1 00:00:07,818 --> 00:00:09,443 - Morning, Dad. - Good morning. 2 00:00:09,654 --> 00:00:12,490 Guess what I made. Like old times, huh? 3 00:00:12,741 --> 00:00:14,284 You. Me. Toast. 4 00:00:14,535 --> 00:00:16,612 Yeah, we were inseparable. 5 00:00:16,872 --> 00:00:19,542 So, darling, you wait here, 6 00:00:19,751 --> 00:00:21,875 I'll go butter this up for you real nice. 7 00:00:22,087 --> 00:00:24,164 Give me 15 minutes. 8 00:00:25,217 --> 00:00:27,424 I'm sorry, Dad, I cannot be late for work. 9 00:00:27,637 --> 00:00:29,048 I'm new there, remember? 10 00:00:29,306 --> 00:00:34,100 Oh, Miss Big-Deal-Legal-Secretary, works in Manhattan now. 11 00:00:34,312 --> 00:00:36,983 You know what toast costs over there now? Ten dollars. 12 00:00:38,026 --> 00:00:40,268 And if you don't tip, they spit in it. 13 00:00:41,364 --> 00:00:42,479 Then I'll tip. 14 00:00:42,699 --> 00:00:44,491 I'm just gonna have some coffee. 15 00:00:44,743 --> 00:00:46,618 - Hey, slugger, check it out. - What's that? 16 00:00:46,871 --> 00:00:49,410 It's your new mitt. I broke it in for the softball game tonight. 17 00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,036 Actually, it happened by accident. 18 00:00:51,294 --> 00:00:54,130 I fell asleep on it. 19 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,632 Honey, you're gonna kill me, I can't make it. 20 00:00:56,843 --> 00:00:58,504 My boss has a really big trial coming up, 21 00:00:58,721 --> 00:01:00,299 and he wants me to stay late tonight. 22 00:01:00,556 --> 00:01:01,671 No, we need you at the game. 23 00:01:01,892 --> 00:01:04,348 Come on, none of the guys can curse as good as you. 24 00:01:04,562 --> 00:01:05,891 Honey, I know. 25 00:01:06,106 --> 00:01:09,440 But I will be at next week's game, with a lot of new mother references. 26 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,440 Really hurtful, uncalled-for stuff, all right? 27 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,025 - Okay. - All right. Bye. 28 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,367 Bye, Daddy. Dad? 29 00:01:17,788 --> 00:01:20,956 Oh, sorry. I was just remembering a little girl with pigtails 30 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,126 and braces on her teeth, telling me, 31 00:01:23,379 --> 00:01:24,660 "I made the bestest toast ever." 32 00:01:24,881 --> 00:01:27,800 All right, just give me the freaking toast. Okay? Thank you. Bye. 33 00:01:41,624 --> 00:01:43,083 Will you forget about it? It's over. 34 00:01:43,292 --> 00:01:45,582 Man, I thought if there was one team we'd beat this year, 35 00:01:45,796 --> 00:01:47,670 it'd be Crabtree & Evelyn. 36 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,461 Well, this guy didn't help matters much. 37 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,885 Hey, what-? What do you guys want from me? 38 00:01:53,139 --> 00:01:57,090 You know, I'm allergic to dirt, grass, bases and Gatorade. 39 00:01:57,312 --> 00:02:00,017 You guys are lucky I'm alive. 40 00:02:00,316 --> 00:02:02,605 Look, look, let's just all agree we all sucked tonight. 41 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:05,946 - Hey, I'm in. - Yeah, we'll kick some ass next week. 42 00:02:06,157 --> 00:02:07,700 Who we playing, Moose? 43 00:02:10,454 --> 00:02:12,329 - City Tech. - Who's that? 44 00:02:12,582 --> 00:02:13,662 Female security guards. 45 00:02:17,088 --> 00:02:18,287 Hey, Doug. 46 00:02:18,507 --> 00:02:21,213 Some guy in a really nice car just pulled into your driveway. 47 00:02:21,469 --> 00:02:23,842 - Yeah, it's called a U-turn. - No, I don't think so. 48 00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,513 - Your wife's getting out. - Really? 49 00:02:26,768 --> 00:02:29,094 Oh, that's a Jaguar she's stepping out of, my friend. 50 00:02:29,355 --> 00:02:31,183 XJ8. Top of the line. 51 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,808 Yeah, I test-drove one of those babies. 52 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,609 And yet, you went with the '82 Corolla. 53 00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:41,869 Hey, Doug, it's pretty damn nice of you, letting Carrie date other guys and all. 54 00:02:42,122 --> 00:02:43,997 Yeah, you're very funny. Very funny. 55 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:47,336 All right, come on, back to your assigned seats. Let's go. 56 00:02:49,508 --> 00:02:52,379 Girl in the clubhouse. You guys had your cootie shots? 57 00:02:52,637 --> 00:02:54,262 - Yeah, right. - Hi. How was the game? 58 00:02:54,473 --> 00:02:56,181 Oh, everyone sucked, not just me. 59 00:02:56,434 --> 00:02:57,430 Good for you, Spence. 60 00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,937 So did you have a good day? 61 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,935 Honey, great day. 62 00:03:03,151 --> 00:03:06,568 What, did you get some kind of, like, a lift home or something? 63 00:03:06,823 --> 00:03:09,279 Yeah, from Evan, my boss. In a Jaguar. 64 00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,451 Honey, you should get me one of those. 65 00:03:12,873 --> 00:03:14,533 I'll see you upstairs. Bye, guys. 66 00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:16,578 - See you later, Carrie. - All right. 67 00:03:22,511 --> 00:03:27,481 Well, sounds like she's got a nice boss, you know? 68 00:03:27,518 --> 00:03:31,219 That's a good thing, because a lot of bosses, not nice. 69 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,525 You know, a lot of not-nice bosses out there. 70 00:03:34,777 --> 00:03:37,982 I say given the choice between not nice, nice, it's always better- 71 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,281 Stop the staring! 72 00:03:47,002 --> 00:03:48,248 - Hey. - Hey, help me out. 73 00:03:48,463 --> 00:03:50,207 I have to be in court with Evan. What do you think? 74 00:03:50,465 --> 00:03:52,257 This or this? 75 00:03:52,635 --> 00:03:54,213 I like them both. 76 00:03:54,429 --> 00:03:56,387 They both suck. 77 00:03:57,391 --> 00:04:00,643 Honey, the women in Manhattan dress so nice, I look like I'm from Arkansas. 78 00:04:02,315 --> 00:04:03,940 Oh, guess what. 79 00:04:04,192 --> 00:04:07,728 There's this really famous cello player from China, Li Fong something. 80 00:04:07,989 --> 00:04:10,279 Anyway, he's throwing a big concert next week in the city, 81 00:04:10,493 --> 00:04:14,824 and the firm got all these tickets, and Evan gave his to me. 82 00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:17,491 So if you play your cards right, I'll let you go with me. 83 00:04:17,752 --> 00:04:19,876 There's always room for cello. 84 00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,383 You call him Evan, huh? 85 00:04:25,596 --> 00:04:28,135 Your boss. You just call him Evan? 86 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,549 Well, that's his name. 87 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,727 No, no, I know, I know. I mean... 88 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,306 It's just that, you know, my boss has been there six years, 89 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,100 and it's still "Supervisor O'Boyle." 90 00:04:39,282 --> 00:04:43,495 So you just walk around all day calling each other Evan. 91 00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:47,283 Well, he doesn't call me Evan. We'd get a little confused. 92 00:04:47,793 --> 00:04:49,537 I know, I know, I know. I just-You know. 93 00:04:49,754 --> 00:04:51,463 Anyway, sounds like a great guy, right? 94 00:04:51,674 --> 00:04:53,466 I mean, partner in a big New York law firm, 95 00:04:53,676 --> 00:04:55,753 giving his secretary free tickets, 96 00:04:55,971 --> 00:04:59,970 driving her all the way home to Queens in his fancy Jaguar. 97 00:05:00,227 --> 00:05:01,805 You don't see a lot of that. 98 00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:03,605 Honey, if he didn't drive me home, 99 00:05:03,815 --> 00:05:06,734 how else would we have sex in his car? 100 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:11,689 That's not funny. 101 00:05:13,119 --> 00:05:14,911 Come on, you're being stupid. 102 00:05:15,122 --> 00:05:17,080 He's just being a nice guy. 103 00:05:17,292 --> 00:05:19,748 Oh, so he's just being nice, then. 104 00:05:19,962 --> 00:05:22,419 Did he give the cleaning guy a ride home too? 105 00:05:23,592 --> 00:05:24,873 - No. - No. 106 00:05:25,094 --> 00:05:28,630 So, now, is he nice or not nice? I'm a little confused here. 107 00:05:29,475 --> 00:05:31,765 He lives on the Island, we're on his way. 108 00:05:31,978 --> 00:05:34,186 - What, you don't trust me? - Of course I trust you. 109 00:05:34,398 --> 00:05:38,611 It's just, you don't really know this Evan guy, or how he operates. 110 00:05:38,863 --> 00:05:40,239 "Oh, Miss Heffernan," 111 00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:43,367 can you work late with me tonight on this big legal case? 112 00:05:43,578 --> 00:05:46,248 I spilled Liquid Paper all over your blouse. 113 00:05:46,456 --> 00:05:51,286 "Why don't you shimmy it off, and I'll wash it." 114 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,636 That's a really lame fantasy. 115 00:05:56,846 --> 00:05:59,516 You gotta start watching more porno. 116 00:06:00,392 --> 00:06:02,220 - You know what I mean. - What? Come on, honey. 117 00:06:02,436 --> 00:06:04,229 He's just being a nice guy. 118 00:06:04,439 --> 00:06:07,110 Now, listen, I have a really great job, and it's going well. 119 00:06:07,318 --> 00:06:09,146 And I want you to be happy for me, all right? 120 00:06:10,197 --> 00:06:11,941 All right. All right. You know, I'm sorry. 121 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,359 It's okay. It's all right. 122 00:06:14,578 --> 00:06:17,948 I'm gonna go wash up. I'll meet you in bed, okay, Evan? 123 00:06:33,395 --> 00:06:34,973 Excuse me. 124 00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:41,690 Hey. Hi. I'm trying to find Carrie Heffernan. 125 00:06:41,949 --> 00:06:43,609 Oh, she's in Mr Lazar's office. 126 00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:45,696 I thought everyone called him Evan. 127 00:07:00,056 --> 00:07:02,727 Doug! Honey, what are you doing here? 128 00:07:02,935 --> 00:07:04,976 I felt bad about being such an idiot last night. 129 00:07:05,188 --> 00:07:07,680 I thought I'd drive in and see if you wanna have some lunch. 130 00:07:07,942 --> 00:07:10,695 Oh, my God, that is so sweet. Of course I do. 131 00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:13,397 Oh, look, honey! This is my desk. 132 00:07:13,658 --> 00:07:14,773 It's pretty swanky, huh? 133 00:07:15,411 --> 00:07:18,247 I like it. Oh, look at this. I even got you something for it. 134 00:07:19,082 --> 00:07:21,408 "World's Greatest Golfer." 135 00:07:21,669 --> 00:07:24,078 That's all they had in the gift shop downstairs. 136 00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:26,416 No, no, no, it's good. Now I have a goal, right? 137 00:07:26,801 --> 00:07:28,344 Honey, this is so sweet of you. 138 00:07:28,554 --> 00:07:30,214 I'll make a quick copy, then we can go. 139 00:07:30,473 --> 00:07:33,047 - All right, I'll grab the elevator. - Okay, honey. 140 00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:50,701 Hey. 141 00:07:51,084 --> 00:07:52,496 Hello. 142 00:07:53,629 --> 00:07:57,046 I couldn't help noticing that woman in there in your office with you. 143 00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,588 Is she your assistant? 144 00:07:58,803 --> 00:08:01,129 - Yes. Yes, she is. - Yeah. 145 00:08:01,599 --> 00:08:03,675 She's quite a looker. 146 00:08:04,728 --> 00:08:06,851 I suppose, yeah. 147 00:08:07,648 --> 00:08:09,392 - She married? - Yes. 148 00:08:09,609 --> 00:08:11,650 I hate that! Hate it. 149 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:13,143 But you know what? A guy like you, 150 00:08:13,365 --> 00:08:16,117 you probably don't even worry about that kind of thing, huh? 151 00:08:16,577 --> 00:08:18,901 - So, what are you getting at? - I'm just saying, you know, 152 00:08:19,122 --> 00:08:21,793 working with her every day, you gotta be thinking about a little: 153 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,917 Hello, Montana! 154 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:25,870 - Yeah! - Now, now, now, listen. 155 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,918 No, come on, truth now. You gonna go for it? 156 00:08:28,135 --> 00:08:30,673 You're gonna go for it, my man! Come on. 157 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:31,926 All right, that is enough! 158 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:34,014 That woman is a fine employee and a good person. 159 00:08:34,226 --> 00:08:36,599 She deserves better than to be objectified and leered at 160 00:08:36,813 --> 00:08:38,438 by someone like you. 161 00:08:40,265 --> 00:08:43,053 I just wish her husband was here to punch your face in. 162 00:08:53,022 --> 00:08:54,814 Moose. 163 00:08:56,652 --> 00:08:58,146 Moose. 164 00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:00,947 I'm hungry. 165 00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:04,657 Who am I, your mother? Go inside and make a sandwich. 166 00:09:04,913 --> 00:09:06,906 It's too far. 167 00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:11,836 I wish the TV were made of cheese. 168 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,168 You know, that's actually possible. 169 00:09:14,426 --> 00:09:15,837 - Get out of here. - It is. 170 00:09:16,095 --> 00:09:18,765 I mean, you couldn't make it out of Brie. 171 00:09:19,516 --> 00:09:20,715 But, like, a harder cheese, 172 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,890 like a Stilton or an aged Gorgonzola. 173 00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,016 Absolutely. 174 00:09:27,277 --> 00:09:29,436 Could you make a VCR out of crackers? 175 00:09:29,697 --> 00:09:31,322 For God's sake, you're missing the point. 176 00:09:31,532 --> 00:09:33,858 If you went to the trouble of making a TV out of cheese, 177 00:09:34,078 --> 00:09:35,870 you'd have to make a commitment not to eat it. 178 00:09:36,122 --> 00:09:39,539 Then why would you make it out of cheese in the first place? 179 00:09:40,837 --> 00:09:43,126 I can't talk to you. 180 00:09:43,924 --> 00:09:45,039 What do you think, Deac? 181 00:09:45,259 --> 00:09:50,303 I think, why am I here instead of with my wife and child? 182 00:09:51,727 --> 00:09:54,764 And here comes the Jag, right on schedule. 183 00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:57,105 Oh, looks like Evan got it detailed. 184 00:09:57,317 --> 00:09:58,812 All right. Come on, guys. 185 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:02,274 Did he get a haircut? I like it. 186 00:10:02,491 --> 00:10:04,900 I'm not sure. I think he just put something in it. 187 00:10:05,161 --> 00:10:08,247 - I think he's using mousse, Moose. - All right, you know what? It's agreed. 188 00:10:08,458 --> 00:10:10,866 He's got a beautiful car and a fine head of hair, all right? 189 00:10:11,086 --> 00:10:12,497 Get away from the window, will you? 190 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,551 Why do you have to spoil the one new thing in our life? 191 00:10:15,968 --> 00:10:18,294 Yeah, man, you've been in a funky mood all night. 192 00:10:18,513 --> 00:10:21,851 If you're still worried about Carrie and her boss, just talk to her about it. 193 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:23,180 I'm not worried about that. 194 00:10:23,436 --> 00:10:25,061 I met Evan today, and trust me, he's fine. 195 00:10:25,439 --> 00:10:27,148 - How do you know? - I know. 196 00:10:27,358 --> 00:10:31,571 I practically begged him to have sex with her, and nothing. 197 00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:33,324 What are you all wound up about? 198 00:10:33,575 --> 00:10:35,319 I don't know. I don't know. 199 00:10:35,578 --> 00:10:37,702 - Hey, guys. Hi! - Hey. Hi! 200 00:10:37,956 --> 00:10:39,914 Honey, don't forget, cello concert tomorrow night. 201 00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:42,452 - You excited? - Oh, I am. I- 202 00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:44,839 - I'll see you upstairs. - Love you. 203 00:10:45,049 --> 00:10:46,164 - Bye, guys. - Okay. Bye-bye. 204 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,591 What is wrong with me? 205 00:10:48,804 --> 00:10:50,180 I should be happy, you know? 206 00:10:50,390 --> 00:10:53,760 I mean, Carrie's got a great new job, her boss is not hitting on her, 207 00:10:53,978 --> 00:10:55,936 but still there is something that's bothering me, 208 00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:57,939 and I can't figure out what it is. 209 00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,150 Perhaps it's this: 210 00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:02,362 Perhaps you wish that your original suspicions 211 00:11:02,573 --> 00:11:03,736 had been confirmed. 212 00:11:04,075 --> 00:11:06,567 If this Evan was just some creep hitting on your wife, 213 00:11:06,787 --> 00:11:08,365 you could've done something about that. 214 00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:12,912 But now what you're faced with is a more complex problem. 215 00:11:13,379 --> 00:11:17,213 You're realizing that Carrie is immersed in a seductive world 216 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,005 full of bright, dynamic people, 217 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:23,089 a world you can't possibly compete with. 218 00:11:23,476 --> 00:11:27,143 And that frightens the hell out of you. 219 00:11:28,274 --> 00:11:30,184 Yeah, that's it. 220 00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,201 Li Fong... 221 00:11:42,419 --> 00:11:45,421 Honey, honey. How do you pronounce X-I-A-U-A? 222 00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:47,506 - What are you doing? - I'm trying to figure out 223 00:11:47,718 --> 00:11:51,302 how to say this guy's name so I don't sound like such a mook at the concert. 224 00:11:51,514 --> 00:11:55,181 "Hey, this guy on the cello's pretty good over here." You know? 225 00:11:55,812 --> 00:11:59,478 Before you hurt yourself there, I wanted to talk to you about that. 226 00:11:59,692 --> 00:12:01,769 I'm thinking, you know, 227 00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:04,823 maybe we need to take a pass on this cello thing. 228 00:12:05,033 --> 00:12:06,991 What? What are you talking about? 229 00:12:07,202 --> 00:12:09,326 Well, for starters, we'll be missing a softball game. 230 00:12:09,539 --> 00:12:11,912 - So it's one game, hon. - Plus the one you already missed. 231 00:12:12,126 --> 00:12:14,534 I mean, people on the team, they're starting to grumble. 232 00:12:14,754 --> 00:12:18,967 There's a whole lot of internal politics I've been shielding you from. 233 00:12:19,928 --> 00:12:22,800 All right, honey, what is your problem? Are you still on the Evan thing? 234 00:12:23,057 --> 00:12:25,051 No, it's not about Evan. 235 00:12:25,269 --> 00:12:26,384 It's about you, you know? 236 00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:29,012 Since you got this new job, I think it's gone to your head. 237 00:12:29,274 --> 00:12:31,731 - What? Shut up. - Come on, think about it. 238 00:12:31,944 --> 00:12:34,780 First, you didn't want to eat your father's toast. 239 00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:38,449 Right? Then your clothes aren't good enough for you. 240 00:12:38,662 --> 00:12:40,454 Now it's this weird obsession with the cello. 241 00:12:40,665 --> 00:12:42,325 I mean, what's next, bottled water? 242 00:12:42,584 --> 00:12:44,292 Tea? 243 00:12:44,712 --> 00:12:45,743 Okay, you know what, honey? 244 00:12:45,963 --> 00:12:47,542 You gotta spend less time in the garage. 245 00:12:47,758 --> 00:12:49,632 Between the fumes and those friends of yours, 246 00:12:49,844 --> 00:12:52,336 you're losing brain cells. 247 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:54,223 Come on. We both know what this is about. 248 00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:56,759 You're trying to impress your little fancy friends at work. 249 00:12:56,978 --> 00:13:01,227 "Oh, I saw a guy play the cello. Accept me as one of your own." 250 00:13:02,444 --> 00:13:04,901 Maybe I like listening to cello music, all right? 251 00:13:05,114 --> 00:13:06,740 - You ever think of that? - Yeah, okay. 252 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,738 - What's your favourite cello song? - Okay, let me think. 253 00:13:09,954 --> 00:13:11,948 How about "Bite Me"? 254 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,036 That is so not a song. 255 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,039 Well, you are being such an idiot. 256 00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:19,256 At least I'm an idiot who fulfils his commitment 257 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:21,959 to the Queens County Level C co-ed slow-pitch softball league. 258 00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:24,089 And now we're playing softball tomorrow night. 259 00:13:24,349 --> 00:13:26,508 No, you will be playing softball tomorrow. 260 00:13:26,727 --> 00:13:28,222 I will be doing something I enjoy, 261 00:13:28,438 --> 00:13:31,606 which is listening to the music of the world's greatest cellist, 262 00:13:31,859 --> 00:13:34,565 Li Fong... 263 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,275 I don't know! 264 00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:39,936 Yeah, well, say it, don't spray it. 265 00:13:56,392 --> 00:13:57,887 How you doing? 266 00:14:01,066 --> 00:14:02,145 What's that you're wearing? 267 00:14:05,405 --> 00:14:06,436 Softball uniform. 268 00:14:08,117 --> 00:14:10,157 Just more comfortable? 269 00:14:12,539 --> 00:14:13,571 Playing softball. 270 00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:15,577 Oh, that worked out well. 271 00:14:17,004 --> 00:14:18,415 Where's Carrie? 272 00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:21,123 She went to a cello concert. 273 00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:23,462 Oh, fancy. 274 00:14:25,807 --> 00:14:27,967 Listen, Arthur, can I ask you a question? 275 00:14:28,812 --> 00:14:30,390 Sure. 276 00:14:30,647 --> 00:14:32,226 All right, now be honest. 277 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,810 When I first married Carrie, 278 00:14:35,028 --> 00:14:38,862 was there a small part of you that felt that maybe, I don't know, 279 00:14:39,076 --> 00:14:41,449 that I wasn't good enough for her? 280 00:14:41,871 --> 00:14:44,908 Hey, it was a wedding. I'd had a few drinks. 281 00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:48,211 When I said those things, I had no idea I was speaking to your mother. 282 00:14:48,422 --> 00:14:50,249 - No, I know, I just- - She was nodding. 283 00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:52,044 Agreeing with me, for God's sakes! 284 00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:54,218 How could I know? 285 00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:58,180 Arthur, I'm just... 286 00:14:58,393 --> 00:14:59,674 Really? My mother? 287 00:14:59,937 --> 00:15:01,397 Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 288 00:15:01,606 --> 00:15:03,315 Bosomy woman, right? 289 00:15:26,682 --> 00:15:28,391 Excuse me. I'm down there. 290 00:15:39,867 --> 00:15:42,323 - Hi. - What are you doing here? 291 00:15:42,954 --> 00:15:46,289 Car, listen, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and you know what? 292 00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:49,419 If this is something you wanna try, I'm with you. 293 00:15:49,672 --> 00:15:50,917 Really? You really mean that? 294 00:15:51,174 --> 00:15:54,511 I do, I do. If we like it, we like it. If we don't, we don't. 295 00:15:54,548 --> 00:15:56,090 I'm betting we will. 296 00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:00,561 Well, okay. 297 00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:02,306 Thank you. 298 00:16:03,732 --> 00:16:06,271 Oh, here we go. 299 00:16:06,486 --> 00:16:10,188 Okay, all right. Stop. 300 00:16:28,015 --> 00:16:29,843 Should I get the car? 301 00:16:31,687 --> 00:16:33,230 No. 302 00:16:34,941 --> 00:16:38,276 Car, if we leave now, we can still make it by the third inning. Come on. 303 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,440 Doug, I don't wanna leave. 304 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,524 Come on, you can't possibly be liking this. 305 00:16:45,998 --> 00:16:48,751 You can't possibly be liking this. Who are you kidding? 306 00:16:49,002 --> 00:16:50,331 Oh, yes, I am. 307 00:16:50,588 --> 00:16:53,792 Oh, yeah. This? Oh, this is great. 308 00:16:56,721 --> 00:16:59,806 Oh, this is so wonderful. 309 00:17:00,017 --> 00:17:02,176 Come on. 310 00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:07,019 I swear to God, I will smack you. 311 00:17:11,116 --> 00:17:14,402 Will you stop? You're embarrassing me. 312 00:17:14,662 --> 00:17:16,537 I'm embarrassing you? I'm embarrassing you? 313 00:17:16,748 --> 00:17:20,201 You know what? You're embarrassing me. 314 00:17:20,462 --> 00:17:21,837 Are you insane? 315 00:17:22,089 --> 00:17:23,749 Come on. You can't possibly be liking this. 316 00:17:23,966 --> 00:17:26,505 Tell me, what is so great about this? What is so great about it? 317 00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:28,422 Shut up. 318 00:17:42,116 --> 00:17:44,608 I'm sorry. 319 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,786 Carrie, I'm sorry. 320 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,827 I love you. 321 00:17:54,717 --> 00:18:01,256 You can stay or you can leave, I don't care, but just shut up. 322 00:19:23,504 --> 00:19:26,755 Encore! Encore! 323 00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:40,147 Doug, are you coming, or what? 324 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,855 I don't wanna come. 325 00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:45,697 I wanna sit here and keep thinking about what an idiot I've been. 326 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,576 Well, then I'd give you another few hours, 327 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,661 but they're closing the parking garage. 328 00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:53,961 So, what happened to you tonight, Doug? 329 00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:56,330 What made you lose your mind? 330 00:19:58,635 --> 00:20:01,008 You've been so wrapped up in this new job of yours, 331 00:20:01,222 --> 00:20:03,892 with your great new boss and these great people 332 00:20:04,101 --> 00:20:05,928 and all this culture stuff. 333 00:20:06,646 --> 00:20:08,141 I don't know, I just got to wondering, 334 00:20:08,357 --> 00:20:10,564 you know, why you'd ever want to come home to me. 335 00:20:13,322 --> 00:20:15,896 - What? - No, it's just, you know, 336 00:20:16,117 --> 00:20:17,861 you make a good point. 337 00:20:18,954 --> 00:20:21,707 - Thanks. - Well, what the hell is wrong with you? 338 00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:25,085 You think because I take a job on the other side of the river 339 00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:26,839 and go to a frigging cello concert, 340 00:20:27,049 --> 00:20:29,007 I'm not gonna want to be married to you anymore? 341 00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:31,550 No, no, it goes back further than that. 342 00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:33,223 At our wedding, when the priest said, 343 00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,640 "Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband," 344 00:20:35,852 --> 00:20:37,395 and you said, "Yes," 345 00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:40,275 I gotta be honest, I thought you settled. 346 00:20:40,484 --> 00:20:42,940 - All right, this is ridiculous. - It's not ridiculous. 347 00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:46,109 In case you haven't noticed here, there's a little bit of difference. 348 00:20:46,325 --> 00:20:47,606 You, smart and sexy. 349 00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:50,070 Me, not that smart. 350 00:20:50,289 --> 00:20:52,615 Not that sexy. 351 00:20:53,334 --> 00:20:56,005 Well, if you're so undesirable, 352 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,299 how come I think about you in the middle of a meeting at work? 353 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,008 And how come you still make me laugh 354 00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:06,470 after you tell the same dumb joke for the third time? 355 00:21:06,728 --> 00:21:09,433 And how come I can't sleep until I know you're lying next to me? 356 00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:12,061 Really, you can't? 357 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:14,898 No. 358 00:21:15,114 --> 00:21:17,238 Then why do you scream when I touch you? 359 00:21:17,659 --> 00:21:19,866 Because I'm sleeping. I'm startled. 360 00:21:21,206 --> 00:21:22,487 I love you. 361 00:21:24,210 --> 00:21:26,286 I love you too. 362 00:21:29,926 --> 00:21:32,382 - So, what did you think of the concert? - I liked it. 363 00:21:32,596 --> 00:21:34,139 Get out of here. You did not. 364 00:21:34,348 --> 00:21:37,849 I did too. It was long, but it was good. 365 00:21:38,087 --> 00:21:39,796 It was long. 366 00:21:40,006 --> 00:21:42,083 God, it was long. 367 00:21:44,165 --> 00:21:46,123 Hey, Bernstein! 368 00:21:46,334 --> 00:21:48,494 Your mother's a ****! 369 00:21:48,754 --> 00:21:51,163 And she likes to **** for $2! 370 00:21:51,425 --> 00:21:55,009 And you pitch like you got a **** up your ****! 371 00:21:59,978 --> 00:22:01,722 I love you.