1 00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:05,124 Douglas, just the man I wanted to see. 2 00:00:05,291 --> 00:00:07,501 Give my résumé a once-over, will you? 3 00:00:07,668 --> 00:00:10,212 Your résumé? What's that about? You wanna go back to work? 4 00:00:10,379 --> 00:00:13,382 Yeah, I just can't take it anymore, Douglas, 5 00:00:13,549 --> 00:00:16,093 sitting alone in that basement all day. 6 00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:21,307 I'll be honest with you, I'm starting to have some very strange thoughts. 7 00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:22,683 Really? 8 00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:25,394 Hadn't picked up on that. 9 00:00:25,603 --> 00:00:29,398 So this gonna land me a job or what? 10 00:00:29,565 --> 00:00:33,319 Well, my first thought is you might not wanna do it in Magic Marker. 11 00:00:37,156 --> 00:00:39,825 And which Little Rascal were you? 12 00:00:40,034 --> 00:00:45,373 Onions. Beloved by millions till that bastard Alfalfa took it all away. 13 00:00:46,958 --> 00:00:49,293 All right, this, see, I gotta throw a flag on this, okay? 14 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,128 Somebody's gonna check with NASA. 15 00:00:51,337 --> 00:00:53,255 That's for me to worry about. All I wanted 16 00:00:53,422 --> 00:00:55,508 was for you to double-check my spelling and grammar, 17 00:00:55,675 --> 00:00:57,468 not nitpick at every little detail! 18 00:00:57,677 --> 00:01:01,430 Okay! Fine! You spelled GPA wrong. Other than that, it's perfect. 19 00:01:03,057 --> 00:01:04,934 Thank you. 20 00:01:38,093 --> 00:01:40,762 So there I am watching TV with my mom, 21 00:01:40,929 --> 00:01:43,932 and I turn to her and go, "Hey, when is Aunt Gwinnie getting here?" 22 00:01:44,099 --> 00:01:48,686 So I hear Larry King on the TV say, "She'll be with us at 7." 23 00:01:50,422 --> 00:01:53,466 See, he was talking about a guest, I think it was Joyce DeWitt 24 00:01:53,633 --> 00:01:55,677 or Cindy Williams, I always get those two mixed up. 25 00:01:55,844 --> 00:01:59,431 But it sounded like he was answering me. 26 00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,558 That's so weird, isn't it? 27 00:02:04,561 --> 00:02:06,730 I wonder where Doug is. 28 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,233 I bet you wish to God you hadn't lost your house key. 29 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,153 No, no. This is nice. 30 00:02:13,361 --> 00:02:17,449 Did you read that thing in the Times about how some men can lactate? 31 00:02:18,533 --> 00:02:19,701 Man, that was awesome! 32 00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:21,661 It's a rush every time you get on. 33 00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,246 - Hey. - Hey, babe. What's up? 34 00:02:23,413 --> 00:02:26,624 Oh, not much, I was just out riding on Richie's hog. 35 00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:29,169 Okay, please rephrase that. 36 00:02:29,377 --> 00:02:30,712 I got a motorcycle. 37 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,048 - Really? - Yeah, it's unbelievable. 38 00:02:33,256 --> 00:02:35,675 We went from here to Modell's and back in two minutes. 39 00:02:35,842 --> 00:02:39,095 It's so fast. You zip in and out through traffic. And I gotta level with you, 40 00:02:39,262 --> 00:02:43,475 there was a breeze blowing up my shorts that felt like Christmas. 41 00:02:44,768 --> 00:02:47,187 - Very nice. House key, please? - Oh, right. 42 00:02:47,395 --> 00:02:48,730 God, that was so cool. 43 00:02:48,897 --> 00:02:50,732 Everybody's looking at you, like, whizzing by. 44 00:02:50,899 --> 00:02:53,276 And then out of nowhere, Richie just pulls this wheelie. 45 00:02:53,485 --> 00:02:56,363 I wasn't going for one. You just leaned back. 46 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,573 You know, from here, 47 00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:02,410 it sounds like Mr. Doug wants to buy himself a motorcycle. 48 00:03:02,619 --> 00:03:04,829 You know what? I am a little tempted. 49 00:03:05,038 --> 00:03:07,082 Moose, you should see the guy that I got mine from. 50 00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:09,918 He's got some real beauties cheap and they run like new. 51 00:03:10,126 --> 00:03:13,338 You know what? Give me his number. Maybe I'll give him a call... 52 00:03:13,505 --> 00:03:16,007 - You're not getting a motorcycle. - Why not? If I want... 53 00:03:16,174 --> 00:03:18,259 Okay, Doug, did you not hear my buzzer noise? 54 00:03:18,426 --> 00:03:20,887 - This is not gonna happen. - Why not? 55 00:03:21,054 --> 00:03:23,973 Because they're too dangerous, and people die on them. 56 00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,351 I don't wanna have to constantly worry about you. 57 00:03:26,559 --> 00:03:29,104 - But, Carrie, I wouldn't... - Doug, no motorcycle. 58 00:03:29,270 --> 00:03:32,440 If you want, I'll buy you a Schwinn, we'll put a baseball card in the spokes, 59 00:03:32,607 --> 00:03:35,318 it'll sound almost the same, okay? 60 00:03:35,527 --> 00:03:37,737 Screw that noise. 61 00:03:37,946 --> 00:03:39,155 I can get one if I want. 62 00:03:39,322 --> 00:03:41,992 Okay, Doug, give me your hand, I wanna make this easy for you. 63 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,452 No. 64 00:03:44,911 --> 00:03:46,913 No. 65 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,165 Give me the keys, I don't wanna miss The Real World. 66 00:03:49,332 --> 00:03:51,042 I love you. Don't be home late. Bye, guys. 67 00:03:51,251 --> 00:03:52,460 - Later, Carrie. - Bye. 68 00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:57,340 - What? - Nothing. 69 00:03:57,507 --> 00:04:01,177 So you wanna shoot some pool, Mrs. Heffernan? 70 00:04:02,554 --> 00:04:05,932 Yeah, we could spot you two balls. 71 00:04:08,852 --> 00:04:12,647 Hey, so much for traditional gender roles, huh? 72 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,153 I'm gonna use the bathroom. 73 00:04:19,237 --> 00:04:21,364 So yeah, you wanna shoot a game? For real. 74 00:04:21,573 --> 00:04:23,575 No. You know what, no, thanks. 75 00:04:23,783 --> 00:04:25,201 Come on, we're just kidding around. 76 00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:27,996 It's not you, it's Carrie. I mean, what was that about? 77 00:04:28,204 --> 00:04:32,542 "No. No discussion... sorry... sorry." 78 00:04:32,709 --> 00:04:34,210 Easy. Easy. 79 00:04:35,628 --> 00:04:37,339 I just thought marriage was supposed to be 80 00:04:37,505 --> 00:04:40,133 this mutual sharing dialog thing. 81 00:04:40,342 --> 00:04:42,052 No. 82 00:04:42,552 --> 00:04:45,138 You know what? Ours is, usually. 83 00:04:45,347 --> 00:04:49,643 Oh, really? Last year, where was it you wanted to go on vacation? 84 00:04:49,851 --> 00:04:51,936 - Baseball Hall of Fame. - Baseball Hall of Fame. 85 00:04:52,145 --> 00:04:55,231 Cooperstown. And where'd you end up going? 86 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,900 Antiquing in Connecticut. 87 00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,485 So you did. 88 00:04:58,652 --> 00:05:02,489 And last week, when we were renting movies to watch with the wives, 89 00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:03,865 what did we end up renting? 90 00:05:05,950 --> 00:05:06,993 I can't remember. 91 00:05:07,202 --> 00:05:08,912 - No, what did we rent? - I don't know. 92 00:05:09,079 --> 00:05:10,455 - What did we rent? - Hope Floats! 93 00:05:10,622 --> 00:05:11,998 There it is! Hope Floats! 94 00:05:12,165 --> 00:05:15,877 You see what I'm saying? You're married. Don't fight it. 95 00:05:16,044 --> 00:05:21,466 You just gotta focus on a point on the wall, and let it happen. 96 00:05:21,675 --> 00:05:24,094 No. No, you know what? You focus. Not this guy. 97 00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:27,305 I'm picking up my own soap and I'm getting out of the shower. 98 00:05:27,514 --> 00:05:30,225 Soap? What the hell are you talking about? 99 00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:32,477 I don't know. What were you talking about? 100 00:05:36,356 --> 00:05:38,316 - She's pretty sweet, huh? - Oh, that she is. 101 00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:40,485 Richie's right, you do nice work. 102 00:05:40,652 --> 00:05:43,154 Yeah, I hollowed out the cams, put in bigger piston heads, 103 00:05:43,321 --> 00:05:45,073 you know, give her a couple more horses. 104 00:05:45,824 --> 00:05:49,452 Good. Good, yeah, because I probably would've hollowed them out myself. 105 00:05:49,619 --> 00:05:52,080 Now I don't have to, that's good. 106 00:05:52,288 --> 00:05:54,124 So you wanna do the deal? 107 00:05:54,332 --> 00:05:57,335 - Don't know. What do you want for it? - Twelve hundred. 108 00:05:57,544 --> 00:05:59,713 It's a nice bike but I don't know if it's 1200 nice. 109 00:05:59,879 --> 00:06:02,090 - Twelve hundred. - It is nice. 110 00:06:02,841 --> 00:06:07,137 Still, I don't know. You know, 1200. 111 00:06:09,139 --> 00:06:11,433 What are you looking for? 112 00:06:12,017 --> 00:06:14,561 I don't know. Here's 1200. 113 00:06:18,189 --> 00:06:20,317 Darling, I need to borrow the iron. 114 00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:22,319 Dad, I've told you, 115 00:06:22,527 --> 00:06:26,323 if you want a grilled cheese sandwich, I will make you one. 116 00:06:26,489 --> 00:06:29,159 No, no, I just wanted to press my pants. 117 00:06:29,868 --> 00:06:32,120 I got a job interview in the morning. 118 00:06:32,329 --> 00:06:36,166 Really? Good for you. What for? 119 00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:39,794 Head of Paediatrics, Long Island Jewish. 120 00:06:43,256 --> 00:06:46,301 Great. Sure hope you don't get it. 121 00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:49,637 Okay, I think I know where that came from. 122 00:06:49,804 --> 00:06:52,515 Now, look, I love you. 123 00:06:52,682 --> 00:06:57,187 When I go back to work, you will not become a latchkey child. 124 00:06:57,354 --> 00:06:59,856 That is my pledge to you. 125 00:07:47,112 --> 00:07:49,072 - Hey, babe. - Hi. 126 00:07:50,115 --> 00:07:52,659 What happened? I thought you were coming home right after work. 127 00:07:52,826 --> 00:07:54,494 Actually, I stopped somewhere first. 128 00:07:54,661 --> 00:07:57,747 In fact, I need to talk to you. 129 00:07:57,956 --> 00:07:59,666 Let me just get dinner started real quick. 130 00:07:59,874 --> 00:08:02,085 Dinner can wait. You know, I wanna get this out now. 131 00:08:02,293 --> 00:08:07,507 Dinner can wait? Okay, now you're really scaring me. 132 00:08:11,803 --> 00:08:13,138 Well, what? 133 00:08:13,304 --> 00:08:16,016 Carrie, sometimes in a marriage, 134 00:08:18,768 --> 00:08:25,025 there comes a time when one of the members 135 00:08:25,191 --> 00:08:28,862 of that marriage needs to express themselves in a way that... 136 00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:31,740 Douglas, that is one badass motorcycle you got out there. 137 00:08:31,906 --> 00:08:34,034 Nice work, kiddo. 138 00:08:46,963 --> 00:08:50,300 - You got a motorcycle? - Can I finish my story, please? 139 00:08:50,508 --> 00:08:53,136 - You got a motorcycle? - Yeah, yeah, I got a bike. 140 00:08:53,303 --> 00:08:55,263 I got a bike. There, I said it. I don't care. 141 00:08:55,472 --> 00:08:57,390 I said it. It's out there. 142 00:08:59,768 --> 00:09:03,396 By the way, Douglas, did Carrie tell you I got a job interview? 143 00:09:04,773 --> 00:09:08,318 Honey, you can't run from this, Daddy needs to work. 144 00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:10,403 Douglas, get after her. 145 00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:14,157 Have you lost your mind? I mean, we discussed this. 146 00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:16,201 No, no, we didn't discuss it, you discussed it. 147 00:09:16,368 --> 00:09:18,036 I barely got a sentence in. 148 00:09:18,244 --> 00:09:20,914 Doug, I specifically forbade you from buying this. 149 00:09:21,081 --> 00:09:24,751 Forbade me? You can't forbade me. 150 00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:27,921 Are you insane? I mean, what the hell do you think you're doing here? 151 00:09:28,129 --> 00:09:31,257 I knew you would overreact like this. I just wanted one, huh? It'll be fun. 152 00:09:31,466 --> 00:09:34,302 Fun? Really? Will it be fun when you're in a wheelchair? 153 00:09:35,095 --> 00:09:36,846 Maybe. 154 00:09:37,681 --> 00:09:40,976 - This is going back tomorrow. - No, it's not going back tomorrow. 155 00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:43,895 - Oh, it is. - Oh, it's not. 156 00:09:44,062 --> 00:09:47,232 - It's so going back. - It's so not going back. 157 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,526 Okay, Doug, not only are you stupid for buying this, 158 00:09:49,693 --> 00:09:52,195 but you're arguing about it in a really annoying way. 159 00:09:52,404 --> 00:09:54,447 Tough noogies. 160 00:09:57,158 --> 00:09:58,702 Look, I'm keeping the motorcycle. 161 00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:01,121 For once, I'm wearing the pants in the family. 162 00:10:01,329 --> 00:10:03,373 - Fine. Keep the damn bike. - Fine. I will. 163 00:10:03,581 --> 00:10:04,624 - Fine. - I will. 164 00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:05,834 - Fine. - I will! 165 00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,086 And by the way, if you wanna wear the pants, 166 00:10:08,253 --> 00:10:11,089 you might think about pulling them up. 167 00:10:20,859 --> 00:10:24,195 Well, Peaches, I think congratulations are in order. 168 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,573 Your father got himself a job. 169 00:10:27,198 --> 00:10:30,660 Well, I'm gonna assume it's not the head of Paediatrics? 170 00:10:30,827 --> 00:10:34,664 No, no, unfortunately, they did a little fishing around. 171 00:10:34,831 --> 00:10:36,916 So instead, I accepted an offer 172 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:40,628 from an enterprise known as A Big Hot Pretzel. 173 00:10:41,796 --> 00:10:44,799 Well, the important thing is you still get to work with kids. 174 00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:49,471 - Congratulations, I'm proud of you. - Thank you. 175 00:10:49,637 --> 00:10:52,265 Pay's not great, but they agreed to let me work evenings. 176 00:10:52,432 --> 00:10:56,102 That way, you and I can have our days together. 177 00:10:56,269 --> 00:10:58,772 I'd love to, Dad, but you know I work during the day. 178 00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:01,149 Come on, darling, you're gonna have to be flexible 179 00:11:01,316 --> 00:11:03,485 if we're gonna make this work. 180 00:11:04,069 --> 00:11:07,447 Okay, well, I guess my only other option is to quit my job. 181 00:11:07,656 --> 00:11:09,115 - That's my girl. - Okay. 182 00:11:10,116 --> 00:11:12,243 Sewing kit, here we go. 183 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,537 Gotta let the crotch out on these trousers. 184 00:11:14,704 --> 00:11:18,083 After all, I'm selling pretzels, not myself. 185 00:11:23,713 --> 00:11:25,548 What's up? 186 00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:38,353 Hey, babe. Kiss? 187 00:11:39,896 --> 00:11:44,234 You wanna know where I was? I was out cruising. 188 00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:46,820 Good for you, sweetie. 189 00:11:48,363 --> 00:11:50,198 I was on my motorcycle. 190 00:11:50,407 --> 00:11:52,993 I know, I know. I'm fine with that. 191 00:11:53,201 --> 00:11:54,452 - You are? - Yeah. 192 00:11:54,661 --> 00:11:57,205 You know, I had a good night's sleep, thought things through, 193 00:11:57,372 --> 00:12:01,042 and I figured, hey, you know what? If a motorcycle makes you happy, 194 00:12:01,209 --> 00:12:02,293 then I'm happy too. 195 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,920 Because you know what? 196 00:12:04,087 --> 00:12:08,842 Life's too short not to do the things that make you happy, right? 197 00:12:13,638 --> 00:12:15,390 Right. 198 00:12:16,057 --> 00:12:18,351 So you wanna split an egg roll? 199 00:12:18,518 --> 00:12:19,811 - Do you? - All right... 200 00:12:21,438 --> 00:12:23,398 What are you doing, here? 201 00:12:23,606 --> 00:12:26,359 What? Oh, this? I'm just doing what makes me happy. 202 00:12:26,526 --> 00:12:30,071 Oh, you know what? These are so smooth. 203 00:12:30,238 --> 00:12:33,158 We've come a long way, baby. 204 00:12:33,325 --> 00:12:35,493 So you're gonna get cancer to make a point? 205 00:12:35,702 --> 00:12:38,079 Sure. I'll be in an iron lung, you'll be in a wheelchair. 206 00:12:38,246 --> 00:12:42,542 You know what? Maybe we can chip in and share a helper monkey. 207 00:12:42,751 --> 00:12:45,587 You know what? It's not gonna work because you can smoke all you want. 208 00:12:45,754 --> 00:12:48,256 - I don't care. - Well, I'm glad you feel that way. 209 00:12:48,423 --> 00:12:50,175 I do. 210 00:12:50,383 --> 00:12:51,801 I do, I do, you know? 211 00:12:51,968 --> 00:12:53,136 I'm not gonna play games. 212 00:12:53,303 --> 00:12:55,513 I'm not going to that place you want me to go, here. 213 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,640 If you wanna ruin your lungs, then that's... 214 00:13:01,019 --> 00:13:04,147 All right. Put it out! I can't eat near that stink. 215 00:13:04,314 --> 00:13:08,943 Well, then go eat with your motorcycle, because I likes to smoke while I eat. 216 00:13:11,112 --> 00:13:13,490 Fine. You know what? I will. I will. You know what? I will. 217 00:13:13,657 --> 00:13:16,785 And you can smoke all you want because I'm keeping my motorcycle. 218 00:13:16,951 --> 00:13:19,496 Duck sauce. 219 00:14:29,566 --> 00:14:33,486 Oh, don't mind me. I'm just looking for something. 220 00:14:34,362 --> 00:14:36,698 Oh, thank God. 221 00:14:37,449 --> 00:14:39,117 You know, if you lose one of these things, 222 00:14:39,284 --> 00:14:41,536 it comes right out of your pay cheque. 223 00:14:41,745 --> 00:14:44,789 I already owe them for that stupid soda machine. 224 00:14:46,416 --> 00:14:51,463 So you still enjoying the chopper? 225 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,342 Oh, yeah. It's great. 226 00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:58,428 Don't let Carrie get you down. 227 00:14:58,595 --> 00:15:02,640 You know, when I had my motorcycle, her mother was the same way. 228 00:15:02,807 --> 00:15:06,436 - You had a bike? - Sure. Loved it too. 229 00:15:06,603 --> 00:15:10,273 The great open road, the rumble of your machine, 230 00:15:10,815 --> 00:15:13,777 the camaraderie of your gang brothers. 231 00:15:16,029 --> 00:15:18,698 - You were in a gang? - Not really. 232 00:15:18,865 --> 00:15:21,576 I asked them to let me in, but they drank heavily all weekend 233 00:15:21,743 --> 00:15:24,537 and beat me pretty severely. 234 00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:29,793 Okay. 235 00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,504 And I think I may have been compromised 236 00:15:32,671 --> 00:15:36,758 by a gentleman named Road Dog. 237 00:15:56,987 --> 00:15:59,990 I hate you! 238 00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:05,120 - Carrie! - Up here. 239 00:16:10,542 --> 00:16:11,584 Hey. 240 00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:14,671 Wanna have sex? 241 00:16:15,588 --> 00:16:17,090 I'm getting rid of the bike. 242 00:16:17,298 --> 00:16:18,633 You are? 243 00:16:18,842 --> 00:16:23,304 - I'm selling it tomorrow. You happy? - Well, yeah. 244 00:16:23,471 --> 00:16:25,306 What happened? You get sick of it? 245 00:16:25,515 --> 00:16:28,226 No, sorry, I didn't get sick of it. 246 00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:31,104 - You got sick of it. - No. 247 00:16:31,313 --> 00:16:32,856 - Yes! - No. 248 00:16:33,023 --> 00:16:34,774 Let me tell you something, I love that bike. 249 00:16:34,941 --> 00:16:38,445 I'm a free spirit on that bike. Me and that bike are like this, okay? 250 00:16:39,029 --> 00:16:40,447 Then why are you getting rid of it? 251 00:16:42,449 --> 00:16:44,451 "Why," you ask me? 252 00:16:44,659 --> 00:16:48,663 Because it just so happens that I love this... more. 253 00:16:49,706 --> 00:16:52,542 This is why I'm getting rid of the bike and no other reason. 254 00:16:52,709 --> 00:16:55,337 And you know what? If you can't understand that, 255 00:16:55,503 --> 00:17:00,008 then how sad your world must be. 256 00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:09,476 Oh, there she is. 257 00:17:09,642 --> 00:17:12,979 The harpy who made her husband sell his motorcycle. 258 00:17:13,188 --> 00:17:14,814 - Dad, please. - Please, nothing. 259 00:17:14,981 --> 00:17:17,233 I know why you did this. But let me tell you one thing. 260 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,278 Motorcycle or no motorcycle, I'll find a way to get to work! 261 00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:22,405 - Dad. - I'll take the bus if I have to. 262 00:17:22,572 --> 00:17:24,991 Sure, the bus can't pick me up at my front door 263 00:17:25,158 --> 00:17:28,495 or make my tushy feel good with its rhythmic vibrations, but... 264 00:17:28,703 --> 00:17:30,872 Dad! Wait, would you just listen to me, please? 265 00:17:31,039 --> 00:17:32,916 I'm glad you got a job. 266 00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:37,170 I made Doug get rid of the motorcycle because they're way too dangerous. 267 00:17:38,463 --> 00:17:42,425 Well, you know what's more dangerous? 268 00:17:42,842 --> 00:17:44,177 What? 269 00:17:44,636 --> 00:17:48,556 Having somebody resent you for making them give up their dream. 270 00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:52,769 And you know what's even more dangerous? 271 00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:56,356 Leaving a pair of boxer shorts drying on a space heater. 272 00:17:56,523 --> 00:17:59,359 So if you'll excuse me... 273 00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:17,002 I sold you. 274 00:18:18,628 --> 00:18:20,505 Oh, shoot, you're home already. 275 00:18:20,672 --> 00:18:23,258 I didn't get a chance to put the bow on it yet. 276 00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:27,387 - Well, here. - What have you done? 277 00:18:28,346 --> 00:18:30,181 I felt really guilty about making you sell it 278 00:18:30,348 --> 00:18:32,767 and I didn't want you to hate me for the rest of your life, 279 00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:35,270 so I bought it back. 280 00:18:35,437 --> 00:18:38,898 You bought it back. That's... You bought it back. 281 00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:41,943 So, what's the deal, I don't get a hug for this? 282 00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:45,155 Oh, you got it. Okay, okay, yeah. 283 00:18:46,281 --> 00:18:51,119 Now, no riding at night and no riding on the expressway, 284 00:18:51,286 --> 00:18:52,454 and no riding in bad weather. 285 00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:54,122 - You got it? - Yeah, yeah. 286 00:18:54,289 --> 00:18:56,583 Oh, wait, I have another surprise for you. 287 00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,501 They just keep coming, don't they? 288 00:19:01,629 --> 00:19:04,382 Now we can go riding together. 289 00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:06,551 Look at me. 290 00:19:07,135 --> 00:19:09,471 I'm Pinky Tuscadero. 291 00:19:10,388 --> 00:19:14,059 Come on, let's take her for a spin. Let's bust some heads, baby! 292 00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:16,353 Okay. 293 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:21,733 - Come on! - Okay! Yeah, okay. 294 00:19:28,907 --> 00:19:33,912 Honey, don't you need to, like, start it or something? 295 00:19:37,415 --> 00:19:40,960 Funny story. Hey, get ready to laugh. 296 00:19:41,127 --> 00:19:43,421 Turns out, I hate the bike. 297 00:19:44,547 --> 00:19:47,008 - What? - I hate it. Hey, let's go buy you a gift. 298 00:19:47,175 --> 00:19:49,469 - Come on. - Doug! 299 00:19:49,678 --> 00:19:52,472 What do you mean you hate the bike? I thought you loved this thing. 300 00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:54,391 I don't love it, okay? 301 00:19:54,557 --> 00:19:57,060 I mean, I get rained on, people laugh at me, 302 00:19:57,227 --> 00:19:58,561 and at night, no one can see you. 303 00:19:58,728 --> 00:20:02,315 At night, you're gonna die. You might as well just face it, you're gonna die. 304 00:20:02,482 --> 00:20:05,819 Well, then, what was that load of crap you gave me about how you loved it 305 00:20:05,986 --> 00:20:08,780 but you loved this... more? 306 00:20:08,989 --> 00:20:12,325 I was embarrassed. I was trying to get out of this with a shred of manhood. 307 00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:14,703 And you thought you'd do that by making me feel guilty 308 00:20:14,869 --> 00:20:16,162 for the rest of my life? 309 00:20:16,371 --> 00:20:18,957 It felt right at the time, yeah. 310 00:20:19,165 --> 00:20:23,294 - What is wrong with you? - I fell there! 311 00:20:24,254 --> 00:20:26,089 - Look, it was your fault too. - My fault. 312 00:20:26,297 --> 00:20:29,467 Yeah, that buzzer noise is so insulting, you know? 313 00:20:29,634 --> 00:20:31,886 I don't like it when you do it in front of my friends. 314 00:20:32,971 --> 00:20:35,640 And I really don't like it when you do it during sex. 315 00:20:36,474 --> 00:20:38,810 Anybody would've buzzed you on that one. 316 00:20:39,019 --> 00:20:41,855 Hello? It was dark. I was disoriented. 317 00:20:42,731 --> 00:20:48,486 Okay, I'm sorry I buzzed you about getting the motorcycle. 318 00:20:48,653 --> 00:20:50,947 I just did it because I love you. 319 00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:55,076 I know. I love you too. Come here. 320 00:20:56,953 --> 00:21:01,541 All right, well, let's see where we're at with this thing. 321 00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:05,670 We got a bike that we don't want, that we bought twice, 322 00:21:05,837 --> 00:21:08,131 and I'm addicted to smoking. 323 00:21:08,798 --> 00:21:11,509 Yeah, but we still got this... right? 324 00:21:12,052 --> 00:21:14,137 Oh, yeah, we still have this: 325 00:21:14,346 --> 00:21:17,599 Okay, I guess I'll just call Dirk tomorrow 326 00:21:17,766 --> 00:21:19,768 and see if I can get my 800 bucks back. 327 00:21:19,934 --> 00:21:22,479 Eight? You got the bike for 8? 328 00:21:22,646 --> 00:21:26,441 Yeah. He wanted 1200. Can you believe that? 329 00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:28,985 That's ridiculous. 330 00:21:34,141 --> 00:21:36,893 - Hey, honey. - Hey. How you feeling? 331 00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:40,522 Great. This nicotine patch really works. 332 00:21:40,689 --> 00:21:44,234 It's like, "Cigarette? No, thanks." 333 00:21:44,401 --> 00:21:47,029 Good. I'm glad you feel that way. 334 00:21:47,571 --> 00:21:49,323 You know what, we're getting low on shampoo. 335 00:21:49,489 --> 00:21:52,451 - Can you pick up some later? - You got it. 336 00:21:52,618 --> 00:21:56,788 And don't forget, we're having dinner with Deacon and Kelly on Thursday.