1 00:00:35,082 --> 00:00:36,417 Come on. 2 00:00:36,484 --> 00:00:38,752 How long's it take to find your kid a Halloween costume? 3 00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:40,521 Quit rushin' me, man. You're the one 4 00:00:40,588 --> 00:00:42,589 who took 20 minutes smelling shampoos. 5 00:00:42,657 --> 00:00:44,925 Let's go! 6 00:00:44,992 --> 00:00:46,692 I'm trying. He wants to be a superhero 7 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,994 and there are no black superheroes. 8 00:00:50,063 --> 00:00:51,096 How about this: 9 00:00:51,164 --> 00:00:52,799 Get him a leather coat, a turtleneck, 10 00:00:52,866 --> 00:00:54,066 let him go as shaft? 11 00:00:55,903 --> 00:00:58,504 I can't have my kid be shaft for Halloween. 12 00:00:58,571 --> 00:01:00,071 He can't be the black private dick 13 00:01:00,139 --> 00:01:02,007 that's a sex machine to all the chicks? 14 00:01:02,075 --> 00:01:03,108 He's 6. 15 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:05,110 Whatever. 16 00:01:10,682 --> 00:01:12,216 And how many kids are you expecting 17 00:01:12,284 --> 00:01:13,617 to come to your house? 18 00:01:13,685 --> 00:01:15,519 This isn't for the kids. This is for me. 19 00:01:16,121 --> 00:01:17,421 So if that's all for you, 20 00:01:17,489 --> 00:01:19,555 what do your trick-or-treaters get, the finger? 21 00:01:19,624 --> 00:01:20,790 Nah. 22 00:01:20,858 --> 00:01:22,391 We usually just shut the lights out 23 00:01:22,459 --> 00:01:24,260 and pretend we're not home. 24 00:01:24,328 --> 00:01:26,974 Does that mean Carrie's gotta take an occasional egg to the back of the head? 25 00:01:26,998 --> 00:01:29,032 Sure. But you know what? The trade-off's worth it. 26 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,233 Come on, man. My kid wants to come to your house 27 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,168 to trick-or-treat. Can't you do something 28 00:01:33,236 --> 00:01:35,203 to make the place look a little halloweenish? 29 00:01:35,271 --> 00:01:36,805 I mean, get a pumpkin at least. Damn. 30 00:01:36,873 --> 00:01:38,641 If it'll shut you up, I'll get a pumpkin. 31 00:01:38,708 --> 00:01:39,742 That's all? 32 00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:41,309 6 bucks? 33 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:43,645 It's an orange vegetable with a dent. 34 00:01:45,113 --> 00:01:46,180 So could we go, already? 35 00:01:46,248 --> 00:01:47,815 All right, all right. Ooh! 36 00:01:47,883 --> 00:01:49,784 I'll just give him Darth Vader. 37 00:01:49,852 --> 00:01:50,952 I mean, he's black, right? 38 00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:53,187 And James Earl Jones did his voice. 39 00:01:53,255 --> 00:01:56,823 But wait when his mask finally comes off, he's a white guy. 40 00:01:56,891 --> 00:01:57,902 What do you think? 41 00:01:57,926 --> 00:02:00,260 Let's go! 42 00:02:19,712 --> 00:02:21,345 Hey, how's it goin'? 43 00:02:21,881 --> 00:02:23,014 What is that? 44 00:02:23,081 --> 00:02:24,148 Oh, boy. 45 00:02:24,983 --> 00:02:26,651 It's a pumpkin. 46 00:02:26,719 --> 00:02:28,152 What is it doing in this house? 47 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,453 Dad... 48 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,655 It's a Halloween thing for the kids. What are you... 49 00:02:33,858 --> 00:02:35,893 There will be no Halloween in this house! 50 00:02:35,961 --> 00:02:38,128 You understand? It's forbidden. 51 00:02:38,196 --> 00:02:39,696 Forbidden! 52 00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:45,768 What the hell was that? 53 00:02:45,836 --> 00:02:47,904 Nothing. He just hates Halloween. That's all. 54 00:02:47,971 --> 00:02:50,238 Yes, I gleaned that. 55 00:02:50,306 --> 00:02:52,707 It doesn't give him the right to smash my pumpkin, does it? 56 00:02:52,775 --> 00:02:54,743 Does it? All right! Calm down. 57 00:02:54,811 --> 00:02:57,278 It's a pumpkin, not your entenmann's cake. 58 00:02:59,449 --> 00:03:02,716 We never do Halloween, anyway. Why do you care so much? 59 00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:05,286 I don't. I just got it 'cause Deacon's bringin' Kirby over. 60 00:03:05,354 --> 00:03:06,888 Now I gotta go get another one. 61 00:03:06,955 --> 00:03:08,356 And maybe an entenmann's cake. 62 00:03:09,925 --> 00:03:11,392 Don't get another pumpkin, Doug. 63 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:12,693 Why not? Just don't. 64 00:03:12,761 --> 00:03:16,363 Why? Why? 'Cause it's forbidden by wrinkles McGee? 65 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,431 Why do you wanna upset him so much? 66 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,367 I mean, Kirby can see a pumpkin anywhere. 67 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,535 This town is stupid with pumpkins. 68 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,836 That's not the point, ok? 69 00:03:23,905 --> 00:03:26,071 I'm sick of him and his forbidding things. 70 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,540 First, we can only buy an American-made v.C.R. 71 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:31,176 Hey, the dug an-Edwards works pretty well. 72 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,346 Oh, yeah, it's great 73 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,380 if you don't need it to "rewind" or "play." 74 00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:39,650 Let's not forget: 75 00:03:39,718 --> 00:03:42,720 No red pens, no soft cheese, no mention of f.D.R.'S polio. 76 00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:44,455 All right, so he's got some quirks. 77 00:03:44,523 --> 00:03:46,357 Suddenly, this is news to you? 78 00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:47,691 I'm just sick of it, Carrie. 79 00:03:47,758 --> 00:03:49,927 You know, at some point, someone's gotta take a stand 80 00:03:49,994 --> 00:03:51,695 against that lunatic, and you know what? 81 00:03:51,762 --> 00:03:53,663 I'm takin' that stand. I'm gettin' a pumpkin. 82 00:03:53,731 --> 00:03:54,798 Oh, so that's your stand? 83 00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:56,143 Your big stand is for Halloween? 84 00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:57,167 That's right. 85 00:03:57,235 --> 00:03:58,767 World hunger, no, but... but Halloween, 86 00:03:58,836 --> 00:03:59,836 that's your cause? 87 00:03:59,903 --> 00:04:01,137 They're both important. 88 00:04:01,205 --> 00:04:03,472 Right now, I'm focusing on Halloween. 89 00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:05,407 Doug, honey, I am begging you. 90 00:04:05,475 --> 00:04:07,809 You've gotta pick your battles with my father. 91 00:04:07,877 --> 00:04:09,544 This is not worth fighting for. 92 00:04:11,213 --> 00:04:12,446 Fine. 93 00:04:15,684 --> 00:04:17,451 Fun-sized kit-kats. 94 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,521 Also forbidden! 95 00:04:29,597 --> 00:04:32,398 Costume-shopping twice in one week. 96 00:04:32,466 --> 00:04:36,302 If this is a dream, do not wake me up. 97 00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:38,838 Give me a break, will ya? Darth Vader made him cry. 98 00:04:38,906 --> 00:04:40,373 Too scary. 99 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:41,774 I hear that. 100 00:04:41,842 --> 00:04:43,442 By the way, don't bother bringin' him 101 00:04:43,510 --> 00:04:44,910 by the house this year. Why not? 102 00:04:44,978 --> 00:04:46,345 Stupid Arthur smashed the pumpkin 103 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,746 all over our backyard. 104 00:04:47,813 --> 00:04:49,047 Huge mess. 105 00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:50,349 Plus the neighborhood cats 106 00:04:50,383 --> 00:04:53,218 are takin' their sweet-ass time lickin' it up. 107 00:04:53,285 --> 00:04:55,786 He smashed the pumpkin? What's that guy's problem? 108 00:04:55,854 --> 00:04:58,488 Apparently, he's forbidden Halloween in my house. 109 00:04:58,556 --> 00:05:00,624 Man, I've never understood how you let someone 110 00:05:00,692 --> 00:05:02,626 push you around who's just sponging off you 111 00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:03,694 in the first place. 112 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,095 Oh, I'm gettin' pushed around? 113 00:05:05,163 --> 00:05:06,595 You're the one who's runnin' 114 00:05:06,664 --> 00:05:08,608 back and forth to a drugstore trying to find a costume 115 00:05:08,632 --> 00:05:10,066 for someone who, let's face it, 116 00:05:10,134 --> 00:05:11,600 is totally spongin' off of you. 117 00:05:11,669 --> 00:05:13,636 You mean my kid? 118 00:05:13,671 --> 00:05:16,139 That's right. Cold glass of water, isn't it? 119 00:05:16,207 --> 00:05:18,240 Ok, first of all, Kirby's in grade school. 120 00:05:18,308 --> 00:05:20,376 And second, he actually doesn't sponge off of us. 121 00:05:20,443 --> 00:05:22,378 He does a lot to help out around the house. 122 00:05:22,445 --> 00:05:23,912 Like what? 123 00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:26,281 Cleans his room, makes his bed, rinses his dinner plates. 124 00:05:26,349 --> 00:05:27,816 He does? Yeah. 125 00:05:27,884 --> 00:05:30,851 Son of a mother! 126 00:05:30,919 --> 00:05:32,320 Arthur doesn't do any of that. 127 00:05:32,388 --> 00:05:34,855 I mean, the guy contributes nothing to our house, 128 00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:37,758 except the smell of brylcreem and old. 129 00:05:39,928 --> 00:05:42,428 Man, he is wearin' me like a sombrero. 130 00:05:44,598 --> 00:05:46,099 Black power ranger. 131 00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:47,901 I guess I'll give this a shot. 132 00:05:57,978 --> 00:06:00,045 A little witchy-witch action. 133 00:06:02,882 --> 00:06:04,949 You, my friend, can go right over here. 134 00:06:05,017 --> 00:06:08,452 Oh, 'cause we are takin' back the house tonight. Slim, huh? 135 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,553 Yeah! 136 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:15,692 Trick or treat. 137 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,761 Hey, my first customer! 138 00:06:17,829 --> 00:06:19,563 Who are you supposed to be there, kirb? 139 00:06:19,631 --> 00:06:20,997 A powerpuff girl. 140 00:06:22,933 --> 00:06:24,334 We, uh, 141 00:06:24,401 --> 00:06:27,069 to-fought about this for 7 straight hours. 142 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,837 Which powerpuff girl are you, kirb? 143 00:06:28,939 --> 00:06:30,038 Blossom. 144 00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:33,008 Blossom? 145 00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:34,577 Cool. 146 00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,312 All right, well, here you go, blossom. 147 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:39,247 Take whatever you like. 148 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,649 A... a Mary Jane, Kirby? Take the 3 musketeers. 149 00:06:41,717 --> 00:06:42,884 I want a Mary Jane. 150 00:06:42,952 --> 00:06:45,053 No. No. He wants the three musketeers. 151 00:06:45,121 --> 00:06:46,721 3 men in tights? 152 00:06:46,789 --> 00:06:48,689 Feels like a lateral move, Deac. 153 00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:49,790 Thanks. 154 00:06:50,925 --> 00:06:51,993 Hello? 155 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,060 It's Arthur. I gotta go. 156 00:06:53,128 --> 00:06:54,128 Yeah. Come on, Kirby. 157 00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,196 Bye. 158 00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:56,297 See you later. 159 00:06:58,533 --> 00:07:00,433 It's showtime. 160 00:07:01,602 --> 00:07:02,768 Hey, Arthur. 161 00:07:04,338 --> 00:07:05,372 Hello, Douglas. 162 00:07:05,439 --> 00:07:06,939 Hey, look, if you've gotta second, 163 00:07:07,008 --> 00:07:09,175 you might want to mosey on into the living room. 164 00:07:09,243 --> 00:07:10,410 What for? 165 00:07:10,478 --> 00:07:12,378 'Cause I just think there's somethin' in there 166 00:07:12,445 --> 00:07:13,845 that might interest ya. Come on. 167 00:07:34,032 --> 00:07:36,399 Hey, I like your costume. 168 00:07:38,402 --> 00:07:40,203 I.P.S. Driver. That's hilarious. 169 00:07:40,271 --> 00:07:42,105 Hey, if you really want to be convincing, 170 00:07:42,173 --> 00:07:44,407 make sure your candy gets to the kids 3 days late. 171 00:07:44,475 --> 00:07:46,108 Right. 172 00:07:50,379 --> 00:07:52,681 Doug, how's my dad? Is everything ok? 173 00:07:52,749 --> 00:07:54,149 Yeah, he's fine. He's fine, ok? 174 00:07:54,217 --> 00:07:56,085 The doctor's in there now checking him out. 175 00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:59,220 He had what they called, uh, a heart ischemia. 176 00:07:59,287 --> 00:08:01,089 A heart ischemia? 177 00:08:01,156 --> 00:08:02,890 What the hell is that? Did he tell you? 178 00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:04,792 Yeah. Yeah. He said it's not that serious. 179 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:08,562 It's just when the heart a-a-and the ischemia part 180 00:08:08,629 --> 00:08:10,263 of the heart... 181 00:08:10,331 --> 00:08:14,033 It doesn't throb in the traditional... 182 00:08:14,669 --> 00:08:16,269 I don't know. 183 00:08:16,337 --> 00:08:18,905 Would you listen when the man talks to you? 184 00:08:18,973 --> 00:08:20,105 Hi. I'm Dr. Davis. 185 00:08:20,173 --> 00:08:21,674 Are you Mr. Spooner's daughter? 186 00:08:21,741 --> 00:08:23,709 Yes. Is... is he ok? Is everything all right? 187 00:08:23,844 --> 00:08:25,154 Yes. Your father's stable right now. 188 00:08:25,178 --> 00:08:26,812 His condition isn't life-threatening, 189 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,915 but we are going to keep him here to run some tests 190 00:08:28,982 --> 00:08:30,315 tomorrow just so we can find out 191 00:08:30,383 --> 00:08:32,083 exactly what's going on. 192 00:08:32,151 --> 00:08:33,871 Ok, do you know what could have caused this? 193 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,000 Oh, for God's sake, Carrie, 194 00:08:35,054 --> 00:08:36,654 there's no reason to live in the past. 195 00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:38,323 Whatever happened, happened. 196 00:08:38,390 --> 00:08:40,224 Just shut up. I wanna know. 197 00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:41,403 What... what could've caused it? 198 00:08:41,427 --> 00:08:42,826 Probably salt or somethin', right? 199 00:08:42,894 --> 00:08:44,595 I mean, the man likes his pickles. 200 00:08:44,662 --> 00:08:46,463 Well, these things are usually brought on 201 00:08:46,531 --> 00:08:48,099 by some sort of shock to the system. 202 00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:50,201 Actually, he said his son-in-law 203 00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:51,735 tried to scare him to death. 204 00:08:53,403 --> 00:08:54,770 Anyhow, he's awake now, 205 00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,873 so you can head on in and say hello. 206 00:08:56,941 --> 00:08:57,941 Ok. 207 00:09:04,381 --> 00:09:06,214 Doctors. 208 00:09:06,282 --> 00:09:07,982 They think they're God. 209 00:09:11,187 --> 00:09:12,487 What'd you do, Doug? 210 00:09:12,555 --> 00:09:13,755 Nothing. Doug! 211 00:09:13,823 --> 00:09:15,824 I put up a few Halloween decorations. That's all. 212 00:09:15,892 --> 00:09:17,825 Your father walked in, he saw a paper ghost 213 00:09:17,893 --> 00:09:18,926 and he just dropped! 214 00:09:18,994 --> 00:09:20,127 Oh, my God. 215 00:09:20,195 --> 00:09:21,495 Carrie, it was a paper ghost. 216 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:23,564 He might as well have been scared by an envelope. 217 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,967 I asked you not to push him on this Halloween thing. 218 00:09:27,035 --> 00:09:28,602 Why couldn't you just let it go? 219 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,170 Because it's my house, ok? And he doesn't respect that. 220 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,406 The... the man doesn't even rinse his dishes. 221 00:09:33,474 --> 00:09:34,741 Neither do you. 222 00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:37,143 I do. 223 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,677 I did that time. 224 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,182 Hi, daddy. 225 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,784 How you doin'? 226 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,253 Been better. 227 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,087 I know. 228 00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:51,589 But you're gonna be fine. 229 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,590 Listen, can you do me a little favor? 230 00:09:53,658 --> 00:09:55,192 Sure. 231 00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,195 Could you go through my address book 232 00:09:57,262 --> 00:09:59,631 and call all my friends and my loved ones? 233 00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:00,765 Don't alarm them. 234 00:10:00,832 --> 00:10:03,633 Just bring them up to speed on my predicament. 235 00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:05,035 Sure. 236 00:10:05,102 --> 00:10:06,570 Anything else? 237 00:10:06,637 --> 00:10:08,171 I'd love a pack of sen-sen 238 00:10:08,238 --> 00:10:09,906 and the latest issue of gent. 239 00:10:11,275 --> 00:10:13,109 Ok, I don't know 240 00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:15,011 what either of those things are, 241 00:10:15,078 --> 00:10:17,246 but I will do my best. 242 00:10:17,314 --> 00:10:18,714 Ok, get some rest. 243 00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:21,217 I love you. 244 00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:23,319 I'm just gonna talk to him for a couple secs. 245 00:10:23,386 --> 00:10:24,419 Be nice. I will. 246 00:10:34,797 --> 00:10:36,463 All right, Arthur, I get it. 247 00:10:36,531 --> 00:10:37,998 Cold shoulder, ok? 248 00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:39,800 Look, I... I feel bad, all right? 249 00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:43,637 I'm sorry I made you have a heart... Thing. 250 00:10:44,906 --> 00:10:46,206 I'm... I'm sorry. 251 00:10:47,273 --> 00:10:49,475 Arthur, I'm apologizing to you. 252 00:10:49,543 --> 00:10:51,110 You know? But you gotta admit, 253 00:10:51,178 --> 00:10:53,512 you went a little insane over some Halloween decorations... 254 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:56,148 All right. 255 00:10:56,216 --> 00:10:58,416 You just can't keep doing things like... would you stop? 256 00:10:58,484 --> 00:10:59,818 Could you please stop moving? 257 00:10:59,886 --> 00:11:02,020 Arthur. All right, forget it! Ok, forget it. 258 00:11:02,088 --> 00:11:04,189 I tried to talk to you, but you just won't listen, 259 00:11:04,257 --> 00:11:05,957 so, you know, I'm outta here, ok? 260 00:11:06,659 --> 00:11:08,493 Douglas! 261 00:11:08,561 --> 00:11:09,693 Yeah. 262 00:11:09,761 --> 00:11:11,495 Did I ever tell you about my father? 263 00:11:14,098 --> 00:11:15,533 No. 264 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,102 The man was a rotten gambler. 265 00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,871 Oh, sure, once in a while he'd stumble on a winner 266 00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,605 and toss a nickel my way. 267 00:11:22,673 --> 00:11:24,040 Before he could change his mind, 268 00:11:24,108 --> 00:11:25,408 I'd run down to Gabe's pizzeria 269 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,777 for some lemon ices. 270 00:11:27,878 --> 00:11:31,348 Nothing ever tasted better. 271 00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:32,914 You ever been to Gabe's? 272 00:11:32,982 --> 00:11:34,516 It's a Bronx landmark. 273 00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:35,985 Gabe's pizzeria? 274 00:11:36,052 --> 00:11:37,752 I... I don't think so. 275 00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,221 They have a picture of a chimp 276 00:11:39,288 --> 00:11:41,623 with a big Italian moustache in the window. 277 00:11:42,992 --> 00:11:44,192 It's hilarious. 278 00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:45,626 Ok. All right. 279 00:11:45,694 --> 00:11:49,263 You do understand chimps don't usually have moustaches? 280 00:11:50,532 --> 00:11:52,533 I get the funny. I just, uh... 281 00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,669 Wh-where... where are you goin' with this, Arthur? 282 00:11:54,736 --> 00:11:58,705 Well, as I said, my father was usually broke. 283 00:11:58,772 --> 00:12:02,308 One Halloween, when I was 8, things were especially bad. 284 00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:04,577 It looked like we might go hungry. 285 00:12:04,645 --> 00:12:06,245 In those days, on Halloween, 286 00:12:06,312 --> 00:12:08,214 people would give out apples and cakes, 287 00:12:08,281 --> 00:12:11,483 and sometimes, even a penny. 288 00:12:11,518 --> 00:12:14,153 My father made me go trick-or-treating 289 00:12:14,221 --> 00:12:16,989 till my feet were numb. 290 00:12:17,057 --> 00:12:19,457 I had to change costumes a few times 291 00:12:19,525 --> 00:12:21,226 so I could repeat houses. 292 00:12:23,629 --> 00:12:25,963 But the neighbors knew. 293 00:12:26,031 --> 00:12:27,565 I tell you, Douglas, 294 00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:30,534 it doesn't feel good to be pitied. 295 00:12:30,602 --> 00:12:33,737 So you'll forgive me if I don't share your love 296 00:12:33,805 --> 00:12:36,640 for a holiday called Halloween. 297 00:12:40,144 --> 00:12:41,644 I'm feelin' a little punk. 298 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,647 Good night. 299 00:13:01,764 --> 00:13:03,931 So you knew that's why he hated Halloween? 300 00:13:03,999 --> 00:13:05,166 Why didn't you tell me? 301 00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:06,233 It's a horrible story. 302 00:13:06,301 --> 00:13:07,701 I didn't want to embarrass him. 303 00:13:07,769 --> 00:13:09,803 Now you don't want to embarrass him? 304 00:13:09,871 --> 00:13:11,505 Last week you sent me down there 305 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:14,540 to apply ointment to his inflamed area. 306 00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:17,743 This is different. 307 00:13:17,811 --> 00:13:20,480 I didn't think I had to tell you a tragic story 308 00:13:20,548 --> 00:13:22,715 to keep you from trying to make his heart stop. 309 00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,583 It was a paper ghost. 310 00:13:24,651 --> 00:13:26,417 Here, is this scary to you? Look! 311 00:13:26,485 --> 00:13:29,354 It's wavin' at ya. "How-do?" 312 00:13:29,421 --> 00:13:32,090 Ok, well, why doesn't he "how-do" in the garbage? All right? 313 00:13:32,158 --> 00:13:35,093 Now I gotta start makin' these calls for my dad. 314 00:13:35,161 --> 00:13:36,694 I just... 315 00:13:36,763 --> 00:13:38,763 I feel so bad. 316 00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:40,231 I mean, all these years 317 00:13:40,298 --> 00:13:41,632 I thought Arthur was being insane 318 00:13:41,699 --> 00:13:43,367 just to annoy me. 319 00:13:43,434 --> 00:13:45,269 Never thought that things in his life 320 00:13:45,336 --> 00:13:47,071 actually made him that way. 321 00:13:47,139 --> 00:13:49,205 Oh, God, I can't get that image out of my mind 322 00:13:49,273 --> 00:13:51,407 of little Arthur in his beanie hat 323 00:13:51,475 --> 00:13:53,076 running down to that Gabe's pizzeria 324 00:13:53,144 --> 00:13:54,244 with a nickel in his hand. 325 00:13:54,312 --> 00:13:56,513 Lemon ices! 326 00:13:58,416 --> 00:13:59,982 All right, he sounds like that now. 327 00:14:00,049 --> 00:14:02,318 I don't think he did when he was 8. 328 00:14:05,788 --> 00:14:07,022 Where are you goin'? 329 00:14:07,090 --> 00:14:08,324 I need some air. 330 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,562 Uh, hello. Uh, is this dot tie greco? 331 00:14:14,629 --> 00:14:17,898 Hi. Yeah. I have some not-so-good news, um, 332 00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:20,168 about your friend Arthur Spooner. 333 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:23,269 Yeah. He's in the hospital with a minor heart problem. 334 00:14:23,337 --> 00:14:25,539 He's not in any... huh? 335 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,940 Uh, no. 336 00:14:28,008 --> 00:14:30,010 I don't know if he still has your redd foxx album. 337 00:14:30,111 --> 00:14:33,280 But that's not really why I was calling. 338 00:14:33,347 --> 00:14:35,581 No, I'm not gonna go look for it now. 339 00:14:35,649 --> 00:14:37,683 I'm trying to tell you something that... 340 00:14:38,318 --> 00:14:39,519 Hello? 341 00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:45,725 Ok, please tell me 342 00:14:45,791 --> 00:14:47,259 that was the right Gabe's pizzeria. 343 00:14:47,326 --> 00:14:48,826 Nope. The guy said 344 00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:50,762 he's only been in business since '83. 345 00:14:50,829 --> 00:14:53,432 F.Y.I.: Danny aiello's had a slice there. 346 00:14:53,499 --> 00:14:55,267 All right, so where's the next Gabe's? 347 00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:56,867 All right, the next one is 348 00:14:56,935 --> 00:14:59,370 "original Gabe's, 2850 kings bridge road." 349 00:14:59,437 --> 00:15:00,604 There's an original Gabe's? 350 00:15:00,671 --> 00:15:02,572 Why the hell didn't we start with that one? 351 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,174 Because there's 4 original Gabe's. 352 00:15:04,242 --> 00:15:05,575 Can't we just go to any of them? 353 00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,378 No! I gotta get him lemon ices 354 00:15:07,445 --> 00:15:09,245 from the same place he got 'em as a kid! 355 00:15:09,313 --> 00:15:10,446 I owe it to him. 356 00:15:10,514 --> 00:15:12,458 It's the least I can do for almost killin' the guy. 357 00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:14,050 A Buck's worth of lemon ices? 358 00:15:14,118 --> 00:15:15,885 Actually, that is the least you can do. 359 00:15:15,953 --> 00:15:18,054 You know what? You said you'd help, all right? 360 00:15:18,122 --> 00:15:20,555 You don't wanna help, I'll take you home. 361 00:15:20,623 --> 00:15:22,924 I don't feel like bein' home right now anyway. 362 00:15:22,992 --> 00:15:25,293 This thing with Kirby's got me kinda rattled. 363 00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:26,795 I'm afraid I'll walk in the door 364 00:15:26,863 --> 00:15:28,429 and he'll be wearing a girdle. 365 00:15:28,497 --> 00:15:29,931 Hey, take it easy, all right? 366 00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:31,932 Just 'cause he wants to be a girl superhero 367 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,333 doesn't mean he's gay. 368 00:15:33,401 --> 00:15:35,136 You know they say that most drag queens 369 00:15:35,203 --> 00:15:37,704 are actually straight? 370 00:15:37,773 --> 00:15:39,774 That's supposed to make me feel better? 371 00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:41,841 A little. 372 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,677 Arthur Spooner. 373 00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:49,082 S-p-o-o-n-e-r. 374 00:15:49,217 --> 00:15:50,717 Same name as you! 375 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,654 Oh, now, come on. Don't say that. 376 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:58,524 That's not nice at all. 377 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,492 Trick or treat! 378 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,728 Oh, what great costumes. 379 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,496 Listen, the man might die, 380 00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,798 then how would you feel, huh? 381 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:09,334 What are you, a witch? 382 00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:10,501 Scary. 383 00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:13,071 Oh, you would, too, give a rat's ass! 384 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,708 Stuart little right here in my house. 385 00:16:18,776 --> 00:16:20,143 Oh, would you stop your whining? 386 00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:21,979 He taught me to swim the same way. 387 00:16:22,046 --> 00:16:23,746 It's called tough love, you idiot. 388 00:16:23,814 --> 00:16:25,148 Happy Halloween. 389 00:16:31,722 --> 00:16:32,921 Was that it? 390 00:16:32,989 --> 00:16:35,991 Nope. That was Gabe's oriental massage. 391 00:16:37,294 --> 00:16:38,627 Danny aiello's been there, too. 392 00:16:41,997 --> 00:16:43,264 Ok, you know what? 393 00:16:43,332 --> 00:16:44,765 Just send your ex-business partner 394 00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:46,033 a Friggin' card, ok? 395 00:16:47,436 --> 00:16:48,436 Get a pen. 396 00:16:48,471 --> 00:16:51,037 Never mind who this is. Get a pen! 397 00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:54,141 Trick or treat! 398 00:16:54,209 --> 00:16:55,875 I'm gonna need about 15 minutes. 399 00:17:08,022 --> 00:17:09,588 I told you we'd find it. 400 00:17:09,656 --> 00:17:11,024 Feel kinda stupid now, don't ya? 401 00:17:11,091 --> 00:17:13,691 Actually, I stopped caring 5 gabes ago. 402 00:17:13,759 --> 00:17:14,993 Hey, how you doin'? 403 00:17:15,061 --> 00:17:16,928 A pint of lemon ices, please. 404 00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:18,063 We're closed. 405 00:17:18,131 --> 00:17:20,032 You know what? We're headed right back out 406 00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:21,933 as soon as you hook us up with some ices. 407 00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:23,635 Lem-eon-eonee-on! 408 00:17:23,702 --> 00:17:24,835 Buddy, do me a favor. 409 00:17:24,903 --> 00:17:26,803 I already z'd out the register. 410 00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:28,406 He already z'd out the register. 411 00:17:28,473 --> 00:17:29,740 Hey! Ok, would you, please? 412 00:17:29,807 --> 00:17:31,275 Look, here... Here's the deal. 413 00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,044 There's an old man 414 00:17:33,111 --> 00:17:35,412 who used to come to this place when he was a kid, 415 00:17:35,479 --> 00:17:37,914 and eating these lemon ices was the one bright spot 416 00:17:37,981 --> 00:17:40,149 in his whole rotten childhood. 417 00:17:40,217 --> 00:17:43,086 That man is lying in a bed right now in a hospital 418 00:17:43,988 --> 00:17:45,888 with a heart ischemia. 419 00:17:46,890 --> 00:17:49,058 That's right, a heart ischemia. 420 00:17:50,459 --> 00:17:52,627 What do you say, friend, huh? Come on. 421 00:17:54,297 --> 00:17:56,732 I had a heart ischemia. 422 00:17:56,799 --> 00:17:57,933 It ain't that bad. 423 00:17:59,968 --> 00:18:02,002 I'm beggin' ya. One cup of ices. 424 00:18:02,070 --> 00:18:03,070 I said no! 425 00:18:03,138 --> 00:18:04,572 Try path mark. 426 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,441 Come on. Let's just go to path mark. 427 00:18:06,508 --> 00:18:08,843 I need sucrets anyway. I think I'm gettin' sick. 428 00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:11,845 All right. 429 00:18:11,912 --> 00:18:13,980 The dumpster's all the way down there. 430 00:18:14,048 --> 00:18:15,449 What are you doin'? 431 00:18:15,516 --> 00:18:17,451 I'm gettin' my father-in-law some lemon ices. 432 00:18:17,518 --> 00:18:19,919 What the hell are you doin', man? That-that's stealing. 433 00:18:19,987 --> 00:18:22,455 Not if I leave him 20 bucks, it's not. 434 00:18:22,522 --> 00:18:24,022 You'll spot me 20? 435 00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,291 Fine. 436 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:26,592 Hurry up, will ya? 437 00:18:27,961 --> 00:18:29,395 Ok. 438 00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:31,564 Wait a second! This is pineapple! 439 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,097 So? Get him pineapple. 440 00:18:33,165 --> 00:18:34,666 The man wants lemon! 441 00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:39,371 This is banana! Damn it, they're all yellow! 442 00:18:39,438 --> 00:18:40,739 Will you hurry up? 443 00:18:40,806 --> 00:18:42,774 Well, there it is. Lemon. There's lemon. Ok. 444 00:18:42,841 --> 00:18:43,940 Let's go. 445 00:18:44,008 --> 00:18:45,085 Ooh, it's a little gooey... 446 00:18:45,109 --> 00:18:46,209 Let's go! Ok! 447 00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:52,750 Hey, could I get a slice and a coke, please? 448 00:18:53,951 --> 00:18:56,719 Uh, sorry. We're closed. 449 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:58,988 Aw, come on, man. I just got off my shift. 450 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,825 Guy, I already z'd out the register. 451 00:19:05,996 --> 00:19:08,363 Ok, fine. 452 00:19:20,842 --> 00:19:22,009 "Coke," you said? 453 00:19:22,076 --> 00:19:23,210 Yeah. 454 00:19:23,278 --> 00:19:24,712 Pepsi, ok? 455 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:25,979 Sure. 456 00:19:41,394 --> 00:19:43,161 You havin' a good Halloween? 457 00:19:43,296 --> 00:19:44,696 Oh, yeah, sure, you know. 458 00:19:44,764 --> 00:19:46,865 Got stuck in traffic comin' home, though. 459 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:49,001 They're havin' that big gay pride parade downtown. 460 00:19:49,068 --> 00:19:51,869 Oh, man, that's a wild scene, I gotta tell ya. 461 00:19:53,071 --> 00:19:54,205 My son's gay. 462 00:19:56,508 --> 00:19:57,575 Oh, yeah? 463 00:19:57,643 --> 00:19:59,610 Yeah, yeah. 464 00:19:59,678 --> 00:20:01,779 Great kid. Great kid. Hmm. 465 00:20:02,447 --> 00:20:03,980 I love him a lot. 466 00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:08,384 Hey! Open the door! 467 00:20:08,452 --> 00:20:10,387 You know what? We, uh, we gotta go. 468 00:20:32,541 --> 00:20:33,942 Hey! 469 00:20:33,976 --> 00:20:35,810 I got you somethin'. 470 00:20:35,877 --> 00:20:38,144 I think you're gonna like it, pal. 471 00:20:58,231 --> 00:20:59,697 He's fine. 472 00:21:00,732 --> 00:21:02,801 He had another slight episode, 473 00:21:02,869 --> 00:21:05,036 but thankfully, there was no additional damage 474 00:21:05,104 --> 00:21:06,170 to the heart. 475 00:21:06,238 --> 00:21:07,439 Oh! Thank God. 476 00:21:07,507 --> 00:21:10,275 But it might be a good idea to stop scaring him. 477 00:21:12,744 --> 00:21:14,478 Thank you, doctor. 478 00:21:18,516 --> 00:21:20,884 It was a paper bag! 479 00:21:30,594 --> 00:21:31,860 So what do you think? 480 00:21:34,130 --> 00:21:35,630 Delicious, Douglas. 481 00:21:35,698 --> 00:21:36,898 Thank you. 482 00:21:38,835 --> 00:21:41,903 This really takes me back. 483 00:21:55,483 --> 00:21:57,383 Lemon ices!