1
00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:10,125
[rooster crows]
2
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,376
What?
3
00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:23,125
[crowing continues]
4
00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,579
In life, there are all sorts
of wake-up calls...
5
00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:34,577
but crowing on East 73rd Street
6
00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:37,037
was one I was not prepared for.
7
00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:40,325
[crowing continues]
8
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,957
It was my own fault, really.
9
00:01:46,041 --> 00:01:48,751
I let my frenzy
for a rent-controlled apartment
near Barney's
10
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:52,504
override the fact that it was
"animal hospital adjacent."
11
00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:56,169
That's the thing
about New York...
12
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:59,130
you never know what's
just around the corner.
13
00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:01,291
[groans]
14
00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:02,995
Or in Samantha's case...
15
00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:04,463
just outside your window.
16
00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:07,382
[loud chattering]
17
00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:11,748
[groans]
18
00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:16,209
[honking]
19
00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:24,375
There they were...
20
00:02:24,458 --> 00:02:26,128
Samantha's friendly neighborhood
21
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,128
pre-op transsexual hookers.
22
00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,038
Half man, half woman,
totally annoying.
23
00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:33,785
Girl, she got herself
a handful with that one.
24
00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:36,381
He was all up in my stuff once.
25
00:02:36,458 --> 00:02:39,578
I told him, "You better
get that thing outta my ass
26
00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:42,377
or I'm gonna shit on it!"
27
00:02:42,458 --> 00:02:43,828
[Carrie laughs]
28
00:02:44,208 --> 00:02:46,458
[Samantha]
"Get that thing out of my ass
or I'm gonna shit on it!"
29
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,462
I mean, is that the dirtiest
thing you've ever heard?
30
00:02:49,542 --> 00:02:51,542
Let's hope so! [laughs]
31
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:54,325
I am paying a fortune
to live in a neighborhood
32
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:57,167
that's trendy by day
and tranny by night.
33
00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,170
"Tranny"?
34
00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,250
Transsexuals. Chicks with dicks.
35
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:02,503
Boobs on top, balls down below.
36
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,383
I don't get the appeal there.
37
00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:06,628
-It's the other white meat.
-Ah.
38
00:03:06,709 --> 00:03:09,669
I understand that
pseudo-straight married men
from New Jersey
39
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:12,170
have to get laid,
but do they have
to do it on my block?
40
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,540
And I thought my
roof chickens were bad.
41
00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,955
Every morning at 4:00 a.m.
they start up.
42
00:03:17,041 --> 00:03:19,001
I mean, it's like they're
putting on a show.
43
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:21,463
The "up my ass" players.
44
00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,463
[everyone laughs]
45
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,825
Too early for tranny talk?
46
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,377
It's so weird
to just be sitting here
47
00:03:31,458 --> 00:03:34,628
eating egg white omelets again
like nothing ever happened.
48
00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:37,079
[Carrie] It was our first
Saturday morning
breakfast together
49
00:03:37,166 --> 00:03:39,286
since Charlotte
had flown the co-op
50
00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:41,955
and left Trey, her husband
of just three months.
51
00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:44,001
I was married, and now what?
52
00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:46,213
I'm single again?
53
00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:48,461
Sweetie, you're not single,
you're just separated.
54
00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:51,542
[Charlotte] That's right.
I'm not single.
55
00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:53,455
I'll never be single again.
56
00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:55,285
I'll be divorced. [sighs]
57
00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:57,959
The only thing worse
than being 34 and single
58
00:03:58,041 --> 00:04:00,081
is being 34 and divorced.
59
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,626
Oh, thanks.
60
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,379
I can think of
something worse...
61
00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:06,328
being 34 and trapped
in a marriage that doesn't work.
62
00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:07,997
Did I try hard enough?
63
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,543
"Hard" being the operative word.
64
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,245
Sweetie, Trey has
an impotence problem--
65
00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,583
Ah!
66
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:15,667
I am so sick
of talking about Trey.
67
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:18,710
I think and talk
about Trey all the time.
68
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,082
Just change the subject, please.
69
00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:23,456
Just talk about
the "up my ass" stuff.
70
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:24,792
[everyone laughs]
71
00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:27,001
Okay, here's the plan.
72
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,543
Sunday night we all come over,
73
00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:31,205
have a little "unpacking party,"
and no Trey talk.
74
00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:33,381
Absolutely.
I'll bring the cocktails.
75
00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:34,628
And I'll bring the food.
76
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,745
How's everyone feel
about roof chicken?
77
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,634
[both] Mm!
78
00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:40,329
[dog barks]
79
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:42,919
Can I help you?
80
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,500
Um, yeah, hi.
81
00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:45,923
I live around the corner,
82
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,080
and my window
83
00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:49,706
uh, looks over the roof
with the chickens.
84
00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:51,672
And the crowing is...
85
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,710
Roosters.
86
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,752
Excuse me?
87
00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:56,384
They are roosters.
Roosters crow.
88
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,790
Oh, right.
Yes, well, they do,
89
00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:00,665
and very loudly.
90
00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:01,920
I'm so sorry.
91
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,170
We just got them,
92
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,670
rescued from a cock fight
in the Bronx.
93
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:06,790
Oh, my God.
94
00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:08,165
I'll have them moved
to the basement.
95
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,880
Oh, no, no, no.
You don't have to do that.
96
00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:13,379
They had all that fight trauma.
They need fresh air.
97
00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,078
I don't want them
to be miserable.
98
00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:19,206
Don't worry,
they have a very lovely life.
99
00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:22,042
No, that's, that's all right.
I'll get over it.
100
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,883
Thank you for being so nice.
101
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:27,081
Oh, just...
102
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,133
gonna take one of these
for my friend.
103
00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:30,748
She has a cat.
104
00:05:37,583 --> 00:05:39,383
Hey, fatty, you hungry?
105
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:43,423
Yeah?
I'm hungry, too.
106
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:52,750
Oh!
107
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:01,997
[dialing]
108
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,423
[telephone rings]
109
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,170
[woman] Shanghai Garden.
May I help you?
110
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,330
Hi. Yeah, I'd like
to order some take-out?
111
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:08,497
[woman]
Address, please.
112
00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:11,003
331 West 78th Street,
113
00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:13,253
-apartment 4-F.
-[woman] Okay.
114
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:15,833
I'd like to order some chicken
with broccoli in a brown--
115
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,877
[woman]
Brown sauce with brown rice,
cold noodles.
116
00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:20,959
I know.
117
00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,921
Every night the same.
118
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,290
-Right.
-[woman giggles]
119
00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:29,035
The Chinese take-out lady
thinks I'm pathetic.
120
00:06:29,125 --> 00:06:32,035
She said, "Every night,
every night the same thing."
121
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,325
That's a tad bitchy
for a take-out lady.
122
00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:35,957
Do you think I'm in a rut?
123
00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:38,421
-A food rut?
-I'm sitting home with my cat,
124
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,630
ordering the same thing
almost every night.
125
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:42,249
The only thing that could
make it sadder
126
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:45,383
is if I had a "Cathy" comic
taped to my refrigerator door.
127
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:48,125
Never say "Cathy comic"
to me again.
128
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:51,128
She giggled at me,
the take-out lady.
129
00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:52,877
Then order from someplace else.
130
00:06:52,959 --> 00:06:55,459
There's, like,
600 Chinese places
on your block.
131
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:58,132
This place is my favorite.
I like their cold noodles.
132
00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:00,078
And it's easier than
figuring out where else to go.
133
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:02,996
Fine, then bear
the take-out food shame.
134
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,290
There they were,
our ex-boyfriends.
135
00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:09,825
[muttering indistinctly]
136
00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,883
What are they doing together?
What, are they friends now?
137
00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:15,629
Apparently. This is bad.
138
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,250
What do you think
they're talking about?
139
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:20,383
Their dogs?
140
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:21,918
Yeah, here's their
dog conversation,
141
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,580
"How's your dog?"
"Good. How's yours?"
142
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:26,287
"Good.
Was that those two bitches
who ruined our lives?"
143
00:07:26,375 --> 00:07:27,875
No, they didn't see us.
144
00:07:32,959 --> 00:07:33,959
Oh, God.
145
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,251
Okay, we have a choice.
146
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,170
We can either run the other away
147
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,170
or we can move
into this building.
148
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,080
[chattering]
149
00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:43,126
Come on, we can't run.
150
00:07:43,208 --> 00:07:44,918
These shoe straps will break.
151
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000
All right.
152
00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:48,131
How do I look?
153
00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:49,328
Good.
154
00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:50,459
Great!
155
00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:52,042
You look great too.
156
00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:55,669
Thank God I didn't wear
my drawstring pants.
157
00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:57,917
How ya doin', Scout?
158
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,880
-[Miranda] Okay.
-[Carrie] Okay.
159
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:07,706
[dog barks]
160
00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:10,879
[Steve] Hey, hey!
Look who it is!
161
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,375
[Carrie] That's another thing
about New York...
162
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,208
you never know who
is just around the corner.
163
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:19,791
See, this is what
I like about New York.
164
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,125
The street traffic.
165
00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,248
Hey! Hi.
166
00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:26,285
Well, look at you.
167
00:08:27,792 --> 00:08:28,922
Hello.
168
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,962
Look who it is, Pete.
169
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:33,131
-[dog whines]
-Hey, Pete!
170
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,538
Hello!
171
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,786
Oh, my God!
Look how big he got!
172
00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:40,625
He starts college next year.
173
00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,497
You must be very proud.
174
00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:45,383
[Carrie] Two beers at a time?
175
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,828
What? Miranda and I give
you guys a drinking problem?
176
00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:49,287
[both laugh]
177
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,455
They're not just for us, um...
178
00:08:52,583 --> 00:08:55,923
I'll have nightmares about
that ladies' room for weeks.
179
00:08:56,834 --> 00:09:00,084
Carrie, Miranda,
this is Jessica, and Susan.
180
00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:01,246
[both] Hello.
181
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,875
Honey, do you still wanna
see the movie or just crash?
182
00:09:04,959 --> 00:09:06,499
[Steve] I don't care.
183
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,377
-Well, we have to go.
-Yeah, we gotta go.
184
00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:14,128
-Yeah.
-[Pete barks]
185
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:15,748
It was good to see you, Aidan.
186
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:18,333
Bye.
187
00:09:18,417 --> 00:09:19,417
-Bye.
-Bye.
188
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,250
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
189
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,750
-I ran a little that way.
-Goin' this way?
190
00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:26,424
[both laugh]
191
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,960
[Carrie] That night,
over at Charlotte's,
192
00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:33,381
some light unpacking
and some heavy realizations.
193
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:36,128
Well, they're over us.
194
00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:38,708
It's just so hilarious.
195
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:41,212
I'm hemorrhaging inside
it's so funny.
196
00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:44,751
We thought they were
sitting there pining away,
197
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,674
and they have
new girlfriends already.
198
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:47,790
Were they cute?
199
00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:49,665
The point is not
if they were cute,
200
00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:52,714
the point is they were there.
201
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,292
-[Miranda] They were cute.
-Very cute.
202
00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:57,745
How can they have
new relationships already?
203
00:09:57,834 --> 00:10:00,794
I'm still in the "I just broke
up with someone" phase.
204
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,125
It's infuriating.
205
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:04,998
Women sit around obsessing
about what went wrong
206
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,083
over and over,
207
00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:07,536
and men just say, "all righty,"
208
00:10:07,625 --> 00:10:08,705
and they move on.
209
00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:11,002
I take offense
at that generalization.
210
00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:13,583
Not all women sit around
and obsess about men.
211
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:16,707
As soon as my relationships
are over, I move on.
212
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,077
Relationships?
213
00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:19,876
You know, dates.
214
00:10:19,959 --> 00:10:23,919
Well, I definitely do try
to figure out what went wrong,
215
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,790
but I don't think that I obsess.
216
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:29,375
Oh, my God, you're Miss Obsess.
217
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:30,328
Big?
218
00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:33,207
Well, yeah, okay, yes, Big.
219
00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:35,631
Big was tricky,
I still don't know
what happened there.
220
00:10:35,709 --> 00:10:36,999
Honey, you look back so much,
221
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,923
you should have a relationship
rear view mirror.
222
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,750
"Relationships may appear closer
than they actually are."
223
00:10:41,834 --> 00:10:44,714
Well, I didn't obsess
about Aidan.
224
00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:46,882
Aidan was clear.
I hurt him, he moved on.
225
00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:49,669
It's so much easier for men
to move on.
226
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,880
Is it?
227
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:52,129
[scoffs] Please!
228
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:54,673
The ratio of women to men
in this city is huge.
229
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,290
All they have to do
is sit outside, have a beer,
230
00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,125
and wait for the Jessicas
and Susans to come to them.
231
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:04,633
Well, maybe we only
obsess over relationships
that feel unfinished.
232
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:07,415
Well, I can guarantee that Trey
233
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,170
isn't sitting around
with his friends
234
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:10,830
obsessing about what went wrong.
235
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:13,827
That's because men never think
that anything is their fault.
236
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,833
I wish there were no men.
237
00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:19,167
Oh, God, call someone.
She's gone insane.
238
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,580
If there were no men,
then we wouldn't feel hurt,
239
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,333
and we wouldn't be disappointed,
240
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,827
and we wouldn't be
spending our entire night
241
00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:29,707
sitting here
obsessing about them.
242
00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:32,042
I'm so over men.
243
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:35,209
What?
244
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,711
I am.
245
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,712
[Carrie] Later that night,
I got to thinking about men,
246
00:11:38,792 --> 00:11:40,832
and women, and relationships.
247
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,037
Or more to the point,
248
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:44,205
how women feel men
disappoint them
249
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,501
in relationships.
250
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:46,963
Then a radical,
251
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:50,041
almost earth-shattering thought
popped into my head...
252
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:53,165
What if everything
isn't the man's fault?
253
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:56,170
After a certain age,
and a certain number
of relationships,
254
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,580
if it still isn't working,
255
00:11:57,667 --> 00:12:00,417
and the exes seem
to be moving on and we don't...
256
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,290
perhaps the problem
isn't the last boyfriend,
257
00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:06,535
or the one before him,
or even the one before him...
258
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,915
Could it be
that the problem isn't them,
259
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,290
but horror of horrors...
260
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:13,955
Is it us?
261
00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:16,581
[loud chattering]
262
00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,997
And downtown,
the "up my ass" players
263
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:21,673
were in the middle
of their late-night repertory...
264
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,460
"Much Ado About Up My Ass"
265
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,832
and "Long Day's Journey
Up My Ass".
266
00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:29,537
[loud chattering]
267
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:32,415
Samantha decided
if she was ever gonna get
a good night's sleep again,
268
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,960
she'd have to test
just how effective
a PR professional she was.
269
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,668
Ladies, hello.
270
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,380
Motherfucker!
271
00:12:42,125 --> 00:12:45,665
I live right up there,
the loft within earshot.
272
00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:48,540
Now, as much as I respect
a woman's right
273
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:49,915
for a little somethin'-somethin'
274
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,630
with certain
New Jersey gentlemen,
275
00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:53,789
I have a request.
276
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:57,043
I have a very
early business meeting.
277
00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:01,415
And I think we all know
there are certain dark circles
278
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,420
that even the cleverest
makeup tricks can't cover.
279
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,460
-Mm-hmm.
-Am I right?
280
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,207
Sorry to wake you, baby.
281
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:09,960
We'll take it down here a bit.
282
00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:11,711
I appreciate it.
283
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,706
By the way, I'm Samantha.
284
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,378
Destiny.
285
00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:18,459
-Chyna.
-Jo.
286
00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:20,422
No "E".
She got the "E" cut off.
287
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,460
-[laughing]
-I told you I was gonna get
you back!
288
00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:26,212
Those heels are fierce,
Miss Girl!
289
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:27,960
Aha!
290
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,501
Don't I know it!
291
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:30,753
-[snaps fingers]
-[women laugh]
292
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:31,884
[Carrie] Samantha always knew
293
00:13:31,959 --> 00:13:33,169
how to get her way with men...
294
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,080
even if they were half women.
295
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:38,212
[telephone rings]
296
00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:44,877
What?
297
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:46,919
[man] Rough night?
298
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:48,963
Who is this?
299
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,541
It's me.
300
00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:53,422
Oh.
301
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:57,497
I didn't recognize your voice,
you sounded different.
302
00:13:57,583 --> 00:13:58,833
Did I wake you?
303
00:13:58,917 --> 00:14:00,167
It's only 11:30.
304
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:03,830
No, I was up late working,
305
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:05,077
and there are these...
306
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,673
goddamn chickens that crow
on the roof next-door.
307
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,080
Roosters.
308
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,747
Roosters crow.
309
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,504
Yes, a "fun on the farm" fact
310
00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:15,503
everyone seems
to be aware of but me.
311
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:17,923
So tell me, is red a mistake?
312
00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:20,378
In what way?
313
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,253
I'm repainting my bedroom.
314
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:24,833
A red bedroom?
315
00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:26,327
[Big] Just one wall.
316
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:28,287
But I think...
317
00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:30,383
it's too red.
318
00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,291
It's like sleeping
in communist China.
319
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:38,915
She left.
320
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:41,463
We ended it.
321
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:44,498
I heard.
322
00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:46,291
You did?
323
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,455
How?
324
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,955
I think it was on the news.
325
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,418
[sighs]
326
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,462
Could we have lunch sometime?
327
00:14:57,917 --> 00:15:00,127
Well, I really need to talk
to you.
328
00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:02,582
Please?
329
00:15:02,792 --> 00:15:03,832
Where?
330
00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:06,747
The Boathouse Restaurant
in Central Park.
331
00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:08,754
How about Saturday at 2:00?
332
00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,170
Carrie?
333
00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:13,377
I'm nodding.
334
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:14,748
So I'll see you at 2:00, then.
335
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:16,464
Bye.
336
00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:24,245
Later that day, I met Miranda
at my favorite thrift store
337
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,133
to dig for buried treasure.
338
00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:28,748
Hey, do you think
I can get away with
339
00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:30,634
a "Hang in there, baby"
halter top?
340
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,129
I don't think anybody
can get away with
341
00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:33,788
a "Hang in there, baby"
halter top.
342
00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:35,245
[laughs]
343
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:38,670
Do you want to go
to the Hopper exhibit
Saturday afternoon?
344
00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:41,543
Oh, I can't. I have to work.
345
00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:49,832
I lied. I don't have to work.
346
00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:53,205
I'm meeting Big for lunch,
and I didn't think
you'd approve.
347
00:15:53,291 --> 00:15:54,881
Wait, you're meeting Big?
348
00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:55,959
He called.
349
00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:56,921
He sounded upset
350
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,500
and he said he needed to talk.
351
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,497
Since when does Big talk?
352
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,210
What does that mean?
353
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:09,288
He's upset about
Natasha leaving--
354
00:16:09,375 --> 00:16:10,705
You know-- Okay, you know what?
355
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:12,752
I'm not holding your hand
through this again.
356
00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:15,254
I'm not asking you
to hold my anything.
357
00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,543
We're just having lunch.
358
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,625
[laughs] It's a huge mistake.
359
00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:21,789
It is not a huge mistake.
It's lunch.
360
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:22,745
Wake up, Carrie!
361
00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:23,754
How many more times
362
00:16:23,834 --> 00:16:25,334
are you gonna go through this?
363
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:26,627
He is bad for you!
364
00:16:26,709 --> 00:16:28,289
Jesus, every time
you get near him,
365
00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:31,705
you turn into this pathetic,
needy, insecure victim.
366
00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:33,292
And the thing that
pisses me off the most
367
00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:35,625
is that you're more than willing
to go right back for more.
368
00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:37,209
I am not going back for more!
369
00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,881
And I can't even believe--
370
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,997
I can't believe you would
say that to me.
371
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,293
[Miranda] If you start up
with Big again--
372
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,665
I am not starting up
with Big again!
373
00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:48,000
Well, if you do, I don't want
to know anything about it.
374
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:50,633
I mean it, Carrie.
No calls. No crying.
375
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:51,789
Oh, what are you gonna do,
Miranda?
376
00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:52,705
You gonna cut me out
of your life
377
00:16:52,792 --> 00:16:53,832
like you did to Steve?
378
00:16:53,917 --> 00:16:54,997
What?
379
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:56,003
The first sign
380
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,253
of any little weakness or flaw
381
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,213
and you just write people off!
382
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:03,423
My God, Miranda,
you are so judgmental!
383
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,330
[gasps]
384
00:17:04,417 --> 00:17:05,377
[Carrie] Oh, what, you can say
385
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,128
that I'm pathetic and needy
386
00:17:07,208 --> 00:17:09,288
and I can't say anything to you?
387
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:12,125
You know, everybody's not
as tough as you, Miranda.
388
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,075
Peop--
389
00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:16,421
some of us make mistakes.
390
00:17:19,792 --> 00:17:22,752
Perfect, that's just perfect,
walk away!
391
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:25,378
It's all my fault.
392
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:28,828
And right there, next to
the two for five-dollar bin,
393
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,787
Miranda and I
had our first big fight.
394
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,955
[answering machine]
You have no messages.
395
00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:44,002
I thought by the time I got home
396
00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:46,963
Miranda would have left
an apology on my machine.
397
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,420
I was gonna call her,
398
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,710
but I wasn't quite sure
what to say.
399
00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:55,792
Or whose fault it really was.
400
00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:00,879
And at the exact same moment
across town,
401
00:18:00,959 --> 00:18:05,169
Miranda was preparing
to make the call
she'd been dreading all day.
402
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,958
[woman] Shanghai Garden.
May I help you?
403
00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,251
Hi, yes, I'd like to order
some take-out.
404
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,253
Okay. Address, please.
405
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:18,333
331 West 78th Street,
apartment 4-F.
406
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,287
I'd like some--
407
00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,375
[woman] Chicken broccoli,
408
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,458
brown sauce,
409
00:18:21,542 --> 00:18:23,422
brown rice, and cold noodles.
410
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,710
Right? [giggles]
411
00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:27,502
You know what?
I don't need this. Never mind.
412
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,753
[woman] Okay. Bye-bye...
413
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:34,134
[Carrie] After she hung up,
Miranda couldn't get
the giggle out of her head.
414
00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:36,168
She decided to walk
the two blocks
415
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:38,630
to confront the woman
with the judgmental giggle
416
00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:40,879
who thought she was
so much better than her.
417
00:18:40,959 --> 00:18:42,289
-[telephone rings]
-Hi.
418
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,377
Shanghai Garden.
May I help you?
419
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,794
Okay. Yes.
Address, please?
420
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:54,205
224 West 70--
421
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:58,037
Oh, sorry, 73!
422
00:18:58,125 --> 00:18:59,705
[giggles]
423
00:19:01,709 --> 00:19:04,579
[Carrie] Miranda realized the
giggle wasn't about her at all,
424
00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:06,377
it wasn't about anything.
425
00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:09,881
[woman giggles]
426
00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:15,285
It really wasn't the noodles
that kept her coming back
427
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:17,125
to this particular restaurant.
428
00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,788
It was the fact
that this had been their place,
429
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:21,375
and it was filled
with happy memories.
430
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:26,457
Hey!
431
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:29,172
Twice in one week.
Am I lucky or what?
432
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:31,625
I thought I got custody
of this place.
433
00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:33,919
I like their hot and sour soup.
434
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,958
-You here by yourself?
-Mm-hmm.
435
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:37,961
Me, too.
436
00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:39,251
Sit down.
437
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:42,003
I got this whole bowl
of crunchies here
438
00:19:42,083 --> 00:19:43,923
that I'll never get through.
439
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:47,630
So how are you?
440
00:19:47,959 --> 00:19:49,879
Oh, not good.
441
00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:51,705
Carrie and I had a huge fight.
442
00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,832
Yeah?
About what?
443
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:55,497
Me, her,
444
00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:57,383
you, Big,
445
00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,384
me.
446
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:00,788
Mm.
447
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,213
My judgmental stuff,
448
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,535
how bad was it?
449
00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:08,999
It wasn't good.
450
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,923
Steve, I didn't throw you away,
did I?
451
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,460
No.
452
00:20:13,709 --> 00:20:15,039
[Miranda] She said I did.
453
00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:18,627
Miranda, only you and I
can ever really know
454
00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:20,459
what happened between you and I.
455
00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:23,127
It's nobody else's business.
456
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:27,750
But she said that, huh?
457
00:20:28,041 --> 00:20:29,461
Ouch! [laughs]
458
00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:31,035
Must have been pretty mad.
459
00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:34,705
Well, I didn't exactly say
nice things to her, either.
460
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,575
I just don't want her
to get hurt again, you know?
461
00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:40,125
So you yelled at her?
462
00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:42,633
Yeah.
463
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,875
[laughs] Sounds about par.
464
00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:48,955
I'm guessing your
new girlfriend doesn't yell.
465
00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:50,291
Nope.
466
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,040
[Miranda] How's that going?
467
00:20:54,709 --> 00:20:56,289
-It's okay.
-You like to order?
468
00:20:56,542 --> 00:21:00,002
Oh, yes, I'd like
the chicken with broccoli
in brown--
469
00:21:01,417 --> 00:21:03,377
You know what?
Let me see the menu.
470
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,459
I should try something new.
471
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:08,502
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
472
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:09,787
Live a little.
473
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:13,504
-Wow, there's so much.
-Mm. Mm.
474
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:17,379
[loud chattering outside]
475
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,630
-Baby, you're so fucking hot.
-Oh, no.
476
00:21:20,834 --> 00:21:21,674
I can't believe it!
477
00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:23,000
They go away for one night
478
00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:24,753
and then they're back
three nights in a row.
479
00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:27,174
Forget them, baby.
Look at me.
480
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:29,833
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
481
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,210
I'm here.
482
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,881
[both moan]
483
00:21:35,375 --> 00:21:38,625
Where are those cops?
I called them
a half an hour ago.
484
00:21:38,709 --> 00:21:40,629
Baby, baby, look at me.
485
00:21:40,709 --> 00:21:42,169
Let's bring it on home.
486
00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:45,542
Oh, I can't!
487
00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:48,875
-Baby, I'm close!
-Yeah, well, I'm not!
488
00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:50,579
[groans]
489
00:21:50,667 --> 00:21:52,627
[Carrie] The idea that she'd
miss a night's sleep
490
00:21:52,709 --> 00:21:53,879
pissed Samantha off.
491
00:21:53,959 --> 00:21:55,959
The idea that
she'd miss an orgasm
492
00:21:56,041 --> 00:21:57,671
was more than she could bear.
493
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,000
[Chyna] I can't help ya...
494
00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:02,503
Shut up, you bitches!
I called the cops!
495
00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,083
Suck my cock!
496
00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:07,543
Yeah, keep talking
and I'll come down there
and cut it off for ya!
497
00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:09,825
I'd like to see you try,
motherfucker!
498
00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:11,997
I don't know who you think you
are with those cheap
pale ass shoes.
499
00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:13,753
They weren't that fierce,
no-way!
500
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:17,084
[yelling continues]
501
00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,793
Baby, you're not gonna pull
a Lorena Bobbitt, are you?
502
00:22:19,875 --> 00:22:21,705
$7,000 a month
and I have to listen
503
00:22:21,792 --> 00:22:24,462
to the trilogy
of fucking trannies out there?
504
00:22:24,959 --> 00:22:26,749
I don't fucking think so!
505
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,540
I am a tax paying citizen
506
00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,665
and a member of
the Young Women's
Business Association.
507
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:33,500
I don't have to
put up with this shit!
508
00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:35,333
Baby, forget them
and come back to bed.
509
00:22:35,417 --> 00:22:37,417
[Carrie] But there was nothing
anyone could do to stop her.
510
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,670
Samantha was a woman obsessed.
511
00:22:39,750 --> 00:22:41,880
She had a date with Destiny...
512
00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:44,209
Chyna, and Jo, no "E".
513
00:22:44,291 --> 00:22:46,081
Take this, ladies!
514
00:22:46,166 --> 00:22:48,326
[women scream]
515
00:22:48,417 --> 00:22:52,457
I'm gonna come up there
and kick your ass, bitch!
516
00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:54,956
[laughs]
517
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,745
Get off my hair now! Shit!
518
00:22:57,834 --> 00:22:59,584
-[women laugh]
-[siren blares]
519
00:22:59,667 --> 00:23:02,377
[cop] Come on, girls.
Let's move it along.
Break it up.
520
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,668
Let's move it along, girls.
521
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:04,580
[Chyna] We are moving.
522
00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:05,877
You heard the man!
523
00:23:05,959 --> 00:23:08,129
Move it along!
524
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,330
Hey!
525
00:23:11,417 --> 00:23:13,287
-Where are you going?
-Home.
526
00:23:13,834 --> 00:23:15,504
Baby, you freak me out.
527
00:23:15,583 --> 00:23:17,133
Oh, oh.
528
00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:20,578
[Carrie] And uptown, Charlotte
was a bit freaked out as well.
529
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:22,877
Unable to sleep,
and unable to unpack,
530
00:23:22,959 --> 00:23:24,959
she was spending time
with the only man
531
00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:26,711
she could bring herself
to tolerate...
532
00:23:26,792 --> 00:23:27,712
the Dalai Lama.
533
00:23:27,792 --> 00:23:29,252
[knock at door]
534
00:23:29,583 --> 00:23:31,423
[Trey] Charlotte, it's me.
535
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:32,830
Trey?
536
00:23:36,542 --> 00:23:38,672
What are you doing here?
It's 4:00 a.m.
537
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,130
Yeah, I know, I...
538
00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:41,628
I saw your light on
from the street,
539
00:23:41,709 --> 00:23:43,249
I figured you'd still be up.
540
00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:44,583
What do you want?
541
00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:47,996
Ever since you left, I can't
stop thinking about you.
542
00:23:51,542 --> 00:23:53,332
Honey, we're separated.
543
00:23:53,625 --> 00:23:54,625
I know.
544
00:23:56,375 --> 00:23:58,575
[Carrie] It seems once Charlotte
swore off men,
545
00:23:58,667 --> 00:24:00,707
this man couldn't
get enough of her.
546
00:24:01,291 --> 00:24:02,961
[moans]
547
00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:09,325
He wasn't a rooster,
and it wasn't the Bronx,
548
00:24:09,417 --> 00:24:11,417
but from somewhere
deep inside...
549
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,420
Trey's cock began to crow.
550
00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:15,170
[Charlotte squeals]
551
00:24:17,917 --> 00:24:20,997
And across town,
I was still wide awake.
552
00:24:21,083 --> 00:24:24,173
I couldn't get my fight
with Miranda out of my head.
553
00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:27,380
Turns out, I was a woman
who was not only capable
554
00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:29,788
of obsessing about
my relationships with men,
555
00:24:29,875 --> 00:24:31,915
I was a woman who was capable
556
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,330
of obsessing about
my relationships with women.
557
00:24:34,417 --> 00:24:35,917
-[rooster crows]
-No.
558
00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:39,208
[crowing continues]
559
00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:47,331
[telephone rings]
560
00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:49,207
[woman] This is
the East Side Animal Shelter.
561
00:24:49,291 --> 00:24:50,541
Please leave a message.
562
00:24:50,875 --> 00:24:53,415
Hi, this is your neighbor who
complained about the chickens.
563
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:56,245
I'm leaving a message
'cause I can't take it anymore.
564
00:24:56,333 --> 00:24:59,133
Move 'em in. Thanks.
565
00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:01,208
I figured if they had
a very lovely life,
566
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,081
I was entitled
to the same thing.
567
00:25:03,166 --> 00:25:04,916
[crowing continues]
568
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,580
Ugh!
569
00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:09,037
[clicks tongue] Well...
570
00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:12,130
All righty.
571
00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:15,423
I knew that was in me somewhere.
572
00:25:16,041 --> 00:25:17,081
You did?
573
00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:20,081
Yeah.
574
00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:22,376
I just hadn't
felt it since before--
575
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:26,710
Why'd you stop yourself?
Before what?
576
00:25:27,917 --> 00:25:29,747
Since before we got engaged.
577
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:32,290
Oh.
578
00:25:33,458 --> 00:25:35,828
Yeah, "Oh."
579
00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:40,293
Do you think our whole problem
had to do with the fact that--
580
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:43,875
What?
581
00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:46,455
Say it.
582
00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:49,791
You didn't really
want to marry me.
583
00:25:49,875 --> 00:25:53,125
No. No.
584
00:25:53,792 --> 00:25:55,542
I think it may have had
something to do with the fact
585
00:25:55,625 --> 00:25:58,665
that I maybe didn't want
to get married to anybody.
586
00:25:58,750 --> 00:26:00,130
Then, why did you?
587
00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:03,325
I guess I thought it was time.
588
00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:05,327
I'm of a certain age,
589
00:26:06,125 --> 00:26:07,955
people expect you
to get married.
590
00:26:08,625 --> 00:26:10,125
Yes, well...
591
00:26:10,625 --> 00:26:12,245
that sounds familiar.
592
00:26:13,542 --> 00:26:14,922
And one other thing.
593
00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:16,628
What?
594
00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:20,210
I married you because
I knew I'd never find anyone
595
00:26:20,291 --> 00:26:22,461
as wonderful as you to marry.
596
00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,625
[snores]
597
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:29,830
[banging]
598
00:26:30,834 --> 00:26:33,174
-Hmm?
-[banging]
599
00:26:36,834 --> 00:26:38,174
Hmm?
600
00:26:39,834 --> 00:26:41,174
[banging]
601
00:26:44,542 --> 00:26:47,462
Oh!
602
00:26:48,959 --> 00:26:50,209
[banging continues]
603
00:26:55,166 --> 00:26:58,126
[Carrie] He may have gone away
a pre-op transsexual,
604
00:26:58,208 --> 00:27:00,288
but he came back loaded
with eggs.
605
00:27:00,375 --> 00:27:01,665
-[egg smashes]
-[Samantha groans]
606
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:05,250
Now who's laughin', bitch?
607
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:08,333
[Carrie] Samantha realized this
was one relationship with a man
608
00:27:08,417 --> 00:27:10,667
she wouldn't be able
to just walk away from.
609
00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:13,540
Because this man...
was half woman.
610
00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:19,035
Oh, good, you're there.
611
00:27:19,458 --> 00:27:21,208
I was just gonna call you.
612
00:27:21,709 --> 00:27:23,379
Do you really think
I'm pathetic?
613
00:27:23,458 --> 00:27:25,128
No, I'm so sorry.
614
00:27:25,208 --> 00:27:27,378
I don't think
you're pathetic at all.
615
00:27:27,917 --> 00:27:30,077
I'm outside the restaurant
hiding in some bushes.
616
00:27:30,166 --> 00:27:32,076
Do you still not think
I'm pathetic?
617
00:27:33,583 --> 00:27:35,633
Look, I know you think
it's a huge mistake,
618
00:27:35,709 --> 00:27:39,629
it's just, it's just something
I feel I need to do
to move on or something.
619
00:27:39,709 --> 00:27:41,499
[Miranda] You know what?
Don't listen to me.
620
00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:43,753
I have no idea what's right
for you and Big.
621
00:27:43,834 --> 00:27:47,544
Okay. But if I'm totally wrong
and it is a huge mistake,
622
00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,165
I need to know
you'll be there for me.
623
00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:50,920
I'm there.
624
00:27:51,291 --> 00:27:54,631
Okay, I'm going in.
Any last-minute advice?
625
00:27:54,709 --> 00:27:56,419
Yes, don't let him kiss you.
626
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:59,040
That seems to be
where you get into trouble.
627
00:28:00,417 --> 00:28:01,377
Carrie?
628
00:28:01,458 --> 00:28:02,628
I'm nodding.
629
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:08,790
[light piano music]
630
00:28:20,250 --> 00:28:24,210
Hello, you.
631
00:28:25,375 --> 00:28:26,455
[sighs]
632
00:28:27,083 --> 00:28:29,883
[sighs deeply]
It's good to see you.
633
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,040
-[screams]
-[Big] Oh!
634
00:28:37,125 --> 00:28:38,785
[splashes]
635
00:28:40,125 --> 00:28:42,825
[yelling]
636
00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:45,246
[both laugh]
637
00:28:45,625 --> 00:28:46,955
Are you okay?
638
00:28:47,667 --> 00:28:49,667
[both laugh]
639
00:28:50,041 --> 00:28:52,961
My hair was in the duck pond!
640
00:28:53,291 --> 00:28:55,831
-My Christian Dior purse!
-I'll get it!
641
00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:01,540
Oh, my God!
642
00:29:01,625 --> 00:29:03,575
[screams] What is that?
643
00:29:04,041 --> 00:29:06,461
[hair dryer blowing]
644
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:12,793
[Big] How was your shower?
645
00:29:12,875 --> 00:29:15,325
I no longer smell of pond.
646
00:29:15,834 --> 00:29:17,294
[both laugh]
647
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,830
Exactly how many terry cloth
robes do you have?
648
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:24,790
Three or four.
649
00:29:24,875 --> 00:29:26,665
Oh, three or four.
650
00:29:29,333 --> 00:29:32,043
I swore I would never be
in this room with you again.
651
00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:35,665
You said to take you
to the nearest shower.
652
00:29:39,959 --> 00:29:42,539
That is one red wall.
653
00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:44,174
Yep.
654
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:45,670
It's red.
655
00:29:48,834 --> 00:29:52,674
Hey, I gotta ask you a question.
656
00:29:55,917 --> 00:29:58,377
[sighs] Was it all my fault?
657
00:29:59,291 --> 00:30:00,541
No.
658
00:30:01,792 --> 00:30:03,212
It wasn't all your fault.
659
00:30:03,542 --> 00:30:05,792
Man, we really screwed that up.
660
00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:07,415
What were we thinking?
661
00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:11,167
I have no idea.
662
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:13,500
Fuck.
663
00:30:14,417 --> 00:30:16,497
I was counting on you
for answers.
664
00:30:22,333 --> 00:30:24,003
How you doin', kid?
665
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:25,833
Pretty good. How you doing?
666
00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:27,081
Good.
667
00:30:27,166 --> 00:30:28,206
Aside from the fact
668
00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:30,081
I feel like
I've been through a war.
669
00:30:31,709 --> 00:30:33,829
Really, we're like war buddies.
670
00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:36,917
War buddies
in Calvin Klein robes.
671
00:30:37,917 --> 00:30:39,127
[laughs]
672
00:30:41,709 --> 00:30:43,919
I hate to admit this, but...
673
00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:46,920
I kinda like living alone again.
674
00:30:49,375 --> 00:30:52,705
[laughs] Why doesn't that
surprise me?
675
00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:02,375
I should go.
676
00:31:03,542 --> 00:31:05,792
Don't you want to stay awhile?
677
00:31:05,875 --> 00:31:07,825
I can't.
678
00:31:07,917 --> 00:31:09,207
Why?
679
00:31:12,750 --> 00:31:14,750
Because sweet friend...
680
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:19,291
you and I are like
that red wall.
681
00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:21,495
It's a good idea in theory,
682
00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:25,253
but somehow,
it doesn't quite work.
683
00:31:30,208 --> 00:31:34,248
And just like that I realized
Big and I weren't "us" anymore.
684
00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:37,383
We had become something else.
685
00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:40,128
What it was... I had no idea.
686
00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,917
[groans]
687
00:31:58,208 --> 00:31:59,998
[answering machine]
You have one new message.
688
00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:00,923
[beeps]
689
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,130
[Miranda] Hey, it's me.
690
00:32:02,208 --> 00:32:03,918
I'm just wondering
how it all went.
691
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,670
Call me when you get home.
692
00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:20,920
[Carrie] I had no idea
where the chickens had gone,
693
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,580
but I hoped it wasn't the Bronx.
694
00:32:22,667 --> 00:32:24,667
And I hoped they were happy.
695
00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:28,580
Hi!
696
00:32:28,792 --> 00:32:32,002
[dance music playing]
697
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:33,920
Who wants a wiener?
698
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,710
Girl, I'm trying
to get rid of one.
699
00:32:35,792 --> 00:32:37,042
[laughs]
700
00:32:37,125 --> 00:32:39,075
[Carrie] The next Saturday,
Samantha decided
701
00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:41,206
to throw
a kiss and make-up party
702
00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:43,381
for the "up my ass" players
and their friends.
703
00:32:43,458 --> 00:32:44,918
Trey called me
three times last week.
704
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,460
He is just dying to get
back together, but I don't know.
705
00:32:47,542 --> 00:32:49,042
I mean, is that wise?
706
00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:51,130
Oh, my God.
707
00:32:51,208 --> 00:32:53,288
I'm obsessing again, aren't I?
708
00:32:53,375 --> 00:32:54,495
A little bit.
709
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,130
So what are we all drinking?
710
00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:58,208
Flirtinis.
711
00:32:58,291 --> 00:33:00,461
Vodka, pineapple, and champagne.
712
00:33:00,542 --> 00:33:02,042
Flirtinis.
713
00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:03,463
Destiny made them.
714
00:33:03,542 --> 00:33:05,462
Honey, I'm way past a flirtini.
715
00:33:05,542 --> 00:33:06,882
I need a fuck-tini!
716
00:33:06,959 --> 00:33:09,709
Watch your language.
There's ladies present.
717
00:33:09,792 --> 00:33:10,832
Where?
718
00:33:12,542 --> 00:33:14,042
Hey! You with the flower!
719
00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:15,955
What do you mean,
"You with the flower"?
720
00:33:16,041 --> 00:33:17,131
You talkin' to me?
721
00:33:17,208 --> 00:33:19,168
-Yes, you, girl!
-They're talkin' to you.
722
00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:22,502
Get up! Get up! Go on!
723
00:33:22,583 --> 00:33:23,793
What do you want?
724
00:33:23,875 --> 00:33:25,665
I want you to give me
a swirl and a twirl.
725
00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:28,540
I need to see you
spin first, sister.
726
00:33:28,625 --> 00:33:29,575
Woo!
727
00:33:31,083 --> 00:33:32,583
[cheers]
728
00:33:32,667 --> 00:33:33,877
Is that good enough?
729
00:33:33,959 --> 00:33:35,829
Give me a little shake.
Yes! Give me a shake.
730
00:33:35,917 --> 00:33:37,497
You mean something like that?
731
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,380
Oh, my. Look at that waist,
honey. Eat something!
732
00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:43,670
Go, girl. You look good.
733
00:33:43,750 --> 00:33:46,380
[laughing and chattering]
734
00:33:50,917 --> 00:33:52,327
[Carrie] Don't worry...
735
00:33:52,417 --> 00:33:54,457
they have a very lovely life.
736
00:33:54,542 --> 00:34:01,752
["Above The Clouds" by Amber
playing]