1 00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:34,266 What are you doin'? 2 00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,201 I'm sittin' over here today. 3 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:37,302 Why? 4 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,770 I don't know. I never sit here. 5 00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,672 It's a new perspective. 6 00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:43,375 Whatever. 7 00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:03,228 Ok, enough. Could you just come sit over here? 8 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,930 I want to stay here. I like it. 9 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,269 I got a new seat. 10 00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:14,739 Ok, fine. 11 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,249 Ah, this is nice. 12 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,321 You can be so petty sometimes. 13 00:01:46,108 --> 00:01:49,543 Oh, my God, could it be any hotter? 14 00:01:49,611 --> 00:01:52,313 Brutal. Come here, this helps a little, come here. 15 00:01:59,221 --> 00:02:00,687 So, how was your day? 16 00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:02,356 It was good. How was yours? 17 00:02:02,424 --> 00:02:04,358 It was good. 18 00:02:04,426 --> 00:02:07,094 Ooh, "zesty Parmesan." When did you get that? 19 00:02:07,162 --> 00:02:08,762 Last time I went shopping. 20 00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,564 I also got those vegetable potstickers. 21 00:02:10,632 --> 00:02:12,199 Do you like those? 22 00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:13,800 Mmm, not so much. 23 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,538 Ok, I think I'm getting freezer burn. 24 00:02:20,108 --> 00:02:22,276 Honey, tell me, 25 00:02:22,344 --> 00:02:24,811 do I have the word "pushover" on my forehead? 26 00:02:26,248 --> 00:02:29,983 No. But you do have some kind of sauce. 27 00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:32,019 You're not gonna believe this. 28 00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,455 This afternoon, I was at that cute little spot 29 00:02:34,523 --> 00:02:37,024 where I like to throw bread crumbs to the birds. 30 00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:37,991 Petland? 31 00:02:38,059 --> 00:02:39,126 Right. 32 00:02:39,194 --> 00:02:41,228 So, right next door at the thrift shop, 33 00:02:41,296 --> 00:02:43,130 I saw this beautiful armoire 34 00:02:43,198 --> 00:02:44,698 which would be perfect for my room, 35 00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:45,799 so I bought it. 36 00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:47,968 Oh, good. Maybe now you can unroll your suits 37 00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,102 and hang 'em up. 38 00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:50,171 Not so fast. 39 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,473 This is where the story takes an ugly turn. 40 00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:54,275 After we agreed on the price, 41 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,177 he drops a delivery charge on me. 42 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:59,547 15 bananas! That's a lot of clams. 43 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,549 Dad, that's nothing. Just pay it. 44 00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,584 Oh, I'm not gonna do that. 45 00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,352 The deal was made and he reneged! 46 00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:06,587 I mean, what am I? 47 00:03:06,655 --> 00:03:09,089 A sap, a sucker, a butter-and-egg man? 48 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,826 Douglas, what are the chances I could borrow 49 00:03:12,894 --> 00:03:14,461 your delivery truck tomorrow, huh? 50 00:03:14,529 --> 00:03:17,398 Mmm, I'm thinking somewhere in the zero range. 51 00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:19,966 Uh-huh. Wednesday, then? 52 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,802 Arthur, let me explain something to you. 53 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,170 The truck doesn't belong to me, 54 00:03:23,238 --> 00:03:25,372 it belongs to the international parcel service. 55 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,675 That's why you couldn't borrow it for your paper route, 56 00:03:27,742 --> 00:03:29,677 and that's why you can't borrow it for this. 57 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,645 Dad, look, here's $15. 58 00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:34,181 Just have them deliver it. Please. 59 00:03:34,249 --> 00:03:36,383 Oh, that would be easy, wouldn't it? 60 00:03:36,451 --> 00:03:39,286 Yes. Easy. Easy is good. 61 00:03:39,354 --> 00:03:41,888 Sorry, sweetheart, but if I took your money 62 00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:44,758 I would never be able to face the man in the mirror. 63 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,530 The scary thing is, 64 00:03:49,598 --> 00:03:51,699 he's not talking about himself. 65 00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:22,829 Give us a break, will you? 66 00:04:22,897 --> 00:04:25,332 We only got one good hip between us! 67 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:28,935 Lift with your legs. 68 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,639 Oh, don't tell me how to lift. 69 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,788 Well, it seems as though fate took a hand, huh? 70 00:04:48,623 --> 00:04:49,856 Yeah. 71 00:04:49,924 --> 00:04:51,592 It would've been simpler if you agreed 72 00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:53,294 to move my armoire in the first place, 73 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,829 but it's a good lesson for next time. 74 00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:57,798 Cookie? 75 00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,132 Don't mind if I do. 76 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,535 Mickey, I told you to stop opening packages. 77 00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:04,772 Oh, did ya? This hearing aid is crap. 78 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:08,442 I heard "stop making sausages." 79 00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:10,177 And why would I say that? 80 00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:13,280 Heffernan! 81 00:05:13,348 --> 00:05:14,615 What the hell is going on? 82 00:05:14,683 --> 00:05:16,116 I'm getting calls left and right 83 00:05:16,184 --> 00:05:17,984 from customers waiting for drop-offs. 84 00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,820 What's that? That Howard stern fella? 85 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,523 It's Howard stern. He's talking directly to me. 86 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,291 I'm sorry supervisor O'Boyle, 87 00:05:24,359 --> 00:05:26,560 see, I got caught up in a little unexpected delay. 88 00:05:26,628 --> 00:05:27,661 Delay? 89 00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:29,129 Yeah, the thing is I... I... 90 00:05:29,197 --> 00:05:31,332 I... I... I... I don't give a flying crap. 91 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:32,966 Just unplug your head from your butt 92 00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:34,267 and get the route done. 93 00:05:34,336 --> 00:05:36,470 Absolutely, sir. I'm gonna be... Arthur! 94 00:05:36,538 --> 00:05:38,405 How dare you talk to that man like that. 95 00:05:38,473 --> 00:05:39,406 Arthur. 96 00:05:39,474 --> 00:05:40,741 Who is this? 97 00:05:40,809 --> 00:05:43,009 This is your worst nightmare, friend. 98 00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:45,011 I was in the U.S. army, 33rd brigade, 99 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,780 and I'm telling you to step off. 100 00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:47,848 Yeah? 101 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,983 Well, I was in the 42nd brigade. 102 00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:51,785 42nd, huh? 103 00:05:51,853 --> 00:05:53,086 Pretty tough bunch. 104 00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,287 You're on your own here. 105 00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:56,423 Oh, what a wuss. 106 00:05:56,491 --> 00:05:58,091 Shut up, old man. 107 00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:06,967 Oh, you are home. 108 00:06:07,035 --> 00:06:08,115 What are you doing in here? 109 00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:09,570 I... I can't go in that house. 110 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,248 If I... if I'm in the same building with him, 111 00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:12,806 I'll... I'll do something. 112 00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:15,141 Something unholy involving him and that armoire. 113 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,309 Doug, just relax. 114 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:17,911 What happened with your boss today? 115 00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:19,913 He reamed me out in front of the entire office! 116 00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:21,014 And then he assigned me 117 00:06:21,082 --> 00:06:22,716 to package-sorting duty for a week. 118 00:06:22,784 --> 00:06:25,024 Package sorting. He might as well have thrown a wig on me 119 00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,352 and called me Sally. 120 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,165 All right, Doug, listen, I will go downstairs, 121 00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:30,500 and I will talk to my dad. I'll just tell him he's gotta... 122 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,492 Gotta what? What? What? Stop being a lunatic? 123 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,160 I will start there, yes. 124 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:37,097 Listen, honey, I'm gonna ask you a question here, 125 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,800 and I don't want you to take this the wrong way. 126 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,669 Does anyone else know he's here? 127 00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:45,338 Stop. Come on, it just seems worse than it is 128 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,574 because it's, like, 100 degrees in here 129 00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:50,176 and you've been breathing in a lot of paint thinner. 130 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,778 Now, let's just go inside 131 00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:55,115 and take a nice cool shower. 132 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,783 Mmm, keep talkin'. 133 00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:00,053 I'll let you videotape it. 134 00:07:00,121 --> 00:07:03,256 Oh, sorry, darling, I didn't realize you were... you were home. 135 00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:04,625 Hi, daddy. 136 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:07,094 Heard you and Doug had a little adventure today. 137 00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,562 Indeed we did. And on that note, Douglas, 138 00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:12,265 there's something that needs to be said. 139 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,468 I'm listening. 140 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,304 You put a nasty little Nick in my armoire. 141 00:07:20,074 --> 00:07:21,642 That's what needs to be said? 142 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,910 Ok, you know what? Why don't you come inside, dad? 143 00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:26,613 I'll make you a nice baked apple. Come on. 144 00:07:26,681 --> 00:07:27,981 I realize you were distracted 145 00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:30,250 by your boss' hurtful comments about your weight, 146 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,620 but you might be a little bit more careful in the future. 147 00:07:33,688 --> 00:07:36,890 Your customers may not be as forgiving as I am. 148 00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:39,926 Baked apple, right this way. 149 00:07:39,994 --> 00:07:41,662 Arthur, do... do you understand at all 150 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,196 that you almost got me canned? 151 00:07:43,264 --> 00:07:44,597 You know, it's bad enough 152 00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:46,099 that you trounce all over my home, 153 00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:47,734 do you have to trounce on my job, too? 154 00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,402 That's too much trouncing. 155 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:52,172 Oh, you think this living arrangement is easy for me? 156 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,407 You think I like walking around here on eggshells? 157 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,343 Eggshells? Is that what we've been getting here for the past few... 158 00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:58,679 Eggshells? You on eggshells? 159 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,982 Well, thank you for holding back! 160 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:04,551 All right, enough. The both of you. 161 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,186 Now, let's all just go inside, 162 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,988 I will make you a baked apple, 163 00:08:08,056 --> 00:08:09,322 I will take a shower... 164 00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:12,693 Reverse that. Let's just all go inside. 165 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,862 Douglas, obviously my living here is very unpleasant for you. 166 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,864 Perhaps I should make some other arrangements. 167 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:18,965 Dad, stop it. 168 00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:20,600 No, no, no, no. I'm interested. Go on. 169 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,936 Where would you go? Where would you go? Come on, come on. 170 00:08:23,004 --> 00:08:24,537 Where would you go? I have options. 171 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,006 Options? Oh, so there are several 172 00:08:26,074 --> 00:08:28,141 mental institutions wooing you? 173 00:08:28,209 --> 00:08:31,377 So, I'm just a crazy old man who can't hack it on my own, 174 00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:33,146 is that what you think? 175 00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:34,748 Yes. 176 00:08:34,816 --> 00:08:37,350 That's not stopping. 177 00:08:37,418 --> 00:08:39,352 Well, let me tell you something, Douglas. 178 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,855 I've been on my own since I was 17. 179 00:08:41,923 --> 00:08:43,623 I could take care of myself then, 180 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,026 and I can take care of myself now. 181 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,562 Where'd that door go? 182 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,831 It's over here, dad. 183 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,433 Fine. I'm gonna get my things. 184 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,901 I'll be staying at Mickey's 185 00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,804 until I can find a more permanent situation! 186 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,673 Oh, my God! 187 00:09:00,742 --> 00:09:02,109 God! 188 00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:04,945 Doug, was that really necessary? 189 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,412 What are you talkin' about? 190 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,115 Why did you have to provoke him? 191 00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:09,983 Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm the bad guy here, huh? 192 00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:11,351 He gets to do whatever he wants. 193 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,853 I say one little comment 194 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,664 about how he should be in a mental institution, 195 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,589 and I'm the big provoker. 196 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,792 Yes. 197 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:20,771 Doug, come on, you know him, you know the way he is. 198 00:09:20,795 --> 00:09:23,296 He's like a 75-year-old 2-year-old. 199 00:09:23,364 --> 00:09:25,698 You can't let him pull you in. 200 00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,400 You just gotta nod and smile 201 00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:29,435 and hang his drawings up on the refrigerator. 202 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,171 Have you seen his drawings, by the way? 203 00:09:31,239 --> 00:09:32,973 Scary stuff. 204 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,075 Come on, sweetie, could you just go downstairs 205 00:09:35,143 --> 00:09:36,276 and say you're sorry? 206 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,410 No. Doug. 207 00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,246 Carrie, no, I'm tired of it, all right? 208 00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:41,481 That basement was my T.V. Room, my fort, you know? 209 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,084 And I gave it up to him 'cause he didn't have a place to live. 210 00:09:44,152 --> 00:09:45,551 And if he can't appreciate that, 211 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,287 well, you know what? Let him move out. 212 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,756 Doug, what do you want me to say? 213 00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:50,991 That he's crazy? 214 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,659 That he makes you crazy? 215 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,828 That he's a strain on our marriage? 216 00:09:54,896 --> 00:09:56,596 I admit all of that. 217 00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,564 Now, go beg him to stay. 218 00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,903 All right, that's it. 219 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,305 I've taken only what I came here with 220 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,207 and some hand towels. 221 00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:10,343 A-Arthur? 222 00:10:10,411 --> 00:10:11,444 Yes? 223 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,280 Look, 224 00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:15,615 I'm sorry. 225 00:10:16,851 --> 00:10:19,119 I like having you here, 226 00:10:19,187 --> 00:10:21,788 and we want you to stay. 227 00:10:21,856 --> 00:10:24,191 Oh, I see Dr. Jekyll has returned. 228 00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,326 Frankly, Douglas, 229 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,929 your mood swings are frightening. 230 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,732 Case in point. Goodbye. 231 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,636 I'll send for my armoire! 232 00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:47,049 That's nice. 233 00:10:47,116 --> 00:10:48,316 Sweet. 234 00:10:48,384 --> 00:10:50,318 Comin' back to papa. 235 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,389 Oh, yeah, feels good. 236 00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,259 Sassy. 237 00:10:58,161 --> 00:10:59,827 Bring it, baby. 238 00:10:59,895 --> 00:11:02,464 Uh, guys, why is the fan stopping short of me? 239 00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,634 'Cause we angled it that way. 240 00:11:06,702 --> 00:11:08,537 That's... that's not fair. 241 00:11:08,604 --> 00:11:10,672 Hey, there's only enough oscillation for 3 guys. 242 00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:12,040 Just have another Popsicle. 243 00:11:12,108 --> 00:11:13,708 I've had 6. 244 00:11:13,776 --> 00:11:16,211 You know, y'all keep treating me this way, 245 00:11:16,279 --> 00:11:18,613 I could very well leave the group. 246 00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:23,618 I'm not kidding. There are some guys at work 247 00:11:23,686 --> 00:11:26,154 that have shown some serious interest in me. 248 00:11:28,324 --> 00:11:30,725 I'm gonna let that sink in... 249 00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:33,495 While I get another Popsicle. 250 00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:39,067 Hello? 251 00:11:39,135 --> 00:11:41,035 Oh, hi, Arthur. 252 00:11:41,104 --> 00:11:43,105 No, Carrie's not here. 253 00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:45,107 It's just me and the guys. 254 00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:48,143 Fine. Hold on. 255 00:11:48,211 --> 00:11:49,644 He says he wants to talk to anyone 256 00:11:49,712 --> 00:11:52,247 whose name doesn't rhyme with "uglas." 257 00:11:53,483 --> 00:11:54,882 I'll take it. 258 00:11:56,352 --> 00:11:57,452 Hello? 259 00:11:58,721 --> 00:11:59,787 Hang on. 260 00:11:59,855 --> 00:12:02,324 He wants me to ask you how you're doing. 261 00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:04,426 I'm fine. 262 00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:05,760 He's fine. 263 00:12:07,463 --> 00:12:09,864 He says, "I don't care. Ha, ha, ha." 264 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,435 Is that it? 265 00:12:13,503 --> 00:12:14,836 Oh, yeah? 266 00:12:14,903 --> 00:12:16,605 Oh, good for you. 267 00:12:16,672 --> 00:12:18,140 Yeah, sure. 268 00:12:18,207 --> 00:12:19,674 All right, take it easy. 269 00:12:19,742 --> 00:12:20,842 What? 270 00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:23,178 He moved into his own apartment yesterday. 271 00:12:23,246 --> 00:12:24,379 Are you kidding me? No. 272 00:12:24,447 --> 00:12:26,248 He's having a housewarming party tomorrow 273 00:12:26,315 --> 00:12:28,683 and Carrie's invited, plus a guest. 274 00:12:30,653 --> 00:12:33,288 I c-can't believe it. He's actually doing this. 275 00:12:33,356 --> 00:12:35,524 We figured he'd be back here in a couple days, 276 00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:36,824 but he actually moved out. 277 00:12:36,892 --> 00:12:37,892 He's really gone. 278 00:12:37,926 --> 00:12:41,463 Oh, I owe you one, big guy. 279 00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:43,498 All right, careful. Careful... 280 00:12:43,566 --> 00:12:45,099 My finger's getting crushed. 281 00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:46,701 Hey. It's just a finger, ok? 282 00:12:46,769 --> 00:12:48,403 This is an entire entertainment system, 283 00:12:48,471 --> 00:12:50,438 so suck it up. 284 00:12:50,506 --> 00:12:51,906 Can we get some room over here? 285 00:12:51,974 --> 00:12:53,408 You're not even holding any of it. 286 00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:54,909 I'm guiding it. 287 00:12:54,977 --> 00:12:57,045 Hey. You ladies wanna settle that, huh? 288 00:12:57,112 --> 00:12:58,547 Spence's nose is starting to bleed. 289 00:12:58,614 --> 00:12:59,847 Thank you. 290 00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:02,284 Doug? 291 00:13:02,351 --> 00:13:03,351 Hi, honey. Hi, Carr'. 292 00:13:03,419 --> 00:13:04,419 My finger. 293 00:13:05,254 --> 00:13:06,521 What's going on? 294 00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:08,323 Why are you moving the T.V. Back downstairs? 295 00:13:08,391 --> 00:13:10,692 Oh, get ready for some great news. 296 00:13:10,759 --> 00:13:12,227 Your dad found his own apartment. 297 00:13:12,295 --> 00:13:13,328 What? 298 00:13:13,396 --> 00:13:15,063 Yeah, he called about a half hour ago. 299 00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,265 Boy, the old fella sure showed us a thing or 2, huh? 300 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,033 Ok, next 2 steps, let's go. 301 00:13:19,101 --> 00:13:20,535 Wait a minute. What? 302 00:13:20,603 --> 00:13:23,004 I don't know what stupid thing my father's up to, 303 00:13:23,072 --> 00:13:24,673 but he can't live on his own! 304 00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:25,940 You said that yourself! 305 00:13:26,008 --> 00:13:28,443 Yeah, but I was wrong. Give the guy some credit. 306 00:13:28,511 --> 00:13:30,712 Ok, this is wreaking havoc 307 00:13:30,779 --> 00:13:33,248 with my one descended testicle here. 308 00:13:35,951 --> 00:13:38,152 God, he's probably sitting in a tiny room 309 00:13:38,221 --> 00:13:40,722 all by himself, with roaches, 310 00:13:40,789 --> 00:13:42,457 cooking on a hot plate, 311 00:13:42,525 --> 00:13:44,359 listening to his crappy little radio... 312 00:13:44,427 --> 00:13:46,894 Hey, it's a nice radio, hon'. 313 00:13:46,962 --> 00:13:48,863 How could I even let him leave? 314 00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:50,365 I'm his daughter. 315 00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:52,467 I'm supposed to be taking care of him. 316 00:13:52,535 --> 00:13:54,736 C-come on, honey, he's gonna be fine. 317 00:13:54,803 --> 00:13:56,137 I love you. 318 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,675 What are we doing here? Up or down? 319 00:14:00,743 --> 00:14:02,076 I don't know. 320 00:14:02,144 --> 00:14:04,879 Deke, go see what she's doing in the kitchen, huh? 321 00:14:09,985 --> 00:14:11,419 How you doing? 322 00:14:13,956 --> 00:14:15,189 She's sitting at the table. 323 00:14:15,258 --> 00:14:16,625 And? 324 00:14:16,692 --> 00:14:18,426 Crying. But not hard. 325 00:14:20,429 --> 00:14:22,029 Back up, back up. 326 00:14:26,235 --> 00:14:27,602 Honey, it's a housewarming. 327 00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:29,371 I still say we should've brought something. 328 00:14:29,438 --> 00:14:31,939 If not a plant, at least a pie. 329 00:14:32,007 --> 00:14:34,542 Doug, we are not going for a housewarming. 330 00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:37,078 We are going there to tell him, without fighting, 331 00:14:37,146 --> 00:14:38,346 that he can't live like this 332 00:14:38,414 --> 00:14:39,947 and he has to come home. 333 00:14:40,015 --> 00:14:41,750 Fine. 334 00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:44,085 I can't see how a pie would hurt. 335 00:14:46,355 --> 00:14:47,555 Welcome! 336 00:14:49,925 --> 00:14:51,393 Hey, Arthur. 337 00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:54,829 So, darling, what do you think? 338 00:14:56,231 --> 00:14:58,333 Dad, I... I want you to come home. 339 00:14:58,401 --> 00:15:00,602 You can't live like this. 340 00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:04,539 Honey, come on, there's an omelet bar. 341 00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:09,444 I gotta tell you, 342 00:15:09,512 --> 00:15:13,147 the man throws a great party. 343 00:15:13,215 --> 00:15:16,484 I had no idea he could play the piano like that. 344 00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:21,055 Come on, honey, cheer up. This is a great situation for him. 345 00:15:21,123 --> 00:15:22,256 He was living in a basement, 346 00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:23,325 now he's got a 347 00:15:23,359 --> 00:15:25,092 deluxe apartment in the. 348 00:15:27,863 --> 00:15:30,398 I don't understand why you're not happy for him. 349 00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:33,768 I am. I just... I feel guilty. 350 00:15:33,836 --> 00:15:35,370 About what? 351 00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:37,271 Well, he was with us for a year, 352 00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:40,442 and I had a real chance to get closer to him and I didn't. 353 00:15:40,509 --> 00:15:41,643 I just blew him off. 354 00:15:41,711 --> 00:15:42,644 No. 355 00:15:42,712 --> 00:15:45,046 Doug, there are some days 356 00:15:45,113 --> 00:15:48,249 that all I said to him was, "good morning." 357 00:15:48,317 --> 00:15:49,784 And not even a full "good morning." 358 00:15:49,852 --> 00:15:51,853 It was more like a "g'morning." 359 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,322 I couldn't even give him the "ood." 360 00:15:57,693 --> 00:15:59,594 Do you know that there was one day last week 361 00:15:59,662 --> 00:16:02,129 that I actually hid from him? 362 00:16:02,197 --> 00:16:03,732 Hey, who hasn't? 363 00:16:05,934 --> 00:16:07,435 Now, come on, this is good, right? 364 00:16:07,503 --> 00:16:09,270 I mean, we got our life back. 365 00:16:09,338 --> 00:16:10,638 Oh, I know. 366 00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:12,741 It's good, I guess. 367 00:16:12,808 --> 00:16:14,876 Hey, I know what'll put a smile on your face. 368 00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:17,379 How about I go splash those people at that bus stop. 369 00:16:19,548 --> 00:16:22,384 Well, if you're gonna do it, you're gonna have to speed up. 370 00:16:26,255 --> 00:16:27,889 All I'm saying is 371 00:16:27,956 --> 00:16:30,592 in Europe, women's breasts are no big deal. 372 00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,894 They lie topless on the beach all day, 373 00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:34,896 and men don't even care. 374 00:16:34,963 --> 00:16:37,665 You ever stop to think that European guys just pretend not to care 375 00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:40,268 so the women will take their tops off? 376 00:16:40,335 --> 00:16:41,269 Yeah. 377 00:16:41,336 --> 00:16:42,804 This way they get to sip coffee 378 00:16:42,872 --> 00:16:45,239 and stare at boobies all day long. 379 00:16:45,841 --> 00:16:47,776 Boobies? 380 00:16:47,843 --> 00:16:50,311 That's interesting. You think that would work on women here? 381 00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:51,713 Nah, it would take too many years 382 00:16:51,781 --> 00:16:54,148 to fool women into thinking that we don't care. 383 00:16:54,216 --> 00:16:57,051 Although, it would be something nice to do for future generations. 384 00:16:57,119 --> 00:16:58,319 Yeah. 385 00:16:58,387 --> 00:17:01,423 I'd like my son to grow up in that kind of world. 386 00:17:02,525 --> 00:17:03,792 Well, I'm out of here. 387 00:17:03,859 --> 00:17:05,293 I gotta go back to the firehouse. 388 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,994 Yeah, I gotta roll, too. 389 00:17:07,062 --> 00:17:08,797 Oh, uh, one of you give me a ride? 390 00:17:08,864 --> 00:17:11,766 Yeah, sure, you can hop in the trunk. 391 00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,234 Remember Friday night, 392 00:17:13,302 --> 00:17:15,202 uh, mets-braves, right here, ok? 393 00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,872 Oh, hey, and we're breaking in the George foreman healthy grill, 394 00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:19,340 so bring your chopped meat. 395 00:17:30,285 --> 00:17:31,653 Douglas? 396 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,321 Hey, Arthur. What brings you by? 397 00:17:33,388 --> 00:17:34,823 Uh, in my haste to pack, 398 00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:37,425 I inadvertently took a 3-pronged adapter. 399 00:17:37,493 --> 00:17:39,193 I believe this is yours. 400 00:17:39,261 --> 00:17:41,162 We were worried. Thank you. 401 00:17:41,229 --> 00:17:42,430 Hey, can I get you a beer? 402 00:17:42,498 --> 00:17:45,066 Sure. That's what the air bags are for. 403 00:17:48,704 --> 00:17:51,339 By the way, I'm glad you could make it over 404 00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:53,475 to my soiree the other night. 405 00:17:53,542 --> 00:17:55,777 Well, thanks for the invite. I had a great time. 406 00:17:55,845 --> 00:17:58,312 Ah, you really knocked 'em dead with the charades. 407 00:17:58,380 --> 00:17:59,614 Of course, you, uh, lucked out 408 00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:02,617 with the "Jake and the fat man." 409 00:18:02,685 --> 00:18:04,185 Yeah, I really caught a break, huh? 410 00:18:04,252 --> 00:18:05,286 Yeah. 411 00:18:07,857 --> 00:18:08,890 Yeah. 412 00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:11,793 The old room. 413 00:18:11,861 --> 00:18:15,162 This really takes me back. 414 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:18,065 So, how are you and Carrie doing since I left? 415 00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:19,534 Great. We're doing fine. 416 00:18:19,602 --> 00:18:22,236 You sure? 'Cause sometimes someone moves out, 417 00:18:22,304 --> 00:18:23,705 and everything gets out of whack. 418 00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:27,008 Trust me, everything's in whack. 419 00:18:27,075 --> 00:18:28,209 Good. 420 00:18:28,276 --> 00:18:31,379 'Cause if my leaving caused any problems, 421 00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:32,847 I'd move right back in. 422 00:18:36,552 --> 00:18:38,820 Hey, you'd have to kill me first. 423 00:18:41,123 --> 00:18:42,857 Ah, no, seriously, Arthur, 424 00:18:42,925 --> 00:18:44,592 I'm, you know, I'm really happy for you. 425 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,860 You found your own apartment 426 00:18:45,928 --> 00:18:48,362 and, uh, I hope you enjoy it. 427 00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:50,598 Speaking of the apartment, 428 00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:54,168 any chance you could lend me $1,700 a month indefinitely? 429 00:18:56,038 --> 00:18:57,438 What? 430 00:18:57,506 --> 00:19:00,008 I may have over-leveraged myself a bit 431 00:19:00,075 --> 00:19:01,509 in getting that place. 432 00:19:01,577 --> 00:19:03,310 What are you saying? You can't afford it? 433 00:19:03,378 --> 00:19:06,347 Mmm, not at the present time, no. 434 00:19:06,415 --> 00:19:08,049 Although, I have an idea for something 435 00:19:08,116 --> 00:19:09,250 that could make millions, 436 00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:11,419 if a lot of left-handed people are willing 437 00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:13,855 to give me a weekend of their time. 438 00:19:15,591 --> 00:19:17,058 What is wrong with you? 439 00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:18,870 Why did you take a place that you can't pay for? 440 00:19:18,894 --> 00:19:21,629 I wanted to prove that you were wrong. That I could live on my own. 441 00:19:21,697 --> 00:19:23,130 But you couldn't. 442 00:19:23,198 --> 00:19:25,466 Only because I didn't have the money. 443 00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:26,701 Well, that's a big part 444 00:19:26,769 --> 00:19:28,736 of the "living on your own" package. 445 00:19:28,804 --> 00:19:30,371 Fair enough. 446 00:19:30,439 --> 00:19:31,673 Now that we agree on that, 447 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,575 let's talk about my moving back in. 448 00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,977 When will your truck be available? 449 00:19:41,249 --> 00:19:42,416 Douglas? 450 00:19:44,152 --> 00:19:46,353 So, you want to move back in, huh? 451 00:19:46,421 --> 00:19:48,522 That would be real convenient for you, wouldn't it? 452 00:19:48,591 --> 00:19:50,324 You leave for a few days, 453 00:19:50,392 --> 00:19:51,870 you bounce around the outside world for a while 454 00:19:51,894 --> 00:19:54,762 like that bird who's "cuckoo for cocoa puffs," 455 00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:57,331 and then you just waltz back in. 456 00:19:57,399 --> 00:19:59,000 Well, you know what, Arthur? 457 00:19:59,068 --> 00:20:00,768 Take my basement back. 458 00:20:00,836 --> 00:20:02,536 It's yours. You know what? Fine, take it. 459 00:20:02,605 --> 00:20:03,638 And while you're at it, 460 00:20:03,706 --> 00:20:05,239 why don't you take the T.V., too? 461 00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:07,274 And... and the fussball table, 462 00:20:07,342 --> 00:20:08,943 and, uh, hey, the couch. 463 00:20:09,011 --> 00:20:10,578 It yours. It's all yours. 464 00:20:10,646 --> 00:20:14,482 Hey, take my mustard-stained jets blanket, huh? 465 00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:16,951 Oh, and... and my baseball encyclopedia, 466 00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:20,254 oh, and my x-rated video with the label, 467 00:20:20,322 --> 00:20:22,189 "bad news bears go to Japan," 468 00:20:22,257 --> 00:20:24,726 so Carrie won't notice it. 469 00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:26,094 Take it all, Arthur! 470 00:20:26,161 --> 00:20:27,595 Hey, what else can I get for you? 471 00:20:27,663 --> 00:20:28,863 Hey, do you want the flooring? 472 00:20:28,931 --> 00:20:30,264 'Cause I could rip up the carpet. 473 00:20:30,332 --> 00:20:31,733 Come on, what else can I give you? 474 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,501 How 'bout my kidneys? Come on, I have 2. 475 00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:36,270 What the hell, take 'em both, Arthur! 476 00:20:36,338 --> 00:20:38,539 God, why should I have anything, right? 477 00:20:38,607 --> 00:20:40,508 All I do is go to work every day 478 00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:42,243 and pay my mortgage on time. 479 00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:43,577 And when it's not on time, 480 00:20:43,646 --> 00:20:46,380 it's certainly within the grace period! 481 00:20:48,651 --> 00:20:51,552 But I guess that means nothing. Nothing! 482 00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:52,860 And you know what? That's fine. 483 00:20:52,921 --> 00:20:55,189 I'll just be a guy going through life 484 00:20:55,257 --> 00:20:57,025 with no basement 485 00:20:57,092 --> 00:20:58,425 and no kidneys! 486 00:21:36,633 --> 00:21:39,102 Ok, keep doing it. You got it. You got it. 487 00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:40,703 All right, shimmy it up, will you? 488 00:21:40,771 --> 00:21:43,139 For God's sake, lift with your legs.