1 00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:53,017 I didn't go to my high school reunion. 2 00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:57,001 So when my high school sweetheart called me for a reunion, 3 00:00:57,003 --> 00:00:59,013 I was curious to see if he looked like the boy 4 00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:01,019 I used to make out with in front of my locker. 5 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,997 Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to chemistry class? 6 00:01:04,005 --> 00:01:06,005 Actually, he looked better. 7 00:01:06,013 --> 00:01:10,023 Oh, my God. Jeremy! Wow. 8 00:01:10,023 --> 00:01:12,023 That's my name, don't wear it out. 9 00:01:12,019 --> 00:01:15,999 Oh, wow. You look great. 10 00:01:16,003 --> 00:01:18,013 I knew you looked great, 'cause I saw you on the cover of your book. 11 00:01:18,015 --> 00:01:19,005 Oh... 12 00:01:19,016 --> 00:01:20,996 But I have to say, even better in person. 13 00:01:21,004 --> 00:01:23,014 Oh, God, I'm so glad you called. 14 00:01:23,011 --> 00:01:26,001 I'm gonna be spending the month in Connecticut so... 15 00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:27,005 I had to look you up. 16 00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,000 Wow. Well, how are you? 17 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,005 I heard that you married somebody 18 00:01:30,012 --> 00:01:31,022 that you met in business school. 19 00:01:31,018 --> 00:01:34,008 Yeah, no, I got divorced, like, two years ago. 20 00:01:34,013 --> 00:01:37,003 Really miscalculated that one. 21 00:01:37,006 --> 00:01:38,016 So, I'm on my own again. 22 00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:40,011 Oh. Oh. 23 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:41,010 How about you? 24 00:01:41,014 --> 00:01:43,014 Are you seeing anybody, or... 25 00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:44,010 Nope. 26 00:01:44,011 --> 00:01:46,011 -Wide open. -How is that possible? 27 00:01:46,013 --> 00:01:49,013 Well, my high school boyfriend spoiled me for life. 28 00:01:49,016 --> 00:01:51,996 Right, me and my AMC Pacer. 29 00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:56,004 Oh, the Pacer! Oh, man. 30 00:01:56,004 --> 00:01:58,024 I put our names down for a table... 31 00:01:58,019 --> 00:01:59,019 Oh, great. 32 00:01:59,017 --> 00:02:00,997 But earlier you said maybe 33 00:02:01,002 --> 00:02:03,012 -you might have dinner plans. -Oh. 34 00:02:03,008 --> 00:02:05,008 Was that in case I turned out to be a... 35 00:02:06,014 --> 00:02:07,024 Yeah, maybe. 36 00:02:08,001 --> 00:02:14,021 But um, my fictional plans fell through, so I'm available. 37 00:02:14,023 --> 00:02:17,003 -Miranda had no plans that night, 38 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:19,003 so she was thrilled when her cute new neighbor 39 00:02:19,003 --> 00:02:20,003 stopped by. 40 00:02:20,002 --> 00:02:22,022 -Hey! -Oh, hey. 41 00:02:22,020 --> 00:02:24,010 I didn't think you'd be home on a Saturday night. 42 00:02:24,016 --> 00:02:25,016 Motherhood. 43 00:02:27,002 --> 00:02:28,022 So what's my excuse? 44 00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:31,010 I just got Brady to sleep. 45 00:02:31,014 --> 00:02:33,004 Now, do you sing to him? 46 00:02:33,002 --> 00:02:34,012 Only if he's been bad. 47 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:39,000 So, listen, I, um, I have these two courtside seats 48 00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:39,996 for the Knicks' charity game 49 00:02:40,004 --> 00:02:42,004 at The Garden next Friday night. 50 00:02:42,004 --> 00:02:43,004 Would you want to go? 51 00:02:43,006 --> 00:02:44,016 I would love to. 52 00:02:44,022 --> 00:02:46,012 Great. 53 00:02:47,015 --> 00:02:48,995 Great, I'll look for you there. 54 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:53,013 Oh, okay. Thanks so much. 55 00:02:54,003 --> 00:02:55,003 Goodnight. 56 00:02:56,002 --> 00:02:57,012 You too. 57 00:02:57,016 --> 00:03:00,006 Miranda wasn't sure if it was a charity game, 58 00:03:00,008 --> 00:03:02,018 or just charity. 59 00:03:02,018 --> 00:03:05,998 Hey, I didn't even ask what you were doing in Connecticut. 60 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:08,013 Nothing... well, for a change. 61 00:03:08,016 --> 00:03:12,016 I spent the last decade working my ass off in Denver, 62 00:03:12,019 --> 00:03:15,019 so I decided to take a month off, 63 00:03:15,023 --> 00:03:17,023 and spend some time at sea-level. 64 00:03:17,018 --> 00:03:19,998 So I've just been relaxing in the country, 65 00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:21,023 sorting through some things, you know. 66 00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:24,009 Yeah, sometimes you need to get away. 67 00:03:26,015 --> 00:03:29,005 Sometimes you wonder why you stayed away so long. 68 00:03:35,002 --> 00:03:36,002 Well... 69 00:03:36,006 --> 00:03:36,996 Ah. 70 00:03:37,004 --> 00:03:38,014 This is my place. 71 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,020 It's a nice place. 72 00:03:41,018 --> 00:03:42,018 Yeah. 73 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,002 I love it here. 74 00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:49,021 I, I feel like I want to kiss you, but I, I... 75 00:03:51,006 --> 00:03:52,016 I don't know what... 76 00:03:52,017 --> 00:03:54,007 I know, it's very unclear. 77 00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:56,010 Yeah, I mean, this isn't a first date. 78 00:03:56,007 --> 00:03:57,017 We've, we've already dated. 79 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:58,020 And we've kissed. 80 00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:00,011 -Many times. -Hours. 81 00:04:00,013 --> 00:04:03,013 We were in a lip lock for most of 1982. 82 00:04:04,014 --> 00:04:05,024 So, um... 83 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,024 What's one more kiss? 84 00:04:12,022 --> 00:04:14,002 Uh-oh... 85 00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:15,005 You mean business. 86 00:04:32,016 --> 00:04:35,996 So... that's a lot better without the gearshift 87 00:04:36,005 --> 00:04:37,015 sticking up my ass. 88 00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:45,023 It was a romantic, hot summer night... 89 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:48,019 Followed by a miserable, hot summer day, 90 00:04:48,019 --> 00:04:52,009 which was the 14th miserable, hot summer day in a row. 91 00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,020 Samantha Jones! 92 00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:55,000 How are you? 93 00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:57,012 Great, Phoebe! How are you? 94 00:04:58,007 --> 00:04:59,007 Refreshed. 95 00:04:59,013 --> 00:05:01,023 We just dropped by the Soho House for a dip. 96 00:05:01,019 --> 00:05:04,019 I mean, what else can you possibly do in this heat 97 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,000 except sit by the pool and drink cocktails 98 00:05:08,002 --> 00:05:10,002 while they mist you with Evian? 99 00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,005 Isn't it the best? 100 00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:12,020 Oh, it's fabulous. 101 00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:16,002 I'm running to a lunch, otherwise I'd be up there myself. 102 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:17,015 Toodles. 103 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,010 There's a pool a block from my apartment and I can't get in! 104 00:05:21,007 --> 00:05:22,997 -What pool? -At the Soho House. 105 00:05:23,002 --> 00:05:24,002 You have to be a member 106 00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:26,006 and I'm on some kind of bullshit waitlist. 107 00:05:26,013 --> 00:05:27,013 Don't they know who you are? 108 00:05:27,015 --> 00:05:29,015 And more importantly, who we are, 109 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,000 who need to be at the pool with you? 110 00:05:32,005 --> 00:05:33,005 You know, in high school, 111 00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:34,999 all you had to do was jump a fence 112 00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:37,005 and you could be in somebody's pool. 113 00:05:37,011 --> 00:05:38,021 Oh, speaking of high school, 114 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,010 I saw my high school sweetheart 115 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,998 and I think I might like him... 116 00:05:44,006 --> 00:05:45,006 again. 117 00:05:45,013 --> 00:05:46,013 Is that crazy? 118 00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:48,006 No, I love this! 119 00:05:48,012 --> 00:05:51,002 You could end up with your high school boyfriend! 120 00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:52,013 Okay, let's not jump the gun. 121 00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:55,000 But it was the best date that I've had in a long time. 122 00:05:55,002 --> 00:05:56,022 And I wasn't even thinking that it was a date. 123 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,012 Oh, and when he kissed me goodnight-- 124 00:05:59,009 --> 00:06:01,019 He kissed you goodnight? 125 00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:06,011 I-- It was wild because I actually remembered 126 00:06:06,009 --> 00:06:08,009 what it felt like to kiss him. 127 00:06:08,007 --> 00:06:09,017 Imagine if you slept with him. 128 00:06:09,023 --> 00:06:11,023 Talk about a homecoming. 129 00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:13,011 No! 130 00:06:13,008 --> 00:06:15,008 -We never went all the way. -Why not? 131 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,998 Because we were kids. We wanted to wait. 132 00:06:18,005 --> 00:06:19,005 And now... 133 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,012 I think we've waited long enough. 134 00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:24,000 -You're marrying him. -Will you stop? 135 00:06:24,004 --> 00:06:26,004 He doesn't even live in New York. He lives in Denver. 136 00:06:26,006 --> 00:06:28,996 People move. It would be so romantic. 137 00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:32,015 Or tragic. Seriously, if I had the guy in high school, 138 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:36,001 what have I been doing for the past 20 years? 139 00:06:36,002 --> 00:06:37,022 Why did you two break up? 140 00:06:37,018 --> 00:06:39,018 I broke up because I thought, come on, 141 00:06:39,022 --> 00:06:41,012 there must be better guys out there. 142 00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:44,010 Turns out, ah, there aren't! 143 00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:48,010 That night I started thinking about my retro relationship. 144 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:50,007 Since high school, most women I know 145 00:06:50,008 --> 00:06:52,018 have acquired much better taste in clothes, 146 00:06:52,017 --> 00:06:54,007 hair styles, and food. 147 00:06:54,008 --> 00:06:55,998 But what about in men? 148 00:06:59,005 --> 00:07:03,995 Maybe we were better off when we thought less and kissed more. 149 00:07:04,003 --> 00:07:07,023 Have we graduated past our ability to find true love 150 00:07:07,022 --> 00:07:10,012 when it comes to matters of the heart? 151 00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:12,995 Did we have it right in high school? 152 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:19,008 Samantha was too cool to belong to any clubs in high school, 153 00:07:19,007 --> 00:07:21,007 so she refused to believe that any club 154 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,018 was too cool for her now... 155 00:07:22,019 --> 00:07:26,019 especially since New York in August is not cool at all. 156 00:07:26,017 --> 00:07:28,007 -May I help you? -I hope so. 157 00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,020 I'd like to know what's holding up my membership. 158 00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:32,021 I've been on the waitlist since June. 159 00:07:32,021 --> 00:07:36,001 Yes, I'm sorry, but we are not currently admitting any new members. 160 00:07:36,006 --> 00:07:39,016 The pool is so fabulous, we're at capacity every day. 161 00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:43,020 Do you know who I am? 162 00:07:43,022 --> 00:07:48,022 No, I don't, but we can't accommodate you right now. 163 00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:51,011 Can I at least use the restroom before I go, 164 00:07:51,009 --> 00:07:53,009 or is there a waitlist for that as well? 165 00:07:53,011 --> 00:07:55,001 Down the corridor on your left. 166 00:07:55,006 --> 00:07:57,006 The door marked "W.C." 167 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:09,018 Miss, did you leave your card on the sink? 168 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000 Oh, yes. 169 00:08:12,002 --> 00:08:14,022 Yes, I did. Thank you so much. 170 00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:18,011 Since they didn't seem to know who she was at the Soho House, 171 00:08:18,013 --> 00:08:19,023 she figured she could be... 172 00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:22,011 Annabelle Bronstein. 173 00:08:28,022 --> 00:08:32,022 The next day, Samantha tested the waters with her fake ID. 174 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,012 Excuse me. 175 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,000 Can I get you something to drink, Miss Bronstein? 176 00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:42,004 Yes, but I'll just pay cash. 177 00:08:43,011 --> 00:08:47,021 And please, call me Annabelle. 178 00:08:47,017 --> 00:08:51,007 Meanwhile, a fight was about to break out in the cafeteria, 179 00:08:51,015 --> 00:08:56,005 but this time, Cafeteria was a trendy restaurant in Chelsea. 180 00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:59,005 Thank you. 181 00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:01,007 God, I hate him. 182 00:09:01,015 --> 00:09:03,015 Come on, we're going over there. 183 00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:04,007 Why? 184 00:09:04,015 --> 00:09:06,005 Because you're in a tank top. 185 00:09:08,002 --> 00:09:09,012 Hi! 186 00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,010 Oh, hi. 187 00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:12,009 You were here, what a small world! 188 00:09:12,008 --> 00:09:16,008 That's Chelsea for you. Can't swing a dick without running into someone you know. 189 00:09:18,021 --> 00:09:20,011 Well, we'd love to stay and chat, 190 00:09:20,013 --> 00:09:23,003 but we have to go get our tuxes for the prom. 191 00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:24,012 Did you say, "the prom"? 192 00:09:24,013 --> 00:09:29,013 Yes, it's a big fund-raiser at the gay, lesbian, bi, transgender center. 193 00:09:29,012 --> 00:09:31,012 I'm on the decorations committee. 194 00:09:31,011 --> 00:09:33,011 What's the theme? Queer and queerer? 195 00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,007 I have the best memories of my prom. 196 00:09:37,016 --> 00:09:38,016 I was the prom queen. 197 00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:41,011 Of course you were, darling. 198 00:09:41,007 --> 00:09:43,017 I missed my prom in high school because-- 199 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,021 You were gay? 200 00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:49,011 No, my girlfriend and I broke up the night before because-- 201 00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:51,011 You were gay. 202 00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:53,022 No, I wasn't gay until-- 203 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:55,012 You were born? 204 00:09:57,007 --> 00:09:58,017 Never mind. 205 00:09:58,022 --> 00:09:59,022 Goodbye... 206 00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:01,010 Charlotte. 207 00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:03,014 -Bye. -Bye, Marcus. 208 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:10,006 Those two should be going to the gay, lesbian and prostitute prom. 209 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,019 Oh, be nice. 210 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:15,020 What? I happen to know that Marcus used to be a gay escort. 211 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,011 He was not! 212 00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,017 Oh, honey, wake up and smell the K-Y. 213 00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:22,007 I was flipping through a vintage issue of Honcho. 214 00:10:22,008 --> 00:10:24,008 I saw his ad in the Rauncho section. 215 00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:26,000 He called himself Paul. 216 00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:28,016 Worst hustler name I ever heard. 217 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,008 He and Stanford are in love. 218 00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:32,005 Yeah, well, according to Honcho, 219 00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:34,023 he used to be in love all over town. 220 00:10:34,022 --> 00:10:36,002 You are mistaken. 221 00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:38,014 There's a picture. I'll send you the ad. 222 00:10:38,007 --> 00:10:39,017 I don't want to see it! 223 00:10:39,023 --> 00:10:41,013 I'm sendin' it, prom queen! 224 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,007 What can I get you? 225 00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,020 Cute waiter. 226 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,020 I wish I didn't know this. 227 00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:52,011 Number Five, Fishman, replaces Ellis. 228 00:10:52,015 --> 00:10:53,995 Do you think Stanford knows? 229 00:10:54,002 --> 00:10:56,012 Probably not, so maybe we shouldn't talk about it 230 00:10:56,009 --> 00:10:57,999 in Madison Square Garden. 231 00:11:00,014 --> 00:11:03,024 I don't think that these people know those people. 232 00:11:05,002 --> 00:11:06,012 The foul is charged to Ron. 233 00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:08,015 Look at how cute he is. 234 00:11:08,017 --> 00:11:11,007 He is gorgeous. 235 00:11:14,017 --> 00:11:16,017 He looked at me. Did you just see him look at me? 236 00:11:16,019 --> 00:11:17,019 He totally likes you. 237 00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:20,011 -You think? -Look at these seats. 238 00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:23,024 You're right. These seats are too good to be casual. 239 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,020 Time out, New York. 240 00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:29,000 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... 241 00:11:29,006 --> 00:11:31,006 The Knicks City Dancers! 242 00:11:31,008 --> 00:11:33,008 Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader? 243 00:11:33,007 --> 00:11:37,017 No, because you knew I would mock you endlessly. 244 00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:42,013 ♪ Rolling on the river ♪ 245 00:11:48,015 --> 00:11:51,005 ♪ Looking for a job In the city ♪ 246 00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:53,999 ♪ Working for the man Every night and day ♪ 247 00:11:54,002 --> 00:11:56,022 ♪ And I never lost A minute of sleepin' ♪ 248 00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:59,021 ♪ Worrying 'bout the way Things might have been ♪ 249 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,011 ♪ Big wheel keep on turning ♪ 250 00:12:02,008 --> 00:12:03,998 Did you used to do that? 251 00:12:04,002 --> 00:12:08,002 No, we just did some hurkees and some kicks. 252 00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:10,013 ♪ Rollin' on the river ♪ 253 00:12:10,013 --> 00:12:16,003 ♪ Said we're rollin', rollin' Rollin' on a river ♪ 254 00:12:16,023 --> 00:12:19,023 ♪ Do, do, do, do... ♪ 255 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,022 What is she doing? 256 00:12:23,019 --> 00:12:25,009 That blonde one in front? 257 00:12:25,008 --> 00:12:26,008 Uh-huh. 258 00:12:26,008 --> 00:12:31,008 ♪ Rollin', rollin' Rollin' on a river ♪ 259 00:12:32,010 --> 00:12:33,010 Woo! 260 00:12:33,009 --> 00:12:34,999 She's flirting with your boyfriend. 261 00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:36,022 He is not my boyfriend. 262 00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:41,020 What, is she like, 21? 263 00:12:43,018 --> 00:12:45,998 It was Friday night, it was the big game, 264 00:12:46,004 --> 00:12:49,004 and Miranda was jealous of a cheerleader. 265 00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:54,002 Two hours later, the game ended, 266 00:12:54,004 --> 00:12:56,014 and Miranda felt like the loser. 267 00:12:57,004 --> 00:12:58,024 Okay, let's just go. 268 00:12:58,023 --> 00:13:01,003 No, you have to go over there and talk to him! 269 00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:02,005 But he's talking to her. 270 00:13:02,008 --> 00:13:04,008 You are better than her. 271 00:13:04,009 --> 00:13:06,019 Go on, you can do it. 272 00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:08,010 Are you going to do a "hurkee" now? 273 00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:10,996 Just you go over there and flirt a little bit. 274 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,000 Go, go! 275 00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:19,023 The Knicks from Madison Square Garden thank you for coming. 276 00:13:19,019 --> 00:13:20,999 Have a safe trip home. 277 00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:22,003 That's it. 278 00:13:22,005 --> 00:13:23,995 I'm out. 279 00:13:24,002 --> 00:13:27,022 Meanwhile, I invited Jeremy to come over and watch a movie, 280 00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:29,021 which in high school was code for 281 00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:32,001 "come over and make out." 282 00:13:32,002 --> 00:13:34,012 And happily, it still was. 283 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,023 Oh, I gotta run. 284 00:13:35,017 --> 00:13:37,017 The last train leaves in half an hour. 285 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:41,010 Oh. I think you should stay. 286 00:13:41,007 --> 00:13:43,017 I think we should go all the way. 287 00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:45,022 All the way? 288 00:13:45,022 --> 00:13:47,022 We never did, and now we can. 289 00:13:47,022 --> 00:13:50,022 And your mother won't walk in with her laundry and her Tab. 290 00:13:52,022 --> 00:13:55,012 That's true... 291 00:13:55,011 --> 00:13:58,011 But, Carrie, I need to be honest with you about something. 292 00:13:58,012 --> 00:14:02,022 That's the worst thing you can hear from someone you really like. 293 00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:05,020 I'm not really just taking time off, I'm, uh... 294 00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:09,000 I'm sort of in a, uh... 295 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,009 mental institution. 296 00:14:14,013 --> 00:14:19,003 No, actually, that's the worst thing you can hear. 297 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:22,013 I wanted a man who would commit, not a man who was committed. 298 00:14:22,008 --> 00:14:24,018 Apparently, we have to be more specific. 299 00:14:24,023 --> 00:14:26,023 But how was he able to see you? 300 00:14:26,018 --> 00:14:28,008 Ooh, did he escape? 301 00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:30,022 No, he's voluntary. 302 00:14:30,023 --> 00:14:33,013 He says it's not really a mental institution. 303 00:14:33,015 --> 00:14:36,005 It's a "therapeutic community." 304 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:36,998 Which one? 305 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:38,006 Juno-Spears? 306 00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:39,014 Oh, that's supposed to be a good one. 307 00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:41,014 I've had clients go there. 308 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,020 Really, why haven't we heard about that? 309 00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:44,010 Because I'm good at my job. 310 00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:46,007 No one wants to admit they're in a loony bin. 311 00:14:46,013 --> 00:14:47,013 On a first date. 312 00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:49,010 It's all humiliating. 313 00:14:49,015 --> 00:14:51,015 Think about what we have to go through to date! 314 00:14:51,017 --> 00:14:55,017 I am 38 and I am competing with a cheerleader. 315 00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:56,022 Yeah, and even when you get the guy, 316 00:14:56,023 --> 00:14:59,023 you never know what fun surprise might be revealed. 317 00:14:59,017 --> 00:15:01,997 Let me tell you something, ladies. 318 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:05,022 In a good relationship, there are no surprises. 319 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,020 I know everything about Marcus 320 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,020 and Marcus knows everything about me. 321 00:15:15,012 --> 00:15:17,012 I don't think he knows everything. 322 00:15:18,014 --> 00:15:23,014 What? 323 00:15:23,014 --> 00:15:26,014 Charlotte, like all girls, learned at an early age 324 00:15:26,013 --> 00:15:28,013 that the only way to get rid of information 325 00:15:28,016 --> 00:15:32,006 you don't want to have is to pass it on. 326 00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:34,020 Oh, my God. Is this real? 327 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:38,021 Anthony found it in an old issue of Honcho magazine. 328 00:15:38,018 --> 00:15:40,998 Let me see that! 329 00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:42,023 Oh, my. 330 00:15:42,021 --> 00:15:44,021 Is that Marcus? 331 00:15:44,021 --> 00:15:46,001 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 332 00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:47,012 What is that? 333 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,010 Nothing. 334 00:15:49,012 --> 00:15:54,022 Okay, hand it over. 335 00:16:01,017 --> 00:16:02,017 Where did this come from? 336 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,020 Someone better tell me where this came from right now! 337 00:16:06,023 --> 00:16:08,003 I'm not kidding! 338 00:16:08,002 --> 00:16:09,012 I got it from Carrie. 339 00:16:09,016 --> 00:16:10,016 I got it from Miranda. 340 00:16:10,023 --> 00:16:11,023 I got it from Charlotte. 341 00:16:11,023 --> 00:16:12,023 I got it from Anthony, 342 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,010 but I told him that you and Marcus 343 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,995 were very much in love. 344 00:16:16,004 --> 00:16:18,014 Charlotte was still a cheerleader for love. 345 00:16:18,015 --> 00:16:21,015 But like the Knicks, her team was having a bad season. 346 00:16:22,012 --> 00:16:24,002 Wow. 347 00:16:24,002 --> 00:16:26,012 You think you know somebody... 348 00:16:28,002 --> 00:16:32,002 Excuse me. Which one of you is Annabelle Bronstein? 349 00:16:32,004 --> 00:16:33,014 I am. 350 00:16:33,014 --> 00:16:34,014 Well, that's impossible. 351 00:16:34,015 --> 00:16:37,015 Miss Bronstein is in London for the week. 352 00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:41,001 No, I am Annabelle Bronstein. 353 00:16:42,012 --> 00:16:44,022 And she's British. 354 00:16:44,023 --> 00:16:50,013 As I was saying, dear sir, I am Annabelle Bronstein. 355 00:16:50,015 --> 00:16:52,005 I'm fairly certain you are not Annabelle. 356 00:16:52,008 --> 00:16:54,998 I've spoken to her on the phone. 357 00:16:55,005 --> 00:16:58,005 I am absolutely Annabelle Bronstein. 358 00:16:58,008 --> 00:17:02,008 And I do not pay 900 American dollars annually 359 00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:04,006 to be treated like this. 360 00:17:04,007 --> 00:17:08,007 Now, ring round the waiter and have him tally up the drinks. 361 00:17:09,004 --> 00:17:11,004 What's with the accent? 362 00:17:11,003 --> 00:17:12,013 She's got a case of the Madonnas. 363 00:17:12,012 --> 00:17:16,012 I'm sorry, but I know for a fact that Annabelle lost her card. 364 00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:20,017 Yes, I thought I did, 365 00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:23,013 but it was on top of the telly. 366 00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:27,007 And Miss Bronstein is from Sussex, as am I, 367 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:30,023 and I'd venture to guess that you are not, in fact, 368 00:17:30,021 --> 00:17:32,001 from the UK. 369 00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:34,013 Well, that's true. 370 00:17:35,008 --> 00:17:37,018 I was raised in India. 371 00:17:37,017 --> 00:17:38,007 On any given day, 372 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,015 there are a lot of versions of crazy 373 00:17:40,021 --> 00:17:42,011 right here in New York. 374 00:17:42,009 --> 00:17:46,009 Today, Annabelle Bronstein had multiple personalities, 375 00:17:46,016 --> 00:17:49,006 and at least two accents. 376 00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,010 Hey, Hobbes. 377 00:17:52,014 --> 00:17:54,014 Where'd you disappear to after the game? 378 00:17:54,014 --> 00:17:55,014 Oh... 379 00:17:55,011 --> 00:17:57,001 I was gonna thank you, 380 00:17:57,003 --> 00:17:59,013 but you were talking to that girl. 381 00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:00,022 What girl? 382 00:18:00,019 --> 00:18:02,009 Some cheerleader. 383 00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:05,008 Oh. 384 00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:06,020 Do you like her? 385 00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:07,023 No. 386 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,016 I like someone else. 387 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,005 You. 388 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:18,010 This cheered Miranda up immediately. 389 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:20,009 Now, see, how would I know that? 390 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:22,020 Well... 391 00:18:25,017 --> 00:18:27,007 Would it be any clearer... 392 00:18:29,002 --> 00:18:30,012 if I did this? 393 00:18:42,002 --> 00:18:43,022 -Hi, Mrs. McCaffrey. -Hello, Mrs. McCaffrey. 394 00:18:48,009 --> 00:18:49,999 I wanted you to have these. 395 00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:51,996 Marbles. 396 00:18:52,002 --> 00:18:53,002 In case I lose any more of mine, 397 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,006 I want to know where I can find a stash. 398 00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:57,008 How are you? Do you want to come in? 399 00:18:57,007 --> 00:18:58,017 She asks, with trepidation. 400 00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:01,010 No, I think it's great what you're doing, I just-- 401 00:19:01,013 --> 00:19:03,013 I know I probably threw you for a loop the other day, but um... 402 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,019 I should probably just come right out 403 00:19:06,017 --> 00:19:08,017 and say something about this, but I... 404 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:11,012 Truth is, I haven't worked out my "rap" on it yet. 405 00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:14,008 Well, it's a tough thing to "slip in." 406 00:19:14,007 --> 00:19:14,997 Yeah, it is. 407 00:19:15,005 --> 00:19:16,005 "Hi, I might be crazy! 408 00:19:16,014 --> 00:19:18,014 Would you like to share an appetizer?" 409 00:19:19,018 --> 00:19:21,008 The thing is, I... 410 00:19:21,007 --> 00:19:23,017 I think I made it sound worse than it is. 411 00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:26,020 If you saw Juno-Spears, you'd see that it's not Cuckoo's Nest. 412 00:19:26,019 --> 00:19:28,009 It's more like... 413 00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:29,017 it's like Canyon Ranch for the brain. 414 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,010 Do they have Pilates? 415 00:19:31,016 --> 00:19:33,016 They do have Pilates. 416 00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:38,011 I don't want to lie to you. I am going through some pretty heavy stuff. 417 00:19:38,008 --> 00:19:41,018 I mean, soul searching, really. 418 00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:44,001 Trying to figure out why 419 00:19:44,006 --> 00:19:46,006 some things seem to be harder for me 420 00:19:46,008 --> 00:19:48,008 than they are for other people. 421 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:50,022 I think my family has something to do with it. 422 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,012 It's always good to blame the parents, right? 423 00:19:53,007 --> 00:19:53,997 Right. 424 00:19:54,004 --> 00:19:55,014 So I figured I could spend 425 00:19:55,009 --> 00:19:56,019 the next five years in therapy 426 00:19:56,019 --> 00:19:57,019 or just spend the next month 427 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,020 and really deal with it intensively right now. 428 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000 It's just more efficient. 429 00:20:01,006 --> 00:20:03,006 Well, you make a very good case. 430 00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:04,020 That's what my doctors say. 431 00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,004 Well, that's it. 432 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:07,995 Ta-da. 433 00:20:08,003 --> 00:20:11,003 I just wanted to explain myself 434 00:20:11,005 --> 00:20:13,005 so that I didn't become known eternally 435 00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:16,013 as that nutcase you dated back in high school. 436 00:20:16,013 --> 00:20:20,003 How about "my high school boyfriend, who was the best kisser ever"? 437 00:20:20,006 --> 00:20:21,996 I could live with that. 438 00:20:22,006 --> 00:20:25,006 You're not bad yourself either, you know? 439 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:27,016 That night, we went all the way. 440 00:20:27,021 --> 00:20:29,021 And we weren't the only ones. 441 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:34,019 ♪ Rollin', rollin' Rollin' on a river ♪ 442 00:20:34,023 --> 00:20:37,013 ♪ River Do, do, do, do, do ♪ 443 00:20:37,008 --> 00:20:38,008 ♪ All right ♪ 444 00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:43,020 The next afternoon, my other crazy boyfriend stopped by. 445 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,010 It's true. 446 00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:47,019 Marcus was a gay escort. 447 00:20:47,022 --> 00:20:50,002 But he's been off the market since 1992. 448 00:20:50,003 --> 00:20:51,013 So you talked about it? 449 00:20:51,007 --> 00:20:52,997 Yes, and he says he did it 450 00:20:53,004 --> 00:20:56,004 just to put himself through dance classes. 451 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,996 But if that's true, then why keep it a secret? 452 00:20:59,004 --> 00:21:01,004 Maybe he was embarrassed. 453 00:21:01,006 --> 00:21:02,016 Yes, but... 454 00:21:02,019 --> 00:21:04,009 It's not the escort thing, 455 00:21:04,015 --> 00:21:06,015 but the secret thing that's bothering me. 456 00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:08,020 I was the last to know! 457 00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:10,999 I don't want to hear the truth from some bitchy queen 458 00:21:11,004 --> 00:21:12,024 with back issues of Honcho. 459 00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:14,020 So... 460 00:21:15,018 --> 00:21:16,008 we broke up. 461 00:21:16,016 --> 00:21:18,016 Oh, Stanny, really? 462 00:21:18,017 --> 00:21:19,017 Yes. 463 00:21:21,006 --> 00:21:23,006 And right before the prom! 464 00:21:23,013 --> 00:21:26,023 And I still have to go because I'm on the decorations committee. 465 00:21:26,021 --> 00:21:28,011 And I have no date. 466 00:21:28,007 --> 00:21:29,997 Again. 467 00:21:30,004 --> 00:21:31,004 Well, when is it? 468 00:21:31,005 --> 00:21:32,015 Tomorrow night. 469 00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:35,011 Will you please, please, please go with me? 470 00:21:35,007 --> 00:21:38,007 I can't. I have to visit my boyfriend at the asylum. 471 00:21:38,014 --> 00:21:39,024 Of course you do. 472 00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:42,010 He wants me to see the place for myself. 473 00:21:42,008 --> 00:21:44,008 It's supposed to be like Canyon Ranch. 474 00:21:44,009 --> 00:21:45,009 Honey... 475 00:21:45,014 --> 00:21:48,014 I know, but I like him. 476 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,015 You'd have to. 477 00:21:49,020 --> 00:21:51,010 And who are we to say he's got issues? 478 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:54,000 He's getting help. Usually that's considered a good thing. 479 00:21:54,003 --> 00:21:56,023 And it's New York. Everybody's insane. 480 00:21:56,022 --> 00:21:58,012 You slept with him, didn't you? 481 00:21:58,011 --> 00:21:59,021 Yes. 482 00:21:59,022 --> 00:22:02,012 Oh, that's where the problems begin. 483 00:22:02,012 --> 00:22:07,002 You sleep with someone, you start rationalizing away all the red flags. 484 00:22:07,005 --> 00:22:09,005 At least he was honest about it. 485 00:22:09,008 --> 00:22:10,018 Yes. 486 00:22:10,023 --> 00:22:12,023 Unlike "Paul." 487 00:22:12,023 --> 00:22:14,023 Oh... 488 00:22:26,002 --> 00:22:28,002 Apparently, the Juno-Spears Center 489 00:22:28,002 --> 00:22:30,022 was harder than the Soho House to get into. 490 00:22:31,008 --> 00:22:32,018 Or out of. 491 00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:44,022 Even as a visitor, I could see how this was a very relaxing place to get away to. 492 00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:46,020 Mm. 493 00:22:46,019 --> 00:22:48,009 -It's kind of nice, huh? -Mm-hmm. 494 00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:51,010 And there are great hiking trails all around here. 495 00:22:51,011 --> 00:22:52,021 Maybe later we can do a hike. 496 00:22:52,023 --> 00:22:55,013 Oh, I don't really hike. 497 00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:56,017 Neither do I. 498 00:22:56,020 --> 00:22:58,020 But I will fill you in on something I discovered. 499 00:22:59,019 --> 00:23:00,019 Hiking... 500 00:23:01,017 --> 00:23:02,997 is walking. 501 00:23:03,002 --> 00:23:04,012 -Really? -Yes, hiking is walking. 502 00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:05,016 I started to think, 503 00:23:05,021 --> 00:23:07,011 maybe the Juno-Spears Center 504 00:23:07,014 --> 00:23:09,024 should be mandatory for New Yorkers, 505 00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:12,011 like the Hamptons, or Fire Island. 506 00:23:12,007 --> 00:23:15,017 Feces, feces, feces! 507 00:23:15,022 --> 00:23:17,012 Get him! Feces! 508 00:23:17,009 --> 00:23:18,999 Uh, uh, uh! 509 00:23:21,016 --> 00:23:24,006 Feces, feces! 510 00:23:24,008 --> 00:23:27,008 I guess that doesn't happen very often at Canyon Ranch, huh? 511 00:23:27,016 --> 00:23:29,006 I've never been. 512 00:23:29,013 --> 00:23:31,013 -It might. -Who am I kidding? 513 00:23:31,013 --> 00:23:34,013 This is a full-on psychiatric facility. 514 00:23:34,008 --> 00:23:35,998 With Pilates. 515 00:23:38,005 --> 00:23:39,995 You're definitely the sanest person here. 516 00:23:40,006 --> 00:23:43,016 Well, thank you. But that's kind of like being the best house on a bad block. 517 00:23:43,019 --> 00:23:45,999 People would advise you against buying it. 518 00:23:47,014 --> 00:23:49,014 Maybe it just wasn't the wisest thing 519 00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:51,011 to start something while I was still in here. 520 00:23:53,021 --> 00:23:57,011 Maybe when I get out in eight to ten months... 521 00:23:59,014 --> 00:24:01,014 Eight to ten months? 522 00:24:01,009 --> 00:24:03,019 Yeah, my doctor still thinks I have a lot of work to do. 523 00:24:04,001 --> 00:24:05,021 Oh. 524 00:24:05,022 --> 00:24:07,022 And to be honest with you, I'm comfortable here. 525 00:24:08,001 --> 00:24:12,021 I kind of like it. I like that everybody's craziness 526 00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:13,017 is out in the open. 527 00:24:16,007 --> 00:24:17,007 Yeah. 528 00:24:18,009 --> 00:24:21,009 Well... I loved seeing you. 529 00:24:21,011 --> 00:24:23,021 I've loved seeing you again. 530 00:24:25,023 --> 00:24:27,013 But I understand. 531 00:24:27,011 --> 00:24:32,011 We're just in very different places right now. 532 00:24:32,010 --> 00:24:36,020 Ironically, it was the sanest breakup I ever had. 533 00:24:38,022 --> 00:24:43,022 And now, the queen and queen of our prom... 534 00:24:43,018 --> 00:24:47,008 Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blatch. 535 00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:55,020 Oh, my God! I love this song. 536 00:24:55,019 --> 00:24:56,009 Me too. 537 00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:57,016 -I'll take this, honey. -Oh! 538 00:24:58,001 --> 00:24:59,021 Thank you very much. 539 00:25:02,011 --> 00:25:06,021 ♪ You'll take away The biggest part of me ♪ 540 00:25:08,014 --> 00:25:12,024 ♪ Ooo-ooh, no Baby, please don't go ♪ 541 00:25:12,017 --> 00:25:15,007 This is my best prom ever. 542 00:25:15,012 --> 00:25:16,022 -Oh. -Thank you for coming. 543 00:25:17,001 --> 00:25:20,011 Oh, believe me, I'm glad to be back with the normal people. 544 00:25:21,018 --> 00:25:23,008 You know the craziest thing of all? 545 00:25:23,014 --> 00:25:25,024 -Hm? -I somehow thought, 546 00:25:25,019 --> 00:25:28,019 that after everything I've been through, 547 00:25:28,017 --> 00:25:32,017 I might end up with my high school boyfriend. 548 00:25:32,018 --> 00:25:36,008 Yeah. I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that. 549 00:25:36,008 --> 00:25:37,998 Your boyfriend might get tied up. 550 00:25:38,003 --> 00:25:39,023 And taken away. 551 00:25:39,018 --> 00:25:42,018 Okay, no more jokes. I might be dating him in eight to ten months. 552 00:25:46,013 --> 00:25:47,023 -Oh. -May I cut in? 553 00:25:48,001 --> 00:25:48,021 Um... 554 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:49,020 Uh, no, thank you. 555 00:25:50,001 --> 00:25:51,021 I already have an escort. 556 00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:58,022 Honey, I didn't tell you because it's part of my past. 557 00:25:58,017 --> 00:26:00,017 It's not who I am anymore. 558 00:26:00,021 --> 00:26:02,021 I was really messed up back then. 559 00:26:03,001 --> 00:26:04,021 But I've got it together now. 560 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 And it's prom night. 561 00:26:08,003 --> 00:26:09,023 And we have to have a dance. 562 00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:13,000 ♪ How can we end it All this way ♪ 563 00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:15,004 Why don't I get some punch? 564 00:26:15,003 --> 00:26:19,023 ♪ When tomorrow comes And we'll both regret ♪ 565 00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:23,010 ♪ The things we said today ♪ 566 00:26:23,015 --> 00:26:25,005 Just tell me one thing? 567 00:26:25,012 --> 00:26:27,022 Did you ever, ever sleep 568 00:26:27,022 --> 00:26:30,012 with that little bitchy pine nut, Anthony? 569 00:26:30,013 --> 00:26:32,023 No. God, no. 570 00:26:35,004 --> 00:26:40,014 ♪ Ooo-ooh, no Baby, please don't go ♪ 571 00:26:49,015 --> 00:26:50,995 ♪ Ooh, girl ♪ 572 00:26:51,005 --> 00:26:54,995 ♪ Just got to have you By my side ♪ 573 00:26:57,021 --> 00:26:59,011 So maybe it won't look the way 574 00:26:59,008 --> 00:27:01,018 you thought it would look in high school. 575 00:27:01,021 --> 00:27:04,021 But it's good to remember love is possible. 576 00:27:04,017 --> 00:27:07,007 ♪ Baby, please don't go ♪ 577 00:27:07,010 --> 00:27:09,010 Anything is possible. 578 00:27:09,011 --> 00:27:11,011 This is New York. 579 00:27:16,017 --> 00:27:18,007 ♪ Ooh, my, my ♪ 580 00:27:18,015 --> 00:27:20,015 ♪ I just got to have Your lovin' ♪