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Narrator: Once upon a time,

2
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,317
in the little village of
putting-on-the-ritz,

3
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,943
there lived a wolf named phox.

4
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:38,243
That's phox with a p-h.
P-h-o-x, phox. My card.

5
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,433
Narrator: There was no one so
clever at driving a bargain.

6
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,119
Now, this horse is exactly
what you need, grandpa.

7
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,395
It's got a three-speed bridle,

8
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,250
matching horseshoes,
wide side walls...

9
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,624
It's a steal at 40 bazoozas.

10
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,380
Can I look at its teeth?

11
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,798
Teeth? Teeth?

12
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,922
Are you buying a horse or a beauty queen?
Come on, now.

13
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:58,134
Well, all right.
Here's your money.

14
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,262
And here's your horse.

15
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,343
Well, come on, horsey.

16
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Hey, I wanted a live horse!

17
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,525
It was alive,
but I didn't say when.

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Narrator: Nobody liked
the phox with a p-h,

19
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,251
but nobody could ever
get the better of him.

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One day, the sly phox was
tripping through the woods.

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Oh, Hardy-har-har.

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When he chanced upon a mysterious
box sitting in an open glade.

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On its top was written
this strange legend.

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Phox: "To take
my treasure, you may try,

25
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"but he who opens me shall diel"

26
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,087
a treasure chest! Ooh,
gadzooks, I'm in luck!

27
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Ooh, but whoever
opens it shall die,

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00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:39,095
ergo, I gotta get some
dummy to open it for me.

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00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:40,922
But who would be
that much of a nitwit?

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Owl

31
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owl

32
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,312
narrator: Desmond dullwit wasn't
exactly the village idiot.

33
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But I came in second!

34
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Desmond, old buddy. Ow!

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I need somebody
to open a box for me.

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No, you don't. Whoever opens
that box is gonna die.

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How'd you know that?

38
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Oh, I was like, listening to the
first part of the story, you know?

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00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,497
Oh. So, I ain't gonna open it.

40
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But you must, Desmond.

41
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That box holds
a beautiful Princess

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who was put under a spell by
a wicked witch, remember?

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Well, listen.

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Narrator: Little did Desmond
know that the wily phox

45
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was an accomplished
ventriloquist.

46
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,801
Help! Help me, Desmond!

47
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,103
There is somebody in there.

48
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,352
Hey, how does she know my name?

49
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:34,685
Why, she's been secretly in
love with you for years.

50
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,441
Oh, joybells!

51
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:39,694
Hang on, honey!
Lover pumpkin is here!

52
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,615
Sainted aunt Hannah!
Oh! Look at that!

53
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:49,416
Gold. Jewelry.
Queen Victoria's spittoon.

54
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,710
I'm rich, rich!

55
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,375
I don't see no Princess, Mr.
Phox.

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00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,582
Of course not, you stupid lox.

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00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,962
It was a joke. Get it?

58
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,668
Huh?

59
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,430
Gee.

60
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You go get yourself
a big croker sack,

61
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,966
and we'll divide
all the treasure.

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Half and half.
Even-Steven. 80-20.

63
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,848
Yeah, all right, but I'd
rather have a Princess.

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00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,212
Narrator: No sooner
had Desmond gone,

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00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,352
the wily phox pulled out
a croker sack of his own

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and began filling it
with the priceless treasure.

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00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,570
Meanwhile,

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00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,946
Desmond wandered through the lavender
Glen looking for a croker sack.

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There he chanced upon
a beautiful milk maid.

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Owl

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00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,697
hi there, missy.

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00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,579
You wouldn't happen to have an old
croker sack on you, would you?

73
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,501
Why, I'm wearing one.

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Yeah, I just need it to put
my priceless treasure into.

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Priceless treasure?

76
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:40,383
Just a minute, honey.

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Here you are.

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Ooh, thanks a bunch.

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Wait for me, lover pumpkin!

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00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,415
Narrator: The smarmy phox
had filled his sack

81
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:53,055
when he noticed one small
coin left in the chest.

82
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An Indian head penny!

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00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,650
Narrator: Of course, the
greedy phox had to have it.

84
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Are you kidding? They bring three
bazoozas on the open market.

85
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,864
Narrator: But in reaching
for that last penny,

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phox over-balanced, and...

87
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,737
Here I am, Mr. phox.

88
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,114
Ooh, lookie, he must have
left my share for me.

89
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,494
But where did he go?

90
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,827
I'm in the box. Let me out!

91
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Sure you are.

92
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What a kidder.

93
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Get me out of here!

94
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,712
Well, thanks for divvying
it up with me, Mr. phox,

95
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,137
wherever you are.

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00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,702
Narrator: And the
stupid lox ambled off,

97
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,512
followed by the
beautiful milk maid.

98
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Hold up, sugar puss!

99
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Years later, whenever anyone would
ask about the phox with the p-h,

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the answer was always the same.

101
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Who cares?

102
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As for Desmond dullwit,

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he and his beautiful wife lived
happily to a ripe old age.

104
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Wait a minute.

105
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The legend said that whoever
opened the box would die.

106
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,415
Yep, but they didn't say when.

107
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,857
Narrator:
Once upon a time in Canada,

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00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:08,361
there unfolded a tale
of heroes and villains.

109
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And it all began with two
boys, a girl and a horse.

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Young Nell:
I don't know, Dudley.

111
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Choosing what you want to be when you
grow up is a very serious matter.

112
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It's not a question
of what I want, Nell.

113
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It's my destiny to become
a royal Canadian mountie.

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I think I'm going to
have to get out there

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00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,424
and see the world
before I choose.

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What a bunch of wimps.

117
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Why? What are you
going to be, snidely?

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Me? Isn't it obvious?
I'm going to be the bad guy.

119
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Why?

120
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'Cause the bad guy
has all the fun.

121
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And if you're the bad guy
you get to do stuff like this.

122
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Young Nell: Snidely!

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And this!

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So long, mountie-boy!

125
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I can ride better than that!

126
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I can do this better, too.

127
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,708
Why, Dudley!

128
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Come on, Nell.

129
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,531
Narrator:
Though young Nell's heart

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00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,171
was torn between
Dudley and snidely,

131
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,008
her two very best friends
in the world,

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Dudley's mind was filled
with nothing but visions

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of growing up to be a mountie.

134
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Of course, this surely wouldn't hurt
in his quest for the young Nell.

135
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For a mountie is always brave,

136
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and strong and cool.

137
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,498
Let's try that again, shall we?

138
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A mountie is always
brave and strong, and...

139
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,105
Narrator: It was 20 years later,

140
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,524
and Dudley do-right
had fulfilled his destiny.

141
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He had grown up to be
a royal Canadian mountie.

142
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,819
And his faithful horse, horse,
who had grown up as well,

143
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was the best-trained horse
this side of Ottawa.

144
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,619
Fetch!

145
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,293
Narrator: Okay, so he
wasn't that well-trained.

146
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,796
Still, Dudley was
a member in good standing

147
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,045
of the royal Canadian
mounted police.

148
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,842
He had his own grown-up fort,

149
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,965
he had his own grown-up office.

150
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,719
He had, indeed,
grown up to be brave

151
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,925
and strong and cool.

152
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,024
Narrator: Now, Dudley's lifelong
rival, snidely k. Whiplash,

153
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,154
had fulfilled
his destiny as well.

154
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,951
He had become the bad guy,

155
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,405
and he had brought a bunch of
his bad guy friends with him.

156
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,915
Can I help you?

157
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,118
Could you wait till
everyone's in, please?

158
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:53,714
What's the meaning of this?

159
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,087
This is a holdup.

160
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,920
Now, give us all your gold and all
your money, or we'll shoot you.

161
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,470
All of you? All of us!

162
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,640
No, wait. Kevin,
go and get the money.

163
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,308
Yes, sir. Don't forget the gold.

164
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,011
And don't forget the gold.

165
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,533
It's been a pleasure
doing business with you.

166
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,857
We got the money and the gold!

167
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,567
Let's go, boys!

168
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,219
Narrator: Snidely knew
the call would go out

169
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,858
to Canada's number one mountie.

170
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,945
Too bad he was tied up with
official mountie business.

171
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,039
No, no, no.

172
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,115
The anchovies go on the
half with the pepperoni,

173
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:29,667
and then it's one-quarter
garlic and one-quarter olives.

174
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:34,381
Good! Twenty minutes? That's it.

175
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,924
Thanks, mom. I love you, too.

176
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,337
Narrator: Here we go.

177
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:45,388
Meanwhile, back at snidely's
not-so-secret hideout...

178
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,636
Here's the money,
but where's the gold?

179
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,810
Whiplash took it.

180
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:49,978
Where is whiplash?

181
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,602
He's gotta be here somewhere.

182
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,441
He took off with all the gold.

183
00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:01,150
All we have is this
measly $26,000.

184
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,030
We gotta find whip.
He's tricked us.

185
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,328
And when we do,
we're gonna kill him.

186
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,031
Really slowly.

187
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,578
Yeah, but where is he, huh?

188
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,749
That's a good question.

189
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,327
I heard he was in the Sudan.

190
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,422
Where's that?

191
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,916
In Africa, stupid.

192
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,873
He's supposed to be
at the Hilton hotel.

193
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,500
The Hilton, eh?

194
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,595
Mmm.

195
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,419
Come on, boys! Let's go get him!

196
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,839
Was that it was snidely himself

197
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,676
who was sending them to the
far reaches of the world.

198
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:31,058
Yes, he really was
a very bad guy.

199
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:36,018
It's all so easy.

200
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,354
All you have to do

201
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,156
1s find 999

202
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:45,360
of the stupidest criminals
in north America

203
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,788
and everything just
falls into place.

204
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,703
There's only one man
who can stop me now.

205
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,038
Narrator: And that one
man could only be

206
00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,375
Dudley do-right of the royal
Canadian mounted police.

207
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:11,227
Meanwhile,
at an abandoned gold mine,

208
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,021
a sinister figure lurks.

209
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,440
I love to lurk. It's so me.

210
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,947
Everyone knew there wasn't any
gold left in the old mine.

211
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,151
But it was part of snidely's
evil plan to put some there.

212
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,168
The old mine shaft
just caved in.

213
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,174
I warned those kids.

214
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,756
Come on, time to go to the dark
and scary part of the forest.

215
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,590
Horse!

216
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,473
Fine. I'll take the vehicle.

217
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,072
All right, you kids.
Come on out of there.

218
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,578
I'm hardly a kid!

219
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:11,905
Snidely?

220
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,075
Snidely whiplash.

221
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,251
Dudley. Dudley do-right!

222
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,373
All right.

223
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,921
Queensberry rules.
Let's go. Put 'em up.

224
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,965
Ready when you are, d.D.

225
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,418
Why do you have a shotgun?

226
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,135
I was hunting. Mmm-hmm.

227
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,129
In an abandoned gold mine?

228
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,341
Yes. I was hunting for vampires.

229
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,516
Vampires?

230
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,389
Afraid so. Vampires.

231
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,186
Believe me, do-right,
they exist.

232
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:37,354
I don't believe you.

233
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,773
Hold this.

234
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:43,816
Examine, if you will,
this shell from a shotgun.

235
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:48,320
You'll notice, it's not
shot, but gold instead.

236
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,735
It's well-known,

237
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,742
to kill a vampire, you must drive
a stake through its heart,

238
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,994
or shoot it with
a golden bullet.

239
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,085
On.

240
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,624
So, then there really
are vampires around here?

241
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:03,957
Sadly, behind every tree,
practically.

242
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,384
What was that?

243
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,133
I shudder to speculate.

244
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,303
I have to go.

245
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,756
I thought you might.

246
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,474
So long.

247
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:14,930
Ciao.

248
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,181
Narrator: And so it went.

249
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,685
While the evil whiplash
was out hunting vampires,

250
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,186
our hero was at home,

251
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,019
hiding behind a cardboard mountie cutout.

252
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,479
After all,
even to a real mountie,

253
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,860
vampires can seem awfully scary.

254
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,119
Vampires, indeed.

255
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,964
Another week, and I'll
have those idiots thinking

256
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,165
there's gold
in them there hills.

257
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,964
In the daylight hours,
snidely was hard at work

258
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:52,923
arranging a meeting between a really big
train and the local bank president.

259
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,685
Is that a choo-choo train
I hear coming our way?

260
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,597
I can't do this
to our customers.

261
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,399
You'll own everything!

262
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,103
All right, all right. I'll sign.

263
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,859
All the bank's mortgages
are yours.

264
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,565
And a teller to be named later.

265
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,529
Right!

266
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:19,115
Pay up the mortgage now, or this
quaint little fixer-upper is mine.

267
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,579
You're not our banker.

268
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,539
Oh, I am now.

269
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,746
Read it and weep.

270
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,456
How can you do this to us?

271
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,418
How can I do this to you?
Madam, I was born to do it.

272
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:31,753
It's in my genes.

273
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:34,055
Now get out, and take
your munchkins with you.

274
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,516
That's right. Chop-chop.
Single file.

275
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,310
And wipe that smile off your face.
And no talking.

276
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,521
Narrator:
With his ill-gotten gains,

277
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:46,100
snidely whiplash was taking
over all of semi-happy valley,

278
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,436
and that included
the local motel,

279
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,112
the slaw-dogs stand,

280
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,690
the funeral home,

281
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,154
the very town itself.

282
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,987
Naturally, local residents
became a mite concerned.

283
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,829
What's going on out here?
What's wrong?

284
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,040
We've all just lost our
homes and businesses.

285
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,215
All: Yeah!

286
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,885
Well, that's a relief.

287
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,179
All: Huh? Itis?

288
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,223
Yes. I thought that
this was about the vampires.

289
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,769
No! This is about that
bloodsucker, snidely whiplash!

290
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,563
He's taken everything. Our homes,
our businesses, our farms!

291
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,641
All: Yeah!
What do you mean, "vampires"?

292
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,184
You mean, you don't know?

293
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,279
All: No.

294
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:31,300
The woods are filled with them.

295
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,564
All: What?

296
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,533
Man: Run for your lives!

297
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,822
Narrator: Our hero, Dudley
do-right, had never felt so alone.

298
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,782
Whiplash city was a ghost town.

299
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,869
His long lost Nell
had been gone for years.

300
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,500
Now, it was just him and horse.

301
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,377
It's just you and me, horse.

302
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:55,253
If I know anything, horse,
these two things are true.

303
00:16:56,140 --> 00:17:00,383
Nell will never come back,
and you will never leave me.

304
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,537
Horse?

305
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,918
Horse!

306
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,884
Horse! Where are you going?
There's vampires out there!

307
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,017
Who goes there?

308
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,147
What?

309
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,688
Don't "what" me.

310
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,068
Don't "what" me.

311
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,275
I know you're a vampire.

312
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,737
I'm gonna warn ya.
I've got garlic in here.

313
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,995
It's me, Dudley.
It's Nell fenwick.

314
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,536
Don't try and confuse me.
I know you're a vampire.

315
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,984
And I can prove it, too, 'cause only
a vampire wouldn't know the answer

316
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,670
to this simple,
Canadian question.

317
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,134
What is Wayne gretzky's
middle name?

318
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,629
Well, I don't know, Dudley.

319
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:21,930
Well, do you?

320
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,468
No. No, I don't.

321
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,220
Oh, my god!

322
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,147
I am a vampire!

323
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,684
You're not a vampire, Dudley.

324
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,811
Is something burning?

325
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,717
Oh, yeah, right. Like you
think I'm stupid enough

326
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,823
to fall for that old trick.

327
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,399
Narrator: It was at that precise
moment when Nell remembered

328
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,709
that famous old
mountie movie song.

329
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,337
When I'm calling you

330
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,510
Nell! It really is you!

331
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:08,391
Will you answer, too?

332
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:14,188
That means I
offer my love to you

333
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,938
if you refuse me

334
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:22,025
both: What shall I do?

335
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:27,781
When I'm calling you

336
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:31,875
won't you come in, Nell?

337
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:32,997
Sure.

338
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,380
So, Nell,

339
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,132
what have you been
doing all these years?

340
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,962
Well, I went out and saw the
world, just like I planned.

341
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:44,763
Uh-huh. I got my master's
in philosophy from Yale.

342
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,262
A ph.D. In international
diplomacy from Harvard.

343
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,844
Oh, and then I served as
U.S. ambassador to Guam.

344
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,475
And?

345
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:57,272
And, now I've come home

346
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:00,070
to get the one thing
a good education can't buy.

347
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,302
Oh, I got you. You want one
of those fuzzy plaid blankets

348
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,926
that they sell down
at the mountie store?

349
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,238
No, Dudley.

350
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,489
Beach house with a hot tub?

351
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,990
No, I just...

352
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,492
Let's not play games, Nell.

353
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,283
I haven't had the chance
to say these words before...

354
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,662
Oh, Dudley!

355
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,342
Nell...

356
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,139
Oh, Dudley!

357
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,565
Dudley!

358
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,642
When I'm calling you

359
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,560
enough with the song.

360
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,065
Got it.

361
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,738
I'm sorry. Where was I?

362
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,036
Maybe we should just go out.

363
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:51,705
I hear they're having an
authentic corn festival dance

364
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,374
at the reservation, with
fireworks and everything.

365
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:55,542
Or picture this,

366
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,790
a quiet evening in front
of the fire avec moi,

367
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,123
toasting marshmallows,
drinking ovaltine.

368
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,879
Oh. Now I remember
what I was going to say.

369
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,336
Nell fenwick, I...

370
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:10,685
Huh?

371
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:22,524
Nell, I love youl!

372
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,634
Narrator: Though she had
traveled far and wide,

373
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,740
never before had Nell heard
a confession of love

374
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,192
from a moose.

375
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,660
Let's just go
to the corn festival.

376
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,871
Okey-dokey.

377
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:36,542
I'll get around to fixing the
floorboards next Tuesday.

378
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,334
I hope it's not hunting season.

379
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:47,806
Owl

380
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,801
a little help here for a moose?

381
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,433
Please? Thank you.

382
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,821
After finding the nearest
moose head removal service,

383
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:12,699
Dudley and Nell made their
way to the corn festival.

384
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:15,202
Dudley, this is
totally authentic!

385
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:18,538
This is Canada, Nell.
Things are real up here.

386
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,622
Oh. Say, there's the chief!

387
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,752
Chief!

388
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:26,678
Oh, chief!

389
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,211
Narrator: Yes, it was the chief

390
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,630
of that rarely studied tribe
of south Brooklyn Indians

391
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,635
known as the canarsie kumquats.

392
00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:35,138
Or just the kumquats, for short.

393
00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:38,141
Dudley! Long time no see.

394
00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:39,893
You remember Nell.

395
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:44,231
Nell fenwick! You look terrific.
How's it goin'?

396
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:45,898
Me do well.

397
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,488
Good for you, sugar.

398
00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:49,190
Well, come on.
Let's go see the show!

399
00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:26,360
This riverdance stuff
is really hot lately.

400
00:23:47,301 --> 00:23:48,632
Dudley? Hmm?

401
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,801
You remember standing
room only, don't you?

402
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:53,842
Oh, of course I do. How are
you, standing room only?

403
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,423
Great. Look, could we talk?

404
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:56,976
Certainly.

405
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:17,824
How!

406
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,456
Bravo! Oh, bravo!

407
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:25,748
Okay, look. A snitch
I ain't, all right?

408
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,777
But for the last week or so I've been
seeing this guy out in the woods at night

409
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:32,259
with this kind of Abe Lincoln
hat on and this opera coat,

410
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:34,507
goin' around shooting
rocks and streams,

411
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,088
crap like that, with a shotgun.

412
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:38,765
Yes? Go on.

413
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:40,212
What, you don't think
that's weird?

414
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:42,978
No, no. It's snidely whiplash.

415
00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:45,681
He thinks he's hunting
vampires with gold bullets,

416
00:24:45,776 --> 00:24:47,482
which scares the heck out of me.

417
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,356
Vampires or gold bullets?

418
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:50,780
Vampires.

419
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:53,551
I'll tell you what, chief. I think you're
straight out of your frickin' mind.

420
00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:54,690
Me or him?

421
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:56,901
Me. Me, me.

422
00:24:59,081 --> 00:25:01,743
Yeah. That's a fine way
to talk to your chief.

423
00:25:02,376 --> 00:25:05,209
Well, if you'll excuse me, this
particular mountie has a date.

424
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,008
Wow.

425
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:18,798
Oh, Dudley, I wish we could
have stayed for the fireworks.

426
00:25:19,101 --> 00:25:22,138
The fireworks are even more
beautiful from this vantage point.

427
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,136
Yes.

428
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,438
When I'm calling you

429
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:28,641
Dudley? Not now, okay?

430
00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:29,736
Yes, Nell.

431
00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:30,820
Let's just row.

432
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:31,939
Of course, Nell.

433
00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:38,233
Narrator: Meanwhile,
that very same night,

434
00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:42,571
the poorest man in semi-happy
valley was about to strike it rich.

435
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:46,124
Hello! Enjoying
your evening thus far?

436
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,377
Thought I'd just drop in.
Found some gold, have we?

437
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:54,007
No, no. There's no gold
anywhere around here.

438
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:57,336
Oh, but there is, lots of
it, all over the place.

439
00:25:57,431 --> 00:26:00,673
And you, you horrid
example of a human being

440
00:26:00,768 --> 00:26:02,759
have made the initial discovery.

441
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:06,516
You're famous. You will
be on network television.

442
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:09,477
Network television? No way!

443
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,605
Now, stand up, hold the
pan out and smile.

444
00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:15,020
Can I borrow your comb?

445
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,480
Shut up and grin.

446
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,037
Welcome. Welcome to our show. Have a seat.
Hi. How are you?

447
00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:32,204
They're calling this the biggest
gold strike in history.

448
00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:34,540
Certainly it's the biggest
gold find of the century.

449
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:36,237
And the man who
made it all possible

450
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:38,172
is here for an exclusive
interview today.

451
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:40,675
Mr. Kim j. Darling.
Welcome, Kim!

452
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,470
What's happening, Regis?

453
00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:46,201
I'll tell you what's
happening, my friend.

454
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,351
You're what's happening.

455
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:48,849
Headlines all over the world.

456
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:52,149
How's it feel to have made the
biggest gold find in a century?

457
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:54,648
Oh, I feel light-headed,
kathie Lee.

458
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:57,525
Well, your story certainly has
taken the whole world by storm.

459
00:26:57,616 --> 00:27:00,483
But, reg, the sad part
is, at least for Kim,

460
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:04,536
is that he found all this
gold on land he doesn't own.

461
00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:05,703
Audience: Aw.

462
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:07,782
I did? But the owner
is staking no claim.

463
00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:10,242
He says whoever finds the
gold gets to keep it.

464
00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:13,579
And that's why the big gold
rush is on for northern Canada.

465
00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:18,129
Stay tuned.
Bette midler is next.

466
00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:20,794
No! Yeah!

467
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,890
Meanwhile,
on the U.S.-Canadian border,

468
00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,934
all is tranquil as usual.

469
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:29,341
You want some of me?

470
00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:36,777
You want some of
Dwayne cuffman? Huh?

471
00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:39,146
Come on, you son of a...

472
00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:40,697
Ooh! Ah!

473
00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:58,627
Passports! Hey, stop!

474
00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:06,011
Trouble along the Canadian-U.S.
border continues to mount.

475
00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:08,592
They seem to be
yuppie wetbacks, mostly.

476
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,723
But a lot of them are dentists.

477
00:28:10,814 --> 00:28:12,375
And this just in.
Scientists discover that

478
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,560
Canadian bacon is
actually ordinary ham.

479
00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:19,857
What could be better than a plan
working exactly as you planned it?

480
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:22,981
Nothing! That's what's better.

481
00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:25,786
Drop it, whiplash!

482
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:27,949
It's about time you showed up.

483
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:30,827
About time?
We're here to kill you.

484
00:28:31,335 --> 00:28:33,417
That won't be necessary.

485
00:28:33,503 --> 00:28:35,334
Gentlemen, forgive my manners.

486
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:37,333
Please, take a seat.

487
00:28:41,803 --> 00:28:43,543
You weren't in the Sudan.

488
00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:46,597
You don't say. Where
are all the other men?

489
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,932
Where are they? They're
all over the place.

490
00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:52,519
Heathrow, the Rome
airport, Mozambique.

491
00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:55,438
We all ran out of money.

492
00:28:55,776 --> 00:28:59,109
This could be the right-sized
group I've been looking for.

493
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:01,324
What are you talking about?
We're gonna kill you!

494
00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:04,277
You're not going to kill me.
You're going to work for me.

495
00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:05,574
What? Snidely: Yeah.

496
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:09,112
I need you boys
to help me run the town.

497
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:14,367
Everyone's gone, including the
man who ran the slaw-dogs stand.

498
00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:15,917
Therefore, boys,

499
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,959
I'm gonna need your help
to run whiplash city.

500
00:29:20,050 --> 00:29:22,666
Lefty, didn't you
once attend school?

501
00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:24,793
Well, I... yeah.

502
00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:28,051
Good! Well, now, you're the new
superintendent for schools.

503
00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:32,301
Thanks, whip. This is a
dream come true for me.

504
00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:34,637
Homer, didn't you once
work at McDonald's?

505
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,723
Well, yeah, whip, but I'm
your number two guy.

506
00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:39,274
I'm part of the brain trust.

507
00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:40,976
Absolutely!

508
00:29:41,571 --> 00:29:45,029
Now you can manage the snidely
whiplash slaw-dogs stand.

509
00:29:45,492 --> 00:29:48,199
Oh, man. I'm gettin' screwed.

510
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:50,740
And we're going to need doctors.

511
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:53,601
Which one of you
is dumb enough to think

512
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:55,331
you can perform brain surgery?

513
00:29:59,256 --> 00:30:01,747
Congratulations. You're the
town's new brain surgeon.

514
00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:04,006
Yes!

515
00:30:04,094 --> 00:30:05,584
Yes, indeed.

516
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:08,671
Well, it's pretty obvious we're going
to need a really good psychiatrist!

517
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:10,096
All: Me! Pick me!

518
00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:16,557
Honey? Look, honey!

519
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,936
Narrator: Goodbye, Las Vegas.
Hello, whiplash city.

520
00:30:20,027 --> 00:30:22,297
A place for parents to pan for gold,
and bond with their children.

521
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,840
Get a picture! A picture.
I don't wanna.

522
00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:25,604
Carly, get a picture!

523
00:30:25,699 --> 00:30:29,191
And a place to prove
that white men can dance.

524
00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:37,621
California,
Georgia, Puerto Rico.

525
00:30:37,711 --> 00:30:39,326
But where are the Canadians?

526
00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:42,788
Canadians like to think things
over before they do something.

527
00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:44,043
Americans just jump.

528
00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:45,670
And thank goodness they do.

529
00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:47,968
Did you like the way
I pronounced Puerto Rico?

530
00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:49,295
Yeah.

531
00:30:49,389 --> 00:30:50,720
I speak a little Spanish.

532
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:53,089
You're the complete
package, whip.

533
00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:56,685
Narrator: Yes, snidely had taken
over Dudley do-right's town.

534
00:30:56,772 --> 00:30:57,887
But little did he know

535
00:30:57,981 --> 00:31:00,688
that Dudley was hard at
work devising a plan to...

536
00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:03,858
That Dudley was hard at work...

537
00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:07,733
Okay, I'm lying. He was fast
asleep, dreaming about horse.

538
00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:18,490
Horse!

539
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:21,209
Horsel horse!

540
00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:43,273
Horse, it's so good
to see you again.

541
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,975
Nell's here, and you're here.

542
00:31:45,070 --> 00:31:47,857
And if only I knew what that
snidely whiplash was up to.

543
00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:50,927
You mean, there never
were any vampires?

544
00:31:50,951 --> 00:31:54,944
Wake up, will ya? No! What else?
That dirty rat!

545
00:31:57,499 --> 00:31:58,499
Whoa!

546
00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:02,830
Hey, yo, whipster!
We're makin' a fortune!

547
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:05,458
Come on. Sol see. So I see.

548
00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:09,425
It's the same with the gift
shop and the gas station.

549
00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,797
And the funeral home
should be showing a profit

550
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:13,674
if I've got anything
to do with it. Huh?

551
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:16,142
Mr. whip? Hmm?

552
00:32:16,226 --> 00:32:18,217
I was thinking, with us
gettin' rich and all,

553
00:32:18,311 --> 00:32:21,678
that maybe we should
start playin' golf?

554
00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:26,270
My word. You're a genius.

555
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:36,201
Narrator: The par 72 golf course
was soon snidely's pride and joy.

556
00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:41,165
And thanks to the complimentary golf
balls he gave to all his guests,

557
00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:43,242
he never lost a game.

558
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:45,960
Ever.

559
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:47,663
Bad luck!

560
00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:49,247
You must have looked up.

561
00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:02,177
Dudley: Stop
right there, whiplash!

562
00:33:02,397 --> 00:33:04,729
Do-right, you made me
hit the windmill!

563
00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:06,681
No one talks when I shoot!

564
00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:08,357
You're the man, whip!

565
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:12,484
There's something going on in semi-happy
valley that I don't approve of.

566
00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:15,691
It's called whiplash
city now, mountie-boy.

567
00:33:16,244 --> 00:33:17,244
Ooh.

568
00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:18,576
You remember Nell fenwick.

569
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:19,743
Nell!

570
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:22,618
Narrator: Remember her? He'd been
in love with her since he was six.

571
00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:24,412
Hello, snidely.

572
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,915
We've known each other too
long to be that formal.

573
00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:30,876
Nell, will you stop that!

574
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:32,795
Zowiel

575
00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:33,886
cool hat.

576
00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:34,970
We try.

577
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:37,634
So, what do you want,
totem breath?

578
00:33:37,724 --> 00:33:38,724
"Totem breath"?

579
00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:40,203
Well, it's the best
I could come up with.

580
00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:43,094
It's hard to kiss and
think at the same time.

581
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:45,719
Neither of which activity you've
had much experience with.

582
00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:52,773
What I want, is for you to know

583
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,695
that I don't know for
sure what you're up to,

584
00:33:54,783 --> 00:33:56,489
but you're for sure
up to something.

585
00:33:56,576 --> 00:33:57,656
Well put.

586
00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:00,281
And I sure intend to find
out what that something is.

587
00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:03,489
Do-right, you'd need a psychic
to find out what I'm up to.

588
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:04,948
I don't think so.

589
00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:10,412
Well, I think that's
a gimme, eh, boys?

590
00:34:10,507 --> 00:34:11,713
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

591
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,791
Let's play the next hole.
Come join us, Nell.

592
00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:16,005
Nell?

593
00:34:16,096 --> 00:34:17,711
Oh, it's just snidely,
for Pete's sake.

594
00:34:17,973 --> 00:34:19,534
Narrator: Though snidely
was the bad guy,

595
00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:21,674
he did have a certain something.

596
00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:23,724
First you ran everyone out of town.
Uh-huh.

597
00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:26,554
Then you took over the town, and then...
Yes, what else?

598
00:34:26,648 --> 00:34:28,058
Oh, gosh.
I knew it this morning.

599
00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:29,935
Oh, come on, Einstein.
You can do it.

600
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:33,769
Then you salted the streams
and mines with gold

601
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:36,070
in order to create
a false gold rush.

602
00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:38,694
And because you own the
town and everything in it,

603
00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:40,741
you stand to make
a great fortune!

604
00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:43,445
Hop up, sweetcakes.
Carry on, boys.

605
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,684
Dudley, keep your voice down.

606
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:45,868
This is an exclusive club.

607
00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:47,719
I don't care. Would you
like to play with us?

608
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:48,952
I'll give you a stroke a hole.

609
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,210
Not a chance! Oh, come on.

610
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:51,958
Hello.

611
00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:53,288
Yes, carry on. Carry on.

612
00:34:53,383 --> 00:34:55,169
Very good there.
Lovely to see you.

613
00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:57,792
Yes, lovely ball.
Thank you very much.

614
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:01,679
Well, my dear friend
and worthy foe,

615
00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:04,633
once again I've foolishly
underestimated you.

616
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:06,639
That's right! Then I'm right?

617
00:35:06,730 --> 00:35:10,643
No, you're way off! But what if a
rumor like that spread around?

618
00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:13,146
It could destroy a community
like semi-happy valley,

619
00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:14,521
or whatever you want to call it.

620
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:16,069
You wouldn't want that,
would you?

621
00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:20,527
We have to tell
the truth, snidely.

622
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:21,825
Yes, of course.

623
00:35:21,911 --> 00:35:23,196
But before we do anything rash,

624
00:35:23,288 --> 00:35:25,950
let's sit down and
discuss it like adults.

625
00:35:26,041 --> 00:35:27,041
When?

626
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,865
Tonight, 9:00 P.M. sharp?

627
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,166
Where? Your place.

628
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:31,750
What's the dress?

629
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:32,953
Casual.

630
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,610
That really doesn't leave
me much time to get ready.

631
00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:38,000
You could microwave some of
those little hot dog thingies.

632
00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:39,300
All right.

633
00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:43,797
Narrator: Snidely didn't
keep his date with Dudley.

634
00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:45,348
But homer did,

635
00:35:45,435 --> 00:35:48,973
and he was thoughtful enough
to bring along a six-pack

636
00:35:49,064 --> 00:35:50,554
of dynamite.

637
00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:24,671
Homer! Hmm...

638
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:27,929
You look somehow,
I don't know, younger.

639
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:29,141
How did it go?

640
00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:30,844
Everything's taken care of.

641
00:36:31,439 --> 00:36:33,475
Your boy is in do-gooder heaven.

642
00:36:33,566 --> 00:36:35,522
I couldn't even find his body.

643
00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:37,601
Excellent!

644
00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:39,311
Well, get out of
that garish outfit

645
00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,021
and find yourself a black suit.

646
00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:43,732
You are our new
funeral home director.

647
00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:44,948
Shane!

648
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,036
Yes, Mr. whiplash?

649
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:47,652
Drinks on the house. Yes, sir.

650
00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:48,782
No, wait a second.

651
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:49,988
Drinks are 50% off. Right.

652
00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:52,199
No, wait a second. Double
the price of everything!

653
00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:53,373
Yes, sir.

654
00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:56,832
Narrator: While snidely
celebrated Dudley's demise,

655
00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:58,629
Dudley was actually in Ottawa,

656
00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:02,005
telling the authorities
about snidely's evil scheme.

657
00:37:02,095 --> 00:37:05,587
What Dudley didn't know was that
snidely had friends in high places...

658
00:37:05,682 --> 00:37:07,673
What're you lookin' at?
As well as low.

659
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:11,472
Well, that is an amazing story
you tell, officer do-right.

660
00:37:11,688 --> 00:37:14,054
Thank you. I also know a story
about a hermit who kept...

661
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,730
But let's say you're wrong. Hmm?

662
00:37:15,817 --> 00:37:17,682
I mean, wouldn't
a rumor like that

663
00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:21,611
destroy the suddenly burgeoning
economy of your little town?

664
00:37:21,698 --> 00:37:24,593
That's what snidely whiplash said, but
he didn't use the word "burgeoning."

665
00:37:24,617 --> 00:37:26,699
Well, this Mr. whiplash
sounds like a very

666
00:37:26,786 --> 00:37:28,697
community-minded fellow to me.

667
00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:31,325
Oh, come on, wake up.
He's the bad guy.

668
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:33,372
Just look at the way
he dresses! Duh.

669
00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:35,333
Ah, but is he really?

670
00:37:35,879 --> 00:37:38,712
I mean, here we have
millions of American dollars

671
00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:42,256
pouring into an otherwise
impoverished section of Canada.

672
00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:44,629
I mean, strike me several times
with a blunt instrument,

673
00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:46,382
but, that's not good?

674
00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:49,010
But it's wrong! And as you
can tell from my name...

675
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:51,216
But isn't it sometimes difficult

676
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:53,677
to discern the line between
right and wrong? Hmm?

677
00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:55,182
Uh...

678
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,638
Not for him. He's a mountie.

679
00:37:56,983 --> 00:37:59,349
For these guys, things are
either right or they are wrong.

680
00:37:59,444 --> 00:38:00,775
Boom, boom, cut and dried.

681
00:38:00,862 --> 00:38:02,318
Discern that, why don't you?

682
00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:03,655
Hmm.

683
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,319
Gold! I found gold!

684
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:08,741
Man: He found gold!

685
00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:12,654
Right!

686
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:14,660
We'll build the
hotel on this side,

687
00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:16,958
and we'll put the
condominiums on that side

688
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:18,660
so people can walk
right up to the river.

689
00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:19,870
I love it, whip.

690
00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:20,964
Yes, I thought you might.

691
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:22,084
I bet everyone loves it.

692
00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:25,337
Yeah, well, I don't.

693
00:38:25,428 --> 00:38:26,634
It does have some problems.

694
00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:27,721
It's not perfect.

695
00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:28,841
Oh, but it is perfect.

696
00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:33,634
You know, boys, you're the
best gang I've ever had.

697
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,264
Thanks, whip.

698
00:38:35,772 --> 00:38:37,308
Particularly you, uh...

699
00:38:37,398 --> 00:38:38,513
Homer. Homer.

700
00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:40,098
Oh, gosh, I...

701
00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:43,276
Dudley: Morning, boys!

702
00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:48,648
"Do-gooder heaven," eh?

703
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,866
Back to the slaw-dogs
stand with you!

704
00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:52,694
I know. I know.

705
00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:00,622
Hello?

706
00:39:00,713 --> 00:39:01,713
Nell?

707
00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:02,878
Dudley?

708
00:39:02,966 --> 00:39:04,502
Nell, have you seen
my office lately?

709
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:05,798
Well, not lately, Dudley.

710
00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:07,466
Why? Have you done
something with it?

711
00:39:07,554 --> 00:39:10,216
Well, no, but someone has.

712
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,513
Dudley, father's come back.

713
00:39:12,809 --> 00:39:14,595
I'm afraid he's got
some bad news.

714
00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:15,846
Where are you?

715
00:39:15,937 --> 00:39:18,724
Oh, Dudley, you know how
bad I am with directions.

716
00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:20,680
Are you in a car?

717
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,982
Yes, but it stopped.

718
00:39:23,403 --> 00:39:25,439
Nell? Uh, Nell?

719
00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:29,656
Nell, I think I'm gonna have
to call you back, Nell.

720
00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:31,278
We've got a bad connection.

721
00:39:34,581 --> 00:39:35,661
Inspector!

722
00:39:36,666 --> 00:39:38,031
At ease, do-right.

723
00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:42,577
Why, it does this old heart of
mine good to see you again, sir.

724
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:45,459
You're my hero, sir.
You're my role model!

725
00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:48,007
Dudley, you're finished
as a mountie.

726
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:50,710
Get your horse
and clear out of here.

727
00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:52,132
Horse ran away.

728
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:56,599
Oh, dear. Oh, I'm so sorry
to hear that. Nell?

729
00:39:56,686 --> 00:39:58,597
Oh, I can't watch.
I just can't watch.

730
00:39:58,688 --> 00:40:01,475
Uh, your father's joshing me about
being drummed out of the service.

731
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,806
It's... it's very funny.

732
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:05,643
I'm not joshing you
even the tiniest bit.

733
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,978
The highest level
of the Canadian government

734
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:10,905
has called me out of retirement
to replace you here.

735
00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:13,738
Oh, I know what this is about.

736
00:40:13,953 --> 00:40:15,973
I was supposed to have a
meeting with snidely whiplash,

737
00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:17,737
but I completely
forgot about it.

738
00:40:17,832 --> 00:40:19,163
And then I went
to Ottawa instead.

739
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:20,911
And then Ottawa called on me.

740
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:24,540
Now, give me your uniform
and your sidearm, and leave.

741
00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:26,170
My uniform, sir?

742
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,088
Oh, I'm sorry, Dudley.

743
00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:31,134
This is a very sad moment.

744
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:33,552
Uh, yes, inspector,
it certainly is.

745
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:17,304
Narrator:
He had lost his uniform.

746
00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,132
He had lost his horse.

747
00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:22,310
Dudley's dreams were shattered.

748
00:41:22,689 --> 00:41:24,395
Hello. Remember me?

749
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:26,564
I was on Regis and kathie Lee.

750
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:29,358
Yeah, I was, honestly. Last week.
Only last week.

751
00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:32,653
It was very good. I was
on Regis and kathie Lee.

752
00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:35,819
Hello. I know
Bette midler personally.

753
00:41:36,577 --> 00:41:40,320
Hi! It's me! I was on Regis
and kathie Lee last week.

754
00:41:40,415 --> 00:41:41,415
Hey!

755
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:43,039
I know you.

756
00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:46,747
You're Dudley do-right of the
royal Canadian mounted police.

757
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:51,047
I never forget a face, although
a name sometimes escapes me.

758
00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:56,386
Sir, I lost my job today,
my horse ran away...

759
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,432
And I'd really like to be alone
right now, if you don't mind.

760
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:03,931
No chance, pal. I am
your new best friend.

761
00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:05,353
I don't have any friends.

762
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:06,725
Hey, you got me, pal.

763
00:42:06,816 --> 00:42:08,272
I don't even have a home.

764
00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:09,565
Ohl

765
00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:12,860
wait till you see my place!

766
00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:16,989
Narrator: Meanwhile, whiplash
had begun his evil campaign

767
00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:21,410
to win the affections of the fair Nell
fenwick and to impress her father.

768
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:25,035
Let us hope they can see right
through this scheming cad!

769
00:42:25,126 --> 00:42:26,126
Sorry.

770
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:28,496
May I recommend the
salt COD bouillabaisse,

771
00:42:28,588 --> 00:42:32,126
followed by the buckwheat crepes
with tangerine reduction.

772
00:42:32,925 --> 00:42:34,711
Um, okay. Father?

773
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:39,045
Sounds delectable. But for
me, hold the fennel seed.

774
00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,255
Very wise choice, inspector.
Very wise.

775
00:42:41,350 --> 00:42:42,385
Oh, thank you.

776
00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:54,690
You drank too much last night.

777
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:58,194
Did 1? I feel pretty good. Yeah.

778
00:42:58,701 --> 00:42:59,861
You know,

779
00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:01,408
the line between right and wrong

780
00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:04,158
is oftentimes
difficult to discern.

781
00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:06,785
Yeah. I was just
thinking that myself.

782
00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:09,913
Snidely whiplash has brought
prosperity to semi-happy valley.

783
00:43:10,338 --> 00:43:12,329
He's turned this
nowhere town around.

784
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:14,209
Of course, he ran off
all the old residents.

785
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,256
Yeah, well,
it's all about greed.

786
00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:18,543
You're right! That's it!

787
00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:21,801
It is greed! That's all it is.
It's just greed!

788
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:23,051
Dudley... -.

789
00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:25,929
Please don't make any sudden moves
around me this morning, all right?

790
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:27,260
Here's what I don't understand.

791
00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:29,290
What happens when
all the gold runs out?

792
00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:31,765
Uh, why, it's never
gonna run out.

793
00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:32,859
It's not?

794
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:35,026
No, no, no.
Whiplash is too smart.

795
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:38,943
Narrator: Snidely was smart enough
to keep the gold coming in,

796
00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:41,024
so the profits
would keep coming in.

797
00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:43,610
Smart enough to own
his own helicopter,

798
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:45,160
smart enough to have won over

799
00:43:45,248 --> 00:43:48,456
every government authority
within 2,000 miles.

800
00:43:48,543 --> 00:43:51,785
But was he smart enough
to outwit a pathetic bum

801
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:55,121
and the only man to be thrown out
of the mounties in 100 years?

802
00:43:55,967 --> 00:43:57,832
We'll have to see about that.

803
00:43:57,927 --> 00:43:59,212
Dudley: I don't see anything.

804
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:01,763
A-ha!

805
00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:06,091
See? That's where they
melt down the gold,

806
00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:07,516
so they can salt it at night.

807
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:15,141
Dudley: Whiplash.

808
00:44:19,448 --> 00:44:22,565
Would you look how popular snidely is?
That's not right.

809
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,700
Kim: Oh, people always
suck up to the guy in charge.

810
00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:26,027
You know that. It's like life.

811
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,905
I say we go down there
and arrest them all.

812
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,536
Oh, I don't think so. Why not?

813
00:44:30,626 --> 00:44:32,036
I'll give you three
good reasons.

814
00:44:32,128 --> 00:44:34,314
I'd like to start with the second
one first, if that's okay with you.

815
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:35,794
Mmm-hmm. Okay.

816
00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:39,466
Two, we go down there,
they'll kill us.

817
00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:42,088
One, you're not
a mountie anymore.

818
00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:45,092
And three, they're not
doing anything illegal.

819
00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:46,326
But we've gotta do something!

820
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,465
No!

821
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,221
You gotta do something.

822
00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:51,519
I just wanted to show
you what was going on.

823
00:44:54,567 --> 00:44:55,727
What's my next move?

824
00:44:56,402 --> 00:44:59,735
Well, you could,
uh, steal the gold,

825
00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:02,313
before they can salt it, and
that way, end of gold rush.

826
00:45:02,408 --> 00:45:05,445
What? Me, steal?
Me, break the law?

827
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:06,616
Sadly, yeah.

828
00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:08,114
But then I'd be Dudley do-wrong.

829
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:09,366
Do-wrong's nice. I like that.

830
00:45:09,415 --> 00:45:11,656
It's kind of, uh... it's
kind of French, you know?

831
00:45:11,751 --> 00:45:13,287
Dudley do-wrong.

832
00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:15,834
I'm so confused.

833
00:45:16,297 --> 00:45:18,583
It's not
that complicated, Dudley.

834
00:45:18,674 --> 00:45:20,790
The bad guy, snidely whiplash,

835
00:45:20,885 --> 00:45:22,716
is apparently doing good.

836
00:45:22,803 --> 00:45:24,794
Ergo, putting you, the good guy,

837
00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:26,845
in the position of having
to be the bad guy.

838
00:45:26,933 --> 00:45:28,133
Well, not exactly the bad guy.

839
00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:30,015
Let's say the badder guy.

840
00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:32,889
But let me remind you, that
just as a bad guy doing good

841
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:35,062
does not necessarily
make him the good guy,

842
00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:40,018
so a good guy doing bad does not,
ipso facto, make him a bad guy.

843
00:45:41,030 --> 00:45:43,567
This can't be happening.
He can't be the good guy.

844
00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:44,864
But he is.

845
00:45:44,951 --> 00:45:46,316
The good citizens
of whiplash city

846
00:45:46,410 --> 00:45:48,776
are throwing a gala ball
in his honor tonight.

847
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:50,824
For snidely?

848
00:45:50,915 --> 00:45:53,782
Band: He likes bread and butter

849
00:45:53,876 --> 00:45:55,832
he likes toast and jam

850
00:45:56,796 --> 00:45:58,536
that's what his baby feeds him

851
00:46:00,007 --> 00:46:01,838
he's her lovin' man

852
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:10,052
I don't believe it.
They love him!

853
00:46:10,142 --> 00:46:11,552
You better believe it.

854
00:46:11,644 --> 00:46:13,134
He is the good guy!

855
00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:15,765
Yeah, not to mention
the fact that he's got Nell.

856
00:46:15,856 --> 00:46:18,893
No. Maybe it's just
someone who looks like her.

857
00:46:23,072 --> 00:46:24,608
Nah, that's Nell.

858
00:46:29,745 --> 00:46:31,235
It is Nell!

859
00:46:32,456 --> 00:46:36,495
I can't believe
that this is happening to me!

860
00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:39,710
Sorry. It's okay.

861
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,708
I better go do
something about this.

862
00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:45,291
No, wait! You're not ready.
You're not trained.

863
00:46:45,386 --> 00:46:48,970
Sometimes it's one with big
blue eyes cute as a bunny

864
00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,592
with hair down to here

865
00:46:50,683 --> 00:46:52,139
and plenty of money

866
00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:55,309
and just when you think
she's that one in the world

867
00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:58,888
your heart gets stolen
by some mousy little girl

868
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:05,645
then you know you better
make up your mind

869
00:47:05,740 --> 00:47:08,823
and pick up on one
ahd leave the other behind

870
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:11,821
it's not often easy
and not often kind

871
00:47:11,912 --> 00:47:14,369
did you ever have
to make up your mind?

872
00:47:59,377 --> 00:48:02,915
Sometimes you really dig a
girl the moment you kiss her

873
00:48:03,005 --> 00:48:06,042
then you get distracted
by her older sister

874
00:48:06,133 --> 00:48:09,000
when in walks her father
and takes you in line

875
00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:11,757
you better go home, son
and make up your mind

876
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:14,589
then you bet you
better finally decide

877
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:18,676
to say yes to one
and let the other one ride

878
00:48:18,771 --> 00:48:21,513
there's so many changes
and tears you must hide

879
00:48:21,607 --> 00:48:24,189
did you ever have
to finally decide?

880
00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:36,285
Well done!

881
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:42,329
Oh, this is gonna
take a lot of work.

882
00:48:42,628 --> 00:48:45,228
Narrator: And who better fo do that
work than Kim darling himself?

883
00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:48,164
A grown man with an extensive
pokémon collection.

884
00:48:48,259 --> 00:48:49,669
My son,

885
00:48:49,969 --> 00:48:55,180
the hero defeats danger, because
he is dangerous himself.

886
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:58,261
You are dangerous.

887
00:48:58,352 --> 00:49:00,263
Know it. Say it.

888
00:49:00,563 --> 00:49:02,849
You are dangerous.

889
00:49:05,067 --> 00:49:08,355
No. Say, "I am dangerous."

890
00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:09,526
I did.

891
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:12,070
No, say, "I am dangerous."

892
00:49:12,158 --> 00:49:13,238
You are dangerous.

893
00:49:13,325 --> 00:49:16,362
No, no, no. You say,
"I am dangerous."

894
00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:18,490
But you said... oh, never mind.

895
00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:22,240
The hero must face three trials.

896
00:49:22,585 --> 00:49:25,292
Trust, daring, instinct.

897
00:49:25,671 --> 00:49:28,504
For the sake of consistency,
we'll start with number two.

898
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:30,668
Daring!

899
00:49:33,846 --> 00:49:36,508
Okay, now. I am your adversary.

900
00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:38,430
I am evil.

901
00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:41,680
Evil! Evil!

902
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:43,515
You're evil.

903
00:49:43,606 --> 00:49:47,519
Yes. And now I'm going to
draw this line in the sand.

904
00:49:48,944 --> 00:49:51,981
Now, do not dare
cross that line,

905
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:55,280
otherwise, evil will
rain down upon you.

906
00:49:55,367 --> 00:49:56,652
Evil!

907
00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,615
No, now, look, Dudley, you...

908
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,537
You're supposed to take
me up on my challenge

909
00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:04,331
by showing me
how daring you are.

910
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:06,249
Let's try it
once again, shall we?

911
00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:11,172
I am evil! Now, do not
dare cross that line!

912
00:50:11,467 --> 00:50:15,506
I am evil! Evil!

913
00:50:17,223 --> 00:50:19,464
Well, what? You said I'm not
supposed to cross the line!

914
00:50:19,558 --> 00:50:21,640
But you're supposed
to cross the line!

915
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:22,807
Now, let's try it again.

916
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:27,183
Okay, now. Do not dare
cross the line of death.

917
00:50:28,317 --> 00:50:32,026
I am evil! I am evil!

918
00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:36,029
What'd you do that for?

919
00:50:36,450 --> 00:50:39,942
'Cause I'm evil.
I can't help it. Sorry.

920
00:50:40,829 --> 00:50:43,070
Eight, nine, ten.

921
00:50:43,582 --> 00:50:44,582
Trust.

922
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,581
The hero trusts.

923
00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:49,160
Now, I will throw
some stones at you,

924
00:50:49,255 --> 00:50:50,665
missing intentionally,
of course,

925
00:50:50,756 --> 00:50:54,340
and you will not flinch as
they whiz past your head,

926
00:50:54,426 --> 00:50:55,791
because you trust me.

927
00:50:56,262 --> 00:50:57,923
I trust you, master. Good!

928
00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:04,342
Sorry, but that was very good.
You trusted me, okay?

929
00:51:08,107 --> 00:51:09,938
Perfect! You didn't
flinch at all.

930
00:51:11,193 --> 00:51:12,603
Just one more, okay?

931
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:21,984
Excellent! Absolutely!
Trust is your middle name.

932
00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:27,407
A little less moaning
would be good.

933
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,913
The final test. Instinct.

934
00:51:30,296 --> 00:51:33,003
You will fight me without
benefit of eyesight.

935
00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:35,877
You will block my every blow,

936
00:51:35,968 --> 00:51:38,710
because you can see
without your eyes,

937
00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:40,715
you can hear without your ears,

938
00:51:40,806 --> 00:51:42,387
you can speak
without your tongue.

939
00:51:42,474 --> 00:51:43,474
Yes, master.

940
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:44,719
I said without your tongue.

941
00:51:45,978 --> 00:51:48,720
Now, your sword is your stick.

942
00:51:48,814 --> 00:51:50,975
The stick is your defense.

943
00:51:51,066 --> 00:51:54,479
Prepare to defeat me.
Are you ready?

944
00:51:57,156 --> 00:51:59,272
Very good, indeed,
the hopping foot defense.

945
00:52:00,868 --> 00:52:02,824
Very good! The other
foot hopping defense.

946
00:52:02,911 --> 00:52:05,618
Wonderful! You're at
one with the universe.

947
00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:08,197
And now, concentrate.

948
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:10,829
Prepare to receive
my final assault.

949
00:52:13,797 --> 00:52:16,254
Wonderful.
The playing-dead defense.

950
00:52:16,342 --> 00:52:18,583
Master... good choice
under the circumstances.

951
00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:20,588
You'll be all right, my son,

952
00:52:20,679 --> 00:52:22,795
providing they don't
attack you with sticks.

953
00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:30,268
Narrator: With his master's
lesson ringing in his ears,

954
00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:32,472
Dudley set off
in search of justice...

955
00:52:32,566 --> 00:52:33,566
You are ready, my son.

956
00:52:33,651 --> 00:52:34,794
And extra-strength Tylenol.

957
00:52:34,818 --> 00:52:37,088
You're ready because you've taken
everything I can throw at you

958
00:52:37,112 --> 00:52:39,148
and still you stand
tall and true.

959
00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:41,647
You are ready to face danger,

960
00:52:41,742 --> 00:52:43,607
because you are danger.

961
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:47,282
Now, get out there
and do something dangerous.

962
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:55,286
No! Please don't!

963
00:52:55,381 --> 00:52:58,999
Dudley: Then tell me when the
next gold delivery arrives.

964
00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:00,549
I don't know.

965
00:53:00,636 --> 00:53:04,254
Well, then I'm afraid we're gonna
find out which is your better side.

966
00:53:04,348 --> 00:53:05,884
You're a mountie.

967
00:53:05,974 --> 00:53:07,805
Not anymore.

968
00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:10,225
The gold's coming... the gold's
coming at noon on Thursday.

969
00:53:10,312 --> 00:53:11,768
Noon Thursday. Thank you.

970
00:53:12,147 --> 00:53:14,684
Now, if I can just figure
out how to stop this thing.

971
00:53:14,775 --> 00:53:15,810
What?

972
00:53:15,901 --> 00:53:17,482
Whoa! That's not it.

973
00:53:17,569 --> 00:53:18,604
Ooh! Ouch!

974
00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:32,410
Just papier-mache. Completely
recyclable material.

975
00:53:32,835 --> 00:53:35,872
What kind of man
are you anyway, do-right?

976
00:53:36,422 --> 00:53:38,458
A dangerous one.

977
00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:08,950
Man: He's got the gold!

978
00:54:09,037 --> 00:54:10,322
After him, boys!

979
00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:27,669
Narrator: He may have
been outnumbered,

980
00:54:27,765 --> 00:54:31,132
but Dudley knew these woods
like the back of his horse.

981
00:55:46,885 --> 00:55:48,216
Whoo-hoo!

982
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:03,102
Do you have any idea what
this could possibly mean?

983
00:56:04,069 --> 00:56:05,559
Doris day.

984
00:56:08,115 --> 00:56:09,275
Just a guess.

985
00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:10,526
Dom delluise.

986
00:56:10,617 --> 00:56:11,617
Homer: Daniel day-Lewis.

987
00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:12,702
Snoop doggy dogg.

988
00:56:12,786 --> 00:56:13,786
Man: Daphne du maurier.

989
00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:14,871
Oh, shut up.

990
00:56:14,955 --> 00:56:15,955
Doc duvalier.

991
00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:17,870
Lefty: David duchovny?
Man: Delores del rio.

992
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:19,243
Shut up, you idiots!

993
00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:20,665
Dan rather.

994
00:56:25,507 --> 00:56:27,088
Dudley do-right.

995
00:56:27,175 --> 00:56:29,791
You think do-right has got the
guts for something like this?

996
00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:31,423
Of course I do.

997
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:32,840
Wow!

998
00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:35,047
You realize what
this means, don't you?

999
00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:36,928
He's becoming the bad guy.

1000
00:56:37,603 --> 00:56:38,968
Where does that leave me?

1001
00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:41,178
I used to be the bad guy.

1002
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,271
If he's capable of doing this,

1003
00:56:43,358 --> 00:56:47,351
who knows what other really fun,
bad-guy stuff he's been doing.

1004
00:56:49,156 --> 00:56:50,566
Narrator:
What other stuff, indeed?

1005
00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:51,942
"David duchovny."

1006
00:56:52,284 --> 00:56:56,072
For snidely was about to discover
a crime so low, so hideous,

1007
00:56:56,163 --> 00:56:58,495
it had to involve toilet paper.

1008
00:57:03,045 --> 00:57:04,501
Oh, man.

1009
00:57:06,131 --> 00:57:10,124
What a bleak and rimy day.

1010
00:57:10,469 --> 00:57:13,586
Something like this just makes
you sick to your stomach.

1011
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,636
Snidely: Don't touch me!

1012
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:21,885
Where are you going?

1013
00:57:21,980 --> 00:57:25,063
Oh, well, my work
is done here now, Dudley.

1014
00:57:25,150 --> 00:57:27,983
So it's time for me
to rejoin my family.

1015
00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,269
You have a family?

1016
00:57:30,364 --> 00:57:32,901
Yeah, well,
it's a long story, but...

1017
00:57:33,325 --> 00:57:35,782
Basically, I was...
I was lost like you.

1018
00:57:36,495 --> 00:57:38,406
I wasn't a hero to
anyone, not even myself.

1019
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:41,659
No one ever really
believed in me...

1020
00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:44,241
But I feel you're my friend now,
and that you believe in me.

1021
00:57:45,337 --> 00:57:48,079
And that gives me the strength
to rejoin my loved ones.

1022
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:50,205
If I can find them.

1023
00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:53,918
I'm a new man, Dudley,
thanks to you.

1024
00:57:54,721 --> 00:57:56,052
What about the chain saw?

1025
00:57:56,139 --> 00:57:58,926
Oh! Uh... parting gift.

1026
00:57:59,017 --> 00:58:00,757
Family tradition. Don't ask.

1027
00:58:00,852 --> 00:58:02,388
Aw. Thank you.

1028
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:04,971
Use it in peace, not war.

1029
00:58:05,524 --> 00:58:06,934
You can count on me.

1030
00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:11,435
My son.

1031
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:18,491
My master.

1032
00:58:27,129 --> 00:58:28,209
Ah!

1033
00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:31,459
Oh, that's lovely, whip.

1034
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,667
The play of light,
the chiaroscuro shading...

1035
00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:36,126
Shut up, homer.

1036
00:58:36,430 --> 00:58:37,636
You got it, whip.

1037
00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:42,466
What was that?

1038
00:59:01,788 --> 00:59:02,903
Do-right!

1039
00:59:08,837 --> 00:59:10,168
Well, snidely.

1040
00:59:10,255 --> 00:59:13,292
Posing as an artist to gain
young Nell's favor, eh?

1041
00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:14,793
Stop the music!

1042
00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:18,175
He's quite talented, Dudley.

1043
00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:20,796
It's paint-by-numbers.

1044
00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:24,675
I can't tell you how hard it is to keep
the paint inside those teeny lines.

1045
00:59:24,770 --> 00:59:28,354
Wait a minute. You're wearing black.
That's my color.

1046
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:29,850
I'm the bad guy.

1047
00:59:29,941 --> 00:59:31,932
But you're not
wearing black, snidely.

1048
00:59:32,027 --> 00:59:34,313
That's dark blue. It is not.

1049
00:59:34,404 --> 00:59:37,191
It is so. It's Navy.
See for yourself.

1050
00:59:38,366 --> 00:59:40,277
Homer!

1051
00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:41,577
Yes, whip?

1052
00:59:41,661 --> 00:59:43,197
What am I doing wearing blue?

1053
00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:45,825
Well, whip, the black
one's at the cleaners

1054
00:59:45,916 --> 00:59:49,329
and I just wanna say you look
good in blue, you really do.

1055
00:59:49,419 --> 00:59:52,411
"I just want to
say, I just want to say."

1056
00:59:52,881 --> 00:59:57,796
Nell, you'll always think of me
as wearing black, won't you?

1057
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,505
Oh, I don't know, snidely.

1058
01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:07,889
You know, I don't think this portrait truly
captures Nell's preternatural beauty.

1059
01:00:07,979 --> 01:00:11,221
Oh, yes. Like you could
do better, mountie-boy?

1060
01:00:16,488 --> 01:00:18,024
Is that a challenge?

1061
01:00:18,198 --> 01:00:19,938
Absolutely.

1062
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:03,027
Ohl

1063
01:01:13,837 --> 01:01:17,125
Oh, Dudley. It's lovely.

1064
01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:22,675
Shall we, Nell?

1065
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:24,882
Ohl

1066
01:01:42,115 --> 01:01:44,527
You look really good
in green, whip.

1067
01:01:52,751 --> 01:01:54,867
He's a cunning adversary, homer,

1068
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:58,499
but not cunning enough to
outwit snidely k. Whiplash.

1069
01:02:00,258 --> 01:02:02,374
You are my role model, whip.

1070
01:02:03,261 --> 01:02:06,219
So, Dudley wants
to be the bad guy.

1071
01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:08,679
We'll see if the shoe fits.

1072
01:02:10,477 --> 01:02:12,092
What shoe, whip?

1073
01:02:12,187 --> 01:02:13,552
Oh, for Pete's sake.

1074
01:02:18,610 --> 01:02:21,647
We've all done our best
to make whiplash city

1075
01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,899
a place of peace and prosperity.

1076
01:02:23,990 --> 01:02:25,025
Man: Yes!

1077
01:02:25,116 --> 01:02:27,277
A place where we could all
make lots and lots of money,

1078
01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:28,779
without doing anything at all.

1079
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,451
That's how life should be.

1080
01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:34,785
But there's a man
trying to ruin all that.

1081
01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:35,911
This is the man.

1082
01:02:37,128 --> 01:02:38,606
Man: Hey, that's Dudley!
Woman: He's the good guy!

1083
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:40,541
This man is dangerous and evil.

1084
01:02:40,632 --> 01:02:42,232
Man 1: He's not evil!

1085
01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:44,040
Man 2: You're wrong, whiplash!

1086
01:02:44,135 --> 01:02:46,717
We must find him at once.

1087
01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:50,339
Gold miners
of whiplash city unite.

1088
01:02:50,433 --> 01:02:54,176
Dudley do-right must be
found and done away with.

1089
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,271
All: Nol

1090
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:56,811
he must be killed, you hear me?

1091
01:02:56,898 --> 01:02:58,388
All: No! No! No!

1092
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:06,609
Narrator: Yes, the tide had
turned against snidely.

1093
01:03:06,700 --> 01:03:09,487
The townspeople had grown
tired of whiplash city.

1094
01:03:09,577 --> 01:03:12,660
They wanted their town back
just the way it used to be.

1095
01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:15,534
So while snidely was growing
weaker by the minute,

1096
01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:17,832
Dudley was growing stronger.

1097
01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:23,372
Yo, Mr. do-right. Five minutes.

1098
01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:25,919
Thank you.

1099
01:04:50,136 --> 01:04:51,216
Bravo!

1100
01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:54,387
Narrator: Though Nell had witnessed
many examples of our hero's daring-do,

1101
01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:57,466
it took a dance number to
convince her that Dudley...

1102
01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,676
Nell: Dudley? ...Was studly.

1103
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:01,178
Dudley?

1104
01:05:04,776 --> 01:05:08,189
When I'm calling you

1105
01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:13,156
Dudley: When I'm calling you

1106
01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:14,528
Dudley?

1107
01:05:14,619 --> 01:05:17,986
Will you answer too?

1108
01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:23,332
Dudley.

1109
01:05:23,420 --> 01:05:24,455
Nell.

1110
01:05:24,546 --> 01:05:26,502
I love you now,
and I always have.

1111
01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:27,920
You really do, Nell?

1112
01:05:31,886 --> 01:05:33,046
All: Aw!

1113
01:05:33,430 --> 01:05:37,514
Narrator: Meanwhile, back at snidely's
secret hideout and day spa...

1114
01:05:38,351 --> 01:05:41,809
We have to find out where that
sniveling do-right is hiding.

1115
01:05:42,147 --> 01:05:45,059
I've got the men out combing
the countryside, whip.

1116
01:05:45,150 --> 01:05:46,230
Do you?

1117
01:05:49,988 --> 01:05:51,148
I'll get it.

1118
01:05:53,158 --> 01:05:54,318
Here.

1119
01:05:54,909 --> 01:05:56,319
Yeah, give it to me.

1120
01:05:56,411 --> 01:05:57,555
Hello.

1121
01:05:57,579 --> 01:05:58,694
What?

1122
01:05:59,330 --> 01:06:00,445
We found him.

1123
01:06:03,751 --> 01:06:05,616
This calls for a celebration.
Waiter!

1124
01:06:07,630 --> 01:06:09,086
Two mudslingers, please.

1125
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:16,299
Narrator: Snidely and his henchmen
immediately launched an all-out assault

1126
01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:17,925
on the kumquat nation.

1127
01:06:25,565 --> 01:06:26,645
It's whiplash.

1128
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:29,311
They just want me, chief.

1129
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:31,438
I'll go quietly.
This isn't your fight.

1130
01:06:31,529 --> 01:06:36,694
I'm backing you 110%,
and I mean that. So far.

1131
01:06:38,912 --> 01:06:39,947
You got weapons?

1132
01:06:40,038 --> 01:06:41,448
Weapons? Come on.

1133
01:06:41,539 --> 01:06:43,659
This is basically a dinner
theater we're runnin' here.

1134
01:06:45,460 --> 01:06:46,700
You got fireworks?

1135
01:06:46,794 --> 01:06:47,794
That we got.

1136
01:06:55,053 --> 01:06:56,088
Firel

1137
01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:06,685
They're just fireworks,
you sissies!

1138
01:07:07,649 --> 01:07:08,764
Be men!

1139
01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:32,954
That's the last of the fireworks.
Now what?

1140
01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:35,756
We'll take to the forest
and throw rocks at them.

1141
01:07:35,843 --> 01:07:36,843
Dudley: Rocks?

1142
01:07:36,928 --> 01:07:38,088
What else can we do?

1143
01:08:03,788 --> 01:08:04,948
The press here?

1144
01:08:05,039 --> 01:08:07,030
Yes, sir. They're up there
on the perimeter, sir.

1145
01:08:07,709 --> 01:08:08,824
Let's do it.

1146
01:08:24,976 --> 01:08:27,137
General whiplash,
the village is ours.

1147
01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:28,593
Torch it, Shane.
Burn everything.

1148
01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:29,688
Yes, sir.

1149
01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:30,852
No, wait a minute.

1150
01:08:31,649 --> 01:08:33,059
That's bad publicity.

1151
01:08:33,860 --> 01:08:37,352
Have the photographers take pictures of
the boys straightening up the place.

1152
01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:38,653
You got it.

1153
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,980
Learn from history or repeat it.

1154
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:43,616
Come on, chief.

1155
01:08:44,329 --> 01:08:45,444
I gotta stop.

1156
01:08:46,372 --> 01:08:48,283
You can make it.
You're a young man.

1157
01:08:48,374 --> 01:08:51,286
Don't let this face-lift fool you.
I'm 62.

1158
01:08:53,212 --> 01:08:54,372
On second thought.

1159
01:09:01,179 --> 01:09:03,636
Ouch! Okay, hold it.
Hold it right there.

1160
01:09:03,723 --> 01:09:06,260
Hold your fire. Hold your fire.
Hold your fire!

1161
01:09:08,227 --> 01:09:10,138
Somebody hit me with a rock.

1162
01:09:10,229 --> 01:09:11,549
It was one of them
Indian dancers.

1163
01:09:12,649 --> 01:09:15,516
Right. That's it.
Now I'm heated.

1164
01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:19,022
Narrator: Not since their
all-male revival of little women

1165
01:09:19,113 --> 01:09:21,695
had the kumquats faced
such a hostile reception.

1166
01:09:21,783 --> 01:09:24,069
But the kumquats never
walked away from a fight.

1167
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:25,525
They preferred to run.

1168
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:30,701
Know what we need, chief?

1169
01:09:30,792 --> 01:09:32,248
Two weeks in Maui.

1170
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:34,417
No. Bigger rocks.

1171
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:10,328
That's not fair!
They've got rocks!

1172
01:10:10,415 --> 01:10:12,497
All we've got
are these machine guns.

1173
01:10:12,583 --> 01:10:14,574
Mother of Pearl,
here comes another one.

1174
01:10:16,254 --> 01:10:17,369
Let 'em have another one.

1175
01:10:17,463 --> 01:10:20,296
The next size down is this one.
We're out of the big stuff.

1176
01:10:20,383 --> 01:10:21,589
We're screwed.

1177
01:10:21,676 --> 01:10:23,086
No, we're not. Look!

1178
01:10:23,177 --> 01:10:24,758
It's my horse, horse.

1179
01:10:25,096 --> 01:10:26,836
Just like in my dream.

1180
01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:28,304
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

1181
01:10:28,391 --> 01:10:31,349
We're saved because that
flea-bitten nag showed up?

1182
01:10:31,436 --> 01:10:33,051
He's trying to tell
us to follow him.

1183
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:36,803
You know, Dudley, I think he's
just got a fly up his nose.

1184
01:10:40,361 --> 01:10:41,726
Come on, everybody!

1185
01:10:46,909 --> 01:10:49,946
We've got them on the run now.

1186
01:10:50,705 --> 01:10:52,821
They'll never make it
across the valley floor.

1187
01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:54,030
Homer! Yes, sir!

1188
01:10:54,125 --> 01:10:55,581
Time to bring up
the heavy equipment.

1189
01:10:55,668 --> 01:10:56,783
Yes, sir.

1190
01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:03,129
Move out!

1191
01:11:03,217 --> 01:11:05,173
Move, move, move, move!

1192
01:11:05,261 --> 01:11:07,217
Chief: I'm sorry. I gotta stop.

1193
01:11:07,305 --> 01:11:08,385
Come on, chief.

1194
01:11:08,473 --> 01:11:10,464
No. That's it. I'm finished.

1195
01:11:10,808 --> 01:11:13,015
I thought native north
Americans could run all day.

1196
01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:14,808
Oh, yeah, like
we're really Indians.

1197
01:11:14,896 --> 01:11:16,081
We're not leaving without you.

1198
01:11:16,105 --> 01:11:17,891
No, you guys go without me. Go!

1199
01:11:17,982 --> 01:11:20,473
You stood by me.
I'm gonna stand by you.

1200
01:11:20,568 --> 01:11:24,607
Oh, Dudley, I'm making
you an honorary kumquat.

1201
01:11:24,697 --> 01:11:26,153
That means a great
deal to me, chief.

1202
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:27,400
Forget about it.

1203
01:11:30,787 --> 01:11:32,573
He's a dead honorary kumquat.

1204
01:11:34,165 --> 01:11:35,371
Snidely: Roger.

1205
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:38,332
Tango, delta, foxtrot.

1206
01:11:41,672 --> 01:11:43,003
Shall we dance?

1207
01:11:44,884 --> 01:11:47,216
You gotta admit.
He comes prepared.

1208
01:11:55,561 --> 01:11:56,801
I think it's time to surrender.

1209
01:11:56,854 --> 01:11:57,969
Yeah, it looks like it.

1210
01:11:59,524 --> 01:12:01,810
Horse: Tanks.

1211
01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:03,812
He's got another
bug up his nose.

1212
01:12:03,903 --> 01:12:04,983
No.

1213
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:07,312
He's telling me he wants
me to attack the tanks.

1214
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:10,364
Is that good, taking
advice from a horse?

1215
01:12:10,451 --> 01:12:11,657
Yes, it is.

1216
01:12:11,744 --> 01:12:14,076
You know they got a brain
about the size of a pea.

1217
01:12:14,163 --> 01:12:16,575
That's nuts.
Not to mention stupid.

1218
01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:18,122
I think it's wonderful.

1219
01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:19,574
Don't worry.
I'll save you, Nell.

1220
01:12:22,213 --> 01:12:23,544
Dudley.

1221
01:12:24,841 --> 01:12:27,082
Homer, let him have it.

1222
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:46,442
Come to daddy.

1223
01:12:53,035 --> 01:12:54,991
That's it. End of game.

1224
01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:24,309
Curses! Where did
they come from?

1225
01:13:26,611 --> 01:13:28,522
Come back here, you cowards!

1226
01:13:30,156 --> 01:13:31,191
General!

1227
01:14:05,316 --> 01:14:06,316
Ohl

1228
01:14:11,697 --> 01:14:13,312
Good horse, horse.

1229
01:14:20,247 --> 01:14:21,737
Snidely: You know, homer,

1230
01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:25,492
this is the part of the job
I hate the most, the ending.

1231
01:14:26,128 --> 01:14:29,291
Up until then, being the bad guy
is the best job in the world.

1232
01:14:31,550 --> 01:14:33,882
Ah. Hello, Dudley.

1233
01:14:34,387 --> 01:14:35,467
Hello, whip.

1234
01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:37,970
I've lost everything.

1235
01:14:38,307 --> 01:14:40,047
Even the announcer's gone.

1236
01:14:40,142 --> 01:14:41,882
Narrator: No, I'm still here.

1237
01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:44,685
Someone's got to explain
where the cavalry came from.

1238
01:14:44,772 --> 01:14:46,012
Yes.

1239
01:14:46,691 --> 01:14:49,228
I was a mite curious
about that myself.

1240
01:14:52,530 --> 01:14:53,770
Dudley!

1241
01:14:55,533 --> 01:14:56,648
Kim!

1242
01:14:57,034 --> 01:14:59,776
Narrator: Yes, the prospector
had found his long lost family.

1243
01:14:59,870 --> 01:15:01,485
The search was
greatly simplified

1244
01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:03,195
when Kim spotted
his wife on television,

1245
01:15:03,290 --> 01:15:06,282
as she was being sworn in
as prime minister of Canada.

1246
01:15:06,377 --> 01:15:08,663
It was she who called
out the cavalry.

1247
01:15:09,171 --> 01:15:10,286
That was lucky, wasn't it?

1248
01:15:10,381 --> 01:15:11,461
Boy, I'll say.

1249
01:15:11,549 --> 01:15:14,712
Narrator: And that's because good
things happen to good people

1250
01:15:14,802 --> 01:15:17,509
and bad things happen
to bad people.

1251
01:15:18,431 --> 01:15:19,491
What's the problem, officer?

1252
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:21,426
I was only going
25 miles an hour.

1253
01:15:21,684 --> 01:15:26,394
Well, that's the last we'll see
of them for a long, long time.

1254
01:15:26,772 --> 01:15:28,979
Don't count on it, bugle boy.

1255
01:15:29,066 --> 01:15:31,808
No jail can hold
snidely k. Whiplash.

1256
01:15:31,902 --> 01:15:33,483
Oh, shut up, homer.

1257
01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:35,064
Sure thing, whip.

1258
01:15:37,575 --> 01:15:40,658
Do-right, would you
allow me the honor

1259
01:15:40,745 --> 01:15:44,658
of presenting you
with your old uniform

1260
01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:47,411
and the thanks
of a grateful nation?

1261
01:15:48,377 --> 01:15:49,708
Thank you, inspector.

1262
01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:53,587
All: Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!

1263
01:15:53,674 --> 01:15:56,131
Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!

1264
01:15:57,261 --> 01:16:00,924
Narrator: Yes, Dudley now has
everything a mountie could ever want.

1265
01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:05,384
His fort, his girl and a swell
collection of foofy pillows.

1266
01:16:07,521 --> 01:16:08,601
Nell.

1267
01:16:11,108 --> 01:16:12,108
Ohl

1268
01:16:12,735 --> 01:16:13,815
Dudley!

1269
01:16:20,034 --> 01:16:21,365
Whoo! Ooh!

1270
01:16:22,244 --> 01:16:23,984
Nell! Dudley!

1271
01:16:27,249 --> 01:16:28,249
On.