1
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,953
(MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,552
I don't know why, I've always
been big on happy endings.

3
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:20,930
You see, to me, the most romantic,
beautiful love stories ever

4
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,515
were the ones where
two people meet, fall in love,

5
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,682
and then 50, 60 years
later, one of them dies.

6
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,805
And then a few days after that,
the other one dies

7
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,228
because they just can't bear
to live without each other.

8
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,936
Not that that's such a good example
of a happy ending.

9
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,562
I mean, you got two dead people
in that example.

10
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,532
But that's how I always thought things
would be for Katie and me.

11
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:44,534
Not that we'd be dead, but that
we would be together forever.

12
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:51,294
BEN: Now, High-Low.
Who wants to go first? Erin?

13
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,715
ERIN: Okay, my high today is that
I sat next to Austin Butler at lunch.

14
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,083
Oh, that's nice.

15
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,460
Is that the boy
with the three-legged dog?

16
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,257
No, Joel Cummings has
the three-legged dog.

17
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,129
Austin has
the turtle that snores.

18
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,140
And your low?

19
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,133
Camp.

20
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,679
KATIE: What about camp?

21
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,803
I don't know.

22
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,180
Honey, you had such
a good time last year.

23
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,598
I know.

24
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,724
What is it?

25
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,981
Are you afraid you're going to lose
touch with Austin over the summer?

26
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:17,687
I don't know.

27
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,234
BEN: Well, you can always
write to each other.

28
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,574
When you sign your name, you can
put those little X's and O's on there.

29
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:22,612
Guys love that,
right?

30
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,277
Can't get enough of it.

31
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,366
Honey, you're gonna
have a great time.

32
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,748
What about you, bonehead?
What was your high today?

33
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:32,001
My high was that Gary Ellis' mom
bought a new juicer,

34
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,023
and today I went over to his house
and drank a chicken.

35
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,504
(CHOKES)

36
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,588
- (LAUGHING)
- And your low?

37
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:37,965
I don't have a low.

38
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,467
You've gotta
have a low.

39
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,175
Look, I've been sitting here racking
my brain, and I do not have a low, okay?

40
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,968
All right, all right.
What if we enter the chicken smoothie

41
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,341
in the high
and low category?

42
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,512
How about you, Mama?

43
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,139
Well...

44
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,978
Oh, I know what your high is.
It's your anniversary.

45
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,621
What are you guys gonna do
tomorrow night?

46
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,060
- Well, I was gonna take your mother...
- Dad's gonna take me...

47
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,854
- ...out to a romantic dinner...
- ...out dancing.

48
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,194
...and possibly
some dancing.

49
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,738
But you're right, sweetie.
That is our high.

50
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,698
JOSH: Look, I'd really love to
stick around for your low,

51
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,738
but the Dodgers
are playing the Giants.

52
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,861
- Go.
- Go.

53
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,737
- Can I go, too?
- Go.

54
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,671
(SIGHS)

55
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,007
Look, I really don't care
what we do tomorrow night.

56
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,632
I don't even care if we end
up at different restaurants.

57
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:28,053
Just as long as the kids see us leaving
together and coming home together.

58
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,300
Right.

59
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:36,183
KATIE: <i>On our first anniversary,
I gave Ben a plastic spoon.</i>

60
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,857
You know, the takeout kind
from a Chinese restaurant?

61
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:44,858
It was the one we had used when we shared
our first bowl of wonton soup in the park.

62
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:49,571
He was afraid he'd lost it,
and I remember how his face lit up

63
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,665
when he opened the little
jewelry box I had wrapped it in.

64
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,712
I keep asking myself,

65
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,376
"When is that moment
in a marriage

66
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,171
"when a spoon becomes
just a spoon?"

67
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:24,280
BEN: <i>When I first met Katie, I was
working as a writer on this comedy show,</i>

68
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,818
<i>and she had been
hired as a temp.</i>

69
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,114
<i>And, I don't know.
It's hard to explain.</i>

70
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,955
<i>There was an instant
connection, this simpatico.</i>

71
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,244
<i>I felt like she just got me.</i>

72
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,202
<i>And believe me,
there is no greater feeling in this world</i>

73
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,124
<i>than to feel gotten.</i>

74
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,372
(SIREN BLARING)

75
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,480
KATIE: <i>I think the loudest
silences are the ones filled</i>

76
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,944
<i>with everything
that's been said,</i>

77
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,439
<i>said wrong, said 300 times.</i>

78
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,442
You're not really
hearing me.

79
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,364
You're so
goddamn critical!

80
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,532
It's hard enough with two children.
I don't need a third.

81
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:58,078
That's right, you're perfect,
and I've done nothing right in 15 years!

82
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,495
You're not listening.

83
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,834
You can't let
go of anything.

84
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,620
You never listen!

85
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,418
You hold on to
every little thing.

86
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,381
Why should you be
responsible for anything?

87
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,636
Do you have to be
critical of every fucking thing?

88
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,087
I kinda just take care of
everything around here.

89
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,544
- Fine!
- Fine!

90
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:18,929
KATIE: <i>Until fighting becomes the
condition rather than the exception,</i>

91
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,680
<i>and suddenly, without
you even knowing it,</i>

92
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,065
<i>it turns into the language
of the relationship,</i>

93
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:27,108
<i>and your only option is a silent
retreat to neutral corners.</i>

94
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,743
KATIE:
Okay, are you a person?

95
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,862
JOSH: Yes.

96
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,113
Are you a man?

97
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,364
That's debatable.

98
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,537
"Debatable"? Do you
have a mustache?

99
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,875
- A thick one.
- Aunt Rose.

100
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,414
- Right.
- Yes!

101
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,422
Good old Aunt
"five-o'clock shadow" Rose.

102
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,791
KATIE: Oh, God, it's almost 9:00.
We're gonna miss the camp bus.

103
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,466
BEN: Whoa! Now, that is what
I call a mobile home.

104
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,885
Can you get around it?
It's five to 9:00.

105
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,803
Boy, they must have
to change their zip code a lot.

106
00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,804
It's happening even as we speak.
Look, 91604, 91604.

107
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,806
ALL: 91605.

108
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:03,897
Could you
pass it?

109
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,391
Their mailman
must be going crazy.

110
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,268
KATIE: The kids are really
gonna miss their bus.

111
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,190
Whoa! Look, up on
the second floor!

112
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,984
Somebody's about to use the bathroom!
KATIE: Ben.

113
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,107
Kids, put
the windows up.

114
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,483
ALL: We're in
the line of fire!

115
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,076
Would you just pass
the goddamn house?

116
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,791
(CHUCKLES) Look, kids,
the house is making a right.

117
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,918
When I was in college,
we had to write a term paper,

118
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,217
it was for, uh, some philosophy
course I was taking,

119
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,762
on any book we considered

120
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:42,102
to be the one that best depicted
how we viewed the world.

121
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,974
And I remember some people
picking books by the great thinkers,

122
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:49,477
like Kierkegaard and Plato.
Some kids chose the <i>Bible.</i>

123
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,230
I did my paper on
<i>Harold and the Purple Crayon.</i>

124
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,655
It's a small book
about a little boy

125
00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,780
who draws the world the way he wants
it to be with his magic crayon.

126
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,452
And I... I just loved
that book because

127
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,045
it was about everything
that I wasn't.

128
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,626
So let me get this straight.
You wanna write crossword puzzles?

129
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,344
- That's really a job somebody wants to do?
- Yes.

130
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,555
- And you would get paid to do this?
- Yes.

131
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,141
So you actually know stuff like
"Ra is the Sun God"?

132
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:24,854
As well as the symbol for radium
and the abbreviation for "regular army."

133
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:27,564
Whoa. I don't know whether to be
impressed or terrified.

134
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,854
I find it very soothing
and reassuring,

135
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,444
because you know
there are always answers.

136
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,197
Yeah, but not
to the really big questions,

137
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,568
like, "Does God exist?"
"What is the meaning of life?"

138
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,991
"Why does my pee smell funny
when I eat asparagus?"

139
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,576
Aspartic acid,
hence the name.

140
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,744
And this soothes you?

141
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:52,047
Yes. Since you'll never really find
the answers to the big questions,

142
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,760
there's a comfort in finding
the answers to the little ones.

143
00:09:56,387 --> 00:10:01,178
Besides, when you finish,
there's this wonderful sense of closure,

144
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:05,019
knowing that that little world
on that half-page is complete.

145
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:13,481
Well, you left
yourself wide open.

146
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,864
(LAUGHING)
Come to Papa!

147
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:23,822
But the problem in a marriage is,
if one person is always Harold,

148
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,789
drawing the world
the way they want it to be,

149
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:29,957
the other person has no choice
but to draw it the way it is.

150
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:34,006
Which is probably why they never wrote
a book about Harold's wife.

151
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,499
They're leaving!
I knew it! I knew it!

152
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,626
(KIDS YELLING)

153
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,093
(HORN HONKING)

154
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,962
(YELLING CONTINUES)

155
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,930
- Grab your bags.
- Go! Go!

156
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,809
- KATIE: Wait! Wait!
- Hold it! Hold it!

157
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,809
Two more coming.
BEN: They'll wait, they'll wait.

158
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,556
- Thank you, Marty.
- Hey, no problem.

159
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,058
- Hey, Marty.
- Hey, Ben.

160
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,980
- Bye, baby.
- I love you. Have a great time.

161
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,194
I love you.
Have a good time.

162
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,312
- Bye, kid.
- Bye, Dad.

163
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,484
- Bye, honey.
- Take your sister's bag.

164
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,732
- Have a great time.
- Thank you.

165
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,950
- I love you.
- I love you.

166
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,366
BOY: Josh, hurry up.
I saved you a seat.

167
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,830
- I love you.
- I love you.

168
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,628
- Bye.
- Bye, honey.

169
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,046
Bye.

170
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,712
Okay.

171
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:04,889
Um, if you need me for anything,
I'll be at the Oceana.

172
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,392
Anything comes up with the kids,
just give me a call.

173
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,469
Of course.

174
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,439
Isn't this the moment
where one of us is supposed to say,

175
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,062
"Look, this is ridiculous.
We love each other.

176
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,656
"All couples go through this.
Let's give it another try"?

177
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,627
(DOOR CLOSES)

178
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,599
My ass was on television
this morning.

179
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,135
What are you
telling us?

180
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,304
I'm telling you,
my ass was on television.

181
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,765
Oh, that's right.
That was that special.

182
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,643
<i>The Kennedy Center Salutes
50 Years of Stan's Ass.</i>

183
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,902
I went to the doctor,
he took this tube

184
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,817
that had a little camera
on the end of it,

185
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:06,568
stuck it up my ass, and we watched it
on a monitor in his office.

186
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,944
- You had a sigmoidoscopy?
- Exactly.

187
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,163
That's a hell of a lot different
than your ass being on television.

188
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,281
How?

189
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,373
Well, first of all,
let's start with the fact

190
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,333
that a network
can't cancel your ass.

191
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,452
Point well taken.

192
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,500
Plus, I don't know what kind of
demographics you hope to be knocking down

193
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,248
with that big, hairy
crack winking at you.

194
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,751
All right. All right, gentlemen.
We're in a public place.

195
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,798
Do you think we could possibly
elevate the level of conversation?

196
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,921
Fine with me.

197
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:30,595
Good. I jerked off to your secretary
last night. I hope you don't mind.

198
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:31,808
- Why should I mind?
- I don't know,

199
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,347
I just wanted to make
sure it was all right,

200
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,811
so I could forge ahead
with a clear conscience.

201
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,930
Pound away.

202
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,351
Oh, you're
a good friend.

203
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,150
Larry really wanted
to have sex last night.

204
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,645
He even gave me
the 30-second massage.

205
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,569
Oh, you mean the "I really care
that you had a bad day" back rub

206
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,488
that stops just before
you truly relax,

207
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,861
and then quickly heads south towards
the promised land?

208
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,033
(GIGGLES) Exactly.

209
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,326
So, did you make love?

210
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,165
Oh, I couldn't.
I was just too tired.

211
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,249
RACHEL: How'd you
get out of it?

212
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,539
Well, I pretended to fall asleep
during the massage.

213
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,663
I even did that
heavy breathing thing.

214
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,289
So he thinks
you're in the really deep REM?

215
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,882
But the whole
thing backfired,

216
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,296
because when
I really fell asleep,

217
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:09,013
the baby started crying,
and then Larry pretended that he was asleep.

218
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,175
Fool.
If he had just gotten up with the baby,

219
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,427
you would have sounded the trumpets,
opened the gates

220
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,178
and welcomed the troops
home for Christmas.

221
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,600
In a heartbeat.

222
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,265
STAN: <i>So what's going on
with you and Charlene?</i>

223
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,643
Ooh, had a great
night last night.

224
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,315
And you still claim
you're not cheating.

225
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,565
Yeah.
I maintain that with every fiber of my being.

226
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,066
Online sex
is not cheating.

227
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,654
How do you figure?

228
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:34,120
It's 3:00 in the morning,
your wife and kids are sleeping upstairs,

229
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,991
and you're downstairs in your den
fucking some bimbo in cyberspace.

230
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:40,915
Okay, first of all,
we're not fucking, we're typing.

231
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,585
And, second of all,
and this is me taking umbrage,

232
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,878
Charlene is not
some bimbo.

233
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,046
BEN: You're right.

234
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,333
She's probably a stockbroker named Ralph
pretending to be some bimbo named Charlene.

235
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,723
Why would you piss on
something so beautiful?

236
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:54,724
What did I say?

237
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,640
It's not an affair.
Teresa never had sex with him.

238
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,888
They just kissed.

239
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,224
A kiss is an affair.

240
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,350
You think so?

241
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,476
Absolutely.

242
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:07,446
Once you establish anything truly
intimate with another person,

243
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,110
even talking,

244
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,909
it has to affect the person you're
supposed to be the most intimate with.

245
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,655
But the crazy thing is,
Teresa could fuck her husband.

246
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,499
She just couldn't kiss him.
I mean, really kiss him.

247
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,163
It's not so crazy.

248
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,832
There have been times when I'm so
angry at Stan that I could fuck him,

249
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,876
but I don't want that cow
tongue anywhere near me.

250
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:28,125
A kiss can be so much
more intimate than sex.

251
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,219
Yeah. Why is that?

252
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:33,760
Because fucking means, "Yeah,
yeah, I love you," but a kiss...

253
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,849
A kiss means,
"I like you."

254
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,344
(GIGGLES)
That's so right.

255
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:43,732
I haven't made out, I mean,
really made out with Larry for years.

256
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,650
Doesn't that
make you sad?

257
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,436
Not really.

258
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,612
Why?

259
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,819
I don't know.

260
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,535
Because it's inevitable.
It's the wear and tear of the job.

261
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,372
The diapers, the tantrums,
the homework, the state capitals.

262
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,832
The kingdom, phylum, genus,
species, your mother, his mother,

263
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,076
and suddenly, all
you're aware of

264
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,373
is that there are too many
wet towels on the floor,

265
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,248
he's hogging the remote,
and he's scratching his back with a fork.

266
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,375
And finally you come
face to face with the immutable truth

267
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,219
that it's virtually
impossible to French kiss a person

268
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,632
who takes the new roll
of toilet paper

269
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,507
and leaves it resting on top
of the empty cardboard roll.

270
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,884
God forbid he takes the two
seconds to actually replace it.

271
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:22,434
Does he not see it?
Does he not see it?

272
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:24,894
I'm telling you.

273
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,564
Marriage is
the Jack Kevorkian of romance.

274
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,774
(SCREAMING)
Oh, God! Ah! Oh!

275
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,994
Oh, Jesus. Shit!

276
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,574
- He hit me!
- I didn't hit her.

277
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,662
(PHONE RINGING)

278
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,748
I was leaving the room
and she was standing in my way.

279
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,287
Ah! He did it
on purpose.

280
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,627
Guys, guys, guys,
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!

281
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,917
- Hello? Hey, Ben? What?
- Hey, look, I've got a big red...

282
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,291
- MAN: Let her rip!
- Katie.

283
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:53,169
You're not gonna believe
what I'm standing in front of.

284
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,420
They're tearing down
our old apartment.

285
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,546
- (THUDDING)
- Ooh!

286
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,297
- What? What?
- See? See?

287
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:58,765
Josh, did you hit her?

288
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,475
- She started it.
- What?

289
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,765
I told her never
to come in my room without asking.

290
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:06,516
It's heading for Mrs. Gutierrez's apartment.
Ooh, there goes her window.

291
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,939
Did you borrow
her Discman without asking?

292
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,937
Yeah, but, I mean,
she was done with it.

293
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,028
Were you done with it?

294
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,675
- Ben, I can't talk now.
- She hasn't used her Discman in 2 days.

295
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,658
Whoa! Just hit
Jack Roikman's place.

296
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,573
Remember the guy
with the patriotic orgasms?

297
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:22,118
"God bless America!
God bless America! Land that I love!"

298
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,990
Can't you just
let him use yours?

299
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:26,414
No! He never
lets me use...

300
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,912
Ben, I can't
talk right now.

301
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,006
But, Katie, this is where
you and I started.

302
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,715
This is where
we became an us.

303
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:37,213
Oh! Just hit the wall where we used
to measure the kids' heights.

304
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,966
Ben, I... Josh, you shouldn't
have hit your sister.

305
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,012
No TV for a week.

306
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,144
You're so unfair.
Wait until I tell Dad.

307
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,432
(KATIE SCREAMS)

308
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:48,147
Jesus Christ! I gotta go.
Are you okay?

309
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,609
Katie! Katie!

310
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,360
(CRASHING)

311
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,150
Goddamn it!

312
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,989
STAN: You don't think
fantasizing is cheating?

313
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,827
DAVE: Oh, please.
Who was getting hurt?

314
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:03,410
Yesterday, I met this
stunning blonde woman

315
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,829
up at the food court
at the Beverly Center.

316
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,543
She had, like, one of those little rings
in the belly button thing.

317
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,662
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

318
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:10,879
Yeah. But you know
what? I forgave her.

319
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,624
'Cause at least it wasn't
in her eyebrow or in her tongue.

320
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,342
Beautiful. Beautiful.
We start chatting,

321
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,145
and we struck up a little conversation
waiting for our turkey roll-ups.

322
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,507
And I'm telling you,
she's smiling, I'm smiling.

323
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,476
And just that,
that 30-second encounter,

324
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,016
that alone will do
wonders for me tonight

325
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,208
when I'm shaking hands
with the sheriff.

326
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,349
I know exactly what
you're talking about.

327
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:33,060
- Am I wrong?
- No. No, you're right.

328
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:36,404
The other day, I told a joke to this
very intriguing woman

329
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,943
that I ran into
at the dry cleaners'.

330
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,193
I mean, if this had been the '30s,
she definitely would have been a communist.

331
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,365
Or at a minimum,
a communist sympathizer.

332
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:46,661
But the point is,
the way she laughed at that joke

333
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,910
reminded me of how
Rachel used to laugh at my jokes.

334
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:50,960
DAVE: You gonna follow up?

335
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,501
Oh, no, I could
never do that.

336
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:57,877
I think the Ten Commandments
were probably a lot easier to stick to

337
00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,924
when you dropped
dead at 35.

338
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,388
I mean, we...
They should be amended.

339
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,350
They should have a little amendment,
like the Constitution, you know.

340
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,094
Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbor's house,

341
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,686
thy neighbor's wife,
thy neighbor's ass.

342
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:12,854
But, if you feel you have
to covet your neighbor's wife's ass,

343
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,022
just don't do it
in thy neighbor's house.

344
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,146
What is wrong with that?
A simple amendment.

345
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,113
Two-thirds majority.
Slide through both houses.

346
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,448
Seriously, name
me one person,

347
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:22,943
name one guy that you know
who's never cheated on his wife.

348
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,702
(YELLING)
I wasn't cheating!

349
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:25,946
I walk into your office,

350
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,994
and I hear you telling
some woman, some Sara,

351
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,043
intimate details
about our relationship,

352
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:34,003
about our problems?

353
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,215
Obviously there's something going on
between you and this woman.

354
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:40,382
There is nothing going on between us!
We were just talking!

355
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,550
About us?
About our life?

356
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,718
We were just talking!

357
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,593
That's not talking.
That's a relationship!

358
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,057
Why didn't you tell me about
her if there's nothing to hide?

359
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,271
Why didn't you tell me?

360
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,230
I just needed
somebody to talk to!

361
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,475
Bullshit!

362
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,898
Why didn't you talk to me?

363
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,442
ERIN: Mommy, I need
a drink of water.

364
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,280
I'll be right there,
honey.

365
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,470
BEN: You wanna know why I don't talk to you?
You wanna know why?

366
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:06,407
Because you treat me like
I'm some big fucking pain in the ass

367
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,451
that gets in the way
of what otherwise would be

368
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,824
a perfectly normal,
organized life!

369
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:14,545
Have you ever thought that
maybe everything isn't always about you?

370
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,834
Maybe I'm tired.

371
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:19,504
Maybe I'm dealing
with 5,000 things all day long.

372
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,423
Maybe every little need
you have doesn't always have to be met

373
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,343
at the exact moment
you need it to be met.

374
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,760
ERIN: Mommy!

375
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:29,134
God, we have actual
kids here, Ben.

376
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,478
I am not a third child!

377
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,598
I am not talking about having
every one of my needs met!

378
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:37,567
I'm talking about
a connection, a look,

379
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,608
something that says that
we're on the same side here.

380
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,114
Why don't you talk
to your girlfriend?

381
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:46,110
I'm sure she can help us
get back on the same side.

382
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:58,414
The key to a happy marriage is to accept
the essential chasm between men and women.

383
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,424
Which is?

384
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,008
A man can mend
a fight with sex.

385
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,378
A woman can't have sex
until they've resolved the fight.

386
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,053
Why is that?

387
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:08,799
It's the basic difference between
the penis and the vagina.

388
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:12,769
A penis is a thruster,
a battering ram, if you will.

389
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,936
Even if it's mad, it can ram.
Sometimes it even helps.

390
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,182
It's the mad-ram
principle.

391
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:20,186
However, the vagina...
Ah, the vagina.

392
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,403
(CLICKS TONGUE)

393
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,647
The vagina has
to be relaxed

394
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,240
in order to open
and receive.

395
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:29,156
It can't be that gracious hostess
in a state of anger.

396
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:31,325
And that goes for blow jobs
and kissing as well.

397
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:37,920
Every female point of entry needs to
know that the penis is coming in peace.

398
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,038
Do you have any
Sweet'N Low?

399
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:40,630
WAITER: Would Equal be okay?

400
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,044
RACHEL: Whatever.

401
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,553
BEN: <i>I've always felt that no matter
what Katie and I were going through,</i>

402
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,095
<i>no matter how painful
things got,</i>

403
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:57,222
<i>if our feet found each other under the blankets,
even just the slightest connection,</i>

404
00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:00,442
<i>it would let us know that we'd entered
the demilitarized zone,</i>

405
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,778
<i>that we were gonna be okay,
that we were still an us.</i>

406
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,693
There are some hurts
that you never completely get over,

407
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:14,539
and you think, I don't know
that time will diminish their presence.

408
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:18,456
And to a degree, it does,
but, uh, it still hurts,

409
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,169
because, well,

410
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,538
(INHALES)

411
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,756
hurt hurts.

412
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:31,807
WOMAN: <i>If you lose your room key,
contact the front desk.</i>

413
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:36,304
<i>And if you've got valuables, keep them
in the hotel safe. It's complimentary.</i>

414
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:41,562
<i>For family dining, how about a pizza poolside
from our Wolfgang Puck cafe?</i>

415
00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:45,570
<i>Then it's a quick walk
to the Santa Monica Pier and the beach.</i>

416
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:49,487
<i>When the kids are acting up,
the waves will set them straight.</i>

417
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:10,008
<i>The Patriot is proof positive
that missile defense works.</i>

418
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,973
<i>And as we've been taught
by Saddam Hussein...</i>

419
00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:14,591
There's something about the way
that man says "Saddam"

420
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:16,559
that just makes me
want you even more.

421
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:19,430
<i>One ruler without regard
for human decency.</i>

422
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,931
(CLATTERING)

423
00:23:21,442 --> 00:23:22,978
(GASPING)

424
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,024
(MOANING)

425
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,530
(PANTING)

426
00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:30,694
Oh, my God!

427
00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:32,784
- Yes, baby.
- The tooth fairy.

428
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:34,743
- Where?
- Josh's tooth.

429
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,409
We forgot to put
money under his pillow.

430
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,531
Honey.

431
00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:40,329
Honey, Josh is asleep.
I'm sure this can wait a few more minutes.

432
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,999
No, no, no, baby!
We might forget later.

433
00:23:43,005 --> 00:23:44,962
(BOTH PANTING)

434
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,419
Well, who goes?

435
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:50,631
Rock, paper, scissors.
Shit!

436
00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:53,297
(EXCLAIMING)

437
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:55,636
Mr. President,

438
00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:58,181
I'm entrusting you with
my soon-to-be-naked wife.

439
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:02,188
You take care of her, take care of the country.
And my love to Barbara.

440
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,307
I'll be right back.

441
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:04,770
Oh, Ben!

442
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:05,858
What?

443
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:08,318
Ah?

444
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:15,785
(WHISPERING)
I'll be right back.

445
00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:08,581
Everything that's important
in the world is in this bed right now.

446
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:14,002
(MOUTHING)
I love you.

447
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:16,463
(MOUTHING)
I love you.

448
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,069
(DIALING)

449
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:39,285
(PHONE RINGING)

450
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,910
(RINGING)

451
00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:48,002
(RINGING)

452
00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:49,166
(ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS)

453
00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:52,917
BEN: <i>Hi, you've reached the home of Jordan,
Jordan, Jordan and Jordan.</i>

454
00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:55,009
<i>Nary a Jordan is present
at the moment,</i>

455
00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:58,505
<i>so if you want to leave a message for Katie,
Ben, Josh or Erin,</i>

456
00:25:58,515 --> 00:26:00,097
<i>what better time than...</i>

457
00:26:00,601 --> 00:26:02,263
(MACHINE BEEPS)

458
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,269
Uh, hi, it's me.

459
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,264
I'm just calling to see
how the kids are doing,

460
00:26:08,358 --> 00:26:10,224
see if we got
any postcards from them.

461
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:14,154
<i>Anything comes up,
you can give me a call.</i>

462
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,443
<i>Okay. Bye-bye.</i>

463
00:26:16,450 --> 00:26:18,191
(RECEIVER CLICKS)

464
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:22,787
(SIGHS)

465
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,617
(PHONE RINGING)

466
00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:33,293
Hello?

467
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:34,924
Hi.

468
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,008
BEN: <i>Oh, hi.</i>

469
00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:39,421
KATIE: <i>Uh, listen,
I just got your message.</i>

470
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,343
<i>I was in the shower
when you called.</i>

471
00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:44,809
Um, the kids seem to
be doing really well.

472
00:26:44,812 --> 00:26:48,180
Um, I just put
the postcards in an envelope.

473
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:50,728
<i>You should be
getting them tomorrow.</i>

474
00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:51,850
Good.

475
00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:55,399
You okay?

476
00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:58,406
Yeah, I'm okay.
You okay?

477
00:26:59,201 --> 00:27:01,113
Yeah, I'm okay.

478
00:27:03,747 --> 00:27:04,908
Okay.

479
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:09,124
Bye.

480
00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,079
Bye.

481
00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:26,768
MAN: (ON TV) <i>The world of
the honey bee is filled with sunshine,</i>

482
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:29,387
<i>meadows
and bright-colored flowers.</i>

483
00:27:30,607 --> 00:27:35,352
<i>Honey bees live
in well-organized homes called hives.</i>

484
00:27:35,362 --> 00:27:39,106
<i>It is here that they raise their young
and make their honey.</i>

485
00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:44,820
(TAPPING ON KEYBOARD)

486
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:46,446
(PHONE RINGING)

487
00:27:50,878 --> 00:27:51,994
Hello?

488
00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,087
Yeah, hi. It's me.

489
00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:56,209
Oh, hi.

490
00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:00,593
How are you?

491
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:03,009
I'm good. Good.
Yeah, really good.

492
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:05,177
KATIE: <i>Good. What's up?</i>

493
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:06,265
Huh?

494
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:08,388
What's up?

495
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:10,053
Oh, um...

496
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:15,475
You know, I was just thinking about
the upstairs bathroom, and I wanted to remind you

497
00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:18,523
to schedule that guy
to come in and re-caulk the bathtub.

498
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,317
I've already done it.

499
00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:23,316
Oh. Uh... Well.

500
00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:25,652
Good.

501
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:28,242
<i>Okay. Uh...</i>

502
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:31,327
Then...

503
00:28:32,461 --> 00:28:33,497
Bye.

504
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,207
Bye.

505
00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:40,670
(SIGHS)

506
00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:44,713
WOMAN: (ON TV) <i>All right. Everybody looks great.
Here comes Ron.</i>

507
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:46,259
(PHONE RINGS)

508
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:48,349
<i>All right. Did you
get it all out?</i>

509
00:28:48,352 --> 00:28:49,809
(GRUNTING)

510
00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:51,682
Hello.

511
00:28:51,939 --> 00:28:56,229
I was just calling to see if you remember
the name of that tree surgeon we used.

512
00:28:56,777 --> 00:28:57,893
Joey Bishop.

513
00:28:57,903 --> 00:29:00,145
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Yeah, but no.

514
00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,651
But it was one of those
Rat Pack guys, right?

515
00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:03,774
<i>Yeah, right.</i>

516
00:29:03,784 --> 00:29:05,491
- Frank Sinatra.
- No.

517
00:29:05,494 --> 00:29:06,826
<i>- Dean Martin.</i>
- No.

518
00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:08,323
Sammy Davis, Jr.?

519
00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:10,822
That's it!
Joey Davis, Jr.!

520
00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:13,996
Joey Davis, Jr.,
the tree surgeon.

521
00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:16,665
I can still see the sign on that little
blue truck of his.

522
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,755
Right. Okay, thanks.

523
00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:23,380
Okay. Bye.

524
00:29:23,887 --> 00:29:26,675
Listen, uh, your shirts came back
from the cleaners.

525
00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:29,932
Oh. Uh, cool.

526
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,385
I'll come by and get 'em.

527
00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:34,308
Because I can
drop them off.

528
00:29:34,314 --> 00:29:36,897
No, no. No, it's fine.
I'll be happy to come get 'em.

529
00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:38,816
What would be
a good time for you?

530
00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:42,946
I don't know.
Um, why don't you come over tomorrow?

531
00:29:42,948 --> 00:29:45,941
I'll be home by 7:00.
If you want, you can stay for dinner.

532
00:29:47,244 --> 00:29:48,325
You sure?

533
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:50,237
No.

534
00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:52,447
Okay.

535
00:29:53,083 --> 00:29:54,244
See you tomorrow.

536
00:30:06,388 --> 00:30:08,550
(SONG PLAYING)

537
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:15,310
(SIGHS)

538
00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:14,366
(CLANKING)

539
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:17,786
(HUMMING SLINKY JINGLE)

540
00:31:37,354 --> 00:31:39,311
(DOORBELL RINGS)

541
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,121
Hi.

542
00:32:01,878 --> 00:32:02,994
Hi.

543
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:09,842
You look like...
Like you.

544
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:13,845
You, too.

545
00:32:13,849 --> 00:32:14,930
(LAUGHS)

546
00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:23,639
I guess I could just stand out here
on the porch all night.

547
00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:25,892
I mean, I've been in the house.
I've seen it.

548
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:29,441
How many times have we said,
"We really should use this porch more often"?

549
00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:33,237
Come in. Come in.
My house is literally your house.

550
00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:35,201
Thank you.

551
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,407
Hey, there's my
dry-cleaning.

552
00:32:41,418 --> 00:32:43,751
Yeah, I left it
out for you.

553
00:32:43,753 --> 00:32:46,370
Good. That way
I'll remember to take it with me.

554
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,919
Because I could put it
in the closet, but I...

555
00:32:48,925 --> 00:32:52,384
No, no. That is perfect
dry-cleaning placement.

556
00:32:54,931 --> 00:32:57,139
- Do you want a drink?
- Do you want something to...

557
00:32:58,602 --> 00:33:00,218
- Want some wine?
- Yeah.

558
00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:03,475
I think I remember
where it is.

559
00:33:04,024 --> 00:33:05,936
If memory serves correct,
you like red wine?

560
00:33:05,942 --> 00:33:07,058
That's right.

561
00:33:07,068 --> 00:33:09,685
Yeah, yeah, it's all
coming back to me.

562
00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:11,938
(INHALES DEEPLY)

563
00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:14,907
Wine is breathing
a lot better than I am.

564
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:21,497
So, hey, you'll never believe
what I did last night.

565
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:22,866
What?

566
00:33:22,876 --> 00:33:25,243
I actually attempted
to do one of your crossword puzzles.

567
00:33:25,253 --> 00:33:26,494
No.

568
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:27,916
Yes.

569
00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:32,338
I have a question. What was three-down?
I just couldn't get it.

570
00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:35,879
Four letters. "Feeling
of psychological discomfort."

571
00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:37,765
"Blah."

572
00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:40,592
"Blah."

573
00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:44,516
Cheers.

574
00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:46,313
Cheers.

575
00:33:55,575 --> 00:33:56,736
Did...

576
00:33:58,537 --> 00:33:59,653
Was this always here?

577
00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:02,113
No, I bought
it last week.

578
00:34:04,584 --> 00:34:07,497
Any other new appliances
I should know about?

579
00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:11,209
Well, as long as we're spilling
our guts here,

580
00:34:11,216 --> 00:34:13,674
I also got this
new garlic press.

581
00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:17,128
The body's not even cold,
and she's out buying garlic presses.

582
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:18,299
(LAUGHS)

583
00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:31,017
(SIGHS)

584
00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:32,484
How do you think
the kids are doing?

585
00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:35,488
Well, from the cards,
it sounds like they're doing pretty good.

586
00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:37,777
I think Erin misses us,
but she's okay.

587
00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:40,192
Yeah, she seems okay.

588
00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:42,115
You think she's okay?

589
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:43,329
I think she's okay.

590
00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:46,407
Because I think she senses
that we're not okay, and...

591
00:34:47,711 --> 00:34:49,452
Parents' Weekend
is coming.

592
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,463
Well, we'll just
have to give her

593
00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:58,465
a lot of extra attention
and really love her up.

594
00:34:59,222 --> 00:35:00,463
Yeah.

595
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:10,855
Should we eat?

596
00:35:10,859 --> 00:35:12,600
Yeah, I could eat.

597
00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:16,942
(ROMANTIC ACOUSTIC MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)

598
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,780
This is really good.

599
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:19,864
Thanks.

600
00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:24,862
High-Low?

601
00:35:24,873 --> 00:35:26,080
Sure.

602
00:35:26,708 --> 00:35:27,789
What's your high?

603
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:30,243
- Honestly?
- Yeah.

604
00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:32,537
Right now.

605
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:35,918
And your low?

606
00:35:38,345 --> 00:35:40,837
Every minute of
the last two weeks.

607
00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:43,635
How about you?

608
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:50,187
My high would have to be the Cuisinart,
because I wanted it ever so badly.

609
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:51,976
And your low?

610
00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:53,269
Hmm...

611
00:35:53,276 --> 00:35:54,392
I would have to say
the garlic press.

612
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:56,815
It's not nearly as handy
as I thought it would be.

613
00:35:57,697 --> 00:36:01,031
I lay myself open,
and you mock me with kitchenware.

614
00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:03,902
All the while making me
more attractive to you.

615
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:07,447
Is that your intention?

616
00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:09,407
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

617
00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,373
I'm not sure.

618
00:36:15,632 --> 00:36:18,340
Well, it's working.

619
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:49,325
Well, looks like I haven't been doing
too much reading.

620
00:36:49,332 --> 00:36:50,994
(LAUGHS)

621
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,582
Yeah. No. Right.

622
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,128
Whoa!

623
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:58,748
Okay. I'm ready.
How about you?

624
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:01,716
- I, uh...
- What?

625
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,882
- Uh...
- Come on, Katie.

626
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:05,345
Remember what
Dr. Tischner said,

627
00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:08,466
"If you had it once,
you can always get it back."

628
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:13,013
Was that Dr. Tischner
or was that Dr. Hopkins?

629
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:15,773
- Hopkins?
- Yeah.

630
00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:17,266
The one with
the sibilant "S."

631
00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:21,817
Right. No. Wrong.
It was a lateral lisp.

632
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:25,775
(LISPING) Sex is simply
a symbolic expression

633
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:27,868
of the emotional status
of a relationship.

634
00:37:28,496 --> 00:37:33,207
Sustained lack of sex is
symptomatic of disassociation.

635
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:37,086
No, no. The one
with the lateral lisp was Dr. Rifkin.

636
00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:40,297
Dr. Hopkins was the one
with the Rorschach birthmark on his forehead.

637
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,508
Right. The one that looked like
the state of California.

638
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,968
How could you pay attention
to anything that guy was saying?

639
00:37:45,305 --> 00:37:47,592
This cycle
of closeness,

640
00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:50,057
then estrangement
you've both told me about,

641
00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:53,723
what instigates it, triggers it?
First thing that comes to your mind.

642
00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:55,847
- Sacramento.
- Governor Gray Davis.

643
00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:59,976
Oh, my personal favorite was
the Freudian with the prostate problem.

644
00:37:59,986 --> 00:38:01,443
(LAUGHING)

645
00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:03,862
When two people
go to bed,

646
00:38:03,865 --> 00:38:06,608
there are actually
six people in that bed.

647
00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:09,694
If you'll excuse me.

648
00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:14,414
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Are we allowed to talk when he's gone?

649
00:38:14,417 --> 00:38:16,454
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- I don't know.

650
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:18,661
What do you think?

651
00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:20,496
To be on the safe side,
maybe we better not.

652
00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:21,964
(DOOR OPENS)

653
00:38:29,349 --> 00:38:32,057
The six people in bed
are the two of you,

654
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:35,178
and your parents,
and your parents.

655
00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:38,689
Now, the key is...

656
00:38:39,359 --> 00:38:41,396
Will you excuse me,
please?

657
00:38:42,904 --> 00:38:43,985
(DOOR CLOSES)

658
00:38:44,697 --> 00:38:47,440
(LAUGHING) I can't believe that guy
charged us for the full session.

659
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:49,817
The man was peeing
on our time.

660
00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:52,865
(SIGHS)

661
00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:56,203
All that therapy was just
a waste of time and money.

662
00:38:56,209 --> 00:38:59,122
When you think about it,
where did all that therapy really get us?

663
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:02,087
It got us right here,
laughing about it.

664
00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:04,002
- He's right.
- Oh, what are you talking about?

665
00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:06,045
Once it's broken,
it can never really be fixed.

666
00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:07,338
- I don't know.
- The queen has spoken.

667
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:08,461
- What?
- Nothing.

668
00:39:08,471 --> 00:39:09,757
Maybe it's just
too soon.

669
00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,471
Too soon?
What are you talking about?

670
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:14,091
The whole point of having a knockdown,
drag-out fight

671
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,310
is playing "Hide the Salami"
afterwards.

672
00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:17,803
See?

673
00:39:17,814 --> 00:39:18,930
Let hard times
bring you together.

674
00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:20,431
Nobody said
it would be easy.

675
00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:22,398
Can't we let hard
times bring us together?

676
00:39:22,402 --> 00:39:24,109
Nobody said
it was gonna be easy.

677
00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:25,478
It's like
the Andrews Sisters.

678
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,275
After <i>Boogie
Woogie Bugle Boy</i>

679
00:39:27,282 --> 00:39:29,399
and before
<i>Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree.</i>

680
00:39:29,409 --> 00:39:31,571
Big career
slump there.

681
00:39:31,578 --> 00:39:32,785
It's like
the Andrews Sisters before

682
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,369
<i>Don't Sit Under
The Apple Tree.</i>

683
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:35,488
The Andrews Sisters?

684
00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:38,366
Sure. They didn't stop singing
just because they had a few flops.

685
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,618
They hung in there,
and the rest is music history.

686
00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:43,462
(SINGING) <i>Don't sit under the apple tree
with anyone else but me</i>

687
00:39:43,464 --> 00:39:44,625
Uh, I just don't
understand

688
00:39:44,632 --> 00:39:46,498
- why you're bringing up the Andrews Sisters now.
- No, no, no.

689
00:39:46,509 --> 00:39:48,626
- You're singing?
- It's just an example, Katie.

690
00:39:48,636 --> 00:39:50,923
These kids are in trouble,
and you're singing?

691
00:39:50,930 --> 00:39:54,799
Oh, Dot. Put out once in a while.
Your face won't be so tight.

692
00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:55,925
Slut.

693
00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:58,427
I just don't understand
what their career slump

694
00:39:58,438 --> 00:40:00,270
has to do with our
marital problems.

695
00:40:00,273 --> 00:40:01,354
BOTH: (SINGING) <i>Don't sit under
the apple tree</i>

696
00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:02,473
What are we
supposed to do?

697
00:40:02,483 --> 00:40:04,645
Making matters worse
by dwelling on every little thing

698
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:06,018
- for the rest of our lives?
- Harry!

699
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:08,817
Is that what you think I do?
Is that how you see me?

700
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:09,984
You're a child,
Harry.

701
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,402
That I just dwell
on everything?

702
00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:13,655
DOT: You're
a 72-year-old infant.

703
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:17,655
There are real problems here
that we haven't even begun to deal with.

704
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:20,999
Don't you think I know that?
Jesus, what happened to you?

705
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:22,459
What happened
to that fun girl,

706
00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:24,078
the one with the pith helmet?
Where did she go?

707
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:27,331
You don't think I ask
myself that every day?

708
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:31,214
You beat her out of me!
There's no room here for her.

709
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,677
You think it's all
fun and games, Harry.

710
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,047
So, I guess it's all my fault
that you hang on to every little thing.

711
00:40:35,058 --> 00:40:36,594
But the car doesn't
drive by itself.

712
00:40:36,601 --> 00:40:38,638
It's all my fault that you can't let
go of anything.

713
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:39,931
Someone has
to take the wheel.

714
00:40:39,938 --> 00:40:42,271
It's all my fault that you turned into
your goddamn mother?

715
00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:44,014
(SCREAMS) Fuck you!

716
00:41:22,105 --> 00:41:23,641
- Katie...
- No.

717
00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:30,610
(SIGHS)

718
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:32,024
Look, I still think that
there is a chance...

719
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:34,398
Ben, you love
who we were.

720
00:41:34,409 --> 00:41:37,902
You couldn't possibly love
what we've become.

721
00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:41,155
I think I spotted us
at dinner tonight.

722
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:46,585
We can't stay together
just because we get a glimpse of us

723
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,544
every once in a while.

724
00:41:49,215 --> 00:41:51,423
It was less
than 15 minutes ago.

725
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:52,633
(SIGHS)

726
00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:56,424
All we proved that is if we're
apart for weeks at a time,

727
00:41:56,431 --> 00:41:57,547
we might be able
to get through a dinner.

728
00:41:57,557 --> 00:41:59,298
- That's not a marriage.
- Katie.

729
00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:00,549
Ben...

730
00:42:05,815 --> 00:42:07,272
It's over.

731
00:42:15,491 --> 00:42:16,607
(SIGHING)

732
00:42:36,137 --> 00:42:37,548
(DOOR OPENS)

733
00:42:38,639 --> 00:42:39,720
(DOOR SHUTS)

734
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:40,931
(SOBS)

735
00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:46,220
You're writing a book
about your grandmother?

736
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,643
Yeah. She was
an extraordinary woman.

737
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,482
Oh, I'm sure she was.

738
00:42:50,485 --> 00:42:51,771
Did she fuck
a president?

739
00:42:51,778 --> 00:42:52,894
No.

740
00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:55,146
No. Did she
discover uranium?

741
00:42:55,156 --> 00:42:56,237
No.

742
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,401
- A cure for cancer?
- No.

743
00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:59,240
- Nothing like that?
- No.

744
00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:01,827
Why would anybody
want to read a book about her?

745
00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:04,663
Because, Dave,
she was four-foot-nine.

746
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:06,497
She immigrated from Europe
when she was a little girl.

747
00:43:06,501 --> 00:43:09,585
She worked in a sweatshop
making buttonholes 14 hours a day,

748
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:11,920
and yet somehow
managed to raise five kids

749
00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:14,461
and stay married
to the same man for 57 years.

750
00:43:14,467 --> 00:43:15,548
I'm telling you, Dave,

751
00:43:15,551 --> 00:43:17,634
this is gonna be the greatest
love story ever told.

752
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:22,510
Let me explain something to you.
Not as your agent.

753
00:43:22,892 --> 00:43:24,724
This is as a friend.

754
00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:29,722
Come here.
Come here.

755
00:43:30,525 --> 00:43:33,438
All right. You see
all these people out here, huh?

756
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:36,278
You see they're getting into buildings.
They're driving in cars.

757
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,318
They're crossing the street there.
They're walking around.

758
00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:42,450
Every single one
of these people

759
00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:45,992
is going to die someday.
And they all know it.

760
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:50,500
Which is why
they tend to regard

761
00:43:50,503 --> 00:43:53,086
the time that they
have on this planet as precious.

762
00:43:53,089 --> 00:43:56,582
Now, there are a lot of things
that take up a lot of that time,

763
00:43:56,592 --> 00:43:59,881
even if they don't enjoy it.
They have to go to work. They have to get dressed.

764
00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:03,881
They have to wait in lines.
They have to clean yards. They gotta get batteries.

765
00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:05,974
They have to visit
the eye doctors.

766
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:07,513
They're doing
all these things.

767
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:12,356
Now, add that to the time they spend
sleeping and eating,

768
00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:15,647
and washing up
and voting,

769
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:18,066
and buying gifts
for people they don't even like,

770
00:44:18,072 --> 00:44:21,611
and you can see why they're
so choosy about how they spend

771
00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:23,028
whatever leisure
time they do have.

772
00:44:23,286 --> 00:44:24,868
And you can
understand why,

773
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:28,080
unless she went down on
somebody really interesting,

774
00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:30,324
why they're not gonna
waste their valuable time

775
00:44:30,334 --> 00:44:33,827
reading a book about your
fucking grandmother!

776
00:44:36,799 --> 00:44:39,587
So if I'm reading you right,
you don't like the idea.

777
00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:40,835
It's not that.

778
00:44:51,814 --> 00:44:55,683
You know, I find the Ariana much more
fragrant than the Raphaela.

779
00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:59,107
Ari... Oh.
I'll keep that in mind.

780
00:44:59,530 --> 00:45:01,146
- How you doing?
- Fine.

781
00:45:01,741 --> 00:45:05,155
I never got a chance to thank you
for holding the camp bus.

782
00:45:05,161 --> 00:45:08,495
Oh, please, please.
Any time you need a bus held, I am your guy.

783
00:45:08,497 --> 00:45:10,159
And I noticed Erin's
teeth are looking good.

784
00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:11,657
Thanks to you.

785
00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:13,909
I just hope she's remembering
to wear her night retainer.

786
00:45:14,462 --> 00:45:16,374
Well, you know how
kids are at camp.

787
00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:20,044
Oh, please. The minute my Kevin gets
off that bus, it's goodbye, bite plate.

788
00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:21,545
Is that for you?

789
00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:23,134
Oh, uh... Yes.

790
00:45:23,512 --> 00:45:26,880
When Deirdre and I got divorced,
I decided that I had to learn how to cook.

791
00:45:26,891 --> 00:45:29,850
Ah. <i>The Wok-y World
of Thai Cooking.</i>

792
00:45:29,852 --> 00:45:31,263
I'm branching out.

793
00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:32,556
You know, as a matter
of fact, I'm taking

794
00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:34,020
a Thai cooking course
this summer.

795
00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:37,646
Really?
I've always been interested in Asian cooking.

796
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:39,359
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

797
00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:40,694
Well, why don't
you join me?

798
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:45,156
KATIE: <i>When I think about it,</i>

799
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:49,324
over the years, there were less and
less moments in the course of the day

800
00:45:49,330 --> 00:45:52,789
when Ben and I actually
made real eye contact.

801
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,332
You are not
gonna believe...

802
00:45:54,335 --> 00:45:56,622
- Shh.
- What?

803
00:45:56,629 --> 00:45:58,165
(WHISPERING)
He's almost asleep.

804
00:45:58,172 --> 00:45:59,913
(BABY CRYING)

805
00:45:59,924 --> 00:46:01,836
KATIE: <i>Maybe
it was the stuff of life.</i>

806
00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:03,842
<i>"Who's going to take
Erin to school?"</i>

807
00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:04,960
Come here.

808
00:46:04,971 --> 00:46:07,509
KATIE: <i>"Whose turn is it to pick
up Josh from his clarinet lesson?"</i>

809
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:08,676
- Go! Go!
- Yes!

810
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:09,844
KATIE: <i>But after a while</i>

811
00:46:09,850 --> 00:46:13,218
<i>there was a disturbing comfort in not
really having to deal with each other.</i>

812
00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:17,189
<i>Because somehow,
you just get used to the disconnection.</i>

813
00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:18,272
(MAN CHATTERING ON TV)

814
00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:22,236
<i>And even at night, when we could finally
come together, we wound up facing forward.</i>

815
00:46:22,238 --> 00:46:26,824
<i>Yeah, we were tired, but I think we were
afraid that if we faced each other,</i>

816
00:46:26,826 --> 00:46:28,533
<i>there'd be
nothing there.</i>

817
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,282
We're learning
Mee Krob next week.

818
00:46:31,497 --> 00:46:32,988
Mee Krob?

819
00:46:34,417 --> 00:46:35,783
I'll let you know.

820
00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:36,874
Okay.

821
00:46:37,378 --> 00:46:38,914
Oh. Here.

822
00:46:40,006 --> 00:46:41,872
I'll call you. Uh...
You call me.

823
00:46:41,882 --> 00:46:43,043
Okay.

824
00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:50,012
BEN: <i>When we drove to the camp for Parents'
Weekend,</i>

825
00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:52,258
<i>I was scared to death
of having to face the kids.</i>

826
00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:56,144
<i>It was the kind of thing you would
talk about with a best friend,</i>

827
00:46:56,147 --> 00:46:57,513
<i>but Katie had been
my best friend,</i>

828
00:46:57,523 --> 00:46:59,936
<i>and now I didn't know
what we were to each other,</i>

829
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:02,309
<i>except Josh
and Erin's parents.</i>

830
00:47:07,533 --> 00:47:09,115
(MAN ANNOUNCING ON PA)

831
00:47:24,717 --> 00:47:27,175
(SIGHS HEAVILY)

832
00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:30,212
What?

833
00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:33,390
Nothing.

834
00:47:34,310 --> 00:47:36,393
(IMITATES HEAVY SIGHING)

835
00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:37,886
...is nothing?

836
00:47:39,482 --> 00:47:41,724
This is not going
to be easy.

837
00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:46,278
Look, I swear to God, Ben, the kids do not
need to be burdened with our problems.

838
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,397
They've still got
half a summer left.

839
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:51,366
Yeah, like that was my plan,
to burden the kids with our problems.

840
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:54,362
Jesus Christ, Katie,
will you give me some fucking credit?

841
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:55,908
ERIN: Mom!
JOSH: Dad!

842
00:47:55,915 --> 00:47:57,031
BEN: Hey!

843
00:47:57,041 --> 00:47:58,202
Hey!

844
00:47:58,209 --> 00:47:59,325
(BEN LAUGHING)

845
00:47:59,335 --> 00:48:00,951
- Hi!
- Hi! Oh.

846
00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:02,702
(SOBBING)
I missed you.

847
00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:06,794
I missed you so much.
I missed you both so much.

848
00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:08,591
- (SOBBING CONTINUES)
- Dad?

849
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:11,257
Dad, pull yourself
together.

850
00:48:12,264 --> 00:48:14,051
Dad, get off of me!

851
00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:18,970
You guys both look terrific.
Show us your bunks.

852
00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,601
Yeah, I wanna see
your bunks, too.

853
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:24,266
Hey, did you guys get your favorite
room at the lodge, the Acorn Cabin?

854
00:48:24,276 --> 00:48:25,687
Yeah. Yeah, we did.

855
00:48:26,153 --> 00:48:27,564
(RASPING)
Yeah, we got the Acorn Cabin.

856
00:48:27,571 --> 00:48:28,652
Good morning,
Uncle Josh.

857
00:48:28,656 --> 00:48:29,656
Gentlemen.

858
00:48:57,726 --> 00:48:59,809
- (ALL GRUNTING)
- Children!

859
00:48:59,812 --> 00:49:01,553
ERIN: I'm pulling
as hard as I can.

860
00:49:01,564 --> 00:49:02,975
- Pull!
- Ahh!

861
00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:05,644
(SCREAMING)

862
00:49:05,651 --> 00:49:07,483
(LAUGHING)

863
00:49:15,744 --> 00:49:17,280
God, I hate
lying to 'em.

864
00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:20,409
Me, too. We're not
even good at it.

865
00:49:20,416 --> 00:49:22,829
Even if we were good
at it, they'd still know.

866
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,399
What is that?

867
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:49,643
(LISPING)
What's what?

868
00:49:49,653 --> 00:49:51,110
The thing you just
put in your mouth.

869
00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:52,979
Oh. It's my bite plate.

870
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:54,071
Bite plate?

871
00:49:54,074 --> 00:49:56,031
Yeah, it's my
bite plate.

872
00:49:56,285 --> 00:49:57,901
Why do you have
a bite plate?

873
00:49:57,912 --> 00:49:59,278
For my bite.

874
00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:01,613
What's wrong
with your bite?

875
00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:04,407
It's askew.

876
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:05,534
Askew.

877
00:50:05,544 --> 00:50:07,456
Yes, it's askew.

878
00:50:07,463 --> 00:50:10,956
So this would be
an attempt to "de-skew" it?

879
00:50:11,258 --> 00:50:13,375
- Yes.
- Huh.

880
00:50:13,385 --> 00:50:14,796
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

881
00:50:16,514 --> 00:50:17,595
You order
room service?

882
00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:18,679
No.

883
00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:25,888
- Erin.
- Erin?

884
00:50:25,898 --> 00:50:28,481
- Honey, what's the matter?
- Nothing. I'm okay.

885
00:50:28,484 --> 00:50:30,020
Honey,
are you okay?

886
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:32,144
Yeah, I'm okay.
I'm fine.

887
00:50:32,154 --> 00:50:35,113
I just couldn't sleep,
so I snuck out after lights out.

888
00:50:35,824 --> 00:50:38,316
I know I just really
wanted to sleep with you guys.

889
00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:44,664
It's okay, sweetheart. I'll call the camp
and let them know you're here.

890
00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:45,874
Okay.

891
00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:51,796
Why is the bed made
up on the couch?

892
00:50:52,466 --> 00:50:55,459
Oh, honey, Daddy was just
doing a little reading

893
00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:57,711
and I didn't want
to wake Mommy up.

894
00:51:30,379 --> 00:51:33,247
BEN: <i>Sometimes you just
can't climb out of the abyss.</i>

895
00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:36,674
<i>I kept thinking of last summer,
when Katie and I still hoped</i>

896
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:39,670
<i>that if we could just put ourselves
in some idyllic setting,</i>

897
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,594
<i>that we could somehow get rid of all the
tension, and jump-start our marriage</i>

898
00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:47,515
<i>and maybe rediscover why we fell
in love in the first place.</i>

899
00:51:47,521 --> 00:51:50,104
<i>So last year,
after Parents' Weekend,</i>

900
00:51:50,107 --> 00:51:53,020
<i>we thought that, maybe,
in a small trattoria in Venice,</i>

901
00:51:53,027 --> 00:51:56,270
<i>looking out at a beautiful sunset
next to a bottle of Chianti,</i>

902
00:51:56,614 --> 00:51:59,402
<i>we just might find
a set ofjumper cables.</i>

903
00:52:01,201 --> 00:52:03,238
How you doing?
Two Italian ices, please.

904
00:52:03,245 --> 00:52:04,361
(AGREES IN ITALIAN)

905
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:08,160
Honey, you don't have to say "Italian."
We're here. They know.

906
00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:10,041
So, what're you saying?
That if I'm in Belgium

907
00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:12,582
and I order a Belgian Waffle,
I just say "waffle"?

908
00:52:12,588 --> 00:52:14,705
Yes, just like
if you were in Ireland

909
00:52:14,715 --> 00:52:17,708
and you wanted a bowl of Irish stew,
you'd just say "stew."

910
00:52:17,885 --> 00:52:20,252
Well, you know, if you're in China
and you want some Chinese food,

911
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:22,049
you just say, "Hey,
bring on the food."

912
00:52:22,056 --> 00:52:23,388
(LAUGHING)

913
00:52:23,390 --> 00:52:26,883
We couldn't help but overhear
your delightful repartee.

914
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:29,682
We're the Kirbys from Cleveland.
And you are?

915
00:52:29,688 --> 00:52:31,475
- The Mansons.
- From Spahn Ranch.

916
00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:33,394
- Ah!
- (STAMMERING) That...

917
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,063
(BOTH LAUGHING)

918
00:52:36,070 --> 00:52:37,402
That's a good one.

919
00:52:37,404 --> 00:52:40,397
(HOOTING UPROARIOUSLY)

920
00:52:53,253 --> 00:52:55,415
Look, sweetie, right there,
the red cape.

921
00:52:55,422 --> 00:52:56,913
- Oh, I like that.
- Yeah.

922
00:52:56,924 --> 00:52:58,790
(BOTH GREETING IN ITALIAN)

923
00:52:58,801 --> 00:53:00,337
(LAUGHING)

924
00:53:00,344 --> 00:53:04,679
Hey! It's you...
People.

925
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:06,423
Yeah, the Kirbys
from Cleveland.

926
00:53:06,433 --> 00:53:07,594
Joanie and Eddie.

927
00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:09,843
- (EXCLAIMING)
- Sure, sure. How could we forget?

928
00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:11,936
We haven't stopped
talking about you.

929
00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:14,932
Well, this is like fate.
We have to get together, break bread.

930
00:53:14,942 --> 00:53:16,103
- Oh, definitely.
- Sounds great.

931
00:53:16,110 --> 00:53:18,022
We're at
the Hotel Pastafagiol.

932
00:53:19,196 --> 00:53:21,654
Uh, why don't you call us?
We're at the Europa Regina.

933
00:53:21,657 --> 00:53:23,740
- Great, great.
- Great, great. We'll call you.

934
00:53:23,742 --> 00:53:25,608
- Okay, great.
- Right on.

935
00:53:28,163 --> 00:53:29,620
- Wow. Look at this.
- This is beautiful.

936
00:53:29,623 --> 00:53:30,784
Yes, please.
This way.

937
00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,077
Oh, thank you.

938
00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:35,202
Canal-side seating.
Very nice.

939
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,669
(THANKS IN ITALIAN)

940
00:53:37,256 --> 00:53:39,043
EDDIE: Oh, my God!

941
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:40,415
(BOTH LAUGHING)

942
00:53:40,426 --> 00:53:41,962
Meant to be.

943
00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:44,965
Kismet, kismet!

944
00:53:44,972 --> 00:53:49,182
You know, we went looking for your hotel,
but we couldn't find it anywhere.

945
00:53:49,184 --> 00:53:50,800
Yeah, it's pretty
hard to find.

946
00:53:50,811 --> 00:53:52,677
Well, all's well
that ends well.

947
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:54,429
(LAUGHING)

948
00:53:55,315 --> 00:53:58,808
I tell ya, it was just like fate,
the first time I met Joanie.

949
00:53:58,819 --> 00:54:00,685
I was working at Prudential
on the sixth floor,

950
00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:02,938
and Eddie was working
at Allied Mutual on the fourth floor.

951
00:54:02,948 --> 00:54:05,156
- Hand to God.
- And every day in the cafeteria,

952
00:54:05,159 --> 00:54:06,275
which was on
the third floor...

953
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:08,304
EDDIE: I would see Joanie in the salad bar line,
JOANIE: Right.

954
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:12,993
and she would smile at me.
Not just a smile. I mean, a really big smile.

955
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:16,493
And then, one day I was at the salad bar
at Beefsteak Charlie's,

956
00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:18,916
and I thought I saw her
in that salad bar line.

957
00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:20,038
But it wasn't me.

958
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:21,414
It wasn't Joanie!

959
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:24,918
Wow. What are the odds of another
person in a salad bar line

960
00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:28,217
looking so much like Joanie,
and yet not actually being Joanie?

961
00:54:28,223 --> 00:54:29,304
(BOTH SCOFF)

962
00:54:29,308 --> 00:54:31,721
What, like,
a trillion to one, huh?

963
00:54:31,727 --> 00:54:33,593
Could be higher
than that, Eddie.

964
00:54:33,604 --> 00:54:35,971
Well, anyway,
when I realized it wasn't Joanie,

965
00:54:35,981 --> 00:54:37,517
I was so disappointed.

966
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:39,356
- Oh!
- And then I began to think

967
00:54:39,359 --> 00:54:42,147
about how much
I'd hoped that it was Joanie.

968
00:54:42,154 --> 00:54:44,646
But, at this point in the story,
you still hadn't met.

969
00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:45,737
EDDIE: No.

970
00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:49,906
And I couldn't get over how much I
wanted this person to be Joanie.

971
00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:52,825
And I think that
was the defining moment,

972
00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:56,040
because I went back to my wife there
at the table at Beefsteak Charlie's,

973
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:59,081
and I realized that
I felt more alive

974
00:54:59,087 --> 00:55:01,545
thinking about that stranger
that I thought was Joanie,

975
00:55:01,548 --> 00:55:04,006
than I did sitting with this
stranger who was my wife.

976
00:55:04,009 --> 00:55:07,343
Well, we were both in marriages
that we had completely outgrown.

977
00:55:07,346 --> 00:55:09,759
Yeah, and you know,
maybe I didn't want to admit it,

978
00:55:09,765 --> 00:55:14,226
but maybe I didn't like myself enough
to be with someone who liked me.

979
00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:17,266
Can you imagine anybody
not liking Eddie Kirby?

980
00:55:17,272 --> 00:55:18,979
Oh, I'm not
so perfect.

981
00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:21,440
Oh, beg to differ.

982
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:26,563
Anyway, that year, we both mustered up
enough courage to leave our marriages.

983
00:55:26,573 --> 00:55:28,439
So at this point
you had met.

984
00:55:28,450 --> 00:55:29,736
No.

985
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:31,450
- Still hadn't met?
- No.

986
00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:35,663
But you know, after you've had
such a horrible marriage,

987
00:55:35,666 --> 00:55:38,158
you don't want to make
the same mistakes twice.

988
00:55:38,168 --> 00:55:40,501
So, I made an inner
pact with myself.

989
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:42,541
I said, "Eddie Kirby,

990
00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:45,791
"you will never,
ever let the anger build up to the point

991
00:55:45,801 --> 00:55:47,212
"where you just don't
like your partner."

992
00:55:47,219 --> 00:55:48,335
I made the same pact.

993
00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:50,007
And that became
our credo.

994
00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:52,505
BOTH: "Never go
to bed angry."

995
00:55:53,183 --> 00:55:55,641
So now we talk
everything through.

996
00:55:55,644 --> 00:55:59,012
We won't let even the tiniest
pea be under our mattress.

997
00:55:59,690 --> 00:56:01,852
EDDIE: That's why
we never eat in bed.

998
00:56:02,025 --> 00:56:05,189
(JOANIE HOOTING WITH LAUGHTER)

999
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:06,982
Me, too.

1000
00:56:10,742 --> 00:56:14,531
BEN: <i>Who would've thought that the Kirbys,
the happiest couple never to have met,</i>

1001
00:56:14,538 --> 00:56:17,747
<i>would turn out to be the greatest
aphrodisiac known to man?</i>

1002
00:56:18,166 --> 00:56:20,203
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1003
00:56:43,901 --> 00:56:46,735
<i>If only there was a way to bottle
that unfettered state of mind</i>

1004
00:56:46,737 --> 00:56:48,774
<i>that comes with being
on foreign soil.</i>

1005
00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:55,194
<i>To just hold on to it,
even for a day, an evening, an hour.</i>

1006
00:56:56,121 --> 00:57:00,661
<i>Last year, when we got back from Italy,
God knows we gave it a try.</i>

1007
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:10,420
(SIGHS)

1008
00:57:16,391 --> 00:57:18,223
Hey, look at this.

1009
00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:22,140
While we were away, we got a special
message from his holiness, the Dalai Lama.

1010
00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:26,399
It's something about a softball
team he's trying to get started.

1011
00:57:26,401 --> 00:57:27,642
(GIGGLES)

1012
00:57:27,986 --> 00:57:30,979
Hey, wanna write a letter to the kids
together, let them know we're back?

1013
00:57:31,156 --> 00:57:32,363
Sure.

1014
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:41,990
"Dear Josh and Erin."

1015
00:57:42,709 --> 00:57:44,951
Oh, sure. You get
the easy part.

1016
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:50,214
"We're

1017
00:57:51,510 --> 00:57:52,796
"back."

1018
00:57:56,098 --> 00:57:57,179
"From

1019
00:57:58,475 --> 00:57:59,761
"Europe."

1020
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:03,478
That's not a sentence.
It's a preposition and a continent.

1021
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,688
No, I crossed out your period
and made a sentence.

1022
00:58:05,983 --> 00:58:09,021
See? "We're back from Europe."
Your turn.

1023
00:58:09,027 --> 00:58:10,609
Thank you.

1024
00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:15,440
Exclamation point, comma,
closed parenthesis.

1025
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:17,487
"But I

1026
00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:20,153
"don't want to talk

1027
00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:22,496
"about grammar."

1028
00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:24,324
Colon.

1029
00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:28,954
"I want to make love

1030
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:32,707
"to your mother."

1031
00:58:34,219 --> 00:58:36,211
No, you didn't
write that.

1032
00:58:37,472 --> 00:58:39,259
- (LAUGHS)
- Ben!

1033
00:58:39,266 --> 00:58:41,679
What? I do.
I want to.

1034
00:58:42,227 --> 00:58:43,513
After we finish
the letter.

1035
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:46,183
No, no, no. Let's
make love right now.

1036
00:58:46,189 --> 00:58:48,476
We make love now.
Then we write the letter.

1037
00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:52,022
Come on. We only had
a couple of sentences to go.

1038
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:54,772
In Europe,
you would've made love first.

1039
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:57,485
What's that
supposed to mean?

1040
00:58:57,492 --> 00:58:58,492
Nothing.

1041
00:58:58,702 --> 00:59:00,785
That I'm not
spontaneous?

1042
00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:01,868
I'm not saying that.

1043
00:59:01,872 --> 00:59:03,408
No, but that's what
you were implying.

1044
00:59:03,415 --> 00:59:06,227
- I wasn't implying anything.
- That in Europe, I would've made love, but here...

1045
00:59:06,251 --> 00:59:10,040
No, no, look. I just don't want us
to get to the point where we can't make love

1046
00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:12,164
unless there's
a concierge downstairs.

1047
00:59:12,174 --> 00:59:14,882
Just because I wanted
to take three minutes

1048
00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:17,002
to finish a letter
to our children,

1049
00:59:17,012 --> 00:59:18,548
- who I haven't seen in...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1050
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:21,423
What is that supposed to mean?
That I don't care about our children?

1051
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:24,801
If you'd just let me finish the letter,
I could be more spontaneous.

1052
00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:27,975
That's not spontaneous.
That's called making an appointment.

1053
00:59:27,981 --> 00:59:32,021
I was in the mood for some unscheduled affection,
but, ooh, I'm sorry, we're home,

1054
00:59:32,027 --> 00:59:35,441
I forgot, everything's
gotta be on a schedule.

1055
00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:39,820
You try raising children where
everything's unscheduled,

1056
00:59:39,826 --> 00:59:41,943
when everything
is spontaneous!

1057
00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:43,319
You know what, Katie?

1058
00:59:43,330 --> 00:59:45,447
The kids need a little
spontaneity, too!

1059
00:59:45,916 --> 00:59:47,498
I know that!

1060
00:59:47,793 --> 00:59:50,001
I am just sick and tired
of always having to be

1061
00:59:50,003 --> 00:59:51,960
the designated driver
of this marriage.

1062
00:59:51,963 --> 00:59:55,206
Hey, nobody designated you as anything.
It's a role you gave yourself!

1063
00:59:55,383 --> 00:59:57,796
Bullshit!
You gave me that role!

1064
00:59:57,803 --> 01:00:02,138
Because God forbid Ben should ever
remember to cancel the newspapers,

1065
01:00:02,140 --> 01:00:04,177
or put washer
fluid in his car,

1066
01:00:04,184 --> 01:00:07,302
or participate
in disciplining his children,

1067
01:00:07,312 --> 01:00:10,476
instead of flirting on the phone
with your goddamn girlfriend!

1068
01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:12,940
Jesus Christ. You're not gonna
bring that up again, are ya?

1069
01:00:12,943 --> 01:00:14,980
You're damn straight
I'm gonna bring it up again.

1070
01:00:14,986 --> 01:00:17,103
I haven't spoken to her
in over six months!

1071
01:00:17,114 --> 01:00:19,822
Not for one second
have you seen it through my eyes!

1072
01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:20,986
You know what, Katie,
you know what?

1073
01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:22,108
We don't have a pea
under our mattress.

1074
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:24,486
You know what we have?
A fuckin' watermelon!

1075
01:00:24,496 --> 01:00:26,988
And you never want
to deal with it!

1076
01:00:26,998 --> 01:00:28,330
Oh, fuck it!

1077
01:00:29,251 --> 01:00:30,458
Jesus!

1078
01:00:31,336 --> 01:00:32,543
(DOOR SLAMS)

1079
01:00:32,546 --> 01:00:33,662
(GASPS)

1080
01:00:38,385 --> 01:00:40,001
Welcome home.

1081
01:00:47,936 --> 01:00:49,017
Bye, Dad.

1082
01:00:49,020 --> 01:00:50,227
See ya, man.
Way to hit the ball.

1083
01:00:50,230 --> 01:00:51,311
- Thanks.
- All right.

1084
01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:52,771
I love you.

1085
01:00:53,108 --> 01:00:54,690
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, buddy.

1086
01:00:56,528 --> 01:00:58,144
- I love you.
- Love you.

1087
01:00:59,531 --> 01:01:00,692
- See you guys in a month.
- Good. Bye.

1088
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:01,906
JOSH: Okay.

1089
01:01:06,079 --> 01:01:07,991
Bye-bye.

1090
01:01:07,998 --> 01:01:09,990
- Bye, you guys.
- Not too many marshmallows.

1091
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,866
- Bye, Daddy.
- Just a couple of weeks.

1092
01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:12,993
Watch your toes.

1093
01:01:13,003 --> 01:01:14,084
See ya.

1094
01:01:14,087 --> 01:01:15,168
BEN: Okay. Bye, kids.

1095
01:01:15,172 --> 01:01:16,333
Bye!

1096
01:01:31,563 --> 01:01:34,271
You think we should
get one lawyer or two?

1097
01:01:38,445 --> 01:01:39,561
One.

1098
01:01:41,323 --> 01:01:43,940
Maybe we can at least
make this part...

1099
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:46,780
(SIGHS)

1100
01:01:46,786 --> 01:01:50,905
All I care about is that we make it
as easy for the kids as possible.

1101
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,116
Yeah.

1102
01:01:55,587 --> 01:01:57,829
WOMAN: And I'm sure you
noticed that the bathroom

1103
01:01:57,839 --> 01:02:00,331
still has the original
tiling from the '20s.

1104
01:02:00,342 --> 01:02:01,458
Yeah, it's nice.

1105
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:05,838
You know, since you're a writer,
I know you would appreciate that the sister

1106
01:02:05,847 --> 01:02:10,387
of Bette Davis' chauffeur once had Thanksgiving
in the apartment next door.

1107
01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:13,552
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

1108
01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:15,479
Are there any other
kids in this building?

1109
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:16,598
Oh, oodles.

1110
01:02:16,608 --> 01:02:20,602
Including, if I might add,
the nephew of the actor

1111
01:02:20,612 --> 01:02:24,196
who jumped third
into the fourth lifeboat on <i>Titanic.</i>

1112
01:02:24,199 --> 01:02:27,158
Rent the film, you'll
see, I'll introduce you.

1113
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:30,119
You know, I am showing it
to another family this afternoon,

1114
01:02:30,121 --> 01:02:31,407
but if you're
interested,

1115
01:02:31,414 --> 01:02:34,657
I can hold it for you, give your wife
a chance to have a little look-see...

1116
01:02:34,668 --> 01:02:35,784
I'm interested.

1117
01:02:35,794 --> 01:02:36,955
Who wouldn't be?

1118
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:39,875
Look how the light from
that window fills the room.

1119
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:43,170
You know,
when I showed this very apartment to the man

1120
01:02:43,176 --> 01:02:45,418
who did the voice
of Charlie the Tuna,

1121
01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:49,138
he said, and I quote,
"Wow." Unquote.

1122
01:02:49,557 --> 01:02:51,298
I think that
says it all.

1123
01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:57,313
First, you put olive oil,
garlic and tofu.

1124
01:02:57,983 --> 01:03:00,441
Sauté until garlic
turn light brown.

1125
01:03:00,860 --> 01:03:04,570
Make sure that your wok have
a strong heat underneath it.

1126
01:03:04,572 --> 01:03:07,485
Now take an egg
and crack it to the hot oil.

1127
01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:09,658
(SIZZLING)

1128
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:13,371
Make sure all the ingredients
are cooked thoroughly.

1129
01:03:13,373 --> 01:03:14,489
(SCREAMS)

1130
01:03:14,499 --> 01:03:16,161
Oh! Are you okay?

1131
01:03:16,167 --> 01:03:17,954
Yeah, I'm... I'm fine.

1132
01:03:17,961 --> 01:03:19,077
(GIGGLING)

1133
01:03:19,087 --> 01:03:21,329
CHEF: Now we add
some Pad Thai noodle.

1134
01:03:21,339 --> 01:03:22,625
(CLEARS THROAT)

1135
01:03:23,174 --> 01:03:27,214
I saw Deirdre up at Parents' Weekend,
but I didn't see you.

1136
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:29,428
Oh, I went up
the weekend before.

1137
01:03:29,431 --> 01:03:33,050
Since the divorce,
it's a lot easier for everyone

1138
01:03:33,059 --> 01:03:35,221
if we come up
at separate times.

1139
01:03:35,687 --> 01:03:38,930
But Kevin and I took
a great hike up to that waterfall.

1140
01:03:38,940 --> 01:03:40,306
Did you and Ben
take that hike?

1141
01:03:40,317 --> 01:03:41,603
Yeah.

1142
01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:42,770
Yeah, it was beautiful.

1143
01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:44,018
Yeah.

1144
01:03:44,029 --> 01:03:46,237
CHEF: Spice it up
with some chili pepper.

1145
01:03:46,531 --> 01:03:49,319
You know, spicy food
make a better lover.

1146
01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:52,068
The hotter you eat,
the hotter you get.

1147
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:53,364
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

1148
01:03:53,371 --> 01:03:56,034
Well, the spicier the better for me.
Whoo!

1149
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:58,665
CHEF: Rice vinegar.

1150
01:03:59,210 --> 01:04:00,826
(LAUGHING) Whoa!

1151
01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:01,953
(WHOOPS)

1152
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:03,920
Does Ben like
Thai food?

1153
01:04:04,549 --> 01:04:05,915
Yeah. Yeah.

1154
01:04:07,052 --> 01:04:08,588
Have you and Ben
ever been to Tommy Tang's?

1155
01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:11,804
Uh, Ben and I are...
Uh... Separated.

1156
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:14,924
Oh, gee,
I had no idea.

1157
01:04:14,934 --> 01:04:17,551
We're... We're not
really telling people.

1158
01:04:18,021 --> 01:04:19,637
Oh. I understand.

1159
01:04:20,357 --> 01:04:22,269
I'm so sorry.
How long?

1160
01:04:22,734 --> 01:04:27,479
Uh, 72 hours,
four weeks, five years,

1161
01:04:27,906 --> 01:04:30,364
depending on when
you start counting.

1162
01:04:30,367 --> 01:04:33,201
I'm really sorry.
I know how hard it can be.

1163
01:04:36,664 --> 01:04:40,123
You know, this is gonna
sound crazy, but, um,

1164
01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:43,085
I always enjoyed Erin and Josh's
appointments over the years

1165
01:04:43,088 --> 01:04:45,705
because it gave me
a chance to get to know you,

1166
01:04:45,715 --> 01:04:49,174
but when you called me about your bite,
I...

1167
01:04:49,677 --> 01:04:53,091
I felt myself looking forward
to it because I knew we'd be alone.

1168
01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:57,137
And, um, just tell me
if it's too soon,

1169
01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:01,229
but I was wondering if maybe
you want to have dinner sometime.

1170
01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:04,898
We are having dinner.

1171
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:06,733
(LAUGHING)

1172
01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:10,480
Well, I was thinking of something
that didn't involve a teacher.

1173
01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:13,528
CHEF: Now you have it.
Pad Thai noodles.

1174
01:05:14,452 --> 01:05:16,489
KATIE: <i>You always
hear people say,</i>

1175
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:19,079
<i>"They stayed together too
long in a bad marriage."</i>

1176
01:05:19,082 --> 01:05:23,076
<i>Well, for the longest time,
I never thought of my marriage as being bad.</i>

1177
01:05:23,086 --> 01:05:26,454
<i>I just thought love was something you
were allowed to fall in and out of.</i>

1178
01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:28,626
<i>You know,
peaks and valleys.</i>

1179
01:05:29,509 --> 01:05:34,846
<i>But after a while,
the peaks get lower and further apart,</i>

1180
01:05:34,848 --> 01:05:39,013
<i>and then one day you find yourself wondering,
"Is this who I really am,</i>

1181
01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:42,682
<i>"someone who has taken up
permanent residence in the valley?</i>

1182
01:05:42,689 --> 01:05:45,898
<i>"Or is this just who
I am with this person?"</i>

1183
01:05:47,735 --> 01:05:50,523
<i>And then you ask yourself,</i>

1184
01:05:50,530 --> 01:05:54,274
<i>"Maybe there is another version
of my life, of myself,</i>

1185
01:05:54,284 --> 01:05:56,276
<i>"that's a happier one."</i>

1186
01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:57,572
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1187
01:06:13,928 --> 01:06:15,214
Bullshit.

1188
01:06:17,140 --> 01:06:20,053
"Yossel looked
into Minnie's eyes and felt...

1189
01:06:21,895 --> 01:06:23,181
"Nothing.

1190
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:27,432
"For two years
they'd been apart.

1191
01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:31,185
"And now,
as she stepped off the boat,

1192
01:06:31,529 --> 01:06:34,647
"he realized he was looking
into the eyes of a...

1193
01:06:36,075 --> 01:06:37,862
"Stranger.

1194
01:06:39,662 --> 01:06:41,699
"A girl he no
longer knew."

1195
01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:45,874
(READING ALOUD)

1196
01:06:54,761 --> 01:06:58,254
"...unaffectionate
daughter

1197
01:06:58,723 --> 01:07:03,718
"of a blind Lithuanian
violin maker."

1198
01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:07,976
No, no, it's fear.
It was all about fear.

1199
01:07:07,982 --> 01:07:09,598
Fear is what
kept them together.

1200
01:07:09,609 --> 01:07:12,818
This whole time, Stan, I've been
idealizing my grandparents' marriage,

1201
01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:15,813
and let me tell you,
this was not the love of the ages.

1202
01:07:15,823 --> 01:07:19,191
Two people who stayed together
because they were terrified.

1203
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:22,616
Fear of loneliness, fear of failure,
fear of the unknown.

1204
01:07:22,622 --> 01:07:25,990
Sure, fear.
That's the main motivator for everything.

1205
01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:30,120
That, and guilt, are the two emotions
that keep a society humming.

1206
01:07:30,129 --> 01:07:32,712
What are you saying, you and Rachel
stay together because you're afraid?

1207
01:07:32,715 --> 01:07:34,752
- In a word, yes.
- And you're okay with that?

1208
01:07:34,759 --> 01:07:36,842
In three words,
yes and no.

1209
01:07:37,512 --> 01:07:39,504
See, it's not
that simple.

1210
01:07:39,764 --> 01:07:41,676
You're looking for
clear-cut answers.

1211
01:07:41,683 --> 01:07:45,302
In reality, there is nothing clear-cut.
Life is not clear-cut.

1212
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,052
Life is gray.

1213
01:07:47,522 --> 01:07:49,058
For instance...

1214
01:07:50,650 --> 01:07:52,767
What do you see
right here?

1215
01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:55,853
What are you
asking me, Stan?

1216
01:07:55,863 --> 01:07:57,946
I'm asking you,
what do you see?

1217
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,531
I see your ass.

1218
01:07:59,909 --> 01:08:04,119
That's what you think you see.
But in reality, there is no ass.

1219
01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:08,866
What the... What
are you telling me?

1220
01:08:08,876 --> 01:08:10,492
There is no ass.

1221
01:08:10,712 --> 01:08:13,671
Just the fatty part
at the top of each leg

1222
01:08:13,965 --> 01:08:16,548
that just so happens to be
butted up against each other.

1223
01:08:16,551 --> 01:08:18,383
Hence the word "butt."

1224
01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:21,629
See, essentially,
what we're dealing with here

1225
01:08:21,639 --> 01:08:24,177
is just a continuation
of the leg.

1226
01:08:24,183 --> 01:08:26,550
Okay, all right,
now you lost me.

1227
01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:29,060
Ben, it's all
illusions.

1228
01:08:29,063 --> 01:08:31,055
There is no such
thing as an ass,

1229
01:08:31,065 --> 01:08:33,808
just like there's no such thing
as the perfect marriage,

1230
01:08:33,818 --> 01:08:35,559
the perfect job,
the perfect child.

1231
01:08:35,570 --> 01:08:37,106
The whole notion

1232
01:08:37,113 --> 01:08:40,106
of staying together
and living happily ever after,

1233
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:41,698
all illusions.

1234
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:43,738
So you're saying
you don't believe in everlasting love.

1235
01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,611
(EXCLAIMS IN
DISAGREEMENT)

1236
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:49,161
You're seeing the ass again,
and not the tops of the legs.

1237
01:08:50,460 --> 01:08:53,578
Love is just
lust in disguise,

1238
01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:57,919
and lust fades, so you damn well better
be with someone who can stand you.

1239
01:08:57,925 --> 01:09:01,919
Well, Katie and I have moved way
past being able to stand each other.

1240
01:09:01,929 --> 01:09:04,262
We've moved right
into the hatred part.

1241
01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:06,848
I wouldn't worry about it.
Hate fades.

1242
01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:09,555
Hate fades?

1243
01:09:12,106 --> 01:09:14,314
That's what you're telling me?
That's your message?

1244
01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,434
That's what you're gonna send me out
into the world with?

1245
01:09:16,444 --> 01:09:19,858
"Hate fades"? "Love is lust"?
"There is no ass"?

1246
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:24,233
What a disappointment
you've turned out to be.

1247
01:09:25,036 --> 01:09:26,277
(SIGHS)

1248
01:09:27,121 --> 01:09:29,113
Just promise
me one thing.

1249
01:09:29,123 --> 01:09:33,163
Please, please, just promise me
that you will not say any of this to Rachel.

1250
01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:35,752
What, are you crazy?
This conversation ends here.

1251
01:09:36,339 --> 01:09:39,252
When Stan called me from the car,
I couldn't believe it.

1252
01:09:39,258 --> 01:09:41,500
I mean, I knew you guys were going
through some rough times, but...

1253
01:09:41,511 --> 01:09:44,591
We didn't wanna say anything until
we knew we weren't gonna get back together.

1254
01:09:44,764 --> 01:09:46,175
Oh, my God.

1255
01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:48,014
Wow.

1256
01:09:49,143 --> 01:09:50,224
Well, how
are you doing?

1257
01:09:50,228 --> 01:09:51,389
I don't know.

1258
01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:53,103
I thought I'd
be devastated.

1259
01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:55,606
Maybe it just
hasn't hit me.

1260
01:09:58,194 --> 01:09:59,901
You're having
an affair.

1261
01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:02,021
What are you...
What are you talking about?

1262
01:10:02,031 --> 01:10:04,899
The only reason not to be devastated is
if you're seeing someone else.

1263
01:10:04,909 --> 01:10:06,866
I am not seeing
someone else.

1264
01:10:06,869 --> 01:10:09,077
Are you serious about this guy
you're not seeing?

1265
01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:11,697
I don't know what it is.
All I know is, he's nothing like Ben.

1266
01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:14,917
He's responsible. He plans ahead.
He has a Swiss Army Knife.

1267
01:10:14,919 --> 01:10:16,706
He even wants to
cook dinner for me.

1268
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:17,794
He's a sandbag.

1269
01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:18,878
He's a what?

1270
01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:20,668
He's just a sandbag
against the storm,

1271
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:23,383
holding off
the inevitable devastation.

1272
01:10:23,386 --> 01:10:25,343
(SOBBING)

1273
01:10:26,848 --> 01:10:28,555
Rachel,
are you okay?

1274
01:10:28,558 --> 01:10:30,345
(WEEPING)

1275
01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:32,635
Honey?

1276
01:10:35,022 --> 01:10:36,388
I'm sorry.

1277
01:10:37,942 --> 01:10:41,231
I know I'm supposed to be
the one holding your hand,

1278
01:10:41,612 --> 01:10:43,649
but I just
feel terrible.

1279
01:10:44,282 --> 01:10:46,740
I mean, the thought
of you guys not being together.

1280
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:49,155
You're our
best friends.

1281
01:10:50,037 --> 01:10:53,246
Fourth of Julys and Thanksgivings
and Christmases.

1282
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:57,080
You guys were
our Fred and Ethel Mertz.

1283
01:10:57,587 --> 01:11:00,455
That's weird. We thought you guys were
our Fred and Ethel Mertz.

1284
01:11:00,465 --> 01:11:01,706
(SNIFFLING)

1285
01:11:01,716 --> 01:11:03,173
Oh, really?

1286
01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:07,136
I never thought this was going
to happen to me and Ben.

1287
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:10,885
I thought we were going to be
the ones to go the distance.

1288
01:11:11,350 --> 01:11:15,936
But I just couldn't seem to get him
to put down that purple crayon.

1289
01:11:17,148 --> 01:11:18,764
But that's Ben.

1290
01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:21,233
That's who you
fell in love with.

1291
01:11:21,235 --> 01:11:23,852
Katie, you are at 80
who you are at eight.

1292
01:11:24,447 --> 01:11:26,564
People don't change!

1293
01:11:27,408 --> 01:11:30,742
RACHEL: People change over time.
You've got to expect that.

1294
01:11:30,745 --> 01:11:33,158
Ben, the only way
a relationship works

1295
01:11:33,164 --> 01:11:35,781
is if people grow
and change together.

1296
01:11:36,667 --> 01:11:38,954
Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Kogen.
Mr. Jordan.

1297
01:11:39,128 --> 01:11:40,414
Nice to have
you tonight.

1298
01:11:40,421 --> 01:11:43,255
Is Mrs. Jordan not
joining us this evening?

1299
01:11:43,633 --> 01:11:45,090
No, she's not.

1300
01:11:45,092 --> 01:11:47,425
Stan! I told you to
make the reservation for three!

1301
01:11:47,428 --> 01:11:48,589
I forgot.

1302
01:11:48,596 --> 01:11:50,303
How could you forget
something like that?

1303
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:51,592
Why don't you say
it a little louder?

1304
01:11:51,599 --> 01:11:53,090
The guy in the parking lot
didn't hear you.

1305
01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:54,932
It wasn't
that loud.

1306
01:11:54,936 --> 01:11:56,052
HOSTESS:
Right this way.

1307
01:11:56,062 --> 01:11:57,644
Enjoy your meal.

1308
01:12:01,609 --> 01:12:03,601
Did you see Sunday's
seven-down?

1309
01:12:03,611 --> 01:12:04,943
No, I missed
that one.

1310
01:12:04,946 --> 01:12:06,107
Five-letter word.

1311
01:12:06,489 --> 01:12:10,574
Wants. Requirements.
Rhymes with "weeds."

1312
01:12:11,327 --> 01:12:12,943
- Needs?
- Exactly.

1313
01:12:13,704 --> 01:12:15,491
It was a direct
attack on me.

1314
01:12:15,498 --> 01:12:19,458
Oh, Ben, come on. You're being silly.
It's just a clue in a crossword puzzle.

1315
01:12:19,460 --> 01:12:21,326
No. I know my wife.

1316
01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:24,209
She was specifically
attacking me.

1317
01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:26,126
And for what?

1318
01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:27,667
Having needs.

1319
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,753
Like having needs
is some terrible thing.

1320
01:12:31,305 --> 01:12:34,048
Show me one person on this planet
who doesn't have needs.

1321
01:12:36,811 --> 01:12:38,723
Ben, you should
try this bread

1322
01:12:38,729 --> 01:12:40,140
dipped in the olive oil.
It's delicious.

1323
01:12:40,147 --> 01:12:41,854
Stan, give Ben
the bread.

1324
01:12:41,858 --> 01:12:43,269
Why must you
always yell?

1325
01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:44,517
- Who was yelling?
- You were.

1326
01:12:44,527 --> 01:12:45,813
- That was not a yell.
- That was a yell.

1327
01:12:45,820 --> 01:12:47,982
You just heard it as a yell.
He hears everything as a yell.

1328
01:12:47,989 --> 01:12:50,606
Trust me. On anyone's yell-o-meter,
that was a yell.

1329
01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:53,700
Ben, was that a yell?
See, he didn't hear it as a yell.

1330
01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:55,660
His mother was a yeller.
He's still hearing her.

1331
01:12:55,663 --> 01:12:58,030
How could I hear her?
You drown her out.

1332
01:12:58,040 --> 01:12:59,702
No, no, no,
but it's true.

1333
01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:02,334
For the last few years,
every time Katie opened her mouth,

1334
01:13:02,336 --> 01:13:03,918
all I could hear
was her mother.

1335
01:13:05,131 --> 01:13:06,212
Dot.

1336
01:13:07,216 --> 01:13:09,424
Now listen, it couldn't have
been easy for Katie

1337
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:11,840
to be raised by a woman
as complicated as Dot.

1338
01:13:12,221 --> 01:13:14,213
Oh, please.
She wasn't complicated.

1339
01:13:14,223 --> 01:13:17,887
She was an idiot who made
everyone else's life complicated.

1340
01:13:18,144 --> 01:13:21,808
You wouldn't believe
all the beautiful psychological heirlooms

1341
01:13:21,814 --> 01:13:23,555
this snapping turtle
handed down.

1342
01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:28,693
Everything's gotta be in a neat little box
with a little blue bow on it.

1343
01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:32,022
Punctual.
Ordered.

1344
01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:35,909
God forbid anything
unexpected should happen,

1345
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:39,326
any perchances,
happenstances,

1346
01:13:39,332 --> 01:13:42,370
left turns,
serendipities...

1347
01:13:42,585 --> 01:13:45,373
Nope! No way!
(BANGS TABLE) Not allowed!

1348
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:47,996
Out of bounds!
Foul ball!

1349
01:13:48,007 --> 01:13:49,623
Fifteen-yard penalty!

1350
01:13:49,634 --> 01:13:52,297
Too much time
being spontaneous!

1351
01:13:52,303 --> 01:13:55,421
Everything's gotta be connected.
Gotta connect the dots.

1352
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:58,048
Maybe that's why they call her Dot.
(CHUCKLES)

1353
01:13:58,059 --> 01:14:01,427
You notice that her name wasn't
Gay or Joy or Fun!

1354
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:03,206
Ben, maybe you should try
a little of the bread.

1355
01:14:03,230 --> 01:14:06,018
You can't even fuck unless
everything's just right!

1356
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,976
Like a plane
waiting for takeoff.

1357
01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:11,152
Windows shut?
Check.

1358
01:14:11,155 --> 01:14:13,772
Doors locked? Check.
Heat on? Check!

1359
01:14:13,783 --> 01:14:15,024
(CHUCKLING)

1360
01:14:15,034 --> 01:14:17,617
Have we covered every
possible, single reason

1361
01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:19,577
(BANGS TABLE)
why everything is my fault?

1362
01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:24,200
Houston, we got
a problem and her name is Dot!

1363
01:14:24,210 --> 01:14:25,291
Ben, Ben. Bread.

1364
01:14:25,294 --> 01:14:28,958
There are people like Katie and Dot,
honey, who like to color inside the lines,

1365
01:14:28,965 --> 01:14:30,422
and then there
are people like you,

1366
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:32,290
who wander
outside the lines.

1367
01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:34,167
That can be a very
endearing quality.

1368
01:14:34,178 --> 01:14:36,170
That's why Katie
fell in love with you.

1369
01:14:36,180 --> 01:14:37,699
It's just that once
you have children...

1370
01:14:37,723 --> 01:14:39,965
- I am not a third child.
- No one's saying you are.

1371
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:42,559
Excuse me if my watch
occasionally has no hands on it.

1372
01:14:42,561 --> 01:14:43,722
Ben, that's fine.
It's just that

1373
01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:45,891
somebody has
to establish the routines,

1374
01:14:45,898 --> 01:14:47,764
- set the limit...
- What... What are you saying?

1375
01:14:47,775 --> 01:14:48,936
Are you saying
it's all my fault?

1376
01:14:48,943 --> 01:14:50,650
- RACHEL: No, no!
- No, no, no. It's nobody's fault.

1377
01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:52,019
No, no, no, no!

1378
01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:53,565
When people say,
"It's nobody's fault,"

1379
01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:55,154
they don't mean
"it's nobody's fault."

1380
01:14:55,157 --> 01:14:56,898
They mean,
"It's your fault."

1381
01:14:56,909 --> 01:15:02,200
"Nobody's fault" things are hurricanes,
earthquakes, tornadoes, acts of God.

1382
01:15:02,707 --> 01:15:06,542
But when a marriage fails, ooh!
It's gotta be somebody's fault.

1383
01:15:06,544 --> 01:15:08,080
And it's not mine!
(BANGING TABLE)

1384
01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:10,204
- Ben...
- And you take that fucking bread

1385
01:15:10,214 --> 01:15:11,955
and you shove it up
the tops of your legs!

1386
01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:20,422
(GRUNTING)

1387
01:15:23,728 --> 01:15:26,186
(PANTING)

1388
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:53,338
(SOBBING)

1389
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,501
KATIE: <i>Maybe I'm tired.</i>

1390
01:15:57,511 --> 01:16:00,379
<i>Maybe I'm dealing
with 5,000 things all day long.</i>

1391
01:16:00,389 --> 01:16:03,348
<i>Maybe every little need you have doesn't
always have to be met</i>

1392
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:05,683
<i>at the exact moment
you need it to be met.</i>

1393
01:16:05,686 --> 01:16:07,769
<i>I am just sick and tired
of always having to be</i>

1394
01:16:07,772 --> 01:16:09,764
<i>the designated driver
of this marriage.</i>

1395
01:16:09,774 --> 01:16:12,642
BEN: <i>Nobody designated you as anything.
It's a role you gave yourself!</i>

1396
01:16:12,651 --> 01:16:15,985
KATIE: <i>Not for one second
have you seen it through my eyes!</i>

1397
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:17,399
BEN: <i>You know what,
Katie, you know what?</i>

1398
01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:18,863
<i>We don't have a pea
under our mattress.</i>

1399
01:16:18,866 --> 01:16:21,779
<i>You know what we have?
A fuckin' watermelon!</i>

1400
01:16:31,962 --> 01:16:33,328
You okay?

1401
01:16:35,216 --> 01:16:36,923
Take me to Katie's.

1402
01:16:41,055 --> 01:16:43,263
Ben. What
are you doing here?

1403
01:16:44,183 --> 01:16:46,175
I wanted to know what
your high was today.

1404
01:16:48,479 --> 01:16:50,471
Ben, you should've
called.

1405
01:16:51,065 --> 01:16:52,931
My high was about you.

1406
01:16:56,028 --> 01:16:58,645
Tonight I saw myself
through your eyes.

1407
01:17:00,783 --> 01:17:01,944
Ben.

1408
01:17:03,911 --> 01:17:05,402
And I'm sorry.

1409
01:17:05,746 --> 01:17:07,863
Yo, Katie, I was thinking
it might be a nice touch

1410
01:17:07,873 --> 01:17:10,741
to add some roasted
peanuts to the sesame...

1411
01:17:10,751 --> 01:17:12,367
I'm, uh...

1412
01:17:16,799 --> 01:17:19,337
At some point we should discuss
how to tell the children.

1413
01:17:51,834 --> 01:17:54,121
Hey, how you doing?
Come on in.

1414
01:17:55,129 --> 01:17:56,586
This is nice.

1415
01:17:56,589 --> 01:17:57,955
Oh, thanks.

1416
01:17:57,965 --> 01:18:01,299
Yeah, it's close to the park.
The kids and I can walk.

1417
01:18:01,302 --> 01:18:03,339
You want something
to drink?

1418
01:18:03,345 --> 01:18:05,587
I'll take water
if you don't have anything else.

1419
01:18:05,598 --> 01:18:08,056
No, no, I...
We have, uh,

1420
01:18:09,143 --> 01:18:11,100
pretty much
anything you want.

1421
01:18:11,103 --> 01:18:15,643
Uh... Beer, Gatorade,
fruit juice, iced tea.

1422
01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:17,599
- Iced tea is fine.
- Okay.

1423
01:18:24,867 --> 01:18:25,867
There you go.

1424
01:18:26,493 --> 01:18:28,109
You have a watch.

1425
01:18:28,662 --> 01:18:29,823
Yeah.

1426
01:18:30,539 --> 01:18:31,950
Come on in.

1427
01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:35,245
Sit down here.

1428
01:18:42,468 --> 01:18:43,584
Um...

1429
01:18:45,638 --> 01:18:47,675
I think we
should, uh...

1430
01:18:49,433 --> 01:18:51,425
When we pick
the kids up Thursday,

1431
01:18:51,435 --> 01:18:53,848
we should just
tell 'em that night.

1432
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,226
Uh... We don't have
to tell them right away.

1433
01:18:57,858 --> 01:18:58,858
Why?

1434
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:01,935
What's gonna change between
now and Thursday?

1435
01:19:02,196 --> 01:19:03,903
Well...
(SIGHS)

1436
01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:06,610
Katie, you're seeing
someone else.

1437
01:19:06,617 --> 01:19:08,483
I'm not seeing him.

1438
01:19:08,994 --> 01:19:10,656
We're just talking.

1439
01:19:12,873 --> 01:19:14,080
Right.

1440
01:19:17,461 --> 01:19:20,920
Look, I'm not gonna put up
with any more of this bullshit lying to the kids.

1441
01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:23,756
We'll just take them to Chow Fun's.
It's their favorite restaurant.

1442
01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:24,966
We can tell
them there.

1443
01:19:24,969 --> 01:19:27,962
Ben, we can't really
talk at Chow Fun's.

1444
01:19:27,972 --> 01:19:29,383
Fine. Then we'll
go to the house

1445
01:19:29,390 --> 01:19:30,631
and we can tell
them at dinner.

1446
01:19:30,641 --> 01:19:31,757
After dinner.

1447
01:19:31,976 --> 01:19:34,013
We'll all sit
down and...

1448
01:19:34,895 --> 01:19:37,103
Oh, Jesus,
how do we say this?

1449
01:19:38,816 --> 01:19:40,352
Well,

1450
01:19:40,818 --> 01:19:42,855
we'll just tell
them, uh,

1451
01:19:43,237 --> 01:19:45,024
how much we
love them,

1452
01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:48,152
how amazing
and beautiful they are,

1453
01:19:48,158 --> 01:19:50,901
so they don't think for one minute
that any of this is their fault.

1454
01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:53,074
That's the important thing.

1455
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,196
Yeah.

1456
01:19:54,832 --> 01:19:56,698
We'll just
say that...

1457
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:58,916
Mommy and Daddy...

1458
01:20:00,629 --> 01:20:02,165
Or Mom and Dad.

1459
01:20:03,507 --> 01:20:05,169
What do you think?
Mom and Dad?

1460
01:20:05,175 --> 01:20:06,837
Mommy and Daddy.

1461
01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:08,176
All right.

1462
01:20:08,554 --> 01:20:10,967
We'll say that Mommy and Daddy
have grown apart.

1463
01:20:10,973 --> 01:20:13,340
(LAUGHS) I was just
thinking about Erin.

1464
01:20:14,184 --> 01:20:15,675
She'll probably
say something like,

1465
01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:19,521
"Well, there must be something right
about you guys

1466
01:20:19,523 --> 01:20:23,517
"for you to produce such beautiful
and amazing kids."

1467
01:20:27,573 --> 01:20:30,532
She might say something
like that, you know.

1468
01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:41,417
We'll just tell
her that, uh...

1469
01:20:42,713 --> 01:20:45,456
They were born in love
and that we'll always love them,

1470
01:20:45,466 --> 01:20:47,879
but Mommy and Daddy don't love
each other anymore.

1471
01:20:50,054 --> 01:20:54,298
Well, wouldn't it be better
if we told them

1472
01:20:56,852 --> 01:20:59,845
we still love each other,
but in a different way?

1473
01:21:02,274 --> 01:21:03,390
Fine.

1474
01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:05,441
We shouldn't say that?

1475
01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:06,901
I said it was fine.

1476
01:21:08,072 --> 01:21:10,564
Well, it was kind
of a weird "fine."

1477
01:21:12,493 --> 01:21:13,859
Would you like me
to jump up and down

1478
01:21:13,869 --> 01:21:16,509
about how thrilled I am that we love
each other in a different way?

1479
01:21:18,082 --> 01:21:19,618
(INTERCOM BUZZES)

1480
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,999
(SIGHS)

1481
01:21:28,217 --> 01:21:29,378
Yeah, who is it?

1482
01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:31,071
MAN ON INTERCOM:
<i>Mr. Jordan, your couch is here.</i>

1483
01:21:31,095 --> 01:21:34,088
Where have you guys been?
Come on in.

1484
01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:38,391
(SIGHS) Jeez, they were supposed
to be here first thing this morning.

1485
01:21:44,691 --> 01:21:47,229
I'll, uh, pick you up
at 5:00 on Thursday?

1486
01:21:53,534 --> 01:21:55,366
(CLEARS THROAT)

1487
01:21:59,998 --> 01:22:02,957
So, uh, is there

1488
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:06,043
anything else we
need to talk about?

1489
01:22:06,380 --> 01:22:07,666
Like what?

1490
01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:09,585
MAN: Yeah,
it's this one here.

1491
01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:12,167
Nothing.

1492
01:22:15,180 --> 01:22:16,261
Bye.

1493
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:39,327
BEN: <i>Jesus, what
happened to you?</i>

1494
01:22:39,329 --> 01:22:42,618
<i>What happened to that fun girl, the one
with the pith helmet? Where did she go?</i>

1495
01:22:42,624 --> 01:22:46,459
KATIE: <i>You don't think I ask
myself that every day?</i>

1496
01:22:47,254 --> 01:22:50,372
BEN: <i>I'm talking about
a connection, a look,</i>

1497
01:22:50,382 --> 01:22:53,750
<i>something that says
that we're on the same side here.</i>

1498
01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:57,133
<i>Isn't this the moment
where one of us is supposed to say,</i>

1499
01:22:57,139 --> 01:22:59,472
<i>"This is ridiculous.
We love each other.</i>

1500
01:22:59,475 --> 01:23:02,092
<i>"All couples go through this.
Let's give it another try"?</i>

1501
01:23:15,866 --> 01:23:18,108
It was supposed
to rain today.

1502
01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:20,990
I'm glad it didn't.

1503
01:23:21,788 --> 01:23:22,995
Me, too.

1504
01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:29,745
Turn here. If you
take Sepulveda...

1505
01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:33,544
What?

1506
01:23:34,843 --> 01:23:36,084
Nothing.

1507
01:23:49,566 --> 01:23:52,024
PRIEST: <i>Do you,
Katie, take Ben,</i>

1508
01:23:52,319 --> 01:23:54,402
to have and to hold,

1509
01:23:54,404 --> 01:23:56,487
in sickness and in health,

1510
01:23:56,740 --> 01:23:58,948
for better or for worse,

1511
01:23:58,951 --> 01:24:00,692
until death do you part?

1512
01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:01,818
I do.

1513
01:24:02,913 --> 01:24:04,449
(SOBBING)

1514
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:06,239
- (WAILING)
- It's a boy.

1515
01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:07,331
It's a girl.

1516
01:24:07,334 --> 01:24:08,334
It's a bunny!

1517
01:24:08,585 --> 01:24:10,025
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- It's a home run!

1518
01:24:10,087 --> 01:24:11,328
It's chicken pops.

1519
01:24:11,338 --> 01:24:12,454
It's over.

1520
01:24:12,631 --> 01:24:13,792
(WHISPERS)
I love you.

1521
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,002
Damn you!

1522
01:24:15,175 --> 01:24:16,211
I love you.

1523
01:24:16,927 --> 01:24:18,008
Damn it.

1524
01:24:18,011 --> 01:24:19,127
I love you.

1525
01:24:19,137 --> 01:24:21,094
- (BREATHING RAPIDLY)
- I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

1526
01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:22,384
I hate you!

1527
01:24:22,766 --> 01:24:24,428
(PANTING)
Fuck me. Fuck me.

1528
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:25,762
Fuck you!

1529
01:24:29,314 --> 01:24:30,475
I love you.

1530
01:24:30,482 --> 01:24:31,689
I'm pregnant.

1531
01:24:31,692 --> 01:24:33,058
My goldfish died.

1532
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,229
My hamster died.

1533
01:24:34,528 --> 01:24:35,564
My father's dying.

1534
01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:36,818
I'm pregnant.

1535
01:24:46,081 --> 01:24:47,367
(INAUDIBLE)

1536
01:24:57,217 --> 01:24:58,753
Maybe we should
separate.

1537
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:21,365
(SCOFFS)

1538
01:25:38,800 --> 01:25:39,961
ERIN: Mom! Dad!

1539
01:25:39,968 --> 01:25:41,129
JOSH: Mom! Dad!

1540
01:25:41,136 --> 01:25:42,718
- You ready?
- Yeah.

1541
01:25:44,723 --> 01:25:46,806
BEN: (CHUCKLING)
Yo! Hey, hey!

1542
01:25:46,808 --> 01:25:50,301
Hey! What's up, buddy?
Good to see you. How you doing?

1543
01:25:50,312 --> 01:25:52,019
(SOBBING)

1544
01:25:52,356 --> 01:25:53,356
What's the matter, Mom?

1545
01:25:53,899 --> 01:25:55,515
She just missed
you, that's all.

1546
01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:58,142
Oh, you've both
just grown so big!

1547
01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:00,691
Yeah! Look at you guys.
I hardly recognize you.

1548
01:26:00,697 --> 01:26:02,563
Hey, wait a minute.

1549
01:26:02,574 --> 01:26:03,781
Which one of
you is Erin?

1550
01:26:04,534 --> 01:26:05,650
JOSH: Check it out, Dad.

1551
01:26:05,661 --> 01:26:08,529
Whoa! I guess we know
what your high is today.

1552
01:26:08,538 --> 01:26:11,451
Look at that. "Best all-around camper."
Congratulations, buddy.

1553
01:26:11,458 --> 01:26:13,791
Look at that, Katie.
I guess this calls for a celebration!

1554
01:26:13,794 --> 01:26:16,332
Come on, kids! Riverdance!
Come on, come on.

1555
01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:18,796
(SINGING) <i>I'm the best
all-around riverdancer</i>

1556
01:26:18,799 --> 01:26:22,338
Come on, Katie. Kinda like
a <i>Little Latin Lupe Lu</i> thing. Whoa!

1557
01:26:22,344 --> 01:26:24,836
Hey! Now, go
with the big finish now!

1558
01:26:24,846 --> 01:26:26,963
- Dad! Dad.
- Come on... What?

1559
01:26:26,973 --> 01:26:29,090
- I have to see these kids next summer.
- Huh?

1560
01:26:29,101 --> 01:26:30,342
Come on, Dad,
we're hungry.

1561
01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:33,102
Okay. All right.

1562
01:26:34,523 --> 01:26:35,684
Okay.

1563
01:26:38,652 --> 01:26:39,893
Let's go home.

1564
01:26:52,624 --> 01:26:55,037
I think we should
go to Chow Fun's.

1565
01:27:03,719 --> 01:27:05,130
Chow Fun's?

1566
01:27:07,556 --> 01:27:10,236
I thought we both agreed that
we really couldn't talk at Chow Fun's.

1567
01:27:10,684 --> 01:27:11,891
I know.

1568
01:27:13,645 --> 01:27:14,726
What are you saying?

1569
01:27:15,313 --> 01:27:17,225
I'm saying
Chow Fun's.

1570
01:27:21,570 --> 01:27:24,813
Are you saying Chow Fun's
because you can't face telling the kids?

1571
01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:27,440
Because if that's why you're saying
Chow Fun's, don't say Chow Fun's.

1572
01:27:27,451 --> 01:27:28,908
No, that's not why
I'm saying Chow Fun's.

1573
01:27:28,910 --> 01:27:31,869
I'm saying Chow Fun's
because we are an "us."

1574
01:27:32,831 --> 01:27:35,198
(SIGHS) There's
a history here,

1575
01:27:35,625 --> 01:27:38,208
and histories
don't happen overnight.

1576
01:27:39,129 --> 01:27:42,372
You know, in Mesopotamia or ancient Troy
or somewhere back there,

1577
01:27:42,382 --> 01:27:45,466
there are cities built
on top of other cities,

1578
01:27:45,469 --> 01:27:48,928
but I don't want to build another city.
I like this city.

1579
01:27:48,930 --> 01:27:50,762
I know where we
keep the Bactine

1580
01:27:50,766 --> 01:27:52,758
and what kind of mood you're in
when you wake up

1581
01:27:52,768 --> 01:27:54,134
by which eyebrow
is higher,

1582
01:27:54,144 --> 01:27:56,978
and you always know that
I'm a little quiet in the morning

1583
01:27:56,980 --> 01:27:59,313
and compensate
accordingly.

1584
01:27:59,316 --> 01:28:02,275
That's a dance you
perfect over time.

1585
01:28:02,277 --> 01:28:05,520
And it's hard.
It's much harder than I thought it would be.

1586
01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:07,772
But there's more
good than bad,

1587
01:28:07,783 --> 01:28:09,615
and you don't
just give up.

1588
01:28:10,076 --> 01:28:11,988
And it's not
for the sake of the children.

1589
01:28:11,995 --> 01:28:14,908
But, oh, God,
they're great kids, aren't they?

1590
01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:17,783
I mean, God, and we made them.
I mean, think about that.

1591
01:28:17,793 --> 01:28:20,331
It's like, there were no people there
and then there were people.

1592
01:28:20,337 --> 01:28:22,954
And then they
grew, and...

1593
01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:27,292
I won't be able to say to some stranger,
"Josh has your hands,"

1594
01:28:27,302 --> 01:28:30,886
or, "Remember how Erin
threw up at the Lincoln Memorial?"

1595
01:28:30,889 --> 01:28:33,973
Then I'll try to relax.

1596
01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:36,801
(GASPS) Let's face it.

1597
01:28:36,812 --> 01:28:39,225
Anybody's gonna have traits
that get on your nerves.

1598
01:28:39,231 --> 01:28:42,065
I mean, why shouldn't it
be your annoying traits?

1599
01:28:42,067 --> 01:28:45,310
I'm no day at the beach,
but I do have a good sense of direction,

1600
01:28:45,320 --> 01:28:46,982
so at least I can
find the beach.

1601
01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:49,776
Which is not a criticism
of yours, it's just a...

1602
01:28:49,783 --> 01:28:50,899
(SIGHS)

1603
01:28:50,909 --> 01:28:52,650
A strength of mine.

1604
01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:57,534
God, you're a good friend,
and good friends are hard to find.

1605
01:28:59,334 --> 01:29:01,246
Charlotte said that
in <i>Charlotte's Web,</i>

1606
01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:03,836
and I love the way
you read that to Erin.

1607
01:29:03,839 --> 01:29:07,332
And you take on the voice of Wilbur
the pig with such commitment,

1608
01:29:07,342 --> 01:29:09,334
even when you're
bone-tired.

1609
01:29:09,344 --> 01:29:12,178
That speaks volumes
about character.

1610
01:29:12,180 --> 01:29:13,921
And ultimately,

1611
01:29:13,932 --> 01:29:17,221
isn't that what it comes down to?
What a person's made of?

1612
01:29:17,477 --> 01:29:22,393
(SOBBING) Because that girl
in the pith helmet is still in here.

1613
01:29:23,191 --> 01:29:25,649
(IMITATES SIREN BLARING)

1614
01:29:26,278 --> 01:29:29,271
I didn't even know she existed
until I met you.

1615
01:29:29,698 --> 01:29:31,860
And I'm afraid
if you leave,

1616
01:29:31,867 --> 01:29:34,484
I may never
see her again.

1617
01:29:34,786 --> 01:29:37,199
Even though I said at times
you beat her out of me.

1618
01:29:37,205 --> 01:29:41,290
Isn't that the paradox?
Haven't we hit the essential paradox?

1619
01:29:41,293 --> 01:29:44,661
Give and take, push and pull, yin and yang,
the best of times, the worst of times.

1620
01:29:44,671 --> 01:29:47,038
I think Dickens said it best.
The Jack Sprat of it.

1621
01:29:47,048 --> 01:29:49,791
"He could eat no fat,
his wife could eat no lean."

1622
01:29:49,801 --> 01:29:51,918
But that doesn't really
apply here, does it?

1623
01:29:51,928 --> 01:29:54,341
I guess what I'm
trying to say is,

1624
01:29:55,557 --> 01:29:57,890
I'm saying
Chow Fun's because...

1625
01:29:58,602 --> 01:29:59,968
I love you.

1626
01:30:00,812 --> 01:30:03,054
(CONTINUES SOBBING)

1627
01:30:09,237 --> 01:30:11,229
I love you, too.

1628
01:30:18,788 --> 01:30:20,620
Did you hear
that, kids?

1629
01:30:20,624 --> 01:30:24,413
(SCREAMING AND LAUGHING)
Your mom wants to go to Chow Fun's!

1630
01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:27,457
Isn't that great?
Oh, I love Chow Fun's!

1631
01:30:27,464 --> 01:30:30,081
JOSH: Dad, the egg rolls are good,
but they're not that good.

1632
01:30:30,091 --> 01:30:32,174
No, no, the egg rolls
are fantastic!

1633
01:30:32,177 --> 01:30:34,840
They're warm, crispy,
greasy as all hell.

1634
01:30:34,846 --> 01:30:36,087
Everything you want
in an egg roll.

1635
01:30:36,097 --> 01:30:37,178
Exactly.

1636
01:30:37,390 --> 01:30:39,382
Okay, High-Low.
Erin, you first.

1637
01:30:39,392 --> 01:30:42,726
ERIN: My high for the summer is
that Austin Butler wrote me 111 times.

1638
01:30:42,729 --> 01:30:45,312
KATIE: <i>How did you come up
with High-Low, anyway?</i>

1639
01:30:45,315 --> 01:30:48,103
BEN: <i>You know, I don't know.
But I've got another game.</i>

1640
01:30:48,109 --> 01:30:50,522
<i>I'm thinking of seven
words. What are they?</i>

1641
01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:53,145
- Do I get a hint?
- No.

1642
01:30:53,156 --> 01:30:54,397
- A category?
- No.

1643
01:30:54,407 --> 01:30:56,490
So, they can be any seven words
in the English language?

1644
01:30:56,493 --> 01:30:57,609
Yes. That's right.

1645
01:30:57,619 --> 01:30:59,076
Fair enough.

1646
01:30:59,788 --> 01:31:01,950
"MacArthur Park is melting
in the dark."

1647
01:31:01,957 --> 01:31:03,118
No. No.

1648
01:31:03,124 --> 01:31:04,365
- No?
- No.

1649
01:31:06,044 --> 01:31:08,457
"And they lived
happily ever after."

1650
01:31:09,839 --> 01:31:12,547
That's six words,
but you're very close.

1651
01:31:13,885 --> 01:31:16,593
"And they lived
mostly happily ever after?"

1652
01:31:17,931 --> 01:31:19,263
I hope so.

1653
01:31:20,141 --> 01:31:21,507
I think so.

1654
01:31:23,478 --> 01:31:24,844
Think so?

1655
01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:26,429
I do.

1656
01:31:27,857 --> 01:31:29,098
I do...

1657
01:31:29,609 --> 01:31:30,690
Too.

1658
01:31:37,200 --> 01:31:39,408
(MUSIC PLAYING)