 00:09:12,183 Tough. I'm talking to her. 229 00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:13,562 Carrie, you can't. I think it's a bad idea. 230 00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:15,320 Look, my mom will be upset, 231 00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:16,633 and she'll start to cry. And when she cries, 232 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,257 she doesn't just cry, OK? She blubbers. 233 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,559 And she'll continue blubbering 234 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:20,794 until you sweep the problem 235 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:24,499 back under the rug where all serious problems belong. 236 00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:27,669 All right, fine. You talk to Margy. 237 00:09:27,737 --> 00:09:30,073 You want me to sit down with my ex... 238 00:09:30,141 --> 00:09:32,408 Alone... 239 00:09:32,476 --> 00:09:33,978 And talk? 240 00:09:34,046 --> 00:09:35,312 Yeah. 241 00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:38,883 Just me and a former lover. 242 00:09:38,951 --> 00:09:40,653 You're not worried about that? 243 00:09:40,721 --> 00:09:42,622 Yeah, I think I'll roll those dice. 244 00:09:46,395 --> 00:09:47,661 Hey, Margy. 245 00:09:47,729 --> 00:09:49,531 Hey, Doug! You here for Finger Fest? 246 00:09:49,599 --> 00:09:51,499 No. No, actually, I came down here 247 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,303 to talk to you about something. 248 00:09:54,371 --> 00:09:56,806 Hey, is Finger Fest instead of Wing Madness 249 00:09:56,874 --> 00:09:57,874 or in addition to? 250 00:09:57,909 --> 00:09:59,409 Not sure. 251 00:09:59,477 --> 00:10:00,410 I'm just a waitress. 252 00:10:00,478 --> 00:10:02,680 You know, I'm kinda out of the loop creatively. 253 00:10:02,748 --> 00:10:05,484 Keep me posted. 254 00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:09,089 Hey, look. 255 00:10:09,157 --> 00:10:10,501 Didn't we have our first date in this booth? 256 00:10:10,525 --> 00:10:11,459 Yeah, actually we did. 257 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:12,760 We came here after we saw 258 00:10:12,827 --> 00:10:14,405 a 4-foot black man change the face of music 259 00:10:14,429 --> 00:10:16,397 in Purple Rain. 260 00:10:16,465 --> 00:10:18,267 Great movie. 261 00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:20,247 I showed you a pretty sweet evening that night, huh? 262 00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,672 Yeah, you did. 263 00:10:21,739 --> 00:10:23,674 Until you shot your straw wrapper at me 264 00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:25,610 and scratched my cornea. 265 00:10:25,678 --> 00:10:28,046 I probably should've known at that point 266 00:10:28,114 --> 00:10:29,482 that we weren't meant to be. 267 00:10:29,549 --> 00:10:32,251 You know when I knew we weren't meant to be? 268 00:10:32,319 --> 00:10:34,421 When you started cheating on me with Ricky LeDouche. 269 00:10:34,489 --> 00:10:36,190 It's Ricky LeDoux, 270 00:10:36,257 --> 00:10:37,591 and I only got together with him 271 00:10:37,658 --> 00:10:40,195 because it was obvious you weren't serious about me. 272 00:10:40,262 --> 00:10:41,130 That's not true. 273 00:10:41,198 --> 00:10:43,832 I wrote that song about you, for God's sakes. 274 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:44,634 Again with that stupid song. 275 00:10:44,702 --> 00:10:45,902 You told me for 2 years 276 00:10:45,969 --> 00:10:47,204 that you were gonna write it. 277 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,405 I did! Then how come I never heard it? 278 00:10:49,473 --> 00:10:51,652 Because while I was putting the finishing touches on it, 279 00:10:51,676 --> 00:10:54,079 you were rolling around with LeDouche. 280 00:10:54,146 --> 00:10:56,749 LeDoux, it's LeDoux. And by the way, 281 00:10:56,817 --> 00:10:58,752 that nickname really hurt his feelings. 282 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,954 LeDouche is sad! 283 00:11:01,022 --> 00:11:02,088 OK. 284 00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:03,557 OK, fine. 285 00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:05,360 Sing me the song you wrote. 286 00:11:05,427 --> 00:11:07,796 I told you I never got a chance 287 00:11:07,865 --> 00:11:09,198 to completely finish it. 288 00:11:09,266 --> 00:11:10,200 Yeah, you were pretty good 289 00:11:10,268 --> 00:11:11,768 at not finishing things, weren't ya? 290 00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:13,570 You never finished fixing up your car, 291 00:11:13,637 --> 00:11:15,005 you never finished college... 292 00:11:15,073 --> 00:11:16,140 I wrote the song! 293 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:17,418 Sure you did. I gotta get back to work. 294 00:11:17,442 --> 00:11:19,511 Margy, I wrote the song, OK?! 295 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:22,814 Hey, is Finger Fest instead of Wing Madness? 296 00:11:29,158 --> 00:11:31,626 I thought we were gonna watch the game. 297 00:11:31,695 --> 00:11:33,296 Where the hell is it? 298 00:11:33,363 --> 00:11:35,065 You know, I'm sitting here by myself. 299 00:11:35,132 --> 00:11:39,003 Haven't been offered any refreshments! 300 00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:40,515 I can't right now, OK? I'm looking for this love song 301 00:11:40,539 --> 00:11:42,373 I wrote to Margy Colletti. 302 00:11:42,441 --> 00:11:43,909 Margy Colletti? 303 00:11:43,977 --> 00:11:46,278 The one whose cornea you destroyed? 304 00:11:46,346 --> 00:11:48,180 OK, I didn't destroy it. 305 00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:49,860 She had to wear an eye patch for a semester. 306 00:11:49,884 --> 00:11:51,084 Big whoop. 307 00:11:51,186 --> 00:11:52,988 Hey, would you look in that box right there? 308 00:11:53,055 --> 00:11:54,266 What do you gotta look for this now? 309 00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:55,867 Because she doesn't believe I wrote it, OK? 310 00:11:55,891 --> 00:11:57,159 She was so smug about it, too. 311 00:11:57,227 --> 00:11:58,471 "Oh, you never finish anything." 312 00:11:58,495 --> 00:11:59,662 Yeah. 313 00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:02,132 She's obviously never eaten with you. 314 00:12:03,535 --> 00:12:06,070 Look in there, OK? Any cassettes? 315 00:12:06,138 --> 00:12:07,406 Yeah, yeah. Let's see. 316 00:12:07,474 --> 00:12:10,142 We got Cheap Trick Live at Budokan, 317 00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:12,812 1-2-3 Spanish, 318 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,482 and The Margy Song. 319 00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:15,816 That's it. That's it! 320 00:12:15,884 --> 00:12:19,587 Here we go. Sweet vindica-she-eeone. 321 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:24,961 Doug, on tape: Check 1, check 2. 322 00:12:25,030 --> 00:12:26,497 OK, here we go. 323 00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:31,269 It's October 12, 1984, and this is The Margy Song 324 00:12:31,337 --> 00:12:35,207 by Doug "The Boss" Heffernan. 325 00:12:37,478 --> 00:12:39,446 The Margy Song. 326 00:12:42,284 --> 00:12:46,021 Margy Song. 327 00:12:46,089 --> 00:12:49,559 All right, a song for Margy. 328 00:12:59,306 --> 00:13:01,507 Oh, yeah! Margy! 329 00:13:01,575 --> 00:13:02,675 Margy! Margy! Margy! Margy! 330 00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:05,411 Margy! Margy! Margy! 331 00:13:05,479 --> 00:13:08,749 OK, I'm gonna take a short break. 332 00:13:08,817 --> 00:13:11,153 To be continued. 333 00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:17,595 OK, maybe she was right. 334 00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,196 Maybe I didn't finish it. 335 00:13:19,264 --> 00:13:20,665 Crap. 336 00:13:32,213 --> 00:13:33,581 Yeah, it was something like, uh... 337 00:13:33,649 --> 00:13:34,749 Then it was... 338 00:13:44,963 --> 00:13:45,974 I can't remember it. Damn it! 339 00:13:45,998 --> 00:13:47,166 Why are you even doing this? 340 00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:48,677 Because I don't want to give her the satisfaction 341 00:13:48,701 --> 00:13:50,469 of thinking I didn't write the song, OK? 342 00:13:50,536 --> 00:13:51,580 If you're gonna help me, help me. 343 00:13:51,604 --> 00:13:52,705 If not, get out of here. 344 00:13:52,773 --> 00:13:54,007 All right, fine. 345 00:13:54,074 --> 00:13:56,177 But I think if you're gonna do this, 346 00:13:56,245 --> 00:13:57,911 we should open up the box a little. 347 00:13:57,979 --> 00:13:59,615 What do you got? 348 00:13:59,682 --> 00:14:01,093 Well, it's supposed to be something from the eighties. 349 00:14:01,117 --> 00:14:02,585 So why don't we synth-rock this baby 350 00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:04,620 and see where she takes us? 351 00:14:32,589 --> 00:14:36,428 OK. 352 00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:37,862 Let's close the box. 353 00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:41,700 OK, I've only gotten awards for karaoke, but whatever. 354 00:14:43,638 --> 00:14:46,240 Hey, Doug. Did you, uh... Did you talk to Margy? 355 00:14:46,307 --> 00:14:47,408 Yeah. 356 00:14:47,476 --> 00:14:49,077 Yeah, I did. Uh... 357 00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:50,778 And is she gonna stay away from your mom? 358 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:51,924 I don't know. I did my best, 359 00:14:51,948 --> 00:14:53,550 but I'm not sure it sunk in. 360 00:14:53,618 --> 00:14:55,818 She's pretty attached. 361 00:14:55,886 --> 00:14:56,987 Really? Mmm. 362 00:14:57,054 --> 00:14:59,123 Unbelievable. 363 00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,925 Friggin' Margy just can't stay away 364 00:15:00,993 --> 00:15:03,561 from her little advice whore. 365 00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:08,234 Did you just call my mom a whore? 366 00:15:08,302 --> 00:15:10,035 I gotta go. 367 00:15:10,103 --> 00:15:10,971 I gotta go to my boss' dinner. 368 00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:12,306 I'll see you guys later. 369 00:15:12,374 --> 00:15:13,814 What are you doing with the keyboard? 370 00:15:15,745 --> 00:15:16,889 Doug's helping me write a couple of songs 371 00:15:16,913 --> 00:15:18,248 for the IPS follies. 372 00:15:18,315 --> 00:15:21,252 I'm, uh, musical director. 373 00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:28,160 I actually am. 374 00:15:34,603 --> 00:15:36,771 Janet. What are you doing? 375 00:15:36,839 --> 00:15:38,106 Oh, pardon me. 376 00:15:38,173 --> 00:15:41,143 I'm just trying to pick a color for Margy's bedroom. 377 00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:43,312 Something like this might be nice. 378 00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:44,280 You mind if she comes over and takes a look? 379 00:15:44,348 --> 00:15:45,558 All right. You know what? We gotta talk. 380 00:15:45,582 --> 00:15:46,950 About what, dear? 381 00:15:47,018 --> 00:15:48,986 Janet, I'm your daughter-in-law, 382 00:15:49,054 --> 00:15:52,257 and you're just spending all this time with Margy. 383 00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:53,860 You know? 384 00:15:53,927 --> 00:15:55,972 I'm just wondering if maybe you would've been happier 385 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,165 if Doug would've married her. 386 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,570 Oh, my God. 387 00:16:02,637 --> 00:16:04,739 What have I done? 388 00:16:04,807 --> 00:16:08,445 OK. Whoa. OK. 389 00:16:10,848 --> 00:16:13,284 No, no, no. It's... it's really... it's not just you. 390 00:16:13,351 --> 00:16:15,987 You know, I could've tried harder, you know? 391 00:16:16,055 --> 00:16:17,188 I... 392 00:16:17,256 --> 00:16:19,358 Wow. Doug wasn't kidding. 393 00:16:19,426 --> 00:16:20,759 Here, here. Why don't you... 394 00:16:20,827 --> 00:16:24,430 Here, probably softer than that fabric swatch. 395 00:16:24,498 --> 00:16:26,034 Thank you. 396 00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:27,936 Oh, Carrie. 397 00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:32,909 I am so, so, so sorry. 398 00:16:32,976 --> 00:16:35,645 I never meant to make you feel badly. 399 00:16:35,713 --> 00:16:37,448 No, I know you didn't, but... 400 00:16:37,516 --> 00:16:38,783 but you did. 401 00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:40,752 But it's OK! But it's OK now! 402 00:16:40,819 --> 00:16:44,389 It really is OK. 403 00:16:44,457 --> 00:16:46,559 Listen to me, darling. 404 00:16:46,627 --> 00:16:49,096 Margy is a very sweet person, 405 00:16:49,163 --> 00:16:50,598 but make no mistake, 406 00:16:50,665 --> 00:16:54,736 you are my daughter-in-law. 407 00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,773 No. 408 00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:59,008 My daughter. 409 00:16:59,076 --> 00:17:00,711 Thank you, Janet. 410 00:17:00,778 --> 00:17:01,778 Mom. 411 00:17:06,185 --> 00:17:08,153 And Margy is just gonna have to finish 412 00:17:08,222 --> 00:17:10,289 decorating her apartment without me. 413 00:17:10,356 --> 00:17:11,924 My time is for you. 414 00:17:11,992 --> 00:17:14,093 Well, thank you, Janet. That means a lot to me. 415 00:17:14,161 --> 00:17:16,597 All right, I'm gonna get dressed for that dinner, Mom. 416 00:17:16,665 --> 00:17:18,834 All right, sweetheart. 417 00:17:24,007 --> 00:17:27,076 You're not gonna wear the dress we bought together? 418 00:17:27,144 --> 00:17:29,947 Oh, no. I was just yanking this for the dry cleaners. 419 00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,017 It's gotta go to the dry cleaners. 420 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,220 Oh, here it is. I'm gonna wear this. 421 00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:37,623 Oh, I'll give you some privacy. 422 00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:38,858 OK. 423 00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:49,506 Hello? 424 00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:53,545 Oh, hi, Margy. 425 00:17:53,612 --> 00:17:56,748 No. No, dear, I absolutely can't come over now. 426 00:18:03,057 --> 00:18:04,958 All right. Fine, fine. 427 00:18:05,027 --> 00:18:07,229 But I can only stay for 5 minutes. 428 00:18:11,769 --> 00:18:15,139 Hey. Ohh! 429 00:18:15,206 --> 00:18:17,474 You look beautiful. 430 00:18:17,543 --> 00:18:19,976 You're gonna get some compliments tonight. 431 00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:23,781 Yeah. I'm sure people will be talking about it. 432 00:18:23,849 --> 00:18:26,018 Hey, you going some place? 433 00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:27,387 Uh, yes. Uh... 434 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:30,591 I... I've got to go pick up some diabetes medicine 435 00:18:30,659 --> 00:18:31,959 for my Uncle Norman. 436 00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:33,727 Right. 437 00:18:33,795 --> 00:18:35,331 So, uh, well, have a wonderful evening. 438 00:18:35,397 --> 00:18:37,766 Thanks. 439 00:18:59,495 --> 00:19:02,599 Uncle Norman, my ass. 440 00:19:05,703 --> 00:19:07,204 I would definitely go with the blue. 441 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,907 Now, darling, I really do have to get going. 442 00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:11,018 Oh, no, just stay a few more minutes. 443 00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:13,111 You haven't even touched your wine. 444 00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:15,247 A few minutes, fine. 445 00:19:19,588 --> 00:19:20,521 Carrie? 446 00:19:20,589 --> 00:19:21,856 Oh, my God! 447 00:19:21,924 --> 00:19:24,492 Carrie, it's not what you think. Oh, no? 448 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,228 She needed me. I'm just in and out 449 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,864 to help with the couch and the carpet. 450 00:19:27,932 --> 00:19:29,812 And to polish off a bottle of chardonnay, I see. 451 00:19:29,867 --> 00:19:32,603 Get your coat. We're going home. 452 00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:34,706 Really, it's not what you think... 453 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:35,907 Coat, now, Mom. 454 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,811 Well, can't she just stay to help me pick out the tiles? 455 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:39,713 OK, listen to me, sweetheart. 456 00:19:39,814 --> 00:19:41,534 You had a mother-in-law and you blew it, OK? 457 00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:43,150 This one's mine, so mitts off. 458 00:19:43,217 --> 00:19:44,819 What? What? Hello? 459 00:19:44,886 --> 00:19:46,987 You're through, OK? You're out of our lives. 460 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,416 OK, you finished it. 461 00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:28,039 Ladies.