1 00:00:32,562 --> 00:00:34,395 But I think my favorite mayor of all 2 00:00:34,463 --> 00:00:36,729 was Mr. John D. Lindsay. 3 00:00:36,797 --> 00:00:38,596 Marvelous politician and, if I may say, 4 00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,461 easy on the eyes. 5 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:42,496 Hey, guys, good walk? 6 00:00:42,531 --> 00:00:44,264 Oh, it was great. Arthur's been telling me 7 00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:45,898 all these funny mayor stories. 8 00:00:45,964 --> 00:00:47,564 Oh, yeah? Oh, Holly, 9 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,597 let me pay you for this week. 10 00:00:49,665 --> 00:00:51,565 There you go, sweetie. Thanks. 11 00:00:51,633 --> 00:00:53,899 You don't have to pay my dog walker 12 00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:57,199 in front of me like I'm an animal! 13 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,299 Well, you can earn some money 14 00:00:59,366 --> 00:01:01,266 and pay her yourself. 15 00:01:01,334 --> 00:01:04,533 Easy there, sister. I was just making conversation. 16 00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:05,700 Thanks, Carr. 17 00:01:05,767 --> 00:01:06,978 Listen, Arthur, I'm adding a new dog 18 00:01:07,002 --> 00:01:08,002 to our walk next time... 19 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,267 This adorable Jack Russell. 20 00:01:10,335 --> 00:01:11,635 I hope it's not the Jack Russell 21 00:01:11,703 --> 00:01:14,802 I knew in the army. I left him for dead. 22 00:01:15,769 --> 00:01:17,201 Hey, babe. 23 00:01:17,269 --> 00:01:20,036 Hi, honey. Listen, I'm sorry 24 00:01:20,104 --> 00:01:21,145 I couldn't make that meeting 25 00:01:21,169 --> 00:01:22,736 with the mortgage guy. How'd it go? 26 00:01:22,803 --> 00:01:24,437 Great. He ran down the options for me, 27 00:01:24,504 --> 00:01:26,669 and I think I selected us a refinancing plan 28 00:01:26,737 --> 00:01:28,137 that fits our needs pretty well. 29 00:01:28,205 --> 00:01:29,705 Yeah? Which? 30 00:01:29,772 --> 00:01:31,937 Uh, the purple one. 31 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,203 Did you even read it? 32 00:01:34,271 --> 00:01:35,105 No, but the broker was pushing it, 33 00:01:35,173 --> 00:01:37,239 and he seemed like a pretty bright guy. 34 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,872 Look, the middle-aged black couple here 35 00:01:38,939 --> 00:01:41,006 seems pretty happy with it. 36 00:01:41,074 --> 00:01:42,540 You're not ready 37 00:01:42,607 --> 00:01:45,873 to do grown-up stuff on your own, are you? 38 00:01:45,941 --> 00:01:47,406 I got the gist of it, all right? 39 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,473 Right now we got 7 years left on our mortgage. 40 00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:50,774 If we switch to this one, 41 00:01:50,842 --> 00:01:52,322 it's gonna bring our payments way down 42 00:01:52,374 --> 00:01:54,941 because we're gonna spread 'em out over the next 30 years. 43 00:01:55,008 --> 00:01:56,108 Hmm. That sounds good. 44 00:01:56,175 --> 00:01:57,208 Yeah. My only concern was 45 00:01:57,275 --> 00:02:01,375 are we really gonna dig each other for that long? 46 00:02:01,443 --> 00:02:03,742 Well, unless you leave me for a roast beef, 47 00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:06,276 I think we're OK. 48 00:02:06,344 --> 00:02:07,453 So when do we sign everything? 49 00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:08,987 I'm picking up the application tomorrow 50 00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:10,086 and I'll bring it by your office. 51 00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,044 Holy sweet Mother, 52 00:02:11,111 --> 00:02:13,678 I'm staring at a bowl of chocolate. 53 00:02:13,745 --> 00:02:15,510 Yeah, I'm making brownies. 54 00:02:15,578 --> 00:02:16,721 Hey, get away. They're not for you. 55 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:17,825 They're for Curt from work. 56 00:02:17,879 --> 00:02:19,245 Who? 57 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:19,945 Curt, my friend from work. 58 00:02:20,013 --> 00:02:21,312 It's his birthday tomorrow. 59 00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:25,046 No... no! Stop it! 60 00:02:25,114 --> 00:02:26,946 Don't... don't do it! 61 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,046 No! 62 00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:29,357 You only bake a few times a year! 63 00:02:29,381 --> 00:02:31,448 I should be on the business end of all of 'em! 64 00:02:31,515 --> 00:02:34,882 Doug, I limit my baking to keep you alive. 65 00:02:34,949 --> 00:02:38,115 Look, you know, I'm not sure I like you baking for another man, anyway. 66 00:02:38,182 --> 00:02:39,192 All right. You know what? Relax. 67 00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:40,781 Curt is gay. 68 00:02:40,849 --> 00:02:43,049 Oh, well, then there's no way he can eat 69 00:02:43,116 --> 00:02:45,615 a tray full of brownies and still look good in his gay pants. 70 00:02:45,683 --> 00:02:46,549 So give. Give 'em to me. 71 00:02:46,617 --> 00:02:48,016 Stop it! Stop! 72 00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:59,184 Hey, Doug. Oh, hey, Amy. 73 00:02:59,252 --> 00:03:00,518 You, uh, see the wifeski? 74 00:03:01,586 --> 00:03:03,652 The what? The wifeski. 75 00:03:04,786 --> 00:03:07,420 I'm sorry. I don't know what you're saying. 76 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,119 My wife Carrie. Have you seen her? 77 00:03:10,221 --> 00:03:12,030 Yeah, she should be back from lunch any minute. 78 00:03:12,054 --> 00:03:13,121 Thanks. OK. 79 00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:28,456 Hey, honey. 80 00:03:28,524 --> 00:03:29,889 Hey! Hey! 81 00:03:29,956 --> 00:03:30,890 How are ya? Good. 82 00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:32,033 I brought the mortgage down. 83 00:03:32,057 --> 00:03:32,989 Oh, good. 84 00:03:33,057 --> 00:03:34,134 Curt, this is my husband Doug. 85 00:03:34,158 --> 00:03:35,791 Oh, it's great to meet you finally. 86 00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:37,057 C-Curt. Brownie Curt. 87 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,825 Yeah. I'd offer you one, 88 00:03:38,892 --> 00:03:40,735 but my co-workers pretty much mowed right through them. 89 00:03:40,759 --> 00:03:43,058 I yanked my hands away just in time. 90 00:03:43,126 --> 00:03:45,124 Well, no biggie. 91 00:03:51,661 --> 00:03:54,127 Speaking of scary co-workers, 92 00:03:54,195 --> 00:03:56,827 did you see Vanveen make his way over here? 93 00:03:56,895 --> 00:03:57,895 Uh, yeah. 94 00:03:57,928 --> 00:03:59,104 He was just standing there, staring at us... 95 00:03:59,128 --> 00:04:00,894 "What ya got there? Brownies?" 96 00:04:00,962 --> 00:04:01,896 Very odd. Very odd, 97 00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:03,573 and did you see he was wearing that thing again? 98 00:04:03,597 --> 00:04:04,362 That thing with the snaps? 99 00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:05,361 Yeah, yeah. 100 00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:06,361 He thinks it works for him. 101 00:04:06,429 --> 00:04:07,529 It doesn't. Uh-uh! 102 00:04:09,497 --> 00:04:10,662 Yeah, totally. 103 00:04:14,431 --> 00:04:17,031 So anyway, I got the, uh, mortgage thing here. 104 00:04:17,099 --> 00:04:18,707 You just gotta sign next to the little tabbies. 105 00:04:18,731 --> 00:04:20,275 All right, well, did you read through it this time? 106 00:04:20,299 --> 00:04:21,364 No. 107 00:04:22,632 --> 00:04:24,074 I paid the guy to put the tabbies there 108 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,142 so we wouldn't have to read it. 109 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,243 OK, I'm gonna go make a copy. 110 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,267 I'll be right back. 111 00:04:30,134 --> 00:04:31,398 Oh, God, I'm stuffed. 112 00:04:31,466 --> 00:04:32,833 Carrie took me out for sushi. 113 00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:36,833 Oh, great. That's one less time she begs me to go. 114 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,000 Raw fish not as good as cooked cow. 115 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:41,868 Hey! 116 00:04:41,934 --> 00:04:43,668 It's Carrie's work husband 117 00:04:43,736 --> 00:04:44,901 and her real husband 118 00:04:44,969 --> 00:04:46,068 in the same place. 119 00:04:52,037 --> 00:04:53,502 Work husband? 120 00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:55,570 Oh, yeah. It's just this joke they got going here 121 00:04:55,638 --> 00:04:56,647 'cause we're always together. 122 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,703 I'm her work husband. 123 00:04:57,771 --> 00:04:58,771 She's my work wife. 124 00:04:58,805 --> 00:04:59,704 It's stupid. 125 00:04:59,772 --> 00:05:01,470 No, no, it's... 126 00:05:01,538 --> 00:05:03,705 It's funny. It's funny. 127 00:05:03,773 --> 00:05:05,871 All right, honey. Here ya go. 128 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,238 OK. All right. 129 00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:09,872 Now we gotta go set up the conference room for a meeting. 130 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,106 The millionaires will riot 131 00:05:11,174 --> 00:05:12,483 if they don't get their free muffins. 132 00:05:12,507 --> 00:05:13,439 OK. OK. 133 00:05:13,507 --> 00:05:14,440 It's nice to meet you. 134 00:05:14,507 --> 00:05:15,507 You, too. 135 00:05:34,176 --> 00:05:35,377 Douglas. 136 00:05:35,444 --> 00:05:36,742 Hey, Arthur. 137 00:05:39,378 --> 00:05:41,311 What's troubling you, Son? 138 00:05:41,378 --> 00:05:42,477 You never looked heavier. 139 00:05:51,047 --> 00:05:52,047 Thanks. 140 00:05:53,247 --> 00:05:55,246 Come here. 141 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,546 Well, there's this... 142 00:05:56,581 --> 00:05:59,713 There's this guy that Carrie works with. 143 00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,280 Nothing really bad's going on. 144 00:06:01,348 --> 00:06:03,215 Actually, he's gay. 145 00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:06,048 Ah, the homosexuals. 146 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:09,181 It's wonderful, the things they've given to our culture. 147 00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:10,348 I'm a big fan. 148 00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:13,415 Can I finish? 149 00:06:13,483 --> 00:06:14,382 All right. 150 00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:15,450 So anyway, 151 00:06:15,516 --> 00:06:18,249 she and this guy got this thing going. 152 00:06:18,317 --> 00:06:19,683 They're really close, 153 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,450 and they have all these inside jokes. 154 00:06:21,517 --> 00:06:22,450 They go out for sushi, 155 00:06:22,517 --> 00:06:23,528 and it turns out the people there 156 00:06:23,552 --> 00:06:25,450 call him her work husband. 157 00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:26,685 I mean, what's with that? 158 00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:28,884 Come on. It's innocent fun. 159 00:06:28,952 --> 00:06:31,385 I actually had a work wife once. 160 00:06:31,453 --> 00:06:33,185 Really? Mm-hmm. 161 00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:35,552 Her name was Phyllis Schneck. 162 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:38,220 She worked with me in a crab cannery 163 00:06:38,286 --> 00:06:40,019 in Glen Burnie, Maryland. 164 00:06:40,087 --> 00:06:41,853 All righty. 165 00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:43,764 Every morning, I would kiss my real wife good-bye 166 00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:45,520 and head to work. 167 00:06:45,588 --> 00:06:46,754 Down at the cannery, 168 00:06:46,822 --> 00:06:48,987 Phyllis and I would laugh our heads off all day, 169 00:06:49,056 --> 00:06:53,721 you know, real inside crab humor. 170 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:54,855 Then, one day, 171 00:06:54,923 --> 00:06:56,422 at the company picnic, 172 00:06:56,489 --> 00:06:59,022 we hopped off into the forest 173 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,189 in a potato sack 174 00:07:01,257 --> 00:07:03,589 and made love like rabbits. 175 00:07:09,424 --> 00:07:10,857 Now that I think about it, Douglas, 176 00:07:10,925 --> 00:07:15,258 gay or not, new guy spells bad news. 177 00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:17,425 The new guy's so cute, isn't he? 178 00:07:17,493 --> 00:07:18,859 He's OK. 179 00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:20,626 I doubt he'll be doing any Alpo ads 180 00:07:20,693 --> 00:07:22,259 anytime soon. 181 00:07:22,327 --> 00:07:24,593 You're so good with the Frisbee, Pee-wee. 182 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,627 You're so good with the Frisbee. 183 00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:27,560 We get it. 184 00:07:27,628 --> 00:07:29,027 He's good with the Frisbee. 185 00:07:38,131 --> 00:07:39,495 Hey. Hey. 186 00:07:39,563 --> 00:07:41,130 How was the rest of your work day? 187 00:07:41,197 --> 00:07:42,463 Fine. 188 00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:44,074 Just fine? Come on, give me more than that. 189 00:07:44,098 --> 00:07:45,196 What? 190 00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:47,297 Come on. I want to be part of your work life. 191 00:07:48,732 --> 00:07:51,431 Do you also want to pick out my outfit for tomorrow? 192 00:07:51,499 --> 00:07:52,499 Look, I'm serious. 193 00:07:52,565 --> 00:07:53,842 Like, what's up with the weird guy 194 00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:55,165 who kept staring at the brownies? 195 00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:56,632 Vanveen? Yes! 196 00:07:56,699 --> 00:07:59,266 What the hell is up with Vanveen? 197 00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:02,733 Give me the what-what on Vanveen. 198 00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:03,666 Nothing. 199 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,200 Just a very annoying man who's 4'11". 200 00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:07,467 Why do you care? 201 00:08:07,535 --> 00:08:10,168 Well, excuse me for wanting to know 202 00:08:10,235 --> 00:08:11,001 as much about your life 203 00:08:11,068 --> 00:08:13,368 as your work husband does. 204 00:08:13,436 --> 00:08:15,002 What? That's right. 205 00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:16,745 You didn't think I'd find out you're a bigamist, 206 00:08:16,769 --> 00:08:20,001 did you, Utah? 207 00:08:20,069 --> 00:08:20,868 Doug, are you actually telling me 208 00:08:20,936 --> 00:08:22,970 you're upset because I have a friend 209 00:08:23,037 --> 00:08:23,970 who people, as a dumb joke, 210 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:24,970 call my work husband? 211 00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:25,970 No, you know, you're right. 212 00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:27,147 Why am I getting upset? Really. 213 00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:28,104 You just have another husband. That's all. 214 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:29,904 Doug, Curt is gay. 215 00:08:29,972 --> 00:08:32,370 What part of gay do you not understand? 216 00:08:32,438 --> 00:08:35,538 I understand plenty parts of gay. 217 00:08:35,605 --> 00:08:36,838 Do you, Doug? Yeah, I do. 218 00:08:36,905 --> 00:08:39,205 Well, you're being ridiculous. 219 00:08:39,273 --> 00:08:41,238 Look, even if there is no sex involved, 220 00:08:41,306 --> 00:08:42,306 how would you like it 221 00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:45,639 if I had a work wife at IPS, huh? 222 00:08:45,707 --> 00:08:47,106 What if Wanda the dispatcher and I 223 00:08:47,174 --> 00:08:49,040 just started spending all this time together? 224 00:08:49,108 --> 00:08:51,640 Wanda never leaves her desk. 225 00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:54,108 She's 400 pounds. 226 00:08:54,175 --> 00:08:55,074 Of fun. 227 00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:56,775 All right, you know what? 228 00:08:56,842 --> 00:08:59,775 I am done with this conversation. 229 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:00,875 Whether he's gay or not, 230 00:09:00,943 --> 00:09:02,675 bottom line is you found somebody at work 231 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,786 you're sharing all these things with 232 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,376 that you should be sharing with me. 233 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:07,543 You guys have all these inside jokes. 234 00:09:07,611 --> 00:09:09,477 You got all this stuff in common. 235 00:09:09,545 --> 00:09:11,611 You go out for lunch, you hang out. 236 00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:15,443 You just described your exact relationship with Deacon. 237 00:09:17,212 --> 00:09:18,845 No, I didn't. 238 00:09:18,913 --> 00:09:20,712 Think about it. 239 00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:23,045 Have I ever once baked brownies for Deacon? 240 00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:24,713 No, but you made him that big sandwich, 241 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,479 and you told me how much you enjoyed watching him eat it. 242 00:09:28,546 --> 00:09:30,313 OK, that was a new kind of ham I discovered. 243 00:09:30,381 --> 00:09:31,847 It's totally different. 244 00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:35,048 And you guys have a million inside jokes. 245 00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:36,658 I mean, I come home, you two are on the couch... 246 00:09:36,682 --> 00:09:37,948 "Hey, Eddie, Eddie." 247 00:09:38,016 --> 00:09:40,715 I mean, I don't know what the hell you guys talk about. 248 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,215 So, admit it. 249 00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:44,549 There are many times 250 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,126 you'd rather be spending time with Deacon than with me. 251 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,516 So whether you like it or not, 252 00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:49,549 he is your work wife. 253 00:09:52,652 --> 00:09:53,652 You're ugly. 254 00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:57,851 What's up, man? 255 00:09:57,919 --> 00:09:58,985 What's up? 256 00:10:56,862 --> 00:10:59,128 You wanna catch a movie tonight? 257 00:10:59,196 --> 00:11:00,528 Try and stop me. 258 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,762 Look at the ball, Pee-wee. Ready? 259 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:05,762 Go get it. 260 00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:08,528 Oh, isn't he great? I just love him. 261 00:11:08,596 --> 00:11:09,974 By the way, I was reading a scathing piece 262 00:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,930 in the op-ed section of today's Times. 263 00:11:11,998 --> 00:11:13,373 Did you happen to see it? No, I didn't. 264 00:11:13,397 --> 00:11:14,163 Oh, who's a good boy? 265 00:11:14,231 --> 00:11:17,164 You're a good boy. Ready? 266 00:11:17,232 --> 00:11:18,996 Go get it again. 267 00:11:19,064 --> 00:11:19,698 It was saying we haven't had 268 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:20,966 a decent secretary of commerce 269 00:11:20,999 --> 00:11:22,698 in over a decade. Oh, real... 270 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:23,898 Oh, who's smarter than you? 271 00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:25,065 Nobody. 272 00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:26,531 Nobody's smarter than you. Ready? 273 00:11:26,599 --> 00:11:29,332 Look at it. 274 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,766 Go get it. 275 00:11:31,867 --> 00:11:33,200 Come here! Come here! 276 00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:35,934 Give me that ball, Pee-wee! 277 00:11:36,002 --> 00:11:37,400 Give it to me! 278 00:11:40,703 --> 00:11:42,600 I believe this is yours. 279 00:11:44,468 --> 00:11:46,701 Curt, do not ask him out. 280 00:11:46,769 --> 00:11:48,635 Because he's straight. 281 00:11:48,703 --> 00:11:51,169 He is. 282 00:11:51,237 --> 00:11:52,569 All right, good luck to you. 283 00:11:52,637 --> 00:11:54,169 Hey, call me after the train wreck. 284 00:11:54,237 --> 00:11:55,403 OK. Bye. 285 00:11:56,971 --> 00:11:58,146 It's wonderful to see how you kids 286 00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,536 keep your marriage so fresh. 287 00:12:02,205 --> 00:12:04,138 Listen, the mortgage guy called. 288 00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,571 He wants us to meet him in his office at 3:30 tomorrow 289 00:12:06,639 --> 00:12:07,738 to sign the final papers. 290 00:12:07,806 --> 00:12:08,738 Great. 291 00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:09,816 In other news, you were right. 292 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:10,772 Deacon is my work wife, 293 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:11,773 and I'm good with that. 294 00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:13,173 So there you go. 295 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,740 Are you still on this thing? 296 00:12:14,807 --> 00:12:16,272 I'm not on or off anything, OK? 297 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:17,640 It's just fact. 298 00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:19,185 You found somebody you like to spend all your time with, 299 00:12:19,209 --> 00:12:20,340 and so have I. 300 00:12:20,408 --> 00:12:21,440 Don't be a moron. 301 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,474 I never said I wanted to spend all my time with Curt. 302 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,574 It's fine. You guys can hang out, eat sushi. 303 00:12:26,641 --> 00:12:27,953 Deacon and I are going out tonight 304 00:12:27,977 --> 00:12:29,709 to explore one of our common interests, 305 00:12:29,777 --> 00:12:32,110 the cinema of Mr. Vin Diesel. 306 00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,443 OK, you know what? 307 00:12:39,511 --> 00:12:41,477 Hey, Curt, it's me again. 308 00:12:41,544 --> 00:12:44,311 Hey, do you want to go dancing or something tonight? 309 00:12:44,379 --> 00:12:45,978 OK, great. 310 00:12:46,046 --> 00:12:48,045 So I'll see you in, what, like, a half hour? 311 00:12:48,113 --> 00:12:49,544 All right, hon. Bye-bye. 312 00:12:51,613 --> 00:12:52,812 Ya happy? 313 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,612 Thrilled. 314 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,079 It's better this way. 315 00:12:55,147 --> 00:12:55,946 Now you don't have to pretend to care 316 00:12:56,014 --> 00:12:58,413 about sports and ground beef, 317 00:12:58,481 --> 00:12:59,523 and I don't have to pretend to care 318 00:12:59,547 --> 00:13:00,547 about your new shoes 319 00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:03,214 and your feelings. 320 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,181 You know what? Maybe I do wanna spend 321 00:13:05,248 --> 00:13:07,414 every second of my day with Curt. 322 00:13:07,481 --> 00:13:08,659 Feels good to admit it, right? 323 00:13:08,683 --> 00:13:10,014 Feels fantastic. 324 00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:11,082 Would you do me a favor? 325 00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:12,750 Please hand me my Michael Jordan cologne. 326 00:13:13,651 --> 00:13:14,882 Thank you. Mm-hmm. 327 00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:15,950 Here we go. 328 00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:17,018 Wow, wow. 329 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,616 I like to smell good for my man. 330 00:13:18,684 --> 00:13:19,684 OK. 331 00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:21,883 Zip me, please. 332 00:13:21,951 --> 00:13:23,618 Not a problem. 333 00:13:23,685 --> 00:13:24,918 Zip me, please. 334 00:13:29,219 --> 00:13:30,518 What, your fly? 335 00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:31,519 That's right. My fly. 336 00:13:31,587 --> 00:13:33,152 You can zip your own fly. 337 00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:35,086 That is such a slap in the face. 338 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,686 Hey, you think Vin Diesel's full name 339 00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:45,254 is Vincent Diesel? 340 00:13:45,322 --> 00:13:47,022 I think the name is totally made-up. 341 00:13:47,089 --> 00:13:47,788 Really? 342 00:13:47,856 --> 00:13:48,930 So you don't think out there somewhere 343 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:51,122 there's a very proud Sam and Edna Diesel? 344 00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:55,923 Doug? 345 00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:56,889 Hey, Carrie. 346 00:13:56,957 --> 00:13:59,023 Hello. 347 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,189 What are you doing here? 348 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,091 I told you I wanted to try this place. 349 00:14:04,158 --> 00:14:05,258 What are you doing here? 350 00:14:05,325 --> 00:14:09,524 Sorry, I didn't realize you owned El Diablo's. 351 00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,458 Can I start you guys off 352 00:14:12,526 --> 00:14:13,826 with something to drink? 353 00:14:13,893 --> 00:14:15,259 Yeah, I'll have a margarita. 354 00:14:15,327 --> 00:14:16,402 Oh, do you wanna share one? 355 00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:17,358 I don't drink that much. 356 00:14:17,426 --> 00:14:19,592 Oh, sure. We'll share a margarita. 357 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,726 Oh, and Deacon and I will share a margarita as well. 358 00:14:26,062 --> 00:14:27,760 No, we won't. 359 00:14:27,828 --> 00:14:29,228 Fine, then we'll share 2. 360 00:14:29,296 --> 00:14:30,595 OK, thanks. 361 00:14:32,062 --> 00:14:33,929 So, what did you guys do tonight? 362 00:14:33,996 --> 00:14:35,328 Saw a movie. Loved it. 363 00:14:35,429 --> 00:14:37,162 Lot of explosions and loud noises. 364 00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:39,196 Not for you two. 365 00:14:39,264 --> 00:14:40,697 So how was your little dance party? 366 00:14:40,765 --> 00:14:41,996 It was great. 367 00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:43,597 Curt's a really great dancer. 368 00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:44,597 He's in great shape 369 00:14:44,664 --> 00:14:46,264 'cause he works out a lot. 370 00:14:46,332 --> 00:14:46,997 Oh, wow. 371 00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:48,065 Jeez. 372 00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:49,598 Well, Curt, what do you bench? 373 00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,798 Oh, um, about 180. 374 00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:53,264 180. Deac, how about you? 375 00:14:53,332 --> 00:14:54,532 I don't know. Like, 210. 376 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,631 210? 377 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,632 That's slightly more than Curt. 378 00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:02,332 Wow, Doug. 379 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,133 Your work wife can bench more 380 00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:06,199 than my work husband. 381 00:15:12,869 --> 00:15:13,968 Um, you know, 382 00:15:14,036 --> 00:15:16,501 I think I'm just gonna go check on our drinks. 383 00:15:20,570 --> 00:15:21,635 Work wife? 384 00:15:23,071 --> 00:15:24,279 Yeah, Curt is her work husband. 385 00:15:24,303 --> 00:15:25,504 You're my work wife. 386 00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:28,370 Do I like pinto beans or black beans? 387 00:15:30,239 --> 00:15:32,038 Work wife? 388 00:15:32,104 --> 00:15:34,238 Don't worry about it. It's fine. 389 00:15:34,305 --> 00:15:35,572 Oh, lookee here. 390 00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:37,406 Looks like Curt's found himself another date. 391 00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:39,739 Perfect. 392 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,082 I was having a great night with him 393 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,106 until you showed up. 394 00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:44,806 Work wife?! 395 00:15:44,874 --> 00:15:45,807 It's nothing. 396 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:46,973 Don't make a scene. 397 00:15:49,374 --> 00:15:50,818 I... I don't know what the hell's going on between you two, 398 00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:52,141 but don't drag me into this, 399 00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:54,008 and don't call me your work wife. 400 00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:59,241 If anything, you're my work wife. 401 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:05,009 Pee-wee. 402 00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,076 Who's the best Pee-wee? 403 00:16:07,143 --> 00:16:08,577 You're the best Pee-wee. 404 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:10,777 Excuse me? 405 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:11,854 Do you know what time it is? 406 00:16:11,878 --> 00:16:13,043 It's, uh... 407 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:22,712 It's a quarter past the hour of 2:00. 408 00:16:22,779 --> 00:16:24,879 Thanks. 409 00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:27,579 May I assume you walk dogs professionally? 410 00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:28,446 Yup. 411 00:16:28,514 --> 00:16:30,813 Would you happen to have any openings 412 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,014 in your group? 413 00:16:32,082 --> 00:16:34,114 Sure. Always room for one more. 414 00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:37,815 Uh, where's your dog? 415 00:16:37,882 --> 00:16:39,382 You're looking at him. 416 00:16:40,783 --> 00:16:42,182 Time to go, Arthur. 417 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,282 Actually, while you've been heaping love 418 00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:45,716 on your precious Pee-wee, 419 00:16:45,783 --> 00:16:47,583 I made other arrangements. 420 00:16:47,651 --> 00:16:49,382 This striking young lady 421 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:52,083 will be walking me henceforth. 422 00:16:52,152 --> 00:16:53,194 Arthur, are you actually saying 423 00:16:53,218 --> 00:16:55,317 that you're jealous of Pee-wee? 424 00:16:55,385 --> 00:16:57,418 Arthur, he's a dog. You're a person. 425 00:16:57,486 --> 00:16:58,417 Spin it any way you want. 426 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,719 It still stinks. 427 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:01,884 Oh, come on, Arthur. 428 00:17:01,952 --> 00:17:03,485 You know I love walking you. 429 00:17:03,553 --> 00:17:04,485 Prove it. 430 00:17:04,553 --> 00:17:06,286 Either he goes or I go. 431 00:17:06,353 --> 00:17:08,286 Well, I gotta say Pee-wee's owners 432 00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:10,653 do pay me slightly more than... 433 00:17:10,721 --> 00:17:12,053 yours. 434 00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:13,987 Fine. I'm out of here. 435 00:17:14,054 --> 00:17:16,021 Congratulations, Pee-wee. 436 00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:18,354 Enjoy it till she tosses you aside 437 00:17:18,422 --> 00:17:19,821 for the next young pup! 438 00:17:23,923 --> 00:17:27,156 Well... I'm yours. 439 00:17:27,224 --> 00:17:29,322 Which direction are we going? 440 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:30,957 I'm sorry. 441 00:17:31,024 --> 00:17:32,990 I don't walk people. 442 00:17:35,024 --> 00:17:38,057 I wish you'd told me that before. 443 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,525 Holly! 444 00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:41,992 So, we're offering you 445 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,491 a no-cost, 30-year refinance, 446 00:17:43,559 --> 00:17:45,192 and your last installment 447 00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:50,726 will be due in November of 2032. 448 00:17:50,794 --> 00:17:52,393 Before you sign this, look it over, 449 00:17:52,461 --> 00:17:54,161 see if you have any more questions. 450 00:17:54,228 --> 00:17:55,671 I just need to say hi to a camp friend 451 00:17:55,695 --> 00:17:57,161 who stopped by to visit. 452 00:18:02,096 --> 00:18:05,928 Thanks to you, Curt totally avoided me today. 453 00:18:05,996 --> 00:18:07,763 He didn't even get me my Starbucks 454 00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,262 like he usually does. 455 00:18:10,264 --> 00:18:12,164 Deacon called me an a-hole. 456 00:18:15,465 --> 00:18:17,064 Question for you, 457 00:18:17,131 --> 00:18:19,207 do you think it's wrong that we're about to sign a mortgage 458 00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:20,807 to live in a house together for 30 years, 459 00:18:20,831 --> 00:18:21,874 and it just came out this week 460 00:18:21,898 --> 00:18:23,830 that we've nothing in common? 461 00:18:23,898 --> 00:18:25,698 We have stuff in common. 462 00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:26,766 Oh, yeah. 463 00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:28,009 We both prefer the company of other people. 464 00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:29,498 We nailed that. 465 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,066 We have stuff in common. 466 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,067 Right? 467 00:18:33,134 --> 00:18:34,067 I don't know. 468 00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:35,176 What's all this stuff we have? 469 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,633 Well, OK, for one thing, 470 00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,667 we have a great sex life. 471 00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:40,374 OK, but what about when the sex goes away? 472 00:18:40,402 --> 00:18:42,234 Maybe it won't go away. Oh, please. 473 00:18:42,302 --> 00:18:43,068 Do you realize how brittle 474 00:18:43,136 --> 00:18:45,769 your bones will be in 30 years? 475 00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:47,502 I'll crush you to dust. 476 00:18:47,569 --> 00:18:49,335 What if we're just 477 00:18:49,403 --> 00:18:50,578 sitting across from each other 478 00:18:50,602 --> 00:18:52,103 30 years from now, 479 00:18:52,171 --> 00:18:53,202 bored to tears, 480 00:18:53,271 --> 00:18:55,702 your father's, like, 105, 481 00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:57,147 and he's hooked up to some machine in the kitchen, 482 00:18:57,171 --> 00:18:59,670 and I can't even get at the waffle maker. 483 00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:00,503 That a pretty picture for ya, huh? 484 00:19:00,571 --> 00:19:02,037 Doug, come on. This is stupid. 485 00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:03,738 We have a lot of stuff in common, 486 00:19:03,806 --> 00:19:05,104 a lot. 487 00:19:05,172 --> 00:19:06,439 In fact, you know what? 488 00:19:06,506 --> 00:19:08,238 Why don't we each make a list 489 00:19:08,306 --> 00:19:09,639 of our 10 favorite things, 490 00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:12,172 and if we don't have at least one match, 491 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,406 we do not sign these mortgage papers. 492 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,240 Fine. OK. 493 00:19:19,509 --> 00:19:21,241 Actually, let's make it 20. 494 00:19:23,475 --> 00:19:24,941 Number 18. 495 00:19:25,009 --> 00:19:25,941 OK, we got 3 more shots 496 00:19:26,009 --> 00:19:26,942 at making a match here. 497 00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:28,475 What do you got? 498 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,043 Sunsets. Sunsets?! 499 00:19:30,110 --> 00:19:31,742 What? What do you have? 500 00:19:31,809 --> 00:19:32,910 New car smell. 501 00:19:32,976 --> 00:19:34,543 What?! I can't believe you! 502 00:19:34,610 --> 00:19:35,476 You see a freakin' sunset 503 00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:36,576 every day of your life! 504 00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:38,310 New car smell. Now that's special! 505 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,787 All right, all right. Let's just calm down. 506 00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:42,077 We have 2 more left, all right? 507 00:19:42,144 --> 00:19:43,078 All right, number 19. 508 00:19:43,145 --> 00:19:44,744 What do you got? 509 00:19:44,812 --> 00:19:45,812 A good book. 510 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,179 Do you wanna live with me or not?! 511 00:19:51,247 --> 00:19:52,289 Yes, I wanna live with you. 512 00:19:52,313 --> 00:19:53,946 I love you, you idiot. 513 00:19:54,014 --> 00:19:55,213 Well, I love you, too! 514 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:55,980 Well, if you loved me, 515 00:19:56,047 --> 00:19:57,246 you'd wanna go salsa dancing 516 00:19:57,314 --> 00:19:58,413 once in a while. 517 00:19:58,481 --> 00:19:59,180 Well, if you loved me, 518 00:19:59,247 --> 00:20:00,881 you'd enjoy a nice can of SpaghettiOs 519 00:20:00,948 --> 00:20:02,081 from time to time. 520 00:20:02,148 --> 00:20:03,415 Well, if you loved me, 521 00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:05,081 you wouldn't have used 2 slots 522 00:20:05,149 --> 00:20:07,381 for SpaghettiOs and Beefaroni. 523 00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:09,614 They're different. 524 00:20:09,682 --> 00:20:11,981 If you loved me, you'd know that! 525 00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:16,149 OK, you folks ready to sign that mortgage? 526 00:20:16,217 --> 00:20:18,049 Not unless our number 20s match. 527 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,517 We got a whole thing going here. 528 00:20:19,584 --> 00:20:21,217 All right, what do you got, sister? 529 00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:26,284 You know what? 530 00:20:26,352 --> 00:20:29,052 I bet you our number 20s match. 531 00:20:30,419 --> 00:20:32,019 What? That's right. 532 00:20:32,087 --> 00:20:34,553 And even if they don't, 533 00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:35,718 it doesn't matter. 534 00:20:40,821 --> 00:20:41,921 Great. 535 00:20:41,988 --> 00:20:43,653 Well, we'll get this all processed, 536 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,154 and we'll mail you guys out a copy. 537 00:20:45,222 --> 00:20:46,153 OK, great. 538 00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:47,232 Well, thanks for your help. 539 00:20:47,256 --> 00:20:48,365 Thank you very much. See ya. 540 00:20:48,389 --> 00:20:49,488 Bye. Bye. 541 00:20:53,956 --> 00:20:56,289 You really mean that? It doesn't matter? 542 00:20:56,357 --> 00:21:00,456 Doug, you can't put this on a list. 543 00:21:02,024 --> 00:21:03,091 Just for kicks, 544 00:21:03,159 --> 00:21:05,723 do you wanna say what we had for number 20? 545 00:21:05,791 --> 00:21:07,591 OK. 546 00:21:07,658 --> 00:21:08,891 You first. 547 00:21:09,758 --> 00:21:10,992 Chamomile tea. 548 00:21:11,059 --> 00:21:12,125 Porno. Let's go. 549 00:21:16,259 --> 00:21:19,393 So I'm out of the nail place for, like, 5 minutes, 550 00:21:19,461 --> 00:21:21,860 and the nail polish on my thumbnail peels off. 551 00:21:21,928 --> 00:21:23,427 So I go back, and I'm like, 552 00:21:23,495 --> 00:21:24,726 "Can you fix this please?" 553 00:21:24,795 --> 00:21:26,460 And Susie... 554 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,596 I love you. 555 00:21:42,065 --> 00:21:44,963 But the main problem with the Socialist Party in the 1940s 556 00:21:45,031 --> 00:21:46,474 is that they didn't tailor their message 557 00:21:46,498 --> 00:21:47,763 to the common working man. 558 00:21:47,831 --> 00:21:49,198 Everything was very...