1 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:14,026 Come on, here we go, baby. Work with me. 2 00:00:14,985 --> 00:00:17,988 Okay, okay. 3 00:00:19,907 --> 00:00:21,283 - Come on. - Hey. 4 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:24,870 - Did you lock your keys in your car? - No, I have a shirt in the back 5 00:00:25,037 --> 00:00:28,373 I'm trying to get on the hanger without opening the door. 6 00:00:28,582 --> 00:00:31,084 Sorry, trying to help out. 7 00:00:32,461 --> 00:00:34,546 Moron. 8 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:23,025 You like your Liberace, don't you, Dad? 9 00:01:23,192 --> 00:01:26,153 Oh, yes, Lee was quite the showman. 10 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,031 Darling, did you know he was a little? 11 00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:31,992 That's not to repeat. 12 00:01:34,745 --> 00:01:36,914 If you're enjoying the sounds of Liberace 13 00:01:37,081 --> 00:01:39,458 and want to see more quality programming such as this, 14 00:01:39,625 --> 00:01:42,002 we need the support of generous viewers like you. 15 00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,631 Here they go, begging for money again. 16 00:01:45,798 --> 00:01:47,758 Pathetic. 17 00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:52,221 Good morning. What is that? 18 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:56,225 What? The Three Tenors tote bag? 19 00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:59,562 I've been in the market for a tote bag for years. 20 00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:02,565 I just didn't have the guts to pull the trigger. 21 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,528 Look, honey. It's perfect for me, don't you think? 22 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:11,740 Yeah, it'll be a nice step up from the fishing net you use. 23 00:02:14,577 --> 00:02:18,038 Yes, hello. What is the minimum donation to get that tote bag? 24 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,502 Is there any wriggle room on that? 25 00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:25,629 - Hello. - Hey, babe. 26 00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:28,841 No frozen food for you. 27 00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:31,552 Now go upstairs, put on some rouge and squeeze into a girdle, 28 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:34,096 because we are stepping out tonight. 29 00:02:34,597 --> 00:02:37,099 Where are we stepping? Back in time? 30 00:02:37,308 --> 00:02:39,560 Better. We're going to Fiorino's. This new Italian joint 31 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,729 Deac and I had lunch at today, it's unbelievable. 32 00:02:41,937 --> 00:02:44,940 - I'm tired. Let's go another night. - No, no, no, you don't understand. 33 00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:46,275 This restaurant is special. 34 00:02:46,442 --> 00:02:49,195 I really think this could be our place. How great would that be? 35 00:02:49,361 --> 00:02:50,863 I could call you up from work and say: 36 00:02:51,030 --> 00:02:53,908 "Hey, meet me at the place." 37 00:02:54,658 --> 00:02:57,036 I wouldn't even have to say the name. 38 00:02:57,203 --> 00:02:58,871 You'd know. 39 00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:02,541 - And how much time would that save? - Come on, let's go. Let's go. 40 00:03:02,708 --> 00:03:04,251 Doug, come on, I'm already comfortable. 41 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,295 I'd have to put on a bra. It's a whole ordeal. 42 00:03:06,462 --> 00:03:07,588 I'll help you. 43 00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:10,841 Please, Doug, you can't even get my bra off. 44 00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:14,803 Yes, but this is for something I want. Let's go. 45 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,812 So you think I made the right choice, ordering the special? 46 00:03:23,979 --> 00:03:25,814 - Well, it sounded good. - You think? 47 00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:28,651 Because I kind of had my eye on the rigatoni. 48 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:32,488 I don't know. Maybe I should have gotten that. 49 00:03:32,655 --> 00:03:35,741 On the other hand, you gotta jump on a good special, because that goes away. 50 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,785 Well, the important thing is, you've given it 51 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:41,789 - a tremendous amount of thought. - Hey, look who's back. 52 00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:43,249 Mr. Green Shorts. 53 00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:46,126 - Whoa, long pants now, huh? - Yeah, I got the long pants on. 54 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,836 And who is this beauty? 55 00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:50,881 - This is my wife, Carrie. - So nice to see you. 56 00:03:51,048 --> 00:03:53,717 You're a lucky, lucky man. So you like my bruschetta? 57 00:03:53,926 --> 00:03:55,761 - It was great, thanks. - It's on the house, 58 00:03:55,928 --> 00:03:58,931 because you such a good customer, and because she's so beautiful. 59 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,308 Hey, you call me when you leave this guy, huh? 60 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:02,601 Okay. 61 00:04:02,768 --> 00:04:05,145 - Enjoy, enjoy. - Thank you, thank you. 62 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,273 He wants you to call him when you leave me. 63 00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:09,483 How great is this place? 64 00:04:11,193 --> 00:04:13,195 - It's very nice. - Very nice? Are you kidding me? 65 00:04:13,362 --> 00:04:15,739 This is the best place ever. They even gave me a nickname. 66 00:04:15,948 --> 00:04:17,616 I know, Mr. Green Jeans. 67 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,827 Green Shorts. 68 00:04:20,703 --> 00:04:22,413 And, hey, look at this, free bruschetta. 69 00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:26,083 You gotta check out the bathroom too. It's like peeing in old Italy. 70 00:04:27,459 --> 00:04:29,086 I look forward to it. 71 00:04:29,295 --> 00:04:30,671 All right. 72 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,840 - Penne al'arrabiata for the signora. - Thank you. 73 00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:36,051 - And gnocchi for the signore. - Oh, smells great, thanks. 74 00:04:36,218 --> 00:04:37,303 Some fresh parmigiana? 75 00:04:37,469 --> 00:04:38,888 - None for me, thank you. - Signore? 76 00:04:39,054 --> 00:04:41,348 Oh, yeah. 77 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,684 Keep grating until you hit bone. 78 00:04:46,604 --> 00:04:47,897 - Excuse me? - Yes? 79 00:04:48,063 --> 00:04:49,565 This has capers in it. 80 00:04:49,773 --> 00:04:51,817 Yes, yes. They give it a nice flavour. 81 00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:56,363 - Yes, but I ordered it without capers. - They give it nice flavour, honey. 82 00:04:57,823 --> 00:05:00,993 - I don't have anything about no capers. - Well, I did say it. 83 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,912 All right. I change your order if you want. 84 00:05:03,078 --> 00:05:04,663 No, no, I don't wanna change my order, 85 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:07,249 I just want my food the way I ordered it in the first place. 86 00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:09,752 I like extra capers, so this works out great. 87 00:05:09,919 --> 00:05:12,338 I'll take a few. They come right out. Look, I got a big one. 88 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,006 Doug, could you get your fingers 89 00:05:14,173 --> 00:05:16,508 - out of my food? - I don't think we need to send it back. 90 00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:18,344 - Look, got another one. - Doug, stop it. 91 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:21,222 Come on... Could I just have my food the way I ordered it, please? 92 00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:23,557 - Very good. - Thank you. 93 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,100 Excuse me. 94 00:05:26,685 --> 00:05:28,771 - Was that a sigh? - Oh, God. 95 00:05:28,979 --> 00:05:31,774 - No, signora. - Well, it sounded like a sigh. 96 00:05:31,941 --> 00:05:34,026 Am I annoying you in some way, hon? 97 00:05:34,235 --> 00:05:36,237 You ask to change your order, I change your order. 98 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,572 Again with the change. You know what? Let me have it. 99 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,033 - Let me see the manager. Thank you. - Yes, signora. 100 00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:44,828 - What are you doing? - You didn't see the attitude 101 00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:47,164 on that guy? Come on, I'm not gonna put up with that. 102 00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:50,501 Carrie, it is very stressful being in the service industry, okay? 103 00:05:50,668 --> 00:05:55,089 I never told you this, but some days I just sit in my truck and cry. 104 00:05:56,173 --> 00:05:59,593 Doug, would you give me a break? The guy was out-and-out rude. 105 00:05:59,802 --> 00:06:02,137 Not rude, fiery. He's Italian, it's their way. 106 00:06:02,304 --> 00:06:05,057 So a little problem, what? 107 00:06:05,224 --> 00:06:07,434 - Yes, I ordered... - Nothing major, everything's great. 108 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,354 My wife got her food and she thought she ordered it without capers... 109 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,107 - I did order it without capers. - Okay, she may have. 110 00:06:13,274 --> 00:06:16,652 The main thing is, other than the capers, everything else, fantastico. 111 00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:20,072 Okay, so here's what's not fantastico, okay, 112 00:06:20,239 --> 00:06:24,535 is when a waiter pretty much calls a customer a liar. 113 00:06:24,743 --> 00:06:26,996 I didn't get that. 114 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:33,460 I'm so sorry. We take care of it right away. 115 00:06:39,383 --> 00:06:42,970 I'm so very sorry. We take care of everything. 116 00:06:46,015 --> 00:06:48,392 - Did you see that? - See what? 117 00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:52,062 They were talking about me, right in front of me in Italian, 118 00:06:52,229 --> 00:06:55,482 - and then that guy, he rolled his eyes. - Can we just eat dinner, okay? 119 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,902 You're gonna get your dish back with no capers. 120 00:06:58,068 --> 00:07:00,696 Maybe a little spit, but no capers. 121 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,868 Here, just have some of mine in the meantime. 122 00:07:06,035 --> 00:07:08,913 No. No, forget it. I'm not even hungry now. 123 00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:30,559 Make sure it doesn't have capers. 124 00:07:31,602 --> 00:07:33,145 Okay, here we go. 125 00:07:33,312 --> 00:07:34,813 You wanna get into this now? 126 00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:37,358 - Bring it on. - No, no, no, I don't wanna get into it. 127 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:39,777 I want you to be happy. I don't want you to have to call 128 00:07:39,944 --> 00:07:43,113 the Lean Cuisine people and ask for the manager. 129 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:44,907 Well, if I did have to, 130 00:07:45,074 --> 00:07:47,868 I guess we'd know whose side you'd be on, don't we? 131 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:51,038 Hey, I just wanted a nice evening out. You're the one who went insane. 132 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:52,248 Oh, yeah, I'm insane. 133 00:07:52,414 --> 00:07:55,543 I ordered my food without capers, and then wanted it with no capers. 134 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,711 Yes, fit me for a straitjacket, I'm a loon. 135 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,215 You know what I mean. You're always on the lookout for who's out to get you. 136 00:08:01,382 --> 00:08:04,343 You can never just let something go. No, that would result 137 00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:07,805 in a delightful evening, and we can't have that, can we? No. 138 00:08:10,808 --> 00:08:13,769 And by the way, you didn't say no capers. 139 00:08:13,978 --> 00:08:15,062 How would you know? 140 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,605 You were too busy figuring out 141 00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:21,193 what you were gonna have for lunch a week from Thursday. 142 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,865 - I just don't get you, Carrie. - Oh, don't you? 143 00:08:26,031 --> 00:08:28,576 No, you knew how much I loved that place, 144 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,578 and you just had to go and ruin it. 145 00:08:30,786 --> 00:08:32,955 First of all, I am not the one who dragged me there, 146 00:08:33,122 --> 00:08:36,125 and second of all, that place? Not so great. 147 00:08:36,333 --> 00:08:39,169 - Oh, don't. Don't. - No, it's true, it's true. 148 00:08:39,378 --> 00:08:41,714 I didn't wanna say it then, but the bruschetta? 149 00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:43,591 A little soggy. That's right, that's right. 150 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,969 - And the music? Way too loud. - Okay, now you're just flailing, 151 00:08:47,136 --> 00:08:50,848 because that music could not have been at a more perfect level. 152 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,268 Crap. 153 00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:02,526 And by the way, a normal person enjoys a nice caper now and again. 154 00:09:02,693 --> 00:09:05,279 Okay, well, here's a "by the way" for you. 155 00:09:05,446 --> 00:09:08,532 Normal people put their soda cans in the recycling bin, 156 00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:10,034 not on the clock radio. 157 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:12,828 - I swear, you do that just to annoy me. - Of course I do. 158 00:09:12,995 --> 00:09:16,457 Obviously, everyone on this Earth has one goal: To annoy you. 159 00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:19,418 It's true. Actually, you know, we have a club. 160 00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:22,504 We meet once a week and we try to come up with new ways. 161 00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,925 You wanna see our secret eye roll? 162 00:09:28,719 --> 00:09:31,430 Okay, okay, now you're just being a jerk. 163 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,891 No, it's true, you're paranoid. You're like your father. 164 00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:36,101 - What? - That's right. You're two of a kind. 165 00:09:36,268 --> 00:09:38,312 You know, I swear, I think the Spooner family crest 166 00:09:38,479 --> 00:09:42,566 is a shaking fist with the words, "I wanna see the manager!" 167 00:09:44,735 --> 00:09:46,570 You know what, I am not in the mood for this. 168 00:09:46,779 --> 00:09:49,532 It's over, we're never going back there anyway, so case closed. 169 00:09:49,698 --> 00:09:53,035 Oh, here we go. We're taking a stand. We're banning the restaurant now. 170 00:09:53,202 --> 00:09:56,247 - Yes, we are. - Okay, fine, I'll add it to the list. 171 00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:59,667 The dry cleaners, Kinko's, Madison Square Garden, 172 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:05,089 St. Christopher's Church, and now Fiorino's. 173 00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:07,132 No, you're not like Arthur. Not too much. 174 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:10,594 - Moron. - Arthur in a. 175 00:10:10,761 --> 00:10:13,347 Stop shutting lights! 176 00:10:14,056 --> 00:10:17,142 Oh, and just one more thing, I'm still gonna eat there when I want. 177 00:10:17,309 --> 00:10:18,978 - No, you're not. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am. 178 00:10:19,144 --> 00:10:20,187 Tomorrow. 179 00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:24,441 And who knows, after that, I may swing by the dry cleaners. 180 00:10:25,109 --> 00:10:28,487 - Where is it? - That's very nice. You know what? 181 00:10:28,654 --> 00:10:30,906 Go wherever you wanna go, but let me tell you something, 182 00:10:31,073 --> 00:10:35,077 there has never been one time that I didn't support you. 183 00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,788 That's right. Remember at that party, when you kept insisting 184 00:10:37,955 --> 00:10:40,207 that pitted cherries means they have pits in them? 185 00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:43,210 You went on and on, and I backed you up, 186 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,213 because I didn't want you to look like an idiot all by yourself. 187 00:10:47,006 --> 00:10:50,634 Well, they should call them de-pitted. It's confusing. 188 00:10:52,595 --> 00:10:56,181 The point is, is that we're married, okay? 189 00:10:56,348 --> 00:10:57,558 We're a couple. We're a team. 190 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,810 We're supposed to support each other no matter what. 191 00:11:00,603 --> 00:11:03,606 They... They hurt my feelings tonight, Doug, you know. 192 00:11:03,772 --> 00:11:04,815 And if you go back there, 193 00:11:04,982 --> 00:11:07,902 you're just basically saying that my feelings don't count. 194 00:11:08,485 --> 00:11:10,279 Oh, forget it. 195 00:11:10,446 --> 00:11:13,866 Don't do the "oh, forget it" thing. 196 00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:17,536 All right, look, I'm sorry, okay? 197 00:11:17,703 --> 00:11:19,246 I won't go back there. 198 00:11:20,289 --> 00:11:21,874 - Thank you. - Okay. 199 00:11:29,924 --> 00:11:32,760 Goodbye, ravioli stuffed with meat. 200 00:11:35,596 --> 00:11:38,265 I hardly knew ye. 201 00:12:01,071 --> 00:12:02,948 Hey. How's it going? 202 00:12:03,115 --> 00:12:06,535 Hey, tell me something, and be honest. 203 00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:10,080 - What? - How do I look from behind? 204 00:12:10,289 --> 00:12:12,082 Awesome. 205 00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:15,252 I'm asking a serious question, all right. How do I look? 206 00:12:15,461 --> 00:12:16,503 What am I supposed to say? 207 00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:19,048 I know I don't have a good butt in the traditional sense. 208 00:12:19,215 --> 00:12:22,134 I'm just saying, if I could see myself from behind full-on, 209 00:12:22,301 --> 00:12:24,637 would I be in for any surprises? 210 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,848 No. I mean, it's pretty much what you expect when you look at the front. 211 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,100 Oh, good, all right. 212 00:12:30,309 --> 00:12:31,810 - Can we eat now? - Let's do it. 213 00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:33,938 All right, Fiorino's. 214 00:12:35,648 --> 00:12:39,318 - No, I really don't wanna. - What? What are you talking about? 215 00:12:39,485 --> 00:12:42,238 - You said it was gonna be our place. - Yeah, it's just that... 216 00:12:44,949 --> 00:12:48,160 Carrie and I went there and I gotta tell you, they were kind of rude to her. 217 00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:50,746 Really? But they're so friendly over there. 218 00:12:50,913 --> 00:12:53,415 I mean, they call you Mr. Green Shorts. 219 00:12:53,582 --> 00:12:57,127 - They call me Mr. Green Shorts. - Carrie thought they were rude. 220 00:12:57,294 --> 00:13:00,172 - Let's just pick another place. - What did they do that was rude? 221 00:13:00,339 --> 00:13:03,467 Well, one guy sighed, 222 00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:08,514 and the other guy, he might have rolled his eyes, I'm not sure. 223 00:13:08,681 --> 00:13:11,350 Anyway, it was some very rough stuff. 224 00:13:11,851 --> 00:13:13,894 Was this anything like when we went to the movies, 225 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,522 and the popcorn girl "sassed" her? 226 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,316 Very similar, yes. 227 00:13:19,525 --> 00:13:22,611 - So now you can't eat at Fiorino's? - No, I choose not to eat at Fiorino's. 228 00:13:22,778 --> 00:13:24,154 They hurt Carrie's feelings, okay? 229 00:13:24,321 --> 00:13:26,156 I mean, we're a team. We stand by each other. 230 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:30,244 That's right. And if that means I gotta wear a disguise to go to the fruit stand, 231 00:13:30,411 --> 00:13:32,204 then that's the price I gladly pay. 232 00:13:33,163 --> 00:13:36,333 Oh, she's a nutjob, isn't she? 233 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,700 Well, I'm not a doctor, but... 234 00:13:37,835 --> 00:13:40,629 Oh, man, and she really had me going too, you know. 235 00:13:40,796 --> 00:13:43,757 She threw out that whole speech about how her feelings were hurt: 236 00:13:45,634 --> 00:13:48,637 Oh, man, she really was working it. 237 00:13:48,804 --> 00:13:50,723 - She cry? - No, no, no, it was worse, you know. 238 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:52,892 She kind of had that pre-cry mist going, you know. 239 00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:55,352 Yeah, the little quiver on her bottom lip. 240 00:13:56,562 --> 00:13:58,606 Oh, man, she's good, she's damn good. 241 00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,649 Well, listen, I could talk about this all day, 242 00:14:00,816 --> 00:14:02,818 but there's a hunk of lasagne with my name on it. 243 00:14:02,985 --> 00:14:04,778 I'm sorry you can't come. 244 00:14:05,738 --> 00:14:08,115 - Wait. - Yeah? 245 00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:10,618 What's the special today? 246 00:14:10,826 --> 00:14:12,119 I think it's baked ziti. 247 00:14:20,085 --> 00:14:21,587 Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. 248 00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:25,382 Hell, no, man. I got three days of catching up to do. 249 00:14:25,591 --> 00:14:30,095 Excuse me. Yeah, whatever Monday's special was, bring it. 250 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:44,235 Dad, I'm home. Got back early today. 251 00:14:44,777 --> 00:14:46,612 Dad? 252 00:14:48,239 --> 00:14:51,784 Dad, you better not be in our bedroom again. 253 00:14:52,368 --> 00:14:57,081 Look, when I ask for a tote bag, I expect a tote bag. 254 00:14:57,248 --> 00:15:02,002 No, I won't hold, you hold. I'm on hold again. Unbelievable. 255 00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:04,046 What you got going there, Dad? 256 00:15:04,255 --> 00:15:06,757 Say hello to another unlucky bastard chewed up and spit out 257 00:15:06,924 --> 00:15:09,593 by the PBS machine. 258 00:15:12,721 --> 00:15:14,431 Hello. 259 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,810 Look at what those ganefs sent me instead of that beautiful bag. 260 00:15:17,977 --> 00:15:20,646 Dad, this is their entire Civil War series. 261 00:15:20,813 --> 00:15:22,606 - This is great. - Oh, please. 262 00:15:22,773 --> 00:15:25,109 "Father against son, brother against brother." 263 00:15:25,276 --> 00:15:27,570 Cry me a river. 264 00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,615 I'm just saying, this is much more valuable 265 00:15:31,782 --> 00:15:34,493 - than that tote bag you wanted. - Oh, really? 266 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,328 Can I tote my oranges in this? 267 00:15:36,495 --> 00:15:39,832 Will my swim trunks fit in there? No and no. 268 00:15:40,666 --> 00:15:44,795 Look, they probably ran out of tote bags and sent you this instead. 269 00:15:45,004 --> 00:15:49,717 - I didn't buy this, I bought a tote bag. - You didn't buy anything. 270 00:15:49,884 --> 00:15:53,220 You made a donation to public broadcasting. This is a gift. 271 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:57,016 - It's not the gift I wanted. - Hang up. You're acting crazy now. 272 00:15:57,183 --> 00:16:00,311 No, I am not crazy. I'm just not gonna let these people step all over me. 273 00:16:00,477 --> 00:16:02,938 All right, fine. Have a good time. 274 00:16:03,105 --> 00:16:04,899 Yes, I'm here. 275 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,610 Oh, you still claim there are no tote bags, huh? 276 00:16:07,776 --> 00:16:10,362 Then let me speak to your manager. 277 00:16:19,705 --> 00:16:21,999 Hey, Mrs. Green Shorts. 278 00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:24,210 You come back to give us another chance? 279 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,253 Actually, I just came by to apologise. 280 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,505 My behaviour the other night was inexcusable. 281 00:16:28,714 --> 00:16:31,050 No, it's fine. It's okay. You wanted to change your order, 282 00:16:31,217 --> 00:16:33,469 - we change it. No problem. - I never wanted to change... 283 00:16:33,636 --> 00:16:37,515 Not important. Main thing is, I just wanted to come by 284 00:16:37,681 --> 00:16:41,352 and say I'm sorry to you... Oh, and to him. 285 00:16:41,519 --> 00:16:44,063 Hi. Excuse me? Remember me? No caper lady? 286 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:47,107 I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for the other night. I was... 287 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:51,362 Okay, he's still angry, that's understandable. 288 00:16:51,529 --> 00:16:56,450 Also, I don't see the busboy that I threw an olive at. 289 00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:59,078 Would you tell him that I'm sorry too? 290 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,454 Forget about it. It's okay. 291 00:17:00,621 --> 00:17:03,624 - Everything is okay. - Thank you so much. You know what? 292 00:17:03,791 --> 00:17:06,502 I'd love to surprise my husband with a nice, big dinner, 293 00:17:06,669 --> 00:17:10,005 - so load me up with the works, huh? - Really? Okay. 294 00:17:10,172 --> 00:17:12,216 I'll tell you, I thought he would never eat again 295 00:17:12,383 --> 00:17:14,176 after the lunch he had here today. 296 00:17:21,684 --> 00:17:23,644 Oh, God. 297 00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:28,107 - Hello, Douglas. - Hey. 298 00:17:28,274 --> 00:17:30,192 I guess you probably heard through the grapevine 299 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,153 that PBS and I are butting heads. 300 00:17:34,697 --> 00:17:36,657 Yeah, it's all over town. 301 00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:38,075 I got them good though. 302 00:17:38,242 --> 00:17:43,789 I just pledged $1 million on behalf of a Mr. Jim Shorts. 303 00:17:44,957 --> 00:17:47,877 - Get it? You get it? - Yeah, I get it. 304 00:17:49,003 --> 00:17:51,839 - What's the matter with you? - I got a bit of an upset stomach. 305 00:17:52,006 --> 00:17:54,300 I ate lunch angry. 306 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,304 - Anything I can do for you? - No, no, no, I'm fine. Thanks. 307 00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:00,598 Hey, you know what helps when I'm nauseous? 308 00:18:00,764 --> 00:18:03,934 A nice gentle tummy rub. 309 00:18:06,145 --> 00:18:07,980 Would you like one? 310 00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:12,902 No. 311 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:15,905 I have very soft hands. 312 00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:18,949 No. 313 00:18:19,617 --> 00:18:22,912 Come on, I'm your father-in-law. It's the most natural thing in the world. 314 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:26,040 - No. - All right. 315 00:18:30,127 --> 00:18:32,421 - To hell with you, I'm doing it. - Will you stop it? 316 00:18:32,588 --> 00:18:35,424 - You're gonna like me later. - Just stop it. I don't like you now. 317 00:18:35,591 --> 00:18:37,176 Fine. 318 00:18:37,343 --> 00:18:39,887 You gotta sleep sometime. 319 00:18:43,766 --> 00:18:45,643 - Hey, honey. - Hey. 320 00:18:45,809 --> 00:18:47,686 - How you doing? - Good, good, good. Very good. 321 00:18:47,853 --> 00:18:50,231 Listen, I've been wanting to talk to you all day. 322 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,857 Well, you found me. 323 00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:54,360 What's up? 324 00:18:55,319 --> 00:18:58,447 Look, I just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry 325 00:18:58,614 --> 00:19:01,450 for that whole stupid thing the other night at Fiorino's. 326 00:19:02,451 --> 00:19:03,911 - You are? - Yes. 327 00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:07,248 I mean, it just hit me today. I completely overreacted, you know. 328 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:10,960 "I said no capers. Hey, don't you roll your eyes at me." 329 00:19:11,126 --> 00:19:15,297 - Was I out of control, or what? - Maybe a little, yeah. 330 00:19:15,506 --> 00:19:18,551 And then, I actually banned you from going back there. 331 00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:20,052 Could you believe I did that? 332 00:19:20,261 --> 00:19:23,055 Your feelings are your feelings. Nobody has the right to judge you. 333 00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:26,684 Oh, honey, you are so sweet. 334 00:19:26,851 --> 00:19:28,978 Even though the ban was ridiculous, 335 00:19:29,144 --> 00:19:32,064 the most important thing to me is that you respected it, you know. 336 00:19:32,231 --> 00:19:34,733 You supported me. Thank you. 337 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:37,278 Hey, look, who's keeping track of who respected what, 338 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,363 or who supported who? It's a whatever thing. 339 00:19:39,530 --> 00:19:40,698 Bottom line, 340 00:19:40,865 --> 00:19:45,077 - you, me, love, end of story. - I know you had lunch there today. 341 00:19:45,244 --> 00:19:47,663 - Let me finish. - I can't believe you did that. 342 00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:50,457 - You're such a jerk. - You just said the ban was stupid. 343 00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:54,044 It was stupid, but it was still in effect when you had lunch there today. 344 00:19:54,211 --> 00:19:56,463 Yes, but I knew you were a good person 345 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,717 who would eventually come to her senses and lift the ban. 346 00:19:59,884 --> 00:20:02,761 I went there today as a show of faith. 347 00:20:02,928 --> 00:20:04,805 Okay. How's this for coming to my senses? 348 00:20:04,972 --> 00:20:06,599 The ban is back on. 349 00:20:06,765 --> 00:20:09,310 - How do you like that? - You lifted it. You can't put it back. 350 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,562 - Oh, it's back. You're banned. - No, I'm not. 351 00:20:11,770 --> 00:20:13,022 Oh, no? You wanna keep talking? 352 00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:15,316 Because now you're banned from Bagel King. 353 00:20:15,524 --> 00:20:18,444 No way! They've done nothing to you! 354 00:20:18,611 --> 00:20:21,906 Yeah, well, they don't serve light cream cheese, that annoys me. 355 00:20:22,698 --> 00:20:25,117 Okay, fine, fine. You wanna ban me? Then I'm gonna ban you. 356 00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:28,120 Yeah, yeah, that's right. Say goodbye to your nail place, baby. 357 00:20:28,287 --> 00:20:31,874 And you know why? Because I don't like the bell on the door. 358 00:20:32,082 --> 00:20:34,668 Oh, yeah? Well, you just had your last egg roll 359 00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:36,462 from Chef Ming's, my friend. 360 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:37,713 Oh, have I? 361 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,966 Well, you had your last tasty treat from Humphrey Yogarts. Yeah. 362 00:20:41,592 --> 00:20:43,594 - Batting cages. - Loehmanns. 363 00:20:43,761 --> 00:20:46,764 You wanna keep it coming? Come on. What, you think you can hurt me? 364 00:20:55,564 --> 00:20:58,108 You're banned from there too. 365 00:20:58,275 --> 00:21:01,362 Okay, should have thought this through. 366 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,795 Don't fight me. It's gonna happen.