1 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:53,006 New York City is a great place to be engaged... 2 00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:58,021 Miss? 3 00:00:58,023 --> 00:01:01,023 Oh, I'm sorry, did you want this cab? 4 00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:03,021 -Why, thank you. -Sure. 5 00:01:07,022 --> 00:01:11,012 And it's an even better place to be enraged. 6 00:01:12,008 --> 00:01:13,998 Oh, you're so busy, 7 00:01:14,003 --> 00:01:16,003 you're so busy! 8 00:01:24,009 --> 00:01:25,009 Ah. 9 00:01:30,009 --> 00:01:32,009 -Boy, do I have news. -So do I. 10 00:01:32,014 --> 00:01:35,024 I didn't want to say anything until we were all together, but 11 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,000 Harry and I made up, and he asked me to marry him! 12 00:01:39,002 --> 00:01:41,022 Oh, wow! -Oh, my God, congratulations! 13 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,998 Sweetie, that's great. 14 00:01:43,006 --> 00:01:44,016 Look at that ring! 15 00:01:44,017 --> 00:01:46,017 I know, he had it made based on the one 16 00:01:46,019 --> 00:01:48,999 that Richard Burton gave Elizabeth Taylor. 17 00:01:49,004 --> 00:01:51,014 Well, it is... fabulous. 18 00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:54,012 Even more fabulous than your first one. 19 00:01:56,012 --> 00:01:59,002 So, Carrie, what was your news? 20 00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:01,022 Oh, Berger broke up with me on a post-it. 21 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,011 On a post-it? 22 00:02:03,009 --> 00:02:04,019 Uh-huh, uh-huh! 23 00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:06,013 Yep. 24 00:02:06,012 --> 00:02:08,022 Read it and weep, my friends. 25 00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:11,019 "I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me." 26 00:02:12,015 --> 00:02:13,995 The motherfucker's concise. 27 00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,023 First of all, I thought you were gonna break up with him. 28 00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:16,023 Yeah, I was. 29 00:02:16,023 --> 00:02:19,003 And I should have, but he said that he wanted 30 00:02:19,004 --> 00:02:21,004 to try to "work things out," 31 00:02:21,004 --> 00:02:25,004 A.K.A. leave in the middle of the night. 32 00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:26,023 A post-it, that's infuriating. 33 00:02:26,023 --> 00:02:28,023 I remember when breaking up over the phone 34 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,012 was considered bad form. 35 00:02:30,009 --> 00:02:33,009 -I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. -Thank you. 36 00:02:33,011 --> 00:02:36,021 "I'm sorry, Miss Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down... 37 00:02:37,012 --> 00:02:38,012 ever." 38 00:02:38,013 --> 00:02:40,013 I miss having a doorman. 39 00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:42,011 So, are you gonna call him? 40 00:02:42,014 --> 00:02:46,014 No. I'm not going to dignify his behavior with a response. 41 00:02:46,007 --> 00:02:48,017 I am not even going to leave him one of those 42 00:02:48,017 --> 00:02:50,017 angry answering 43 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,020 "Hi, it's me, you're a dick!" 44 00:02:52,018 --> 00:02:53,018 Mm. 45 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000 But it sure felt good saying it right now. Even to you. 46 00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:58,006 Well, that's what we're here for. 47 00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,012 I'm sorry. 48 00:02:59,011 --> 00:03:00,021 Yeah, I'm sorry too. 49 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:04,001 That relationship was a complete waste of time. 50 00:03:04,006 --> 00:03:06,016 Oh, it's never a complete waste of time. 51 00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:09,008 I mean, even in the worst relationship, you always learn something. 52 00:03:09,008 --> 00:03:11,008 You might not want to say that to a woman 53 00:03:11,011 --> 00:03:13,001 carrying a loaded post-it. 54 00:03:13,004 --> 00:03:14,024 But, Carrie, everything happens for a reason. 55 00:03:14,023 --> 00:03:16,023 Even if you don't know what it is yet. 56 00:03:16,018 --> 00:03:18,008 That's such bullshit. 57 00:03:18,011 --> 00:03:21,001 It's not! Look at me. 58 00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:22,023 If I had never married Trey, 59 00:03:22,019 --> 00:03:24,019 then I never would have gotten divorced, 60 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:29,010 and I never would have met my divorce lawyer, Harry, 61 00:03:29,007 --> 00:03:30,017 and I wouldn't be engaged now. 62 00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:33,001 Uh-huh. 63 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,015 Paper covers rock. 64 00:03:36,019 --> 00:03:38,999 Maybe everything does happen for a reason. 65 00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:41,996 If Berger hadn't left me in the most horrible way 66 00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:43,006 anyone could ever imagine, 67 00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,020 I wouldn't have the afternoon free 68 00:03:44,018 --> 00:03:45,018 to walk you to your hair appointment. 69 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,000 Mmm. We're all being protected by the universe. 70 00:03:49,002 --> 00:03:50,012 When it comes to men, 71 00:03:50,007 --> 00:03:51,017 I think you may have had it right all along. 72 00:03:51,019 --> 00:03:53,019 Keep it light, don't get too involved. 73 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,010 Don't get too hurt. 74 00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:57,008 Exactly. If you're never someone's girlfriend, 75 00:03:57,010 --> 00:03:59,020 you could never be someone's ex-girlfriend. 76 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,020 You know what? 77 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,020 I'm gonna spend as much time mourning this relationship 78 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,020 as he spent ending it. 79 00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:09,006 Okay, I'm over it. 80 00:04:09,012 --> 00:04:11,012 Hey. Let's go somewhere fantastic tonight 81 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:12,020 and have a fantastic time. 82 00:04:12,023 --> 00:04:14,023 What could we do that would be fantastic? 83 00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:15,998 I know. 84 00:04:16,002 --> 00:04:18,022 I'm taking you to Bed. 85 00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:19,019 I'm not that off men. 86 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:22,001 No, Bed, it's a new club opening tonight. 87 00:04:22,006 --> 00:04:23,016 We'll all go. 88 00:04:23,017 --> 00:04:25,007 I think I have the invitation. 89 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,015 Listen to me being all hurt. 90 00:04:27,022 --> 00:04:30,022 Look how many men have broken up with you, and you're fine. 91 00:04:31,016 --> 00:04:32,016 Ooh! 92 00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:37,009 Come to Be... Come to Bed. Wow. 93 00:04:37,007 --> 00:04:39,997 People say everything happens for a reason. 94 00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:42,005 These people are usually women. 95 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:46,005 And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. 96 00:04:46,014 --> 00:04:48,014 It seems that men can get out of a relationship 97 00:04:48,013 --> 00:04:49,023 without even a goodbye, 98 00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:53,011 but apparently women have to either get married 99 00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:54,999 or learn something. 100 00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:56,016 Why are we in such a rush 101 00:04:56,019 --> 00:05:00,009 to move from confused to Confucius? 102 00:05:00,015 --> 00:05:02,005 Do we search for "lessons" 103 00:05:02,014 --> 00:05:04,024 to lessen the pain? 104 00:05:04,021 --> 00:05:09,011 Meanwhile, Samantha was at home dressing a man for a change. 105 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:12,009 I called some designers and I told them that the Absolut Hunk 106 00:05:12,016 --> 00:05:16,016 was going to do TRL on MTV and they jumped ASAP. 107 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,000 Gucci, YSL, D&G... 108 00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:21,002 Take your pick. 109 00:05:21,006 --> 00:05:24,996 You know, I'm not really comfortable wearing labels. 110 00:05:25,003 --> 00:05:26,003 If it's okay with you... 111 00:05:26,005 --> 00:05:27,015 I thought I'd just wear some jeans and this. 112 00:05:27,023 --> 00:05:30,013 Mm. That'll work too. 113 00:05:30,011 --> 00:05:34,011 You are going to be the fantasy of every adolescent girl 114 00:05:34,015 --> 00:05:37,995 and sexually-confused boy in America. 115 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,015 -Mm... 116 00:05:39,017 --> 00:05:41,997 How'd I get hooked up with such an amazing girlfriend? 117 00:05:42,005 --> 00:05:45,015 And that was a label Samantha wasn't comfortable wearing. 118 00:05:45,019 --> 00:05:50,009 Okay, you should get ready. The car will be here any minute. 119 00:05:50,008 --> 00:05:51,008 You sure you can't come? 120 00:05:51,008 --> 00:05:53,008 Oh, I can't, I promised Carrie and the girls. 121 00:05:53,014 --> 00:05:56,014 But I will catch the replay tonight. 122 00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:59,008 Should I hook up with you later? 123 00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:01,022 No, go out with the MTV crowd and have fun. 124 00:06:01,019 --> 00:06:04,999 You're the Absolut Hunk, work it! 125 00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:07,005 And as your publicist, 126 00:06:07,007 --> 00:06:08,997 let me just say, 127 00:06:09,003 --> 00:06:11,013 calling someone your girlfriend 128 00:06:11,009 --> 00:06:13,999 isn't a good idea right now. 129 00:06:14,003 --> 00:06:16,023 -Someone or you? -Either way. 130 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:20,011 So when anyone asks if you have a girlfriend, 131 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:22,020 you should say you're "still looking... 132 00:06:22,021 --> 00:06:25,021 and haven't found anyone special yet." 133 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 That's what you want? 134 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:29,023 That's what I want. 135 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:31,011 Samantha. 136 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:36,011 But I do insist you top off that tank with Dior sunglasses. 137 00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,011 It's MTV, 138 00:06:38,007 --> 00:06:40,007 if you're not wearing something the kids can't afford, 139 00:06:40,011 --> 00:06:42,011 how will they know to look up to you? 140 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:46,000 There. 141 00:06:46,004 --> 00:06:48,004 Much better. 142 00:06:48,004 --> 00:06:51,014 That night, as Charlotte was deciding what to wear, 143 00:06:51,008 --> 00:06:54,018 she noticed that everything went with her new engagement ring... 144 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,020 except her old wedding dress. 145 00:07:01,002 --> 00:07:03,012 Meanwhile, in another closet... 146 00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:06,010 I don't think I can go. I'm not feeling so hot. 147 00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:08,021 -Are you sick? -No, I mean literally. 148 00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:12,011 Openings of hot new clubs are for hot childless people. 149 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:15,014 I'm not even one of the hot mommies at mommy and me. 150 00:07:15,011 --> 00:07:17,021 Miranda, I don't want to have to resort to this, 151 00:07:17,018 --> 00:07:20,018 but if I have to, I will play the post-it card. 152 00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:24,017 Just explain to me why I have to leave my house to go to bed. 153 00:07:24,017 --> 00:07:27,997 Because this can't be "the day that I was broken up with by a post-it." 154 00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:31,015 This has to be the day that something else happened. 155 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,017 How about "the day your friend discovered 156 00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:35,018 all her clothes are covered in spit-up?" 157 00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:38,010 You are going, no excuses. 158 00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:41,003 Okay, okay. 159 00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:45,015 And speaking of no excuses, there they were. 160 00:07:45,022 --> 00:07:47,012 Her skinny jeans, 161 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,998 the jeans every woman keeps in the vain hope 162 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,002 that someday she'll fit into them again. 163 00:08:11,018 --> 00:08:13,018 Oh, my God, Tony! What are you doing here? 164 00:08:13,017 --> 00:08:15,007 No, you did not come to this club. 165 00:08:15,014 --> 00:08:19,004 Ladies, this is a miracle. 166 00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:21,002 I am in my skinny jeans. 167 00:08:21,005 --> 00:08:24,005 I haven't fit into these since 1985, 168 00:08:24,011 --> 00:08:27,001 and that was only because I had mono. 169 00:08:28,005 --> 00:08:29,995 Miranda, I've never noticed before, 170 00:08:30,004 --> 00:08:32,014 but you've got one hot ass. 171 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,022 -Really? Yeah. 172 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:35,000 And you look good. 173 00:08:35,004 --> 00:08:36,004 How did you do it? 174 00:08:36,004 --> 00:08:38,014 Well, I got pregnant, became a single mother, 175 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,020 and stopped having any time to eat. 176 00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:42,001 Oh, that's a diet I won't be trying. 177 00:08:42,004 --> 00:08:44,024 I can't believe I am in my skinny jeans! 178 00:08:44,019 --> 00:08:46,019 I am never taking them off. Charlotte, can I wear these 179 00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:48,020 to your wedding? 180 00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:49,999 I'm kidding. 181 00:08:50,003 --> 00:08:51,023 Oh no, it's just... 182 00:08:51,019 --> 00:08:54,009 I just feel kind of silly that I made such a big fuss 183 00:08:54,015 --> 00:08:55,015 about my ring earlier. 184 00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:59,003 Oh, honey, a diamond that big deserves a parade. 185 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,016 But this is the second time around. 186 00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:02,013 I already did the showing of the ring... 187 00:09:02,016 --> 00:09:04,016 I already did the big wedding, you were there. 188 00:09:04,022 --> 00:09:06,002 -It was lovely. -Lovely. 189 00:09:06,002 --> 00:09:09,012 So this time I've decided that it should just be 190 00:09:09,011 --> 00:09:11,011 really small and tasteful. 191 00:09:11,013 --> 00:09:12,023 So no denim? 192 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,018 Right. 193 00:09:13,018 --> 00:09:15,018 And I don't want to disappoint you... 194 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,010 I've decided not to have bridesmaids. 195 00:09:19,009 --> 00:09:22,009 -Whoo-hoo! 196 00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:23,009 Hallelujah! 197 00:09:23,008 --> 00:09:24,018 Okay, let's go to Bed. 198 00:09:28,016 --> 00:09:31,996 Since people often go to bars to try and get someone into bed, 199 00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:34,014 it was only a matter of time 'til someone 200 00:09:34,013 --> 00:09:36,023 cut out the middle man and put the beds in bars. 201 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,020 Now this is my kind of place. 202 00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:42,000 And I thought they were being ironic. 203 00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:43,022 If I had know it was gonna be like this, 204 00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:46,000 I would have brought my bite guard. 205 00:09:47,015 --> 00:09:48,015 Um... 206 00:09:48,017 --> 00:09:50,007 Bed for four please. 207 00:09:50,015 --> 00:09:52,005 All the beds are booked right now. 208 00:09:52,011 --> 00:09:53,021 Oh, damn, that always happens to me. 209 00:09:53,023 --> 00:09:56,013 We're on the VIP list, Samantha Jones. 210 00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:59,001 Perfect. I'll be right back. 211 00:09:59,005 --> 00:10:01,005 I have to find a bathroom. 212 00:10:01,009 --> 00:10:03,019 -I need to pee. -Oh, really? 213 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:06,999 Or do you just want to stare at your ass in the mirror? 214 00:10:07,005 --> 00:10:08,015 Well, that too. 215 00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:10,011 Shake it, sister! 216 00:10:12,004 --> 00:10:13,024 -Whoo! 217 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,024 We're ready. Follow me. 218 00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:17,011 Oh... That was fast. 219 00:10:17,013 --> 00:10:20,013 What could I say, I know how to work it in Bed. 220 00:10:26,014 --> 00:10:28,014 Oh... 221 00:10:28,007 --> 00:10:29,997 And I didn't even have to buy you dinner. 222 00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:32,003 I'm sorry, someone pushed me. 223 00:10:32,002 --> 00:10:33,012 You want me to have 'em killed? 224 00:10:33,015 --> 00:10:35,015 -Would you? -Just say when. 225 00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:36,007 When. 226 00:10:36,015 --> 00:10:38,005 Okay, I'm bluffing. 227 00:10:38,011 --> 00:10:39,021 Yeah, I knew you were all talk. 228 00:10:39,023 --> 00:10:42,013 Yeah. I'm Peter. 229 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,018 Oh... Miranda. 230 00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:46,021 Well, thank you for letting me crash. 231 00:10:46,022 --> 00:10:48,002 Why don't you hang out? 232 00:10:48,006 --> 00:10:50,006 It's not that often I have such a beautiful woman 233 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:52,005 in bed with me. 234 00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:55,020 Oh. Okay. 235 00:10:55,018 --> 00:10:57,018 But move over, that's my side. 236 00:11:03,017 --> 00:11:06,007 All the men in here seem kind of old. 237 00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:08,011 That's because you're dating Smith. 238 00:11:08,008 --> 00:11:09,008 Who's basically a zygote. 239 00:11:09,015 --> 00:11:11,005 I am not dating him. I'm fucking him. 240 00:11:11,016 --> 00:11:14,006 And now, I'm looking for someone else to fuck. 241 00:11:14,012 --> 00:11:17,022 Well, I think you may have come to the right place. 242 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,010 This place is awesome! 243 00:11:21,008 --> 00:11:23,008 Oh, no. That's Berger's friend. 244 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,016 -Oh! -Where? 245 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,010 In the next bed. 246 00:11:26,008 --> 00:11:27,008 God, I hate New York. 247 00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:30,014 Is there no other club opening tonight? 248 00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:32,007 What should I do? 249 00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:34,008 Ignore them. 250 00:11:34,007 --> 00:11:34,997 No, I can't... 251 00:11:35,006 --> 00:11:37,006 It'll get back to Berger that I acted childish. 252 00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:39,020 Just go over there and say hi. 253 00:11:39,022 --> 00:11:41,022 Act like Berger's the last thing on your mind. 254 00:11:41,019 --> 00:11:43,999 Right. I'll take the high road. 255 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:48,014 I'll be calm and classy and just say hello. 256 00:11:50,016 --> 00:11:51,016 Billy, hi! 257 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:53,001 Hey, Carrie. 258 00:11:58,014 --> 00:12:00,024 -Hi, how are you? -Fuckin' great. 259 00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:03,998 Chris, Andrew, this is Berger's girlfriend, Carrie. 260 00:12:04,002 --> 00:12:05,012 Is Berger with you? 261 00:12:05,009 --> 00:12:07,999 Um... 262 00:12:09,005 --> 00:12:11,005 This is kind of uncomfortable... 263 00:12:11,011 --> 00:12:16,001 But... We broke up. This morning. 264 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,013 Oh. Man, I'm sorry to hear that. 265 00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:19,009 Yeah. 266 00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:22,023 Yeah, I knew you guys had all kinds of problems. 267 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,020 Yeah... 268 00:12:28,007 --> 00:12:29,017 And he was bad in bed. 269 00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:33,021 Well, you look great, Billy. 270 00:12:39,014 --> 00:12:41,024 You know that angry message I didn't want to leave 271 00:12:41,022 --> 00:12:44,012 on Berger's machine? I just left it on his friend. 272 00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:45,020 What happened? 273 00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:48,010 I took the lowest possible road. 274 00:12:48,012 --> 00:12:50,012 I told him Berger was bad in bed. 275 00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:52,000 Which isn't even true. 276 00:12:52,002 --> 00:12:54,012 Two times! Don't you forget anything? 277 00:12:54,016 --> 00:12:55,016 Why did you say that? 278 00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:58,021 I don't... It just came out. 279 00:12:58,021 --> 00:12:59,021 Well, it's understandable. 280 00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:02,011 You're suffering from post-it traumatic stress syndrome. 281 00:13:02,016 --> 00:13:04,996 I need to find a way to erase that message. 282 00:13:05,004 --> 00:13:07,014 Go back over there and explain. 283 00:13:07,015 --> 00:13:10,005 Just tell them you're hurt and that you didn't mean it. 284 00:13:10,009 --> 00:13:12,019 Oh, great, now I have to admit that I'm hurt? 285 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:16,007 First... A little nerve Clicquot. 286 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:32,006 Hey. Uh, that thing I said before? 287 00:13:32,016 --> 00:13:34,016 Terrible and not true. 288 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:37,002 He was fine in bed. 289 00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:42,023 Great, in fact. Fireworks. Rockets. 290 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,020 I don't even know why I said that. 291 00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:46,996 I'm... 292 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:49,020 hurt, okay? 293 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:50,020 Sure. 294 00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,001 Break-ups are tough. 295 00:13:52,006 --> 00:13:52,996 Yes. 296 00:13:53,004 --> 00:13:55,014 Under normal circumstances they are tough. 297 00:13:55,007 --> 00:13:58,007 And in this case... tougher. 298 00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:01,020 Look, I don't want to drag you into this, but, uh... 299 00:14:03,006 --> 00:14:06,006 Berger broke up with me on a post-it. 300 00:14:10,008 --> 00:14:13,998 Yeah, I know as Berger's friend, you can't have a normal reaction. 301 00:14:14,005 --> 00:14:18,005 But just so you know, the normal reaction has been... 302 00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:22,009 Not that I'm going around telling everyone. 303 00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:24,001 Just some girlfriends. 304 00:14:24,006 --> 00:14:26,016 I'm trying to understand 305 00:14:26,022 --> 00:14:29,012 why someone would do that. 306 00:14:29,008 --> 00:14:31,018 Well, maybe he was afraid. 307 00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,010 Interesting, how so? 308 00:14:33,014 --> 00:14:35,014 Women can get really angry. 309 00:14:35,012 --> 00:14:39,012 Well, I assure you, I would have been very understanding. 310 00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:40,017 Right. 311 00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:42,001 Excuse me? 312 00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:43,013 Um... 313 00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,010 You all say that, 314 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:47,013 but then you just freak and get all psycho-bitch. 315 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,021 Really? 316 00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:51,008 So now it's our fault? 317 00:14:51,013 --> 00:14:53,023 All we're saying is there really is no good way 318 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,018 to break up with someone, is there? 319 00:14:55,017 --> 00:14:57,017 Well, it's funny you should mention that, Billy, 320 00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,021 because actually there is. 321 00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:03,023 You can have the guts and the courtesy 322 00:15:03,021 --> 00:15:05,021 to tell a woman to her face 323 00:15:05,021 --> 00:15:07,011 that you no longer want to see her. 324 00:15:07,016 --> 00:15:11,016 Call me crazy, but I think that you can make a point 325 00:15:11,019 --> 00:15:13,019 of ending your relationship in a manner that does not 326 00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:17,021 include an e-mail, a doorman or a missing person's report. 327 00:15:17,019 --> 00:15:20,009 I think you could all get over your fear of 328 00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:22,000 looking like the bad guy 329 00:15:22,003 --> 00:15:25,013 and actually have the uncomfortable 330 00:15:25,009 --> 00:15:26,019 "break-up" conversation. 331 00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:28,011 Because here's what... 332 00:15:28,009 --> 00:15:31,009 Avoiding that is what makes you the bad guy. 333 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,020 -And just so you know, Allan... -Andrew. 334 00:15:33,023 --> 00:15:37,013 Uh-huh... Most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. 335 00:15:37,008 --> 00:15:40,018 We just want an ending to a relationship that... 336 00:15:40,017 --> 00:15:44,007 that is thoughtful and decent 337 00:15:44,016 --> 00:15:46,016 and honors what we had together. 338 00:15:46,019 --> 00:15:49,019 So my point, Billy, is this, 339 00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:51,017 there is a good way to break up with someone. 340 00:15:51,022 --> 00:15:55,012 And it doesn't include a post-it! 341 00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:59,021 Oh. Okay. 342 00:16:07,011 --> 00:16:08,021 Much better. 343 00:16:08,018 --> 00:16:11,008 Ya think? We have to get out of here immediately. 344 00:16:15,009 --> 00:16:18,009 So, what? You have a boyfriend? 345 00:16:18,016 --> 00:16:20,006 Me? No. 346 00:16:20,014 --> 00:16:21,024 Right. 347 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,010 I don't. 348 00:16:23,012 --> 00:16:24,012 Come on. 349 00:16:24,015 --> 00:16:26,005 How is that possible? 350 00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:31,020 I have no idea. 351 00:16:31,018 --> 00:16:33,018 Well, neither do I. 352 00:16:33,021 --> 00:16:35,021 You're hot. 353 00:16:35,022 --> 00:16:37,012 Hi. Sorry, we're leaving. 354 00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:39,020 I just learned you should never go to bed angry. 355 00:16:41,014 --> 00:16:45,004 Oh! Well... 356 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:49,004 Oh, well... It was really great meeting you. 357 00:16:49,003 --> 00:16:50,023 It was good to meet you. 358 00:16:50,021 --> 00:16:52,021 I'll see ya... 359 00:16:53,016 --> 00:16:54,006 And thanks. 360 00:16:54,016 --> 00:16:56,016 For what? 361 00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:03,011 Okay, so I'm angry. 362 00:17:03,011 --> 00:17:05,011 So those guys will tell Berger that I'm angry. 363 00:17:05,013 --> 00:17:06,023 I can live with that. 364 00:17:06,021 --> 00:17:08,021 C'mon, bro, give me a hit. 365 00:17:08,023 --> 00:17:10,013 Pass that back. -Ooh... 366 00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:12,022 You think that'll last? You got it, man... 367 00:17:13,016 --> 00:17:14,016 Do you smell that? 368 00:17:14,023 --> 00:17:16,023 -Pot. -Oh. 369 00:17:17,023 --> 00:17:19,013 Let's get high! 370 00:17:19,015 --> 00:17:20,015 I'd get high. 371 00:17:20,019 --> 00:17:22,009 Wait, are you serious? 372 00:17:22,015 --> 00:17:26,015 Yes! That's exactly what my mind needs, cloudiness. 373 00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:29,021 I'm still too lucid on the facts of the day and night. 374 00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:31,020 Hey, when was the last time you smoked pot? 375 00:17:31,023 --> 00:17:33,013 I think I was wearing these jeans. 376 00:17:33,015 --> 00:17:37,005 -I'm not smoking pot. -Post-it. 377 00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:39,010 How would we even get any? 378 00:17:39,009 --> 00:17:41,019 I'd call my dealer, but he's at the Cape. 379 00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:44,021 Oh, damn those dealers and their summer houses. 380 00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:46,021 I'll ask those guys. 381 00:17:48,015 --> 00:17:50,015 Excuse me, fellas? 382 00:17:50,019 --> 00:17:53,009 I got it... -Excuse me? 383 00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:54,019 Hey... 384 00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:56,020 Um... 385 00:17:56,023 --> 00:18:00,013 My friends and I were wondering if you knew... 386 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,023 I like her in those jeans. 387 00:18:02,017 --> 00:18:04,017 Is it safe to buy pot from strangers? 388 00:18:04,021 --> 00:18:07,011 They're not strangers, they're our new friends with pot. 389 00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:09,997 -Okay, thank you. 390 00:18:12,017 --> 00:18:13,007 Okay. 391 00:18:13,013 --> 00:18:16,003 They're going around the corner 392 00:18:16,002 --> 00:18:17,002 to Drown the Hound, 393 00:18:17,006 --> 00:18:18,016 there's a guy there who deals. 394 00:18:18,019 --> 00:18:21,019 And I get the one with the glasses. 395 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:24,007 My, when she scores, she scores. 396 00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:26,000 -Alright. 397 00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:29,013 There you go. Thanks a lot, Tommy. 398 00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:34,011 Mmm. Drown the Hound. 399 00:18:34,011 --> 00:18:37,001 And I thought they were being ironic. 400 00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:42,011 -I see our guys. -Yeah, go get our... 401 00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:47,000 If that last place was called Bed, 402 00:18:47,004 --> 00:18:48,024 then this should be called "Smell." 403 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,010 Well, hold your nose. 404 00:18:50,011 --> 00:18:53,001 I promised Smith I'd watch him on TRL 405 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,016 and this dump has a TV. 406 00:18:57,014 --> 00:18:59,024 What's this all over the floor? 407 00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,010 Peanut shells. 408 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,995 -Why? -I don't know. 409 00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:07,023 Do peanut shells have to happen for a reason? 410 00:19:07,018 --> 00:19:08,018 What can I get ya? 411 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,022 Here's a 20. 412 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,012 I assume in a place like this 413 00:19:11,009 --> 00:19:13,999 that covers three drinks and a channel change. 414 00:19:14,005 --> 00:19:16,995 Does the bride need another jello shot? 415 00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:18,006 No, I can't... 416 00:19:23,004 --> 00:19:25,014 -One more. -Look at them. 417 00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:27,014 -So happy. 418 00:19:28,012 --> 00:19:30,012 ♪ Here comes the bride ♪ 419 00:19:30,014 --> 00:19:33,014 Hey, sweetie, what's wrong? 420 00:19:33,016 --> 00:19:36,016 I just-- I wish I'd never been married before. 421 00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:38,000 But, if you hadn't married Trey, 422 00:19:38,006 --> 00:19:39,006 you wouldn't have met Harry-- 423 00:19:39,014 --> 00:19:44,004 I know, it's just, I hate that this is my second ring 424 00:19:44,002 --> 00:19:45,012 and that this is my second marriage. 425 00:19:45,015 --> 00:19:48,015 And I hate that I finally found the love of my life 426 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:52,000 and I can't celebrate it in a big, big way. 427 00:19:52,002 --> 00:19:54,022 You can do whatever you want. 428 00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,999 No, I can't. It's... 429 00:19:58,002 --> 00:20:00,002 It's inappropriate. 430 00:20:00,003 --> 00:20:01,003 Excuse me... 431 00:20:01,006 --> 00:20:03,996 Hi, would you take a picture of me and my girlfriends? 432 00:20:04,005 --> 00:20:05,005 She's getting married. 433 00:20:05,015 --> 00:20:07,995 -Sure. -Thank you. 434 00:20:11,005 --> 00:20:13,005 You know, she got engaged last night. 435 00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:14,013 Oh! That's great! 436 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,023 Congratulations! 437 00:20:16,001 --> 00:20:17,011 No, no, it's my second-- 438 00:20:17,014 --> 00:20:20,014 She's getting married to a wonderful man. 439 00:20:20,007 --> 00:20:21,997 And look at this rock. 440 00:20:22,004 --> 00:20:24,014 -Oh, wow! It's gorgeous! 441 00:20:24,009 --> 00:20:26,009 -It's beautiful! -Thank you... 442 00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:27,018 You have to be in the picture! 443 00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:28,021 No, that's okay. 444 00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:31,021 Come on. 445 00:20:31,018 --> 00:20:34,008 I'll take the camera... 446 00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:38,007 All right. Everyone say, "bride!" 447 00:20:38,012 --> 00:20:39,022 Bride! 448 00:20:43,023 --> 00:20:45,013 So when are you getting married? 449 00:20:45,008 --> 00:20:46,018 -What's the dress like? -Where's the reception? 450 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,020 And finally, Charlotte's inner-judge 451 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,000 was silenced by some very loud bachelorettes. 452 00:20:53,005 --> 00:20:55,015 Sorry, I guess he's not here tonight. 453 00:20:55,022 --> 00:20:59,002 Oh, well, you can't cry over spilt pot. 454 00:21:00,006 --> 00:21:01,006 I could buy you a drink. 455 00:21:01,013 --> 00:21:04,023 I said I was buying her a drink, dude. 456 00:21:04,019 --> 00:21:05,019 You have a girlfriend. 457 00:21:05,023 --> 00:21:07,013 Gentlemen, please... 458 00:21:07,008 --> 00:21:09,008 That's the secret of the skinny jeans. 459 00:21:09,012 --> 00:21:11,022 It's not so much a state of behind 460 00:21:11,017 --> 00:21:13,007 as a state of mind. 461 00:21:13,008 --> 00:21:15,998 What do I gotta do to get a beer around here? 462 00:21:16,005 --> 00:21:17,005 Hey, what's up? I'm La La. 463 00:21:17,013 --> 00:21:19,023 Now, you've seen him naked on a billboard 464 00:21:19,019 --> 00:21:20,999 right here in Times Square, 465 00:21:21,005 --> 00:21:22,995 and now he's on TRL, wearing clothes, 466 00:21:23,005 --> 00:21:24,005 damn, but it's still all good. 467 00:21:24,015 --> 00:21:27,005 He is the absolute hottest, the absolute awesome, 468 00:21:27,011 --> 00:21:28,021 the Absolut Hunk. 469 00:21:28,021 --> 00:21:30,021 Give it up for Smith Jerrod. 470 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:31,020 Hey! 471 00:21:33,011 --> 00:21:36,011 Man, we have a lot of fans in the house. 472 00:21:36,011 --> 00:21:38,011 Let's get right to some questions. 473 00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:40,013 Hi, I'm Amber. 474 00:21:40,016 --> 00:21:42,006 Hey, what's up, Amber? 475 00:21:42,011 --> 00:21:45,021 Nice, relaxed, sexy, yet modest. 476 00:21:45,023 --> 00:21:49,023 One, what is it like to be the Absolut Hunk? 477 00:21:49,019 --> 00:21:51,999 I have to say it's been a real trip, 478 00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:54,013 but I've met some really awesome people. 479 00:21:54,014 --> 00:21:56,014 You're hot enough to be on TV. 480 00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:59,004 -Take that to the dart board. And two, 481 00:21:59,003 --> 00:22:01,013 do you have a girlfriend? 482 00:22:01,013 --> 00:22:03,023 -No, I'm still looking. 483 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,010 Really, you're not dating anyone? 484 00:22:06,015 --> 00:22:09,015 I am dating, but I'm not seeing anyone special. 485 00:22:11,013 --> 00:22:14,013 And even though Samantha had designed it herself... 486 00:22:14,014 --> 00:22:16,024 She realized "no one special" 487 00:22:16,021 --> 00:22:19,011 was another label she didn't care for. 488 00:22:19,014 --> 00:22:21,014 I changed my mind. 489 00:22:22,017 --> 00:22:25,007 Kiss me. 490 00:22:25,008 --> 00:22:27,018 And to prove that Smith was no one special to her, 491 00:22:27,023 --> 00:22:30,013 she kissed someone even less special. 492 00:22:30,012 --> 00:22:32,022 Unfortunately, he was someone special 493 00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:34,000 to a somewhat drunk person. 494 00:22:34,006 --> 00:22:36,006 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 495 00:22:36,012 --> 00:22:37,012 What happened? 496 00:22:37,011 --> 00:22:38,011 She kissed Frankie! 497 00:22:38,011 --> 00:22:41,011 Ho, who the fuck do you think you are, huh? 498 00:22:41,009 --> 00:22:42,009 Fucking city girls, 499 00:22:42,014 --> 00:22:44,014 you think you're such hot shit that you can go around 500 00:22:44,011 --> 00:22:46,001 kissing other girls' boyfriends? 501 00:22:46,004 --> 00:22:47,014 I'm gonna kick your ass. 502 00:22:47,016 --> 00:22:49,006 I'm gonna slap the shit outta you. 503 00:22:49,007 --> 00:22:51,997 -Ah! -Oh, my God! 504 00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:53,013 -Relax! Oh, yeah? 505 00:22:53,015 --> 00:22:55,005 You fuckin' relax! 506 00:22:59,018 --> 00:23:01,008 If I ever fucking see you again, 507 00:23:01,009 --> 00:23:03,009 I'm gonna put my shoe so far up your ass 508 00:23:03,016 --> 00:23:05,016 you're gonna taste leather! 509 00:23:06,023 --> 00:23:08,023 Oh... 510 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:12,010 Okay, I get it. Angry women can be scary. 511 00:23:12,009 --> 00:23:15,019 Very few women can pull off anger in a tube top. 512 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:17,010 Ugh... 513 00:23:17,007 --> 00:23:19,017 This night is turning into a total bust. 514 00:23:19,020 --> 00:23:22,000 -Not total. 515 00:23:23,006 --> 00:23:25,016 -Oh, my God, I love you! 516 00:23:25,022 --> 00:23:28,012 Where did you get that? 517 00:23:28,012 --> 00:23:32,022 Well, apparently, $20 will buy you three drinks... 518 00:23:32,022 --> 00:23:33,022 Uh-huh. 519 00:23:33,019 --> 00:23:35,019 ...a channel change, and a joint. 520 00:23:35,019 --> 00:23:37,999 Alright. 521 00:23:43,023 --> 00:23:46,003 Fucking men. 522 00:23:50,006 --> 00:23:52,006 Men are bullshit. 523 00:23:52,010 --> 00:23:53,020 Mm. 524 00:23:53,022 --> 00:23:55,022 That's what I'm talking about. 525 00:23:55,022 --> 00:23:58,012 Being someone's girlfriend. 526 00:23:58,007 --> 00:24:00,007 Mmm-mmm. 527 00:24:01,021 --> 00:24:03,001 No good can come of it. 528 00:24:03,005 --> 00:24:04,015 That's what I'm saying. 529 00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:10,004 Wow. 530 00:24:11,003 --> 00:24:14,013 -This is strong weed. Mm... -Mm. 531 00:24:16,003 --> 00:24:17,023 Oh. 532 00:24:19,021 --> 00:24:21,021 It's Smith. 533 00:24:22,019 --> 00:24:24,009 -Hello? -Hi, did you see me? 534 00:24:24,013 --> 00:24:25,023 Yes, we saw it. 535 00:24:25,023 --> 00:24:28,023 -How did I do? -Perfect, just like we planned. 536 00:24:28,021 --> 00:24:32,001 -Can you hear me? 537 00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:35,013 I'm not getting any reception here. Let me-- 538 00:24:35,011 --> 00:24:37,011 -Hel-- -Are you there? 539 00:24:37,012 --> 00:24:41,012 As I contemplated the fact that my relationship had gone to pot, 540 00:24:41,016 --> 00:24:44,996 literally, I realized no high, 541 00:24:45,003 --> 00:24:49,013 or low, would make this day any day other than 542 00:24:49,014 --> 00:24:52,024 "the day I got broken up with by a post-it." 543 00:24:52,022 --> 00:24:55,012 Police. 544 00:24:55,009 --> 00:24:56,999 Stay right where you are. 545 00:24:59,009 --> 00:25:00,019 That's the way it goes. 546 00:25:00,018 --> 00:25:02,998 -We have to take her downtown. Officer, please. 547 00:25:03,004 --> 00:25:05,024 I'm a lawyer and a mother. This woman is my friend, 548 00:25:05,022 --> 00:25:08,012 and she's an extremely law-abiding citizen. 549 00:25:08,011 --> 00:25:10,011 Who just broke the law. 550 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:11,999 Yes, but in her defense, 551 00:25:12,005 --> 00:25:14,015 she has had a very, very bad day. 552 00:25:14,023 --> 00:25:16,023 Her boyfriend just broke up with her. 553 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:17,020 On a post-it. 554 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000 Come on. 555 00:25:19,003 --> 00:25:21,013 That didn't happen. 556 00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:26,013 "I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me." 557 00:25:28,014 --> 00:25:31,024 Wow. Brutal. 558 00:25:31,019 --> 00:25:35,009 Tell you what, I'll write you up for smoking in a bar. 559 00:25:35,007 --> 00:25:37,017 Oh, come on. Can't you just let her off? 560 00:25:37,020 --> 00:25:41,020 I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me. 561 00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:46,002 Oh, hear that. 562 00:25:46,005 --> 00:25:47,015 It's midnight. 563 00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:51,020 The official end to what will now be known as 564 00:25:51,017 --> 00:25:56,017 "the day I got arrested for smoking a doobie." 565 00:25:56,017 --> 00:25:59,007 I said doobie. This is gr-- 566 00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:03,020 You didn't get arrested. 567 00:26:04,001 --> 00:26:07,011 See? Your post-it was your get-out-of-jail-free card, 568 00:26:07,011 --> 00:26:09,001 so if you never met Berger, then you-- 569 00:26:09,004 --> 00:26:11,014 Stop, you're killing my buzz. 570 00:26:11,007 --> 00:26:13,007 I have to say, I'm starting to agree 571 00:26:13,012 --> 00:26:15,002 with Charlotte's way of thinking. 572 00:26:15,005 --> 00:26:18,015 If I hadn't accidentally gotten pregnant by Steve, 573 00:26:18,019 --> 00:26:20,009 I never would have had Brady... 574 00:26:20,010 --> 00:26:22,010 -Awww... -I'm not finished. 575 00:26:22,008 --> 00:26:23,008 And had no time to eat, 576 00:26:23,008 --> 00:26:26,018 so I never would have fit into my skinny jeans 577 00:26:26,022 --> 00:26:30,022 and realized this city is full of cute men! 578 00:26:30,018 --> 00:26:33,008 Now that's my kind of thinking. 579 00:26:33,014 --> 00:26:36,014 Carrie, don't Bogart the split. 580 00:26:36,013 --> 00:26:39,013 Okay, I know what I learned from my Berger relationship. 581 00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:49,997 Wait a minute, I just had it. 582 00:26:52,021 --> 00:26:53,021 What? 583 00:26:54,001 --> 00:26:55,011 You know what? 584 00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:57,013 I changed my mind. 585 00:26:57,009 --> 00:26:59,009 You don't think everything happens for a reason? 586 00:26:59,008 --> 00:27:00,008 No, no, not about that, about the wedding. 587 00:27:00,016 --> 00:27:04,016 I really want you guys to be my bridesmaids. 588 00:27:06,005 --> 00:27:08,995 You don't have to wear the matching dresses, I promise. 589 00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:11,004 Alright. I'll eat to that! 590 00:27:11,005 --> 00:27:13,995 -Can I get that in writing? 591 00:27:14,004 --> 00:27:17,024 Oh. I think I've had enough. My jeans just popped. 592 00:27:24,017 --> 00:27:27,997 I might never find the lesson in why Berger and I split, 593 00:27:28,005 --> 00:27:29,015 but at least, for the moment, 594 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000 there was a banana split.