1 00:00:57,875 --> 00:00:58,995 Here's your drink. 2 00:00:59,083 --> 00:01:00,753 [Carrie] In the life of a New Yorker, 3 00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:02,584 there are several unpleasant things 4 00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,787 one will inevitably have to face. 5 00:01:04,875 --> 00:01:06,455 Having your purse stolen. 6 00:01:06,542 --> 00:01:10,882 Random public urination. 7 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,629 And seeing a gay friend's boyfriend in a Broadway review. 8 00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:17,169 ♪ And all that jazz ♪ 9 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,880 I think I understand the three drink minimum now. 10 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,079 You're not enjoying the review? 11 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,496 ♪ And all that jazz ♪ 12 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,423 Frankly I'm more concerned about my own review in The Times. 13 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,920 Oh my God, right, your book's reviewed this week. 14 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,080 You must be so excited. 15 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:34,166 More like terrified. Michiko Kakutani. 16 00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:36,751 She's The Times' book critic. 17 00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:39,004 Oh, I thought you were suggesting an appetizer. 18 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,883 She's brilliant and she's really tough. 19 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:42,499 And impossible to pronounce. 20 00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:43,633 ♪ For all... ♪ 21 00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:45,919 [Carrie] Uh-oh, I think they're bringin' us home. 22 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:46,830 [chuckles] 23 00:01:46,917 --> 00:01:47,997 ♪ That... ♪ 24 00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:50,633 How could you not love this? Look at my boyfriend? 25 00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:52,169 [Stanford] He's gorgeous! 26 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:54,580 [Carrie] Oh-ho-ho-ho. And he can kick. 27 00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:55,667 [chuckles] 28 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,417 ♪ That jazz ♪ 29 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,380 -Bravo! -Bravo! 30 00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:02,668 [Stanford laughingly] Bravo! 31 00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:04,250 -[man] Love you! -Bravo! 32 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,673 [Debbie] Thank you! 33 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,710 My boys Marcus Adan and... 34 00:02:07,792 --> 00:02:09,922 Isn't he great? He's great, don't you think? 35 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,790 -I have to go to the ladies room. -[man] Encore! 36 00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:13,495 Now? They're gonna do an encore. 37 00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:16,083 Uh-huh... I have to go to the ladies room. 38 00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:19,166 [male announcer] Broadway's best, Debbie Cass. 39 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,250 Yes! 40 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,333 [Nina] Who would have thought the phrase, 41 00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:24,457 "Go see your cousin Debbie's club act" 42 00:02:24,542 --> 00:02:25,962 could contain such horror? 43 00:02:26,041 --> 00:02:29,211 [Jen] Oh, I thought there'd be at least one straight guy here. 44 00:02:29,291 --> 00:02:32,831 I mean, if not in the audience, then at least behind the bar. 45 00:02:32,917 --> 00:02:34,127 [toilet flushing] 46 00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:36,998 [Nina] Well, hold on, 'cause tomorrow, 47 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,753 we're gonna cruise the cute pretzel guys 48 00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:41,794 -at the Village Square Market. -[Jen laughs] Oh, my God. 49 00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,325 Is that as sad as that just sounded? 50 00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:44,417 [Jen laughs] 51 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,790 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 52 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,995 I used to have a thing for the Amish guys 53 00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:50,333 -who make hair brushes. -[Nina] Um... 54 00:02:50,417 --> 00:02:52,827 Yeah. 55 00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:56,957 [Nina] Hi. You're Carrie Bradshaw. 56 00:02:57,041 --> 00:02:58,671 Yeah. Have we met? 57 00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:00,710 I recognize you from your column. 58 00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:02,002 Oh. 59 00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:04,583 And I went out with Aidan right after you. 60 00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:06,575 Phew! 61 00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:11,877 There I was worried about The New York Times 62 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,079 when apparently... I'd already been reviewed. 63 00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:16,916 I'm tellin' you, it was a hit and run. 64 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,000 No, no, no, no, no. It was a face and run. 65 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:21,503 Make it again. 66 00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:23,003 [sucks in air] 67 00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:24,213 Yeah, that ain't good. 68 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,211 I think you're being oversensitive 69 00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:28,461 and it was some kind of a facial spasm or something. 70 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,962 A lot of people have them, like Bell's palsy. 71 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:33,041 No. It was not Bell's palsy. 72 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,285 It was a full frontal attack of the face. 73 00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:39,035 Like uh... Wow, was he messed up. 74 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:41,325 You really screwed him up good. 75 00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:42,747 What did you say to her? 76 00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:44,294 I didn't have time to say anything. 77 00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:45,995 She just ran outta the bathroom. 78 00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,133 Fuck that fucking face girl. 79 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:50,128 Well, when you put it like that. 80 00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:52,168 I'm sorry. I haven't slept for days. 81 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,420 Brady's been crying nonstop. 82 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,210 You poor thing, can I do anything? 83 00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:58,131 [exhale] Put me out of my misery. 84 00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,578 Well what's wrong with him, is he sick? 85 00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:02,417 No, he's not sick. 86 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,380 He's not hungry, he's not teething, 87 00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:05,538 he just wants to scream. 88 00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:08,035 I'm doing everything I can, but I can't please him. 89 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,495 If he was 35, this is when we would break up. 90 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,713 He has issues, clearly. 91 00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:14,832 I'm telling you. This 13 pound meatloaf 92 00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:17,577 is pushing me over the edge. I feel disgusting! 93 00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,417 All of my clothes smell like barf. 94 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,290 I don't have time to have a shower much less get a haircut. 95 00:04:22,375 --> 00:04:25,495 Oh, that reminds me. I have to confirm my appointment 96 00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:28,423 with John Mandee at the John Mandee Salon. 97 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:32,380 You have no idea how hard it was to get this appointment. 98 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,918 Hi, it's Samantha Jones. 99 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,420 I'm calling to confirm my appointment Saturday. 100 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,000 For a cut and color with John. 101 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:43,633 Thanks. Crisis averted. [chuckles] 102 00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:47,205 Well... Magda's waiting for me. 103 00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:48,461 Time to go back to prison. 104 00:04:48,542 --> 00:04:50,172 Let me come with you, I can help. 105 00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:51,580 You don't have to do that. 106 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,877 No, it's okay, actually I have a few questions 107 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:56,419 because I'm meeting with a divorce lawyer on Monday. 108 00:04:56,500 --> 00:05:00,000 Oh, ask him if I could get an injunction to stop a face. 109 00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:01,463 Who'd you get? 110 00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,632 Matthew Bloom of Bloom & Goldenblatt. 111 00:05:03,709 --> 00:05:05,289 -Mm... -What's he like? 112 00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:07,535 He's smart. He's tough. 113 00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:10,125 But is he tough enough to beat Bunny to a pulp? 114 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:12,038 Uhh... Yeah. 115 00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,415 Good! 116 00:05:14,041 --> 00:05:15,501 Okay. Great. 117 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,133 -Bye, guys. Have a nice day. -Bye. 118 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,538 Hey, Miranda, call me if you need anything. 119 00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:20,575 Yeah. [sighs] 120 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:22,207 [Charlotte] Come on, Miranda. 121 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:25,041 Damn, why is that girl still bothering me? 122 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,375 Honey, you have to let it go. 123 00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,168 If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, 124 00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,710 I'd never leave the house. 125 00:05:30,792 --> 00:05:32,132 [laughs] 126 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:35,248 [Carrie] Early Monday morning, Charlotte met with her lawyer. 127 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:37,383 He was smart, tough... 128 00:05:37,458 --> 00:05:38,538 And gorgeous. 129 00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:40,375 You said on the phone you had some bad feelings 130 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,038 about your mother-in-law, Bunny MacDougal. 131 00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:45,077 Did I? 132 00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,456 I get a sense from her lawyer 133 00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:48,172 this is gonna be a bit of a battle. 134 00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:49,040 Oh. 135 00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:50,625 [Carrie] It was a battle alright. 136 00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:52,129 The battle of the Charlottes. 137 00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:54,498 The Charlotte who wanted to seem attractive 138 00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,133 to her adorable lawyer. 139 00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:59,418 And the Charlotte who wanted to kick Bunny MacDougal's ass. 140 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,380 It looks to me that Mrs. MacDougal's been very busy 141 00:06:02,458 --> 00:06:05,168 hiding assets to make sure you don't get... well, 142 00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:06,330 anything. 143 00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:08,537 Hm... 144 00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:12,125 Well, I just really want what was promised. 145 00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:13,208 I want my apartment. 146 00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:15,461 Well, technically, it's not your apartment. 147 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,042 Trey's family owns it. 148 00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,325 And she was very careful 149 00:06:18,417 --> 00:06:19,787 to make sure your name was never on the deed. 150 00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:22,575 What? Trey gave me that apartment! 151 00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:26,127 Sorry. Usually I'm a very refined person. 152 00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:27,668 Well, with your husband out of the country, 153 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,580 I'm gonna need you to be more specific. 154 00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:31,707 [Carrie] Charlotte realized she could never be 155 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,132 as ugly as she needed to be in front of a man 156 00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,828 she considered so handsome. 157 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,877 Up-bup-bup-bup-bup, sorry to bust in. 158 00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:40,289 There's a bagel over here with my name on it. 159 00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:41,665 My partner, Harry Goldenblatt. 160 00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:44,500 Harry... Charlotte York. I'm handling her divorce. 161 00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:45,583 Hey, how ya doin'? 162 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,827 Uh, you're in the right hands here. 163 00:06:47,917 --> 00:06:52,207 He's a killer. Oh, agh, ew... [spits] 164 00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:55,131 Who the hell ordered blueberry bagels? 165 00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:57,418 I'm talkin' to Thelma about this. 166 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,290 Good luck to you. 167 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,250 [chuckles] 168 00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,173 Is he a killer, too? 169 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:08,330 [Carrie] And just like that... Charlotte changed lawyers. 170 00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:12,581 After a grueling day 171 00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:15,707 which included leg, eyebrow and bikini waxes... 172 00:07:15,792 --> 00:07:20,042 Samantha decided to reward herself with a night of R&R. 173 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,168 [sighs] 174 00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:27,420 [short circuiting sounds] 175 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:31,670 Unfortunately, her favorite vibrator needed a little CPR. 176 00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:34,665 [shorting out] 177 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,133 Ugh! 178 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:46,168 [crying] 179 00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:52,380 Brady, please, what? I cannot read your mind. 180 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,705 [doorbell ringing] 181 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,206 Who is it? 182 00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:04,881 [Kendall] 4-D. 183 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,254 It's 2:30 in the morning. 184 00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,253 I know. I'm sorry. 185 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:12,543 You gotta stop that baby from crying. 186 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:15,705 Look, I said I was sorry. But I have a baby, 187 00:08:15,792 --> 00:08:18,632 and sometimes babies make noise, that's what they do. 188 00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:20,709 I know that. I have a baby, too. 189 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,082 And if you ever bothered to say hello in the elevator, 190 00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,456 you would know that. 191 00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:29,212 I'm Kendall, my baby is Aleika. Have a nice night. 192 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,671 [Carrie] Evidently, Miranda had been getting bad reviews 193 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:34,290 from inside her own building. 194 00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:35,785 As for my review, 195 00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:37,165 I guess I was pretty nervous. 196 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,670 -Times. -[man] Thank you. 197 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:42,080 [Carrie] I hadn't been up this early since Princess Diana's wedding. 198 00:08:42,917 --> 00:08:45,457 Thank you. Okay. 199 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,037 Good morning. 200 00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:51,827 "All in all, 201 00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:54,787 I enjoyed spending time in Ms. Bradshaw's 202 00:08:54,875 --> 00:08:57,665 sharp, funny, finely-drawn world 203 00:08:57,750 --> 00:09:01,420 where single women rule and the men are disposable." 204 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,627 Ouch. 205 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:07,709 Carrie, I believe what you have there is a rave review 206 00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,132 from The New York Times. 207 00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:11,708 "The men are disposable"? 208 00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:14,082 -I don't dispose of men, do I? -No. 209 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:17,826 Well, Michiko Kakutani thinks so and I always agree with her. 210 00:09:17,917 --> 00:09:19,667 Fuck Michiko Kakutani. 211 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:20,880 Oh, no sleep again? 212 00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:24,039 Actually, it was a good night. 213 00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:26,665 I got a whole hour. [heavy sighs] 214 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:30,710 I can't believe I have to go and pretend to be a lawyer now. 215 00:09:30,792 --> 00:09:33,462 [sighs] Can I wear a baseball cap to work? 216 00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:35,502 -With what shoes? -[laughs weakly] 217 00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:38,713 Oh, my God. Listen to me going on and on about Michiko Kakutani 218 00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:40,922 when you have real problems. 219 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,750 So can I obsess for another minute? 220 00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,544 Just don't say her name again. 221 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:45,955 It'll push me over the edge. 222 00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:46,921 So, yes! 223 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,330 Some of the men in the book 224 00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:51,747 are maybe a little disposable, but... this makes it sound 225 00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:55,004 like I think men are disposable in life. 226 00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:58,083 What? What's with the pause? 227 00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:01,416 [gasping] I'm sorry, I fell asleep for a second. 228 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,500 That's a terrible thing to think about me. 229 00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:07,963 Oh, my God! That's what the face meant. 230 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:11,131 Do you think that Aidan thinks that I think he was disposable? 231 00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,828 Carrie, you did not throw Aidan away. 232 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,917 -Good morning. -Shh... 233 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,420 [Carrie] Well, that girl thinks I did. 234 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,960 He must've said something like that to her. 235 00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:19,831 [door closing] 236 00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,747 Where else would she get it? 237 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,084 Steve and Aidan are close, 238 00:10:23,166 --> 00:10:25,206 has Steve ever said anything to you? 239 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,461 Does Steve hate me now? 240 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,582 Carrie, you're spinning. 241 00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:29,957 Steve doesn't hate you. 242 00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:31,791 Then how come I never see him anymore. 243 00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:34,875 You never see him because I have to keep him away 244 00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:37,289 because... If I see him now 245 00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:40,455 I'll ask him to marry me just to give me some help. 246 00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,792 [Carrie] I worked very hard at taking care of Aidan's feelings. 247 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:45,495 Will you mention that to Steve? 248 00:10:45,583 --> 00:10:47,083 Because if Aidan told Steve that I-- 249 00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:48,916 Carrie, you know what? 250 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,250 Maybe you should call your girlfriend, Samantha. 251 00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:54,833 She has all kinds of time to talk about this kind of stuff. 252 00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:57,127 Look, I know it's me... 253 00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:59,248 And I'm jealous of her free time and all. 254 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:02,463 But if she could maybe just once acknowledge the fact 255 00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,082 that I've had a baby... 256 00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:11,133 [sighs] 257 00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,958 It's not enough I've alienated my neighbor. 258 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,131 Now I'm alienating my friends. 259 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:17,628 You're not alienating anyone. 260 00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:18,919 Tell that to 4-D. 261 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,540 She's pissed off I don't know her name. 262 00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,325 Do you know your neighbors' names? 263 00:11:22,417 --> 00:11:23,747 Please. 264 00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:25,884 I'm a bad neighbor and a bad mother. 265 00:11:25,959 --> 00:11:27,999 That's not true, you're doin' great. 266 00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:29,633 Yeah, right. 267 00:11:29,709 --> 00:11:31,919 [Carrie] You're just having a bad week. 268 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,630 Can I do anything to help? 269 00:11:33,709 --> 00:11:36,919 That helps. Just asking. 270 00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:39,625 I'm late, I gotta go. 271 00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:42,249 Congratulations on the review. 272 00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,383 Yeah. 273 00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:54,713 Why is it that we only seem to believe the negative things 274 00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:56,212 people say about us? 275 00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:59,331 No matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. 276 00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:01,207 A neighbor, a face, 277 00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,211 an ex-boyfriend can cancel out 278 00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:05,791 everything we thought was once true. 279 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:09,035 Odd, but when it comes to life and love, 280 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:12,245 why do we believe our worst reviews? 281 00:12:13,542 --> 00:12:15,332 [gasping] 282 00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:17,875 [baby crying] 283 00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:22,709 After a long day in court, Miranda faced another jury. 284 00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:24,922 [baby crying] 285 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,630 Don't cry, don't cry. 286 00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:38,831 [baby crying] 287 00:12:49,208 --> 00:12:50,668 [Carrie] And at City Bakery, 288 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,420 Samantha and I were reviewing the desserts. 289 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,000 Mm-mm, delish. 290 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,923 Hey, I'll buy you dessert if you do something for me. 291 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,630 I'm not eating desserts this week. 292 00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:02,959 Oh, come on, best brownies in New York. 293 00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,921 -Bastard. -[Carrie giggles] 294 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,920 I'll take a brownie. 295 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,420 What do you need me to do? 296 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,080 It's about Miranda and the baby. 297 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,076 Forget the brownie. 298 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,666 No. She'll take the brownie. 299 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:17,290 Babies are not my scene. 300 00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:20,165 And from what I've heard, this one sounds like an asshole. 301 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,710 You can't call a baby an asshole. 302 00:13:22,792 --> 00:13:24,292 Why not? She called it a meatloaf. 303 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,245 I don't think it would kill all of us 304 00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:28,333 to be a little more supportive. 305 00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:29,957 Oh, alright. 306 00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:31,671 When he's in college, I'll take him for a drink 307 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:33,750 and I'll flirt with his friends. How's that? 308 00:13:33,834 --> 00:13:36,174 Maybe you could just stop by tomorrow 309 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,960 and say, "I hear you had a baby, how's that goin'?" 310 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:42,171 Carrie, I have no time, I'm booked all day. 311 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,460 I have my hair appointment 312 00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,922 and I'm returning a vibrator before that. 313 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,500 Hair and a vibrator. 314 00:13:48,583 --> 00:13:52,883 Yes. That is my life and I don't have to justify it. 315 00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:54,459 I hate it when people have babies 316 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,752 and they suddenly expect you to turn into some kind of 317 00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,174 Norman Rockwell painting. 318 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,540 We're not talking about people. 319 00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:03,625 We're talking about our friend, and she's sinking. 320 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:08,130 What, so Miranda's like Venice? 321 00:14:08,208 --> 00:14:09,878 [woman] That'll be $14.20. 322 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,710 She's paying for the brownie. 323 00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,075 Carrie? 324 00:14:16,875 --> 00:14:19,705 Oh, hey. Julia, hi! 325 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,002 Oh, um... This is my friend, Samantha. 326 00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:24,833 This is Julia Afton, we work together at Vogue. 327 00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:25,957 -Hi. -Hi. Hardly... 328 00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:27,671 She gets to run in and out once a month 329 00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:30,000 while I'm chained to the hem of Anna Wintour. 330 00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:31,503 [laughs] 331 00:14:31,583 --> 00:14:33,173 Oh, there's my friend, Nina! 332 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:34,420 I'm here. 333 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,127 [Julia] It is about time. 334 00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,998 [Nina] Hey, sorry I'm late. 335 00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,035 Carrie, hi. 336 00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:43,285 [Carrie] There I was... 337 00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,415 Face to face with the face girl. 338 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,500 And how do you two know each other? 339 00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:48,633 I'll tell you over lunch. 340 00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:51,379 [Samantha] Nina Katz? Hi. Samantha Jones. 341 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,418 Oh, hi. Nice to see you again. 342 00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,205 Um, can we eat? 343 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:56,831 I am starvation central. 344 00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:58,417 Okey-dokey. See ya. 345 00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,750 Bye, Carrie. 346 00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:04,995 How do you know Nina Katz? 347 00:15:05,083 --> 00:15:06,423 Everybody knows Nina Katz. 348 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:07,830 She's the booker for Saturday Night Live. 349 00:15:07,917 --> 00:15:11,037 Well, she's also the face girl. 350 00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:12,075 -No! -Yes. 351 00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:14,166 Nina Katz is the... [sucks in air] 352 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:15,330 Exactly. 353 00:15:15,417 --> 00:15:17,827 Oh, great, that face'll be all over Vogue. 354 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,667 Not to mention SNL. Nina Katz loves to talk. 355 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,750 -$15.30. -I... 356 00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:27,334 I'm going to need a big brownie as well. So... 357 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,580 The next day, 358 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,327 Samantha did some personal shopping. 359 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,003 Very personal. 360 00:15:35,917 --> 00:15:37,667 -Can I help you? -Yes. 361 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,210 I'd like to return this vibrator. 362 00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:42,496 We don't sell vibrators. 363 00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:44,753 Yes, you do, I bought it here six months ago. 364 00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:48,084 That's not a vibrator. It's a neck massager. 365 00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,076 No, it's a vibrator. 366 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:53,456 Sharper Image doesn't sell vibrators. 367 00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:54,792 It's a neck massager. 368 00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:57,125 You expect me to believe that women buy these 369 00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:58,748 to help their sore necks? 370 00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,294 It's a neck massager. 371 00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:04,285 Fine. I'd like to return this neck massager. 372 00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:05,625 What's wrong with it? 373 00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,709 It failed to get me off. 374 00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:11,787 It has a warranty and it just stopped. 375 00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,455 Made the saddest little sound. 376 00:16:13,542 --> 00:16:15,172 Perhaps you wore it out. 377 00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:17,290 Well, honey, it wouldn't be the first one. 378 00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:20,625 Fine. Just... find another 379 00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:22,579 and go to the cashier. 380 00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:28,212 I know a man who's in desperate need of a neck massage. 381 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:29,331 [chuckles] 382 00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:34,711 Oh, you don't want that one. Too many bells and whistles. 383 00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,578 That one actually works against you. 384 00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,917 If we wanted to work that hard, we'd get us a man. 385 00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:43,171 Am I right? 386 00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:46,000 [Carrie] Samantha instantly established herself... 387 00:16:46,083 --> 00:16:49,043 as the Michiko Kakutani of vibrators. 388 00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:51,785 I-- I think that one actually is a back massager. 389 00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:53,075 Not if you mount it. 390 00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:54,416 Ooh. 391 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:59,000 No, absolutely not. That will burn your clit off. 392 00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,333 Even with underwear? 393 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:02,127 Even with ski pants. 394 00:17:03,792 --> 00:17:06,632 [baby crying] 395 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:07,959 [Miranda] Come on. 396 00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:12,455 [knocking at door] 397 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,037 [Kendall] I brought you something. 398 00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:25,625 [baby crying] 399 00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:28,039 Well, it belongs to Aleika. 400 00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:29,495 An oscillating chair. 401 00:17:31,041 --> 00:17:32,291 It helps. 402 00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:34,712 Come on in. 403 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,172 [baby crying] 404 00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,670 [laughs softly] Hey... 405 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,210 Hey there, Mr. Mouth. 406 00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:45,671 What have you got to say that is so important? 407 00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:48,630 I'm sorry, it's just been nonstop. 408 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,671 Now this chair 409 00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:54,880 is a little controversial. 410 00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,539 But I don't give a shit, 411 00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:58,285 as it stopped my baby from crying 412 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:01,705 when I was about ready to throw myself off the fire escape. 413 00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,132 [laugh] Sounds good. 414 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,378 Okay, now. 415 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,580 [crying stops] 416 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,747 [Miranda] Oh, my God. 417 00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,424 The chair is genius. 418 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,880 I don't know, something about the vibration... 419 00:18:16,959 --> 00:18:18,959 I don't know. They love it. 420 00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,251 Aleika could sit in it for hours. 421 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,503 [laughs] 422 00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:25,633 So, how come you haven't heard about this? 423 00:18:25,709 --> 00:18:27,879 Don't your girlfriends have babies? 424 00:18:27,959 --> 00:18:29,829 No. I'm the only one. 425 00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:32,417 Ooh, then you're screwed. 426 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,000 Actually, they've been very helpful. 427 00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:36,833 If they don't have kids, they don't have a clue. 428 00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:43,165 Miranda, you're not a bad mother. 429 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,923 You just didn't have the chair. 430 00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:48,421 [laughs] 431 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,880 Thank you. 432 00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:54,575 -Kendall. -[laughs] 433 00:18:58,959 --> 00:19:02,079 [Carrie] Three blissful baby hours later... 434 00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:03,786 Samantha, what are you doing here? 435 00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,205 I'm not Samantha, you are. 436 00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:06,791 You have a 5:30 appointment 437 00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:10,165 with John Mandee at the John Mandee Salon. Go! 438 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,960 What? 439 00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,131 Uh, I can't take your-- 440 00:19:13,208 --> 00:19:15,668 I'm counting to five and then I'm changing my mind. 441 00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:17,250 -Really? -Uh-huh. 442 00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,333 You wanna babysit? 443 00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:19,787 Five, four-- 444 00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:22,125 Okay! Okay! 445 00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:23,248 [breathing heavily] 446 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,753 I don't know what to say. 447 00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:25,834 I can't believe it. 448 00:19:25,917 --> 00:19:27,577 Well, neither can I, but here I am. 449 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,537 Mary fuckin' Poppins. 450 00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:32,995 [Miranda laughs and kisses] Thank you. 451 00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,173 Um... The numbers are on the fridge. 452 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,170 And don't take him out of that chair. 453 00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:39,290 It's the only thing that keeps him quiet. 454 00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:42,955 And don't call boys. 455 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,503 Well, you don't look so bad. 456 00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,333 [chair stops vibrating] 457 00:19:58,417 --> 00:20:00,787 [screaming] 458 00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:05,460 [Carrie] Meanwhile, in a chair across town, 459 00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:09,542 I was enjoying an afternoon of absolutely nothing. 460 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,625 Goodnight, thank you. 461 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:29,332 Hey, do you think Nina Katz 462 00:20:29,417 --> 00:20:31,577 is telling random celebrity hosts 463 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,877 that I am the bad break-up girlfriend? 464 00:20:33,959 --> 00:20:34,959 -[baby crying] -What? 465 00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:36,171 [Carrie] Well, you said she loved to talk. 466 00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:37,790 Do you think she's trashing me to say, 467 00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:39,875 a Gwenyth Paltrow 468 00:20:39,959 --> 00:20:41,209 or an Ian McKellan? 469 00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:42,421 You can't be serious. 470 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,630 Well, don't get me wrong, I don't flatter myself 471 00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:46,709 that a Gwenyth Paltrow or an Ian McKellan 472 00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:48,792 would be interested in my love life but-- 473 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:49,745 [crying] 474 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:50,964 Are you at a zoo? 475 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,421 No. Thanks to you, I'm at Miranda's. 476 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,540 And Brady won't stop screaming 477 00:20:55,625 --> 00:20:57,245 and I don't know what to do. 478 00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:58,423 You're at Miranda's? 479 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,580 I sent her to get my haircut. 480 00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:01,627 That was nice. 481 00:21:01,709 --> 00:21:04,579 Yes, and now I'm being punished. 482 00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:05,917 So, he's not hurt? 483 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,250 -No. -Or wet? 484 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,293 No. 485 00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:10,375 Well, then I don't know what his problem is. 486 00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:12,288 His problem is he's an asshole. 487 00:21:12,375 --> 00:21:13,875 [crying] 488 00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:15,459 Well, maybe you should call Miranda. 489 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,832 I will not. 490 00:21:16,917 --> 00:21:18,537 It took me months to get that appointment. 491 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,205 Someone should benefit. 492 00:21:20,291 --> 00:21:23,461 I'll find some way to keep this kid quiet. Goodbye. 493 00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:25,172 No, no, wait. What about Nina? 494 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,630 Carrie, maybe Charlotte has the time to talk about this kind of stuff. 495 00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:31,579 I have a screaming baby on my hands. 496 00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:33,877 [dial tone] 497 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,829 [crying] 498 00:21:35,917 --> 00:21:38,377 What? What do you need? 499 00:21:42,583 --> 00:21:45,173 [Samantha] Well... That's better. 500 00:21:46,125 --> 00:21:47,205 Is everything okay? 501 00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:48,541 Oh, absolutely. The chair thing 502 00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:50,955 broke, but, you know, shit happens. 503 00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:52,461 The chair broke? 504 00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:53,962 But what did you-- 505 00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:55,671 I mean, did he-- 506 00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:58,040 [vibrating] 507 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:04,923 That better be brand new. 508 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,710 [Carrie] Monday morning, Harry Goldenblatt did his best 509 00:22:07,792 --> 00:22:10,882 to make sure Bunny didn't hop all over Charlotte. 510 00:22:10,959 --> 00:22:14,879 Mrs. MacDougal is willing to offer her son's collection 511 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,250 of mint condition, silver buffalo coins. 512 00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:18,503 Can we get off the coin collection? 513 00:22:18,583 --> 00:22:20,713 She's not gonna settle for a coin collection. 514 00:22:20,792 --> 00:22:23,002 Well, according to the prenup... 515 00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:25,753 This is ridiculous. Trey gave me that apartment. 516 00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:31,827 She gave him her word, till death do them part. 517 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,417 Bunny, if you have something to say to me, just-- 518 00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,790 -Fine. I shall. -I strongly recommend we focus-- 519 00:22:36,875 --> 00:22:39,245 Allen, hush. 520 00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:41,423 You, my dear, took a vow. 521 00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:42,750 And when things didn't go your way 522 00:22:42,834 --> 00:22:44,044 you simply broke that vow. 523 00:22:44,125 --> 00:22:47,495 I come from a generation of women that valued marriage. 524 00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:50,213 We believed in for better or for worse. 525 00:22:50,291 --> 00:22:53,831 Not, for better or until the road gets rocky. 526 00:22:53,917 --> 00:22:57,127 When I think of the heartache 527 00:22:57,208 --> 00:23:01,248 and shame you caused my dear boy... 528 00:23:01,333 --> 00:23:03,213 I'm amazed that you could even come here 529 00:23:03,291 --> 00:23:04,581 and look me in the face. 530 00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:06,377 [Carrie] Charlotte couldn't fight anymore. 531 00:23:06,458 --> 00:23:09,578 It seemed to her she'd been fighting for this marriage forever. 532 00:23:09,667 --> 00:23:11,287 [knocking at door] 533 00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:13,205 Be advised, young lady... 534 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:15,671 I'm more than prepared to go to court. 535 00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:22,328 It's the coin collection. Take it or leave it. 536 00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:23,747 Now, just hold on. 537 00:23:23,834 --> 00:23:26,044 Apparently, our office just received a telegram 538 00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:27,705 from Scotland from Doctor MacDougal. 539 00:23:27,792 --> 00:23:28,712 Shall I read it? 540 00:23:28,792 --> 00:23:30,632 By all means. 541 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:34,825 "Charlotte York was a wonderful wife. Stop. 542 00:23:34,917 --> 00:23:37,287 She did nothing wrong. Stop. 543 00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:39,325 Give her everything she wants. 544 00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:40,747 Stop. 545 00:23:40,834 --> 00:23:45,294 Seriously, mother... Stop." 546 00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:47,205 [Carrie] That's the thing about reviews. 547 00:23:47,291 --> 00:23:50,251 Sometimes, when you least expect it... 548 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:52,173 you get a rave. 549 00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:56,834 Just the apartment. 550 00:23:56,917 --> 00:23:57,917 I'll have papers drawn up 551 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,420 so Mrs. MacDougal can transfer the deed. 552 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,330 [Carrie] Even though things had gotten ugly... 553 00:24:03,417 --> 00:24:05,747 Charlotte didn't want them to end that way. 554 00:24:05,834 --> 00:24:08,464 I'm sorry things didn't work out better. 555 00:24:08,542 --> 00:24:09,792 For all of us. 556 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,830 Allen. 557 00:24:13,917 --> 00:24:16,077 [Carrie] Charlotte realized there was no such thing 558 00:24:16,166 --> 00:24:17,996 as a fairy tale divorce, either. 559 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:20,383 Ding dong, the witch is dead. 560 00:24:22,125 --> 00:24:23,495 [laughs] 561 00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:26,790 [sighs] 562 00:24:26,875 --> 00:24:30,625 [Carrie] And farther uptown, still unable to let it go... 563 00:24:30,709 --> 00:24:32,669 Nina Katz and that face 564 00:24:32,750 --> 00:24:35,040 had driven me to face my worst fear. 565 00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:37,325 So, Steve, I know I was kinda vague on the phone. 566 00:24:37,417 --> 00:24:40,457 It's Miranda, right? She doesn't want me callin' so much. Right? 567 00:24:40,542 --> 00:24:41,582 It's fine, whatever. 568 00:24:41,667 --> 00:24:44,247 No, no, no, it's not about Miranda, it's about... 569 00:24:46,792 --> 00:24:48,462 How does Aidan feel about me? 570 00:24:48,542 --> 00:24:50,042 Aw, geez, no. 571 00:24:50,125 --> 00:24:52,665 I mean, you're not gonna try to get back together with him again, are you? 572 00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:54,210 Um, no, 573 00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:56,211 but that pretty much answers any question I had 574 00:24:56,291 --> 00:24:57,711 about how you feel. 575 00:24:59,959 --> 00:25:00,749 So... 576 00:25:00,834 --> 00:25:02,544 What, does he hate me? 577 00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:05,205 No, but come on, Carrie. I mean, it was pretty bad. 578 00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:07,791 How bad, Steve? 579 00:25:08,625 --> 00:25:09,535 Steve, the ball. 580 00:25:09,625 --> 00:25:10,995 Sorry. 581 00:25:11,083 --> 00:25:12,633 So, how is he now? 582 00:25:12,709 --> 00:25:14,879 Great. He's great. 583 00:25:14,959 --> 00:25:16,169 Good. 584 00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,080 -He's great. -Good. 585 00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:19,576 -Now. -[Carrie sighs] 586 00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:21,503 But back then... 587 00:25:21,583 --> 00:25:24,083 Back then he couldn't get out of bed for like... 588 00:25:25,709 --> 00:25:27,209 What, days? Weeks? 589 00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:29,671 Like a month. I brought him chicken wings. 590 00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:30,750 Oh, Christ... 591 00:25:30,834 --> 00:25:33,084 Look, I don't mean to make you feel bad. 592 00:25:33,166 --> 00:25:36,206 Well, a month? 593 00:25:36,291 --> 00:25:37,631 Yeah, he was devastated. 594 00:25:37,709 --> 00:25:40,709 I mean, he lost his ability to open up and trust women. 595 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:48,210 He lost his ability to open up and trust women? 596 00:25:48,291 --> 00:25:49,541 Did he tell you that? 597 00:25:49,625 --> 00:25:52,415 No, guys don't talk about shit like that. We just ate wings, 598 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:55,290 but the girl, Nina, he was dating, she told me that. 599 00:25:55,375 --> 00:25:57,955 Okay, we're looking for the cute pretzel guys. 600 00:25:58,041 --> 00:25:59,881 How come you never wanted to cruise guys 601 00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,209 when I was available? 602 00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:02,711 This isn't about cruising, it's about clarity. 603 00:26:02,792 --> 00:26:03,922 That Nina Katz face chick 604 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,540 is now hitting a little too close to home. 605 00:26:05,625 --> 00:26:08,705 I wanna find her, and tell her my side of the break-up story. 606 00:26:08,792 --> 00:26:10,832 Why? You know what you and Aidan had. 607 00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:11,957 Yes, I know it, but she doesn't 608 00:26:12,041 --> 00:26:14,541 and she's yip-yapping her version all over town. 609 00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:16,035 It only takes one bad review 610 00:26:16,125 --> 00:26:18,875 to cancel out all the good word of mouth. 611 00:26:18,959 --> 00:26:21,079 What do you think of Marcus? 612 00:26:21,166 --> 00:26:23,876 Nice. I mean relationships are complicated, 613 00:26:23,959 --> 00:26:25,539 you can't reduce them to a face. 614 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,785 -I know that Aidan has feelings. -Okay. 615 00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:31,575 -It's not my-- -Stop. I am done. 616 00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:35,917 I've listened to you talk about Aidan for what, ten blocks, 617 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,880 and two years. 618 00:26:37,959 --> 00:26:39,579 And I've been a wonderful audience. 619 00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:44,377 And I ask you about my Marcus and all I get is "nice"? 620 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:46,423 I'm sorry. 621 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:49,710 I mean, Carrie, how many relationships have I been in 622 00:26:49,792 --> 00:26:50,962 since you've known me? 623 00:26:51,041 --> 00:26:52,501 Real or imaginary? 624 00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:53,923 [giggles] 625 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,040 Come on, your opinion means a lot to me. 626 00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:59,955 You're my Michiko Kakamatza. 627 00:27:00,041 --> 00:27:02,581 So now what, you want me to review your relationship? 628 00:27:02,667 --> 00:27:04,577 Immediately if not sooner. 629 00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:05,537 Okay, well... 630 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,995 I like that he makes you happy. 631 00:27:08,709 --> 00:27:09,749 Oh, my God... 632 00:27:11,125 --> 00:27:12,415 Carrie. 633 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:13,880 [Nina laughs] Oh... Okay, 634 00:27:13,959 --> 00:27:15,919 one more time, you are officially stalking me. 635 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,040 [Stanford giggles] 636 00:27:18,542 --> 00:27:19,332 Hi, I'm Heather. 637 00:27:19,417 --> 00:27:21,957 Heather Graham, I know, I love you. 638 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,131 I'm Stanford Blache. 639 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,998 Oh, sorry, Heather, uh, this is Carrie Bradshaw. 640 00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:25,963 Carrie Bradshaw? 641 00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:26,881 Really? 642 00:27:26,959 --> 00:27:28,419 [sucks in air] Oh... 643 00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:30,083 [Carrie] So... 644 00:27:31,291 --> 00:27:32,461 Okay, I... 645 00:27:32,542 --> 00:27:33,632 Nina, 646 00:27:33,709 --> 00:27:37,829 I need to talk to you for a second, alone, if I can. 647 00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:39,077 Oh, Miss Graham, 648 00:27:39,166 --> 00:27:40,456 may I buy you a pretzel? 649 00:27:40,542 --> 00:27:42,582 -Okay. [laughs] -And get me one. 650 00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:43,957 A man or a pretzel? 651 00:27:44,041 --> 00:27:45,631 Whatever has less carbs. 652 00:27:45,709 --> 00:27:46,629 Right? 653 00:27:46,709 --> 00:27:48,919 -[Stanford laughs] -[Heather laughs] 654 00:27:50,583 --> 00:27:54,083 I get the sense that you have a sort of feeling 655 00:27:54,166 --> 00:27:55,706 about what happened with Aidan. 656 00:27:55,792 --> 00:27:57,882 And I just wanna clear something up. 657 00:27:59,083 --> 00:28:02,833 Break-ups are awful, and they are private. 658 00:28:02,917 --> 00:28:05,997 And they are not necessarily symptomatic 659 00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:09,963 of what two people had together. 660 00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:12,421 I loved Aidan very much. 661 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,960 And I would never ever have done anything 662 00:28:15,041 --> 00:28:16,631 to deliberately hurt him. 663 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:18,665 Okay. 664 00:28:18,750 --> 00:28:20,630 [Carrie] Suddenly, I realized that the critic 665 00:28:20,709 --> 00:28:23,669 I was most afraid of wasn't Nina Katz. 666 00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:25,080 It was me. 667 00:28:25,625 --> 00:28:26,915 So... 668 00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:31,082 Bye. 669 00:28:31,166 --> 00:28:32,246 The truth is... 670 00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:34,833 At any given moment, someone, somewhere 671 00:28:34,917 --> 00:28:36,707 could be making a face about you. 672 00:28:36,792 --> 00:28:38,832 [Carrie] Bye. 673 00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:42,037 But it's the reviews you give yourself that matter. 674 00:28:42,125 --> 00:28:43,785 ...so I get over there with Heather Graham 675 00:28:43,875 --> 00:28:46,125 and I'm like, shit, what do we have to talk about? 676 00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:47,378 -[chuckles] -She's pretty. 677 00:28:47,458 --> 00:28:50,328 I know, but we have nothing to talk about but pretzels. 678 00:28:50,417 --> 00:28:52,037 -So, okay, so I said... -Ooh... 679 00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:54,075 -[giggles] -Sorry. 680 00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:55,416 Come on, come on! 681 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,630 So I said, "Have you ever been to Bavaria? 682 00:28:57,709 --> 00:28:59,999 They make the best pretzels there."