1 00:00:12,854 --> 00:00:14,189 Can I fit there? 2 00:00:14,356 --> 00:00:15,690 Honey, our house could fit there. 3 00:00:15,857 --> 00:00:18,777 All right, I can do without the... guy. 4 00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:33,208 Okay. Getting a little nauseous. 5 00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:35,419 All right, be quiet. 6 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,387 I'm gonna need a bucket. 7 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,223 - You want me to do it? - No, I am doing this. 8 00:00:48,432 --> 00:00:49,516 Okay. 9 00:00:57,607 --> 00:01:01,278 - You gotta cut the wheel. You gotta... - I'm cutting it. 10 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:12,289 - There. - Okay, great job. Let's go. 11 00:01:13,832 --> 00:01:16,042 I'll wait here. 12 00:01:55,594 --> 00:01:57,470 Isn't Carrie back from the supermarket yet? 13 00:01:57,637 --> 00:01:58,972 Yes, but unfortunately, 14 00:01:59,139 --> 00:02:01,433 both she and her groceries are invisible. 15 00:02:03,643 --> 00:02:06,646 I'm sorry, but you make it so easy. 16 00:02:06,897 --> 00:02:09,024 I'm starving. 17 00:02:10,317 --> 00:02:11,860 What do you got there? 18 00:02:12,027 --> 00:02:15,030 - Bologna sandwich. - Bologna? We have bologna? 19 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,700 We had bologna. Now, I'll thank you to stop hovering. 20 00:02:19,326 --> 00:02:20,327 Come on, give me half. 21 00:02:20,535 --> 00:02:23,246 Like you gave me half of your Devil Dog yesterday? 22 00:02:24,998 --> 00:02:26,875 Okay, that was wrong. 23 00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:28,793 Well, too bad. 24 00:02:29,002 --> 00:02:30,712 Oh, this is gonna be heaven. 25 00:02:30,879 --> 00:02:33,506 All right, I don't need your stinking bologna. 26 00:02:35,508 --> 00:02:36,968 - Hey. - Where you been? 27 00:02:37,177 --> 00:02:38,817 I stopped at the bank to pay the mortgage. 28 00:02:39,012 --> 00:02:41,473 The bank? You know my rule. Supermarket, home. Okay? 29 00:02:41,681 --> 00:02:43,391 Save your fun stuff for your own time. 30 00:02:43,975 --> 00:02:47,312 You know me, can't pass up a nice, long line. 31 00:02:47,771 --> 00:02:49,898 What is this? What am I looking at here? 32 00:02:50,106 --> 00:02:52,984 I'm looking at pantiliners and Raid. I need lunch. 33 00:02:53,151 --> 00:02:54,152 Relax, would you? 34 00:02:54,361 --> 00:02:56,571 - There's eight more bags in the car. - Oh, all right. 35 00:02:56,738 --> 00:02:59,032 - Wait, wait, wait. You can't go yet. - Why not? 36 00:02:59,199 --> 00:03:00,992 The Sackskys. They're out in their yard, 37 00:03:01,201 --> 00:03:04,204 - just lurking. - So what? 38 00:03:04,371 --> 00:03:06,748 So I don't wanna get roped into having dinner with them. 39 00:03:06,915 --> 00:03:08,792 Ever since they crashed our barbecue, 40 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,294 they've been trying to invite us over to reciprocate. 41 00:03:11,503 --> 00:03:13,296 - Just give it ten minutes. - Ten minutes? 42 00:03:13,505 --> 00:03:17,008 Carrie, I'm starving here. You know what I had for breakfast? 43 00:03:17,217 --> 00:03:21,137 Actually, I had a good breakfast, but that was a long time ago. 44 00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:22,681 Doug, just wait, okay? 45 00:03:22,889 --> 00:03:25,267 I've dodged them this long. I don't need you to screw it up. 46 00:03:25,475 --> 00:03:26,935 Will you relax? I won't screw it up. 47 00:03:27,143 --> 00:03:29,023 I'll go out there, throw them a "How you doing?" 48 00:03:29,229 --> 00:03:30,772 And... I'm in the garage. 49 00:03:30,939 --> 00:03:32,566 What are you gonna say on your way back? 50 00:03:32,774 --> 00:03:35,151 That's when I go to a "Hey, gotta stop meeting like this." 51 00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:38,655 And by the time they stop laughing, I'm halfway through a grilled cheese. 52 00:03:40,073 --> 00:03:41,324 - Fine, go. - Okay. 53 00:03:44,077 --> 00:03:48,373 - Hey, Tim, how you doing there? - Hey, there's the guy. 54 00:03:52,252 --> 00:03:56,006 - Oh, gotta stop meeting like this. - I'm sorry, what? 55 00:03:57,465 --> 00:03:58,967 We gotta stop meeting like this. 56 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:03,013 You know, because we just saw each other a second ago. 57 00:04:03,221 --> 00:04:06,558 Hey, listen, while I have you, Doug, what say we set up a dinner, huh? 58 00:04:09,269 --> 00:04:11,396 And then... And then... 59 00:04:11,605 --> 00:04:13,085 - This was so funny. - Dottie, let me. 60 00:04:13,273 --> 00:04:14,441 And then he runs out. 61 00:04:14,608 --> 00:04:16,484 Remember, this guy is 4 and a half feet tall. 62 00:04:16,651 --> 00:04:19,738 So now, he's soaking wet. He's running through the train, yelling: 63 00:04:19,946 --> 00:04:22,073 "Help me! Help me!" 64 00:04:24,242 --> 00:04:25,410 Do you remember that? 65 00:04:26,661 --> 00:04:28,955 I hate you for this. 66 00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:34,169 So how was everything? Delish? 67 00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:36,004 - It was great. - Absolutely. Very tasty. 68 00:04:36,213 --> 00:04:39,716 Really? Good. I was a little concerned about the colour of the chicken. 69 00:04:42,886 --> 00:04:44,221 It was fine, Dottie. 70 00:04:44,387 --> 00:04:48,225 Listen, we're just sorry that it took us so long to have you guys over. 71 00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:49,851 Don't give it another thought. 72 00:04:50,060 --> 00:04:52,187 It's just that Dorothy and I have been going through 73 00:04:52,354 --> 00:04:55,190 kind of a rough stretch in our marriage lately. 74 00:04:55,398 --> 00:04:58,151 - Hey, been there. - Yeah? 75 00:04:59,236 --> 00:05:02,489 But we've come out of it better than ever. 76 00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:04,616 Thanks to this one. 77 00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:07,160 You're so sweet. 78 00:05:22,884 --> 00:05:24,678 Are we embarrassing you guys? 79 00:05:24,886 --> 00:05:28,640 - No, no, no. - Hey, dinner and a show. 80 00:05:31,268 --> 00:05:34,604 - Anyway, this has been great. - Yes. Thank you very much. 81 00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:36,106 - Yes. Thanks again. - Yeah. 82 00:05:36,314 --> 00:05:39,025 You can't go. We haven't even had dessert yet. 83 00:05:39,651 --> 00:05:41,027 Tim, go put the pie in the oven. 84 00:05:41,194 --> 00:05:42,914 Doug, why don't you help me with the dishes? 85 00:05:43,113 --> 00:05:45,991 The girls can stay out here and catch up on their: 86 00:05:46,157 --> 00:05:51,204 Yeah, yeah, sure, Tim. Alrighty, gonna help with the dishes. 87 00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:57,002 So when are we going shopping? 88 00:05:59,212 --> 00:06:04,718 Okay, that baby should be all warmed up in about 20 minutes. 89 00:06:07,137 --> 00:06:09,806 Hey, microwave's faster. 90 00:06:10,515 --> 00:06:13,518 No. Hey, Doug, can I ask you a question? 91 00:06:13,727 --> 00:06:17,480 - Yeah, sure, sure. - Do you enjoy a nice glass of water? 92 00:06:20,859 --> 00:06:24,112 Yeah, when I can't get a beer or any other liquid. 93 00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:29,201 Try this. 94 00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:31,411 All right. 95 00:06:34,289 --> 00:06:35,916 Well? 96 00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:38,627 It's good. 97 00:06:40,003 --> 00:06:41,630 So you like it. 98 00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:46,384 Yeah. You know, we have this at our place too, Tim. 99 00:06:46,927 --> 00:06:49,054 No. No, see, that's where you're wrong, my friend. 100 00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:53,141 See, your water doesn't go through the Sparkle Tap. 101 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:57,354 - Got yourself a little water filter, huh? - I don't just got one. 102 00:06:57,562 --> 00:06:59,356 I sell them. 103 00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:02,067 It's the cutest little outlet store you've ever seen, 104 00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:04,694 and it's only a two-hour drive upstate. 105 00:07:06,446 --> 00:07:10,575 And they have the worst security. 106 00:07:13,787 --> 00:07:16,623 Then I licence ten people to sell the Sparkle Tap, 107 00:07:16,831 --> 00:07:18,875 then they each licence ten more people, 108 00:07:19,084 --> 00:07:21,127 and so on, and so on. 109 00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:25,006 I get a cut from the sale of each filter and from the sale of each licence. 110 00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:27,509 - Incredible, huh? - It's incredible. 111 00:07:27,676 --> 00:07:29,886 - Incredible. - Yeah. 112 00:07:30,095 --> 00:07:32,472 But you know, Doug, last year when I was fired, 113 00:07:32,681 --> 00:07:35,141 we came very close to losing this house. 114 00:07:35,308 --> 00:07:38,728 I mean, I owed a lot of money to a lot of scary people. 115 00:07:40,230 --> 00:07:43,733 But now, thanks to Sparkle Tap, I've got a new job. 116 00:07:43,942 --> 00:07:45,819 Walking to the mailbox in my pyjamas 117 00:07:45,986 --> 00:07:49,406 and taking out cheques from people I don't even know. 118 00:07:49,656 --> 00:07:51,533 Wow, that's great, man. 119 00:07:51,908 --> 00:07:53,285 You really like the idea? 120 00:07:53,493 --> 00:07:55,704 Yeah. You obviously got a great mind for business. 121 00:07:56,997 --> 00:07:58,874 Thank you. 122 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,127 So you wanna start with 50 or a hundred filters? 123 00:08:02,627 --> 00:08:06,047 What? Oh, no, no, I didn't mean that I wanted to. I was just... 124 00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:10,594 - Just what? Just blowing smoke? - No, no, no. When I... I didn't know... 125 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,847 Doug, if you don't think it's a good idea, just say that. Don't humour me. 126 00:08:14,055 --> 00:08:15,056 I'm not humouring you. 127 00:08:15,265 --> 00:08:18,768 See, now it all makes sense why you guys have been avoiding us. 128 00:08:18,935 --> 00:08:22,189 - We're just the idiots next door, right? - No, come on, Tim, that's not true. 129 00:08:22,397 --> 00:08:26,151 We love seeing you guys. And this filter thing? Hell of an idea. 130 00:08:27,694 --> 00:08:30,155 Okay. Sorry. 131 00:08:30,322 --> 00:08:32,365 So 50 or a hundred? 132 00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,493 I think 50. 133 00:08:39,789 --> 00:08:41,833 God, that was brutal. 134 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,420 Capital B, capital R, "utal." 135 00:08:46,213 --> 00:08:47,923 I didn't think it was that bad. 136 00:08:48,089 --> 00:08:49,799 Yeah, that's because you weren't invited 137 00:08:49,966 --> 00:08:52,886 on an upstate crime spree. 138 00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:58,266 I gotta say, I'm actually kind of glad we went over there tonight. 139 00:08:58,475 --> 00:08:59,851 - Why? - I don't know, 140 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,437 it gave me a chance to get to know Tim a little better. 141 00:09:02,604 --> 00:09:05,148 Did you know he didn't learn to swim till he was 23? 142 00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:10,278 Really? Remind me to send you a picture of me yawning. 143 00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:14,658 I'm just saying, Carrie, Tim's an interesting guy. 144 00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:16,826 You know, he's a real go-getter. 145 00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:19,371 Do you know he runs a business out of his house? 146 00:09:19,538 --> 00:09:22,874 If we hadn't gone over there tonight, I might not have... 147 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,293 Might not have what? 148 00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:29,714 I might not have had the very good opportunity to... 149 00:09:30,757 --> 00:09:33,468 Opportunity to what? 150 00:09:33,635 --> 00:09:38,265 To give him a thousand-dollar cheque to become a licensed distributor. 151 00:09:38,473 --> 00:09:40,350 You gave him a thousand dollars? 152 00:09:40,517 --> 00:09:41,852 To distribute what? 153 00:09:42,018 --> 00:09:46,982 Okay, first of all, lose the attitude. Second of all, water filters. 154 00:09:48,066 --> 00:09:49,609 This is not happening. 155 00:09:50,235 --> 00:09:52,696 Oh, yes, it is. 156 00:09:52,863 --> 00:09:56,032 Doug, are you insane? You're gonna sell water filters? 157 00:09:56,199 --> 00:10:00,287 Yes. And the licences to sell them. That's where the real money is. 158 00:10:00,495 --> 00:10:03,123 No, the real money is now in Tim's bank account. 159 00:10:04,916 --> 00:10:08,503 Oh, my God. Now I know why they separated us after dinner. 160 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:10,297 To pounce on the weak one. 161 00:10:15,302 --> 00:10:18,221 Yeah, I get it. Yeah. You're the genius and I'm the moron. Right? 162 00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:22,434 Okay, I'll buy one. Tell me about the rabbits. 163 00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:27,522 I will love him and I will pet him and I will take good care of him. 164 00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:30,859 Because you are my friend, George. He's my friend. 165 00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:33,612 Let me tell you, I know how to spot a good thing when I see one. 166 00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:35,363 I happen to be very sawy. 167 00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:38,992 - Sawy? - Sawy. Yes, I know that word. 168 00:10:39,784 --> 00:10:41,661 Okay, Mr. Sawy, 169 00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:44,956 why don't you tell me how you're gonna get rich selling water filters? 170 00:10:45,165 --> 00:10:50,045 Okay, try and stay with me this time. It's not the filters, it's the licences. 171 00:10:50,212 --> 00:10:52,672 Okay, the licences. You see this here? 172 00:10:52,839 --> 00:10:54,466 "Official licensee." 173 00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:57,177 This is all official stuff. Take a look at it. 174 00:10:57,385 --> 00:11:00,013 Yeah. Feel a little silly now, don't you? 175 00:11:05,352 --> 00:11:07,395 Get your pants on. We're gonna get your money back. 176 00:11:07,646 --> 00:11:09,439 No, my pants are off and they're staying off. 177 00:11:09,648 --> 00:11:12,484 Doug, he duped you into a stupid marketing scheme. 178 00:11:12,651 --> 00:11:14,110 Okay, it is not a scheme. 179 00:11:14,319 --> 00:11:16,530 It's a multilevel marketing system, okay? And it works. 180 00:11:16,738 --> 00:11:19,407 Tim's making so much money now he doesn't even go to work anymore. 181 00:11:19,574 --> 00:11:21,952 He spends two to three days at a time in his pyjamas. 182 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,870 Oh, yeah? You know who else does that? 183 00:11:24,079 --> 00:11:26,790 The old and the mentally ill. 184 00:11:27,249 --> 00:11:30,585 Well, tell that club they're about to get a new member. 185 00:11:40,072 --> 00:11:43,409 Okay. Now try this one. 186 00:11:52,168 --> 00:11:53,878 Well? 187 00:11:54,128 --> 00:11:55,671 They taste the same. 188 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,549 Come on, Carrie, they can't taste the same. This one's tap water. 189 00:11:58,716 --> 00:11:59,717 It's full of... 190 00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,802 Where the hell is that thing? 191 00:12:02,345 --> 00:12:05,681 It's full of "ammonia, latex emulsions, lead." 192 00:12:05,848 --> 00:12:09,518 And look at this. "Benzene." Benzene, Carrie. 193 00:12:09,727 --> 00:12:11,771 You know, it's not too late to get your money back. 194 00:12:11,938 --> 00:12:14,148 I don't want to, okay? I can make some real money here. 195 00:12:14,315 --> 00:12:15,316 Did you realise 196 00:12:15,524 --> 00:12:19,445 that people spend an average of $600 a year on bottled water? 197 00:12:19,654 --> 00:12:22,657 Well, that's 400 less than you've spent, and it's only May. 198 00:12:27,203 --> 00:12:28,913 You know what? I can't even listen to you. 199 00:12:29,121 --> 00:12:32,291 That's clearly the benzene talking. 200 00:12:34,335 --> 00:12:36,128 - Morning, all. - Morning, Dad. 201 00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:40,299 Hey, Arthur. Can I interest you in a freshly filtered glass of water? 202 00:12:40,508 --> 00:12:42,301 Water, huh? 203 00:12:42,468 --> 00:12:44,188 All right. What the hell, I'll have a glass. 204 00:12:44,387 --> 00:12:45,554 All right. 205 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:49,058 Here you go. One delicious glass of water coming up. 206 00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:57,191 Well, spank me hard and call me Rhonda. 207 00:12:58,401 --> 00:13:01,320 This is one fine glass of H2O. 208 00:13:01,571 --> 00:13:03,030 You think so? 209 00:13:04,282 --> 00:13:05,533 How about that? 210 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:11,080 So, what is this contraption that turns a glass of water into nature's nectar? 211 00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:14,333 It's the Sparkle Tap water filter. I'm selling them now. 212 00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:17,545 Beautiful. If I had a sink, I'd buy one for myself. 213 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,255 You know what? I have a better idea. 214 00:13:19,422 --> 00:13:21,549 You know people who do have sinks, don't you? 215 00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,801 I may or may not. What's your angle? 216 00:13:25,094 --> 00:13:27,638 I am now authorized to sell you a licence 217 00:13:27,805 --> 00:13:31,058 that allows you to sell these babies to whoever you want. 218 00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:35,980 This is me leaning forward with interest. 219 00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:39,650 All right, well, lean back with interest or have a mint. 220 00:13:42,111 --> 00:13:44,864 So come on, now, son. What's the deal with this? 221 00:13:45,072 --> 00:13:46,073 Give me the skinny. 222 00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:49,994 It's simple. Okay, I sell you the filters, plus the licences to sell the filters. 223 00:13:50,161 --> 00:13:52,914 Then you find ten people and sell them the licences. 224 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,750 - Oh, no, no, no. - Do you mind? 225 00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:57,752 We're in the middle of an important meeting. 226 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,963 Yes, I do. You are not dragging my father into this. 227 00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:03,132 I'm not dragging him in. He knows what he's doing. 228 00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:06,135 He happens to be very sawy as well. 229 00:14:09,055 --> 00:14:12,141 Okay, now I'm convinced you don't know what that word means. 230 00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:14,226 Excuse me, darling, the last time I checked, 231 00:14:14,393 --> 00:14:17,396 I was over 21 and capable of making my own decisions. 232 00:14:17,772 --> 00:14:20,232 Now, this is a fine product, Douglas is a great guy, 233 00:14:20,399 --> 00:14:21,567 and I'm going in on this. 234 00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:23,861 There we go. 235 00:14:25,947 --> 00:14:28,324 Fine, fine, do what you want. 236 00:14:33,454 --> 00:14:35,748 Okay, Douglas, what's the buy-in? 237 00:14:35,957 --> 00:14:37,333 It's a thousand dollars. 238 00:14:38,251 --> 00:14:39,794 Very reasonable. 239 00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:42,088 Unfortunately, I'm a little cash-strapped. 240 00:14:42,255 --> 00:14:43,965 Do you accept artwork? 241 00:14:47,051 --> 00:14:50,304 So you're telling me there are actually pesticides in our drinking water? 242 00:14:50,513 --> 00:14:51,764 Frightening, but true. 243 00:14:51,973 --> 00:14:54,267 But with this baby's nanofiltration system, 244 00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:56,394 99 percent are filtered out. 245 00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:00,731 Bye-bye, nasty pesticides. Hello, tastier soups. 246 00:15:00,898 --> 00:15:03,276 So in other words, I can make money... 247 00:15:03,526 --> 00:15:05,403 And do something great for your family's health 248 00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,946 for only a thousand bucks. 249 00:15:07,154 --> 00:15:09,282 I like what I'm hearing. Hey, I'm in. Take a cheque? 250 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:10,658 Absolutely. 251 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:14,203 Okay, so Deac's buying a licence. I only got nine left. 252 00:15:14,412 --> 00:15:16,122 Who's it gonna be? Peacock? 253 00:15:16,372 --> 00:15:19,375 Hey, Eddie. What do you say, huh? Come on, man. 254 00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:22,378 Hey, let's do it. You know what? Take your time. Think it over. 255 00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:24,630 Talk to the Missis. 256 00:15:26,048 --> 00:15:28,593 - Sorry, man. - That's cool, man. They'll be back. 257 00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:30,386 Oh, yeah. 258 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:33,139 - Yeah. Hey, give me my cheque. - Right. Sorry. 259 00:15:34,515 --> 00:15:35,975 Not interested. 260 00:15:36,225 --> 00:15:39,895 I'm not asking you to buy anything. Just try the water. 261 00:15:40,104 --> 00:15:41,731 I'm not interested. 262 00:15:41,981 --> 00:15:43,691 Just try it. It's delicious. 263 00:15:43,858 --> 00:15:45,484 I don't want it. 264 00:15:45,693 --> 00:15:48,779 How can you not want a glass of water? Drink it. 265 00:15:48,988 --> 00:15:51,365 No, I won't. 266 00:15:51,532 --> 00:15:53,576 And you can't make me. 267 00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:57,997 You're gonna have to take a pill eventually. I'll wait you out. 268 00:16:07,506 --> 00:16:10,509 - All right, I'll take a filter. - What the hell, I'll take one too. 269 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,470 I'm not asking you to just buy a filter. 270 00:16:12,678 --> 00:16:16,599 I'm asking you to buy into a way of life. 271 00:16:16,849 --> 00:16:19,060 I don't even want the filter. 272 00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:23,230 Well, that you're committed to. You said yes. That's an oral contract. 273 00:16:23,481 --> 00:16:24,649 So, what do you want from me? 274 00:16:24,899 --> 00:16:29,362 I want you to be a licensed Sparkle Tap salesman and get rich. 275 00:16:29,612 --> 00:16:32,073 You sure I'm gonna get rich? 276 00:16:33,157 --> 00:16:34,951 Yes, I am. 277 00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,453 Okay, I guess I'm in. 278 00:16:37,703 --> 00:16:39,413 Don't be an idiot. It's a pyramid scheme. 279 00:16:39,622 --> 00:16:42,458 - It is? - It is not a pyramid scheme. 280 00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,126 And "shutee." 281 00:16:44,293 --> 00:16:45,920 How is it not a pyramid scheme? 282 00:16:46,128 --> 00:16:48,589 You have a product of little or no value, 283 00:16:48,756 --> 00:16:50,549 the only actual profit comes 284 00:16:50,758 --> 00:16:52,468 from constantly recruiting new members 285 00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:55,930 which you inevitably run out of, and the whole thing collapses. 286 00:16:57,098 --> 00:17:00,351 Don't make me Cactus Jack your aSS. 287 00:17:17,785 --> 00:17:19,745 Hey, Doug, thanks again for inviting me over. 288 00:17:19,954 --> 00:17:23,124 Haven't heard from you in a hell of a long time there, guy. 289 00:17:23,332 --> 00:17:25,293 Yeah, we should call each other more, you know? 290 00:17:25,501 --> 00:17:29,171 Well, I called you. I left you a bunch of messages. 291 00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:31,257 Have you? 292 00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:34,093 Carrie is heavy with that delete finger, you know? 293 00:17:34,302 --> 00:17:37,305 "Not for me. Not for me." 294 00:17:37,555 --> 00:17:39,849 We've had some real blowouts about that. 295 00:17:40,057 --> 00:17:42,351 No problem. The main thing is we're here now. 296 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,314 Absolutely, man. This is what it's all about: Family. 297 00:17:47,356 --> 00:17:49,066 Hey, cousin. 298 00:17:49,817 --> 00:17:51,444 Hey. 299 00:17:51,652 --> 00:17:56,032 All right, we got our snacks, got our movie, we got it all. 300 00:17:56,198 --> 00:17:58,993 Oh, wait a second. Beverages. 301 00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:02,121 How do you feel about water? 302 00:18:02,371 --> 00:18:05,541 It's about family, huh? Yeah, as long as that family's buying a water filter! 303 00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:09,378 - It filters out the impurities! - I don't care! I don't like being used! 304 00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:11,672 Oh, what, are you gonna make pizzas your whole life? 305 00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:14,091 It's better than paying $1000 for a water filter. 306 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:17,970 - No, no, that was for the licences! - Whatever! 307 00:18:20,264 --> 00:18:24,977 - So how's the water business? - Good. And getting better. 308 00:18:29,857 --> 00:18:32,401 Cappiello, come on, you've had time to think. 309 00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,487 Hey, Voss. Voss, come on, man. What do you say? 310 00:18:34,654 --> 00:18:36,530 I bought cookies from your kid. 311 00:18:36,739 --> 00:18:38,866 Come on, man. Hey, Betcher. 312 00:18:39,075 --> 00:18:40,952 You gave me a "maybe." What's up with that? 313 00:18:41,118 --> 00:18:42,745 Come on, you gave me a "maybe." 314 00:18:43,537 --> 00:18:45,748 Fine. Now I know why your wife left you. 315 00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,959 Because you don't know a good thing when you see it. 316 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:49,627 Yeah, that's right, I said it. 317 00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:52,797 Yeah, you got a problem? You bring it. Oh, my God. 318 00:18:53,214 --> 00:18:54,382 Here's the deal. 319 00:18:54,548 --> 00:18:56,842 You become part of the Sparkle Tap team, 320 00:18:57,051 --> 00:18:59,971 and I will convert to your religion. 321 00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:10,523 - So you didn't sell one, huh? - Nope. 322 00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:13,234 In fact, two of my samples were stolen. 323 00:19:13,401 --> 00:19:14,735 Put that on my tab. 324 00:19:15,444 --> 00:19:17,071 Sure, what's the difference? 325 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,531 Oh, boy. 326 00:19:18,739 --> 00:19:21,826 When I was a younger man, Douglas, I could really close the deal. 327 00:19:22,034 --> 00:19:27,164 They'd come in, I'd turn on the charm and I'd make the sale every time. 328 00:19:27,331 --> 00:19:30,126 - Yeah, what did you sell? - Gasoline. 329 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,964 I feel like such an idiot. 330 00:19:35,131 --> 00:19:37,508 I swear, I wish there was a pill I could take, go to sleep, 331 00:19:37,675 --> 00:19:40,469 wake up two days from now like none of this ever happened. 332 00:19:40,678 --> 00:19:42,013 Yeah. 333 00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:45,933 - Where are you going? - I'm gonna take that pill. 334 00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,811 See you Thursday. 335 00:19:52,148 --> 00:19:53,774 Hey. 336 00:19:53,941 --> 00:19:55,026 How's business? 337 00:19:55,276 --> 00:19:57,320 Well, let's see. Your father got two filters stolen, 338 00:19:57,528 --> 00:20:00,615 I crushed one in my bare hands, and the rest are in the garage. 339 00:20:00,823 --> 00:20:02,366 It's over. 340 00:20:02,575 --> 00:20:06,579 Look, you took a shot and it didn't work out. 341 00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:08,956 I think the lesson here 342 00:20:09,123 --> 00:20:11,250 is don't take any more shots. 343 00:20:12,668 --> 00:20:14,211 Come on. On the brighter side, 344 00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:16,505 we have some nice, clean drinking water, right? 345 00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:20,051 Actually, I took the filter off. The water started coming out black. 346 00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:25,556 I can't believe it. I let Tim make such a fool of me. 347 00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:28,643 You know what? I'm going over there. 348 00:20:28,809 --> 00:20:30,269 - Good, good. Go. - Yeah. 349 00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:31,854 I got news for you. You know what? 350 00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:33,703 I'm not gonna just make him give my money. 351 00:20:33,898 --> 00:20:37,151 I'm gonna tell him, those filters I lost are coming out of his Pyjama pocket. 352 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:41,656 - Oh, baby, you're turning me on. - Oh, I know I am, Pokémon. 353 00:20:43,532 --> 00:20:46,619 Well, then, get over there. Get over there and hurry back. 354 00:20:46,827 --> 00:20:49,997 Yeah, I'll be back in five minutes after I set him straight. 355 00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:55,436 Tim? 356 00:21:02,568 --> 00:21:04,195 Tim? 357 00:21:09,491 --> 00:21:12,035 And you know, this is when your little one's bones are forming, 358 00:21:12,202 --> 00:21:15,371 so you wanna make sure your water is as pure as possible. 359 00:21:15,538 --> 00:21:17,749 And I bet you have a lot of little friends at school 360 00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:19,959 that want clean water, don't you? 361 00:21:20,168 --> 00:21:21,878 Don't you?