1 00:00:03,073 --> 00:00:04,974 If eatin' hot dogs is wrong, 2 00:00:05,041 --> 00:00:07,176 I don't wanna be right. 3 00:00:07,244 --> 00:00:09,844 Man, I read an article on what actually goes into a hot dog... 4 00:00:09,911 --> 00:00:12,444 Hey, man! That's none of our concern. 5 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,813 Hey, listen, on Saturday I'm takin' my brother's boat out. 6 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,181 You guys wanna go water skiing? 7 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:17,748 Not me. Not me. 8 00:00:17,815 --> 00:00:20,716 Hey, let me... let me tell you about the one time I went water skiing. 9 00:00:20,784 --> 00:00:23,752 Or as I like to call it my 40-mile-an-hour enema. 10 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,854 I'm in the water, right? I'm adjustin' my vest, 11 00:00:27,922 --> 00:00:30,622 and the guys I'm with, they... they... they just take off, you know. 12 00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:32,340 So I'm screamin', "stop, stop!" 13 00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:33,825 And they're like... Hey, guys. 14 00:00:33,892 --> 00:00:36,392 Hey. Listen, I'm telling my water skiing story. 15 00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:38,928 Oh, did you throw in your 40-mile-an-hour enema line yet? 16 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,029 Yes, I did, and it was very well received. 17 00:00:42,664 --> 00:00:44,809 Finally, I get up for, like, 2 seconds, and then I wipe out. 18 00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:46,099 I hit the water, 19 00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:48,299 my bathing suit literally explodes on impact. 20 00:00:48,367 --> 00:00:49,835 So I'm just floatin' there, and I... 21 00:00:49,902 --> 00:00:51,268 Oh, do the floaty thing. 22 00:00:51,336 --> 00:00:55,071 Oh, I'm... I'm like this. Whoa, whoa, I'm floatin'. 23 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,740 And I realize I scream exactly the same 24 00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,540 if a great white is gonna attack me 25 00:00:59,608 --> 00:01:01,775 or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. 26 00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:04,176 Same scream. 27 00:01:05,579 --> 00:01:07,378 All right, I'm gonna go finish packing. 28 00:01:07,446 --> 00:01:08,612 I wanna leave early tomorrow. 29 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,146 Bye, you guys. Later, carr. 30 00:01:10,215 --> 00:01:11,714 Where you guys goin'? 31 00:01:11,782 --> 00:01:13,809 Oh, Carrie's got a retreat with her law firm upstate. 32 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:14,933 Sounds brutal. 33 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,467 Yeah, but it's a big deal for her. 34 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,575 Listen, Deac, could I get you to check in on Arthur? 35 00:01:18,602 --> 00:01:22,538 There's no, uh, washing or wiping involved, is there? 36 00:01:22,605 --> 00:01:24,489 No, he's still on top of that. Ok. 37 00:01:24,556 --> 00:01:26,106 All right, who needs another brew? 38 00:01:26,174 --> 00:01:27,174 Oh, right here. 39 00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:28,475 All righty. 40 00:01:29,843 --> 00:01:31,142 Oh, look. 41 00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:33,877 Look at the tie I bought you for the retreat. 42 00:01:33,945 --> 00:01:36,245 It's gonna go great with your brown jacket. 43 00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:38,030 Yeah, the, uh, brown jacket 44 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,298 doesn't close in the traditional sense anymore. 45 00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:44,667 What? Why didn't you tell me that before? I could have had it altered. 46 00:01:44,735 --> 00:01:45,802 I'll wear my blue jacket. 47 00:01:45,870 --> 00:01:47,603 What're you getting so worked up about? 48 00:01:47,670 --> 00:01:49,236 Because, Doug, this is the first time 49 00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:51,671 I've been invited to... to... to a work function 50 00:01:51,739 --> 00:01:53,440 where I'm actually a guest. 51 00:01:53,508 --> 00:01:55,490 Where my name will just be Carrie. 52 00:01:55,558 --> 00:01:57,792 Not "Carrie, coffee, now!" 53 00:01:58,561 --> 00:01:59,959 Ok, ok. 54 00:02:00,027 --> 00:02:02,428 Well, if any of the senior partners are gonna be there, 55 00:02:02,496 --> 00:02:04,462 you know, I wanna work for one of these guys. 56 00:02:04,530 --> 00:02:06,164 Their secretaries make a lot of money. 57 00:02:06,232 --> 00:02:08,499 They have their own offices. They're on the lunch list! 58 00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,366 Ok, honey, I'm with you. 59 00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:14,468 I'll go. I'll... I'll dress up. I'll be your trophy husband. 60 00:02:14,536 --> 00:02:16,437 I know that's why you married me. 61 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:18,938 Thanks, honey. 62 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,472 You-you're being great about this. 63 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:23,274 Come on, I love you, you know. I'm here for you. 64 00:02:23,342 --> 00:02:26,859 Oh, oh, and I... I bought you another thing for the trip. 65 00:02:27,728 --> 00:02:28,895 A book? 66 00:02:28,963 --> 00:02:30,963 Yeah. Yeah. I heard it's supposed to be great. 67 00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:33,030 It's about those guys who climbed mt. Everest. 68 00:02:33,098 --> 00:02:34,998 I thought you might want somethin' to read. 69 00:02:35,132 --> 00:02:37,649 I have never wanted something to read. 70 00:02:37,717 --> 00:02:39,251 You know, here's the thing, honey. 71 00:02:39,319 --> 00:02:40,818 Um, I was looking at the, uh, 72 00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,886 the brochure for the lodge up there, 73 00:02:42,953 --> 00:02:46,355 and, um, the thing is there's no T.V. 74 00:03:33,785 --> 00:03:35,085 Isn't this great? 75 00:03:35,153 --> 00:03:37,352 Ok, I'm the only one in a tie. 76 00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:38,653 But you look nice. 77 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,487 Carrie, a guy thought I was the manager, 78 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,022 and told me the toilet won't stop flushing in 312. 79 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,390 It'll be fine, all right. 80 00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:45,957 I wanna... I wanna schmooze everybody. 81 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:47,659 Let's heffernate the place. 82 00:03:50,761 --> 00:03:52,061 Mr. Thompson, hi. 83 00:03:52,129 --> 00:03:53,129 Hi. 84 00:03:53,196 --> 00:03:56,664 I wanna congratulate you on becoming partner. 85 00:03:56,731 --> 00:03:57,765 Oh, thanks. 86 00:03:57,833 --> 00:03:58,965 This is my husband Doug. 87 00:03:59,033 --> 00:04:00,267 Doug, this is Mr. Thompson. 88 00:04:00,334 --> 00:04:01,366 He just made partner. 89 00:04:01,434 --> 00:04:03,467 Oh, really? Wow. 90 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,936 Howdy, partner. 91 00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:10,306 Hey, Carrie, real quick. 92 00:04:10,373 --> 00:04:11,840 I want you to meet sue rabinowitz. 93 00:04:11,908 --> 00:04:13,707 You talk to her all the time on the phone, 94 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,642 and she wants to put a face with the name. 95 00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:17,677 Sure. Excuse me for one minute. 96 00:04:17,744 --> 00:04:19,945 No, Carrie, wait, please, God, I hate you. 97 00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:26,215 So, partner. 98 00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:28,716 Actually, it's been quite a journey there, Doug. 99 00:04:28,784 --> 00:04:30,751 Uh, you know, funny story. 100 00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:33,220 Um, or-originally, I was admitted 101 00:04:33,288 --> 00:04:36,354 to the bar in Virginia, uh, 102 00:04:36,422 --> 00:04:39,123 and then I... I made my way back up to New York there, 103 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:42,125 so I had to take a new bar exam. 104 00:04:42,193 --> 00:04:43,392 Now, that was difficult 105 00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:47,761 because some of the laws are similar, 106 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:50,496 and then some of them are slightly different. 107 00:05:02,588 --> 00:05:04,755 I see you're enjoying the doodles. 108 00:05:06,391 --> 00:05:08,057 Yeah. 109 00:05:15,079 --> 00:05:16,878 You realize Doug and Carrie 110 00:05:16,946 --> 00:05:19,164 left me a limited supply of food. 111 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:22,849 I... I brought this from my house 112 00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:25,584 and I left you another bag, right there. 113 00:05:25,652 --> 00:05:27,886 Why don't you check the attitude, son? 114 00:05:33,673 --> 00:05:35,874 I'm gonna get a glass of water. You want some? 115 00:05:35,942 --> 00:05:38,008 No. Look, I'm 76 years old, 116 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,843 and I don't need a baby-sitter! 117 00:05:39,910 --> 00:05:41,477 I should be baby-sitting you. 118 00:05:41,545 --> 00:05:43,996 Look, man, Doug just asked me to check in on you. 119 00:05:44,064 --> 00:05:45,130 I'm just being nice. 120 00:05:45,197 --> 00:05:46,665 Nice, my ass! 121 00:05:46,732 --> 00:05:48,498 You just like playing God. 122 00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:50,816 I could be at home with my wife and kids. 123 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,317 Do you also sit in front of them, 124 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:55,052 eatin' cheese puffs like a Wolverine? 125 00:05:55,119 --> 00:05:56,436 Do you want me to leave? 126 00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:59,289 I want that with every fiber of my being! 127 00:05:59,356 --> 00:06:00,588 Fine, then I'm out of here. 128 00:06:00,656 --> 00:06:01,957 Good! 129 00:06:02,024 --> 00:06:04,558 And thank you for the doodle crumbs! 130 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:08,944 Ok, so, as the head of the contract department, 131 00:06:09,012 --> 00:06:10,145 what I do is 132 00:06:10,212 --> 00:06:13,279 I sit down with all our corporate officers 133 00:06:13,347 --> 00:06:15,998 and, uh, together we draw up the various... 134 00:06:16,065 --> 00:06:17,766 I should be listening. 135 00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,601 I just can't lock in. 136 00:06:19,669 --> 00:06:22,802 Ok, if I start listening now, I might get into it. 137 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,570 Documents, now... 138 00:06:24,638 --> 00:06:25,970 Ok, now. 139 00:06:26,038 --> 00:06:27,056 Documents ready. 140 00:06:27,123 --> 00:06:28,322 Now! 141 00:06:28,891 --> 00:06:30,124 Damn it! 142 00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:34,493 You have to do the whole thing over again. 143 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,612 Now, there's, uh, a green copy, a pink copy... 144 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,479 I wonder if I could lift this guy with one arm. 145 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,835 Sorry, uh, I'm done in here. 146 00:06:50,803 --> 00:06:53,437 Hey, how's it comin' with my toilet? 147 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,873 Oh, I, uh, I... I sent the guy up. 148 00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:09,364 Around here somewhere. 149 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:14,134 Uh, listen, if you... If you can't make it happen, 150 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,568 I'll take my business elsewhere, ok? 151 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,437 Honey, I... I wanna... 152 00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,548 I wanna introduce you to someone important. Uh-huh, no, no, no. 153 00:07:20,572 --> 00:07:21,904 I understand that, 154 00:07:21,972 --> 00:07:23,849 but I'm... I'm at my wife's retreat right now, ok? 155 00:07:23,873 --> 00:07:24,913 I don't have time to be... 156 00:07:26,324 --> 00:07:29,159 Whoa. Whoa. This thing's going crazy, man. 157 00:07:29,227 --> 00:07:30,594 I'm talkin'. She's ringin'. 158 00:07:30,661 --> 00:07:32,295 Doug Heffernan. How are you? 159 00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:50,558 Hi. I have chicken kebabs 160 00:08:50,626 --> 00:08:52,559 and a quart of curry clam soup. 161 00:08:52,627 --> 00:08:54,261 Well, thank you, my good lad. 162 00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:56,329 I'll tell you, you build up quite an appetite 163 00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:58,864 delivering packages, which is what I do. 164 00:09:15,707 --> 00:09:20,210 It has been written since the beginning of time, 165 00:09:20,277 --> 00:09:23,845 even unto these ancient stones, 166 00:09:23,913 --> 00:09:27,980 that evil, supernatural creatures exist... 167 00:09:38,888 --> 00:09:40,922 You sure your company's paying for all this? 168 00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:44,558 'Cause if they're not, it's gonna affect my choices. 169 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,392 Yes, Doug, it's all free. 170 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,077 But just do me a favor. Try not to eat the door. 171 00:09:51,313 --> 00:09:52,813 Where the hell is that comin' from? 172 00:09:52,881 --> 00:09:54,180 Where's it coming from? 173 00:09:54,248 --> 00:09:56,448 How about your pathetic performance down there? 174 00:09:56,516 --> 00:09:59,884 What? What mixer were you at? 175 00:09:59,951 --> 00:10:01,784 Oh, ok, any of these things ring a bell? 176 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,987 Uh, avoiding eye contact, faking cell phone calls, 177 00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:08,605 and did I see you running a floor polisher? 178 00:10:08,672 --> 00:10:10,791 I was moving it to a safer place. 179 00:10:10,858 --> 00:10:12,041 Do you know who that was 180 00:10:12,109 --> 00:10:13,609 I was trying to introduce you to? 181 00:10:13,676 --> 00:10:16,260 That was Lou Kaplan, ok? He's a senior partner. 182 00:10:16,328 --> 00:10:18,861 And you know what I just found out? His secretary's leaving. 183 00:10:18,929 --> 00:10:20,596 And I want that job, Doug! 184 00:10:20,664 --> 00:10:22,864 But what do you care? Right? It-it's amazing. 185 00:10:22,932 --> 00:10:24,399 And when you're with your friends, 186 00:10:24,466 --> 00:10:26,466 you're funny, y-you're telling stories, 187 00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:28,401 but up here, you're like a Friggin' idiot! 188 00:10:28,469 --> 00:10:30,469 You know what? My friends are a little more fun 189 00:10:30,537 --> 00:10:32,336 than these guys. 190 00:10:32,404 --> 00:10:34,805 Oh, yes, the documentation of the document 191 00:10:34,873 --> 00:10:38,257 was very well, um, documented. 192 00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:42,058 Really? Tell me that story again, from the beginning! 193 00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:44,226 You know what, if that's not exciting enough, 194 00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,095 I can always come upstairs here and read! 195 00:10:46,163 --> 00:10:51,399 Yeah, oh! A harrowing climb from base camp to 29,028 feet. 196 00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:56,535 All right, you know what, Doug? 197 00:10:56,602 --> 00:10:58,135 Nobody told you this was gonna be 198 00:10:58,203 --> 00:11:00,387 the best weekend of your life, 199 00:11:00,454 --> 00:11:02,471 but you're here for me. 200 00:11:02,539 --> 00:11:04,439 Just like when I... When I went up 201 00:11:04,524 --> 00:11:06,907 to buffalo with you for sausage fest. 202 00:11:08,509 --> 00:11:10,543 That was a "you" weekend. 203 00:11:11,378 --> 00:11:13,128 But did I shut down? 204 00:11:13,196 --> 00:11:14,746 No, I did not. 205 00:11:14,813 --> 00:11:19,299 I entered and won a very embarrassing contest. 206 00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:23,034 Why? Because I love you. 207 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:28,104 And I'm just... just asking the same from you. 208 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:33,990 All right. I'm sorry, ok? 209 00:11:34,058 --> 00:11:36,125 I'll... I'll try to be better tomorrow. 210 00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:30,891 So I said, "are you a judge" 211 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,960 or you just like wearing the robe?" 212 00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:35,962 That's so true. 213 00:12:36,029 --> 00:12:39,030 Yes, it is. You are one bad senior partner. 214 00:12:39,098 --> 00:12:41,432 You said you would try, so jump in. 215 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,833 I did. I talked about the eggs. 216 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,700 You said you got eggs. That's not enough. 217 00:12:44,768 --> 00:12:47,402 So now, my grandson tells me he needs a jet ski, 218 00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:49,636 and on top of that, he wants to turn professional. 219 00:12:49,704 --> 00:12:51,024 Oh, he's talkin' about jet skiing. 220 00:12:51,088 --> 00:12:52,955 Tell him your water skiing story. Come on. 221 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,023 This way to Mr. Kaplan. Speaking of jet skiing, 222 00:12:55,091 --> 00:12:57,925 Doug has a funny story about water skiing. 223 00:12:57,993 --> 00:12:59,659 Oh, oh, great, just one sec. 224 00:12:59,727 --> 00:13:01,426 So, bottom line, I tell my daughter 225 00:13:01,494 --> 00:13:03,195 to get him the best jet ski they make. 226 00:13:03,262 --> 00:13:04,696 I don't care what it costs. 227 00:13:04,763 --> 00:13:08,198 I mean, the kid has cystic fibrosis. 228 00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:10,466 I just want to see him happy, you know. 229 00:13:11,851 --> 00:13:13,768 How's the little guy doin'? 230 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,186 Not so good. 231 00:13:18,138 --> 00:13:20,689 So, Doug, you have a water skiing story? 232 00:13:23,124 --> 00:13:24,858 Oh, man! 233 00:13:24,909 --> 00:13:27,242 What the hell happened here? 234 00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:30,962 What is that smell? Whew. 235 00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:32,796 That may or may not be 236 00:13:32,864 --> 00:13:36,498 the curry clam soup I spilled on the bed. 237 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,700 How did you spill soup on their bed? 238 00:13:38,768 --> 00:13:42,385 Well, technically, I was in their bed. 239 00:13:42,453 --> 00:13:45,771 Well, did you wipe it up with Doug's uniform? 240 00:13:45,839 --> 00:13:49,072 Technically, I was in Doug's uniform. 241 00:13:49,139 --> 00:13:50,574 Uh, let me get this straight. 242 00:13:50,641 --> 00:13:53,876 You were in Doug's uniform, eating soup in their bed? 243 00:13:53,977 --> 00:13:56,844 Those are the tent poles of the story, yes. 244 00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:02,197 Were you trying to be Doug? 245 00:14:03,565 --> 00:14:06,933 Look, we can stand here all day and point fingers 246 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,619 or we can work as a team and get this place cleaned up! 247 00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:20,224 And then, uh, I fall, and, uh, 248 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:22,575 my bathing suit 249 00:14:22,643 --> 00:14:27,029 literally explodes on impact. 250 00:14:27,095 --> 00:14:30,046 And, uh, I'm just, like, I'm... I'm floating there, you know, 251 00:14:30,114 --> 00:14:32,248 I'm floatin' there, it was like, whoa. 252 00:14:32,316 --> 00:14:33,483 Don't float. Hmm? 253 00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:34,950 Don't float. 254 00:14:35,017 --> 00:14:37,052 And, uh, ahem, and then, uh, 255 00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:39,587 uh, seaweed touched me, and it was... it was gross. 256 00:14:40,872 --> 00:14:42,072 The end. 257 00:14:46,525 --> 00:14:48,492 That's some story. 258 00:14:48,559 --> 00:14:50,576 I tell you, Doug, you may want to look into 259 00:14:50,643 --> 00:14:52,327 editing that bad boy. 260 00:14:54,747 --> 00:14:58,965 Well, this has been a super breakfast. 261 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,899 That's the last thing I'm saying all weekend. 262 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,868 You were just thrown by the fibrosis thing. Don't give up. 263 00:15:04,052 --> 00:15:05,501 I just want to say thank you so much 264 00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:07,769 for hosting this whole thing. It's really great up here. 265 00:15:07,804 --> 00:15:10,072 Oh, yeah. I love it here in the mountains. 266 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:11,405 You know, when I was younger, 267 00:15:11,473 --> 00:15:12,673 I used to climb these things. 268 00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,040 Oh, yeah. Climbing's great. 269 00:15:14,108 --> 00:15:15,407 Uh, you a climbing guy? 270 00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:16,602 Yeah, yeah, a little bit, yeah. 271 00:15:16,626 --> 00:15:17,993 Nothing like it, is there? 272 00:15:18,061 --> 00:15:20,162 No, there is not. 273 00:15:20,229 --> 00:15:21,779 How high up you been? 274 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,731 What's the highest elevation you hit? 275 00:15:25,798 --> 00:15:29,800 Uh, oh, uh, 29,028 feet. Yeah. 276 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:33,635 29,000 feet? That's Everest. 277 00:15:34,804 --> 00:15:36,871 You've climbed mount Everest? 278 00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:39,305 Yes, I did. 279 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,991 Why would you say you climbed mount Everest? 280 00:15:43,059 --> 00:15:44,125 I don't know! 281 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,293 What were you thinking? 282 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,894 I don't know! 283 00:15:47,962 --> 00:15:49,462 You were pinchin' me and pokin' me. 284 00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:50,895 He brought up Mountain climbing. 285 00:15:50,963 --> 00:15:52,043 I... I remembered the book. 286 00:15:52,097 --> 00:15:53,631 The book isn't about you! 287 00:15:53,699 --> 00:15:56,450 I know that now! 288 00:15:56,517 --> 00:15:58,484 See, see? This is why I don't read. 289 00:16:00,387 --> 00:16:02,087 Ok, you know what? You know what? 290 00:16:02,154 --> 00:16:03,920 You know what, for the rest of the trip, 291 00:16:03,988 --> 00:16:05,755 you stay in this room, and you will make 292 00:16:05,823 --> 00:16:08,756 a very brief appearance at the final dinner, ok? 293 00:16:08,824 --> 00:16:11,725 A lot of lawyers do that with their alcoholic wives. 294 00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:12,793 It works. 295 00:16:12,827 --> 00:16:14,294 Fine, yeah, I'll stay in the room. 296 00:16:14,361 --> 00:16:16,261 You know what I'll do? I'll just watch T.V. 297 00:16:16,329 --> 00:16:17,963 Hey, look what's on. Flowers! 298 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,100 Hello. 299 00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:28,102 Oh, hi. 300 00:16:29,804 --> 00:16:32,471 Oh, oh, all right. Yeah, no, we can make it. 301 00:16:32,539 --> 00:16:34,839 Ok. We'll see you then. 302 00:16:34,907 --> 00:16:36,074 Bye-bye. 303 00:16:36,975 --> 00:16:38,108 Crap! 304 00:16:38,676 --> 00:16:39,709 What? 305 00:16:39,777 --> 00:16:40,827 That was Mr. Kaplan. 306 00:16:40,894 --> 00:16:42,610 Apparently now he finds my husband, 307 00:16:42,678 --> 00:16:45,813 the Mountain climber, delightful. 308 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,664 We're going horseback riding with him in 15 minutes. 309 00:16:48,732 --> 00:16:50,999 Wh-what? We can't! He'll grill me about Everest! 310 00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,834 I... maybe he won't ask. 311 00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:54,895 Carrie, I scaled the highest Mountain in the world. 312 00:16:54,919 --> 00:16:56,620 Who wouldn't ask about that? 313 00:16:56,687 --> 00:16:58,988 I'm fascinating. 314 00:16:59,056 --> 00:17:02,173 Oh, you're right. What are we gonna do? 315 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,541 Here, we've got about 6 and a half minutes. Read. 316 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,609 We need to know where mount Everest is, 317 00:17:07,677 --> 00:17:09,044 what kind of equipment you need. 318 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,179 Is there any good Mountain lingo in there? 319 00:17:11,246 --> 00:17:12,512 What's it say? What's it say? 320 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,414 I'm looking! I'm looking! 321 00:17:17,149 --> 00:17:18,983 Hey, this guy lost a big toe. 322 00:17:20,268 --> 00:17:21,635 I'm very screwed. 323 00:17:24,021 --> 00:17:25,854 Yeah, I'll never forget it, 324 00:17:25,922 --> 00:17:27,955 up there on Everest. 325 00:17:28,023 --> 00:17:29,989 It was so cold, you know? 326 00:17:30,858 --> 00:17:33,225 Snow was everywhere. 327 00:17:33,292 --> 00:17:34,543 So much snow 328 00:17:36,228 --> 00:17:37,560 that, like, 329 00:17:37,628 --> 00:17:40,795 schools would be closed for 2 or 3 days. 330 00:17:42,032 --> 00:17:44,231 I mean if they had schools up there. 331 00:17:44,299 --> 00:17:47,233 I don't... I didn't see any. I did see a seesaw. 332 00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:52,270 And when exactly did you lose the big toe? 333 00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:55,971 Uh, oh, I don't even know. 334 00:17:56,039 --> 00:17:58,373 I just took my boot off, and, uh, it was gone. 335 00:17:58,441 --> 00:18:01,442 Yes. He still has trouble balancing. 336 00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:03,543 You know, I envy you, Doug. 337 00:18:05,178 --> 00:18:08,062 I'm tough as nails in the courtroom, 338 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:11,731 but I wonder if I could have held up on that hill. 339 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,333 I think you would have been pretty great. 340 00:18:15,534 --> 00:18:17,868 Thanks. Means a lot. 341 00:18:21,589 --> 00:18:23,104 Hey, you know, 342 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:25,973 next weekend, you and Carrie 343 00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:28,608 should come up to our house in Connecticut. 344 00:18:28,676 --> 00:18:30,410 Do you like hot-air ballooning? 345 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:32,578 We love it! 346 00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:42,383 I would pick up the broken glass from the crystal swan 347 00:18:42,451 --> 00:18:45,152 before I put the mattress back. 348 00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:47,453 Hey, I think I can handle it. 349 00:18:50,406 --> 00:18:51,706 I would put the other side up. 350 00:18:51,773 --> 00:18:52,940 Stop telling me what to do! 351 00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,208 Well, if you put the mattress soup side down, 352 00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:57,209 it's gonna get moldy. Any idiot knows that! 353 00:18:57,276 --> 00:18:59,577 You got soup on both sides and on the wall! 354 00:18:59,645 --> 00:19:01,244 What'd you do, pour it through a fan? 355 00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:04,814 Look, don't make this a black-white thing, ok? 356 00:19:04,881 --> 00:19:06,948 You're out of your mind. I'm goin' home. 357 00:19:07,016 --> 00:19:08,249 You can't go! 358 00:19:08,317 --> 00:19:10,250 Douglas will smack me around like a pinata. 359 00:19:10,318 --> 00:19:11,417 Good. 360 00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:19,705 I am not going away on another weekend with him! 361 00:19:19,773 --> 00:19:22,124 Why? I think hot-air ballooning sounds fun! 362 00:19:22,325 --> 00:19:23,775 No. You told me that all I had to do 363 00:19:23,842 --> 00:19:25,993 was get through this ride. That's all I'm doing. 364 00:19:26,061 --> 00:19:27,304 And look how great you're doing. 365 00:19:27,328 --> 00:19:28,595 You're up on that horse. 366 00:19:28,662 --> 00:19:30,262 You're lying like a son of a bitch... no! 367 00:19:30,330 --> 00:19:31,479 Come on. 368 00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:33,392 If we go away with him, I can have a lock on that job. 369 00:19:33,416 --> 00:19:35,149 One float in a basket over Connecticut. 370 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,466 I'll bring chicken. 371 00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:38,434 Ok, you are now officially insane. 372 00:19:38,502 --> 00:19:41,069 I tried my best here, but now you've crossed the line. 373 00:19:41,137 --> 00:19:42,436 I'm... I'm done schmoozing. 374 00:19:42,504 --> 00:19:44,104 I'm done lying. I'm done reading. 375 00:19:44,171 --> 00:19:45,905 I'm done! 376 00:19:45,973 --> 00:19:47,449 Me and whiskers, you know what, we're out of here. 377 00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:49,223 We're out of here, man. 378 00:19:49,391 --> 00:19:50,642 I don't need any of this. 379 00:19:50,709 --> 00:19:52,575 Yeah, tell me. 380 00:19:53,745 --> 00:19:55,144 Tell me. 381 00:19:55,646 --> 00:19:57,145 Oh, yeah. 382 00:19:57,213 --> 00:19:58,696 I don't need you. 383 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,832 Giddy-up! 384 00:20:03,234 --> 00:20:04,766 I'm, oh, we're outta here. 385 00:20:07,168 --> 00:20:08,436 Yee-yah! 386 00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:10,937 Whoa! Yeah! 387 00:20:12,405 --> 00:20:13,606 Yeah. 388 00:20:16,241 --> 00:20:17,607 Oh, God! 389 00:20:19,310 --> 00:20:21,611 Oh, God! Ok. Ok. 390 00:20:23,446 --> 00:20:24,929 Oh, sweet lord. 391 00:20:26,598 --> 00:20:30,098 So outta here. So outta here. I don't need you. 392 00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:35,935 So don't need you. 393 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:42,072 I am outta here. I am so outta here. 394 00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:44,440 Come on back, whiskers. 395 00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:48,743 We can walk. Yes, we can. 396 00:20:53,931 --> 00:20:56,164 Your shoulder still hurtin', baby? 397 00:20:56,232 --> 00:20:59,500 It's better that it's back in the socket. 398 00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:01,935 At least it got us out of hot-air balloonin', huh? 399 00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:03,535 Yes, honey. You were so great... 400 00:21:03,603 --> 00:21:04,536 Yeah... ow! 401 00:21:04,604 --> 00:21:05,803 Oh, so sorry. 402 00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:07,238 Mama. Yes. 403 00:21:07,306 --> 00:21:09,272 You were really great this weekend, sweetie. 404 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:11,073 I know I went a little nuts. 405 00:21:11,141 --> 00:21:12,408 I'll get that job somehow. 406 00:21:12,476 --> 00:21:14,375 You don't have to worry about it. 407 00:21:14,443 --> 00:21:17,943 You ever think of just sleeping with the guy? 408 00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:21,129 Yeah, um, actually I talked to his, uh, current secretary. 409 00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,097 Apparently it's a lot of work. 410 00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:26,516 Oh, hi, daddy. 411 00:21:26,584 --> 00:21:27,650 Darling. Douglas. 412 00:21:27,718 --> 00:21:28,951 How was your weekend? 413 00:21:29,018 --> 00:21:31,819 Quite nice, except when your friend Deacon stopped by. 414 00:21:31,887 --> 00:21:33,353 Why? What happened? 415 00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:36,321 He lurched in here, reeking of soup and bourbon, 416 00:21:37,457 --> 00:21:38,923 went right up into your bedroom. 417 00:21:38,991 --> 00:21:40,024 I heard some noise, 418 00:21:40,092 --> 00:21:41,825 but I didn't think it was my place 419 00:21:41,893 --> 00:21:43,893 to go into your private quarters. 420 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,166 Oh, my God! 421 00:21:56,234 --> 00:21:57,802 Sweet T.V.